Father Paul Shanley has finally been sent off to jail because on of his victims was strong enough
to go through the trial.  Three others backed out  There were many, many boys involved over the
years. I am wondering, how many of us have been molested and feel comfortable enough to admit it.

Fifth grade, the janitor at school tried.  I was confident enough, even at that age and at that time(the fifties)
to know that it was not my fault, and I told.  I don't know what happened to him, but he wasn't at
school.

Don't often think about this, to be honest: when I was 16, some Greek chap tried in a cinema in Athens (where I was watching Star Wars, in German, with Greek subtitles... very odd).  I don't think I broke his finger, but I'm not sure (that was in my karate days, didn't look much but boy, could I run fast).  Never happened in this country, though.

Don't often think about this, to be honest: when I was 16, some Greek chap tried in a cinema in Athens (where I was watching Star Wars, in German, with Greek subtitles... very odd).  I don't think I broke his finger, but I'm not sure (that was in my karate days, didn't look much but boy, could I run fast).  Never happened in this country, though.

Oh, that's weird, dude!  I'm glad you got out there.  Otherwise you'd never be able to see Chewbacca again without vomiting!
:o
One incidence of molestation is one too many.  I think it's always been a problem, but it seems more prevalent these days because society is less in denial about it and victims are encouraged to come forward. 

When I was about 12 or 13, there was this mentally retarded kid (who was about 16 or 17) who invited me into his garage to hang out. For some reason I went in there. He then told me that "if I rubbed my ding-dong, it would make me strong." I immediately jumped up and got the f*ck out of there and ran home. I forget if I told anyone about this but I don't think he lived there very much longer after that.
     Another time I was riding my bike down the street, and there was this biker dude, who everyone called "Gentle Ben," that lived about 3 or 4 blocks from my house. I rode past his house, and Gentle Ben was standing in his driveway talking to a biker friend of his, and suddenly Gentle Ben's friend whipped out his d!ck and started waving it at me and laughing. I sped up and high-tailed it home. Again, I forget if I told my parents about this (I don't think I did) but that was some creepy sh*t!

When I was about 12 or 13, there was this mentally retarded kid (who was about 16 or 17) who invited me into his garage to hang out. For some reason I went in there. He then told me that "if I rubbed my ding-dong, it would make me strong." I immediately jumped up and got the f*ck out of there and ran home. I forget if I told anyone about this but I don't think he lived there very much longer after that.
     Another time I was riding my bike down the street, and there was this biker dude, who everyone called "Gentle Ben," that lived about 3 or 4 blocks from my house. I rode past his house, and Gentle Ben was standing in his driveway talking to a biker friend of his, and suddenly Gentle Ben's friend whipped out his d!ck and started waving it at me and laughing. I sped up and high-tailed it home. Again, I forget if I told my parents about this (I don't think I did) but that was some creepy sh*t!
:o :oI feel the vast majority of people aren't molesters--I wasn't even totally sure what it was until I was in high school.But what you described was weird!I can't imagine a guy pulling out his d!ck in public,and in fromnt of his friend at that!

Was never molested myself, but my daughter was at 15.  I mentioned it before on other threads.  The bas... got off scot-free, in part because the prosecuter wasn't all that good.  Oh well.  He did lose his wife and kids as a result.  I guess evan though his wife testified for him, she knew he was guilty and sent him packing.  I see him around town now and then, a sorry case, but no more than he deserves.

Unfortunatly, there is alot of them out there.

I am just totally blown away by this thread and the amount of responses to it. It is really hard to believe that there are so many who were molested and yes, you can add me to that list too.

It is not something that I have told many people about (until now). I was 13 years old and visiting my dad. He had a friend who had a daughter my age and we hit it off. We had one thing in common, we were both living with our mothers and visiting our fathers. I went to spend the night at her father's  house with her. She had bunk beds in her room and I asked which one was mine. Both her and her dad said neither-I was sleeping in another room-alone. I thought it was a bit strange but didn't say anything. Then I woke up in the middle of the night to discover her dad was in bed with me. I'm not going to go into details but I think that is enough.

After that, I really didn't know what to do. I kept telling my dad that I didn't like his friend. At one point he said to me, "I think I know what he did to you and I think you are a little too young for that." Whether he really did know or not, I was never sure because I didn't tell him anything. It wasn't something that I wanted to talk about-but something I probably SHOULD have. When I went back to my mother's, this guy sent me a 10 page letter. I didn't read all of it-I couldn't. Nor, could I really get rid of it either. My mother wanted to read it but I wouldn't let her and she respected my privacy but she had the feeling that something happen with this guy. I really couldn't tell her because she would have blamed it all on my dad (which she still blames my dad for EVERYTHING).

I don't know what happened to the guy but I feel bad for his daughter. I never once blamed her for what her dad did to me but I did lose connect with her.

I want to thank everyone who have shared their story and gave me courage to share mine.



Cat

I wasn't sure if I'd get any responses to this thread.  I know that there is so much of this going on, and
it is scary that it is something that happens and is hidden very effectively by the very people who are
the victims.  The people who have come forward in Boston about the sexual abuse at the hands of
priests should be looked on as heroes by all of us.  I think only people who were born and raised here
can know the courage it took to stand up to the Archdiocese.  They have also made it easier for others
to say "this has happened to me, and it is not my fault"  It is time for all of us to stop being ashamed and
start putting the shame where it belongs.

Was never molested myself, but my daughter was at 15.  I mentioned it before on other threads.  The bas... got off scot-free, in part because the prosecuter wasn't all that good.  Oh well.  He did lose his wife and kids as a result.  I guess evan though his wife testified for him, she knew he was guilty and sent him packing.  I see him around town now and then, a sorry case, but no more than he deserves.
:(Maybe his wife thought he was doing something to his kids,but couldn't prove anything because they wouldn't open up about it.

It happens way too much. I was 17 when a "friend" raped me. It completely changed my life.
#1. I don't trust anyone anymore. I don't even trust my own judgement any more. After all i thought he was a friend and look where that got me.
#2 reason it changed my life is because i got pregnant. She is the only reason i got through it. she will be 17 in april..

I'm no psycholgist, but my theory is that there are 2 dimensions to this.  One is the need of certain men to feel power by dominating women and kids.  Maybe they feel disempowered in their lives, their work or their relationships.  The other dimension is that saociety has such puritanical attitudes about sex that it forces people to repress their sexuality, leading to rage, which of course they take out on weaker people.

On the other hand, there are clearly pedophiles, who may fall into the above categories (??), and maybe all these types are drawn to the priesthood, although it is not clear to me that Catholics are a bigger problem than clergy from any denomination.  The celabicy thing might be a factor though.

In any case, its vile.

It's shocking to see how many people have had such experiences.

I remember i slept at my friend Phillips house and at about 5am the door opened and his dad walked in butt naked and started looking at us. (i was on a camp bed next to his).. I slowly went under the blankets and i think he thought i was still asleep. He was definatley there for about 10 minuets before he went away, god knows what he was doing.

I remember that he and his wife divorced about a year later. Turns out he did a lot of very wierd stuff.

I have only told one person this until now.  When I was 8 my father remarried.  My step-mom had a 15 year old son who regularly molested me for a year before I moved in with my mother.  My father still doesn't know for sure but I think he suspects.  Step brother went to jail for child molestation when he was an adult and is on the sex offender list to this day.  (wow, that was the hardest thing I ever typed)

My cousin decided he was going to use me as his plaything trom the time I was two years old (yes, I do remember it) until I was about seven. It only stopped because he dropped dead of a stroke. Cruel as it may sound, I was the only one who didn't cry at his funeral. I never told my family although my sister and Rice Cube do know.

I am completely outspoken on the matter of child molestation. I don't give a d*mn what your excuses are. Pedophiles are a bunch of sick motherf*ckers who I dearly hope meet their end in the worst way possible.

I have only told one person this until now.  When I was 8 my father remarried.  My step-mom had a 15 year old son who regularly molested me for a year before I moved in with my mother.  My father still doesn't know for sure but I think he suspects.  Step brother went to jail for child molestation when he was an adult and is on the sex offender list to this day.  (wow, that was the hardest thing I ever typed)
Dagny, my ex was also molested when she was little...I admire your courage ;)

I don't tell many people this, but I have an uncle who is a pedophile. Thankfully he never molested me or anyone else in my immediate family. He has multiple convictions of child molestation, and he has also spent time in jail for drug-related offenses. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about him. In some ways he's a really nice guy who has turned me on to some really cool music, but then I think about what he has done and I am completely repulsed by him. Part of me wants to treat him with compassion because he's family, and on the occasions that I've visited him we've gotten along cordially, but I also feel like I have to keep my distance from him.
   After reading some of your posts in this thread, I admire you for having the courage to come forward and relating what must have been truly horrible and painful experiences. And when I think about what my uncle did and the scars he left on his victims, it makes me angry. Yet I also feel like I can't turn my back on him, since he is family.
   

My cousin decided he was going to use me as his plaything trom the time I was two years old (yes, I do remember it) until I was about seven. It only stopped because he dropped dead of a stroke. Cruel as it may sound, I was the only one who didn't cry at his funeral. I never told my family although my sister and Rice Cube do know.

I am completely outspoken on the matter of child molestation. I don't give a d*mn what your excuses are. Pedophiles are a bunch of sick motherf*ckers who I dearly hope meet their end in the worst way possible.
:\'( Can you say "Michael Jackson"....you watch, he'll be playing with OJ's balls soon >:(

I don't tell many people this, but I have an uncle who is a pedophile. Thankfully he never molested me or anyone else in my immediate family. He has multiple convictions of child molestation, and he has also spent time in jail for drug-related offenses. To be honest, I have mixed feelings about him. In some ways he's a really nice guy who has turned me on to some really cool music, but then I think about what he has done and I am completely repulsed by him. Part of me wants to treat him with compassion because he's family, and on the occasions that I've visited him we've gotten along cordially, but I also feel like I have to keep my distance from him.
    After reading some of your posts in this thread, I admire you for having the courage to come forward and relating what must have been truly horrible and painful experiences. And when I think about what my uncle did and the scars he left on his victims, it makes me angry. Yet I also feel like I can't turn my back on him, since he is family.
   


This is part of the sad and scary story of the pedophile.  They can be charming regular people to those who know them, but monsters to their victims.  The charming part is how they are able to get away with
what they do.  They rampant emotions inflicted on those that care about them is almost as damaging
as the pain they cause their victims.  It is an all to real "love the sinner, hate the sin" scenario.

Sad topic.  When I was about nine a bloke in a parked car called me over.  When I went over he was masturbating!  I just freaked and ran home.  I never told anyone about it.  When I was 17 a work colleague of my sister sexually assaulted me at a party.  At the time I felt I was to blame but with hindsight and maturity I realised that it was HIS fault.  Thankfully I can say that I'm over it and I have no hang-ups about sex.

It's sad how many women (and men) have the same sorry tales to tell :\'(  One day in the lunch room at work a group of us (all female) were talking about this subject and I think we all had a story.  The office junior who was 15 had been sexually assaulted in the lift by one of our clients.  The sickest thing was he had been telling us how he was just back from his honeymoon.  Great husband material.  :P

If anybody touched my children I wouldn't hesitate ripping them apart with my bare hands. >:(

My heart goes out to all who've had some sort of experience of this...

I'm fortunate in that I was never approached or in any way harmed in my younger days...


If anybody touched my children I wouldn't hesitate ripping them apart with my bare hands. >:(


No kids myself, Janine - but I'd do the same if anyone harmed my nieces and nephews...and quite happily do the time for it...

If anybody touched my children I wouldn't hesitate ripping them apart with my bare hands. >:(

There's definitely a strong emotional kick when your own children are threatened: I know even thinking about this sort of thing possibly happening to mine causes a stream of anger which is quite at odds with my usually placid state of mind.

After experiencing that- sometimes you feel like that's all guys want from you. I still feel like that even my husband. Sometimes his touch sickens me.

Ditto.  I hope hubby understands, though, that it has nothing to do with him...


Sometimes he does and other times he gets frusterated, He told me that sometimes when he touches my arm or body when i am asleep, i punch or kick him. he doesn't really understand though, he figures that it's him that i don't trust.

If anybody touched my children I wouldn't hesitate ripping them apart with my bare hands. >:(


I know if anyone hurt my kids, I would be up for murder.

Oh yeah. My hangups stem more from what happened when I was younger than what happened when I was older.  Mostly because of my feelings about it at the time.  Thinking back, most of my "exposure" (for lack of a better word) to sex growing up was pretty dysfunctional, but that's a story for a different time...


I suppose being 17 and fairly mature I was able to work through it my own mind.  I did have a couple of very tough years.  I can't imagine what it must be like to have it happen to you as a child. :( 

Yeah it's strange how so many molestors are otherwise nice people.  ???  They're crimes are among the worst and most damaging and can tear families apart.  IMO it's so damaging that life sentence should often be given, and even death penalty can be called into the picture in court and I wouldn't regret it if the perp wasn't remorseful.  >:(

It seems like rapists towards women are generally humorless and mean in every aspect though.  Perhaps they have more guts than child molestors, I don't know.  Or perhaps it's easier for some to have mercy on women than children because women can speak clearly and vocally object to the acts. 

I personally would rather be molested/raped than killed though. I have a strong enough mind that I think I could live with being molested or raped.  But some don't or simply find it even worse.

Molestation and abuse have always been quite rampant, more so than it is statistically known. It is more noticed and acknowledged today because society somehow has developed enough to make it O.K. for the victims to come forward without their being made to feel responsible, guilty for it. That's a positive step.

Victims in these circumstances are never guilty.

The key to reducing the incidences, in my opinion, is educating children early and completely in all matters of sex and personal safety. It's not the most comfortable subject to discuss with children, but it is much better to endure the awkwardness of it all than to be sorry later for not having given them the knowledge they need to protect and defend themselves.

It is so valuable to teach a child that when they are faced with an uncomfortable situation that they should listen to their "gut" feeling and react.

One reaction:  Have them scream "NO!" as they run away, without ever looking back, and telling someone they trust.

Children need to be educated early.

In case you wondered, I too was molested as a child. Early education would have certainly made a difference for me. Fortunately, I was able to tell, see justice, find resolve and peace early in my life. I have been very blessed with a pretty normal life since.

This is the first time I have looked at this thread and I am surprised and dismayed at the amount of people on the boards who have been affected in this way. You guys are the true fighters of the world. The people who deal with their demons in the best way they possibly can.

I am very fortunate not to have suffered anything of the kind mentioned here. The only thing I can remember is when I was about 8, I sat on a full bus next to a guy suffering from Down's Syndrome. He kept trying to touch me and make kissing sounds with his mouth. He made me feel uncomfortable but another guy on the bus sitting nearby rescued me from the situation.  :)

I also am appauled, but not surprised, that so many people have been molested.  I too commend all of you who have survived and overcome.  I applaud and admire your courage. 

I agree with Hair, teach your kids the danger signs. 

I wish I had a magic wand to make it all stop.

I wish I had a magic wand to make it all stop.
Amen to that.

Good to know your kids listen so well, crazymom.  We tried the password thing and she immediately blurted it out to the sitter.  I gave her a list of people that could pick her up and if someone who is not on the list tries to she knows not to go.  It still worries me, though. 

It took us awhile to get it right cuz my middle guy kept doing the same thing, but I eventually got it through to them ;)


Good to hear.  I will keep working with her on it. :)