Why am I always seeing people in their 20s pretending to be old? There are people in their late 20s who say they're old (although they aren't), but at least I can see why they would believe that. I guess if you're pushing 30, you might feel old. However, it's still usually a gross exaggeration of age.

And then there are those in their EARLY 20s who act like they're cavemen age. C'mon man, that is just ridiculous. If they are not saying they're old, then they're pretending to be 30+. For example, there is the one guy I know. He's only 21 years old but he swears he's 30. He loves to talk down on teenagers for not remembering a certain time period. That time period is often the early 2000s-mid 2000s. He was 8 in 2004 but talks like he was a teenager then. He completely overstates his attendance to pop culture as an 8 year old. It's so ridiculous. Or when 22 year olds reminisce on their childhoods and then say that they're old because things have changed since they were a kid. 

Some seem to think youth stops at 19. It's like people get a little taste of what it's like to be an adult and they go nuts with it. These people are gonna spend their 20s trying to be old and then soon enough, they actually will be. And all the time they could've spent in their 20s being youthful is gonna be wasted. Once they hit a certain age, they're gonna wish they were in their 20s again. Then they'll see how young your 20s really are whether you're 21 or 28. It's a waste of energy. What do y'all think about this situation?

There's actually a somewhat obscure, but quite good, song that touches upon the topic you are broaching. "Janie" by Paris. Paris was a very short lived band by the late Bob Welch, between the time he was in Fleetwood Mac and the time he began his solo career. The song came out circa 1976 and is quite mid/late 70s sounding. These lyrics seems to sum up what you are saying:

"Little boys and little girl build castles in the sand
Thinking it’s the way that things will be
And they pretend
So the biggest dreamers who are mild when they are young
Turn wild in a panic
Somewhere after 21…"

Here the song here:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR_OwDW6IuI

I don't know why but captain cave man got in my head

There likely are a few reasons for it. First, many young adults need and want to be treated like young adults, not children. This is especially true for young men. Sadly, we live in an era of absurd infantilization in which young adults are treated like children. Second, life often greatly changes after high school graduation. You move on to college and/or work, and your life isn't the same as people who are still in teenage life. I felt older than I was, when I was in my late teens to early twenties, for this very reason. This phenomenon is even greater for young adults who join the military, and it may be at its greatest for those who are married, with children.

It's all relative. A person can only feel as old as they are. For example, for a 21 year old, 21 is the oldest they've ever been, so already they are feeling a "nostalgia" of sorts for what has come before, and they remember they used to be younger. This is why I refrain from the cliched and patronizing response of "I WISH I was your age!" that a person my age usually gives to someone who is 20 or 21 who says "oh I'm soooo old". I remember what it was like when I was that age and I felt old too. So I respect their feelings. Though, truth be told, when they get to be my age they WILL wish they were 21 again.  ;D ;D

It's all relative. A person can only feel as old as they are. For example, for a 21 year old, 21 is the oldest they've ever been, so already they are feeling a "nostalgia" of sorts for what has come before, and they remember they used to be younger. This is why I refrain from the cliched and patronizing response of "I WISH I was your age!" that a person my age usually gives to someone who is 20 or 21 who says "oh I'm soooo old". I remember what it was like when I was that age and I felt old too. So I respect their feelings. Though, truth be told, when they get to be my age they WILL wish they were 21 again.  ;D ;D


That's true. I recall looking at high school kids, who were a few years younger than me at the time, at the mall when I was in my late teens or early twenties. I looked at their jackets, with their graduation years on them, and I thought, "I wish that I was still 16!"  :) We also stayed away from places where there were too many "kids", some of whom were all of two years younger than us.

That's true. I recall looking at high school kids, who were a few years younger than me at the time, at the mall when I was in my late teens or early twenties. I looked at their jackets, with their graduation years on them, and I thought, "I wish that I was still 16!"  :) We also stayed away from places where there were too many "kids", some of whom were all of two years younger than us.


Though I must say that never for a SECOND did I ever wish I was back in high school. High school was like a prison to me. The feeling of freedom of being out of high school and into college (or whatever one is doing after high school) is absolutely palpable. An entire new world of adventure opens up both in the days and the nights. And it was even more so in my day because there was no internet. One had to go out and discover this adventure. Now in many cases  kids know about everything before they even get out of high school without having to go and physically discover and experience it.

Though I must say that never for a SECOND did I ever wish I was back in high school. High school was like a prison to me. The feeling of freedom of being out of high school and into college (or whatever one is doing after high school) is absolutely palpable. An entire new world of adventure opens up both in the days and the nights. And it was even more so in my day because there was no internet. One had to go out and discover this adventure. Now in many cases  kids know about everything before they even get out of high school without having to go and physically discover and experience it.


I get that. I felt the same way about junior hell school. They were the worst three years of my youth, and going to senior high school was like going from night to day. I felt reborn and renewed after I put that emotional torture chamber, run and staffed by sadists, in the rear view mirror, and I never looked back.

There likely are a few reasons for it. First, many young adults need and want to be treated like young adults, not children. This is especially true for young men. Sadly, we live in an era of absurd infantilization in which young adults are treated like children. Second, life often greatly changes after high school graduation. You move on to college and/or work, and your life isn't the same as people who are still in teenage life. I felt older than I was, when I was in my late teens to early twenties, for this very reason. This phenomenon is even greater for young adults who join the military, and it may be at its greatest for those who are married, with children.

I get you're going through life changes and whatnot. However, it would just more sense to view yourself as a "young adult" at that point rather than "old."  You're tacking on more responsibility because you're becoming an adult and I think that perspective should be embraced rather than just saying I'm old now lol. I mean, some say it as tongue in cheek but others seem more serious.

I can't speak for the early 20 somethings, but as someone turning 28, with a girlfriend who is turning 25, we're coming to an age where you take stock of all that has been, and all that may be. And also, although we're young, it certainly seems the world has changed a great deal in our brief time. Consider, for example, how different the world was technologically, and thus socially, in the year I was born, in 1990. Only a very primitive internet, and no social media; it was mainly used by academics and college students; no websites. Cell phones were an item only the upper middle class and wealthy had. To contact someone you had to rely on timing, and even on payphones or beepers for more middle class people. No streaming movie or television services. No DVDs or Blu Rays. House phones had cords. Video games were 2D and very graphically primitive and there was no World of Warcraft or even anything similar to it. There was no Uber, no Ubereats, no DoorDash, no Grubhub. It was a different world which I was born into, even if I can only remember small parts of that older world. And truly old people I marvel at, for all the change THEY'VE seen.

I get you're going through life changes and whatnot. However, it would just more sense to view yourself as a "young adult" at that point rather than "old."  You're tacking on more responsibility because you're becoming an adult and I think that perspective should be embraced rather than just saying I'm old now lol. I mean, some say it as tongue in cheek but others seem more serious.


Maybe all of the life changes just make them feel old because they now live in the adult world. They see how different it is from high school, and this huge difference just makes them think that they now are "old". Rapid changes in culture and technology might play roles too. This leads to more generational divisions that might not have existed in the past.

I don't think old is the word, but yes, they are becoming an adult.  The role of parents is now to fit into their lives and not to keep treating them like a kid  ( impossible with my mom  even my working brother Joel))  anyway that's one reason to act older, to get their parents to back off

Let me explain, in the south it seems like those in their 20's & up want to keep themselves distant from teenagers as much as possible and they feel very old and very grown up, and they will pretend to be old too like they didn't grow up with the modern technology and pop culture we're in now. Heck, 25% or a little more of my friends & acquaintances from high school are already married or have children. When it comes to folks from the city up north or far west coast, those 20 year old's will act as young and free as possible, and they don't care if they act immature too. They love every new pop culture, new music, and trend that goes on up to date. I know adults in their early 30's who love Snapchat and Instagram everyday and they don't even look 30. This is what I've seen visually. Your thoughts may be different though.

Let me explain, in the south it seems like those in their 20's & up want to keep themselves distant from teenagers as much as possible and they feel very old and very grown up, and they will pretend to be old too like they didn't grow up with the modern technology and pop culture we're in now. Heck, 25% or a little more of my friends & acquaintances from high school are already married or have children. When it comes to folks from the city up north or far west coast, those 20 year old's will act as young and free as possible, and they don't care if they act immature too. They love every new pop culture, new music, and trend that goes on up to date. I know adults in their early 30's who love Snapchat and Instagram everyday and they don't even look 30. This is what I've seen visually. Your thoughts may be different though.
Facts, as someone who's interacted with a lot of 20-somethings in my town you are 100 percent right. This is more-so true in the rural south where it's more conservative and not much diversity in thought.  In my area 20-somethings are having kids left and right, they act like they never'd had a cell phone or used the internet in their youth, they wanna say stuff like "kids these days are spoiled, back in my day we respected our parents or else we got our butts whooped", "what does lit means".  It's kinda funny how 20-somethings are considered old in the south when they have grandparents and some even great-grandparents that look at 20-somethings as little kids.  I'm the opposite in that regard because most of my friends are teenagers and grew up similar to how I grew up despite the age difference. Sure they have had more technology in their childhoods then I did, but they still understand a more simplistic childhood. I talked to a 2003 born in my town who didn't know what an Xbox was until he was in 4th grade which was mind-blowing because by that point every kid I talked to was aware of gaming consoles.  Today's generation of kids aren't so bad, it's just the media and our lack of understanding make us intimated by younger people. Heck, when I was a teenager I had adults make fun of for texting and not being outside.  The Gen Z'ers in my town are still pretty active but just have more ways to communicate, they still respect their parents for the most part, and surprisingly can talk about mature and intellectual conversations. Heck, I've had mature conversations with late 00s borns in my area so that's saying something that you can't always judge a book by it's cover.

Age is all relative period. 20 somethings are “old” compared to the 12-14 year olds or something even if they’re babies to older adults. I’m 31 and I feel young compared to my 65 year old parents but compared to 16-21 year olds I feel kinda old. A 100 year old would tell an 80 year old “hey why are you saying you’re old, you’re only 80 you’re a youngster compared to me.”  ;D

Age is all relative period. 20 somethings are “old” compared to the 12-14 year olds or something even if they’re babies to older adults. I’m 31 and I feel young compared to my 65 year old parents but compared to 16-21 year olds I feel kinda old. A 100 year old would tell an 80 year old “hey why are you saying you’re old, you’re only 80 you’re a youngster compared to me.”  ;D


I've been waiting to see you on this site again! A lot to talk about  ;D

Age is all relative period. 20 somethings are “old” compared to the 12-14 year olds or something even if they’re babies to older adults. I’m 31 and I feel young compared to my 65 year old parents but compared to 16-21 year olds I feel kinda old. A 100 year old would tell an 80 year old “hey why are you saying you’re old, you’re only 80 you’re a youngster compared to me.”  ;D
True, it's all relative