owned  ;D


hahaha...yes, so totally. ;D

so, my boobs have been what seems like the topic of conversation around the house for the past 2 days. :D ;D


Yesterday, I was downloading and listening to music on the computer....

Me: (listening to Dolly Parton..and talking to Chris) I don't know why....but I just LOVE Dolly Parton lately....I am just obsessed with her music.

Chris: Ya, it's because you are growing boobs like her. ??? :o :D


Then today Vaughn started talking silly and with "potty humor"....and he was saying the word "boobs"


Me: (jokingly) Haha....one day you are gonna grow big boobs Vaughn
Vaughn:  hahaha...ya, like yours?
Me: No...I don't have any
Vaughn: Then what are those hills on your chest? :o ??? :D

I feel so...violated. ;D


You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 

You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 





kids are crazy! ;D

hahaha...yes, so totally. ;D
I love that crazy kid  ;D


You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 


  I love those 2 kids as well. they're just mimicking daddy  ;D

that's weird, I think i just had a memory that I used to smack my mom on the butt  :o 

You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 




I'd like to grab a boob anytime. ;D ;)

You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 


i actually have a memory of doing this. i was probably like four or something.

i actually have a memory of doing this. i was probably like four or something.


That's a bit eerie.

i actually have a memory of doing this. i was probably like four or something.



and you just grabbed a boob? ;D

i actually have a memory of doing this. i was probably like four or something.

Yeah, well they are three and four, so that sounds about right.

Yeah, well they are three and four, so that sounds about right.


I wonder If I remember that I grabbed a boob when I was 4 years old? ;D

From ESPN.com's Page 2 TMQ:

Why the Estate Tax Helps You Live Longer: I just heard a radio commercial for the Accuquote life insurance service which declared, "We guarantee your money back even if you don't die." If I don't die? Sign me up, and you can keep my money! On this subject, Congress continues to debate whether the estate tax will go out of existence in 2010 as currently scheduled, then come back into existence in 2011. Today the first $2 million of an estate is exempt from taxation, meaning only about one estate in 100 is taxed. In 2009 the exemption rises to $3.5 million and fewer estates will be taxed. In 2010 there will be no estate tax. Then in 2011 the tax would return with a lower threshold than today, imposed on any estate above $1 million. This goofy schedule is the result of legislative sausage-making during a tax-cut bill a few years ago. What this boils down to: from now till 2009, death is lightly taxed; then in 2010, not taxed; then in 2011, heavily taxed. Economic theory holds that society gets less of whatever it taxes. That's why taxes on income and capital should be as low as possible (so we don't discourage labor or investment) while taxes on pollution and energy use should be as high as possible (we want less of these things). Therefore taxing death is good

Jess to Rice, when propositioned for sex tonight:

"Why don't you just go watch some porn?"

Ouch.

Jess to Rice, when propositioned for sex tonight:

"Why don't you just go watch some porn?"

Ouch.



http://soulstar.blogsome.com/images/Daaaaaaaam.jpg



Holy sh*t, Rice. 

Eh, she was tired. 

So now my computer has even more spyware and crap on it and will probably explode tomorrow :D

Eh, she was tired. 

So now my computer has even more spyware and crap on it and will probably explode tomorrow :D




R.I.P. Rice's computer. 

Jess to Rice, when propositioned for sex tonight:

"Why don't you just go watch some porn?"

Ouch.
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_Rq1LnMlF780AF1ijzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=123hbrko2/EXP=1170927051/**http%3A//www.nalsofmichigan.org/images/Denied.jpg

Jess to Rice, when propositioned for sex tonight:

"Why don't you just go watch some porn?"

Ouch.


http://smilies.vidahost.com/ups/budaz/jerk.gif

I know I shouldn't laugh, but I totally understand.  So here goes... http://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif

^ Silence, Muttly :P ;)

i actually have a memory of doing this. i was probably like four or something.


You had boobs when you were four!?

In my defense, I wasn't feeling good. Rice has the wonderful habit of asking for some when I'm either 1. tired or 2. sick. ;D

In my defense, I wasn't feeling good. Rice has the wonderful habit of asking for some when I'm either 1. tired or 2. sick. ;D



such timing these men have, huh? :D ;D

such timing these men have, huh? :D ;D


Hey, I don't ask at all! >=O *Grmbmdlfjlakdmmdbmbmb*

Hey, I don't ask at all! >=O *Grmbmdlfjlakdmmdbmbmb*



well, aren't you lucky. :D

well, aren't you lucky. :D


*Nods* Women... who needs 'em!?

... Heh... kidding!

*Nods* Women... who needs 'em!?

... Heh... kidding!




No, you're not.

No, you're not.


Eh!?

http://soulstar.blogsome.com/images/Daaaaaaaam.jpg


My single favorite online image.

Jess to Rice, when propositioned for sex tonight:

"Why don't you just go watch some porn?"

Ouch.



watching it is better than DOING it. ;D

You had boobs when you were four!?


No girl could have boobs at 4. ::)

No girl could have boobs at 4. ::)


Don't underestimate the power of the growth hormone.

No girl could have boobs at 4. ::)



All humans have breasts.  However young girls don't develop breast tissue until they hit puberty.

watching it is better than DOING it. ;D


About 99% of the population would disagree with that statement.

About 99% of the population would disagree with that statement.



Just 99?

Just 99?


Alright, let's go with 99.999%. Some people actually don't like sex or they're beliefs make them think it's bad or something.

watching it is better than DOING it. ;D


... you are a lazy man aren't you Howard.

... you are a lazy man aren't you Howard.


Yeah,You could say that. ;)

"Jack? Is your mom a big fat idiot?" House

"Jack? Is your mom a big fat idiot?" House


HA,That's funny. ;D

"Jack? Is your mom a big fat idiot?" House


Ahhh, I saw that last night!

Yeah,You could say that. ;)


This explains things.

Alright, let's go with 99.999%. Some people actually don't like sex or they're beliefs make them think it's bad or something.


We call them Dominic.

We call them Dominic.


Well when you have a metal plate instead of a crotch, that's bound to happen.

"I believe that there is real magic in life. Sometimes the experience of it can be dependent on one's point of view,"  "I have come to see the making of art as the search for that point of view where the magic and wonder of life appears not so much as an illusion, but as an essential truth that often gets obscured." - Rob Gonsalves

This explains things.



explains what?

We call them Dominic.


Except I don't like to watch it, either.

Except I don't like to watch it, either.
one day you will  :)

one day you will  :)


>=O Nu!

>=O Nu!
not even Panda porn  ???

You're not alone on this.  My kids want to grab my boobs any chance they get...even if it's just a shot at my nipple, they'll take it. ;D 




My son does this and usually he'll say at the top of his lungs..."Mommy, is that your nibble?" Yes, he calls them nibbles.   :D

not even Panda porn  ???


No... Do YOU enjoy watching panda porn more than having sex?

No... Do YOU enjoy watching panda porn more than having sex?
NO,  I watch it during

NO,  I watch it during


But do you enjoy it? Because it seems like you do, since you're so surprised I don't! :P

But do you enjoy it? Because it seems like you do, since you're so surprised I don't! :P
you don't know whether you do or not. that's like brussel sprouts. I can say I don't like them, but I've never eaten one, so I can't factually say I don't like them because I've never experienced one. for all I know, I may like brussel sprouts. panda porn does nothing for humans, but helps in the procreation of itty bitty pandas.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" -Me, after Rice Cube told me he had a dream about me running off with Ricky Martin or Gerardo....he's not sure which.

I've discovered that if you confide enough in Smarterchild, he can regurgitate all you've told him if you just give him the word.  Notice how uncomfortable he seems talking about music.

Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
the meat puppets.

talking about music u like is a lot of fun, but let's move on. what else can we talk about?
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
Music.
- SmarterChild says:
music is a great art form.

speaking of music, take a look at this: 1000s of Ringtones - Download ringtones to your phone. Get them complimentary now! --> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1074807779/5 (sponsorship)
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
hmm... u really like modest mouse.

let's talk about something besides music u like...

>>> type "calculator help" 2 c a list of sample calculations i can perform.
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
u really like metallica, offspring, bob marley...

anyway, what else u got for me?
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
neutral milk hotel!

i guess we could talk about music u like all day long, but it's time 2 move on...
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
hmmm lemme c... the flaming lips, bad religion, beck... those r some of your favorite musicians.

>>> i can't do your homework for u, but i can help. type "homework."
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What are my favorite bands?
- SmarterChild says:
hmm... u really like radiohead.
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
What bands do I like?
- SmarterChild says:
depeche mode.

enough about music u like... let's move on.

Dude, how did it know your music?

No... Do YOU enjoy watching panda porn more than having sex?


I enjoy watching sex instead

"The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said "That's a pretty big word for a 6-year old!"

This guy at work said that the other day...

"The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said "That's a pretty big word for a 6-year old!"

This guy at work said that the other day...
nice!

"rug burns hurt more on sunburn"

a friend on vacation

"The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said "That's a pretty big word for a 6-year old!"

This guy at work said that the other day...


That is SO friggin funny. It took me a second to get it, though.

That is SO friggin funny. It took me a second to get it, though.


Same here.

Dude, how did it know your music?


I told it a bunch of bands I like.

I told it a bunch of bands I like.


I got it to know mine, but... MAN, every single time, it'd say I'm the first person to ever have mentioned every band in the world... Except for Ween, to which he responded "Other ppl I have talked 2 seem to like Ween 2."

... Why is it that he's heard about Ween, but not Gary Numan?

I got it to know mine, but... MAN, every single time, it'd say I'm the first person to ever have mentioned every band in the world... Except for Ween, to which he responded "Other ppl I have talked 2 seem to like Ween 2."

... Why is it that he's heard about Ween, but not Gary Numan?


Dude, I was wondering why no one else likes The Offspring or Depeche Mode or Bob Marley...those are all some fairly popular artists.

Dude, I was wondering why no one else likes The Offspring or Depeche Mode or Bob Marley...those are all some fairly popular artists.


It told me no one likes Metallica.

"How You Doin"- Norbit  ;D

"The other day, my girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said "That's a pretty big word for a 6-year old!"

This guy at work said that the other day...



So his son said that? :o

:-S

So his son said that? :o


.. no...

.. no...



I just thought his son said that.

Marsh "I shot the sheriff AND the deputy!"" says:
hey you
- SmarterChild says:
Hey, welcome back. It's been a few days since we chatted... Hope you're doing well.

Don't forget to type "home" to see everything I can do.
Marsh "I shot the sheriff AND the deputy!"" says:
Shit, thought it was like yesterday
- SmarterChild says:
was like yesterday? shit thought it?

Friend #1 (talking about the expectant snow storm they are predicting) "If I see on flake of snow tomorrow morning, I'm not coming in."

Friend #2 "I'll go over to your house, stand in front of the window and wave-just so you WILL see a flake."




Cat

co-worker to the other co-worker this morning.

co-worker #1: "looks like New Orleans had a tornado, and could be hit with more hurricanes this year"
co-worker #2:  "we need to be careful, I mean we're right here on the San Francisco bay, near the water"
co-worker #1: "we don't get those here, you know that right? we don't have hurricanes"
co-worker #2: "oh yeah, well hey,  they need to build some sort of huge device to put in the ocean that would blow the wind the other way. maybe some big ship with some sort of device or machine to do something about these hurricanes" 


:o

co-worker to the other co-worker this morning.

co-worker #1: "looks like New Orleans had a tornado, and could be hit with more hurricanes this year"
co-worker #2:  "we need to be careful, I mean we're right here on the San Francisco bay, near the water"
co-worker #1: "we don't get those here, you know that right? we don't have hurricanes"
co-worker #2: "oh yeah, well hey,  they need to build some sort of huge device to put in the ocean that would blow the wind the other way. maybe some big ship with some sort of device or machine to do something about these hurricanes" 


:o



The story not told is that Badfinger Fan restrained himself from slapping the stupidity out of coworker #2.

co-worker to the other co-worker this morning.

co-worker #1: "looks like New Orleans had a tornado, and could be hit with more hurricanes this year"
co-worker #2:  "we need to be careful, I mean we're right here on the San Francisco bay, near the water"
co-worker #1: "we don't get those here, you know that right? we don't have hurricanes"
co-worker #2: "oh yeah, well hey,  they need to build some sort of huge device to put in the ocean that would blow the wind the other way. maybe some big ship with some sort of device or machine to do something about these hurricanes" 


:o

http://www.freedomdomain.com/weather.html

http://www.freedomdomain.com/weather.html
what is this? I can't access it from work?


The story not told is that Badfinger Fan restrained himself from slapping the stupidity out of coworker #2.
I am not a violent man unless provoked, but this one could be the exception. for sure.

what is this? I can't access it from work?
that's because THEY won't let you.

it's a web site about nikolas tesla, the air force, a mysterious array of radio antennas in alaska, and weather control.

that's because THEY won't let you.

it's a web site about nikolas tesla, the air force, a mysterious array of radio antennas in alaska, and weather control.
i found a site that talked about HAARP, GWEN, ELF,  pretty trippy stuff.  of course now we have you, Tia, our Science guru and the Vulcan Rice Cube to keep us illuminated concerning weather control.    & Tesla rocks !  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/10/ylsuper.gif

gwen towers! yeah dude. no one i talk to has ever heard of gwen towers. which is just how they want it.

Marsh "I shot the sheriff AND the deputy!"" says (2:57 PM):
Seinfeld would say something like, "Sometimes I stay up real late...and that's Night Guy.  And all Night Guy thinks about is screwing over Morning Guy.  Because when Morning Guy comes around, he's groggy and wondering what is going on and he thinks, 'Damn you, Night Guy!'  The only thing he can do to retaliate is to stay in bed and not do anything to throw Afternoon Guy off."
Marsh "I shot the sheriff AND the deputy!"" says (2:57 PM):
Dane Cook's version would be like..
Marsh "I shot the sheriff AND the deputy!"" says (2:58 PM):
Don't you hate it when you stay up REALLY late...and then your ALARM clock wakes you up?  And then you're all, "Screw this alarm clock!" and THROW IT AT THE WALL!

gwen towers! yeah dude. no one i talk to has ever heard of gwen towers. which is just how they want it.


You mean the Twin Towers?

You mean the Twin Towers?
http://educate-yourself.org/dc/gwentowersbybyronweeks.shtml

these guys think that cell phone towers are actually going to be used to trigger mind control waves to make the population docile and suggestible.

You mean the Twin Towers?



No, I think he's talking about Gwen Towers. 


My Non-Forum Quote Of The Day:


Me: So, what did your boyfriend get you for Valentine's Day?
Cara: The flu.
Me: What a caring man.
Cara: You know what they say, caring is sharing!

No, I think he's talking about Gwen Towers. 


My Non-Forum Quote Of The Day:


Me: So, what did your boyfriend get you for Valentine's Day?
Cara: The flu.
Me: What a caring man.
Cara: You know what they say, caring is sharing!


That's love for you.

This was actually yesterday during Technology class.

Teacher:  I don't know why the internet isn't working...
Cam:  The internet isn't working because Marsh keeps flirting with my girlfriend.
Teacher:  Well...that may be the problem.

This was actually yesterday during Technology class.

Teacher:  I don't know why the internet isn't working...
Cam:  The internet isn't working because Marsh keeps flirting with my girlfriend.
Teacher:  Well...that may be the problem.


Did you try the leg-rubbing thing like I told you?

If you do that, you might be able to disconnect people's cable.. then we'll move up to interfering with broadband and wireless networks.. and then, one day, you can act as a complete receptor-blocker for all signals.. radio, internet, cell phones.. and then we'll move in and rule the world like kings.. 75-25.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Is there a God?
- SmarterChild says:
i don't think there is a god. not at the moment anyway.



This is actually rather surprising, because SmarterChild always tends to back away from any kind of controversial issue.  Then again, he probably just comprehended "Is there a", so I could have said, "Is there a sponge?" and I would have gotten more or less the same response.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Sex.
- SmarterChild says:
i don't feel like talking about that.
If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Drugs.
- SmarterChild says:
illicit drugs do not interest me.
If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Rock and roll.
- SmarterChild says:
rock on.


Straightedger.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Is there a God?
- SmarterChild says:
i don't think there is a god. not at the moment anyway.



This is actually rather surprising, because SmarterChild always tends to back away from any kind of controversial issue.  Then again, he probably just comprehended "Is there a", so I could have said, "Is there a sponge?" and I would have gotten more or less the same response.



--    D o m s -- I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says (10:02 PM):
Is there a god?
- SmarterChild says (10:02 PM):
Is there a god? I don't know, what do you think?
--    D o m s -- I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says (10:02 PM):
Is there a sponge?
- SmarterChild says (10:02 PM):
I don't think there is a sponge.
--    D o m s -- I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says (10:02 PM):
Is there a God?
- SmarterChild says (10:02 PM):
I don't think there is a god right now.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
I had looked up "The Picture Of Dorian Gray" and it was listed as one of the last gothic horror stories, so I decided to read about Gothic Horror
If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
I find a lot of it fascinating
Freakygamer says:
ah! dorian gray, he has eternal life, a painting of him ages instead correct??
If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Yes!
Freakygamer says:
took me a while
If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away! says:
Where had you heard of him before?  Had you read the book?
Freakygamer says:
no, ive heard of him somewhere else, but dont remember the only thing i do remember is van helsing
Freakygamer says:
(that movie sucked)


I love this person, and the fact that she seemed to say this in all seriousness makes this my new favorite quote:  "The only thing I do remember is Van Helsing.  That movie sucked."

Fake Uncyclopedia quote:

"Everytime you kill God, a kitten masturbates."  -Friedrich Nietzsche

Cam:  This pickle tastes funny.
Chasity:  Your face is funny.
Cam:  Your butt is funny.
Chasity:  That's because it just came out of your mouth.
Cam:  *for the first time ever, speechless*

*laughter all across the table*

Cam:  ...damn.
Chasity:  ....Wait....WAIT!  I didn't mean my butt, I was talking about the pickle!  :o

from computer room, I hear Diane in bedroom watching tv:  "Ewwww, ewwww!  ???

Jess:  "There's porn in the drawer."

D'OH!

Jess:  "There's porn in the drawer."

D'OH!


So was there Rice?  ;D

Fake Uncyclopedia quote:

"Everytime you kill God, a kitten masturbates."  -Friedrich Nietzsche


I posted that whole article once.. it was great.

from computer room, I hear Diane in bedroom watching tv:  "Ewwww, ewwww!  ???




What was she watching?

Christian:  Cam, I bought you a nurse's outfit, and me a policeman's outfit.
Cam:  Sweet.
Me:  I'm gonna have to pull you over...
Cam:  ...for being so damn sexy.  I'm about to have to give you an injection...
Me:  ...and by "injection," I am referring specifically to my penis.
Cam:  I'm gonna have to write you up a ticke...for the way you work it!
Me:  You've got a prescription...for a mouthful of dick.


At this point, Cam laughed really hard while trying to keep his mouth closed which was full of cafeteria rice, while I laughed at the fact that he was laughing this way...at which point he couldn't hold it anymore and spewed forth rice, some of which landed in my mouth.

Cam:  Well, Marsh, if you say something funny, you've got to keep your mouth shut.

Talking to birthday boy here.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away!  says:
Have you painted the town red yet?
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Yes.
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
With my penis.

Talking to birthday boy here.

If I Had Arms, I Could Kill Myself...  If I Had Legs, I Could Run Away!   says:
Have you painted the town red yet?
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Yes.
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
With my penis.



Ohhhh, Marsh.... you only think sexual quotes are worth posting here. *Shakes head*

Ohhhh, Marsh.... you only think sexual quotes are worth posting here. *Shakes head*


Damn straight...unlike your sexuality.

ZING!

Damn straight...unlike your sexuality.

ZING!


Good boy.

Good boy.


I'll second this. Zing indeed.

" did you just pee on me? "



Last night I was laughing like crazy at soemthing...forget what.  and had to lean on my friend, who then tried her best to make me pee in my pants at the bar...so she said "did you just pee on me?" and that made me laugh more.  now i'm in uncontrollable pain.  i can't breathe and i am trying to tell her to stop.  "Sto-  sto...."  "What are  you saying! I can't understand you. You know I don't speak spanish!"  More laughter. Insane tears.  ugh, it went on for about 15 minutes.
My muscles still hurt!

- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Hey, choad!
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Or is it chode?

- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Hey, choad!
- D o m i n i c - I Don't Recall A Single Care,  Just Greenery And Humid Air says:
Or is it chode?


Okay. Is it just me, or does it seem like I'm only worth quoting when I say something related to sexual reproductive organs?

Okay. Is it just me, or does it seem like I'm only worth quoting when I say something related to sexual reproductive organs?
you're 16, i think it sorta goes with the territory.

Ah, 16... I miss those days... all 365 of them.

My son was getting ready to have a bath last night.  Top of his voice "You can see my willy, willy.  That's because I'm NAKED!"

My son was getting ready to have a bath last night.  Top of his voice "You can see my willy, willy.  That's because I'm NAKED!"



HA,HA!  ;D

Julie: "daddy, can I use the computer"?
me: "yeah, in a minute"

Hubby:  I help my friend move the entire contents of his apartment down three flights of stairs, I push an SUV off the road by myself and I feel fine,  and sneezing in the car is what causes my hernia to hurt!!  Go figure!  ;D

"My ass is too big......I need to stop smuggling drugs in my jeans." - Cara

Sometimes a dead slut is just as much trouble as an alive one - Erica (from All my Children)  My life is so damned interesting that I've taken to quoting soap opera characters now.  ::)

Sometimes a dead slut is just as much trouble as an alive one - Erica (from All my Children)   My life is so damned interesting that I've taken to quoting soap opera characters now.  ::)
I love and adore Erica (Susan Lucci) http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9G_Rq8Zge5F5e4AZw6jzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsMW5yM3VoBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTA2Nl84OA--/SIG=13qdba2gr/EXP=1173344921/**http%3A//us.a1.yahoofs.com/auc/3ZAvYKQ9NKBA/lisaspoavonwalk-img150x150-susanlucci.jpg%3FauAmqsLBGjiMWFyD

Sometimes a dead slut is just as much trouble as an alive one - Erica (from All my Children)  My life is so damned interesting that I've taken to quoting soap opera characters now.  ::)


To be fair, on any given soap, the line between dead and alive is so blurred that that's probably a very accurate statement.

Okay. Is it just me, or does it seem like I'm only worth quoting when I say something related to sexual reproductive organs?


Everything else you say is archaic and confusing..

Dom says "Would you like to go to a concert with me?" in Spanish: Not funny.

Dom says "But that's because Beth has a small dick.": Funny

Dom says just "Dick": Perfection

From the Latest Comments section of AmIWrong about a Debbie Gibson quiz set by Electric Youth

"hello debbie im your BIGGEST BIGGEST BIGGEST!!!!! fan and i think that you should start singing agian about start singing agian i forgot to enterduse myself my name is drake hood and i am 12 and i will be exsited when who send me back a messege and so ill send you a messege again okay bye bye."

Does Drake really think Debbie set the quiz?

The funniest thing about that quote is not that he thinks Debbie Gibson made the quiz, but that he spelled introduce as "enterduse."

The funniest thing about that quote is not that he thinks Debbie Gibson made the quiz, but that he spelled introduce as "enterduse."


I personally like the fact that it's all one big run-on, so it looks like he tried to say it all in one breath. XD

"My ass is too big......I need to stop smuggling drugs in my jeans." - Cara



So was she?

So was she?
most illogical, captain.

most illogical, captain.



Maybe she smuggled them somewhere else.

So was she?




...........................................................................



No Howard, she wasn't.  Why would I be friends with someone who deals in drug trafficking?

...........................................................................



No Howard, she wasn't.  Why would I be friends with someone who deals in drug trafficking?


Because.. you need large quantities of illegal substances?

Because.. you need large quantities of illegal substances?


Seriously, why did she even ask that? Isn't this kind of a given?

Because.. you need large quantities of illegal substances?



Sorry, you must have me confused with someone who does drugs.

Seriously, why did she even ask that? Isn't this kind of a given?


You'd think.

It must be a Chicago thing.

Maybe a drug trafficer is like.. some sort of.. code..for.. I dunno, maybe hot lesbian?

Jesus Christ this is pathetic. 

Jesus Christ this is pathetic. 


Allow me.

Jesus Christ - "This is pathetic."

I guess he was talking about the whole crucifixion thing??

No, I'm talking about this crap.

Allow me.

Jesus Christ - "This is pathetic."

I guess he was talking about the whole crucifixion thing??


I shouldn't have given you Karamel for that. ;D

No, I'm talking about this crap.


? I'm just kidding around with you.


I shouldn't have given you Karamel for that. ;D


My Mom always said "Don't encourage him."

My Mom always said "Don't encourage him."


But aren't you supposed to nurture and encourage your children?

? I'm just kidding around with you.


And as you can tell, I'm not in the mood to kid around.  My friend really wasn't smuggling drugs in her jeans, she just thought her ass looked fat.  She has a wacky sense of humor which obviously doesn't go over here.  You know my stance on drugs, so why keep going on about it? 



"This place smells." - my sister after my dad left the bathroom

And as you can tell, I'm not in the mood to kid around.  My friend really wasn't smuggling drugs in her jeans, she just thought her ass looked fat.  She has a wacky sense of humor which obviously doesn't go over here.  You know my stance on drugs, so why keep going on about it? 


I knooooow she was kidding.

I knooooow you don't do anything illegal.

I was kidding. I'm thinking this could be one of those 'two people seperated by a common language' moments.

But aren't you supposed to nurture and encourage your children?


She just hit me with stuff.

She just hit me with stuff.


That explains a lot.

Possibly.  Trust me, if Cara was a drug trafficker, I'd forget she existed very quickly.

My parents, for many reasons, never hit my sister and I when we were growing up.  I think above all, they were scared we'd hit back.

Possibly.  Trust me, if Cara was a drug trafficker, I'd forget she existed very quickly.


.. and I'd very quickly become friends with her.

Oh the tangled lives we lead.  ;D

That explains a lot.


Not.. all the time, just when I did bad stuff.

... all the time.


My parents, for many reasons, never hit my sister and I when we were growing up.  I think above all, they were scared we'd hit back.


See.. I'd never hit my Ma. I'd kill anybody that did.

See.. I'd never hit my Ma. I'd kill anybody that did.


I used to play punch my mom, but never actually hit her. I was too scared she'd knock my ass out. :o

I hit my dad ONCE, but it was deserved. He was piss drunk and acting like a total ass. So he called me "fat" for some reason, and I just hauled off and smacked the crap out of him. He was going to hit me back, but my mom told him that if he touched me, she'd have him arrested. That was the last time he got drunk.

Funny though....now we all get along fine.

I used to play punch my mom, but never actually hit her. I was too scared she'd knock my ass out. :o

I hit my dad ONCE, but it was deserved. He was piss drunk and acting like a total ass. So he called me "fat" for some reason, and I just hauled off and smacked the crap out of him. He was going to hit me back, but my mom told him that if he touched me, she'd have him arrested. That was the last time he got drunk.

Funny though....now we all get along fine.


It's customary to hit your Dad. Everyone does.

My old man (I guess, maybe like yours?) used to drink real heavily. Like.. I drink heavily.. but not every night. He'd get plastered as a matter of course.. so.. anyhow, I'm trying to take a piss, oh and I was about 15 when this happened, and he comes in, pushes me out of the way and starts yelling. I'm like "What the fudge?!!" then he grabs my arm and pulls it up behind my back so I grab the first thing at hand which was the towel rail. I yank it out of the wall and twat him with it. BANG! across the forehead. That ended that.. I moved out about 2 months after that.. we also get on great now.

It's customary to hit your Dad. Everyone does.

My old man (I guess, maybe like yours?) used to drink real heavily. Like.. I drink heavily.. but not every night. He'd get plastered as a matter of course.. so.. anyhow, I'm trying to take a piss, oh and I was about 15 when this happened, and he comes in, pushes me out of the way and starts yelling. I'm like "What the fudge?!!" then he grabs my arm and pulls it up behind my back so I grab the first thing at hand which was the towel rail. I yank it out of the wall and twat him with it. BANG! across the forehead. That ended that.. I moved out about 2 months after that.. we also get on great now.


Yeah, my dad would get totally wasted on weekends and holidays and act like a dick. After I hit him though, it stopped. And keep in mind that my dad is like 6'3" and an ex-Marine and outweighed me.

I get drunk on occasion...like I'm planning my binge on St. Patricks Day....Guinness all day long. Wheee!

Yeah, my dad would get totally wasted on weekends and holidays and act like a dick. After I hit him though, it stopped. And keep in mind that my dad is like 6'3" and an ex-Marine and outweighed me.

I get drunk on occasion...like I'm planning my binge on St. Patricks Day....Guinness all day long. Wheee!


When is National Fenian Day?

It's a great opportunity to do damage to another group of individuals that I have institutionalized hatred for whilst they're inebriated and thus not as coherent or coordinated as per usual.

See.. I'd never hit my Ma. I'd kill anybody that did.



I don't think they thought we'd bludgeon them or anything.

...........................................................................



No Howard, she wasn't.  Why would I be friends with someone who deals in drug trafficking?


Sorry,I don't know what I was thinking. :(

...........................................................................



No Howard, she wasn't.  Why would I be friends with someone who deals in drug trafficking?
i've actually been looking for a friend like that for quite some time now.

i've actually been looking for a friend like that for quite some time now.



I wish I could hook you up with someone, but I know no one.

i've actually been looking for a friend like that for quite some time now.


Trust me they're are only your friend the first time,after you have to pay like the others ::)

Trust me they're are only your friend the first time,after you have to pay like the others ::)
das cool, i'm totally willing to pay. but lately it's just not nowhere!

"I suspect everyone immediately of being a psychopath"

das cool, i'm totally willing to pay. but lately it's just not nowhere!


;D You really should move here!

;D You really should move here!
you know... i really should.

you know... i really should.


Yes you should.
I need a roomate...well first i need a house,but that's just an unimportant detail.

you know... i really should.


Huh.. Where I live, even the ice cream man is probably a drug dealer. We live down the street from some cranksters, I believe.

But Mike-Man! I want you to stay cleeeeeeeeean.

*while listening to "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" by Whitney Houston on Renegade Retro*

Midas: Where DO broken hearts go?
Jess: trashcan

While listening to "So Emotional" by Whitney Houston


Me: Kin is singing along
Midas: I'm sorry

I was lipsynching :P

Me to my son James "So, how did it go with your hearing test  at school today"

James " What?"


I guess that's why we got a letter about a retest!

Me to my son James "So, how did it go with your hearing test  at school today"

James " What?"



bahhhaahahahaa. always funny. :)

Me to my son James "So, how did it go with your hearing test  at school today"

James " What?"


I guess that's why we got a letter about a retest!


Classic! ;D

you know... i really should.


You could marry me in a gay civil service and then try and claim British citizenship. I'll bet you'd get it 'cus your parents have lived there for years, then you could move to Portugal as an EU citizen and divorce me in a gay civil divorce.

$5,000 up front.

$10,000 upon completion.

I'm a reasonable man.

$5,000 up front.

$10,000 upon completion.




that's just for the wedding night sex.

Me to my son James "So, how did it go with your hearing test  at school today"

James " What?"


I guess that's why we got a letter about a retest!


LOL!

that's just for the wedding night sex.


Nah, that's a freebie.

You can hold the camera.

Who pitches and who catches?

You could marry me in a gay civil service and then try and claim British citizenship. I'll bet you'd get it 'cus your parents have lived there for years, then you could move to Portugal as an EU citizen and divorce me in a gay civil divorce.

$5,000 up front.

$10,000 upon completion.

I'm a reasonable man.

Why would an american have any problems moving here?
Davey, your true rainbow colors are finally showing :D


Who pitches and who catches?
;D I'm dying to know too.

Nah, that's a freebie.

You can hold the camera.



Let me hold the camera,Does it come with zoom lens?  ;D

Who pitches and who catches?


Mike's the 4th Molina brother.

brannerboy: there were drug dealers on my train today
Rice Phage: did they have anything you wanted?
brannerboy: they didn't ask me...I was the white guy

"I'm just thinking about the non-sex we're not having". ;D

"I'm just thinking about the non-sex we're not having". ;D
doesn't that mean you ARE having sex? like, with the double-negative thing?

doesn't that mean you ARE having sex? like, with the double-negative thing?


I was about to ask that...

After reading about the current winner of HGTV's "Dream House"...I read a blog that readers had posted in...and came across this one:


thanks for letting some old man whose probably going to die soon win the house

Posted by fu – March 18, 2007 10:28 PM

doesn't that mean you ARE having sex? like, with the double-negative thing?


I really wouldn't know.

I really wouldn't know.
well, you're probably not, then. i imagine you would have noticed by now.

well, you're probably not, then. i imagine you would have noticed by now.


Maybe he was asleep?

Maybe he was asleep?


I was half asleep.

I was half asleep.


So then you know that it happened, if you knew you were half asleep, right?

So then you know that it happened, if you knew you were half asleep, right?


I don't know what I was.

"UB40 is WHITE?!?!?!" -Rice Cube

"UB40 is WHITE?!?!?!" -Rice Cube

wait. they are?

wait. they are?


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/bootyshake.gif

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/bootyshake.gif
wow. suddenly you look just like my bass player's wife.

wait. they are?


Wait, Rick Astley is WHITE too?  :o  ;D

wow. suddenly you look just like my bass player's wife.


She looks like a yellow smiley ass? :o


Wait, Rick Astley is WHITE too?   :o   ;D


Smartass. ;D

Smartass. ;D


Yes, please.  8)

Yes, please.   8)



http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/naughty.gif

She looks like a yellow smiley ass? :o

she did a little asswiggle thing for me at saturday's show, right while the whole band, including me and the bass player, was in the middle of a set.

i really love the word "asswiggle."

Jessica's signature is ace, man.

she did a little asswiggle thing for me at saturday's show, right while the whole band, including me and the bass player, was in the middle of a set.


Dang. Skanky.



Jessica's signature is ace, man.


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/12/icon_biggrin.gif

Dang. Skanky.

hey now! maybe they're swingers.

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/12/evil6.gif

James (after using the toilet) "I've washed my hands"
me "Great, well done"
James "I washed this finger extra well"
me "Why?"
James "I stuck it up my bottom to see if it would make a noise"
me  :o

"UB40 is WHITE?!?!?!" -Rice Cube



Now imagine my surprise when I found out the BeeGees were white...

James (after using the toilet) "I've washed my hands"
me "Great, well done"
James "I washed this finger extra well"
me "Why?"
James "I stuck it up my bottom to see if it would make a noise"
me  :o


Oh my. ;D

James (after using the toilet) "I've washed my hands"
me "Great, well done"
James "I washed this finger extra well"
me "Why?"
James "I stuck it up my bottom to see if it would make a noise"
me  :o



hahaa! ;D  kids do the craziest things, huh?

"It's like a redneck fairy tale!"

--Jess, after watching "Cars"

James (after using the toilet) "I've washed my hands"
me "Great, well done"
James "I washed this finger extra well"
me "Why?"
James "I stuck it up my bottom to see if it would make a noise"
me  :o



EW,Gross! :P

James (after using the toilet) "I've washed my hands"
me "Great, well done"
James "I washed this finger extra well"
me "Why?"
James "I stuck it up my bottom to see if it would make a noise"
me  :o


;D

Did it?

Wait, Rick Astley is WHITE too?   :o   ;D


And also Bobby Caldwell

is my sausage bothering you?

"Who's Dick Chaney"? My co-worker. I'm not kidding, she was dead serious.

"Who's Dick Chaney"? My co-worker. I'm not kidding, she was dead serious.
the night desert shield became desert storm i was driving around with this girl listening to the reports on the radio. she's all, hey, can we listen to music? i'm like, honey, this is serious. we're at war. she says, oh really? with who?

the night desert shield became desert storm i was driving around with this girl listening to the reports on the radio. she's all, hey, can we listen to music? i'm like, honey, this is serious. we're at war. she says, oh really? with who?

Pitiful. This woman is like 48 years old, has never voted, doesn't read the paper or watch the news. I hate talking to her about current events or who sang a certain song or anything, because she's clueless. Almost everytime I bring up a name of a celebrity or a musician, she says "who's that"?

the night desert shield became desert storm i was driving around with this girl listening to the reports on the radio. she's all, hey, can we listen to music? i'm like, honey, this is serious. we're at war. she says, oh really? with who?



I can beat that.  When we launched the air attacks against Iraq back in 2003, my roommate came into our living room as I was watching TV and said "Iraq....where's that?"  This is a college sophomore, but I humored her and said the middle east.  "I thought we beat the Russians?"



No lie.

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/BangHead.gif

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/BangHead.gif



I had to live with this girl.  President Bush would come on TV and she'd ask why he was on if Clinton beat him.  Ah HELLO.

;D

Did it?


Apparently not.  He was disappointed.

"Who's Dick Chaney"? My co-worker. I'm not kidding, she was dead serious.


I... Asked this question about a week ago. But I know that it's Cheney, and not Chaney! =D

"Let me see your nipples!"

--Jess

"Let me see your nipples!"

--Jess


Was she talking to your kid?

Was she talking to your kid?


I don't think he was. ;D

"There's only so much talcum powder that will soak that up."  - My dad

is my sausage bothering you?


yes It's bothering me. ;D

I... Asked this question about a week ago. But I know that it's Cheney, and not Chaney! =D

Haha! Oh crap!  :-[  ;D

"If a rooster lays a roasted pickle on top of a magic lamp, how many cookies does it take to eat a llama?"

"If a rooster lays a roasted pickle on top of a magic lamp, how many cookies does it take to eat a llama?"


It would depend on precisely what the rooster wished when the genie came out.

"If a rooster lays a roasted pickle on top of a magic lamp, how many cookies does it take to eat a llama?"


1 Cookie? ???

"If a rooster lays a roasted pickle on top of a magic lamp, how many cookies does it take to eat a llama?"


*holds hands 6 inches apart* a fish this color.

"I was seduced by rock and roll at a very early age"  - Jimmy Page

I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact quote from the movie (Breach) we saw yesterday...

You are who you are...the why you got that way doesn't really matter.

After reading about the current winner of HGTV's "Dream House"...I read a blog that readers had posted in...and came across this one:


thanks for letting some old man whose probably going to die soon win the house

Posted by fu – March 18, 2007 10:28 PM




..Hahaha! That's awesome ;D

I'm paraphrasing because I can't remember the exact quote from the movie (Breach) we saw yesterday...

You are who you are...the why you got that way doesn't really matter.
that's a fantastic moment, when they're in rock creek park.

amazing movie.

A YouTube comment on a video of hardcore dancing:

"Damn! 16-Year Old Suburban Kid: 1... Air: 0."

"It's bad enough seeing him from the waist up.. all Grey and rubbery.. like Skeletor, but fat."

Commenting on Ron's brother coming out of the bathroom wearing just a towel. Nobody wanted to see.

Museum of Idots: I have to write a letter to Hitler.
TopTrig12: He doesn't write back, you know
TopTrig12: It's cause he's kind of a dick
Museum of Idots: I know... But it's not my decision!
TopTrig12: What do you want to tell Uncle Adolf?
Museum of Idots: That I think he's a dick.
Museum of Idots: But in more school appropriate language.

"If he keeps being such a prick I'm gonna write 'Bobby Sands Lives' in s**t on his wall."

Ok.. this may take some explaining.

Bobby Sands was the IRA cork smoker who died after going on Hunger Strike in Maze Prison. He also rubbed excrement all over the walls of his cell (typical fenian retardation). Anyhow, my friend Ron and me were down in his brothers basement helping him fix his A/C unit.. and he was being a total prick.

This had me on my knees clutching my gut laughing so much.

"Unlike you, I am addicted to sex and violence" - Edge

"Unlike you, I am addicted to sex and violence" - Edge



If that's the Edge from U2, that makes me love him even more.

If that's the Edge from U2, that makes me love him even more.
  :o  sorry but it's not The Edge, it's a psychotic wrestler named Edge http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xUmxwhGPl4BhgejzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsNWJnbTFxBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTA2OF85MA--/SIG=136u69gn5/EXP=1175066790/**http%3A//www.wrestlingtradingcards.com/images/2004_wwe_chaos/wwe_chaos_control_7.jpg

Well damn.

Well damn.
yeah, but The Edge does kick ass http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xcm1AhG1osA9UijzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsdmIydTZhBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTAwMV83MA--/SIG=13bvf9ap2/EXP=1175070118/**http%3A//u2.reicht.net/pics/u2tour_pics/Elevation-Tour-Leg1/2001-03-24/20010324-edge2.jpg

  :o  sorry but it's not The Edge, it's a psychotic wrestler named Edge http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xUmxwhGPl4BhgejzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsNWJnbTFxBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTA2OF85MA--/SIG=136u69gn5/EXP=1175066790/**http%3A//www.wrestlingtradingcards.com/images/2004_wwe_chaos/wwe_chaos_control_7.jpg


Mr.Money In The Bank

yeah, but The Edge does kick ass http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5xcm1AhG1osA9UijzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTBsdmIydTZhBHNlYwNwcm9mBHZ0aWQDSTAwMV83MA--/SIG=13bvf9ap2/EXP=1175070118/**http%3A//u2.reicht.net/pics/u2tour_pics/Elevation-Tour-Leg1/2001-03-24/20010324-edge2.jpg


No.. he dosen't!!! why do people think that, he plays the exact same jangly freakin rioff over and over again.. no variety, bunch of freakin IRA loving Fenians. I wish the UDA were still around to take them out.. preaching love and peace, pussys.

Edge.. the real Edge as in Adam Copeland is so far superior.

No.. he dosen't!!! why do people think that, he plays the exact same jangly freakin rioff over and over again.. no variety, bunch of freakin IRA loving Fenians. I wish the UDA were still around to take them out.. preaching love and peace, pussys.

Edge.. the real Edge as in Adam Copeland is so far superior.
I like that exact same jangly freakin rioff, and the IRA dances to With Or Without You as they're putting bombs together

“Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I'm with you kid. Let's go."� - Maya Angelou

I like that exact same jangly freakin rioff, and the IRA dances to With Or Without You as they're putting bombs together


... and the UDA dances to freakin Compelled to Lacerate when they're killing those filthy fenian bastards.

... and the UDA dances to freakin Compelled to Lacerate when they're killing those filthy fenian bastards.
dang Davey!  :o 


"I haven't felt the way I feel - Stevie Nicks

... and the UDA dances to freakin Compelled to Lacerate when they're killing those filthy fenian bastards.


No other song would be fitting to dance to in those situations..

Rice Phage: sup?
tarheelkevin00: not much
Rice Phage: you guys have one bathroom or two right now?
tarheelkevin00:  two
Rice Phage: lucky her :-D
Rice Phage: I just had to pick the lock so I could take a massive dump while she was showering
Rice Phage: she's cursing me now
Rice Phage: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Rice Phage: sorry, just had to tell someone
tarheelkevin00:  nice.  i love dumping while my wife is taking a shower
Rice Phage: but in a separate bathroom?
tarheelkevin00:  nope.  the same one
Rice Phage: you're my hero

"The doctor said I have to massage my balls while sitting in a warm bath." -Rice Cube

"The doctor said I have to massage my balls while sitting in a warm bath." -Rice Cube



;D  ;D  ;D  ;D  ;D

"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Rice Phage: sup?
tarheelkevin00: not much
Rice Phage: you guys have one bathroom or two right now?
tarheelkevin00:  two
Rice Phage: lucky her :-D
Rice Phage: I just had to pick the lock so I could take a massive dump while she was showering
Rice Phage: she's cursing me now
Rice Phage: HAHAHAHAHAHA
Rice Phage: sorry, just had to tell someone
tarheelkevin00:  nice.  i love dumping while my wife is taking a shower
Rice Phage: but in a separate bathroom?
tarheelkevin00:  nope.  the same one
Rice Phage: you're my hero
first glance I thought you were asking if someone wanted some soup  :-\\

No other song would be fitting to dance to in those situations..


Good call son.




'Dogs have feelings too.'

"what channel was that gunfight movie on"?  -  Lady Di  :o