Do any other Americans give a lot of thought as to how we are stereotyped and seen by the rest of the world? At first I was really angry at the way we are stereotyped, but I've come to understand why people think the way they do about us, and why we are basically hated by the whole world.....I just wish we would do SOMETHING to boost our rep's....

p.s. if this isn't making sense, it's because i'm on a new medication that makes me very hyper and i can't think straight....

Here are some stereotypes....(i see where they get a majority of them, but others, i don't get....):

  1. If they grumble and grumble and grumble and grumble...
  2. If they hate everything.
  3. If they complain over every little thing.
  4. If they curse you and laugh at you and are heartless towards you.
  5. Remember when Russia sent troops into Georgia and everyone in atlanta freaked out.
  6. You think popularity is measured in how many people want to kill you.
  7. You have a green card lottery...
  8. "Love it or leave it" gives you the freedom to never complain. Except about immigration, gays, petrol prices or liberals.
  9. If you ask where you are they will say "America", and if you ask what's to the south they won't know.
  10. Continuous earthquakes (it is San Andreas Fault in California and fat peoples' fault everywhere else)
  11. Catching a ball without a ten foot glove is met with cries of amazement.
  12. Dumb luck is considered ironic.
  13. A nation of immigrants outraged by new immigration is not considered ironic.
  14. People scream blue murder when petrol reaches 10 cents a gallon.
  15. Petrol evaporates and becomes harmless "Greenhouse Gas".
  16. People find it "Niiice to meet you!!!".
  17. The closest human contact is a handshake (immediately followed by thorough cleansing of the hands).
  18. When you say your country from origin, and they respond with "is that near the wal-mart down 895?".
  19. The current president is a monkey.
  20. Wal-Mart is the cultural "hang-out spot".
  21. When you tell someone you're from Brazil, they ask if you live in a tree and have a pet monkey.
  22. Someone shoots you.
  23. You just completley and utterly ignore exchange rates and then pretned it's 4 times the value it actually is.
  24. The average high school student believes that calculus "is when you use calculators."
  25. You find a woman that looks like the one on the right. She does not have to look the same, but has to be just as fat.
  26. You go to the movies and the guy asks "Would you like butter with your butter flavoured popcorn?"
  27. You insist that because someone wears a towel on their head, they have a bomb strapped to them, and so you jump out of the taxi.
  28. People think you're a leprechaun when you tell them you're Irish.
  29. People keeps telling you that Indonesia is a part of Bali.
  30. Racism can only be joked by black people, or "African Americans".
  31. People take the elevator to get some much needed exercise.
  32. Your leader is a moron
  33. You think any country that has a royal family is a political monarchy.
  34. Your moronic leader is chosen by some group of people no one has heard of called "The Electoral College."
  35. Being well-traveled means you once crossed into the next state.
  36. The whiteness of your teeth denotes your value to society.
  37. You can't live without arrogance to other nations.
  38. You are a living proof of how evolution can go backwards.
  39. People burn your flag.
  40. You burn Iraq's flag.
  41. You think blondes are attractive, while they are really dumb.
  42. You start laughing while watching "King of the Hill."
  43. You can't watch anime on TV without the onigiris becoming "edible triangles", the guns becoming Nerf guns and the blood becoming Kool-Aid.
  44. Every map or globe has an enormous picture of America surrounded by questions marks and the words "here be dragons."
  45. Everybody complains about their elected leader but elect him again anyway. But it doesn't matter because all the alternatives are just as bad. (Example: 2004 Presidential Election. George Dubya Bush again? Are you a fudgeing idiot?)
      Extra Method #1: The cheese is poisoned
      Extra Method #1: The cheese is poisoned
  46. When your Votes don't get counted.
  47. Fat people are considered the same as normal people and are not spat on and hated but are instead celebrated and given awards and television airtime.
  48. No-one can put on a realistic foreign accent to save their lives.
  49. You couldn't locate Australia on a map for your life.
  50. Fried chicken is considered gourmet food.
  51. When there are an abnormal amount of retards (most residing in Montana or Idaho), which is considered normal in the USA.
  52. When racism is the law.
  53. You got lost in a large farm field,.. 2 seconds later you have a sawed off shotgun in your mouth, and a redneck looking at you while chewing grass
  54. You meet someone who thinks 2+2=5.
  55. You meet someone who talks like someone in a Dick and Jane book.
  56. You're too stupid to realize that French fries actually originated from Belgium.
  57. You cannot distinguish libertine and libertarians.
  58. "Freedom of religion" actually means "free to worship the majority religion ONLY."
  59. Everyone on the street has a catchphrase. Except you, so everyone laughs about you but not about your jokes. You may also get shot.
  60. You write a long article at Uncyclopedia about how rotten the USA is, while getting pissed if people question your patriotism. (See Liberals).
  61. Fat people are the porn artists.
  62. No one can spell "colour" or "favour" properly. In fact, noone can speel anything.
  63. Whenever a foreign country lights up a match you instantly panic.
  64. You are completely unable to locate any other country on a map.
  65. Your biggest dilemma of the day is "Subway or McDonald's?"
  66. After a pint of beer you feel dizzy, after 2 you feel drunk, after 3 you cant feel anything, after 4 you're in hospital.
  67. You actually think American brewed beer tastes good.
  68. The size of your TV is directly proportional to the amount of debt your in.
  69. Nobody has any passion for sport.
  70. Everyone is unbelievably passionate about lunch.
  71. Lunch is actually called dinner and dinner is called supper.
  72. America's Slogan: WE are the World.
  73. When people look down on hitting your kid when they need it.
  74. There are no roundabouts.
  75. Everyone pronounces all the R's in every word - even in words that contain no R's.

There is way to much here to comment on.  Just exactly what are you taking?

huh?

concerta, respirdol and prozac,

this  usually gets me in trouble

well, as a yank who travels pretty often i can tell you that i come across anti-american stereotypes pretty often. mostly it's pretty benevolent, because i like to think americans are still pretty well favored -- i got a really nice reception in portugal not too long ago, people seemed sorta excited to have an american around because i think most english-speaking tourists there come from the UK -- but the things i tend to come across are like, we like your country but we dont much like your president, or, i had a really amusing experience in a pub where a barkeep -- really smart fellow, as it turns out -- discerns i'm american from my accent and immediately starts trying to reason with me -- look, i know terrorism is a big deal but do you really think invading iraq was the best way to deal with it? -- as though because i'm an american i automatically support US foreign policy.

^i KNOW! i hate that everyone thinks we ALL approve of Bush's actions  :-\\...

...i actually heard that American tourists are told to say that they are Canadian when they travel in the U.K. or Australia  :o.

my sister actually had a bad experience in England when she was over there for an internship thing for a summer through Cloumbia's (college's) fashion department. She and a friend she made there met up with 2 Australian guys he knew, and they told her that "she is NOT welcome here!". Australians hate Americans...from what I hear.


(i keep adding to this post)

but we had an Australian exchange student at my high school for a semester, and she was very nice and friendly to everyone.

43. You can't watch anime on TV without the onigiris becoming "edible triangles", the guns becoming Nerf guns and the blood becoming Kool-Aid.

^LOL, that tends to happen on network television(Blood becoming Kool-Aid). Fortunately not on cable and straight to DVD releases.



I know of a stereotype about us being stingy too(Which is actually false).

I seen abit of a thing on TV about it. The US government donates a larger sum than the other nations(but not much based on percentage) for disaster relief. But it that's only the US government itself, they don't take into account all the regular citizens who donate, which really adds up.

some of your list is a bit far-fetched...but some is true.

Now, people often find it difficult to ascertain where I'm from.. because a) I have such a f**ked up accent and b) Because I travel on a different passport depending on where I'm going.. but I've been to more countrys than I can count.. and in the vast majority the general consensus I find is this.

People often disagree with U.S foreign policy and cling to a few outdated stereotypes in much the same way that we do about them.. I've yet to go to a country where the majority of the population wouldn't move to the U.S if given a Green Card and $100. Seriously.

I've traveled extensively throughout the ex-soviet republics and to a man, woman, child and two headed sheep they're all staunchly pro-American. South Africa, more pro-American than a Pat Robertson telethon. Whenever I speak to people in England and they ask where I'm from (usually they assume correctly, London) and I tell them I live in the U.S, they're all terribly excited to ask me questions and usually say something along the lines of "It's crap here, wish I could move there."

Two countrys where this really isn't the general thought - France and Germany.. and hey, ya know what, both France and Germany have a lot going for them, as it stands, I'd be just as happy to live there as the U.S.
In Greece, Turkey, Albania, Montenegro, Serbia it was hard to go 10 yards without somebody wanting to extol the wonders of the United States.

Argentina.. Chile, not quite as Pro-U.S.. now, I traveled on a UK passport in Chile to avoid paying such a high entrance visa fee and found them very receptive, then I traveled on a U.S passport in Argentina and again, found them to be very friendly and receptive. Granted, this was Buenos Aires and Santiago, obviously the people are going to be somewhat more enlightened and open to foreign ideas so I really can't say what the ideas of the whole country as a whole are, but I wouldn't say there is a real anti-U.S sentiment.

The thing that it's important to remember, is a) whenever you see anti-American demonstrations it's usually against some major foreign policy faux pas, as opposed to the country itself. I think the general consensus of the world is that things are pretty f**kin sweet here.. and they are. We have many things to complain about when we look at how wealthy we are as a nation and some of the problems that still exist here, but trust me, some of the folks I hear complaining about the U.S.. they've never left their own state. They're got it better than they could ever imagine. Go to any country in Europe.. hell, go to the socialist paradises of Northern Europe. They're cool and everything, I mean, I'd love to live somewhere like Oslo for a year or two.. no more.. please God no more.. if you've ever wondered what purgatory is like, go to Norway.. or Denmark.. seriously. The state provides everything for you, now, you pay about a 50-70% tax rate for this... in conjunction, because the state controls everything, most fun things, heavy drinking, mind-expanding drugs, graphic pornography.. are either exceptionally hard to come by, or taxed to such a ridiculous extent that the small amount you have left after you've paid to have the state to support you can't buy you much of it.
I paid eight f**king dollars for a beer in Denmark! EIGHT F**KING DOLLARS! I've been to trendy bars in Manhattan and only paid $4.00.

So.. to conclude. What anti-American sentiment there is.. is generally aimed at our leaders sometimes unwise foreign policy choices.. and is usually perpetrated by morons in s**t-hole countrys who'd come to the U.S in a heartbeat if they could.. or by idealistic student tards who are experimenting with Marxism-Leninism because their girlfriends think that the idea of a man's worth being decided by his property is wrong. As soon as their girlfriends can afford Prada and Cartier they'll grow out of it.

This topic should be in the politics section ?

Being African American I found it much easier for me to travel in England and France than I have found it to travel around the United States, where I have found it much more comfortable to stay within 10 miles of the interstate.  As long as they know I am from the USA and am not from any Northern African/Arabian countries, France, especially, was particularly welcoming.  I found myself to be quite exasperated with the attitude of my fellow countrymen because most seem to have somewhat of a haughty attitude about being from the States and expecting to be admired for it.  I tell them, it isn't the people that most particularly like, it is the color of our money.

This topic should be in the politics section ?
only if you're a freedom-hating liberal! >:(

That's one long list :o

That looks more like what you americans hate about yourselves...

Anyone who's been around americans know that most of the stereotypes are not true,we can give you a hard time because of your foreign policy,but we all know most of you don't even agree with it.


So.. to conclude. What anti-American sentiment there is.. is generally aimed at our leaders sometimes unwise foreign policy choices.. and is usually perpetrated by morons in s**t-hole countrys who'd come to the U.S in a heartbeat if they could.. or by idealistic student tards who are experimenting with Marxism-Leninism because their girlfriends think that the idea of a man's worth being decided by his property is wrong. As soon as their girlfriends can afford Prada and Cartier they'll grow out of it.


No we won't :P

Anyone who's been around americans know that most of the stereotypes are not true,we can give you a hard time because of your foreign policy,but we all know most of you don't even agree with it.


i've heard that before...that people just really hate our foreign policy. but all the time on youtube or on the message boards at internet movie database (imdb.com), there's people saying something anti-American, and not just our government, but our citicizens. They think we're all imbeciles. i see this all the time. and i admit that i don't think that we are in general not very aware of other cultures. and alot of us are terrible at geography.....people say we are isolationists. and our education system is a joke, at least from what i heard. we learn things at a much slower pace then people in other countries....

i've heard that before...that people just really hate our foreign policy. but all the time on youtube or on the message boards at internet movie database (imdb.com), there's people saying something anti-American, and not just our government, but our citicizens. They think we're all imbeciles. i see this all the time. and i admit that i don't think that we are in general not very aware of other cultures. and alot of us are terrible at geography.....people say we are isolationists. and our education system is a joke, at least from what i heard. we learn things at a much slower pace then people in other countries....


Comparing to where? Europe? If they're more interested in other cultures is because they have to be,there's almost 50 different countries in a really small area,each with their own language,culture and lifestyle,plus they have centuries and centuries of history,while you have a little over 200 years.
One thing that you americans and europeans,in fact all the north hemisphere,have in common and that i truly hate,is this paternalistic, demeaning way you treat the rest of the world.

There are stupid and ignorant people everywhere,overthere you are just usually less concerned with trying to impress,and sometimes some americans do have that attitude of "i don't know and i don't care",but i think that is actually changing because you're realising that what happens outside the US affects you a big deal too.

As popularized by david letterman, allow me to present my top 10 american stereotypes!

10. Remember when Russia sent troops into Georgia and everyone in atlanta freaked out.
9. You can't watch anime on TV without the onigiris becoming "edible triangles", the guns becoming Nerf guns and the blood becoming Kool-Aid.
8. When there are an abnormal amount of retards (most residing in Montana or Idaho), which is considered normal in the USA.
7. Continuous earthquakes (it is San Andreas Fault in California and fat peoples' fault everywhere else)
6. Someone shoots you.
5. Fat people are the porn artists.
4. Every map or globe has an enormous picture of America surrounded by questions marks and the words "here be dragons."
3. People think you're a leprechaun when you tell them you're Irish.
2. When you tell someone you're from Brazil, they ask if you live in a tree and have a pet monkey.

And the number one american stereotype:

1.  Method #1: The cheese is poisoned
    Extra Method #1: The cheese is poisoned

i' there's people saying something anti-American, and not just our government, but our citicizens.

aw see now there you go proving number 62 (No one can spell "colour" or "favour" properly. In fact, noone can speel anything)....  But I'll chalk it up to the medication  ;)


I won't comment on all 75 but here are my thoughts


  1. If they grumble and grumble and grumble and grumble...
  2. If they hate everything.
  3. If they complain over every little thing.
  4. If they curse you and laugh at you and are heartless towards you.

we do get this alot. . . it's the Ugly American syndrome. I remember watching the first season of Amazing Race and shuddered because of the way one of the teams acted. They yelled at everyone and were just an embarrassment to Americans everywhere.


  5. Remember when Russia sent troops into Georgia and everyone in atlanta freaked out.

Since I don't what this means I will have to assume you are referring to Red Dawn... hmmm didn't that take place in the Mid West tho, not the south?


  6. You think popularity is measured in how many people want to kill you.

Personally I think that if people call me a bitch then I am doing a damn good job.



  8. "Love it or leave it" gives you the freedom to never complain. Except about immigration, gays, petrol prices or liberals.
  37. You can't live without arrogance to other nations.
  45. Everybody complains about their elected leader but elect him again anyway. But it doesn't matter because all the alternatives are just as bad. (Example: 2004 Presidential Election. George Dubya Bush again? Are you a fudging idiot?)
  46. When your Votes don't get counted.
  58. "Freedom of religion" actually means "free to worship the majority religion ONLY."
72. America's Slogan: WE are the World.
60. You write a long article at Uncyclopedia about how rotten the USA is, while getting pissed if people question your patriotism. (See Liberals).
 
Okay I agree with some these... some Americans are hypocritical arses.  Usually the closed minded conservatives and the freaks on Fox News. . . but  it's that whole freedom of speech thing that simultaneously dooms us and makes us a great nation.



  9. If you ask where you are they will say "America", and if you ask what's to the south they won't know.
  49. You couldn't locate Australia on a map for your life.
64. You are completely unable to locate any other country on a map.

re 9... I disagree. I think most Americans know Canada, Mexico and South America. They may not be able to label individual countries but they can identify the regions.... they run into problems though when they have to cross an ocean or sea and Identify australia, africa, the poles or europe.  Honestly l think none of our globes turned so we all just looked at and memorized the same regions.

# 49 & 64 are a little redundant...donchya think?



10. Continuous earthquakes (it is San Andreas Fault in California and fat peoples' fault everywhere else)
25. You find a woman that looks like the one on the right. She does not have to look the same, but has to be just as fat.
  47. Fat people are considered the same as normal people and are not spat on and hated but are instead celebrated and given awards and television airtime.

In some countries, being fat is a sign of wealth. . . I want to move there....
btw, regarding #47... why do you classify Fat people and normal people.  We are normal just with a little extra love to give. Personally I am sick and tired of people hating on fat people. We have feelings too...contrary to popular stereotypes not all fat people are jolly. and to make fun of someone or single them out because of weight is as racist as doing it because of skin color!  >:(


  14. People scream blue murder when petrol reaches 10 cents a gallon.

I know our gas prices don't even compare to what people pay in other countries but we have gotten so used to getting it cheaper that we balk when they raise it any amount.

Plus I think we drive more in the US but that's just speculation.


  16. People find it "Niiice to meet you!!!".

what's wrong with this?  My cousin was visiting from Holland and thought it was weird that we apologize for everything. Dropped something? Sorry.  Bumped into someone? Sorry. Ran over the dog?  Sorry. I didn't realize that we did this so much but I guess she is right. Sorry Asha.
 

17. The closest human contact is a handshake (immediately followed by thorough cleansing of the hands).

yeah but for germaphobic (and homophobic) Americans all that hugging and kissing is gross... oh and phony.


  19. The current president is a monkey.
  32. Your leader is a moron
  34. Your moronic leader is chosen by some group of people no one has heard of called "The Electoral College."

Don't most americans feel this way?  ::)


20. Wal-Mart is the cultural "hang-out spot".

I would rather be judged by the stereotype of those who frequent Wally World than have anyone watch Sweet 16 or the Simple Life and judge me based on these "realistic" portrayals of Americans  :P



  24. The average high school student believes that calculus "is when you use calculators."
only the stupid ones!


  26. You go to the movies and the guy asks "Would you like butter with your butter flavored popcorn?"

It's not about the butter flavor but about the texture the hot melted "butter" brings to dry popcorn.  ;)


  27. You insist that because someone wears a towel on their head, they have a bomb strapped to them, and so you jump out of the taxi.

the current climate of fear is a sad state of affairs


  30. Racism can only be joked by black people, or "African Americans".
 
and hispanics, and asians, and gays..... I really hate that term African American.... it implies that we're a qualified component of the US, not good enough to be full fledged Americans.



  42. You start laughing while watching "King of the Hill."

For the record... King of the Hill is funny. 

 
  50. Fried chicken is considered gourmet food.

what... it isn't?


  56. You're too stupid to realize that French fries actually originated from Belgium.

I thought they were called French Fries because of the way the potato is cut....like french style green beans... I never thought they came from France.


  61. Fat people are the porn artists.
No the fat guys getting laid in porn are the producers and/or directors. Everyone else is hot/nasty (depending on your point of view).


63. Whenever a foreign country lights up a match you instantly panic.

Why would a country light a match???  ???

 
  65. Your biggest dilemma of the day is "Subway or McDonald's?"

Ah but what a delicious dilemma it is....


70. Everyone is unbelievably passionate about lunch.

Yes! Yes we are... and damn proud of it too.  ;D

 
66. After a pint of beer you feel dizzy, after 2 you feel drunk, after 3 you cant feel anything, after 4 you're in hospital.
67. You actually think American brewed beer tastes good.

I suppose this is how those Irish leprechauns stereotype Americans?


  68. The size of your TV is directly proportional to the amount of debt your in.

This is by far my favorite one....  oh I'm sorry favourite.



69. Nobody has any passion for sport.

spoken by someone who's never seen Hoosiers or experienced Notre Dame pride. Or been in Boston or New York and started a Yankees/Sox debate....


  74. There are no roundabouts.
 
We actually do have roundabouts it's just that no one knows what the rules are. Everyone looks at a roundabout as a free for all. Go and go fast, right of way be damned.


  31. People take the elevator to get some much needed exercise.
  35. Being well-traveled means you once crossed into the next state.
  38. You are a living proof of how evolution can go backwards.
  39. People burn your flag.
  40. You burn Iraq's flag.
  41. You think blondes are attractive, while they are really dumb.
  48. No-one can put on a realistic foreign accent to save their lives.
  51. When there are an abnormal amount of retards (most residing in Montana or Idaho), which is considered normal in the USA.
  52. When racism is the law.
  59. Everyone on the street has a catchphrase. Except you, so everyone laughs about you but not about your jokes. You may also get shot.
    73. When people look down on hitting your kid when they need it.

At some point the post became less about stereotyping and more about ranting... again... I blame the medication. some of these didn't necessarily make sense ( or really aren't the kind of stereotypes I feel are being used by other countries to portray Americans... which I gathered, was the initial point of this post

No we won't :P


Can you afford Prada or Cartier?  ;) ;D

Can you afford Prada or Cartier?  ;) ;D
i can afford target, if that's any help.

not everyone, boy or girl, wants that high-income new-money east egg scene.it's actually a burden to be rich, i get the impression. if it were as wonderful as we've been led to believe, the obscenely rich wouldn't be as obsessed as they are with getting obscenely richer -- they appear to be after something that money actually can't provide.

by the way....are we the richest country, or is germany?

and doesn't japan give more money to charities?

.....and i love my medication  :). everyone should have a bottle of concerta in their homes.

Can you afford Prada or Cartier?  ;) ;D


I could,but all my money goes to really expensive drugs :o

Being rich can be sweet,but if that's your main goal in life,you're going to end up miserable.

Can you afford Prada or Cartier?  ;) ;D


I could, but I am not enough of an idiot to actually give them my money   ::)

i can afford target, if that's any help.

not everyone, boy or girl, wants that high-income new-money east egg scene.it's actually a burden to be rich, i get the impression. if it were as wonderful as we've been led to believe, the obscenely rich wouldn't be as obsessed as they are with getting obscenely richer -- they appear to be after something that money actually can't provide.


A reply to you.. and all above.. I'm not actually advocating the idea that one can gain happiness by being able to buy expensive things (and trust me, if I'm going for a brand name life, it's gonna be Technics, Peavy and Sony, not Prada, Versace and Cartier) just making the point that so many of the westernized anti-americans grow out of it when they realize their beautiful paradise view of life doesn't exist.. and can't.

A reply to you.. and all above.. I'm not actually advocating the idea that one can gain happiness by being able to buy expensive things (and trust me, if I'm going for a brand name life, it's gonna be Technics, Peavy and Sony, not Prada, Versace and Cartier) just making the point that so many of the westernized anti-americans grow out of it when they realize their beautiful paradise view of life doesn't exist.. and can't.


But the idea that the US is the eternal land of milk and honey is just yet another stereotype. People who sing the US' praises for this reason are every bit as ignorant to the American experience as those who sterotype Americans as stupid, ignorant, right-wing fascists. The US is chock-full of people living miserable existences. Poverty is rampant, and even a lot of people who are financially comfortable are often left feeling empty and unhappy because what you mother always told you is actually true... money can't buy you happiness.

only if you're a freedom-hating liberal! >:(

No, I'm  a liberal hating freedom and don't you forget it!

But the idea that the US is the eternal land of milk and honey is just yet another stereotype. People who sing the US' praises for this reason are every bit as ignorant to the American experience as those who sterotype Americans as stupid, ignorant, right-wing fascists. The US is chock-full of people living miserable existences. Poverty is rampant, and even a lot of people who are financially comfortable are often left feeling empty and unhappy because what you mother always told you is actually true... money can't buy you happiness.


.. right... I can see where your point ties in.. but, I'm trying to ascertain the relevance here.

   1. If they grumble and grumble and grumble and grumble...
I certainly do!
   2. If they hate everything.
Except donuts, pornogrpahy, guns, NASCAR, American Idol, and Old Glory!
   3. If they complain over every little thing.
"Until a bee flew into the Nesbitt's Lime Soda and we had to throw it awaaay-ay!"
--Negativland
   4. If they curse you and laugh at you and are heartless towards you.
Only if you're homeless, have AIDS, or are filing for bankruptcy, in which case you deserve it because Jesus doesn't love you.
   5. Remember when Russia sent troops into Georgia and everyone in atlanta freaked out.
When I was 15 I did think  the OMD song "Georgia" was about our Southern state.  I did know there was such a place as Georgia in Eastern Europe, but it wasn't on my mind.  Until the fall of the Soviet Union, it is true most Americans had not heard of the country of Georgia.  If you said "Josef Stalin was from Georgia," they'd say "Atlant or Macon?"  So in the '90s the media started referring to "America's Georgia," even if it was a story about the Atlanta Braves!
   6. You think popularity is measured in how many people want to kill you.
Oh, no, it's not how many people want to kill you, it's how many people you have killed!
   7. You have a green card lottery...
It's not a lottery, it's an auction.
   8. "Love it or leave it" gives you the freedom to never complain. Except about immigration, gays, petrol prices or liberals.
Petrol? What the hell you talkin'?  You mean "gas."  We say "gas" 'round here.
   9. If you ask where you are they will say "America", and if you ask what's to the south they won't know.
I know.  Texas.
  10. Continuous earthquakes (it is San Andreas Fault in California and fat peoples' fault everywhere else)
If fat people caused Earthquakes Mississippi would have the most.
  11. Catching a ball without a ten foot glove is met with cries of amazement.
Ever catch a baseball with your bare hands?  "Cries" won't be of amazement!
  12. Dumb luck is considered ironic.
Steel is a better metal, ironic rusts to easy.
  13. A nation of immigrants outraged by new immigration is not considered ironic.
"My ancestors came here legally dammit!  Anybody who said otherwise got a smallpox security blanket!"
  14. People scream blue murder when petrol reaches 10 cents a gallon.
The price of gas is the price of freedom.
  15. Petrol evaporates and becomes harmless "Greenhouse Gas".
Al Gore made all that crap up as part of a commie plot.
  16. People find it "Niiice to meet you!!!".
We do, actually.
  17. The closest human contact is a handshake (immediately followed by thorough cleansing of the hands).
Why?  What do they do in other countries?  Kiss each other on the cheeks?  Haw haw haw!
  18. When you say your country from origin, and they respond with "is that near the wal-mart down 895?".
And bear left at the trailer park.
  19. The current president is a monkey.
That's not what the monkeys say!
  20. Wal-Mart is the cultural "hang-out spot".
Wal-Mart is the cultural repository of Middle American life.
  21. When you tell someone you're from Brazil, they ask if you live in a tree and have a pet monkey.
Actually, people used to ask my friend Ruth from Israel if she rode a camel to school!
  22. Someone shoots you.
Better you than me!
  23. You just completley and utterly ignore exchange rates and then pretned it's 4 times the value it actually is.
Oh you mean for that play money with the funny colors on it?
  24. The average high school student believes that calculus "is when you use calculators."
And albebra is an item from Victoria's Secret.
  25. You find a woman that looks like the one on the right. She does not have to look the same, but has to be just as fat.
It's still fun to make fun of fat women even though your wife, your mother, your sisters, and your daughters are all obese.  
  26. You go to the movies and the guy asks "Would you like butter with your butter flavoured popcorn?"
It might cost $9.00, but that includes the grain elevator you need to get to the top!
  27. You insist that because someone wears a towel on their head, they have a bomb strapped to them, and so you jump out of the taxi.
You think Muslims wear towels on their heads!
  28. People think you're a leprechaun when you tell them you're Irish.
It's not meant as an insult, 50 million of us are descended from leprechauns!
  29. People keeps telling you that Indonesia is a part of Bali.
And the people wear grass skirts and live on long pig and Mai Tais.
  30. Racism can only be joked by black people, or "African Americans".
If Comedy Central has anything to say about it.  And look what happened to Don Imus!
  31. People take the elevator to get some much needed exercise.
Elevators in old buildings are being retrofitted to account for the fact that the average American will weight 450 lbs by 2020.
  32. Your leader is a moron
Watch what you say about Jesus now!
  33. You think any country that has a royal family is a political monarchy.
I heard Britons convicted of a crime can be "held at her majesty's pleasure."  And you call us barbaric for the death penalty!
  34. Your moronic leader is chosen by some group of people no one has heard of called "The Electoral College."
Bush cheated his way through that one just like Harvard!
  35. Being well-traveled means you once crossed into the next state.
Or the next county if you live in the middle of Texas or Nebraska!
  36. The whiteness of your teeth denotes your value to society.
As with skin, so with teeth.
  37. You can't live without arrogance to other nations.
What part of "America is the greatest nation on Earth" do you NOT understand?
  38. You are a living proof of how evolution can go backwards.
Trick question.  There is no such thing as evolution!
  39. People burn your flag.
It wasn't earned to be burned.  If I catch you burning the flag of my country, I'll use MY freedom of expression to kick yer ass!
  40. You burn Iraq's flag.
We don't burn the Iraqi flag, we burn Iraqis!  The ingrates!
  41. You think blondes are attractive, while they are really dumb.
Because they are really dumb!
  42. You start laughing while watching "King of the Hill."
Only if somebody's there to explain it to us!
  43. You can't watch anime on TV without the onigiris becoming "edible triangles", the guns becoming Nerf guns and the blood becoming Kool-Aid.
Now I'm lost!
  44. Every map or globe has an enormous picture of America surrounded by questions marks and the words "here be dragons."
"I can identify the United States on a map and so can all my friends, I don't know anybody else who can't!" -- Miss Teen South Carolina
  45. Everybody complains about their elected leader but elect him again anyway. But it doesn't matter because all the alternatives are just as bad. (Example: 2004 Presidential Election. George Dubya Bush again? Are you a fudging idiot?)
It's like you don't call the cops when somebody steals your car because they'll just steal it again the next night anyway!
      Extra Method #1: The cheese is poisoned
      Extra Method #1: The cheese is poisoned
???
  46. When your Votes don't get counted.
Your votes don't get counted because your votes don't count anyway!
  47. Fat people are considered the same as normal people and are not spat on and hated but are instead celebrated and given awards and television airtime.
No, they are spat on and hated on television by other fat people!
  48. No-one can put on a realistic foreign accent to save their lives.
No foreigner can put on an American accent to save his life.
  49. You couldn't locate Australia on a map for your life.
Now you're talking like Miss South Carolina!
  50. Fried chicken is considered gourmet food.
Only the popcorn variety, which is what you serve at weddings and funerals, the second ceremony often taking place 24 hours after the first because of popcorn fried chicken!
  51. When there are an abnormal amount of retards (most residing in Montana or Idaho), which is considered normal in the USA.
There are more retards in greater Cleveland than in both those states put together!
  52. When racism is the law.
Oh, you mean affirmative action.  Well, we're taking care of that!
  53. You got lost in a large farm field,.. 2 seconds later you have a sawed off shotgun in your mouth, and a redneck looking at you while chewing grass
Well, you shouldn't have been trying to steal his marijuana plants!
  54. You meet someone who thinks 2+2=5.
3 can sometimes be 1 and 1 can sometimes be 3.  Papist dogma.
  55. You meet someone who talks like someone in a Dick and Jane book.
Oh golly-gee.
  56. You're too stupid to realize that French fries actually originated from Belgium.
Where is this Belgium?  Ain't that somewhere near Omaha!
  57. You cannot distinguish libertine and libertarians.
Or liberals!
  58. "Freedom of religion" actually means "free to worship the majority religion ONLY."
It's freedom of NOT freedom FROM!
  59. Everyone on the street has a catchphrase. Except you, so everyone laughs about you but not about your jokes. You may also get shot.
23 Skidoo!  Bang Bang!
  60. You write a long article at Uncyclopedia about how rotten the USA is, while getting pissed if people question your patriotism. (See Liberals).
Dissent is the highest form of patriotism!
  61. Fat people are the porn artists.
Ron Jeremy.
  62. No one can spell "colour" or "favour" properly. In fact, noone can speel anything.
Who needs to? You got spellcheck.  Not that you use it!
  63. Whenever a foreign country lights up a match you instantly panic.
Why do they have to light a match?
  64. You are completely unable to locate any other country on a map.
You covered this earlier!
  65. Your biggest dilemma of the day is "Subway or McDonald's?"
I'm a little classier.  Denny's or Applebees?
  66. After a pint of beer you feel dizzy, after 2 you feel drunk, after 3 you cant feel anything, after 4 you're in hospital.
Cor, blimey!
  67. You actually think American brewed beer tastes good.
Cold, sweet, and watery is the best!
  68. The size of your TV is directly proportional to the amount of debt your in.
I must be the exception.
  69. Nobody has any passion for sport.
Of course not, it's "sports" not "sport"!
  70. Everyone is unbelievably passionate about lunch.
We call it a "nooner."
  71. Lunch is actually called dinner and dinner is called supper.
It's been about 50 years since those days!
  72. America's Slogan: WE are the World.
It's a choice we're making, we're digging our own graves!
  73. When people look down on hitting your kid when they need it.
No, in Europe you do harder time for spanking your kid than for killing a hooker!
  74. There are no roundabouts.
Come up to Massachusetts.  Some of them are called "suicide circle"!
  75. Everyone pronounces all the R's in every word - even in words that contain no R's.
Massachusetts again.  What's the Jewish rite of passage?
A Bah-Mitzfer!

max, you do that flyover country routine very well. i sense a fire-and-brimstone transformation may be overtaking you! go with it, man.

wouldn't that be hysterical if this time next week max was a firebreathing hypernationalist?

Comparing to where? Europe? If they're more interested in other cultures is because they have to be,there's almost 50 different countries in a really small area,each with their own language,culture and lifestyle,plus they have centuries and centuries of history,while you have a little over 200 years.
One thing that you americans and europeans,in fact all the north hemisphere,have in common and that i truly hate,is this paternalistic, demeaning way you treat the rest of the world.

There are stupid and ignorant people everywhere,overthere you are just usually less concerned with trying to impress,and sometimes some americans do have that attitude of "i don't know and i don't care",but i think that is actually changing because you're realising that what happens outside the US affects you a big deal too.





Where are you from?  ???

Where are you from?  ???


Clue:

I live in a tree and have a pet monkey named Jorge.

Clue:

I live in a tree and have a pet monkey named Jorge.
;D

Clue:

I live in a tree and have a pet monkey named Jorge.


The comment just sounded like... well, like you weren't from the US or Europe...

isabel é de Brasil.

isabel é de Brasil.





Eu sou do Brasil.

But nice effort,you're getting there ;)

Eu sou do Brasil.

But nice effort,you're getting there ;)
eu usei apenas peixes de babel outra vez.:-[

eu usei apenas peixes de babel outra vez.:-[

;D
Babelfish vai te foder um dia :P

Good phrase construction though!

paternalistic, demeaning

^ I don't treat the rest of the world this way.

paternalistic, demeaning

^ I don't treat the rest of the world this way.



Good for you!

on behalf of america, i'd like to say that the rest of the world is coming along swimmingly. we believe that soon we'll be ready to take off the training wheels.

on behalf of america, i'd like to say that the rest of the world is coming along swimmingly. we believe that soon we'll be ready to take off the training wheels.
;D

on behalf of america, i'd like to say that the rest of the world is coming along swimmingly. we believe that soon we'll be ready to take off the training wheels.


Dude, the middle east so needs a time out.. and I think Australia is smoking behind the garage.

Good for you!


I've always found it abit strange when people blame an entire social group for what a few of them did or do. :D

I've always found it abit strange when people blame an entire social group for what a few of them did or do. :D


Yeah,generalizing is not right,like people always assume that because were brazilian we have to be beautiful ::)

I know at least 3 ugly people :D

well, i will say that when i went to lisbon i remember thinking, wow, i'm definitely the ugliest person here. which is not to say that i think i'm BAD looking but it's just everyone else is so luscious! but i felt better when i got to the more touristy part of town. turns out i was in the slums. in the slums of lisbon, everyone is really hot. it's strange.

well, i will say that when i went to lisbon i remember thinking, wow, i'm definitely the ugliest person here. which is not to say that i think i'm BAD looking but it's just everyone else is so luscious! but i felt better when i got to the more touristy part of town. turns out i was in the slums. in the slums of lisbon, everyone is really hot. it's strange.


That's cause Lisbon is full of...brazilians,and poor ones!

Yeah,generalizing is not right,like people always assume that because were brazilian we have to be beautiful ::)

I know at least 3 ugly people :D


I've never heard of that one.  :D