Operator

Somewhere in the base of my neck, something's left to lurk,
it's called an operator.
it plays with a set or levers, causing me to jerk.
it messes with my head-it nods, shakes and turns.
what it plans to do next is always a concern.

i got some medication to help it go away,
but it remains to pull it's levers-seemingly determined
to stay.
i get to thinking i might have been tricked,
that another medication should have been picked,
maybe it's the pills bringing on the ticks-i don't know,
what do you think?

if it's me or the prozac, i have yet to know,
but either way, i wish it would just leave,
cause a day without these impulses i find
hard to concieve.

it gets under my skin-pulling, pushing, throbbing-
it makes it's appearence.
a twitch of an eyelid, a flicker on my face-
i wonder what people think.
just what's causing all this i'm trying to trace-
gotta find the medication to put it in it's place.

a quick search tells me a cure is unknown-
just whats it gonna take to get this overthrown?
these movements are involuntary-never my
choice.
gotta do something about it before it grabs
ahold of my voice.
i live in fear of the day it causes me to swear-
saying dirty things to make the people stare.

_____________________
more lyrics later.

these are kind of cheesy, but they perfectly describe how i feel when i go from feeling very "high" to "low" (i'm a little bipolar).

feeling down and out, don't know what to do with
the hours ahead.
what life's all about, i can't begin to concieve.
it this all that lies ahead, something asks,
just more of nothing, i'm led to believe.
what to do with all this time, i do not know.

wasting time feels like a crime, and myhands are red.
i'm not compelled to do a thing, it's
such a shame.
and i know you're going to say i'm to blame,
but what do you expect when every day seems the same?

time holds nothing for me,
and it never will.
it's all insubstantial, it carries no weight.
minutes just dissipitate, one into the next.

suicide i've contemplated, but i
don't want to leave anybody hurt.
more nothingness just lies ahead
anyway, underneath the dirt.

it's something that can't be escaped,
not matter where my mind wanders.
the thought of what i'm here for,
i'm left here to waste more time
and ponder.

it's a cycle, it can't be evaded.
one insignificant moment bleeds into
the next, as i've mentioned before.
there's no definitive answer, that's all
there is to it, nothing more.

THATS ALL THERE IS THATS ALL THERE IS THATS ALL THERE IS THATS ALL THERE IS!!!!!

____________

this is about my OCD.
it scares me

i have the power to destroy-
to crash, tear and set on fire-and it
scares me.
something may snap, something may break,
that's a chance i cannot take so put me
away.

what if i do away with something,
that can't get again?
a sense of security i've always seemed to lack-
beacause i never know if somethings lurking
behind my back.

i could do something to make my day
bad-move a stack of towels, or not
make my bed.
it could be my handwriting, outfit,
or something i said.

something could happen,
something could snap,
and it scares me.
it makes me afraid-
when something is whittled down, a
pen mislayed;
i might need them,
i do need them to have a good day,
but i can't let a wrinkled shirt lead my life
astray.
but it still scares me.

The thing about lyrics is that without the music you really can't tell if they make a good song or not. Without music it is a poem

Your words are really deep, too much so for me to fully understand or appreciate them. But, there are some things that stuck out.

"Operator" sounds like the side effects from taking anti-psychotic medications. If this is so, you should discuss it with your doctor. From a writer's standpoint, the rhyming is good. As a poem, it's pretty, um, not disturbing, but... you're looking for answers I can't give you.

The second work and it's dealing with time might make a decent song. Good rhyming again.

The third, as you said, is a bit scary. This line really stuck out: "what if i do away with something,
that can't get again?" The opening of "i have the power to destroy-" ... we all do. We also have the power to create, and by writing your lyrics you have created something.

I wrote 'darker' lyrics when I was in my early teens, and again in my early 20s. They were pretty rough times in my life, but I got through them. You seem to be going through a rough time right now, and I wish you the best in getting through it.

Ant

i'm always worried that i'm rhyming to much.

and it's hard to come up with melodies....so i just don't.

i've started writing last week, but then it was cheesy debbie gibson and paula abdul-type lyrics....(then i started wondering what am i writing at all for if no one is going to see them?).

...and i'm always worried i'm gonna write something i'll regret later. like something really cheesy. at least my paula-like songs weren't meant to be taken seriously.....

i'm always worried that i'm rhyming to much.

and it's hard to come up with melodies....so i just don't.

i've started writing last week, but then it was cheesy debbie gibson and paula abdul-type lyrics....(then i started wondering what am i writing at all for if no one is going to see them?).


You can always write lyrics to existing melodies - that's what I do. And there is a whole site dedicated to nothing but this: www.amiright.com

It's pretty hard to rhyme "too much". Luke Brattoni would say there is no such thing.

Don't worry about cheesy - every author has a work they look back on and thinks "Why the heck did I write that?"

Ant

well...sometimes i come up with melodies, but then i think that i might have heard it before  :(.

i'm just worried that alot of rhyming will make my songs sound too "sing-songy".

i'm just kind of afraid i'm writing "typical teen angst" lyrics  ::).

from what i read, i think your lyrics are pretty unique...they made me think of images and stuff which is a good sign! keep it up!

thanks!  :)

here is one of my paula abdul type songs that i haven't finished yet, and it's pretty embaressing

Think Twice

Listen to me, and take
my advice.
You shouldn't provoke me,
I can be cold as ice.

Keep your mouth shut,
for your own good,
or I'll tell you what
is really on my mind.

You say that I'm
not up to your
standards.
Well your not exactly
Mr.Right.

When I said that I loved you,
I was being polite.
When I said that you were
beautiful, I was only being nice.
When your not around,
I'm glad to have you out
of my sight.
So the next time you want
to complain,
think twice.
think twice.
think twice.
think twice!!!!

Interesting lyrics.

Alot of what I write myself falls into a few categories:

1. Silly
2. Funny
3. Serious
4. Cheesy
5. Quirky

I do have a few original songs that are darker, but one of them came off a little cheesy(kind of intentional).

I feel mine take an aquired taste to like.