I don't think I've really discussed this before, but I envy attractive cisgender women. A lot. Some for reasons I'm not sure I can discuss on this forum. I don't really feel great about being a guy (even though I have come from a background that was rather homophobic and gender policing, which would have probably dismissed modern feminism as "man-hating"), and am a little annoyed that I'm far more similar to like a guy that wears a stupid short back and sides haircut than a girl.


However, I am on the fence about this. I'm not sure if my parents, my younger siblings and my extended family will be accepting of this, and even if they were, I don't really want to open up to them about it. Even if I did want to open up to them about it, I feel like I may be trying to push myself and society further into gender conformity if I were, to, say transition to be a woman. I don't want it to be even more restrictive for how a guy can express himself, but I admit partly because I don't like what's seen as attractive or sometimes even just acceptable on guys. If I were in a place where being transgender is not accepted, I feel like this would at least temporarily help trans individuals there.


I have been seeing a counsellor about this (only two sessions so far) but I feel like it's gonna be very difficult for me to achieve closure on this. Hopefully they and this thread will help me get there.

I don't want it to be even more restrictive for how a guy can express himself, but I admit partly because I don't like what's seen as attractive or sometimes even just acceptable on guys.

D m , I don't know what else to say, but I know what you mean if you're only attracted to other long-haired emo guys. I can't find anyone in this hellhole I live in (Texas) that I actually like.