The thread about beards got me thinking about how polarizing aspects of a person can be. There's obvious ones that everyone shares, like poor hygiene and awful personality, but then we all have own little hang-ups and turn-offs.

I for one cannot seem to feign an attraction towards guys who wear glasses...I don't know what is is about glasses that just seem to negate a handsome face to me. Some people find them appealing, perhaps in a "sexy nerd" type way, but not me. I know it sounds ridiculous since glasses aren't even part of a person, but I've just never found them to be flattering on any guys. No offense to all you guys who wear glasses! It's not you, it's me!

I also really do not like long hair on a guy. It's a little too unconventional. There's just something kind of tacky and vaguely feminine-looking about it in my humble opinion. On the other end of the hair spectrum, I also tend not to go for bald guys...

Btw this thread is not meant to offend anyone who embodies these traits, nor am I saying I'd absolutely never give someone a shot who had either of these things, I'm just stating my personal preferences :)

So feel free to share your deal breaker and weird hang-ups you have about attraction (or lack-thereof!)

I actually think glasses can be rather sexy on a guy.  :)

For me here are my deal breakers:
-one or two tattoos are fine but there are some very thin lines---I don't like them when they're covered all over the body, ginormous, or on the face---no thank you

-consistently bad hygiene----I'll give a guy a break on the occasional bad day (we all have those) but if he's got a fear with showers, then I'm afraid it's over

-being a little chubby is fine, but I'm sorry, I'm probably not going to give you a chance if you're 100lbs overweight

-insisting that I don't give him kids---yeah I'm fine if he's not really up to having them since I need to be a little flexible at my age, but it would be the way he approached it that would be a deal breaker---I guess having a hostile approach to anything would be more of the deal breaker

-hard drug user---I'm sorry, but I'm not going through that drama

-the extreme beta type---I'm talking about men who don't care about their careers, their bank accounts, never planning on owning a home, not having a car, and most of all, letting the woman do the work---I know that sounds shallow but I don't want to be the leading lady (babysitter).

I know I sound like a shallow person (go ahead, fudge me), but I have to add a couple more:

-Being bald is fine with me and same thing with having long hair...if you have a beautiful set of locks....and that means having long hair with a full set of hair---being partially bald with long hair (think Jeff Russo from Freaks and Geeks) is a major turnoff off for me.
-And that also means comb-overs---you're not fooling anyone!

-being curvy (definitely a must)
-she has to be smart or bit less smarter than me
-she can't smoke or drink
-she could be a bit overweight (I don't mind)

Major nos are drug use or alcohol abuse.  Also, when they show signs of being controlling...forcing people out of your life.  Being hyper critical of you, basically trying to break you down, make you feel like you are less than a human. To me that is the beginning of an abusive relationship.  I watched this happen with my sister, the guy would buy her beer, sit and drink it with her then tell her how horrible she was for drinking.  She still suffers from the effect of that jerk.

As for me, a job and willingness to work.  I refuse to support anyone that is able to work. 

Other than that, he has to have a pulse. ;D

Major nos are drug use or alcohol abuse.  Also, when they show signs of being controlling...forcing people out of your life.  Being hyper critical of you, basically trying to break you down, make you feel like you are less than a human. To me that is the beginning of an abusive relationship.  I watched this happen with my sister, the guy would buy her beer, sit and drink it with her then tell her how horrible she was for drinking.  She still suffers from the effect of that jerk.

As for me, a job and willingness to work.  I refuse to support anyone that is able to work. 

Other than that, he has to have a pulse. ;D


Agree about the alcohol. I can tolerate occasional partying but when alcohol takes control of your life, that's the end. 

Men that control every little aspect of your life is another deal breaker. My ex practically insisted that I stop seeing a certain group and told me who I should be friends with.

Abuse including emotional can take a toll on your self-esteem just like your sister's. The guy in my last relationship once told me that I looked rough and then laughed and told me he was "just kidding". I might be a little bit oversensitive but that remark had chipped away some of my confidence.

Agree with you that a guy needs to be employed or at least actively looking for work---not staying at home and chasing his pipe dream job (ie. rock star) or settling for a minimum wage dead-end job.

Other deal breakers:
-arrogance
-not believing in monogamy

As for me, a job and willingness to work.  I refuse to support anyone that is able to work.


Aw,C'mon yes you could. What about living on Medicaid Or Medicare?

-she has to be piss drunk
-loves to party (all night)
-enjoys menage a trois

;D

I'm kidding!  ;)

Gosh, I never really thought about deal breakers. I'm just happy to have someone interested in me in the first place. Hmmm...

No smoking. I spend too much on perfume to have the scent of carcinogens snuff it out and I have asthma, so...NO.
I like big lips on a guy. I like kissing, I think I'm a good kisser so I like to have lips I can enjoy.
I like a decent booty on a guy too.
I don't like really large noses. I mean I'm Black, an ethnic nose comes with the package, but just nothing too large.
The man has to beleive in God. He doesn't really have to be in an organized religion, per se, but I do prefer us to have the same beleifs.
He must have a job. I've spent a greater portion of my life taking care of people. I want someone who can at least help me with the burden, instead of being it entirely.
I want children, so the man has to want children too.
He MUST tolerate Michael Jackson. I cannot see myself with someone who will berate him, or berate me for my interest in him. I've had that enough in my life. That's abuse and I won't tolerate it. I can negotiate baby pageants, or even NOT do those, but I will not move on Michael. I would really prefer to date/marry a male fan. (Evan is not nuts about Michael but he does like him enough)

Also, I don't want a thug. I hate men with the pants hanging off thier asses and acting ignorant. If I put in the effort and lose sleep to put on my make up, and eat salad instead of dessert to fit in my jeans, I want HIM to put forth an effort too. Dress like you are somebody and not a statistic.

I like a decent booty on a guy too.

Well, that leaves me out. :(

He MUST tolerate Michael Jackson. I cannot see myself with someone who will berate him, or berate me for my interest in him. I've had that enough in my life. That's abuse and I won't tolerate it. I can negotiate baby pageants, or even NOT do those, but I will not move on Michael. I would really prefer to date/marry a male fan. (Evan is not nuts about Michael but he does like him enough)

I grew up watching Michael Jackson (but only in the mid 80's.)

I know I sound like a shallow person (go ahead, fudge me), but I have to add a couple more:

-Being bald is fine with me and same thing with having long hair...if you have a beautiful set of locks....and that means having long hair with a full set of hair---being partially bald with long hair (think Jeff Russo from Freaks and Geeks) is a major turnoff off for me.
-And that also means comb-overs---you're not fooling anyone!


You're not shallow, you're honest! Although I'm sure you have personality quirks you don't like too.

When I was young, all that stuff mattered to me.

She has to be Italian
She can’t smoke
She can’t drink to excess
She can’t swear
She can't sleep around
She can’t dress like a tramp 
She can’t like disco or Culture Club or Micheal Jackson or Prince or Madonna crap
She has to like the Beatles, The Brady Bunch and The Waltons
She can’t yell all the time
She can’t be an attention seeking drama queen who never shuts up.
etc…

In real life, I have never dated an Italian girl. I dated a girl from Malaysia, Japan, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, Jamaica..but not Italian. I have dated a girl that smokes, drinks and swore like a sailor. I dated a girl who looks like she spent about $1.98 on her whole outfit.
Who knew huh?

All this stuff really won’t matter to you. The only important things is that you get along, you ‘click” together well, you can communicate with each other, and you are comfortable with each other.  That is all that matters. Take it from an old fart. ;D

Physical things....

-Too fat. I know I'm a hypocrite, but I'm also human. Can't help what I'm attracted too. 30 pounds overweight is fine, but 80 or more isn't my thing.

-Bony thin.
-Long hair.

Personality things...

-Too serious
-Controlling/bossy
-judgmental or snobby

My women must possess fidelity, honesty, and humility.

Thus, I spend my life alone.
8)

Well, that leaves me out. :(

I grew up watching Michael Jackson (but only in the mid 80's.)


Don't feel bad. I wouldn't beso shallow as to not date a guy just because his posterior wasn't big. LOL.
And the thing is with MJ, well, I just want respect really. I don't drag MJ out on the first date. I don't go "Hi, I'm Tiffeny, I'm almost 28, my fave color is purple and I polish MJ's penny loafers for him..."
NAH. The only way Evan knew I liked Michael, was my phone happened to alarm with Billie Jean during lunch. He was like, "You like Mike?" (sips whiskey sour) "Cool"  End of conversation, he got into something about Obama and Michael was left sitting in the background.
Evan is nutty about Beyonce and Daft Punk and Dr. Who. I don't mind. We're both nerds about Hitchcock.


That's also important, we have to have similar tastes in film. Any man that likes film noir or a good Cagney picture is a good guy.

-Bony thin.
-Long hair.

How bony?

That's also important, we have to have similar tastes in film. Any man that likes film noir or a good Cagney picture is a good guy.

I'm not much of a film buff, My Father loves those films.

-she must tell me what to do
-she must have "mother-like" qualities.
-give me direction in my life

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I started a journal. My very first entry in my journal I wrote what I was looking for in partner. This was about a year & a half BEFORE I even met Carlos. After we started dating, I went back & read that journal entry and I was totally floored because it pretty much described him.



Cat

-she must tell me what to do
-she must have "mother-like" qualities.
-give me direction in my life


Are you looking for a like coach?
I'm not a girl, but I don't think a girl is looking for those 3 things in a relationship. Be careful what you wish for. There are some out there who are just looking for someone else to dominate over.

Howard, you are a nice guy and you deserve better than that.

No princesses
No Sex and the City fans
No slutty tattoos

Are you looking for a life coach?
I'm not a girl, but I don't think a girl is looking for those 3 things in a relationship. Be careful what you wish for. There are some out there who are just looking for someone else to dominate over.

Howard, you are a nice guy and you deserve better than that.


I know, I'm too nice of a guy, I guess I need someone on my level.

Are you looking for a life coach?
I'm not a girl, but I don't think a girl is looking for those 3 things in a relationship. Be careful what you wish for. There are some out there who are just looking for someone else to dominate over.

Maybe to give me some motivation.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I started a journal. My very first entry in my journal I wrote what I was looking for in partner. This was about a year & a half BEFORE I even met Carlos. After we started dating, I went back & read that journal entry and I was totally floored because it pretty much described him.



Cat

This is wonderful  :)

No Sex and the City fans


Seriously?!

Seriously?!


I used to watch Sex And The City, I lost interest in that show.

I used to watch Sex And The City, I lost interest in that show.
Did you get to see the movie released in 2008?

Did you get to see the movie released in 2008?


No I didn't.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, I started a journal. My very first entry in my journal I wrote what I was looking for in partner. This was about a year & a half BEFORE I even met Carlos. After we started dating, I went back & read that journal entry and I was totally floored because it pretty much described him.



Cat


The universe granted you your wish.  :)

-she must tell me what to do
-she must have "mother-like" qualities.
-give me direction in my life


Dominatrix??

Seriously?!


Well, okay, but don't make me watch it with you!
8-P

Well, okay, but don't make me watch it with you!
8-P


God, I'd never subject a man to Sex and the City. As long as I don't have to watch wrestling with him...

The universe granted you your wish.  :)


Yup.  ;D Actually, it was a shooting star. Seriously. I saw my very first shooting star and I wished for "HIM." By that time I had already met Carlos but didn't realize he was "HIM." It was probably a few months after that when Carlos first asked me out.


Cat

In terms of personality, I don't think I could deal with any "jealous" types. It kind of goes with being controlling depending on how he handles his jealousy, like if he tries to tell me I can't talk to or hang out with certain people. I've had a few female friends who cut ties with me once they got a bf because the bf felt threatened by me (I was in the closet at the time). I mean, am I wrong, or should trust in a relationship just be kind of a given? If you don't trust the person you're with then what's the point?

Same with clingy types. I CANNOT be the be all and end all of someone's existence. I need my space. Even going a day or two without talking or seeing each other shouldn't be a big deal IMO.

Dominatrix??


yes, please!  :D

God, I'd never subject a man to Sex and the City. As long as I don't have to watch wrestling with him...


what's wrong with wrestling? ???

yes, please!  :D

;D

Listen, honey, if I gotta call the cops on you more than three times a week and learn to sleep with one eye open we're gonna have to have  a talk, you understand?

http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw3vetACsk1qzj6oro6_1280.jpg

what's wrong with wrestling? ???


I don't like it. It's a barbaric display of homoeroticism, (I mean, come on, panties and knee-high lace up boots?) and I beleive all that fighting to be fake. I've always seen wrestling as a soap opera for men. I mean if I want to see a real fight, I'll hang around the mall parking lot. Everntually there will be a fender bender, and fists will fly.

I like other real sporting events, just not this.

As long as they have good hygiene and a pulse, I'm cool.

I don't like it. It's a barbaric display of homo eroticism, (I mean, come on, panties and knee-high lace up boots?) and I beleive all that fighting to be fake. I've always seen wrestling as a soap opera for men. I mean if I want to see a real fight, I'll hang around the mall parking lot. Eventually there will be a fender bender, and fists will fly.

I like other real sporting events, just not this.



I guess that's what us men like even though it's fake and predetermined and all sometimes.

As long as they have good hygiene and a pulse, I'm cool.


I have perfect hygiene, I put on deodorant, I spray on some cologne, I shave every day to try to keep that baby face image of myself and my pulse is always in check.

-she needs to like and enjoy coffee and donuts
-enjoys wrestling
-likes disco and funk

Somehow, before this all over,at least 2 people will come together because of this thread.

I am not a fan of bad teeth or poor hygiene.

Personality wise, I have trouble getting along with men who have misogynist views, extreme arrogance, liars, priggishness, or consistently rude behavior.

I also absolutely cannot tolerate overly clingy people.

It's a barbaric display of homoeroticism


Nothing wrong with that, if it's your bag!  I just remember in school when the kids who loved pro-wrestling used to hassle me, I was like, you're the one with naked muscleman mags in your backpack and you call ME a f*g? WTF?
:D

I am not a fan of bad teeth or poor hygiene.

Personality wise, I have trouble getting along with men who have misogynist views, extreme arrogance, liars, priggishness, or consistently rude behavior.

I also absolutely cannot tolerate overly clingy people.



what about bad breath?

Hygiene is a must!
Looks wise, take care of yourself. A little heavy, no big deal, but obese is too much.
Don't be hairy. Covered in it other than your head is disgusting to me.
Be understanding. Don't try to talk me into things I'm not down with doing.
Don't be afraid of everything.
Have a job. Some kind of job. Don't be too broke all the time to hang out either.
Non drug user should go without saying too.
Non controlling/jealous type. That's a given.
Not someone who's hung up on their exes and how many women they've had, nor ask me how many guys. It brings up unnecessary feelings.
They have to be similar in beliefs and interests with me, not polar opposite. I lose patience with someone too different.
I like my space, so respect that.
Don't be overly romantic either, I get freaked out by it. It's not in my nature to be that way.


Sorry if that list sounds a little mean, but I know now what I DON'T like.

I don't want a damaged person. Like I've taken care of people already and unless I pop out a child, I do not want to mother someone else. I don't really care what kind of homelife you had prior. Whether your parents were addicts or alcoholics or criminals or whatever. Like I know that leaves scars on people and can mold them in unflattering ways. But if I see a person making a real, honest effort to overcome those woes and take healthy steps to move PAST thier past, then I will give them a chance.
But if the person is consumed and just vile and and decrepit in thier personality without trying to seek the help, I can't. I'm not Dr. Phil and I look terrible in a suit.
It just makes me sad some people can't move past thier past. I'm moving from mine and I'm happy. Evan didn't have the greatest upbrining, but you'd never know it, because he is so positive and  surrounds himself with positive people and influences. And his support helps me. That's a relationship to me, mutual support and love and care.  :)

I hear you apollonia1986,

while I agree that some people are so damaged it may take them decades to heal from whatever damaged them, there are people that use their 'poor me' attitude to justify treating people like sheesh. The latter will never get any sympathy from me.

I hear you apollonia1986,

while I agree that some people are so damaged it may take them decades to heal from whatever damaged them, there are people that use their 'poor me' attitude to justify treating people like sheesh. The latter will never get any sympathy from me.


I understand that because I used to be a "poor me" person. Then I got to thinking. No one is going to give a damn about me, until I start giving a damn about myself. Why just today, I noticed something terrible happening, and usually, where I would cry, I said "Tiff, be strong, ask God for help, and take it head-on" which I will do, no matter what happens. I figure, if I could deal with being bullied and my mom's health troubles and dad's and my own, and still manage to SMILE, I can do anything. And if I see someone doing this too, I will encourage them and cheer them on.  :) Otherwise, the bitch switch is flipped and I give no sympanthy either.

Don't be hairy. Covered in it other than your head is disgusting to me.

I'm not that hairy, it's only my chest and my back.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v98/speedyboris/renandstimpy/golden12-300x230_zps74dccb22.jpg

I reckon this is a no-go. (I saw this character, "Bubba" in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon the other day)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v98/speedyboris/renandstimpy/golden12-300x230_zps74dccb22.jpg

I reckon this is a no-go. (I saw this character, "Bubba" in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon the other day)


That's too much hair.

How about these?

http://babydognames.com/images/chewbacca.jpg
http://www.legendsofamerica.com/photos-ghosts/HairyGuy.jpg

:D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v98/speedyboris/renandstimpy/golden12-300x230_zps74dccb22.jpg

I reckon this is a no-go. (I saw this character, "Bubba" in a Ren and Stimpy cartoon the other day)

And back boobs too! Definately a no go.

Hygiene is a must!

always look clean and well shaven, brush teeth and floss good and try to have a neat appearance.

And back boobs too! Definately a no go.


no guy wants to have back boobs.

no guy wants to have back boobs.

The one in that drawing looks like he needed a bra! Or two. One in front, one in back!

The one in that drawing looks like he needed a bra! Or two. One in front, one in back!


Do you like guys clean shaven with a babyface look?  ???

Do you like guys clean shaven with a babyface look?  ???

Preferred, but it depends how they grow facial hair and it's consistency. A Duck Dynasty beard is too much, no matter what.

Preferred, but it depends how they grow facial hair and it's consistency. A Duck Dynasty beard is too much, no matter what.


This is me when I had a mustache 12 years ago.

I like women who have that smell of shampooed hair and some nice perfume, that's a turn-on for me.

Oddly enough, I'll give a man a chance if he's unemployed. Yet if he's not sufficient, that is a deal breaker.
I know that might not make sense so I'll clarify.

My aunt's husband was unemployed for several months but was actively applying to various places. In my opinion, he was still a self-sufficient man.

Meanwhile, I have an ex who's been employed at the same company for several years. The catch is that it's a dead-end job, he has no car, lives at home with no plans of ever moving out, and basically didn't seem to have any ambitions other than travelling. To me, he came across as being insufficient. I might sound shallow, but that is a deal breaker.

Oddly enough, I'll give a man a chance if he's unemployed. Yet if he's not sufficient, that is a deal breaker.
I know that might not make sense so I'll clarify.

could he be on SSI and Food Stamps?

could he be on SSI and Food Stamps?

I know people who are, and they aren't leeching off the state. They do legit need it, but the state screws them over in favor of the cheaters. At least this state does. I know there's SSI and SSDI and one you can hold a job and one you can't at all.

I know people who are, and they aren't leeching off the state. They do legit need it, but the state screws them over in favor of the cheaters. At least this state does. I know there's SSI and SSDI and one you can hold a job and one you can't at all.


Would you date a guy who's on SSI and SSDI?

Would you date a guy who's on SSI and SSDI?

If he wasn't a freeloader on it, sure. If you need it, you need it and I have a friend who is on it, and he keeps himself busy. Him having a disability isn't his fault. I have one too, but I've been working.

If he wasn't a freeloader on it, sure. If you need it, you need it and I have a friend who is on it, and he keeps himself busy. Him having a disability isn't his fault. I have one too, but I've been working.


I try not to be a freeloader but if you bring in a pizza pie I would give you money for half the pie.

I like women who have that smell of shampooed hair and some nice perfume, that's a turn-on for me.


What kind of perfume? I ask because I have several perfumes I like to wear, but my boyfriend likes my citrusy "Body by Victoria" perfume and the sweeter floral "Japanese Cherry Blossom" by Bath and Body Works. He hates anything with cucumber. LOL.

And not every man is attracted to the same scent.  :)

What kind of perfume? I ask because I have several perfumes I like to wear, but my boyfriend likes my citrusy "Body by Victoria" perfume and the sweeter floral "Japanese Cherry Blossom" by Bath and Body Works. He hates anything with cucumber. LOL.

And not every man is attracted to the same scent.  :)


I can't remember the name of the perfume but it's a strong one.

What kind of perfume? I ask because I have several perfumes I like to wear, but my boyfriend likes my citrusy "Body by Victoria" perfume and the sweeter floral "Japanese Cherry Blossom" by Bath and Body Works. He hates anything with cucumber. LOL.

And not every man is attracted to the same scent.  :)


Yet I've heard from a book that men are attracted to the smell of cinnamon. I should do a survey...

Yet I've heard from a book that men are attracted to the smell of cinnamon. I should do a survey...


Cinnamon scents are a bit too strong for me. Too much can make me sneeze.

http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/e2/a4/e2a439b3d4dbd7def8ecf5f14cfe2683.jpg?itok=EJ9uiW2I

I don't mind a little junk in the trunk. ;)

http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_content_width/hash/e2/a4/e2a439b3d4dbd7def8ecf5f14cfe2683.jpg?itok=EJ9uiW2I

I don't mind a little junk in the trunk. ;)
Howard, you slickster you!

Deal Breakers...

1.) I've dated long-distance-it won't work for me. Tried it...I can't have it.
2.) I don't want a woman that dyes her hair going from dark to blonde. That's just too much of a change for me. I'm not picky about length just color. Just stay with the same or close to your natural hair color.
3.) Have your own car unless you can pick up the train somewhere close to your apartment or house and I can pick you up by where I live.
I'm not going to pick you up every time we go out.
4.) Has to be funny . Is Honest, understanding, and a little more outgoing than me.

Narcissism is a huge deal breaker for me.

Found I am not intended to have relationships. I choose the wrong people that aren't healthy for me nor I for them. The 'right' person for me just doesn't exist, because they would have to be sensitive but not weak, rowdy but not mean, funny but not cruel, adventurous but not crazy, ambitious but not greedy, kind but not a pushover. And extremely open minded with no -ism inclinations (age, race, creed, etc) I would have to find a viking pirate with a poet's soul. Go figure. ;D

Found I am not intended to have relationships. I choose the wrong people that aren't healthy for me nor I for them. The 'right' person for me just doesn't exist, because they would have to be sensitive but not weak, rowdy but not mean, funny but not cruel, adventurous but not crazy, ambitious but not greedy, kind but not a pushover. And extremely open minded with no -ism inclinations (age, race, creed, etc) I would have to find a viking pirate with a poet's soul. Go figure. ;D


I would also like to add conservative but not snobby or judgmental.   

Howard, you slickster you!


;D

I'm not going to pick you up every time we go out.

Do you mean taking the bus to pick her up and meet her somewhere?

Deal Breakers...

1.) I've dated long-distance-it won't work for me. Tried it...I can't have it.
2.) I don't want a woman that dyes her hair going from dark to blonde. That's just too much of a change for me. I'm not picky about length just color. Just stay with the same or close to your natural hair color.
3.) Have your own car unless you can pick up the train somewhere close to your apartment or house and I can pick you up by where I live.
I'm not going to pick you up every time we go out.
4.) Has to be funny . Is Honest, understanding, and a little more outgoing than me.



What happens if she can't drive?



Cat

Do you mean taking the bus to pick her up and meet her somewhere?
Well she could take the bus. I will just take the train to meet her or my car. I just don't want to go to meet her by where she lives every time we go out. That's not fair because it would be too one sided.

Well she could take the bus. I will just take the train to meet her or my car. I just don't want to go to meet her by where she lives every time we go out. That's not fair because it would be too one sided.


Does she live far by bus?

I am way over-the-moon with my hubby, so I am not looking thankyouverymuch, BUT I guess if something unforeseen happened.

I like smart men (they do not have to have gone to college even, just if they read or have life experience.)

I like guys that are gregarious, funny, sometimes even silly, loyal and honest, but not cruel. 

I have very few deal breakers, I think the older I get, the less things matter to me.  As long as we can have interesting conversations, and he doesn't make fun of me or people around him. I'm cool.

I have had relationships where I was just a fill-in until the person he really liked was available.  He even would talk to her for awhile if I came over to watch a movie with him.  I think that would be a deal breaker.  Don't want a married man. 

I never quite figured out how to ask this when I was dating, but really, I always wanted to know if a guy was serious about me.  Not just dating for sex or whatever.  I wanted to know if monoghamy was intended or preferred. If he was interested in settling down (not even right away, but I want to know if that's a possibility.)  I don't really want children, in fact, I can't have them myself, but if he were to have children, part-time custody or full-custody, I'd really have to assess the relationship.
Sounds shallow?  Probably.

I'd really prefer then not to be all-consumed with sports or cars or whatever.

I was once with a guy who said that he would think about marrying me if I got rid of my cats (he was allergic). So, I got rid of him instead.  ;D ;D ;D  To love me is to love my cats. Carlos knew that from day one!


Cat

I am way over-the-moon with my hubby, so I am not looking thankyouverymuch, BUT I guess if something unforeseen happened.

I like smart men (they do not have to have gone to college even, just if they read or have life experience.)

I like guys that are gregarious, funny, sometimes even silly, loyal and honest, but not cruel. 

I have very few deal breakers, I think the older I get, the less things matter to me.  As long as we can have interesting conversations, and he doesn't make fun of me or people around him. I'm cool.

I have had relationships where I was just a fill-in until the person he really liked was available.  He even would talk to her for awhile if I came over to watch a movie with him.  I think that would be a deal breaker.  Don't want a married man. 

I never quite figured out how to ask this when I was dating, but really, I always wanted to know if a guy was serious about me.  Not just dating for sex or whatever.  I wanted to know if monoghamy was intended or preferred. If he was interested in settling down (not even right away, but I want to know if that's a possibility.)  I don't really want children, in fact, I can't have them myself, but if he were to have children, part-time custody or full-custody, I'd really have to assess the relationship.
Sounds shallow?  Probably.

I'd really prefer then not to be all-consumed with sports or cars or whatever.


Yes, a married man is a deal breaker for me.  (lol!)

Hyper masculine - Alpha male
Overly materialistic

I don't date religious people - I'm sure they don't want to date me either  :-X

Any kind of -ists and -ics (racist, sexist, transphobic etc.).

I think smoker might be a deal breaker for me. I'm not sure; as long as they're resolved to quitting then I'd be more generous. A person doing any hard drugs though is definitely a deal breaker (marijuana is okay).

Speaking of which, steroid abuser is also a deal breaker to me.

This is just a gay thing - but any guy who is on PReP and doesn't use a condom. You might have protected yourself from HIV but there are still thousands of other STDs you idiot! Gross.

Sony/PlayStation fans. Don't even bother. No Apple fans either. (Just kidding.)

I obviously have turn-off and turn-ons, but I can't think of any other 'dealbreakers' (à single thing that makes me say no).

Deal-Breakers
FLAKEY guys
"Im sorry but I gotta long-term girlfriend but I still wanna talk to you"
Those who treat others feelings like tissue paper
Pittsburgh Steeler Fans
Who make time for everyone else but you.
Those who never ever text first and require dreaded double texting for a conversation...
So many lol

But I have never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy soooooo

Deal breakers!

If he has a wife/girlfriend
If he sucks up to his mother (Although a guy who loves his mother is okay)
If he shows off how much money he has.
If he's abusive.
If he's jealous because I like to go out and have fun.
If he doesn't let me go out with my family or friends.