;D  Last line!

"I'm not very good at doing things I'm not good at". 

Shania Twain

"I'm not very good at doing things I'm not good at". 

Shania Twain


Well... I'm not either.

Well... I'm not either.
come to think of it, me neither. 

"I'm not very good at doing things I'm not good at". 

Shania Twain
"pain don't hurt."
-- patrick swayze

"pain don't hurt."
-- patrick swayze
sounds like Dalton in *Roadhouse*

sounds like Dalton in *Roadhouse*
one and the same! ;D

one and the same! ;D
really, was that a line from the movie?  :o  I love that movie  ;D

Well, that's the news at this moment. I'll be back at 6:30 and again at 10:30 tomorrow night with the next major editions of 7 national News.  In the meantime, don't forget 11:00am for the first news of the day---7 o'clock tomorrow.


TV newsman, Australia

really, was that a line from the movie?  :o  I love that movie  ;D
yeah, you remember, foxy doctor babe is stitching him up and looking at his formidable medical record that basically amounted to, "you should see the other guy..." over and over again.

that's sorta uncanny that you called that line. you must remember it subconsciously.

yeah, you remember, foxy doctor babe is stitching him up and looking at his formidable medical record that basically amounted to, "you should see the other guy..." over and over again.

that's sorta uncanny that you called that line. you must remember it subconsciously.
foxy blonde doctor babe was his real life wife i think.  I actually didn't recall that line from the movie, but it sounded like something his Dalton character would say and it was

foxy blonde doctor babe was his real life wife i think.  I actually didn't recall that line from the movie, but it sounded like something his Dalton character would say and it was
it's a big mst3k inside joke, actually, they have lots of "pain don't hurt" gags. because pain does, in fact, by definition, hurt. ;D roadhouse is mike nelson's favorite bad movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzqhQG4AZO8

it's a big mst3k inside joke, actually, they have lots of "pain don't hurt" gags. because pain does, in fact, by definition, hurt. ;D roadhouse is mike nelson's favorite bad movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzqhQG4AZO8
what is mst3k?    Roadhouse is a good bad movie.  ok there's a thread that needs to be made, something about favorite bad movies

what is mst3k?     Roadhouse is a good bad movie.  ok there's a thread that needs to be made, something about favorite bad movies
mst3k is mystery science theater 3000, that show with the puppets that make fun of bad movies. mike nelson was their head writer. mst3k is the best show that was ever on television. 8)

mst3k is mystery science theater 3000, that show with the puppets that make fun of bad movies. mike nelson was their head writer. mst3k is the best show that was ever on television. 8)
oh yeah, the robot movie reviewers cracked me up. I wish i could slam bad movies that sarcastically  ;D

oh yeah, the robot movie reviewers cracked me up. I wish i could slam bad movies that sarcastically  ;D
believe it or not, they described it as an incredibly difficult job. the turnover rate was pretty high and it turns out sitting watching horrendous movies all day long, trying to brainstorm jokes, is actually really painful. i always thought, man, that's a dream job, but it turns out it makes you wanna jump off a cliff. cant argue with the results, though, that show was hilarious!

believe it or not, they described it as an incredibly difficult job. the turnover rate was pretty high and it turns out sitting watching horrendous movies all day long, trying to brainstorm jokes, is actually really painful. i always thought, man, that's a dream job, but it turns out it makes you wanna jump off a cliff. cant argue with the results, though, that show was hilarious!
;D  that's sad when you start dreading going to work at your "dream job" 

...There's nothing a woman hates more than her fiancee's best friend. He knows all the secrets she's going to spend the rest of her life trying to find out.


Jeff Douglas

My mother called to talk about the Mets and then she said:

"I'm not going to talk long because Laurence Welk is coming on."  :o :o :o  :D :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

My mother called to talk about the Mets and then she said:

"I'm not going to talk long because Laurence Welk is coming on."   :o :o :o  :D :D ;D ;D ;D



Cat
that's too sweet  ;D


"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it".
Buddy Hackett

In 1992, Germans used 170 million condoms, Brittans used  160 million. The French used 100 million. We can catch up, but we must go faster.

- Phillippe Douste-Blazy, French Health Minister....  from the quote of the day calender Wed. July 16th

In 1992, Germans used 170 million condoms, Brittans used  160 million. The French used 100 million. We can catch up, but we must go faster.

- Phillippe Douste-Blazy, French Health Minister....  from the quote of the day calender Wed. July 16th



Go faster or come faster? Sorry, couldn't resist.



Cat

Go faster or come faster? Sorry, couldn't resist.



Cat


;D



From the I Love Lucy ep I'm watching.....  "Magazine Interview" original airdate 2/8/54


Lucy thinks Ricky is having an affair (again) so she goes to confront the woman....but doesn't want to reveal who she is so she poses as a poll taker for magazine
LUCY: We're conducting a poll and we'd like to ask you some questions.
MINNIE FINCH: uh....say.....you're name ain't Kinsey is it?

1954!..... that's friggin hilarious and it only took me this long to catch the joke.

;D

;D



From the I Love Lucy ep I'm watching.....  "Magazine Interview" original airdate 2/8/54


Lucy thinks Ricky is having an affair (again) so she goes to confront the woman....but doesn't want to reveal who she is so she poses as a poll taker for magazine
LUCY: We're conducting a poll and we'd like to ask you some questions.
MINNIE FINCH: uh....say.....you're name ain't Kinsey is it?

1954!..... that's friggin hilarious and it only took me this long to catch the joke.

;D




wow, yeah, that's pretty late-night for a show that notoriously put a married couple in twin beds. :o

wow, yeah, that's pretty late-night for a show that notoriously put a married couple in twin beds. :o



Lucy & Ricky ALWAYS had a double bed-they were the first couple to do so-at Lucy's insistence. FYI for ya.



Cat

Lucy & Ricky ALWAYS had a double bed-they were the first couple to do so-at Lucy's insistence. FYI for ya.



Cat
oh really? what show am i thinking of?

oh really? what show am i thinking of?



Every other one. Dick Van Dyke, Ozzie & Harret, etc. etc.



Cat

Lucy & Ricky ALWAYS had a double bed-they were the first couple to do so-at Lucy's insistence. FYI for ya.



Cat



sorry Cat I hate to agree with Tia but check this out....  http://youtube.com/watch?v=AFLLw7JcU74


Lucy and Desi had twin beds but in some episodes the twin beds were pushed together but they were each separately made... I suppose so they wouldn't share sheets.

What makes the fact that the Kinsey joke made the cut was the fact that in earlier episodes the censors would not allow them to say "Lucy's pregnant" 
They could say she was expecting, they could say she was having a baby and Ricky could sing We're having a baby, my baby and me. . .  but the P word was banned. 
As a result they titled the episode " Lucy is Enceinte"  enceinte means pregnant in Spanish. 

some show no one's ever heard of rtitled Mary Kay and Johnny is actually credited as the first show to depict a couple in a double bed.... don't know how they verify that tho since it was a Dupont Show that aired live and none of the recordings...if there were any to begin with have survived.... the show first aired in 1947 or 48


http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/marykay.asp


sorry again Cat.

sorry Cat I hate to agree with Tia but check this out....  http://youtube.com/watch?v=AFLLw7JcU74


Lucy and Desi had twin beds but in some episodes the twin beds were pushed together but they were each separately made... I suppose so they wouldn't share sheets.

What makes the fact that the Kinsey joke made the cut was the fact that in earlier episodes the censors would not allow them to say "Lucy's pregnant" 
They could say she was expecting, they could say she was having a baby and Ricky could sing We're having a baby, my baby and me. . .  but the P word was banned. 
As a result they titled the episode " Lucy is Enceinte"  enceinte means pregnant in Spanish. 






Ok, I stand corrected.


Check this out:

http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/marykay.asp


Cat

hey wait snoz. why do you hate to agree with me?  ;D

actually I agree with you on some things.... like the awesomeness of kim richards so I guess what I meant to say was I hate to correct to Cat but she corrected me elsewhere so we're even now.


;) 

Ok, I stand corrected.


Check this out:

http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/marykay.asp


Cat



that's funny....while I was modifying my post to add that link you added it too...

great minds think alike! O0

actually I agree with you on some things.... like the awesomeness of kim richards so I guess what I meant to say was I hate to correct to Cat but she corrected me elsewhere so we're even now.


;) 



Moi? Correct you? I'm sure you must be mistaken.  ;) :D ;D ;D




that's funny....while I was modifying my post to add that link you added it too...

great minds think alike! O0




;D ;D ;D ;D


Cat

Moi? Correct you? I'm sure you must be mistaken.  ;) :D ;D ;D



;D ;D ;D ;D


Cat



It was the GH Inside Joke... I said Felicia when it was Lucy... you didn't know you were correcting me but ya did  ;)





New non-forum quote I just heard Gordon Ramsey tell someone on UK Kitchen Nightmares to "Change or Die!"  really are those the only options???  ;D

It was the GH Inside Joke... I said Felicia when it was Lucy... you didn't know you were correcting me but ya did  ;)




They could have done more than one inside joke about that-it wouldn't surprise me.





New non-forum quote I just heard Gordon Ramsey tell someone on UK Kitchen Nightmares to "Change or Die!"  really are those the only options???  ;D






My new non-forum quote-this was last week. I came home from doing a bit of shopping. I brought home a new cat toy for the cats and I told Carlos that it was made in the U.S. He said:

"We used to make cars. Now we make cat toys".  :-\\ :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat

Man:  Is it possible to see England from Canada?

Travel agent:  No.

Man:  But they look so close on the map.


conversation at a travel agency

Man:  Is it possible to see England from Canada?

Travel agent:  No.

Man:  But they look so close on the map.


conversation at a travel agency


LOL!!!

Classic.

LOL!!!

Classic.
agreed. a friend left that one on my desk for me today

Israel will always be a best friend to Israel.

--BHO

"It is said that listened for he cannot be heard; looked for he cannot be seen; felt he cannot be touched."

he is like a finger pointing away to the moon....

"Um… yeah. I’m not even sure how to approach that level of stupidity. Do you poke it with a stick? Set some sort of trap for it?"

Rice Cube to the boy right now:

"Get your car out of your underwear!"

"Sucks this movie does"  Richard Roeper (of Ebert & Roeper) on his review of the new Star Wars/clone wars film.


;D

"It's the sort of vague calm you get after vomiting---where the vomit itself is rather unpleasant, but when it's over, it brings a kind of strange peace".


Ben Affleck, when asked how it felt being out of the media's eye after his impending marriage to Jennifer Lopez broke up and ended

Lawyer: What about the research?

Witness: I don't think there is any research on that. There's a logical hunch that may be true, but i know of no research study that would support that.

Lawyer: What about just common sense?

Witness: Well, I'm not here using common sense. I'm here as an expert.


actual courtroom testimony

"Sucks this movie does"  Richard Roeper (of Ebert & Roeper) on his review of the new Star Wars/clone wars film.


;D



in speaking of hilarious movie pans, the post express today wrote, "if it were possible for a movie to drag its knuckles, 'death race' would leave eight tracks in the sand."

oh snap!

in speaking of hilarious movie pans, the post express today wrote, "if it were possible for a movie to drag its knuckles, 'death race' would leave eight tracks in the sand."

oh snap!



;D

Lawyer: What about the research?

Witness: I don't think there is any research on that. There's a logical hunch that may be true, but i know of no research study that would support that.

Lawyer: What about just common sense?

Witness: Well, I'm not here using common sense. I'm here as an expert.


actual courtroom testimony



Have you ever read Anguished English by Richard Lederer? There is also More Anguished English and a few others. He puts together a lot of court transcripts, insurance claims, newspaper articles, etc. I HIGHLY recommend all of them. Every time I read any of the books, I find myself laughing so hard that I am crying.



Cat

Have you ever read Anguished English by Richard Lederer? There is also More Anguished English and a few others. He puts together a lot of court transcripts, insurance claims, newspaper articles, etc. I HIGHLY recommend all of them. Every time I read any of the books, I find myself laughing so hard that I am crying.



Cat
no I haven't but I'll google it up and see what I find  :) 


...one of my supervisors at work last week

Marv: "all we can do is all we can do, and then it is what it is" 
me:  :-\\

I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can't play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it's called.


Democratic party Chairman Howard Dean, urging presidnet Bush to make public Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers's White House records.

;D


another one! "it's too easy to say 'Disaster Movie' deserves its title, but why put more effort into trashing it than the filmmakers did into writing it?"

damn! translation: "your movie sucked so bad i'm not even gonna pan it."  :o

another one! "it's too easy to say 'Disaster Movie' deserves its title, but why put more effort into trashing it than the filmmakers did into writing it?"

damn! translation: "your movie sucked so bad i'm not even gonna pan it."  :o


oh that's too awesome!

oh that's too awesome!


i like to read the onion reviews every week and this has been a good one for kickass savage movie reviews, what with disaster movie, college and babylon a.d. all daring to suck on the same day.  8)

Me to Mike -

"Oh dude, I look at so much nasty porno, anarchistic weapons journals and far left and far right agit prop I'm probably a keyword in the NSA's Echelon system."

You can expect Bobby to be Bobby. If Bobby ain't Bobby, then Bobby just can't be Bobby.

singer Bobby Brown

"If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging."

Ken Livingstone on Gordon Brown.

Elizabeth yesterday: "Mum, I don't mean to tell you your job or anything but have you noticed my laundry needs doing?"

Elizabeth yesterday: "Mum, I don't mean to tell you your job or anything but have you noticed my laundry needs doing?"



oh no she didn't!    ;D

Elizabeth yesterday: "Mum, I don't mean to tell you your job or anything but have you noticed my laundry needs doing?"
I like that kid  ;D    that is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I'd give her extra allowance just for making  me laugh

I like that kid   ;D    that is the funniest thing I've heard all day. I'd give her extra allowance just for making  me laugh


Allowance - what's that?  :-\\

Allowance - what's that?  :-\\


Allowance is weekly money some people give there kids for the simple act of being born.  Some give it to them for weekly chores. 

Allowance is weekly money some people give there kids for the simple act of being born.  Some give it to them for weekly chores. 


I know - I meant I don't give my kids any!

maybe I should have added a  ;D

I know - I meant I don't give my kids any!

maybe I should have added a  ;D


I'm with you! The reason the economy is tanking is because too many people got money for nothing.

I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is , is, like, French-- I didn't see anything because I wasn't in America.

Paris Hilton

I get five dollars a week for doing chores.

The downside is now I have to pay for everything I get. :P

from my friend in one of those "getting to know you" emails

46. What is under your bed?  a Bayonet    ;D

from my friend in one of those "getting to know you" emails

46. What is under your bed?  a Bayonet    ;D



everyone should have one!

everyone should have one!


I know. I was thinking I want one!!!

"You wanna see my gaping hole?"

--my wife

I just uttered 6 words I NEVER thought I'd hear myself say:

Sh!t!  I gotta go watch TV...  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/04/eek2.gif

Me to our 5 year old granddaughter: Why are you jumping all over me?
Her: Because you're more funner than he is (pointing to Carlos).  :D ;D ;D ;D




Cat

Me to our 5 year old granddaughter: Why are you jumping all over me?
Her: Because you're more funner than he is (pointing to Carlos).  :D ;D ;D ;D




Cat


;D

Rice Cube to the boy:  "Sit down and watch the movie and shush!"

Jason:  "Don't you shush me!"

;D  How funny.

Carlos to a trick-or-treater: What are you supposed to be?
Trick-or-treater: A trailer park trash princess.




Cat

Carlos to a trick-or-treater: What are you supposed to be?
Trick-or-treater: A trailer park trash princess.




Cat


;D

watching the commentary for the remake of Prom Night. 

Brittany Snow as the credits roll...

I hope teenagers don't watch this and think it will happen on their prom night.


Yes, yes Brittany because every high school in America has at least one teenage girl who is being stalked by the psychotic teacher who slaughtered her family sophomore year.  ::)

"I smell like beef and fat!"

...and the day's just begun.  ROFLcopter.

"I smell like beef and fat!"

...and the day's just begun.  ROFLcopter.


What?  I did. :P ;D

What?  I did. :P ;D


I'm not really sure on how fat smells?

"I smell like beef and fat!"

...and the day's just begun.  ROFLcopter.



that's funny.... so do I.  ;D

Mmmm...hamburger.

I'm sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She's looking like a rock scientist.

actress Tara Reid

Mmmm...hamburger.


That's weird. I just came from an In N Out Burger site to this.

Newlywed Game host Bob Eubanks:
What was the first thing you said to your husband on your wedding night?

Female contestant:  Uh, gosh...that's a hard one.  Oh, wait, I don't mean THAT!

Newlywed Game host Bob Eubanks:
What was the first thing you said to your husband on your wedding night?

Female contestant:  Uh, gosh...that's a hard one.  Oh, wait, I don't mean THAT!





;D

"look, there isn't any correlation between engine size and penis size. If there were, I'd have a smaller car."

"look, there isn't any correlation between engine size and penis size. If there were, I'd have a smaller car."


;D

James got a free toy from a cereal packet at the weekend.  It was one of the penguins rom the Madagascar movies.  The one called Private.

He had the toy with him on Sunday and was playing with it whilst we waited for some friends.  James announced loudly "When Megan comes I'm going to show her my Private".  thankfully he only has one of these toys!

James got a free toy from a cereal packet at the weekend.  It was one of the penguins rom the Madagascar movies.  The one called Private.

He had the toy with him on Sunday and was playing with it whilst we waited for some friends.  James announced loudly "When Megan comes I'm going to show her my Private".  thankfully he only has one of these toys!



That reminds me of something one of my sisters said years ago. She collects the toys you get with Happy Meals at McDonalds. I don't know how many she has but she used to keep them all in her bedroom until she had too many that she had to move out of her bedroom.  :D :D


Anyway, my niece started dating this guy and was bring him home to meet my sister for the first time. My sister was about to ask him "Do you want to come into my bedroom to see my toys?" Luckily she didn't for my niece's sake. But it was still funny.



Cat

James got a free toy from a cereal packet at the weekend.  It was one of the penguins rom the Madagascar movies.  The one called Private.

He had the toy with him on Sunday and was playing with it whilst we waited for some friends.  James announced loudly "When Megan comes I'm going to show her my Private".  thankfully he only has one of these toys!



;D

That reminds me of something one of my sisters said years ago. She collects the toys you get with Happy Meals at McDonalds. I don't know how many she has but she used to keep them all in her bedroom until she had too many that she had to move out of her bedroom.  :D :D


Anyway, my niece started dating this guy and was bring him home to meet my sister for the first time. My sister was about to ask him "Do you want to come into my bedroom to see my toys?" Luckily she didn't for my niece's sake. But it was still funny.



Cat
He-He!!

Earlier I was trying to teach Jason the difference between man and woman bits.  This is the conversation that ensued:

Me: "So Jason, a man has something called a penis.  Can you say that?"

Jason: "Peanuts!"

(Rice in background, laughing hysterically)

Me: "A woman has something called a vagina.  Can you say that?"

Jason: "Jagina!"

(Rice is rolling on the floor by this time)

Me: "So what does Daddy have?"

Jason: "Peanuts!"

Me: "And what does Mommy have?"

Jason: "Gagina!"

At this point, Rice and I were both crying tears of laughter and I had to stop the anatomy lesson.

PEANUTS!!!  ROFLCOPTER

too funny!  ;D

Rice's laughing is the best part.

I don't remember my mom teaching me about that, it was so long ago...

I am glad she did, though, I don't feel awkward about saying penis oir vagina, like some people I know.

Earlier I was trying to teach Jason the difference between man and woman bits.  This is the conversation that ensued:

Me: "So Jason, a man has something called a penis.  Can you say that?"

Jason: "Peanuts!"

(Rice in background, laughing hysterically)

Me: "A woman has something called a vagina.  Can you say that?"

Jason: "Jagina!"

(Rice is rolling on the floor by this time)

Me: "So what does Daddy have?"

Jason: "Peanuts!"

Me: "And what does Mommy have?"

Jason: "Gagina!"

At this point, Rice and I were both crying tears of laughter and I had to stop the anatomy lesson.
;D  that's too cute and was a good laugh


Lady Di looking in the fridge:  "where's the cranberry jelly"?

Julie: "up your butt"

Singer Britney Spears: I''m really geting into Indian religion.

Interviewer:  Do you practice Hinduisim?

Britney:  What's that? Is it like Kabbalah?

If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit.

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: Yeah, my phone's locked and I can't get it unlocked.
Tech: Well, what exactly happened?
Customer: I dunno, just suddenly the screen said Press menu followed by #.
Tech. So did you try that?
Customer: Try what?
Tech: Pressing menu followed by #.

(pause)

Customer: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU FIXED MY CELL PHONE! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

actual call to tech-support line

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: Yeah, my phone's locked and I can't get it unlocked.
Tech: Well, what exactly happened?
Customer: I dunno, just suddenly the screen said Press menu followed by #.
Tech. So did you try that?
Customer: Try what?
Tech: Pressing menu followed by #.

(pause)

Customer: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YOU FIXED MY CELL PHONE! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

actual call to tech-support line


That sounds like a day here at work!


Here's mine:

Email at 2:02
Everyone please check that you have the latest microsoft updates.  We will be working on the server after 9pm and we ask that you all log off and shut down by then.  Please check for updates, install and re-start now.

Email at 2:04  (of course, this appears after we all restart)
Check for updates but DON'T INSTALL THE 3 PACK!  Instead, do a custom install....

When I was outside this morning, my neighbor who runs a daycare came walking by with about 3 or 4 kids-all about 4 years old or so. One sees me, waves and says, "Hey, Babe."



Cat

When I was outside this morning, my neighbor who runs a daycare came walking by with about 3 or 4 kids-all about 4 years old or so. One sees me, waves and says, "Hey, Babe."



Cat



Guess you look like a "Hot Mama" to the kiddies Cat.




Kiddie Cat  ;D

That sounds like a day here at work!


Here's mine:

Email at 2:02
Everyone please check that you have the latest microsoft updates.  We will be working on the server after 9pm and we ask that you all log off and shut down by then.  Please check for updates, install and re-start now.

Email at 2:04  (of course, this appears after we all restart)
Check for updates but DON'T INSTALL THE 3 PACK!  Instead, do a custom install....
so the new setup worked out ok  ??? 


When I was outside this morning, my neighbor who runs a daycare came walking by with about 3 or 4 kids-all about 4 years old or so. One sees me, waves and says, "Hey, Babe."



Cat
that is too cute.  maybe they heard Carlos call you that and they thought that was your name  ::)

My sister on the phone last night.

"We aren't doing up Christmas too much this year. We only put up four trees".  :o :o :o


(Last year, they put up SEVEN trees. :o :o :o :o )



Cat

My sister on the phone last night.

"We aren't doing up Christmas too much this year. We only put up four trees".  :o :o :o


(Last year, they put up SEVEN trees. :o :o :o :o )



Cat



wtf?  ???


One in each room? bathrooms too?

wtf?   ???


One in each room? bathrooms too?


Maybe some outside?

If I had the inclination I could probably do three trees here.

wtf?   ???


One in each room? bathrooms too?



They have a HUGE house. This was the house that my cousins grew up in-they used to have a pool table in their bedroom.  :o :o :o (You saw some photos of the house.)



Cat

They have a HUGE house. This was the house that my cousins grew up in-they used to have a pool table in their bedroom.  :o :o :o (You saw some photos of the house.)



Cat


yeah it was big It's just 7 trees is a lot but please I can't be bothered to put up one so you know 7 would be like torture for me  ;)

yeah it was big It's just 7 trees is a lot but please I can't be bothered to put up one so you know 7 would be like torture for me  ;)



To be fair, my sister did say that one of the trees was a miniature. How small? I have no idea.



Cat

A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging me every time I tried to leave the house to go to my car.


excuse used by employee, calling in sick to their workplace

This was a couple of weeks ago which I forgot to post:

5 year old granddaughter looking at Carlos' stomach: "Do you have a baby in there, too?" (Carlos' youngest is pregnant.)



Cat

This was a couple of weeks ago which I forgot to post:

5 year old granddaughter looking at Carlos' stomach: "Do you have a baby in there, too?" (Carlos' youngest is pregnant.)



Cat
;D  that made me chuckle. 

;D  that made me chuckle. 



I was rolling on the floor when she said it.



Cat

I was rolling on the floor when she said it.



Cat
yeah, I would have too. that must have too cute and funny. did Carlos laugh

yeah, I would have too. that must have too cute and funny. did Carlos laugh



Yeah, he did. I also asked him if it would be ok to post that. He said it is-which is why I posted it. He does have a sense of humor.



Cat

"Well if your vagina fell out, it wouldn’t be so bad would it?? You could carry your purse in the erm…. ‘void’ and you could wear your vagina as a hat. You know, like the hats that have those big droopy ear flaps."

http://thebloggess.com/?p=964

Whilst I was at a shop counter being served some woman walked behind me.  As she went past she said something along the lines of "My mum told Kevin I look stupid walking along talking to myself".

I think she was chatting to someone using a blu-tooth.  :-\\

John(12:44:36): disturbing image warning, ------was on my lunch stroll got behind woman in white pants one word only sufficient "cellulite" !!!!!!!!!   

Michael(12:45:09): big curd?   

John(12:45:50): yes, worst image in at least 5 years , in motion it was even worse, 

Michael(12:51:57): did you throw up

John(12:52:34): came real close

Jason: "Daddy has peanuts."
(at which point he tries to smack them, but Rice tells him no)

*walks over to me*

Jason: "Mommy has jagina." (points)

(brief pause)

Jason: "Do you like that, Daddy?"

That was truly a, "WTF?" moment.

Jason: "Daddy has peanuts."
(at which point he tries to smack them, but Rice tells him no)

*walks over to me*

Jason: "Mommy has jagina." (points)

(brief pause)

Jason: "Do you like that, Daddy?"

That was truly a, "WTF?" moment.



and the pimp daddy playa strikes again!

;D

John(12:44:36): disturbing image warning, ------was on my lunch stroll got behind woman in white pants one word only sufficient "cellulite" !!!!!!!!!   

Michael(12:45:09): big curd?   

John(12:45:50): yes, worst image in at least 5 years , in motion it was even worse, 

Michael(12:51:57): did you throw up

John(12:52:34): came real close
those have got to be the weirdest bible verses ever!  :o

Jason: "Daddy has peanuts."
(at which point he tries to smack them, but Rice tells him no)

*walks over to me*

Jason: "Mommy has jagina." (points)

(brief pause)

Jason: "Do you like that, Daddy?"

That was truly a, "WTF?" moment.


;D  And what did you say?

^ We were both shocked and amused.

Here's one from the ESPN Sports Guy...

I watched the Colts-Bolts game just a few hours after seeing "Marley and Me" and can confirm the following because I stared at her for two hours on a 60-foot screen: Jennifer Aniston looks like Tony Dungy. I am now convinced this is why Brad Pitt dumped her. He was probably watching a Colts game in HD and got freaked out.

those have got to be the weirdest bible verses ever!  :o
that's funny ;D    and yes, they're from  The Newer Testament

^ We were both shocked and amused.

Here's one from the ESPN Sports Guy...

I watched the Colts-Bolts game just a few hours after seeing "Marley and Me" and can confirm the following because I stared at her for two hours on a 60-foot screen: Jennifer Aniston looks like Tony Dungy. I am now convinced this is why Brad Pitt dumped her. He was probably watching a Colts game in HD and got freaked out.



that just aint right.

Andrew: "where does Ho & Hom sit"?

me: Hom sits right there in that desk & I'm not sure when Ho sits but I think it's in one of those 3 desks.

Andrew: she's that short one with the black hair, right?

me:  there's about 10 of them that meet that description

Andrew: now be nice mike  ::)

From the ESPN Sports Guy's mailbag...

Q: If I had sex with the two-faced lady from the Southwest Airlines commercial, would I be able to count that as a threesome?
-- Pete, Beacon, N.Y.

SG: I would say no. But you'd still have the single greatest sex story of all time, even better than the time a friend of mine took home a Hall of Fame '70s TV babe and made sweet love to her even though she was in her late 50s and the year was 2007. That's my favorite sex story currently. But being with the two-faced Southwest Airlines lady? Legendary! Could not be topped unless you also included the three-breasted lady from "Total Recall," giving you a creepy threesome with five breasts and three faces.

Liza Minnelli on the View after doctors told her she might not be able to talk again...

I practiced... I began to count "A, B, C...."    ;D

Liza Minnelli on the View after doctors told her she might not be able to talk again...

I practiced... I began to count "A, B, C...."    ;D
haha!

in defense of liza (because she's FABULOUS!) i do that sometimes. "yeah, type in the number A, er, i mean letter, and then the letter 1. i mean, oh, fudge it, you know what i mean."

of course the sixties were kind to me. and i wasn't even there.

haha!

in defense of liza (because she's FABULOUS!) i do that sometimes. "yeah, type in the number A, er, i mean letter, and then the letter 1. i mean, oh, fudge it, you know what i mean."

of course the sixties were kind to me. and i wasn't even there.


;D

My step-daughter, granddaughter, step-son's girlfriend, & Carlos were making a mobile for the new baby. My step-daughter told our 5 year old granddaughter to lay on the floor to see how it looks. The 5 year old said that she wasn't going to lie on the floor but was going to lie on the couch. My step-son's girlfriend said to Carlos & me: "I'm a princess-HELLO!!"

Telling jokes at dinner last night:
5 year old: Knock, knock.
Step-son: Who's there?
5 year old: Orange.
Step-son: Orange who?
5 year old: Knock, knock.
Step-son: Who's there?
5 year old: Orange.
Step-son: Orange who?
5 year old: Knock, knock.
Step-son: Who's there?
5 year old: Orange.
Step-son: Orange who?
5 year old: Knock, knock.
Step-son: Who's there?
5 year old: Banana.
Step-son: Banana who?
5 year old: Banana you glad I didn't say orange.


:D ;D ;D ;D



Cat 

"I like rice. It's great when you are hungry and you want, like, 2000 of something."

seen below supervisors name on company messaging system

Jason, why did you decapitate Mario?

--sez da wife.

Jason, why did you decapitate Mario?

--sez da wife.


As a continuation...

Jason, the Joker doesn't belong in the tundra!

LAWLZ.

Keep Out!
Trespassers Will Be Violated!

sign by a gas station in Wareenville, Ill.




"I'm really antifur and my daughter is as well,,,but leather? I'm rock. I have to do leather"

Courtney Love

info on cough medicne label:  "with expectorant, to make your cough more productive" 


so basically it's a nice way of saying that when you cough, you'll be horking up ungodly amounts of mucous & flim  :-\\

this just happened
...me in computer room, Diane in bedroom watching tv and

she yells at me: "I love cleaning squid" 

me: what? who's cleaning squid?

Diane. "not cleaning squid".  I love Clint Eastwood!  he's on tv in a cop show ramming a car into the cafe because the crooks wanted a getaway car

this just happened
...me in computer room, Diane in bedroom watching tv and

she yells at me: "I love cleaning squid"   

me: what? who's cleaning squid?

Diane. "not cleaning squid".  I love Clint Eastwood!  he's on tv in a cop show ramming a car into the cafe because the crooks wanted a getaway car



;D



that happens to me a lot

Lady Di & Jule's watching a movie right now

me:  so how's he able to do that?  as I'm watching Robert Pattinson miraculously jump from tree to tree and climb trees with a girl on his back.
Di: because he's a vampire.
me: oh....so that's what Twilight is about  :o 


so am I the only one that did not know that?

Lady Di & Jule's watching a movie right now

me:   so how's he able to do that?   as I'm watching Robert Pattinson miraculously jump from tree to tree and climb trees with a girl on his back.
Di: because he's a vampire.
me: oh....so that's what Twilight is about  :o  


so am I the only one that did not know that?


It could've been Spider-Man eh.

It could've been Spider-Man eh.
I did not see any webs and he was getting up that tree fast. anyways, it was getting too intense for me. the bad vampire wanted  to suck his giorlfriends blood.

Lady Di & Jule's watching a movie right now

me:   so how's he able to do that?   as I'm watching Robert Pattinson miraculously jump from tree to tree and climb trees with a girl on his back.
Di: because he's a vampire.
me: oh....so that's what Twilight is about  :o   


so am I the only one that did not know that?


yes you are...  ;D


Where have you been? Tam has been talking about Twilight non stop since before Christmas  ;D

erin and ash too... but mostly Tam  ;)