Who Do This Be? says:
it's just so round and smooth

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
DON"T BE SURPRISED IF YOU COME HOME AND FIND SPERM!!

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
.. I.. really want the sperm

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
.. I.. really want the sperm


Oy, Marsh, there you go with the kiss and tell again... ;)

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
DON"T BE SURPRISED IF YOU COME HOME AND FIND SPERM!!



--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
.. I.. really want the sperm



I.. MARSH! OMFG! OUT OF CONTEXT TO THE MAX..!!!11one

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
DON"T BE SURPRISED IF YOU COME HOME AND FIND SPERM!!


Where was the sperm?

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
.. I.. really want the sperm



... Marsh... This is how we get misthought of.

In case you're wondering...

Here's the non-spermy, was gonna be spermy site:
Www.xanga.com/MmmZygote

But if you think about it, Zygote is developed from sperm...

Psht, Whateva. The sperm layout was pimp. Check it out..

http://www.xanga.com/qucells

:)

Psht, Whateva. The sperm layout was pimp. Check it out..

http://www.xanga.com/qucells

:)




dude, that made me wanna hurl. :P

dude, that made me wanna hurl. :P
Don't hurl Erin, because if I catch wind of it, then I'm gonna spew.

Don't hurl Erin, because if I catch wind of it, then I'm gonna spew.
no! if you do that, then I'LL hork.

no! if you do that, then I'LL hork.


And I'll upchuck!

And I'll upchuck!
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goi imaralph!

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goi imaralph!
I'm blowin' chunks!

I'm blowin' chunks!
careful! or i might cut loose with a technicolor yawn.

Me:  *studying algebra*
My mom:  *walks into room*  You won't believe the phone conversation I just had.
Me:  What was it?
My mom:  *sits down and tells me about my dad's schizophrenic friend being thrown into jail for assault*
Me:  ...
My mom:  Anyways, changing the subject drastically, but do you like those blooming onions they serve at restaurants?

(today a distraught man jumped into the harbor with his 6-month old baby.  my office window looks out at the water and we saw the whole rescue.)

Annoying co-worker:  What the hell is wrong with that guy?  A little baby? Doesn't he know how cold that water is? You can't survive in that on a day like to day. What is he thinking?  He's going to kill that baby!  You can't swim in there! Cold water can kill you instantly!

this goes on and on in a Parrot-pitched whine for 10 minutes.

(today a distraught man jumped into the harbor with his 6-month old baby.  my office window looks out at the water and we saw the whole rescue.)

Annoying co-worker:  What the hell is wrong with that guy?  A little baby? Doesn't he know how cold that water is? You can't survive in that on a day like to day. What is he thinking?  He's going to kill that baby!  You can't swim in there! Cold water can kill you instantly!

this goes on and on in a Parrot-pitched whine for 10 minutes.




Maybe you should have suggested your co-worker go jump in and find out the appeal.

Maybe you should have suggested your co-worker go jump in and find out the appeal.


no kidding!!!
always the stupidest, most obvious comments..thing is, she really doesn't understand.

dope.

no kidding!!!
always the stupidest, most obvious comments..thing is, she really doesn't understand.

dope.


Look...

I don't mind Terminating annoying people, but you've got to slow down. There's only so much me and the dog can do in a short space of time.

Look...

I don't mind Terminating annoying people, but you've got to slow down. There's only so much me and the dog can do in a short space of time.


I understand...but they're not going anywyere soon...they will annoy themselves in to the grave.
and i appreciate all you've done for me in the past.
the hen will be on the altar tonight.

I understand...but they're not going anywyere soon...they will annoy themselves in to the grave.
and i appreciate all you've done for me in the past.
the hen will be on the altar tonight.


Remember, the giant swastika must be drawn in the blood of a virgin. So you're gonna have to go uptown..

dude, that made me wanna hurl. :P



Erin,I didn't find anything that was disturbing on there. ???

Erin,I didn't find anything that was disturbing on there. ???


The sperm cells, maybe?

The sperm cells, maybe?


I didn't see anything TG

The sperm cells, maybe?


yep...I don't like seeing sperm cells, they disgust me! ;D :D

yep...I don't like seeing sperm cells, they disgust me! ;D :D



Well, shoot... That kinda reverses the whole way humans function.
You truly are different...  8) hehe, I'm wearing sunglasses.

Well, shoot... That kinda reverses the whole way humans function.
You truly are different...  8) hehe, I'm wearing sunglasses.



yes...I am rather...different...;)

Well, shoot... That kinda reverses the whole way humans function.


The standard human function involves pleasuring at the image of sperm cells?

The standard human function involves pleasuring at the image of sperm cells?



Well... You're supposed to like Sperm cells so you can reproduce, yes.

Well... You're supposed to like Sperm cells so you can reproduce, yes.


No, you're supposed to like the saix.. not necessarily the products of it.

No, you're supposed to like the saix.. not necessarily the products of it.



Ha, whatever Tubeway General  :P

Gotta love that Smarterchild!

Well... You're supposed to like Sperm cells so you can reproduce, yes.


Tell me, Dominic.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d49/YWN/exp_human002.jpg

Does this turn you on?

Tell me, Dominic.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d49/YWN/exp_human002.jpg

Does this turn you on?


I.. can't stop looking.

Marsh says: I looked up asexuality on Wikipedia

Marsh says: Famous asexuals

--B e t h--..says: http://www.messenger-skins.net/images/smilies/msn_surprised.gif

Marsh says: George Washington Carver

Marsh says: http://www.messenger-skins.net/images/smilies/msn_surprised.gifhttp://www.messenger-skins.net/images/smilies/msn_surprised.gifhttp://www.messenger-skins.net/images/smilies/msn_surprised.gif

Marsh says: THE PEANUT BUTTER GUY DOESN'T LIKE THE SAIX?!

(today a distraught man jumped into the harbor with his 6-month old baby.  my office window looks out at the water and we saw the whole rescue.)

Annoying co-worker:  What the hell is wrong with that guy?  A little baby? Doesn't he know how cold that water is? You can't survive in that on a day like to day. What is he thinking?  He's going to kill that baby!  You can't swim in there! Cold water can kill you instantly!

this goes on and on in a Parrot-pitched whine for 10 minutes.


ha! that's not a human being. that's some kind of android psyop weapon.

ha! that's not a human being. that's some kind of android psyop weapon.

I"m going to put my "greetings from tallahassee" magnet on her back when she's not looking in hopes of wiping her hard drive.

AND TODAY!!!!!
(back story- a man slashed his wife's face and jumped into ny harbor with his 6 month old child..we can all deduce that he was NOT going for a swim.)
She is reading about this in the paper.
(edith bunker while...dogs outside howling as a result): he let go? how can he let go of the baby?
doesn't he know it wil get killed...it will die! how do you go in the water..when you're in how do you let go?!!!

Stupid. 

yep...I don't like seeing sperm cells, they disgust me! ;D :D


Do you like seeing sperm,in general?

Sperm? Why wasn't I informed about this conversation. Oh, wait... nevermind.

Sperm? Why wasn't I informed about this conversation. Oh, wait... nevermind.


'Sperm-sense is tingling'

Sperm? Why wasn't I informed about this conversation. Oh, wait... nevermind.



Nobody told you about the sperm story? ;D

'Sperm-sense is tingling'


That sounds like the precursor to an orgasm.

That sounds like the precursor to an orgasm.


Yes, and now Marsh, you must yell that every time you're about to have one!

Yes, and now Marsh, you must yell that every time you're about to have one!


.. a deathly silence descends over Alabama..

Yes, and now Marsh, you must yell that every time you're about to have one!


I'm actually quite satisfied with a simple "Olly Olly Oxen Free".

Tonight while I'm cooking dinner my daughter yells from the living room to come and look at a videoshe's watching on the computer

Her: Look at the guy in this band we saw last night, isn't he hot?
Me: (staring at the monitor) How old is this guy?
Her: I don't know, isn't he hot? He's so tall and look at those tight pants and his hair, and. . . .isn't he sooooo hot?
Me: So is he over 18?
Her: Probably about 20 something
Me: I'm too old to be thinking these thoughts. . . . unless of course he's over 21. . . . is he? Because if he is, yeah he's pretty d@mn hot!  (hubby just rolls his eyes and shakes his head)  :D

To paraphrase, since I don't remember exactly.. We were talking about forming a band with people we talk to online.

"We need Marsh's sex appeal. But we have to tell his mom the devil moved to Georgia to get them to move up here." - Andrew.

Telekon Palmcorder Gentleman says:
Your toilet is really shiny.

Telekon Palmcorder Gentleman says:
Your toilet is really shiny.


;D Knew it was coming.


Telekon Palmcorder Gentleman says:
So, we just killed him.

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
and I wear a beanie and stare at the ground?!

Earlier at the movies:

Me: Holy sh-t, are they making out while the ghost is chasing them? They're gonna get killed!
Plante: Do the sex! Do the sex! MAKE SEX!
Girl that wouldn't stop eye-raping me the whole movie: Did you just say "Do the sex"?
Plante: They've got at least, what 90 seconds till the ghost shows up again..

Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
I was talking about how I'd have to survive on an island, humping leaves..

Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
...no.

AvanteGardeBlue: I just have this fear of making out with strangers who look like they want to tie me to their bed and rape me for 3 days non-stop.
AvanteGardeBlue: Although that does sound undeniably sexy.

AvanteGardeBlue: I just have this fear of making out with strangers who look like they want to tie me to their bed and rape me for 3 days non-stop.
AvanteGardeBlue: Although that does sound undeniably sexy.


You've got a girlfriend!

.. a deathly silence descends over Alabama..
that deathly silence is always there.

that deathly silence is always there.


The deathly silence will forever reign.

The deathly silence will forever reign.
they saw the dirty picture of the locusts.

they saw the dirty picture of the locusts.


If they did.. Tia get's it.

If they did.. Tia get's it.
unhand her, you brute.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/NoPantsATALL.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/NoPantsATALL.jpg
now THAT's funny!

anyone ever tell you you kinda look like beck?

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
PIZZA!

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
CHEESE

now THAT's funny!

anyone ever tell you you kinda look like beck?


Well that's not him, but yes, people say the person in that pic (Strawberry Fields Forever) that he looks like Beck...

Telekon Cocaine Socialist says:
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUMANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111     
her very first true love is holding her close and for a moment she isn't scared... says:
SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-E
Telekon Cocaine Socialist says:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Telekon Cocaine Socialist says:
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
her very first true love is holding her close and for a moment she isn't scared... says:
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?
Telekon Cocaine Socialist says:
I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

My mom:  Our little boy is growing up..!  He's eating tomatoes and growing a moustache!

I was eating a sandwich with tomatoes on it, and I used to always take the tomatoes off.  :P

The moustache part was random though.  That's why it sounded funny.

My mom:  Our little boy is growing up..!  He's eating tomatoes and growing a moustache!

I was eating a sandwich with tomatoes on it, and I used to always take the tomatoes off.   :P

The moustache part was random though.  That's why it sounded funny.


I hate that line "our little boy is growing up..!"

.. Aren't we always growing until the age 40 where we shrink?

I hate that line "our little boy is growing up..!"

.. Aren't we always growing until the age 40 where we shrink?


We shrink eventually, very gradually.

We shrink eventually, very gradually.



that's very true. My grandma was like a little over 5 feet tall at one time, now she is like 4'10" :o

that's very true. My grandma was like a little over 5 feet tall at one time, now she is like 4'10" :o


Maybe you just grew since then.

Maybe you just grew since then.



I have grown a bit...but I am only about 5'2"...so I will probably be one of those 4'10" old ladies someday! ;)

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I have ways of making you REALLY horny!

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I have ways of making you REALLY horny!



Omfg, OUT OF CONTEXT AGAIN..!

I have grown a bit...but I am only about 5'2"...so I will probably be one of those 4'10" old ladies someday! ;)



I know... You know, you're starting to sound just like Beth!

The good news is, you're not alone. You see, almost every girl I know is within two inches of your height. Last year, it seemed like EVERYBODY was 5'2", or less!  :o

I know... You know, you're starting to sound just like Beth!

The good news is, you're not alone. You see, almost every girl I know is within two inches of your height. Last year, it seemed like EVERYBODY was 5'2", or less!  :o


That's because they're all 13 or 14 years old... ;D

That's because they're all 13 or 14 years old... ;D


Shhhh... I'm trying to make them feel better!

Believe me, most of them have gone through their growth spurts...

This one girl must be.. like... 4'5".. She's been since three years ago at least!

This one girl must be.. like... 4'5".. She's been since three years ago at least!


I know someone like that.. she hasn't grown in years.

Little girl from next door...

"umm..I walked up to the dog and i thought she had a bone and then it moved and I don't kow if it's a rat or what.  I thought I should tell you."

Shhhh... I'm trying to make them feel better!

Believe me, most of them have gone through their growth spurts...

This one girl must be.. like... 4'5".. She's been since three years ago at least!



lol...thanks for trying to make me feel better, beings that I am vertically challanged! ;)

Who Do This Be?
also, when I was little, before I knew what I was doing.. I stole a book with a cat's face sticking out    It was a cute book
 
Carpe Noctem  says:
... You... stole a lot of crap. 

Carpe Noctem  says:
You little klepto

Who Do This Be? says:
yes

Who Do This Be? says:
and I only kept one thing

Who Do This Be? says:
the book

Who Do This Be? says:
which I gave to goodwill recently...

Carpe Noctem  says:
Oh, that's real nice, "Here, Goodwill, have my STOLEN MERCHANDISE!"

Little girl from next door...

"umm..I walked up to the dog and i thought she had a bone and then it moved and I don't kow if it's a rat or what.  I thought I should tell you."
HAHA! love it. i can picture it.

sounds like bode's kickin' a and takin' names, yes?

HAHA! love it. i can picture it.

sounds like bode's kickin' a and takin' names, yes?

Nature's perfect warrior.

Robin talking to her friend on her cell phone last night:

"Hi Maria,Could I call you back later,I'm busy with my boyfriend right now". ::)  ;D

Omfg, OUT OF CONTEXT AGAIN..!


Okay... so... what context is that TO BE taken it?

Anyway, from the other day...

Me: DUDE! I just had two dude moments! SIMULTANEOUSLY! And neither other party was a dude! This must be what SEX feels like!

Me: DUDE! I just had two dude moments! SIMULTANEOUSLY! And neither other party was a dude! This must be what SEX feels like!


Wait...I don't get that.

Nature's perfect warrior.
it's even funnier picturing some whippersnapper girl-scout brownie recounting this gruesome scene.

it's even funnier picturing some whippersnapper girl-scout brownie recounting this gruesome scene.

Another good quote from her was yesterday:

Hi Karen!  Any dead rodents today?  (while skipping up to me)

Nobody told you about the sperm story? ;D


Actually, you didn't get the joke, did you?  :o

It was a way of saying that I give out too much info and stuff. :o

Wait...I don't get that.


I'll explain on MSN sometime.

Actually, you didn't get the joke, did you?  :o

It was a way of saying that I give out too much info and stuff. :o


Oh so you give out too much sperm? :o  ;D

Oh so you give out too much sperm? :o   ;D


In my teens, oh look at what you made me say!!!! ::) :-[

In my teens, oh look at what you made me say!!!! ::) :-[


I made you say that? :o  ::)

Wait...I don't get that.


Same... here...

Same... here...


I'll have to explain to you.. but Dude Moments are the most awesome feeling ever.

I'll have to explain to you.. but Dude Moments are the most awesome feeling ever.


Ew...I just got an idea....but...no...that can't be it...

Especially not simultaneously.

Ew...I just got an idea....but...no...that can't be it...

Especially not simultaneously.


You obviously don't get how awesome they are...

You obviously don't get how awesome they are...


You two came simultaneously in each others company..

..You're gonna have to explain this one because that's what it sounds like.

You two came simultaneously in each others company..

..You're gonna have to explain this one because that's what it sounds like.
those moments are beautiful, but they're over so quickly...

You two came simultaneously in each others company..

..You're gonna have to explain this one because that's what it sounds like.


Well, as long as somebody else said it first, yep, I'm pretty sure that's what the majority of us were thinking, Mr. General...

You two came simultaneously in each others company..

..You're gonna have to explain this one because that's what it sounds like.



Okay.. a dude moment is a moment in which some crazy, ironic, or otherwise kickass thing happens.. the two parties look at each other, but no words are necessary... but if they were, the words would be simply: "Dude..."

A few examples:

1. You're in a grocery store, and you fart really loud and long. The only guy around is some random clerk, stocking a shelf or something.. then, a few minutes later, an old lady walks up and is all like "Ewww, what's that smell?".. you and the clerk, having never met before, look at each other, you both know what the f--k's up.

2. You and some other guy are walking.. it doesn't matter your relationship to that person, you may not even know them.. but all the sudden, this attractive female walks in front of both of you.. again, the usual eye meet, and there's usually a big-ass grin coming from both parties.

Does it make any sense?


See, in my situation, I had a dude moment with two people at the same time, neither of which were dudes.. they were both girls.

Well, as long as somebody else said it first, yep, I'm pretty sure that's what the majority of us were thinking, Mr. General...
jah vohl, mein heir, mein kommandant.

those moments are beautiful, but they're over so quickly...


..we have to have tea again.

More from the lovely lady sitting next to me!!!!!

"the lady at the nail place, she's korean, you know, they all are...and she says they don't eat at
chinese restaurants here ..she said they cook american not chinese but i' guess its' good enough her family is korean
so they opened a nice oriental supermarket...but who knows how to cook that stuff?! what is anyone going to do with that?"

More from the lovely lady sitting next to me!!!!!

"the lady at the nail place, she's korean, you know, they all are...and she says they don't eat at
chinese restaurants here ..she said they cook american not chinese but i' guess its' good enough her family is korean
so they opened a nice oriental supermarket...but who knows how to cook that stuff?! what is anyone going to do with that?"


PLEASE! I BEG! I'll not only do it for free, I'll pay you to let me take her out of the gene pool.

LET ME TERMINATE HER!

*shakes head in dismay*

PLEASE! I BEG! I'll not only do it for free, I'll pay you to let me take her out of the gene pool.

LET ME TERMINATE HER!

It would really brighten up my day, when the attendance sheets get handed out, that the HR person tells me sh'es missing and won't be back.


I'll give you my first born male child.
KK

It would really brighten up my day, when the attendance sheets get handed out, that the HR person tells me sh'es missing and won't be back.


I'll give you my first born male child.
KK


The aryan race shall benefit.

...


...


...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/WHOMFGHATSJPEG.jpg

...


...


...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/WHOMFGHATSJPEG.jpg


LMFAO!!!  ;D ;D ;D :D ;D

"You And I have to get married by next year".

Robin telling me on Sunday when we want to make out alone,We might want to consider to get our own apartment.

"You And I have to get married by next year".

Robin telling me on Sunday when we want to make out and we have to get our own apartment.
lol.

"make out" = "move out"?

you've really seriously got it on the brain, yo. i thought I was bad.

I.. I didn't know what else to respond to all of that with.  ;D

I.. I didn't know what else to respond to all of that with.  ;D


Hey, kudos for being the first person in a while who was able to make me laugh so loudly my mam shouted up for me to be quiet!  ;D

lol.

"make out" = "move out"?

you've really seriously got it on the brain, yo. i thought I was bad.



We've been making out in her Parents house so much that we need to get our own apartment,Tia.

...


...


...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/WHOMFGHATSJPEG.jpg


So Beth made all of those... but she only used two...

So Beth made all of those... but she only used two...


...

...

...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/BananaDance.gif

...

...

...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/Off-Pissers/BananaDance.gif


WTF?! I have absolutely no idea what's going on here... this image is very odd, almost disturbing... and yet so damn happy. Not sure I've seen anything that's ever puzzled me quite this much.

Applause for posting it. ;)

In meeting:

Clerk 1:  ...are these numbers accurate? Should we stick with these totals?
Clerk 2: ...no! higher!
Clerk 1.: ...*high-pitched voice* Should we stick with these totals?
'
'

heeeeeeheeeeeeee

In meeting:

Clerk 1:  ...are these numbers accurate? Should we stick with these totals?
Clerk 2: ...no! higher!
Clerk 1.: ...*high-pitched voice* Should we stick with these totals?
'
'

heeeeeeheeeeeeee


The old ones are the best!!

my friend after we got lost on our walk at the military base and having to jump a fence to the shore in order to find our way home...

Hey, here's the beach!  *reads sign*  like I like my sex...unprotected.. 

WTF?! I have absolutely no idea what's going on here... this image is very odd, almost disturbing... and yet so damn happy. Not sure I've seen anything that's ever puzzled me quite this much.

Applause for posting it. ;)


Glad you enjoyed it.. it's another of those "I don't know what to post to respond" pics.

I made you say that? :o  ::)


::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

Well, I wouldn't have said it if you didn't ask. :D :D :D :D :D

::) ::) ::) ::) ::)

Well, I wouldn't have said it if you didn't ask. :D :D :D :D :D


Ask you what? ???

Ask you what? ???


About the giving out too much sperm!!!!!!!! :D ;D ::)

About the giving out too much sperm!!!!!!!! :D ;D ::)


Did you do what I said? ;D

Did you do what I said? ;D


::) ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D :D

...................................

...

...

...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v473/TheMoonandAntarctica/Forum%20Stuff/ThatSucked.bmp

there is a house up our block with about 7 crazed german shephards inside.
this is a conversation with the owner.

me: you can't have much room in there.
him: i have a bullmastiff at home
me: at home? you don't live here?
him: no
me; this is a two-story dog house?
him: yup.


creepy

there is a house up our block with about 7 crazed german shephards inside.
this is a conversation with the owner.

me: you can't have much room in there.
him: i have a bullmastiff at home
me: at home? you don't live here?
him: no
me; this is a two-story dog house?
him: yup.


creepy
the health department recently shut down this old lady near where i live who had exactly three hundred and three cats in her house. her trash cans were filled with dead cats, great heaving gobs of filthy kitty litter, and old, hardened cat food. it was GROSS! i felt bad for her, she had OCD or something, compulsive hoarding.

the health department recently shut down this old lady near where i live who had exactly three hundred and three cats in her house. her trash cans were filled with dead cats, great heaving gobs of filthy kitty litter, and old, hardened cat food. it was GROSS! i felt bad for her, she had OCD or something, compulsive hoarding.


Cat owners are disgusting. Cats in general are disgusting.. doing their sinful business inside.

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
Yeah, well I have to look at your cat's massive ball.

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
Yeah, well I have to look at your cat's massive ball.


My point proven.. cats are revolting.

the health department recently shut down this old lady near where i live who had exactly three hundred and three cats in her house. her trash cans were filled with dead cats, great heaving gobs of filthy kitty litter, and old, hardened cat food. it was GROSS! i felt bad for her, she had OCD or something, compulsive hoarding.


oh....*cringe*...her trash cans were filled with dead cats...
did I mention that by my office the chinese restaurant is right next to the animal hospital?
she should hook up with them.

oh....*cringe*...her trash cans were filled with dead cats...
did I mention that by my office the chinese restaurant is right next to the animal hospital?
she should hook up with them.


That's no accident.

You better keep Bode indoors.

Cat owners are disgusting. Cats in general are disgusting.. doing their sinful business inside.



What's wrong with cats these days?

What's wrong with cats these days?


I KNOW! They used to behave, now they're all "Well, we're gonna crap inside." I agree with you Howard, cat's should be banned from being.

I KNOW! They used to behave, now they're all "Well, we're gonna crap inside." I agree with you Howard, cat's should be banned from being.



What about pigeons? :P

What about pigeons? :P


and squirrels, double yuk  :P :P

and squirrels, double yuk   :P :P


I'd catch a pigeon but they fly away too fast for me.

I'm gonna quote myself because I'm such an arrogant bastard:

"White ipods can't jump."

The other day, between my dad and mom:

Dad: Haha, Trina's a homo!
Mom: Wait, what? How can I be gay? I like men.
Dad: Case and point.

A rather worrying comment exchanged between a young couple who came into the shop tonight:

Girl: (to boy) You smell like a condom...

Cat owners are disgusting. Cats in general are disgusting.. doing their sinful business inside.


:\'( :\'( :\'(




Cat

:\'( :\'( :\'(




Cat


Aww, no tears, now. I'm sure there's an exception made for catwomen!

Aww, no tears, now. I'm sure there's an exception made for catwomen!



Thanks. Applause for that.



Cat

He has no support for those accusations.

I asked him about it. Just says they do nothing... pft

Cats rule the wold! 'Tis true...

He has no support for those accusations.

I asked him about it. Just says they do nothing... pft

Cats rule the wold! 'Tis true...



Yup. Cats rule and dogs drool.




Cat

Yup. Cats rule and dogs drool.




Cat


Literally!  :D

Yup. Cats rule and dogs drool.




Cat



I second that! Cat owners ROCK!!! ;)

Yup. Cats rule and dogs drool.


Well, dogs certainly do drool a lot.. it's cause they're always hungry.

I saw comedian who said "I don't like dogs, they do whatever you want. Try telling a cat to sit. He'll be like.. "..... I'mma start tearin' up these curtains till you learn who runs sh-t around here! And put some food in my motherf--kin' bowl!"

Well, dogs certainly do drool a lot.. it's cause they're always hungry.

I saw comedian who said "I don't like dogs, they do whatever you want. Try telling a cat to sit. He'll be like.. "..... I'mma start tearin' up these curtains till you learn who runs sh-t around here! And put some food in my motherf--kin' bowl!"



lol..that's funny! ;)

A very cute story concerning feeding a cat...

last night I was in the kitchen and my one cat, Anna was following me around. I knew that they needed fed, and I was getting to it...but she just kept on following me around. Finally she goes over to the cupboard where we keep their container of cat food, takes her paw and literally opens the door, climbs in the cupboard and starts meowing.....it was hilarious!  Needless to say, I fed them right away after all of that effort! ;) ;D

last night I was in the kitchen and my one cat, Anna was following me around. I knew that they needed fed, and I was getting to it...but she just kept on following me around. Finally she goes over to the cupboard where we keep their container of cat food, takes her paw and literally opens the door, climbs in the cupboard and starts meowing.....it was hilarious!  Needless to say, I fed them right away after all of that effort! ;) ;D


Our dog will notice you're going to the basement (his food is kept at the top of the flight of stairs that leads to the basement), knock you over, open the thing with his nose, and eat.

Our dog will notice you're going to the basement (his food is kept at the top of the flight of stairs that leads to the basement), knock you over, open the thing with his nose, and eat.



habits of animals are so funny! It's amazing what they know exactly to do in situations like those.

habits of animals are so funny! It's amazing what they know exactly to do in situations like those.


Yes, it is... however, it's also a bit scary how much of an evil genius my dog is.

Yes, it is... however, it's also a bit scary how much of an evil genius my dog is.



;D I often wonder what they are thinking sometimes...like when they just stare at you with their head slightly tilted to the side... :D

;D I often wonder what they are thinking sometimes...like when they just stare at you with their head slightly tilted to the side... :D


My dog tilted his head to the side so far one time, trying to look cute, he fell over.  ;D

I wonder what he's thinking.. but I don't like to think about it, cause it's probably scary.

Tonight as I was putting Vaughn to bed, I had told him a story and he was getting ready to go to sleep.


Vaughn: (looks up at wall) Can you get rid of that little piece of fuzz?
Me: Where?
Vaughn: up there.
Me: I can't even see anything....oh wait, it's moving...it's not fuzz, it's a spider!! :D
Vaughn: (starts laughing)
Me: Hang on, I will get rid of it (proceeds to get a tissue, grabs the spider and flushes it down the toilet)...OK Vaughn, I got it...it is down the toilet.
Vaughn: it is the daddy spider....and he is going home to his family
Me: (about to cry)...um....ya
Vaughn: But...why did it go down the toilet?
Me:  Well...that's where the spider lives, it likes places that are dark
Vaughn: Can I go down the toilet?
Me: No, you are not a spider....good-night Vaughn
Vaughn: Goodnight.

;D ;D ;D ;D

Julie: "So, do you errr, like movies and things."
Me: "Well that all depends."
Julie: "On what?"
Me: "Well, on what kind of movie it is."
Julie: "So what kind of movies do you like."
Me: "That all depends as well"
Julie: "Oh right then, errr, are there any you'd like to see?"
Me: "No, not really."
Julie: "Ah, Ok, Oh, well, I'll speak to you later."



hehehehe, she has the hots for me, I wanted to be difficult.

Le sigh.

Le sigh.



A NON-forum quote worth posting. I think ... NOT!

"Howard,you're the best kisser".

Tonight as I was putting Vaughn to bed, I had told him a story and he was getting ready to go to sleep.


Vaughn: (looks up at wall) Can you get rid of that little piece of fuzz?
Me: Where?
Vaughn: up there.
Me: I can't even see anything....oh wait, it's moving...it's not fuzz, it's a spider!! :D
Vaughn: (starts laughing)
Me: Hang on, I will get rid of it (proceeds to get a tissue, grabs the spider and flushes it down the toilet)...OK Vaughn, I got it...it is down the toilet.
Vaughn: it is the daddy spider....and he is going home to his family
Me: (about to cry)...um....ya
Vaughn: But...why did it go down the toilet?
Me:  Well...that's where the spider lives, it likes places that are dark
Vaughn: Can I go down the toilet?
Me: No, you are not a spider....good-night Vaughn
Vaughn: Goodnight.

;D ;D ;D ;D



;D That made me laugh.

APPLAUSE!

"Howard,you're the best kisser".


DID YOUR MOM SAY THAT?!  :D

No, I'm just kidding.. I know who did.  :)

No, I'm just kidding.. I know who did.  :)


That's right.. it was me.

Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
My dad has to get up at five in the morning to go to work
DominEl says:
YEAH?! MY MOM DOES TOO AND SHE GOES TO BED AT 11!!!111
Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
My dad could beat up your mom.
DominEl says:
I DOUBT THAT

Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
My dad has to get up at five in the morning to go to work
DominEl says:
YEAH?! MY MOM DOES TOO AND SHE GOES TO BED AT 11!!!111
Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
My dad could beat up your mom.
DominEl says:
I DOUBT THAT


It's true! She works out!

God is one of those self hating Jews.

That's right.. it was me.


NO TG,It was someone else,My significant other. ;)

NO TG,It was someone else,My significant other. ;)



Sure about that? He's been told he does look a lot like Robin, yanno.

Sure about that? He's been told he does look a lot like Robin, yanno.



And I believe he was in the New York area, at the time..

Sure about that? He's been told he does look a lot like Robin, yanno.


No Not a bit

Marsh - "This Town Is Crazy But Nobody Cares" says:
...do you have any other friends on MSN yeT?
yaaaaarrggg says:
No.
yaaaaarrggg says:
But there's this show on CSPAN
yaaaaarrggg says:
about child pornagraphy

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I am a man..! 

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I am a man..! 


I KNEW IT!

I KNEW IT!


After all those times fellating her, it makes sense now, doesn't it?

Me: I mean, I think it's quite possible to love multiple people. You can hate many people.. you can feel friendship to many people.. why not romantic love?
Brett: Love? What are you, gay? Ewwwwww...
Me: Oh, you can't be that heartless.
Brett: And you can't be that GAY.
Me: Man, shut the f--k up!
Brett: Said the FAG!

Me: I mean, I think it's quite possible to love multiple people. You can hate many people.. you can feel friendship to many people.. why not romantic love?
Brett: Love? What are you, gay? Ewwwwww...
Me: Oh, you can't be that heartless.
Brett: And you can't be that GAY.
Me: Man, shut the f--k up!
Brett: Said the FAG!


Brett totally smoked your ass.

Me:  You know, Beck is a Scientologist.
My mom:  Ugh...what in the world has gotten into her?
Me:  ..."he"...
My mom:  Wait, what did you say?
Me:  Beck is a Scientologist.
My mom:  Oh, I thought you said Beth.

Yes, she was thinking of the same one...

Me:  You know, Beck is a Scientologist.
My mom:  Ugh...what in the world has gotten into her?
Me:  ..."he"...
My mom:  Wait, what did you say?
Me:  Beck is a Scientologist.
My mom:  Oh, I thought you said Beth.


I was deeply hurt when I found out Beck was a Scientologist.. I was like "Awww, Beck.. why?"

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I am a man..! 


What drizzle is he referring to?

What drizzle is he referring to?



...

That's me, Howard. That's my name on MSN. It deals with Elliott Smith.

"i don't have a violent bone in my body.

"okay, i do, however, have a violent bone ON my body."

Quote:
That's why older women are da sheeeet, mang!  Just imagine,......take what you're thinking, make it three times as depraved, add a feather, and you've almost got what they're thinking.



(it's true!)

Quote:
That's why older women are da sheeeet, mang!  Just imagine,......take what you're thinking, make it three times as depraved, add a feather, and you've almost got what they're thinking.



(it's true!)
man, whoever said that should get with whoever said the violent bone thing. sounds like a match made in heaven.

man, whoever said that should get with whoever said the violent bone thing. sounds like a match made in heaven.


inthe00s dating service!!

I have a lot from last night.. I'll explain when I get back.

Today, at work..


Mother of Child: Steven, come over here quick! Aren't these the Star Wars figures you've been looking for?
Child: Yes! WOW!
Mother Of Child: And they're only $3..!
Child: Mom, can we get one? PLEASE?
Mother Of Child: ...Nnnnope! *grins and walks away*
Child: ...  :o... :(... :\'(


Ha. So evil. I love it.

Today, at work..

Child: Mom, can we get one? PLEASE?
Mother Of Child: ...Nnnnope! *grins and walks away*

Ha. So evil. I love it.


That is hysterical.  I'll have to do that to my kids someday.

"Stop watching the Disney Channel, Mom."

(My 16 y.o. son after I tried to talk to him about sex).

"Stop watching the Disney Channel, Mom."

(My 16 y.o. son after I tried to talk to him about sex).


You really should.
Heee heeee! I love those kids!

Today, at work..


Mother of Child: Steven, come over here quick! Aren't these the Star Wars figures you've been looking for?
Child: Yes! WOW!
Mother Of Child: And they're only $3..!
Child: Mom, can we get one? PLEASE?
Mother Of Child: ...Nnnnope! *grins and walks away*
Child: ...  :o... :(... :\'(


Ha. So evil. I love it.


that is so cruel...I could never do that!! :-\\

inthe00s dating service!!



I hope Chucky comes up with that idea someday. ;D

Michelle - OK, if I was not a failure but a blank.
Me - winner?
Ron - Jerk?
Me - Asshole?
Ron - Crack whore?
Me - Laotian Tranny whore?
Ron - Ponderdog?
Michelle - Success, you fudgeing bastards.. Oh fudge i ruined it

From my sectional at the band-a-thon:

Ethan: Okay, so let me think... it's getting confusing. Andrew Clevenger's girlfriend sodomized him with a cucumber, which he ate afterwards?
Me: Yes.
Andrew Clevenger: Sounds right, but I really have to protest this whole..
Ethan: Irrelevant. *tells next guy in our row*
Josh: Did you say that Andrew Clevenger sodomized himself with something? *tells next guy*
Ethan: Crap... you realize this is somehow gonna get around the band, but not before somehow becoming "Ethan got sodomized by Andrew Clevenger's cucumber!" or something like that?
Me: Yep. Hey look, it's the co-father of my child!

"Little old lady got mutilated late last night"

W. Zevon

Michelle - OK, if I was not a failure but a blank.
Me - winner?
Ron - Jerk?
Me - Ashcroft?
Ron - Crack whore?
Me - Laotian Tranny whore?
Ron - Ponderdog?
Michelle - Success, you fudging bastards.. Oh fudge i ruined it
ponderdog?

ponderdog?


Ok..
the game I just described.

One of the answers was Underdog..

Not over but..  blank dog.

Black is here to save the day.

PONDERDOG PONDERDOG!  ;D

Today, at work..


Mother of Child: Steven, come over here quick! Aren't these the Star Wars figures you've been looking for?
Child: Yes! WOW!
Mother Of Child: And they're only $3..!
Child: Mom, can we get one? PLEASE?
Mother Of Child: ...Nnnnope! *grins and walks away*
Child: ...  :o... :(... :\'(


Ha. So evil. I love it.


...

  :\'(

...

  :\'(


;) :D

;) :D


If Marsh is supposed to be on vacation...

And he just posted that...

DOES THAT MEAN BETH HAS HIS PASSWORD?!!  :D

If Marsh is supposed to be on vacation...

And he just posted that...

DOES THAT MEAN BETH HAS HIS PASSWORD?!!  :D




Marsh was at the library, and I missed him  :\'(

"I just love your erotic massages". ;)

Robin last night when we made out.  ;)

the famous Alice doing a word-search puzzle at work..

"Zing? that's a word?! What is this, a chinese puzzle?!"

the famous Alice doing a word-search puzzle at work..

"Zing? that's a word?! What is this, a chinese puzzle?!"


  ;D What a prize this one is...

We had an all-night band thing on Saturday.. for the times during breaks, my friend, Justin, set up a DDR thing on a TV with 2 Pads. This one girl had been playing all night. For the sake of the story, I have to inform you that she's fairly hot. But anyway... she'd been playing DDR for hours that night, and she'd played several matches against my friend, Brett. Today at lunch she talked to Brett:

Dannon (Yes, her name is Dannon): Dude! Dude!
Jeverly: Dude, Brett, that girl wants your attention.
Dannon: I can't remember your name right now, but I just wanted to tell you.. oh man, I'm STILL sore from the other night!
Everyone: *Long Pause*
Joey: Dude... score.

  ;D What a prize this one is...

I'm contemplating an Alice thread....she's an inexhaustible fount of sillyness.

A random passing comment from my 14 y.o.:

"I think farting's just another fad." 

A random passing comment from my 14 y.o.:

"I think farting's just another fad." 


Sounds like the boy needs a Visit from Uncle Lemmy Rockmister.

I'll teach him about the etiquette of farting.
Don't do it in front of a lady..















.. wait until she goes out and do it on her pillow.

.. wait until she goes out and do it on her pillow.


Just what my boys need....a wise male role model  ;D

Just what my boys need....a wise male role model  ;D


Ask your sister.

She's actually begun to model herself on me, I've re-created the gender confusion situation.

Ask your sister.

She's actually begun to model herself on me, I've re-created the gender confusion situation.


...which was bad enough in the 80s!!!!
I thought I was a gay british man.  Now I think I'm a tall young man with a dsl connection and a pan-UK/midwest accent.

...which was bad enough in the 80s!!!!
I thought I was a gay british man.  Now I think I'm a tall young man with a dsl connection and a pan-UK/midwest accent.


Bahahahaha!!  ;D  At least you're only being one person at a time.  I remember when you were the Beatles (all of them).

Bahahahaha!!  ;D   At least you're only being one person at a time.  I remember when you were the Beatles (all of them).


My best friend says, "the only way we got through freshman year is Karen thought she was a gay Englishman and I thought I was a fat black woman."

Sounds like the boy needs a Visit from Uncle Lemmy Rockmister.

I'll teach him about the etiquette of farting.
Don't do it in front of a lady..















.. wait until she goes out and do it on her pillow.



You don't want her taking a whiff of it.  ;D

You don't want her taking a whiff of it.  ;D


You gotta grab her head and shove it under the duvet Howard

You gotta grab her head and shove it under the duvet Howard



I got to try that with Robin someday. ;D

I got to try that with Robin someday. ;D


YOU MUST!

Women really appreciate it when you do a good one.
I'd advise you to start experimenting with an all Bean diet.

A random passing comment from my 14 y.o.:

"I think farting's just another fad." 

That is so wierd, today my daughter said the dinner I cooked smelled like a fart  :\'(  ;D

That is so wierd, today my daughter said the dinner I cooked smelled like a fart  :\'(   ;D


Don't you hate it when your kids say that after you've cooked a meal?  Or they walk up to the dinner table and say, "Ew.  Is that what we're having for dinner??"  (I would have put this in the "DYHIW" thread but it wouldn't have been in context).

Don't you hate it when your kids say that after you've cooked a meal?  Or they walk up to the dinner table and say, "Ew.  Is that what we're having for dinner??"  (I would have put this in the "DYHIW" thread but it wouldn't have been in context).

Yep, they just don't get it do they? Luckily it didn't taste like a fart  ;D 

You gotta grab her head and shove it under the duvet Howard


Well just check that technique will ya! 

...and once again, the arrogant bastard will quote himself.

Me:  (imitating British accent)  I'm sorry, I'll have to get back to you; at the moment I have a bloody case of 'emmorhoids!

My mom:  ;D

Me:  A bloody case of 'emmorhoids!

My mom:  ;D ;D  Stop it!  You're making my back hurt!

Me:  At this very moment, I am hemmorhaging!

My mom:  Stop!  :\'(

Me:  My bum is in agony!



...my mother had hurt her back the other night.    :(

YOU MUST!

Women really appreciate it when you do a good one.
I'd advise you to start experimenting with an all Bean diet.


Would that also include meat products too?  ;D

...and once again, the arrogant bastard will quote himself.

Me:  (imitating British accent)  I'm sorry, I'll have to get back to you; at the moment I have a bloody case of 'emmorhoids!

My mom:   ;D

Me:  A bloody case of 'emmorhoids!

My mom:   ;D ;D  Stop it!  You're making my back hurt!

Me:  At this very moment, I am hemmorhaging!

My mom:  Stop!   :\'(

Me:  My bum is in agony!


I'm sorry to hear about your mam's back, but that's pretty funny!

You'll have to record this 'imitation' one day so that we can all hear it  ::)

Well just check that technique will ya! 


Is it MY duvet or HER duvet?  ;D

Would that also include meat products too?  ;D


Whatever it takes Howard, whatever it takes.

May I suggest you eat a lot of White Castle's.

Whatever it takes Howard, whatever it takes.

May I suggest you eat a lot of White Castle's.



How many should I eat? ;D

How many should I eat? ;D


Buy one of those case dealies... 30 of 'em.

Buy one of those case dealies... 30 of 'em.



That'll be some big gas.

That'll be some big gas.


See if you can light it.

See if you can light it.



No I can't light it.

I was talking to DAK on MSN, and I told him I had to get ready for school. I came back about half an hour later to see this on my screen "Masturbator".

I don't know why, but this made me chuckle.  :D

There ya goes, Michael... Your second (or third?) NON- Forum Quote!

Don Ampelio Telekon says:
Dude..
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
I'm making waffles. RIGHT NOW.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
brb

Don Ampelio Telekon says:
Dude..
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
I'm making waffles. RIGHT NOW.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
brb


I did, and they were damn delicious.

sitting in a brief meeting...all goes silent while we read a memo..

then, breaking the silence:
"who had broccoli?"

DominEl says:
The Doors were considered for woodstock but it was feared that Jim Morrison would take off his pants.

Don Ampelio Telekon says:
My dream was that you and me rented an apartment together.. we were weird living together.. I was constantly bringing strange Latinos into the house and partying, and you were constantly wearing an apron and yelling at me and singing Flaming Lips songs..
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
Then Philip Eno showed up..
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
He was our landlord.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
He told us Beth and Marsh had moved in upstairs.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
We were angry they didn't tell us, so we decided, with the encouragement of my Latino friends, to kill them.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
And we went up and Andy body-slammed us.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
And we all just laughed..
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
I think I was dead, though.
DominEl says:
... you
DominEl says:
...
DominEl says:
are crazy
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
That's not what my Latino friends said.
DominEl says:
Hey... I'm latino
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
You were really whiny.. I mean, Christ, you were ALWAYS yelling at me.
DominEl says:
WHAT AM I TO YOU?!
DominEl says:
  Sounds like fun
DominEl says:
When we're older, we should all move in together and force Marsh to get a good job to pay for us while we do our art
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
You were always like "You scratched Yoshimi! I didn't have that backed up!" or "Why is my Radiohead shirt on fire?"
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
And I was always like "PFFT."
DominEl says:
!!!!! Wow
DominEl says:
My liking Yoshimi really has an impact on you, huh?
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
Well, I scratched pretty much every album I didn't like.. and then my Latino friends ruined all the others.
Don Ampelio Telekon says:
I think at one point I ate a CD.

I'm serious, dude, you were bitchy. That's why my Latino friends hated you.

Everybody hates me.  ::)

Everybody hates me.  ::)


Naw, just me and my Latino friends. You get in our way.

Naw, just me and my Latino friends. You get in our way.


The whole world is you and latino friends?

The whole world is you and latino friends?


Pretty much, yeah.

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
Do more Mountain Goats, too!

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
Do more Mountain Goats, too!


Yeah!  >:(

Yeah!  >:(


I only got so many hours in the day, son!

"She Wanted to Leave" took 2 days, 90 minutes each day. That's all the time I get. Though I may get a lot of time this weekend.

--B e t h--.. "..Standing alone In the drizzle, With his head down and his Walkman turned up. He looked unspeakably lonely.." says:
I noticed that old ladies are much more comfortable with whipping their clothes off.

Mother's not in a very good mood...

Me: Happy Christmas!
Mam: Go upstairs and get out of my f*cking way before I knock your head off

:\'( :\'(

"She looks like the result of an orgy at a Benneton ad photo shoot!"

I take it back...new one..from the famous co-worker!

"the time clock is one minute faster than it used to be...someone changed it! it must have been changed because I've been one minute late every day since daylight savings time...a minute late every goddam day....(mumbles, walks away)"

Mother's not in a very good mood...

Me: Happy Christmas!
Mam: Go upstairs and get out of my f*cking way before I knock your head off

:\'( :\'(


That's a sad story.  :-\\ 

I take it back...new one..from the famous co-worker!

"the time clock is one minute faster than it used to be...someone changed it! it must have been changed because I've been one minute late every day since daylight savings time...a minute late every goddam day....(mumbles, walks away)"
i think she's finally coming unhinged. you should confess to setting it 59 seconds faster but plead ignorance regarding whoever changed it that additional second...

i think she's finally coming unhinged. you should confess to setting it 59 seconds faster but plead ignorance regarding whoever changed it that additional second...


I wish I could do that thing where you take up the homes of someone's clothing and they think they're growing..