I like the part where Jesus was crucified, but I hate it at the same time!  :-\\

http://missionventureministries.files.wordpress.com/2010/04/jesus-on-the-cross1.jpg

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2890609/2/istockphoto_2890609-easter-bunny-incl-jpeg.jpg

And thanks to that, we have Easter!  ;D

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0808-3115-0143_Girl_Reading_the_Bible_Clip_Art_clipart_image.jpg                                                                          http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/14/lurk.gif

Psalms always bring me much comfort and direction.  Just pick one.  Can't go wrong.
:)

Psalms always bring me much comfort and direction.  Just pick one.  Can't go wrong.
:)


No one would want me singing a psalm. The whole church would be empty by the time I'm finished with the first verse.  :-\\

No one would want me singing a psalm. The whole church would be empty by the time I'm finished with the first verse.  :-\\


Remember, the bible does say to make a joyful noise...not necessarily a beautiful noise.  ;)

I like it all.  Mostly the Gospels, though. :)

Deuteronomy.  Those are some cool laws - NOT

I always like the story of Joseph. I guess Joseph & the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat has something to do with that.  But I also like the story of Ruth.


Cat

Genesis is quite glorious....
Leviticus is quite serious and always brings a sort of levelheadedness to my world...
But Psalms, is the most comforting to me. 



Of course the stories, I can always remember from the Children's bible...  The plague of frogs (my favorite picture in the Children's bible), The Story of the Passover, Noah - of course of great interest to an animal lover, Lot and being turned to salt - quite intimidating...

Why do bad things happen to good people?  If God exists, the only reasonable answer is that He does it for the lulz.

http://www.onthesetofnewyork.com/locations/tradingplaces/tradingplaces05.jpg

Or in the case of The Book of Job, in order to settle a cosmic bar bet.

Why do bad things happen to good people?  If God exists, the only reasonable answer is that He does it for the lulz.

http://www.onthesetofnewyork.com/locations/tradingplaces/tradingplaces05.jpg

Or in the case of The Book of Job, in order to settle a cosmic bar bet.


Oh don't we all know about God's sense of humor, which can seem dark at times.  ;D

Remember, the bible does say to make a joyful noise...not necessarily a beautiful noise.  ;)

I like it all.  Mostly the Gospels, though. :)


Yes, I would sound joyful!  ;D

Oh don't we all know about God's sense of humor, which can seem dark at times.  ;D


And when I die, I hope expect to find Him laughing.

Anywhere I could be reading and bring up a song.  I don't mean just christian music, but anything.  Read something about wise, foolish don't remember, but remember singing Stabbed it with their steely knives but they just cant lkill the beast.  I ought to think about reading again some time 

http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/fire.jpg

One thing I don't care for in the bible is all that talk of hell fires. Scares the eyeballs out of me!

http://www.onthesetofnewyork.com/locations/tradingplaces/tradingplaces05.jpg




Trading Places is one of my all-time favorite movies. I have watched it so many times that I know it almost line per line.



Cat

Trading Places is one of my all-time favorite movies. I have watched it so many times that I know it almost line per line.


In all seriousness, that bit about futures trading?  Where Eddie figures out "they're scared"?  That's everything anyone needs to know about trading in 30 seconds.

But it's Easter, and this is a thread about Biblical stories, so let's kick some ass.

L2Wx230gYJw

OK, so it probably wasn't quite like this, but I think the historical Jesus would have appreciated it.  Maybe I'm just projecting my prejudices onto the guy, but I think Monty Python grokked in its fullness what it meant to really "forgive them, for they know not what they do" than most of of Jesus' followers do today.

I mean - what have you got to lose?  You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.  What have you lost?  Nothing!

In all seriousness, that bit about futures trading?  Where Eddie figures out "they're scared"?  That's everything anyone needs to know about trading in 30 seconds.

But it's Easter, and this is a thread about Biblical stories, so let's kick some ass.

L2Wx230gYJw

OK, so it probably wasn't quite like this, but I think the historical Jesus would have appreciated it.  Maybe I'm just projecting my prejudices onto the guy, but I think Monty Python grokked in its fullness what it meant to really "forgive them, for they know not what they do" than most of of Jesus' followers do today.

I mean - what have you got to lose?  You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.  What have you lost?  Nothing!


I once knew a girl who absolutely hated Monty Python. I think the true reason why she hated it was because she was a very strict Christian and thought Python offensive. I like Monty Python though.

Anyways, a bunch of men singing while on crosses brings out my inner giggles! LOL. In real life I think they'd be screaming though.

This book is a great supplement to any Bible.

Don't read it if you're easily offended.

Don't read it if you're easily offended.


I'll take the other side of that bet - I'd consider Lamb essential reading to anyone who takes their faith so seriously they'd be offended by its premise.  Then again, I also think Sympathy for the Devil (free book, Baen science fiction archive) wasn't just good science fiction, it was better theology than most of what I encountered back in the day.

I'll take the other side of that bet - I'd consider Lamb essential reading to anyone who takes their faith so seriously they'd be offended by its premise.  Then again, I also think Sympathy for the Devil (free book, Baen science fiction archive) wasn't just good science fiction, it was better theology than most of what I encountered back in the day.


Yay!  Someone else who has read that book!  I love the thought of Jesus being a young person with a friend like Biff.

I read the first chapter of "Sympathy for the Devil" and it is intriguing.  I will have to finish it up after I do the dishes.

Yay!  Someone else who has read that book!  I love the thought of Jesus being a young person with a friend like Biff.

I read the first chapter of "Sympathy for the Devil" and it is intriguing.  I will have to finish it up after I do the dishes.


CMiEpeKMNQI

Dishes are done!

CMiEpeKMNQI

Dishes are done!


HAAAAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!

I did the dishes, paused to hang with family, and now I'm up to Chapter 23 of Sympathy for the Devil.  Was this ever printed?

The Book of Daniel - the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego

The Book of Daniel - the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego


That's a good one.  One of the first bible stories I learned.

I did the dishes, paused to hang with family, and now I'm up to Chapter 23 of Sympathy for the Devil.  Was this ever printed?


One of the simultaneously awesome yet depressing things about the Baen Archive is that I've never asked that question.  Until now.  Yes, it's available in print.


The Book of Daniel - the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego


I can roll with that.  Even if there'd been no God and they'd just been burnt to a crisp, they'd still have won.  Better to die on one's feet than live on one's knees.

Foo Bar, I read the rest of that story.  It was awesome! :)

I've always loved 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 - verses 4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Like the bible or not, it has some genuinely powerful stuff in there. My favourite part is Proverbs. Proverbs has some wonderful words of wisdom that I try to live by. Of course, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, already mentioned here, are my favourite passages in the bible.

Jesus' birth and death. I also like Psalms and Moses parting the Red Sea. 8)

The Psalms & proverbs. They provide comfort & words of wisdom.

The punchline when they all say "The Apostles!"







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Not sure if this counts since the Gospel of Thomas was not in the official version, but I like this very much:

Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."

Not sure if this counts since the Gospel of Thomas was not in the official version, but I like this very much:


Yeah, I once read some of the parts they left out at the conclave where they decided what was in and what they didn't like much.  It was some time way back, before 1200 AD.  They make interesting reading, those gnostic gospels.  Make one wonder...

Yeah, I once read some of the parts they left out at the conclave where they decided what was in and what they didn't like much.  It was some time way back, before 1200 AD.  They make interesting reading, those gnostic gospels.  Make one wonder...


Sure, the Bible (the 66 books.. 39 Old Testament, 27 New Testament) was pretty much finalised back in the 200s (not officially), but officially within the 5th century.

There were a few other books added to the Catholic Bible in the 1500s, but “The Gospel of Thomas” was not one of them since it was discovered some 70 years ago.

Yeah, I once read some of the parts they left out at the conclave where they decided what was in and what they didn't like much.  It was some time way back, before 1200 AD.  They make interesting reading, those gnostic gospels.  Make one wonder...


it's fascinating to be sure. I would like to have the time to look more into the gnostic books. I know there are several that were found, as Warped was saying.

it's fascinating to be sure. I would like to have the time to look more into the gnostic books. I know there are several that were found, as Warped was saying.


I've read them all, at some point. Try here for a list of books

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_apocrypha

I've read them all, at some point. Try here for a list of books

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_apocrypha


thank you! I will check it out!

My question is why weren't they incorporated into the "official cannon"?  Why were  eliminated even though they were known?  Most were not "new discoveries", like the scrolls found in the 1930's (?), but were known when the "official" new testament was issued

My question is why weren't they incorporated into the "official cannon"?  Why were  eliminated even though they were known?  Most were not "new discoveries", like the scrolls found in the 1930's (?), but were known when the "official" new testament was issued


A simple answer is that those "early church fathers" who met in the Councils of Nicea (and other Councils in the 200s and 300s AD) decided that those current 66 books in the protestant Bible were deemed to be "God inspired" and the others were not.
It is my understanding (from the Protestant Christian perspective) that the Biblical Canon is closed, no books to be added or deleted under any circumstance.

As as aside, I have read some of other books that have been incorporated into the Catholic Bible (Deuterocanonical books) and I (scratches head) don't find any reason why are not in the Protestant Bible (Of course, in my church, I'd be called a Heretic...again, for saying such a thing)

A simple answer is that those "early church fathers" who met in the Councils of Nicea (and other Councils in the 200s and 300s AD) decided that those current 66 books in the protestant Bible were deemed to be "God inspired" and the others were not.
It is my understanding (from the Protestant Christian perspective) that the Biblical Canon is closed, no books to be added or deleted under any circumstance.

As as aside, I have read some of other books that have been incorporated into the Catholic Bible (Deuterocanonical books) and I (scratches head) don't find any reason why are not in the Protestant Bible (Of course, in my church, I'd be called a Heretic...again, for saying such a thing)


Unless I'm misunderstanding you, something is very wrong there since the protestant reformation didn't start until the 1400's

Unless I'm misunderstanding you, something is very wrong there since the protestant reformation didn't start until the 1400's


Nope, it was me who wasn't clear.  ;)

I shouldn't have used "Protestant Bible" in my first sentence, just "Bible" 

A simple answer is that those "early church fathers" who met in the Councils of Nicea (and other Councils in the 200s and 300s AD) decided that those current 66 books in the Bible were deemed to be "God inspired" and the others were not.
It is my understanding (from the Protestant Christian perspective) that the Biblical Canon is closed, no books to be added or deleted under any circumstance.

As as aside, I have read some of other books that have been incorporated into the Catholic Bible (Deuterocanonical books) and I (scratches head) don't find any reason why are not in the Protestant Bible (Of course, in my church, I'd be called a Heretic...again, for saying such a thing)

Nope, it was me who wasn't clear.  ;)

I shouldn't have used "Protestant Bible" in my first sentence, just "Bible" 

A simple answer is that those "early church fathers" who met in the Councils of Nicea (and other Councils in the 200s and 300s AD) decided that those current 66 books in the Bible were deemed to be "God inspired" and the others were not.
It is my understanding (from the Protestant Christian perspective) that the Biblical Canon is closed, no books to be added or deleted under any circumstance.

As as aside, I have read some of other books that have been incorporated into the Catholic Bible (Deuterocanonical books) and I (scratches head) don't find any reason why are not in the Protestant Bible (Of course, in my church, I'd be called a Heretic...again, for saying such a thing)


Yeah, a bunch of guys in 200ad decide what was "god inspired" and what wasn't and that put a lock on it for then and for ever.  Sounds rather arbitrary to me.  I was trained as a historian, and I gotta tell ya, revision is the bread and gravy of the business, since you can hardly find a topic that someone hasn't written on.  Man, I wish I could get away with declaring my interpretations the be all and end all and last word on the subjects I wrote about, or better yet have other do it for me 

Well, basically, I don't "get" the Bible very much because I wasn't really brought up with anyone in my home reading the Bible. And there's so much crappe said about it these days, about it's being TRUE or NOT TRUE. I think the Bible was probably a good thing for the folks during the various years it was written. I have this picture of early mankind, wandering around the world with this complex brain that they had developed, but not a very complex culture yet, and all these animal instincts coming up, and trying to control them so they could make a society that worked, and beginning to realize that there IS a god and there is a spiritual world. And so religion, I think, helped people along with all that. Training the brain. I don't think people have a very clear idea now about what it was like to be a human a long time ago, even 2,000 years, let alone 10,000 years. They think that those people must have been "like ME" and *I* don't need a Bible. I know what to do.  I do think it's time for a new religion. But as far as my favorite parts is concerned, I like the way the Psalms in the King James version sound. You know, they use to say the 23rd Psalm in public SCHOOLS!! Can you believe it!! 

I'm on page 50.

The end

Judas Iscariot, the disciple and one of the original Twelve Apostles of Jesus Christ. According to all four canonical gospels, he Judas betrayed Jesus to the Sanhedrin in the Garden of Gethsemane by kissing him and addressing him as "rabbi" to reveal his identity in the darkness to the crowd who had come to arrest him.