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Subject: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 07/29/12 at 2:21 pm
Here are some "Schlitz jokes" my brain came up with in the past couple of weeks:
These are advertising parodies.
"If it's not Pabst Blue Ribbon, it's just a barrel of Schlitz."
"Brought to you by Schlitz, the happenin' beer. Remember - Schlitz Happens."
"When you come home after a rough day, you get the Schlitz."
"Next time you see the bartender, tell him 'I'll take a Schlitz'."
And one that's not an advertising parody:
Q: What do you get when you boil beer?
A: Hot, steamin' Schlitz
If you can think of some more, please put them here. And remember...
"Schlitz-heads Rule!"
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: CatwomanofV on 07/29/12 at 4:57 pm
When you're out of Bud, tough Schlitz!
Cat
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Don Carlos on 07/29/12 at 6:23 pm
When you're out of Bud, tough Schlitz!
Cat
If you want a beer, get a Long Trail, if you want canal piss, order Shlitz
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: CatwomanofV on 07/29/12 at 7:29 pm
If you want a beer, get a Long Trail, if you want camel piss, order Shlitz
Fixed it for ya, Honey. ;)
Cat
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Howard on 07/29/12 at 7:46 pm
When you're out of Bud, tough Schlitz!
Cat
;D
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 08/06/12 at 6:39 pm
Q: What do you see on a lot of store shelves lately?
A: No Schlitz
Another name for Schlitz Malt Liquor:
"Bull Schlitz"
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: MaxwellSmart on 08/12/12 at 12:49 am
It's not a joke, it's a quote I always think in my head when somebody mentions Schlitz --
All of a sudden I slid right down her voice into her living room. Her father and the other men were standing around in ice-cream coats and bow ties and the women were in sandals picking up herring snacks on toothpicks off a big plate and they were all holding drinks the color of water with olives and sprigs of mint in them. When my parents have somebody over they get lemonade and if it's a real racy affair Schlitz in tall glasses with "They'll Do It Every Time" cartoons stenciled on.
-- John Updike
A&P
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 08/12/12 at 10:44 pm
Now that they're returning to the original formula, this may once again be the time when they get their Schlitz together.
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 08/22/12 at 7:15 pm
Q: Until things pick back up, what do you see in stores now?
A: Diddly Schlitz.
If they had the clydesdales, then it would've been called "Horse Schlitz".
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 08/31/12 at 8:00 pm
There's a lot of things you could say about McDonald's, but there's one thing about it: When you go there, you won't get no Schlitz.
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Indy Gent on 09/06/12 at 5:19 pm
When a man fell in a vat of beer, he called his brother on a cellphone and shouted, "Help! Help! I'm in deep Schlitz!!!"
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 09/29/12 at 3:58 pm
This could be a neat slogan:
"If you don't know about the return of our original formula -
You Don't Know Schlitz"
Subject: Re: Schlitz Jokes
Written By: Sammy Reed on 12/19/12 at 9:20 am
"This Christmas, give a Schlitz."