I was just thinking about how we all tend to favor our past, our growing up years..the carefree years of our childhood. We didn't have a worry, a care, a fret. It was all about blowing extra large bubbles with bubble gum and watching favorite cartoons while chomping on cereal on a Saturday morning....or was it?  I have noticed that people seem to remember the good from their past. They dwell on their past as if nothing bad ever happened. Yes, for most of us it was a more innocent time, but was it really as perfect as we all try to make it out to be?

I was thinking about some of the negative aspects of my younger years. The teasing that was administered to me by some stuck up girls, very very bad hair days and awkward stages of my life, a period when my parents fought a lot and I thought that they were going to split up, the endless spats with the neighborhood kids during the summer. Granted, they were nothing compared to some of today's standard of things to grieve over...but to a kid...they were tragic.

So, do you tend to look at your past through rose colored glasses...forgetting that, even though things appeared to be perfect, they really were not?

I think I'm realistic about my past.  I very much remember the bad things, but I try not to dwell on them.  It doesn't stop me from loving 80s music and movies more then alot of other eras...but there are also some 80s music/movies that I didn't like so, I don't think I wax poetic for my youth...I prefer to remember the good stuff more though.  lol

I tend to look at the past with a positive attitude as well. Sure, I went through some rough times (my dad's health struggles, being teased for being too tall, that sort of thing), but I try not to dwell on that too much. I had good friends, listened to great music, spent plenty of time outdoors, and watched lots of good television.  :)

One thing I do find funny though, is if I see some television program I used to LOVE from the 70s or 80s, and for some reason...now it's like...wow...why did I even like that?  It's pretty horrible.  Not all the time, but some of it.  ;D

what I'm saying though is....do you think a lot of people tend to portray their past as if everything was hunky dory, just because they tend to either forget about bad memories..or not dwell on them?

what I'm saying though is....do you think a lot of people tend to portray their past as if everything was hunky dory, just because they tend to either forget about bad memories..or not dwell on them?


I think some people do, but I think it might depend on what's going on in their lives at present.  Like I used to have a friend, who was totally yearning for her past, the days when her biggest happiness was sitting out on the porch with her best friend talking and laughing.  Meanwhile she had a beautiful baby daughter and a husband who was very accepting of her, and they weren't rich, but he did have a job (which was hard to come by in my small hometown.)  Instead of counting her blessings, she would complain everytime I saw her about one thing or another and she'd have (like you said) rose-colored glasses on about her teenage years. 
It seems to me that that is part of growing up, accepting and trying to make do with what life throws at you, trying to improve it without hurting anyone else, and not be stuck in the past (where you might have had a better life, or at least a less-stressful life).  I'm not sure what I'm trying to say really, but it's ok to look back in fondness, but not "living in the past"...if that makes any sense.

I was just thinking about how we all tend to favor our past, our growing up years..the carefree years of our childhood. We didn't have a worry, a care, a fret. It was all about blowing extra large bubbles with bubble gum and watching favorite cartoons while chomping on cereal on a Saturday morning....or was it?  I have noticed that people seem to remember the good from their past. They dwell on their past as if nothing bad ever happened. Yes, for most of us it was a more innocent time, but was it really as perfect as we all try to make it out to be?

I was thinking about some of the negative aspects of my younger years. The teasing that was administered to me by some stuck up girls, very very bad hair days and awkward stages of my life, a period when my parents fought a lot and I thought that they were going to split up, the endless spats with the neighborhood kids during the summer. Granted, they were nothing compared to some of today's standard of things to grieve over...but to a kid...they were tragic.

So, do you tend to look at your past through rose colored glasses...forgetting that, even though things appeared to be perfect, they really were not?


  I've atempted this kind of topic before, or have addressed it in other threads, but nobody wants to play.  I try to dwell on evils of times past at least once per day, even if only for a minute or two...

 

It seems to me that that is part of growing up, accepting and trying to make do with what life throws at you, trying to improve it without hurting anyone else

  That, like everything else, depends on how you were taught and at what point the notion that the deck is stacked begins to creep into your thoughts.  Nobody's life improves without sombody else's declining...



 

  I've atempted this kind of topic before, or have addressed it in other threads, but nobody wants to play.  I try to dwell on evils of times past at least once per day, even if only for a minute or two...

 


I'll play!! ;D :D

I'll play!! ;D :D



I was just thinking about how we all tend to favor our past, our growing up years..the carefree years of our childhood. We didn't have a worry, a care, a fret. It was all about blowing extra large bubbles with bubble gum and watching favorite cartoons while chomping on cereal on a Saturday morning....or was it?  I have noticed that people seem to remember the good from their past. They dwell on their past as if nothing bad ever happened. Yes, for most of us it was a more innocent time, but was it really as perfect as we all try to make it out to be?

So, do you tend to look at your past through rose colored glasses...forgetting that, even though things appeared to be perfect, they really were not?


  The greatest thing about this guys childhood is that he loved learning more than what he's learned.  Make sense..?

  Carefree?  No.  Perfect?  No.  Innocent?  Probably.  I've never gushed about my childhood, only related random sentiments and rememberances which are closer to still photographs than video clips anymore.  The music was a soundtrack, the Toob, a diversion which doesn't even hint at the shady s*hit going on all around and I'm not talking about tussels with the neighborhood kids or bad hair days...

  This site is dedicated to popular culture, so that's what we cover.  Boy-oh-boy do we cover it!  But in light of this guys younger years, pop culture is so utterly unimportant as to be nonexistent.  It is mere entertainment that has exerted zero influence over the course of my life.  It was only a diversion and a soundtrack...

I was thinking about some of the negative aspects of my younger years. The teasing that was administered to me by some stuck up girls, very very bad hair days and awkward stages of my life, a period when my parents fought a lot and I thought that they were going to split up, the endless spats with the neighborhood kids during the summer. Granted, they were nothing compared to some of today's standard of things to grieve over...but to a kid...they were tragic.

  Go on...

   

I'll play!! ;D :D


Sorry, I didn't realize it was a game/joke thread.  I thought you were seriously asking what I thought.

Afraid I don't really understand what you want as a reply

Sorry, I didn't realize it was a game/joke thread.  I thought you were seriously asking what I thought.

Afraid I don't really understand what you want as a reply



no...it isn't a joke..it's a serious thread. I was just replying to Davester when he said, "I've atempted this kind of topic before, or have addressed it in other threads, but nobody wants to play."

what I'm saying though is....do you think a lot of people tend to portray their past as if everything was hunky dory, just because they tend to either forget about bad memories..or not dwell on them?


I can't say for other people, Erin, but I do tend to look at my past with rose-tinted glasses. I went through some rough patches like my mum/dad's separations and stuff but even those times I look back fondly on without properly understanding why.

Even in the best year of my life (1991) I had to deal with certain kids at school and in November my nan died. Probably the reason why I lived in the past so much is because the people who I loved so much died, I could only seem to revisit them through my past.

I think we all have our own reasons for either looking back on the past without bias or, in some cases, living in the past. In an attempt to move forward, I recently threw out a lot of old comics - some were about 20 years old (in the state they were in they weren't worth anything but sentimental value).

I'm not sure we all look at the past with such a bias.  Some of us prefer many aspects of life the way it is today rather than how it used to be.  Both technology advances and general enlightenment can impact our quality of life for the better.  How many of us really wish we could go back to the days before there were microwaves?  Personal computers?  Cell phones?  Central air conditioning?

For me, the world was a rugged place when I was a kid (60s-70s) - both in a personal sense and in a macro sense.  I actually see myself as happier now than I was then.  Of course much depends on an individual's circumstances, both now and back then.

On message boards such as this, we tend to write about stuff like music, TV/movies, celebrities, and other artsy stuff.  Frankly I prefer what I grew up with in terms of music over today's music.  Were today's music better, that might not be true.  I liked TV more back then, just for the fact it was more innocent and "feel good".  (Not sure about movies - there are some pretty good ones today, too, just as there were then.)  But because I write mostly about music, TV, movies, etc. you might read what I write on here and conclude that I wish I could turn the clock back.  Not so.  8)

I think it is natural to look at your past with rose-colored glasses and see the good more than the bad.  It think it is also a good thing.  I had some bad times when I was younger, but whenever I think of my youth - I do not think of the bad things, I think of the good things.  I believe I do this unconciously.

Rose colored glasses, eh. I think the reason most people see only the rosy things in their past is because
as we get older we get wiser. We realize that bad things happen in life and are more apt to accept it.
Often we even learn to laugh at our past transgressions to a point were we take a bad situation and give
a happy little twist so it becomes one of the many wonderful stories we can relate.

Rose colored glasses, eh. I think the reason most people see only the rosy things in their past is because
as we get older we get wiser. We realize that bad things happen in life and are more apt to accept it.
Often we even learn to laugh at our past transgressions to a point were we take a bad situation and give
a happy little twist so it becomes one of the many wonderful stories we can relate.





very well stated Kevin...so very true.

To be as simple as possible, I think whenever something drastically changes in your life (regardless of your age at the time) you'll miss what came before it. Especially if the change is for the worse, you'll think back to how things used to be, so we kinda look at what we want to...even subconciously.

I think things become special when they're gone. The past is like a vacation whereas the present is nothing special (like school or our jobs) since we're always in it. My dad even said that I always tend to miss stuff from 4-5 years ago even if I didn't care as much when it was going on. Since I was a kid that's been a pattern I've had and probably always will.

I missed the '80s during the '90s since alot of stuff happened in my personal life. If you consider that alot of things I personally enjoyed (especially music and videogames) were from then, that just enhanced it even more. That's not to say I didn't enjoy current experiences too, but I didn't savor it as much as I could have and I took that time for granted. Of course the price I'm paying now I miss, say 1995 as dearly if not more than I missed the '80s then.

For starters, people were much younger and none of my memories were that far away. 10 years is basically still around the corner...much better than a quarter century.


I guess my point is that while every generation or any stage of our lives has its good and bad, but the past has familarity. It's like even if some things sucked, we at least know the outcome...so there's not the uncertain fear like there is when anything is ongoing.

This is a funny subject because if it's true that most of us look into the past specially our childhood with fondness is also true that there are so many people who want to escape their past. Reinvet themselves over and over again until they find what works.

What happens is we (the members on this board) are similar in our love for the past,the music the fads the lifestyles...that's why most of us joined. But outside of here in the real world we cannot live in the past. It's fun to reminisce on how things were (even if not all was that cool,shoulder pads and perms anyone?) it becomes sad when all we do is that...reminisce about the way we and the world were.

This is a funny subject because if it's true that most of us look into the past specially our childhood with fondness is also true that there are so many people who want to escape their past. Reinvet themselves over and over again until they find what works.

What happens is we (the members on this board) are similar in our love for the past,the music the fads the lifestyles...that's why most of us joined. But outside of here in the real world we cannot live in the past. It's fun to reminisce on how things were (even if not all was that cool,shoulder pads and perms anyone?) it becomes sad when all we do is that...reminisce about the way we and the world were.



I understand what you are saying Isabel. It's very easy to dwell on the past and make it seem like everything about it was good times. I have been guilty of this many times. Like Jesse (Marty McFly) said above, there's nothing special about the present really (when you consider working, paying bills, grown-up stuff)...of course there ARE fun times in the present day..but nothing compares to childhood memories.

Another thing that's hit me in recent years is that when I was a kid I thought people got "old" in their 40s, not in their 20s. So when I found out that I wouldn't automatically be cool and youthful and cute until then....let's just say it was a shock to me, and not in a good way.

Sure I thought of twentysomethings as being alot older than me and definitely "adults" when I was growing up, but they also seemed young in general (compared to like grandparents or even someone my dad's age lol). ;)

For example, the movie Wayne's World is a good idea of how I generally perceived people around that age. Grownup, but still into partying, rock and roll and just having a youthful cool nature who would joke around and do silly stuff. And who still had their good looks in the eyes of the opposite sex. That's what I thought I'd be when I got there (hey, the age I am now). ;)

Of course alot of people really are like that, and I logically know it's not like people become stuffy, old and uncool just because they hit about 22 and become "grownups"...BUT they COULD be if they wanted to. That's what's scary. It's like after that, your personality and your own actions determines if you're youthful and cool, not just your biological age.

I'm not sure we all look at the past with such a bias. 

I was referring to the people who do look into the past. :)

I understand what you are saying Isabel. It's very easy to dwell on the past and make it seem like everything about it was good times. I have been guilty of this many times. Like Jesse (Marty McFly) said above, there's nothing special about the present really (when you consider working, paying bills, grown-up stuff)...of course there ARE fun times in the present day..but nothing compares to childhood memories.

It depends on the childhood you had,doesn't it? When i was a kid all i wanted was to grow up i would dream about a time where i would have my own house,pay my bills,being independent and do things my way. When i became an adult i realised how hard it is but i liked my adult life way better than my childhood. When you grow up is easy to loose yourself in a boring life of all work no play but it's up to you to remain young at heart,just because you have bills to pay doesn't mean you can't keep a careless,free perspective about some things in your life. It's all about juggling responsabilities with fun times and imo it is possible.

It's the answer to: The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)
8-P

For me, I'd rather remember the good times I had than the past.  Why would I really want to dwell on remembering the hell I dealt with when my parents divorced in '84 (which was miniscule to my parents' hell but at age 12 it's not something you want to deal with) or being picked on in junior high or having suicidal tendencies in high school or any of the other bad crap that I went through?  I'd rather forget it if you ask me.



Another thing that's hit me in recent years is that when I was a kid I thought people got "old" in their 40s, not in their 20s. So when I found out that I wouldn't automatically be cool and youthful and cute until then....let's just say it was a shock to me, and not in a good way.

Sure I thought of twentysomethings as being alot older than me and definitely "adults" when I was growing up, but they also seemed young in general (compared to like grandparents or even someone my dad's age lol). ;)

For example, the movie Wayne's World is a good idea of how I generally perceived people around that age. Grownup, but still into partying, rock and roll and just having a youthful cool nature who would joke around and do silly stuff. And who still had their good looks in the eyes of the opposite sex. That's what I thought I'd be when I got there (hey, the age I am now). ;)

Of course alot of people really are like that, and I logically know it's not like people become stuffy, old and uncool just because they hit about 22 and become "grownups"...BUT they COULD be if they wanted to. That's what's scary. It's like after that, your personality and your own actions determines if you're youthful and cool, not just your biological age.


You should get out more.  I'm 36.  I hang out with people from age 23 to 57 on a regular basis.  The playing field is pretty even.  And amazingly, they like to party (maybe not hardcore like most of us did when we were at the peak of adolescence), rock and roll and generally having a good time.  We're all good looking people.  :D  And to be honest, I have a hard time determining someone's age upon first meeting them anymore and I don't even really try to guess, 'cuz I'm not one to pigeonhole people into a group like "Oh, you're 22, you should be like this..." and crap.

Anyway, I've got to get going.  I'm off to a little barbecue/get-together hosted by some unstuffy people old enough to be my parents.  Party Time! Excellent!

:D

I think I sometimes overly dwell on the bad points of a particular year, like 1998, whilst idealising years like 1997 and 2005 that were far from perfect.

Example - 1998 I dwell on the bad summer, breaking my legs and the effect it had on my school-life, bad fall-out with my friend etc. whilst too dismissive of the good points - Scotland in World Cup, Playstation, the fact the fall-out only lasted a week, really getting into the Beatles, South Park!

2005 I regard as my favourite year ever (left school, Prom, became an uncle, England winning the Ashes) despite it having some crappy moments in itself - neck problems and being trapped in a loveless relationship. Same with 1997, I tend to regard that as a favourite year despite around half of it being utter garbage!

I actually tend to forget about my past.  For example, I lived through the 90s (I had to, I'm still here gosh darnit!)  But I don't remember much about it other then I got married in December 1999.  I wouldn't say that the whole of the 90s was that bad, maybe I was just too busy working to notice much going on.  I remember a little bit of music, but if you asked me to name off the top of my head my favorite songs from the '90s, well...I'd be at a loss.

Maybe I'm just getting Alzheimers too, but don't they usually tend to remember stuff from the past but not stuff currently?  ???  ;)

I do, understanding the fact that it makes the past bearable. 
::)