TV9 really needs more of a life, and therapy and drugs to calm his ass down. He sounds like some f*ckd up former Raider fan, if there is such a thing.


Not true at all. The whole reason American sports just aren't as good as football (real football with your feet) is because ther aren't enough people like him.
Ya'll are content to sit there and smile and cheer your silly little cheers "Ra ra ra! Go Team!" even when your team is losing. Sports in the U.S would be way better with an added dose of VI-O-LENCE!

Not true at all. The whole reason American sports just aren't as good as football (real football with your feet) is because ther aren't enough people like him.
Ya'll are content to sit there and smile and cheer your silly little cheers "Ra ra ra! Go Team!" even when your team is losing. Sports in the U.S would be way better with an added dose of VI-O-LENCE!


I hate that metalhead Andy with every inch and fiber and miniscule atom of my being. I want to rip his head apart and suck out all his internal juices and dance around in his intestines. He needs to DIE... DIE HORRIBLY and die from a hippie... A hippie whose feet are so dirty that after dancing in his brains, Andy would only be able to think about dirt.

That's better, eh?

I hate that metalhead Andy with every inch and fiber and miniscule atom of my being. I want to rip his head apart and suck out all his internal juices and dance around in his intestines. He needs to DIE... DIE HORRIBLY and die from a hippie... A hippie whose feet are so dirty that after dancing in his brains, Andy would only be able to think about dirt.

That's better, eh?


I laugh at your value system and find smug satisfaction in the fact that you'll never own property due to the escalating price of real estate in California.

I laugh at your value system and find smug satisfaction in the fact that you'll never own property due to the escalating price of real estate in California.


Remember, I'm going to Pennsylvania.

Remember, I'm going to Pennsylvania.


I laugh at how bored you're going to be!

This morning Vaughn was looking at this pillow that I have...and on it is a cat...

Vaughn: what does this pillow say?
Me: It says MEOW (which it does)
Kit-Kat (as if right on cue)....MEOW (as soon as I said the word meow....she let out with a MEOW)



It was so cute and funny! :D ;D

I laugh at how bored you're going to be!


*Cries* At least with people to talk to, it won't be as bad as it is here.

My kid is crazy!

Hunter was on the toilet and he pointed down and asked "What's that?"
I replied "That's your penis."
He said "Oh?  Where did we get the peanuts?"

;D :D

My boss to a co worker...

it's not hard to quit smoking...why don't you hire yourself a boy toy and do something else with your lips for a change?

My kid is crazy!

Hunter was on the toilet and he pointed down and asked "What's that?"
I replied "That's your penis."
He said "Oh?  Where did we get the peanuts?"

;D :D



hahah...that's cute! I, for some reason, cannot feel comfortable yet telling Vaughn that it is called a "penis"....so we still call it a "pee-pee".  He always goes, "Do girls have pee-pee's?"....and I say, "No"....and he says, "well then, how do they pee?"....and then I answer, "well, they have their own kind of parts"...and then I conveniently change the subject!! ;D :D

Robin:"My Parents went to Zaybar."

Howard:"Did you just say your Parents went to a gay bar"?

Robin:"Zabar is a bread place".

Howard:"only Me,I have sex on the brain". ;D

Robin:"My Parents went to Zaybar."

Howard:"Did you just say your Parents went to a gay bar"?

Robin:"Zabar is a bread place".

Howard:"only Me,I have sex on the brain". ;D



;D :D ;D good one! ;)

;D :D ;D good one! ;)


I thought Robin said that Her Parents went to a gay bar.See,Only me. ::) ;D

hahah...that's cute! I, for some reason, cannot feel comfortable yet telling Vaughn that it is called a "penis"....so we still call it a "pee-pee".  He always goes, "Do girls have pee-pee's?"....and I say, "No"....and he says, "well then, how do they pee?"....and then I answer, "well, they have their own kind of parts"...and then I conveniently change the subject!! ;D :D


This was the first time I used the correct word, I usually call it a pee-pee.  I used the same word with my daughter, until my son came along and she was getting confused.  So I tried to use the correct word for her but she pronounced it "China".  So sometimes she uses 'china' and sometimes she just says "my pee".  Such class.  ;)

Today in first period, I was talking to Stuart and Timmy about how none of us finished our math homework, so I said, "We can fail together!  We'll be F buddies!"  Then Timmy gave me this look and Stuart and I busted out laughing about the same time as we realized "F buddies" probably wouldn't be the best term.

Seventh period:

Jese:  We need to play some kind of game, I mean, make some kind of an English game!
Mrs. Crandall:  You want me to stand up here and throw candy at you?  Because we've gone over this before...
Me:  *sigh*  It's going to be just like Mardi Gras all over again...
Jese:  No!  I mean...do something to make it not as boring...like...I'm having a hard time explaining it....!
Me:  I think Jese wants to sing the grammar jingles in the back of the book.
Jese:  *turns around*  Haha, I like those...!  ...Wait...no!  *turns back to teacher* 
Me:  *begins singing*  Preposition, preposition, easy as can be...
Jese:  What I'm saying is, let's make English fun!
Mrs. Crandall:  But that's why we say the Question and Answer Flow in funny voices.

Yesterday and today I've been losing my voice, it came back this afternoon briefly so that my hubby said I sounded like Rachael Ray.  He asked me what I was making for dinner, and I said "E-V-O-O/Extra Virgin Olive Oil"

Guess you had to be there, it was funny at the time.

My friend Cara, about her birthday present:


"I hope it's not porn....I have enough of that as it is.  I had to buy a file cabinet for it all.  Top drawer: gay.  Middle drawer: Lesbian.  Bottom drawer: Asian midgets."

My friend Cara, about her birthday present:


"I hope it's not porn....I have enough of that as it is.  I had to buy a file cabinet for it all.  Top drawer: gay.  Middle drawer: Lesbian.  Bottom drawer: Asian midgets."



She should send me some.

She sould send me some.


Because you like watching Gay Asian Midgets? That's like Rice Cube, except short and gay.

Because you like watching Gay Asian Midgets? That's like Rice Cube, except short and gay.


So like you, but asian?

So like you, but asian?


You realize that I'm taller than at least 90 percent of the people on these boards?

You realize that I'm taller than at least 90 percent of the people on these boards?


What are you, like 6 foot?

What are you, like 6 foot?



Almost... kinda..

5'10"

Almost... kinda..

5'10"


.. and you're in the top 10%.

Jeez ya'll are short.

I don't consider myself particularly tall and you're like 3-4 inches shorter than me. I know Al is about 6'3.

My professor in molecular biology:

"So ze histones bind the DNA over heah, ja?"

Me thinking:

"Ja.  Heah me nawl and believe me nehxt Toosday..."

She sould send me some.



My best friend should send you porn?  Oooh, I'll get right on telling her.

If she's got some extras, send them this way.

If she's got some extras, send them this way.
will home movies do?

My best friend should send you porn?  Oooh, I'll get right on telling her.



Lesbian porn will do just fine. ;) ;D

Lesbian porn will do just fine. ;) ;D


I thought you said you were watching gay porn now. Gay as in... male...

Lesbian porn will do just fine. ;) ;D



don't you have enough porn, yo? ???

RE: People who refuse to improve themselves...

wattatwerk: Aye, and they drag down humanity as a whole. It is dangerous ground to tread, but watt proposes some sort of disposal method for such people.

Watt is wise.

will home movies do?


Don't care, just trying to get some new ideas.

I thought you said you were watching gay porn now. Gay as in... male...


Those are only the samples,the 20-30 second kind.

don't you have enough porn, yo? ???


yeah,I do.;D Robin wants me to rid myself of all the porn I have because I have her to look at but I don't have to throw them all out.I can just give them away or throw them out.

yeah,I do.;D Robin wants me to rid myself of all the porn I have because I have her to look at but I don't have to throw them all out.I can just give them away or throw them out.


Talk about hang-ups!!!  Is she that insecure?

Talk about hang-ups!!!  Is she that insecure?


Well,she never watches porn,That's hard to believe.But,she's a little insecure about her body.I'm guessing she's never had a man fantasize about her.

I hate porn.

I hate porn.


=o I know who said that. :P

yeah,I do.;D Robin wants me to rid myself of all the porn I have because I have her to look at but I don't have to throw them all out.I can just give them away or throw them out.


make a deal with her....tell her that you will promise to get rid of all of your porn....if she will just give you another chance and not leave you for trivial things. ;)

make a deal with her....tell her that you will promise to get rid of all of your porn....if she will just give you another chance and not leave you for trivial things. ;)


The last time that she was over my house was August 2005 and she never even looked at my porn collection and that's because at the time My Parents were coming home in the evening from Vacation in Las Vegas and I wanted to know what it felt like to have a girl alone but the problem is she had to lie to her Parents to think that My parents were still home,Their car was parked in the driveway and I was horny as hell so we didn't quite make out for a long period of time and I had fun.But this was at the time when I didn't have a job.

But anyway,If she wants me to get rid of my porn,She's going to have to help me with it. ;)

I hate porn.


Me Too.

While helping my oldest with a report for music on a "blues-influenced artist and one of their songs"

Me: *reading from a website* "It has the exact same guitar riff and vocal rhythm as Muddy Waters' 'Mannish Boy'"
Son: "So is that why they sound the same?"

Me Too.



...

...



exactly.

exactly.


Welcome to the Howard-Zone.

howard needs to be on television. he'd seriously make a killer talk-show host.

howard needs to be on television. he'd seriously make a killer talk-show host.


"Today on Howard - Baby's with no Daddys"

Howard - I touched my pee pee today.

"Today on Howard - Baby's with no Daddys"

Howard - I touched my pee pee today.
i like how he would host an interview and bluntly contradict himself every 20 to 30 seconds, thereby befuddling his guests and provoking hilarity. very "space ghost."

although i'm having trouble coming up with a good name for a show with "howard" in it. "heart to howard" is the best thing i can think of. (like "heart to heart," get it?) and that's pretty bad.

what's a word starting with "h" that means talk? i'ma run with this! all i need is a decent name and a contractual commitment from the H man and i'll be ready to go out to the L.A. studios and pitch this thing! (plus i got a couple other things to take care of while i'm out there anyway.... ;))

i like how he would host an interview and bluntly contradict himself every 20 to 30 seconds, thereby befuddling his guests and provoking hilarity. very "space ghost."

although i'm having trouble coming up with a good name for a show with "howard" in it. "heart to howard" is the best thing i can think of. (like "heart to heart," get it?) and that's pretty bad.

what's a word starting with "h" that means talk? i'ma run with this! all i need is a decent name and a contractual commitment from the H man and i'll be ready to go out to the L.A. studios and pitch this thing! (plus i got a couple other things to take care of while i'm out there anyway.... ;))


He'd need a band. Like Spaceghost.. but not quite as good.

Howard Hears? Howard's Half Hour of Hugs?

I dunno.

"I think drug abuse is bad."
'I'm glad you said that Howard beca..'
"My Baloney has a first name, it's PE-N-I-S!"

i like how he would host an interview and bluntly contradict himself every 20 to 30 seconds, thereby befuddling his guests and provoking hilarity. very "space ghost."

although i'm having trouble coming up with a good name for a show with "howard" in it. "heart to howard" is the best thing i can think of. (like "heart to heart," get it?) and that's pretty bad.

what's a word starting with "h" that means talk? i'ma run with this! all i need is a decent name and a contractual commitment from the H man and i'll be ready to go out to the L.A. studios and pitch this thing! (plus i got a couple other things to take care of while i'm out there anyway.... ;))


Howard's Hubbub

Or he only has female guests and calls it Howards Harem

Or he only has female guests and calls it Howards Harem


That's a really..really..reeaaallly scary concept.

That's a really..really..reeaaallly scary concept.
And, not exactly "family friendly" :o

And, not exactly "family friendly" :o


In no way, shape or form is Howard - Family Friendly.

In no way, shape or form is Howard - Family Friendly.


no, he's late night.

no, he's late night.


No. He's unacceptable.

No. He's unacceptable.


oh yeah...you told me that and i keep forgetting.

no, he's late night.


Adult Late Night  ;D

howard needs to be on television. he'd seriously make a killer talk-show host.


No I don't think so.

Howard's Hubbub

Or he only has female guests and calls it Howards Harem



Howard's Hookers

My biology teacher:

"What do you do when you're hungry and you're in a rush? You probably go through the drive-thru and get yourself a McBiscuit."



LMAO McBiscuit!? Everyone giggles when he says that, and he's completely oblivious to it.

No. He's unacceptable.



For Late Night? :o

He'd need a band. Like Spaceghost.. but not quite as good.

Howard Hears? Howard's Half Hour of Hugs?

I dunno.

"I think drug abuse is bad."
'I'm glad you said that Howard beca..'
"My Baloney has a first name, it's PE-N-I-S!"


Ohmygod...I laughed so much at that.

no, he's late night.
late night on Skinemax ;)

For Late Night? :o


No.. overall.. you're just unacceptable.

Lesbian porn will do just fine. ;) ;D



I was not serious, Howard.  I am not telling my friend to send you anything.

I was not serious, Howard.  I am not telling my friend to send you anything.


Beth, could you please ask her to share with me.

Beth, could you please ask her to share with me.


No.

i like how he would host an interview and bluntly contradict himself every 20 to 30 seconds, thereby befuddling his guests and provoking hilarity. very "space ghost."

although i'm having trouble coming up with a good name for a show with "howard" in it. "heart to howard" is the best thing i can think of. (like "heart to heart," get it?) and that's pretty bad.

what's a word starting with "h" that means talk? i'ma run with this! all i need is a decent name and a contractual commitment from the H man and i'll be ready to go out to the L.A. studios and pitch this thing! (plus i got a couple other things to take care of while i'm out there anyway.... ;))


Hablan con Howard!! The Spanish talk-show... Although he'd only say that one line... with cherie in it...

late night on Skinemax ;)


I'll be having simulated sex on my talk show.

I was not serious, Howard.  I am not telling my friend to send you anything.


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/cussing.gif

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/cussing.gif


That shouldn't be a problem, since you said you hate porn.

That shouldn't be a problem, since you said you hate porn.


I never said I hated it,Or did I? ;D

I never said I hated it,Or did I? ;D


You did. In this thread, even!

I went to my church youth group to play Halo, and Jordan's screenname was "MANPIMP".  Here's some of the typical
conversation that took place.

Stuart:  Manpimp, stop shooting me!  I told you, I didn't take your money!
Me:  I can't believe these hos.

Jacob:  YEAH!  I just killed you and stole your vehicle!
Me:  It's just like Grand Theft Auto...but with a lot less sex.

Rejection.

Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
69.
- SmarterChild says:
hmm...
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
Please please me, whoa yeah, like I please you
- SmarterChild says:
u ok?
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
Better than ever.
- SmarterChild says:
eh. no thanks.

You did. In this thread, even!


So I lied just a bit

Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
Man, I can't even PRETEND I hate myspace anymore
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
I'm addicted to it now 
the insane says:
PENIAL DISCHARGE

Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
Man, I can't even PRETEND I hate myspace anymore
Marsh "Yeah, you deserve two minutes hate..." says:
I'm addicted to it now 
the insane says:
PENIAL DISCHARGE


What about penial discharge? ???

Happy generally is the same as drunk.


i forget whether PMs count as forum or not. anyway, i can't find the other thread...

Everyone had to be covered on the yearly mandatory coverage of the Company policy on sexual harrassment  :o
check this out. almost everyone on the board is guilty of one or more  ;D

Verbal Sexual Harassment

(Table of Contents)

Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey
Whistling at someone, cat calls
Making sexual comments about a person's clothing, anatomy, or looks
Making sexual comments or innuendoes
Turning work discussions into sexual topics
Telling sexual jokes or stories
Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history
Asking a person questions about his/her sexual life
Making sexual pleasures or desires known
Repeatedly asking out a person who is not interested or does not consent
Pressure for sexual favors
Making kissing sounds, howling, groaning, and smacking lips
Telling lies or spreading rumors about a person's personal sex life
Harassing phone calls
Non-Verbal and Visual Sexual Harassment

Looking a person up and down (elevator eyes)
Staring or leering at someone
Making sexual gestures with hands or through body motions
Blocking a person's path
Following or stalking a person
Giving personal gifts
Displaying sexually suggestive visuals-posters, calendars, magazines, graffiti, graphics, etc.
Sexually suggestive notes or letters
Making facial expressions such as winking, throwing kisses, or licking lips
Participating in or condoning sexually harassing behavior
Inappropriate behavior of a sexual nature in conjunction with any company business, e.g., going to an adult club/video store in a company vehicle
Physical Sexual Harassment

(Table of Contents)

Giving a massage around the neck or shoulders
Touching a person's clothing, hair, or body
Lingering around a person
Hugging, kissing, patting, pinching, or stroking
Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around or in the view of another person
Standing close or brushing up against a person
Patting, goosing, caressing, or fondling
Gestures that non-verbally describe or draw sexual parts of the anatomy
Tearing, pulling, yanking a person's clothing

Everyone had to be covered on the yearly mandatory coverage of the Company policy on sexual harrassment  :o
check this out. almost everyone on the board is guilty of one or more  ;D

Verbal Sexual Harassment

(Table of Contents)

Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey
Whistling at someone, cat calls
Making sexual comments about a person's clothing, anatomy, or looks
Making sexual comments or innuendoes
Turning work discussions into sexual topics
Telling sexual jokes or stories
Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history
Asking a person questions about his/her sexual life
Making sexual pleasures or desires known
Repeatedly asking out a person who is not interested or does not consent
Pressure for sexual favors
Making kissing sounds, howling, groaning, and smacking lips
Telling lies or spreading rumors about a person's personal sex life
Harassing phone calls
Non-Verbal and Visual Sexual Harassment

Looking a person up and down (elevator eyes)
Staring or leering at someone
Making sexual gestures with hands or through body motions
Blocking a person's path
Following or stalking a person
Giving personal gifts
Displaying sexually suggestive visuals-posters, calendars, magazines, graffiti, graphics, etc.
Sexually suggestive notes or letters
Making facial expressions such as winking, throwing kisses, or licking lips
Participating in or condoning sexually harassing behavior
Inappropriate behavior of a sexual nature in conjunction with any company business, e.g., going to an adult club/video store in a company vehicle
Physical Sexual Harassment

(Table of Contents)

Giving a massage around the neck or shoulders
Touching a person's clothing, hair, or body
Lingering around a person
Hugging, kissing, patting, pinching, or stroking
Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around or in the view of another person
Standing close or brushing up against a person
Patting, goosing, caressing, or fondling
Gestures that non-verbally describe or draw sexual parts of the anatomy
Tearing, pulling, yanking a person's clothing


What the fuuck is the point in leaving the house?!

What the fuuck is the point in leaving the house?!
I hear ya!  I'm in constant violation of a multitude of these  8)

I hear ya!  I'm in constant violation of a multitude of these  8)


I can't imagine that for some reason...

I hear ya!  I'm in constant violation of a multitude of these  8)


I need a numbered list - I'll break every single one in a 24 hour period. Women are objects.. everyone knows that..guh!

I can't imagine that for some reason...
thanks Marsh. that's a first for me. karma to you for being wonderfully sacarstic or completely naive'

I need a numbered list - I'll break every single one in a 24 hour period. Women are objects.. everyone knows that..guh!
You should work here, you'd fit right in with the rest of us  ;D

Everyone had to be covered on the yearly mandatory coverage of the Company policy on sexual harrassment  :o
check this out. almost everyone on the board is guilty of one or more  ;D


One of them was "giving personal gifts"... how is that sexual harrassment? Are people, like, putting bows on their penises?

"I have something for you.. let me put it on the table here... there we go. Unwrap it.. you'll never guess what it is.."

One of them was "giving personal gifts"... how is that sexual harrassment? Are people, like, putting bows on their penises?

"I have something for you.. let me put it on the table here... there we go. Unwrap it.. you'll never guess what it is.."
I think it's ok to do that

I hear ya!  I'm in constant violation of a multitude of these  8)



Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around or in the view of another person, I'm guessing..

One of them was "giving personal gifts"... how is that sexual harrassment? Are people, like, putting bows on their penises?

"I have something for you.. let me put it on the table here... there we go. Unwrap it.. you'll never guess what it is.."


Dick in a box would be wrong.

Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around or in the view of another person, I'm guessing..
good guess. currently on final warning for that one, but also elevator eyes and leering
I just scanned the list and I am guilty guilty guilty!!!

Dick in a box would be wrong.


But Dick in a Bag wouldn't be.

so, my boobs have been what seems like the topic of conversation around the house for the past 2 days. :D ;D


Yesterday, I was downloading and listening to music on the computer....

Me: (listening to Dolly Parton..and talking to Chris) I don't know why....but I just LOVE Dolly Parton lately....I am just obsessed with her music.

Chris: Ya, it's because you are growing boobs like her. ??? :o :D


Then today Vaughn started talking silly and with "potty humor"....and he was saying the word "boobs"


Me: (jokingly) Haha....one day you are gonna grow big boobs Vaughn
Vaughn:  hahaha...ya, like yours?
Me: No...I don't have any
Vaughn: Then what are those hills on your chest? :o ??? :D

I feel so...violated. ;D

so, my boobs have been what seems like the topic of conversation around the house for the past 2 days. :D ;D


Yesterday, I was downloading and listening to music on the computer....

Me: (listening to Dolly Parton..and talking to Chris) I don't know why....but I just LOVE Dolly Parton lately....I am just obsessed with her music.

Chris: Ya, it's because you are growing boobs like her. ??? :o :D


Then today Vaughn started talking silly and with "potty humor"....and he was saying the word "boobs"


Me: (jokingly) Haha....one day you are gonna grow big boobs Vaughn
Vaughn:  hahaha...ya, like yours?
Me: No...I don't have any
Vaughn: Then what are those hills on your chest? :o ??? :D

I feel so...violated. ;D


Heh... this reminds me of a talk that Beth and I had today... I'd quote it, but I'm not sure she'd want me to!

Heh... this reminds me of a talk that Beth and I had today... I'd quote it, but I'm not sure she'd want me to!



for some reason....I don't think I wanna even hear it. :D

so, my boobs have been what seems like the topic of conversation around the house for the past 2 days. :D ;D


Yesterday, I was downloading and listening to music on the computer....

Me: (listening to Dolly Parton..and talking to Chris) I don't know why....but I just LOVE Dolly Parton lately....I am just obsessed with her music.

Chris: Ya, it's because you are growing boobs like her. ??? :o :D


Then today Vaughn started talking silly and with "potty humor"....and he was saying the word "boobs"


Me: (jokingly) Haha....one day you are gonna grow big boobs Vaughn
Vaughn:  hahaha...ya, like yours?
Me: No...I don't have any
Vaughn: Then what are those hills on your chest? :o ??? :D

I feel so...violated. ;D
owned  ;D