http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/03/comeandgetsome.gif
This Topic is all about the Man Laws!  A man law is something to guide men.  I am interested in hearing some proposed Man Laws from the loyal subject of this site!
I will start it with my first man law.
1. Never have a conversation with another man while using the urinal!

Oooh, I like this topic! Karma for it. Let's see, man laws...

Well, some of my own anyway:

2) Never disturb a man who is working on/in a project, honey-do list, garage or any gasoline powered equipment.

3) Men don't read instruction or assembly manuals... at least, not in front of anyone else.

4) Men shall be proficient at cooking any type of meat on a gas or charcoal grill.

Ant

cool topic Big Nasty

5. When feasting at a burger joint, never have them cut your big beefy cheeseburger in half. 
6. Do not sit in your car while filling up at the gas station. That is what women do. 

We don't need to consult maps for directions while in a city  (we are not actually lost....no-one will be starving to death).  Maps are for long trips.....

Following that

Never admit that you are lost (even when you are really) and never ever ask for directions from a local

Following that

Never admit that you are lost (even when you are really) and never ever ask for directions from a local


Never lost...just discovering alternate routes... ;)

Never lost...just discovering alternate routes... ;)


'taking the scenic route'

'taking the scenic route'


No...it's a 'shortcut'... :D

never disturb a man while he's on the dumpster!

   Never get your meat where you get your bread...

  (Never date women you work with...)

   Never get your meat where you get your bread...



at the grocery store?

   (Never date women you work with...)
ahh yes, that's a good one Davester.  my dear friend & co-worker used to say it this way. "never dip your pen in company ink" 
he also violated his own rule  ::) 

   Never get your meat where you get your bread...

   (Never date women you work with...)



if they're beautiful? ???

ahh yes, that's a good one Davester.  my dear friend & co-worker used to say it this way. "never dip your pen in company ink"   
he also violated his own rule  ::) 


   It gets ugly...



if they're beautiful? ???


   That's up to you...

ahh yes, that's a good one Davester.  my dear friend & co-worker used to say it this way. "never dip your pen in company ink"   
he also violated his own rule  ::) 


my friend called it peeing in your pool

my friend called it peeing in your pool
what's wrong with that?  ???

what's wrong with that?   ???
;D

my friend called it peeing in your pool

what's wrong with that?   ???


Yeah...it's okay as long as you don't get caught!  I thought everyone knew that one.... ;)

my friend called it peeing in your pool


We say don't eat where you sh*t  ::)

When putting something together always refer to the "extra" nuts and bolts as "spare parts"

Never bother a man when we're on the computer.

In the Army we sometimes have to shower in an open area where there are no walls between the showers.
MAN LAW: This is not the place to discuss sports or anything else!

Never pass between a man and his tv remote when he's attempting to switch channels .... unless you're tired of living.

Adding to Mr. Mister sort of...
MAN LAW
Never Pass in front of the TV when a man is playing Madden Football, especially if he is losing!

Adding to Mr. Mister sort of...
MAN LAW
Never Pass in front of the TV when a man is playing Madden Football, especially if he is losing!


If and when he does lose, do not protest that passing in front of the TV had nothing to do with it

never bother a man when he's viewing porn.  ;)

never bother a man when he's viewing porn.  ;)


What if it's a hot chick interupting?

Never leave your "Happy Sock" laying on the floor for your spouse to pick it up.

If you 'insist' on the toilet seat always being down ... as a 'courtesy' / 'respect'  to you ... expect to occasionally find it wet .... when your husband / boyfriend is too drunk, to aim properly. However, you may have managed to 'train' one, into sitting down, like a woman, every time they go ...  even if it's only for a splash ! ... OR lifting the seat, peeing,  then putting it back down.

Talk about 'reverse discrimination'  ::) .... when we (well, SOME of us .... *suckers*  only thought you sought EQUALITY.)  


So .... if you're gonna go down that road /have gone down that road .... IDEALLY it would be .... man walks in .... sees seat up for HIM ... woman showing 'respect' to HIM (even though he may NEED to actually  sit down .... at least she shows she's not trying to have it ALL her own way ? ) . He does whatever he's there for, then puts it /leaves it down.  Repeat, ad-infinitum !



Moral of the story (?)  .... DON'T whine about toilet seats being left up !   >:(

















:P















:D                                                                      ;D

What if it's a hot chick interupting?


How hot would this girl be?

Never leave your "Happy Sock" laying on the floor for your spouse to pick it up.


I've never heard of a happy sock before.  ???

I've never heard of a happy sock before.  ???


It's a raincoat for your 5 best friends

I've never heard of a happy sock before.  ???




It's a raincoat for your 5 best friends







Here's one for his 3 BEST-EST  friends ......





























http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc153/ArtWitch88/121007_ball_warmer.jpg

















:D

A man should never date his Best Friends Ex....He can have a one night stand, if she is HOT, but just no relationship.

If as an adult, you should ever happen to poop your pants, never tell ANYONE. Not even your closest personal confidant. Just keep your mouth shut and, with the utmost of discretion, get to someplace where you can clean yourself up and get rid of the evidence.

Last year a work buddy of mine pooped his pants at work and when he informed the supervisor that he had to leave work early, he made the mistake of telling him (and even more stupidly, a few co-workers) the real reason why. Naturally word of this spread quickly and as you can imagine, he earned several new nicknames because of this.

Of course I had to tease him about it as well and he started getting rather upset so finally I said, "Hey, serves you right for telling everyone. I totally can't believe that you didn't know better. You NEVER, EVER admit that to ANYONE." This didn't make him feel much better so I went on. "You know, I myself may or may not have pooped my pants within the last 10 years but if I did you'll certainly never know about it, because if I did then it's strictly between me and my Creator."

You NEVER, EVER admit that to ANYONE." "You know, I myself may or may not have pooped my pants within the last 10 years but if I did you'll certainly never know about it."




Reading between the lines, I think we can SAFELY say ... that Al-B  .... the 'loose bowels toilet man'  ... has DEFINITELY pooped his pants within the last ten years !

A grown man, at that !  ::)













NOW we know why he has THIS :























http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s78/AL-B_photos/toilet_tongue.gif

For 'emergencies' !    :-X                    :P





















:D                                                                    ;D

Reading between the lines, I think we can SAFELY say ... that Al-B  .... the 'loose bowels toilet man'  ... has DEFINITELY pooped his pants within the last ten years !

A grown man, at that !   ::)



Well, I'm not going to admit it or deny it, but if you simply must know then ask my Creator.  ;D

Well, I'm not going to admit it or deny it, but if you simply must know then ask my Creator.  ;D


so what is your mom's number?  ;)

To tell the truth, I think I might've woken up drunk some years ago ... with something I didn't expect to find ... in my underpants (fortunately on .... and jeans too) .. lying on top the bed ?  :-[  :-[    :( But maybe it was just a VERY  bad dream  :P  .... and maybe I'm  making this up.  ;D .....  I'll NEVER tell !  >:(
























:P















:D                                                ;D

To tell the truth, I think I might've woken up drunk some years ago ... with something I didn't expect to find ... in my underpants (fortunately on .... and jeans too) .. lying on top the bed ?   :-[  :-[    :( But maybe it was just a VERY  bad dream  :P  .... and maybe I'm  making this up.  ;D .....  I'll NEVER tell !   >:(



When you climbed out of bed and stood up, did it slide down your pant leg and into your shoe?

(I mean in your dream, of course.  ;D ;D ;D)

When you climbed out of bed and stood up, did it slide down your pant leg and into your shoe?

(I mean in your dream, of course.  ;D ;D ;D)



I think 'in dream' .... it was loose, and not too much ..... but enough to be annoying, embarrassing and yucky / disgusting !  Fortunately I'd say this dream is a once in a fifty year event .... but, I'm not getting any younger, and your bowel control ... ultimately weakens. Time for diapers (in another 30 years or so ? )

Men Will Eat as much meat as possible and whenever possible it will come straight from the Grill.

Men will give another Man credit for a good Fart!

Nice Breast are Gods way of thanking Men!

Men will give another Man credit for a good Fart!









Not if it pongs. I'll be headed straight for dem der hills !      >:(      8-P

If as an adult, you should ever happen to poop your pants, never tell ANYONE. Not even your closest personal confidant. Just keep your mouth shut and, with the utmost of discretion, get to someplace where you can clean yourself up and get rid of the evidence.

Last year a work buddy of mine pooped his pants at work and when he informed the supervisor that he had to leave work early, he made the mistake of telling him (and even more stupidly, a few co-workers) the real reason why. Naturally word of this spread quickly and as you can imagine, he earned several new nicknames because of this.

Of course I had to tease him about it as well and he started getting rather upset so finally I said, "Hey, serves you right for telling everyone. I totally can't believe that you didn't know better. You NEVER, EVER admit that to ANYONE." This didn't make him feel much better so I went on. "You know, I myself may or may not have pooped my pants within the last 10 years but if I did you'll certainly never know about it, because if I did then it's strictly between me and my Creator."


;D

A guy in my husbands squadron crapped in the jet the other night.  Now I'm not sure whether or not he told anyone, but it has gone throughout the whole squadron.  ;D  They all know how he crapped, how he wiped himself...etc.  And you know in a fighter squadron they call each other by call signs.  So now they are starting to call this guy El Dookie (he's Mexican). :D  But I'm thinking....if you are sitting in a jet that small, how can you not hold it?

We were doing our Physical Training Test and a Soldier crapped himself doing sit-ups.  By a Soldier I do not mean myself either.  He actually brags about it all the time.

It's a raincoat for your 5 best friends



You mean 3? My balls and my wee-wee,that would be 3 not 5. ;D

You mean 3? My balls and my wee-wee,that would be 3 not 5. ;D


I make it EIGHT ( 3 + 5 )  ?    ::)

Actually ... make that 3 + 5 + 5 ...... since I ASSUME .... you've got two feet ?

My mathematical genius .... computes that to be 13 ?

Actually ... make that 3 + 5 + 5 ...... since I ASSUME .... you've got two feet ?



Yes I got 2 feet.  ::)

Yes I got 2 feet.  ::)



I suppose you wear gloves .... as opposed to 'mittens' ... so ... another ten to add .... 23 (not so 'unlucky' ) .... to protect your vital extremities ? 

Men will give another Man credit for a good Fart!


Subsection of that law:

Men with truly horrific gas will join the Navy, and become bubbleheads.  :D

Ant

I suppose you wear gloves .... as opposed to 'mittens' ... so ... another ten to add .... 23 (not so 'unlucky' ) .... to protect your vital extremities ?   



Yes I wear gloves.

Men Will NOT use air-freshener in their own bathroom no matter how bad it smells.


Extension: Men who live alone should not own air-freshenerhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/bootyshake.gif

Dad 'stinks' ?     ???            :-X                ;D

Men will not own a dog described as teacup, poodles or any other small breed of dog.

When passing another man in a tight area were contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "Fag" may be deamed necessary.

When passing another man in a tight area were contact is possible, hole to hole or pole to pole is only acceptable. If it is pole to pole no eye contact should be made. If any detour from this is spotted by any onlooking men, possible labels such as "Fag" may be deamed necessary.



I second that one

Men will not own a dog described as teacup, poodles or any other small breed of dog.




nor should a single man own a cat unless that cat is a tiger or a lion.

A man will never acknowledge that his but hurts for any reason...especially in the presence of other men...or after a campling trip with other men. LOL 8-P

A man will never acknowledge that his but hurts for any reason...especially in the presence of other men...or after a campling trip with other men. LOL 8-P


lmao

No man will watch movies (or make it know that he has watched movies) such as Brokeback mountain or other movies that revolve around homosexual relationships unless that relationship is between women.

Fashion Man Laws...
Men will not wear clothes that are 2 sizes too small. (or looks like their little brothers or sons shirt.)

Men will not shop in certain stores (even if they do sell "mens" clothes). These include but are not limited to Aeropostale, Banana Republic, American Eagle, etc.

Fashion Man Laws...
Men will not wear clothes that are 2 sizes too small. (or looks like their little brothers or sons shirt.)

Men will not shop in certain stores (even if they do sell "mens" clothes). These include but are not limited to Aeropostale, Banana Republic, American Eagle, etc.


Extension:Men will not wear make up at all. This includes balck nail polish and eye liner/shadow. The only acception is halloween

Men will not listen to Celine Dion, even if it does get them lucky.

Men will not listen to Celine Dion, even if it does get them lucky.



Man with GOOD taste will not be caught listening (even dead) ..... to 'Achy Breaky Heart' !    8-P    :P      ;D

Man with GOOD taste will not be caught listening (even dead) ..... to 'Achy Breaky Heart' !    8-P     :P      ;D


I must give Kudos, Karma and a huge High Fice to Mr. Mister for this Man Law!

Men will not listen to Celine Dion, even if it does get them lucky.

Just a note to my own post...all men will become suffer from Nausea when hearing "My Heart Goes On (Titanic Theme)"

I must give Kudos, Karma and a huge High Fice to Mr. Mister for this Man Law!



And right back atcha .... 'Nasty'  !    8)    ;D

Just a note to my own post...all men will become suffer from Nausea when hearing "My Heart Goes On (Titanic Theme)"


second note... men should NOT watch Titanic!

second note... men should NOT watch Titanic!


Third note... men will not watch The Notebook

I must give Kudos, Karma and a huge High Fice to Mr. Mister for this Man Law!


High Fice?
What is Fice?
Hahaha!

Men must not, under any circumstances, admit they "can't do" anything.

If a man pulls out his tools then it is fixed. Even if it is still broken or ends up worse that before, it is fixed. No Ifs Ands or Buts about it.

I'd like to give you the 100, 'Son' .... but at LEAST I can 'prime' you .....














:)                                                                  8)

Man must keep duct tape in tool box. Duct tape only tool man need. 



But man like tool that go whir-whir.  Buy man fancy tool that make noise...but man still use duct tape first. Duct tape good. 


*now grunt like Tim Allen*

Never ever take food from another man's plate unless he offers to you.  If you make this mistake, your hand will be speared with a fork  >:(

Men Will NOT use air-freshener in their own bathroom no matter how bad it smells.


Extension: Men who live alone should not own air-freshenerhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/11/bootyshake.gif


Well I would. ;D

Men will not drink flavored, decaffeinated or hyphenated coffee.  When in a Starbucks they will ask for a small, medium or large.

Men will not drink flavored, decaffeinated or hyphenated coffee.  When in a Starbucks they will ask for a small, medium or large.



That's right we get what we want and then leave,we don't waste time in Starbucks like some women asking for whipped cream or foam in their coffee,they take up the line. ::)

like Mrs. Swan on Mad TV

Most hilarious video ever

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3536365301794670062&ei=-FBRSdmjNYvCrQLjsIzzCw&q=ms+swan+at+starbucks

Man will never drink alcohol through a straw

Men will not drink flavored, decaffeinated or hyphenated coffee.  When in a Starbucks they will ask for a small, medium or large.


  Good one!  A lowfat grandè caramel macchiato lattè with whipped cream?  Where am I, in a French gay bar..?

   Good one!  A lowfat grandè caramel macchiato lattè with whipped cream?  Where am I, in a French gay bar..?


That's why in Dunkin Donuts I always order a small coffee with cream and sugar and that's it,I don't go ordering a coffee or latte or a machiatto like some people I know. ::)

That's why in Dunkin Donuts I always order a small coffee with cream and sugar and that's it,I don't go ordering a coffee or latte or a machiatto like some people I know. ::)


I go to Starbucks, but I order a small black coffee.  They used to say "talle" when I said small, and I would give them "the look".  They don't say anything anymore.  ;D

Men like to piss standing up and that's the way we like it.  ;D

Men like to piss standing up and that's the way we like it.  ;D


Unless stuck in traffic when a coffee cup or soda bottle will do    8-P

Men like to piss standing up and that's the way we like it.  ;D


Extension: Men PISS, women PEE.

Extension: Men PISS, women PEE.



we stick it out and women squat.  ;D

Unless stuck in traffic when a coffee cup or soda bottle will do    8-P


or a pee bottle. ;D

But man like tool that go whir-whir.  Buy man fancy tool that make noise...but man still use duct tape first. Duct tape good. 


Noisy tool no longer go whir-whir.  Tool FUBAR.  Man use duct tape on tool to hold battery contact in place.  FUBAR tool go whir-whir again, is now only SNAFU.  Foo Bar grunt!  Foo Bar scratchum bbcode in message board with pointy stick!

(Foo Bar happy.  Foo Bar get to use smoky tool tomorrow.  Melt-um solder with hot pointy stick, fix-um whir-whir tool proper, but duct tape good enough for today.)

men like chicken with breasts thighs and legs just like a hot woman. ;D ;)

   Never get your meat where you get your bread...

   (Never date women you work with...)


I've always known that one as "Never dip your quill in the company ink" lol

When Men fill out an application the always respond to themselves or out loud if need be yes to the question SEX...Male is never their first thought!

Can we get this topic posted to the Front Page?  It is important for men of the World to unite and form our Laws to live by!

When Men fill out an application the always respond to themselves or out loud if need be yes to the question SEX...Male is never their first thought!


Does it also refer to a job application?  ;D

Can we get this topic posted to the Front Page?  It is important for men of the World to unite and form our Laws to live by!



Don't think this is quite front page material, or even page 2, or even 12

Don't think this is quite front page material, or even page 2, or even 12


This is man material.  ;D

Does it also refer to a job application?  ;D

It certainly does apply!

Don't think this is quite front page material, or even page 2, or even 12

I feel you are discounting the importance of Men sticking together, and setting our own laws.

I feel you are discounting the importance of Men sticking together, and setting our own laws.


....mmmmmmmNOPE    ;D

It certainly does apply!


Ok then YES please!  ;D

Rules for males riding Shotgun:

Whoever calls shotgun gets it. The driver cannot decide who gets shotgun. If shotgun cannot be decided then the two disputers bust be subject to a game of rock paper scissors--no shoot! If they tie two times in a row then they must then be subject to a caged UFC match. The first to draw blood gets the seat. If a femal shows interest in the shotgun spot then the dirver has the power to give her the seat and if the situation calls the dirver can kick his friends out of the car and leave them rideless.

When in a hurry to pee,men urinate by a tree. ;D

When you Pee shake three times only...anymore is playing with it.

When you Pee shake three times only...anymore is playing with it.



What about for a woman,Does she have to shake it?  ;D

What about for a woman,Does she have to shake it?  ;D


This is Man Law. 

This is Man Law. 


It should be Woman Law.

Men should never drive girlie cars like the VW Cabriolet or Mazda Miata.  If you must drive one of these vehicles (hopefully only in the event that your car has broken down and you are using a girlfriends car to get from point A to B) do not zip around town with the top down blasting chick music like No Doubt, Sheryl Crow, etc.

Men will not allow their wives or girlfriends to decorate their vehicle with such items as Tinker Bell or Princess...even if it is her vehicle, the man may have to drive it one day.

When you Pee shake three times only...anymore is playing with it.


I'd always heard that if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.

Meaning that if you've been going by the "three shakes" rule then you've been playing with it all this time and you haven't even realized it.  :o :o :o

I'd always heard that if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.

Meaning that if you've been going by the "three shakes" rule then you've been playing with it all this time and you haven't even realized it.  :o :o :o


Hey...three shakes and it's all over for me anyway!  ::)

I'd always heard that if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.


What about if we let our girlfriends play with it?  ;D

What about if we let our girlfriends play with it?  ;D


That reminds me of a joke:

A newlywed couple are lying in bed on their honeymoon, and the wife is very shy when it comes to discussing sex. They both are lying there in awkward silence when finally the wife speaks up. "Honey, we need to figure out some kind of code...some way I can let you know if I want to do it." The husband replies, "Well, how about this: If you want to do it, just reach over and tug once on my pee-pee." "What if I don't want to do it?" asks the wife. The husband replies, "Then tug on it 300 times."  ;D ;D ;D

Noisy tool no longer go whir-whir.  Tool FUBAR.  Man use duct tape on tool to hold battery contact in place.  FUBAR tool go whir-whir again, is now only SNAFU.  Foo Bar grunt!  Foo Bar scratchum bbcode in message board with pointy stick!

(Foo Bar happy.  Foo Bar get to use smoky tool tomorrow.  Melt-um solder with hot pointy stick, fix-um whir-whir tool proper, but duct tape good enough for today.)



;D

Men should not stand around stores holding the purse while their women shop  ;D

Men should not stand around stores holding the purse while their women shop  ;D


Yes they should!  ;D

Men should not stand around stores holding the purse while their women shop  ;D
or a diaper bag - my husband made me buy a plain black one (so he was not caught with one of those pastel one's with pooh or something on it)
;D ;D ;D ;D

there is no such thing as a man bag. Any man who has a man bag is actually carrying a purse  ;D

No man should be caught in a nail salon having a pedi or a mani; if this is necessity then go to a private room or something ;)

No man should be caught in a nail salon having a pedi or a mani; if this is necessity then go to a private room or something ;)


yeah just because they call it a mani-pedi doesn't mean it was made for man  ;D

there is no such thing as a man bag. Any man who has a man bag is actually carrying a purse  ;D


Unless it's a tool bag.  Those are pretty manly.

Unless it's a tool bag.  Those are pretty manly.


;D  as long as it's not a pink tool bag

there is no such thing as a man bag. Any man who has a man bag is actually carrying a purse  ;D


Finally....some common ground!  ;)

or a diaper bag - my husband made me buy a plain black one (so he was not caught with one of those pastel one's with pooh or something on it)
;D ;D ;D ;D


Definitely an issue this one. We end up standing there with handbag and baby bag ....filled with unmentionables...AND we smell bad! Very emasculating! ;D

Definitely an issue this one. We end up standing there with handbag and baby bag ....filled with unmentionables...AND we smell bad! Very emasculating! ;D
I was talking about winnie the pooh silly - not baby pooh.  ;D ;D ;D

Take a shower if you smell that bad ;D ;D ;D

Oh and what about soap - there has to be a man rule regarding soap - is it strictly bar soap, or are men ok with bath gel????

I was talking about winnie the pooh silly - not baby pooh.  ;D ;D ;D

Take a shower if you smell that bad ;D ;D ;D

Oh and what about soap - there has to be a man rule regarding soap - is it strictly bar soap, or are men ok with bath gel????


I only use those alternatives if I'm actually in the shower (and already wet) when I realize the soap is gone. Usually, I fail to find the gel or body wash (or whatever it's called) and end up using using God only knows what....because there are at least 8 bottles in there and I don't have my glasses. It could be shampoo or conditioner I end up using. Then I smell way too nice! >:(

I only use those alternatives if I'm actually in the shower (and already wet) when I realize the soap is gone. Usually, I fail to find the gel or body wash (or whatever it's called) and end up using using God only knows what....because there are at least 8 bottles in there and I don't have my glasses. It could be shampoo or conditioner I end up using. Then I smell way too nice! >:(
So man rule - 1 bar of soap and no more than one shampoo in the shower at all times??????? ;D ;D ;D

So man rule - 1 bar of soap and no more than one shampoo in the shower at all times??????? ;D ;D ;D


...and men should only spend up to 15 minutes in the bathroom.....and that includes shaving time! Usually, I'm out of bed, shaved, showered and dressed in that 15 minutes! 8)

man shall not use soap that contains a smell other than "clean" if the soap smells like flowers or coconut then that soap was not made for man.


Man shall become deaf the instant he becomes a father but the deafness is selective. Man shall automatically lose his hearing anytime the baby cries, but especially if the baby cries and man is already in bed.

Man shall also stop listening the minute his woman says "Honey can you" or "Honey will you"  ;D

man shall not use soap that contains a smell other than "clean" if the soap smells like flowers or coconut then that soap was not made for man.


Man shall become deaf the instant he becomes a father but the deafness is selective. Man shall automatically lose his hearing anytime the baby cries, but especially if the baby cries and man is already in bed.

Man shall also stop listening the minute his woman says "Honey can you" or "Honey will you"  ;D
Wow! You're good, are you sure you haven't been married and a mom somewhere in your life????


;D ;D ;D ;D

Wow! You're good, are you sure you haven't been married and a mom somewhere in your life????


;D ;D ;D ;D


no just a casual observer.... funny how somethings are just universal to the gender  ;D

Men should not stand around stores holding the purse while their women shop  ;D



men have fannypacks,women have purses.

men have fannypacks,women have purses.


men should not carry fanny packs.

men should not wear socks with sandals

men should not wear white socks with black shoes

men should not... oops I think I slipped into women's rules for men  ;D

men should not carry fanny packs.

men should not wear socks with sandals

men should not wear white socks with black shoes

men should not... oops I think I slipped into women's rules for men  ;D



Should we wear underwear too?  ::)

Should we wear underwear too?  ::)


Should we wear underwear too?  ::)


men should never go commando....especially when wearing shorts... or sweats! ;D

men should never go commando....especially when wearing shorts... or sweats! ;D



not even in our birthday suits?

not even in our birthday suits?


men should not be in their birthday suits...unless said man is Shemar Moore.

men should not be in their birthday suits...unless said man is Shemar Moore.


Well I'm no Shemar Moore.

Well I'm no Shemar Moore.


then please keep your clothes on at all times....yes even in the shower  ;D

then please keep your clothes on at all times....yes even in the shower  ;D



I shower in the nude,How else am I going to wash my twig and berries? ::)

before you smite me....remember Howard started it.  ;D

before you smite me....remember Howard started it.  ;D



and I'm finishing it. ;)

before you smite me....remember Howard started it.  ;D
Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 24 hours. ;D ;D ;D

and I'm finishing it. ;)


Finished so soon Howard?  You can get medication for that!  ;)

Finished so soon Howard?  You can get medication for that!  ;)
Is there a man law about those "medications"???????? 

Is a man allowed to brag about taking them?????

Or is it a hidden secret, much like oopsing ones pants?????

::) ::) ::)

;D ;D ;D

Is there a man law about those "medications"???????? 

Is a man allowed to brag about taking them?????

Or is it a hidden secret, much like oopsing ones pants?????

::) ::) ::)

;D ;D ;D


I was talking about Howard...NOT real men! ;)  Of course real men don't need such aids.....that IS a rule! 8)

I was talking about Howard...NOT real men! ;)  Of course real men don't need such aids.....that IS a rule! 8)
THanks for clarifying ;D ;D ;D

Finished so soon Howard?  You can get medication for that!  ;)


No,finishing this silly arguement. ::)

It is alright for men to call Breast Hooters, Knockers, and occasionally snack tray.

It is alright for men to call Breast Hooters, Knockers, and occasionally snack tray.



love balloons,milk wagons and basketballs. ;D

I must give proper credit for my last post. It is from the 10 Commandments for No Ma'am from the old Married With Children sitcom. The rest were as follows..
they are:

1.  It is OK to call hooters 'knockers' and sometimes snack trays
2.  It is wrong to be French
3.  It is OK to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder
4.  Lawyers, see rule three
5.  It is OK to drive a gas-guzzler if it helps you get babes
6.  Everyone should car pool except us
7.  Bring back the word stewardesses
8.  Synchronized swimming is not a sport
9.  Mud wrestling is a sport
It is also brought to the attention of Al that there are only 9 not 10.

A Man will remember how he treated his girlfriends when a young gent strolls up to his door to take out his daughter  ::)

A Man will remember how he treated his girlfriends when a young gent strolls up to his door to take out his daughter   ::)

He will also remember to clean his shot gun!

He will also remember to clean his shot gun!


Clean, dirty, don't think it will matter  ;D

I always tell my kids when the first date shows up I will sitting in my undies cleaing my gun with some death metal on...just to scare the boys a bit.

It is alright for men to call Breast Hooters, Knockers, and occasionally snack tray.


What about "funbags?"  ;D

What about "funbags?"  ;D


or milk balloons,milk wagons and titties.  ;D

Thank you Howard for your addition to this thread. 

Don't encourage him. ::)

I think Howard is a major contributer to this thread and I am a fan of his input.

I think Howard is a major contributer to this thread and I am a fan of his input.




Please, DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!!!! You are dealing with powers here you can't possible imagine.



Cat

MAN LAW>>>
Men will encourage their fellow man to speak freely (when their spouse isn't around)

Please, DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!!!! You are dealing with powers here you can't possible imagine.



Cat


I think he is just going to have to learn for himself how far Howard can go when encouraged.

I think he is just going to have to learn for himself how far Howard can go when encouraged.



Yup. You know what they say, you can't TELL a child that the stove is hot-he has to touch it for himself.



Cat

Yup. You know what they say, you can't TELL a child that the stove is hot-he has to touch it for himself.



Cat


Exactly. ;D

Yup. You know what they say, you can't TELL a child that the stove is hot-he has to touch it for himself.



Cat
But we all don't have to feel the pain ::) ::) ::)

;)
;D ;D

But we all don't have to feel the pain ::) ::) ::)

;)
;D ;D



Yeah, so true. When someone encourages Howard, we all feel it.



Cat

Yeah, so true. When someone encourages Howard, we all feel it.



Cat


never... and I mean NEVER... use the words "Howard" & "feel it" in the same post  ;D

never... and I mean NEVER... use the words "Howard" & "feel it" in the same post  ;D
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/04/dogrun.gifRun away - quick

;D ;D

ANother MAN RULE - TV's can never be too big (ours just came - I swear it is toooooooo big :-\\ :-\\ :-\\)

Fits on the TV stand that is all that matters

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/04/dogrun.gifRun away - quick

;D ;D

ANother MAN RULE - TV's can never be too big (ours just came - I swear it is toooooooo big :-\\ :-\\ :-\\)

Fits on the TV stand that is all that matters




that's not a man law that's the Law of Q...

there is no such thing as too much TV

... you can translate that to mean the size of TV or the amount of TV you consume in a day.... either translation will be deemed accurate  ;D

that's not a man law that's the Law of Q...

there is no such thing as too much TV

... you can translate that to mean the size of TV or the amount of TV you consume in a day.... either translation will be deemed accurate  ;D
Well I can now play wii "lifesize" ;D ;D ;D

Well I can now play wii "lifesize" ;D ;D ;D


I don't know if I'm ready for a lifesize mii  ;D



additional man law

men do not "play" video games...they practice alternate strategies for potential 'real world' scenarios.  ;D

Don't encourage him. ::)



Oh leave him alone. ;D

Thank you Howard for your addition to this thread. 



Oh you're welcome.  ;)

A man is the King of his Castle, until his wife gets home or if she lets him!

welcome back! My guess is she let you be king last night...but the queen has probably taken the reins once again.

I am the head of the household...

to quote my wife "She is the neck and controls the head!"

I am the head of the household...

to quote my wife "She is the neck and controls the head!"



She's also the brains.... without brains the head is useless
  ;D

A man is the King of his Castle, until his wife gets home or if she lets him!


This means he doesn't have to clean the castle!

A man is the King of his Castle, until his wife gets home or if she lets him!



and then have sex.

If variety is the spice of life...
Then Variety in Sex is like HOT Cayenne spices.

If variety is the spice of life...
Then Variety in Sex is like HOT Cayenne spices.



sex is like hot peppers.

Just never us Hot Peppers during sex...OUCH!  :\'(

Just never us Hot Peppers during sex...OUCH!  :\'(


Yum,Hot Pepper sex sounds inviting. :P

The Wife is Always Right....Until the Husband tells her she is not!  :o










I Love You Tam

Was there a man law regarding the remote - my husband just got home and took the remote and changed the channel >:(

I am sorry but as a man it is his right to do this...after all it is a Man Law.

Furthermore if the main TV in the house also has the video game connected to it then he has the right to turn off what you are watching to play a game.

Sorry, it's a testicle thing and you wouldn't understand.  ;)

I am sorry but as a man it is his right to do this...after all it is a Man Law.

Furthermore if the main TV in the house also has the video game connected to it then he has the right to turn off what you are watching to play a game.

Sorry, it's a testicle thing and you wouldn't understand.  ;)
OOOOOOH that explains my ability to walk in front of the TV topless, man follows - he then later falls asleep, and TV is all mine again ;)

Brains thing, you wouldn't understand ;)



;D ;D ;D

OOOOOOH that explains my ability to walk in front of the TV topless, man follows - he then later falls asleep, and TV is all mine again ;)

Brains thing, you wouldn't understand ;)



;D ;D ;D

Those type of actions are not fair at all...

Those type of actions are not fair at all...
Fair - who plays fair ::)

Silly boy!

   
(Never date women you work with...)


I go by this law, mainly because I think it will end up a disaster.

Was there a man law regarding the remote - my husband just got home and took the remote and changed the channel >:(


So? Do the same to him later in the evening.  ;D

What is the statute o limitations for a man to date an ex- of his friend? Certainly there should be a man law regarding this.

What is the statute o limitations for a man to date an ex- of his friend? Certainly there should be a man law regarding this.
Depends on if the friend is disposable or not ::)

My friends and I promised to never date an ex- of anybody we hung out with.  I mean like a good friend and his/her hot ex.

My friends and I promised to never date an ex- of anybody we hung out with.  I mean like a good friend and his/her hot ex.



A good thing is to just move on.

men do not sit together when they go to see a movie. if 2 or more men go to the movie theatre, they must always leave an empty seat between them. it's a man law

men do not sit together when they go to see a movie. if 2 or more men go to the movie theatre, they must always leave an empty seat between them. it's a man law



Should we save it for a hot woman?  ;)

men do not sit together when they go to see a movie. if 2 or more men go to the movie theatre, they must always leave an empty seat between them. it's a man law


Haha...so true. I went to the movies with my best friend and we left a seat vacant between us! Well, you never know when a good looking girl will just want to sit between two middle aged balding pervs!  ;)

When I was growing up there was a man law that men didn't wear shorts. This is a bit distressing to me now because Sig started wearing them about 2 years ago. 

When I was growing up there was a man law that men didn't wear shorts. This is a bit distressing to me now because Sig started wearing them about 2 years ago. 


Men wear shorts all the time over here....especially in summer!

Haha...so true. I went to the movies with my best friend and we left a seat vacant between us! Well, you never know when a good looking girl will just want to sit between two middle aged balding pervs!  ;)



and what if an ugly girl sits there? ;D

Men wear shorts all the time over here....especially in summer!


They do now, but but when I was growing up, way back in the 50s, it was unusual.  Most men, at that time, likened wearing shorts to putting a bow in your hair   ;D

They do now, but but when I was growing up, way back in the 50s, it was unusual.  Most men, at that time, likened wearing shorts to putting a bow in your hair   ;D


That's ghey!

They do now, but but when I was growing up, way back in the 50s, it was unusual.  Most men, at that time, likened wearing shorts to putting a bow in your hair   ;D


I remember my Dad (who was a teacher) and my own teachers wearing shorts in the classroom with long socks in Summer. Except for the Winter season (which can be very mild here) I have always worn shorts. Mind you...shorts can be down to the knees these days!

Anyway....Magnum wore shorts in the 70's...and he did okay!  ;D

I remember my Dad (who was a teacher) and my own teachers wearing shorts in the classroom with long socks in Summer. Except for the Winter season (which can be very mild here) I have always worn shorts. Mind you...shorts can be down to the knees these days!

Anyway....Magnum wore shorts in the 70's...and he did okay!  ;D


Were you ever afraid of showing too much leg?

Were you ever afraid of showing too much leg?


In the late 70's I don't think the shorts I wore for sports (tennis and squash) could get any shorter! They even had a split up the side... :o

In the late 70's I don't think the shorts I wore for sports (tennis and squash) could get any shorter! They even had a split up the side... :o


I remember when basketball players protested the shorts they were required to wear.  There was a big to do about the longer shorts, but they had to concede when Michael Jordan demanded the longer shorts.  True story.

In the late 70's I don't think the shorts I wore for sports (tennis and squash) could get any shorter! They even had a split up the side... :o


Which split are you referring to,the split where the crotch meets?  :o

Which split are you referring to,the split where the crotch meets?  :o


well if your crotch is at the side then, yes, that is where he means.






::)

In the late 70's I don't think the shorts I wore for sports (tennis and squash) could get any shorter! They even had a split up the side... :o



Now here is a picture with a lot of potential

http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/multimedia/photo_gallery/0905/nba.best.playoff.series/images/1970.willis-reed.jpg

well if your crotch is at the side then, yes, that is where he means.






::)


Wow,that's a split I wouldn't want any girl to see.  :-[

well if your crotch is at the side then, yes, that is where he means.






::)


;D  I don't think I will say anymore on this particular subject!

When talking with your wife, never try to solve her problems or provide her several solutions. Just listen and feel for her.

When talking with your wife, never try to solve her problems or provide her several solutions. Just listen and feel for her.


Then we have the sex.  ;D ;)

Then we have the sex.  ;D ;)

Sometimes it works out that way. But if you aren't sincere, you won't get anything.

All men must celebrate birthdays at Hooters.http://noshades.lutzkicksass.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/1hooters.jpg O0

Sometimes it works out that way. But if you aren't sincere, you won't get anything.


Of course I will.

All men must celebrate birthdays at Hooters.http://noshades.lutzkicksass.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/1hooters.jpg O0

Good luck with that one Howard.

Good luck with that one Howard.


Don't you celebrate your birthday at Hooters?  ;) ;D

Don't you celebrate your birthday at Hooters?  ;) ;D

Don't think I have even been to any hooters before.

If something goes wrong with the car always check "under the hood", even if they don't quite know what they are looking at  ;D

Don't think I have even been to any hooters before.


Hey,you don't know what your missing,How could you go wrong with big beautiful breasted women?  ;) ;D

Man Laws


1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.



2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

c. After wrecking your boss' car.

d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

e. When she is using her teeth.

Man Laws


1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.



2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

c. After wrecking your boss' car.

d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

e. When she is using her teeth.



Men do not watch the Crying Game.

Men do not watch the Crying Game.


I don't watch it either,Jaye Davidson doesn't impress me.

I don't watch it either,Jaye Davidson doesn't impress me.

I have never seen the film.

Men do not watch the Crying Game.


I watched it once and want my hour and a half back. ::)

I have never seen the film.


You wouldn't want to see the part where they make out and he realizes that Jaye has a penis and she really does in real life.