I have been meaning to make this topic for some time, and it had been on my mind because what's wrong with being promiscuous? It's not like folks who are into that are purposely hurting others. It's just that they wanna have fun! Why are people (especially girls) are shamed for liking/loving sex? I don't think there's nothing with it as they are not breaking up other people's relationships, marriages, and other partnerships. 

I thought I posted this last night but it went missing!

My first thought was to blame religion, but I don't think it's that. The shame associated with promiscuity sounds like a global phenomenon, unless someone wants to correct me. I think it's because sex used to be very closely tied to pregnancy, before the advent of the pill and the condom. If you were going to have sex, you were likely going to get pregnant. The pregnancy was often unwanted, and since men don't get pregnant, it is usually women who are blamed for getting pregnant. That's why it's probably more shameful for women. Of course there's no reason to think like this anymore in this post-1960 world, but old habits die hard. That's just my guess on why promiscuity is shamed though. If there's an actual scientifically validated reason as to why this is, I'd love to hear it!

Arguably, I was a bit promiscuous from late 2015 to late 2016 (keyword "arguably", LOL). I had multiple hookups. Personally, it was fun sometimes, but over time it made feel like a sex object; like I wasn't good for anything but sex. They didn't want to get to know me, they didn't want to talk to me, they just wanted sex, get it over with, and leave. That's how they treated me, and I'm not innocent either, that's how I treated other people too, probably even worse.

My breaking point was this one guy, he was hot and I had reason to believe we'd have a lot in common. I'd been crushing on him for about 5 months at that point. I was waiting out for the very remote chance he'd talk to me first, but that didn't happen, so I grew a pair and said hey. He gave me his address and told me to come over (he lives very near me). I walked over to his house, and as soon as I entered, his hands and mouth were all over me. I didn't even know his name or anything! Right from the beginning I felt very self aware; I really wanted to get to know him, so I made an effort to be "extra". When the deed was done, he didn't even let me stay for long, he needed me out. So I left. I texted him later telling him I had fun, and maybe we can see each other again. He never replied. He wasn't even interested in a round two, let alone getting to know me. Typical.  :-\\ I felt used and thrown away like the trash, it was humiliating. That was my wakeup call to at least take a break from that lifestyle.

And like I said, I'm not innocent. The situation with my current boyfriend was similar, except the roles were reversed. He was trying to get closer while I just wanted the sex. I was really heartless and made him cry even. I'm not going to say I enjoyed that. I've settled down with him now. He's really too nice and makes himself vulnerable, I can't let him out into that harsh world of casual sex again. ;D

So yeah there's still a reason for a modern stigma. I think people who have casual sex treat other people really badly (it seems to be a universal thing), and they make themselves vulnerable and invite bad treatment in return. There's also a lot of drugs involved, a lot. Some people don't have sex until you take drugs or they take drugs. They might even drug you, and the next thing you know you're lying naked in some stranger's backyard. I never took any drugs, not even weed, in the off chance it might have been "spiced" with something. That's not even getting into things like STIs, which are very rampant, and you could catch one and infect other people if you're not careful. A lot of people want to do it "bareback" as they call it, unprotected sex, and they only tell you when you're already with your pants off, it's a very scary and vulnerable position to be in.

In short,  there's really no logical reason for a modern stigma, it's just that people who are promiscuous tend not to be model citizens themselves. Of course, it's not okay to generalize, I wouldn't want people to judge me like that either, but there are a lot of sketchy people out there and they seem to love casual sex more than others.  :-X

I thought I posted this last night but it went missing!

My first thought was to blame religion, but I don't think it's that. The shame associated with promiscuity sounds like a global phenomenon, unless someone wants to correct me. I think it's because sex used to be very closely tied to pregnancy, before the advent of the pill and the condom. If you were going to have sex, you were likely going to get pregnant. The pregnancy was often unwanted, and since men don't get pregnant, it is usually women who are blamed for getting pregnant. That's why it's probably more shameful for women. Of course there's no reason to think like this anymore in this post-1960 world, but old habits die hard. That's just my guess on why promiscuity is shamed though. If there's an actual scientifically validated reason as to why this is, I'd love to hear it!

Arguably, I was a bit promiscuous from late 2015 to late 2016 (keyword "arguably", LOL). I had multiple hookups. Personally, it was fun sometimes, but over time it made feel like a sex object; like I wasn't good for anything but sex. They didn't want to get to know me, they didn't want to talk to me, they just wanted sex, get it over with, and leave. That's how they treated me, and I'm not innocent either, that's how I treated other people too, probably even worse.

My breaking point was this one guy, he was hot and I had reason to believe we'd have a lot in common. I'd been crushing on him for about 5 months at that point. I was waiting out for the very remote chance he'd talk to me first, but that didn't happen, so I grew a pair and said hey. He gave me his address and told me to come over (he lives very near me). I walked over to his house, and as soon as I entered, his hands and mouth were all over me. I didn't even know his name or anything! Right from the beginning I felt very self aware; I really wanted to get to know him, so I made an effort to be "extra". When the deed was done, he didn't even let me stay for long, he needed me out. So I left. I texted him later telling him I had fun, and maybe we can see each other again. He never replied. He wasn't even interested in a round two, let alone getting to know me. Typical.  :-\\ I felt used and thrown away like the trash, it was humiliating. That was my wakeup call to at least take a break from that lifestyle.

And like I said, I'm not innocent. The situation with my current boyfriend was similar, except the roles were reversed. He was trying to get closer while I just wanted the sex. I was really heartless and made him cry even. I'm not going to say I enjoyed that. I've settled down with him now. He's really too nice and makes himself vulnerable, I can't let him out into that harsh world of casual sex again. ;D

So yeah there's still a reason for a modern stigma. I think people who have casual sex treat other people really badly (it seems to be a universal thing), and they make themselves vulnerable and invite bad treatment in return. There's also a lot of drugs involved, a lot. Some people don't have sex until you take drugs or they take drugs. They might even drug you, and the next thing you know you're lying naked in some stranger's backyard. I never took any drugs, not even weed, in the off chance it might have been "spiced" with something. That's not even getting into things like STIs, which are very rampant, and you could catch one and infect other people if you're not careful. A lot of people want to do it "bareback" as they call it, unprotected sex, and they only tell you when you're already with your pants off, it's a very scary and vulnerable position to be in.

In short,  there's really no logical reason for a modern stigma, it's just that people who are promiscuous tend not to be model citizens themselves. Of course, it's not okay to generalize, I wouldn't want people to judge me like that either, but there are a lot of sketchy people out there and they seem to love casual sex more than others.  :-X


Was it a Pikachu? Those animals are always in heat. Twirling around like they're hot stuff, or whatever!

Was it a Pikachu? Those animals are always in heat? Twirling around like they're hot stuff and whatever!


Yeah, it was the evil one.

https://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/4/44/Sparky_and_Pikachu.png/220px-Sparky_and_Pikachu.png

There's a far bigger stigma against people whom are virgins nowadays. It angers me that there are people out there who are pro-promiscuity, yet they belittle those who may be virgins past a certain age. The promiscuous ones are NOT the ones that are having a hard time in today's society (at least not in modern Western society). I'm sick of people showing sympathy towards them, while simultaneously stereotyping, putting down, and insulting those that are still virgins. The next time someone insults me for being a virgin/not having a girlfriend, I may actually punch them in the face. It's bad enough that I'm struggling to find someone for myself, but to have scumbags insult me and make me feel like I'm not worth it is too much.

Also, religion aside, there's something more pure and exciting about virginity. It's kind of like the value, or price, or something, the more rare it is, the higher its value.  :P

I come from the 70s, which might be considered "the golden age of promiscuity" and I can say it has it's pros and it's cons.  The advent of AIDS in 1981 seemed to slam the door shut on the 70s brand of promiscuity, but maybe it just went more underground at that time. One needs to separate promiscuity from shallowness. I suppose it is possible to be promiscuous without being shallow, but too many promiscuous people are seriously shallow. I think it's the shallowness that may be the problem more than the promiscuity itself.

There's a far bigger stigma against people whom are virgins nowadays. It angers me that there are people out there who are pro-promiscuity, yet they belittle those who may be virgins past a certain age. The promiscuous ones are NOT the ones that are having a hard time in today's society (at least not in modern Western society). I'm sick of people showing sympathy towards them, while simultaneously stereotyping, putting down, and insulting those that are still virgins. The next time someone insults me for being a virgin/not having a girlfriend, I may actually punch them in the face. It's bad enough that I'm struggling to find someone for myself, but to have scumbags insult me and make me feel like I'm not worth it is too much.


Yeah, there's a lot of undeserved stigma and misconceptions about virgins. I remember even when I was 15-17, people gave me a lot of sh*t for not having a girlfriend and being a virgin. People act like it's some illness or condition that you should cure instantly. It's not a healthy mentality. People should do it with someone they trust and whenever they feel ready.


Also, religion aside, there's something more pure and exciting about virginity. It's kind of like the value, or price, or something, the more rare it is, the higher its value.  :P


That's true. There's still something very poetic about it. ;D

I thought I posted this last night but it went missing!

My first thought was to blame religion, but I don't think it's that. The shame associated with promiscuity sounds like a global phenomenon unless someone wants to correct me. I think it's because sex used to be very closely tied to pregnancy, before the advent of the pill and the condom. If you were going to have sex, you were likely going to get pregnant. The pregnancy was often unwanted, and since men don't get pregnant, it is usually women who are blamed for getting pregnant. That's why it's probably more shameful for women. Of course, there's no reason to think like this anymore in this post-1960 world, but old habits die hard. That's just my guess on why promiscuity is shamed though. If there's an actual scientifically validated reason as to why this is, I'd love to hear it!

Arguably, I was a bit promiscuous from late 2015 to late 2016 (keyword "arguably", LOL). I had multiple hookups. Personally, it was fun sometimes, but over time it made feel like a sex object; like I wasn't good for anything but sex. They didn't want to get to know me, they didn't want to talk to me, they just wanted sex, get it over with, and leave. That's how they treated me, and I'm not innocent either, that's how I treated other people too, probably even worse.

My breaking point was this one guy, he was hot and I had reason to believe we'd have a lot in common. I'd been crushing on him for about 5 months at that point. I was waiting out for the very remote chance he'd talk to me first, but that didn't happen, so I grew a pair and said hey. He gave me his address and told me to come over (he lives very near me). I walked over to his house, and as soon as I entered, his hands and mouth were all over me. I didn't even know his name or anything! Right from the beginning, I felt very self-aware; I really wanted to get to know him, so I made an effort to be "extra". When the deed was done, he didn't even let me stay for long, he needed me out. So I left. I texted him later telling him I had fun, and maybe we can see each other again. He never replied. He wasn't even interested in a round two, let alone getting to know me. Typical.  :-\\ I felt used and thrown away like the trash, it was humiliating. That was my wakeup call to at least take a break from that lifestyle.

And like I said, I'm not innocent. The situation with my current boyfriend was similar, except the roles were reversed. He was trying to get closer while I just wanted the sex. I was really heartless and made him cry even. I'm not going to say I enjoyed that. I've settled down with him now. He's really too nice and makes himself vulnerable, I can't let him out into that harsh world of casual sex again. ;D

So yeah there's still a reason for a modern stigma. I think people who have casual sex treat other people really badly (it seems to be a universal thing), and they make themselves vulnerable and invite bad treatment in return. There's also a lot of drugs involved, a lot. Some people don't have sex until you take drugs or they take drugs. They might even drug you, and the next thing you know you're lying naked in some stranger's backyard. I never took any drugs, not even weed, in the off chance it might have been "spiced" with something. That's not even getting into things like STIs, which is very rampant, and you could catch one and infect other people if you're not careful. A lot of people want to do it "bareback" as they call it, unprotected sex, and they only tell you when you're already with your pants off, it's a very scary and vulnerable position to be in.

In short,  there's really no logical reason for a modern stigma, it's just that people who are promiscuous tend not to be model citizens themselves. Of course, it's not okay to generalize, I wouldn't want people to judge me like that either, but there are a lot of sketchy people out there and they seem to love casual sex more than others.  :-X
I would have to say that this a great analysis, and I appreciate the time you put in. I honestly think religion has somewhat to do with it because sex before marriage was a big no-no. I agree though that it wasn't always the case. Pregnancy was a huge deal, and women were vulnerable unless the guy had a condom. So, they only did it when they were ready. I think I remember reading that casual sex is on the rise with the exception of this generation (we're doing it less due to a number of factors).

And are you still promiscuous?


There's a far bigger stigma against people who are virgins nowadays. It angers me that there are people out there who are pro-promiscuity, yet they belittle those who may be virgins past a certain age. The promiscuous ones are NOT the ones that are having a hard time in today's society (at least not in modern Western society). I'm sick of people showing sympathy towards them, while simultaneously stereotyping, putting down, and insulting those that are still virgins. The next time someone insults me for being a virgin/not having a girlfriend, I may actually punch them in the face. It's bad enough that I'm struggling to find someone for myself, but to have scumbags insult me and make me feel like I'm not worth it is too much.
I agree. I was even told that if I didn't lose it by a certain age, I was going to be a virgin forever. >:(. I know for sure that was not true at all. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin because some people rather wait for right person than lose it to the wrong one. I hope someday you DO find the person you're looking for as I have been struggling with that myself.

I come from the 70s, which might be considered "the golden age of promiscuity" and I can say it has it's pros and it's cons.  The advent of AIDS in 1981 seemed to slam the door shut on the 70s brand of promiscuity, but maybe it just went more underground at that time. One needs to separate promiscuity from shallowness. I suppose it is possible to be promiscuous without being shallow, but too many promiscuous people are seriously shallow. I think it's the shallowness that may be the problem more than the promiscuity itself.

Yeah, I totally agree with you.

I would have to say that this a great analysis, and I appreciate the time you put in. I honestly think religion has somewhat to do with it because sex before marriage was a big no-no. I agree though that it wasn't always the case. Pregnancy was a huge deal, and women were vulnerable unless the guy had a condom. So, they only did it when they were ready. I think I remember reading that casual sex is on the rise with the exception of this generation (we're doing it less due to a number of factors).

And are you still promiscuous?

Well, in the 3 most popular and Abrahamic religions of the world (Christianity, Judaism, Islam)...it is still a big "no-no". However, in English speaking countries like the US, UK, Canada, Australia, etc...people have become more "lax" on the idea of sex before marriage. I think it has to do with the fact that all of the countries I mentioned has become less Christian and also many people who are Christian don't find it that big of a deal or are more spiritual than religious (like me). There are still some Christians who remain virgins until marriage like Seattle Seahawks QB Russell Wilson, for example.

I come from the 70s, which might be considered "the golden age of promiscuity" and I can say it has it's pros and it's cons.  The advent of AIDS in 1981 seemed to slam the door shut on the 70s brand of promiscuity, but maybe it just went more underground at that time. One needs to separate promiscuity from shallowness. I suppose it is possible to be promiscuous without being shallow, but too many promiscuous people are seriously shallow. I think it's the shallowness that may be the problem more than the promiscuity itself.


The 1960s and 1970s were the "Sexual revolution" years.


And are you still promiscuous?


Nope.

Too tired to quote everybody this morning, plus my point echoes much of what Slowpoke already said.


I have been meaning to make this topic for some time, and it had been on my mind because what's wrong with being promiscuous? It's not like folks who are into that are purposely hurting others. It's just that they wanna have fun! Why are people (especially girls) are shamed for liking/loving sex? I don't think there's nothing with it as they are not breaking up other people's relationships, marriages, and other partnerships.

Because sex is heavily intertwined with love and feelings for other people. Unless you're a hooker just doing your job, for most individuals even just to take someone to bed for a one night stand you've generally got to like something about the person to do that. There's got to be some amount of physical attraction or feeling of being drawn to their personality to get all worked up about someone. I'm not talking about a hookup here or there between relationships. Might as well sew a few oats, you only live once I suppose. Just be smart about it.

The problem is that some of these people never want to settle down, never really want commitment and that can leave some of these partners to feel lead on, especially in FWB situations. You want to feel like your partner cares about you, and to me actions speak louder than words when the person you've been intimate with on different levels over some length of time won't even call you  their girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.

As for why women are disproportionately shamed for this while men seemingly get away with it? The outdated notion that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. Absolute nonsense to anyone who knows better, and sadly the line of propaganda I recall being fed during sex ed back in high school. I sheesh you not, the teacher phrased it just like that! The thing is, of course women have those desires too and it shouldn't be taboo to acknowledge the fact.  ::)


There's a far bigger stigma against people whom are virgins nowadays. It angers me that there are people out there who are pro-promiscuity, yet they belittle those who may be virgins past a certain age. The promiscuous ones are NOT the ones that are having a hard time in today's society (at least not in modern Western society). I'm sick of people showing sympathy towards them, while simultaneously stereotyping, putting down, and insulting those that are still virgins. The next time someone insults me for being a virgin/not having a girlfriend, I may actually punch them in the face. It's bad enough that I'm struggling to find someone for myself, but to have scumbags insult me and make me feel like I'm not worth it is too much.

Unfortunately that's true too, and it shouldn't be. Sex is just a thing, losing ones virginity is hardly the monumental milestone in life it's made out to be. It'll be over with and you're still the same. No big deal is made whether or not you've done anything else in life, like eating a certain food or having traveled to a certain place, but sex? That's the one that matters!  ::)

The stigma against male virgins is far more harsh than it is against females, but make no mistake, women who've waited what some ignoramuses have decided is too long and they catch hell for it too. One of the popular idiotic assumptions is that they're inexperienced and therefore will be crap in bed. I can personally attest to it that this is the biggest bunch of bullcrap you'll ever hear. Some of the guys I've been involved with who've bragged that they've had no complaints from past partners were some of the worst in bed. Why was that? These women clearly didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise, and the guys in question only cared about themselves during the deed. Communication is key, and clearly some people have forgotten that they too had a first time.

This is what separates human beings from the other animals ... self control!  Promiscuity is not a healthy state of being and can lead to any amount of problems. It may be fun for a while ... but once bad habits are formed life can spiral out of control quickly.

This is what separates human beings from the other animals ... self control!  Promiscuity is not a healthy state of being and can lead to any amount of problems. It may be fun for a while ... but once bad habits are formed life can spiral out of control quickly.


Also, STD's!  :D

Too tired to quote everybody this morning, plus my point echoes much of what Slowpoke already said.
Because sex is heavily intertwined with love and feelings for other people. Unless you're a hooker just doing your job, for most individuals even just to take someone to bed for a one night stand you've generally got to like something about the person to do that. There's got to be some amount of physical attraction or feeling of being drawn to their personality to get all worked up about someone. I'm not talking about a hookup here or there between relationships. Might as well sew a few oats, you only live once I suppose. Just be smart about it.

The problem is that some of these people never want to settle down, never really want commitment and that can leave some of these partners to feel lead on, especially in FWB situations. You want to feel like your partner cares about you, and to me, actions speak louder than words when the person you've been intimate with on different levels for some length of time won't even call you their girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.

As for why women are disproportionately shamed for this while men seemingly get away with it? The outdated notion that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. Absolute nonsense to anyone who knows better, and sadly the line of propaganda I recall being fed during sex ed back in high school. I sheesh you not, the teacher phrased it just like that! The thing is, of course, women have those desires too and it shouldn't be taboo to acknowledge the fact.  ::)
Yeah, that true. Many one night stands are about taking someone to bed for sex until it could become a relationship.

I agree! There are folks out there who are not into that and would to keep having one night stands with others. However, there comes a time and place when it does get old, and the person needs to start having a commitment or be left behind without anyone.

I totally agree! I have no problems if women love or even enjoy sex. Why should they be judged for doing something that's natural? As long as they are staying safe out there from diseases, it should be great for women to have those desires.