As I said, my best friend during middle and high school died in December at aged 26 of an overdose.
I had not seen her since maybe 2007, because of my own problems; and the last time we really spoke was in February 2016. Still, even at the time she was always at the back of my mind. My first love, and I was really intimidated by her. We had a lot of adventures and fun times in middle and high school and it is on my fault we didn't become even closer or continue past that. I got so wrapped up in anxiety and in wanting "love" I neglected my friends almost totally....

Now, she's dead, and at night, I think back and I feel such guilt, and wonder what might've been, and why I wasn't so self centered and I wish she was above ground to tell her a few things or to have ONE MORE DAY to hang out, go to the mall, like we used to, that was our place...Just one day so I could say..."Liv...." and tell her everything.

Is it normal to last this long? I feel like the shadow of a lack of a closure, and of my own guilt, will stand over me forever. And a part of me wants that.

I think it lasts a long time, if not then forever. No matter how long ago a loved one has passed on, that person will always be somewhere on your mind.

For some, it lasts for years. I'm not trying to be morbid.

grief can last for as long as you want it too but you'll always know that they'll be in your hearts all the time. :)

I've had several family members die when I was still a kid. For that reason, I get over death unsettingly quickly, to the point I'm sometimes ashamed that I'm not more sad. I'm usually over it in a few days.

The longest I've been sad is perhaps my maternal grandmothers death when I was 12. That lasted about a month. When my paternal grandmother passed away-and I was a lot more closer to her, she was like a second mother to me-I only truly mourned for a weekend.  :-[

my issues last forever.  I get guilt coming back and forth to me.  What is this? it anything really my fault?  did I ever intend to do anything bad?

Grief is a strange creature. There is no right or wrong way to grieve just like there is no time limit. Personally, I don't think grief EVER goes away. I really hate when people say, "Get over it." You NEVER get OVER it-but you do learn to deal with it. You learn to live with it. Sometimes it takes a long time for you to learn to deal with it. Just when you think are dealing with it, it will come back and bite you again.

I am sorry for your loss and I hope that are able to find some peace.


Cat

Over the years so many family members and family friends have passed away and we have dealt with it in the best way, just trying to remember the good and bad times we had with the person.

I think it lasts a long time, if not then forever. No matter how long ago a loved one has passed on, that person will always be somewhere on your mind.

I agree with this.




Over the years so many family members and family friends have passed away and we have dealt with it in the best way, just trying to remember the good and bad times we had with the person.

These are excellent points too. Not just with human family members/friends, but with pets as well.

I'm not sure it ever goes away. Just the degrees of how you deal with it. After a while I'm not sure it's even "grief" anymore, it's just part of the fabric of your being, like scar tissue.

I'm not sure it ever goes away. Just the degrees of how you deal with it. After a while I'm not sure it's even "grief" anymore, it's just part of the fabric of your being, like scar tissue.


Everybody deals with grief in their own way, it may last for years.