If so, how long has it been, and what are your struggles like?

Lately my dad has been on my mind alot... he passed away 20 years ago this year, at the age of 49... it was sudden, a heart attack that nobody saw coming at all.

I have always thought of him regularly, but for many years these thoughts stayed at the surface (if that makes any sense) but the last few weeks it almost feels like I'm realizing the finality of it all over again.  I haven't cried but I find myself kind of frenzied to come up with something else to think about.

I know I'm not explaining very well, but I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through this... you probably know how you are just numb at first then it "hits you"...  has it ever hit you a second time way later?

I haven't lost a parent but I lost a sister to suicide this summer.  I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post the terrible news or just send it around to people I feel close to on the board.  But, I'll just announce it here.  My sister Naomi (4/26/1968 -- 8/12/10) committed suicide last month.  She jumped from a high bridge into the Connecticut River.  

She leaves behind a 10-year-old daughter and a grieving ex-husband.  It's striking the family in different ways.  Our mother is completely devastated.  After she got divorced the drugs seem to take over her life.  She was an illustrator, and avid painter, and a graphic artist.  At the time of her death she was working on a Master's degree in psychology.  

The fallout is bleak, sullen, and harsh.  It's like a Bergman film.  She made an attempt at that bridge last year, but she was rescued from that.  This year she called no one and answered no phone calls.  She just went to the railing, witnesses say, she straddled the rail for a moment and then a sudden plunge into the black water in the canyon below.  

Her body was quickly recovered and cleaned up.  It was made viewable.  I declined.  No matter how she looks, I don't want that to be the last memory of my sister.  

If you think you son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father is abusing drugs, intervene.  Find out what's going on.  

It turns out my sister was withdrawing from OxyContin (she was prescribed for a back injury years earlier).  She felt like she wanted to die, she told my mother.  That's when she needed a clinical evaluation RIGHT THERE.  A day later was too late.

I haven't lost a parent but I lost a sister to suicide this summer.  I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post the terrible news or just send it around to people I feel close to on the board.  But, I'll just announce it hear.  My sister Naomi (4/26/1968 -- 8/12/10) committed suicide last month.  She jumped from a high bridge into the Connecticut River.  

She leaves behind a 10-year-old daughter and a grieving ex-husband.  It's striking the family in different ways.  Our mother is completely devastated.  After she got divorced the drugs seem to take over her life.  She was an illustrator, and avid painter, and a graphic artist.  At the time of her death she was working on a Master's degree in psychology.  

The fallout is bleak, sullen, and harsh.  It's like a Bergman film.  She made an attempt at that bridge last year, but she was rescued from that.  This year she called no one and answered no phone calls.  She just went to the railing, witnesses say, she straddled the rail for a moment and then a sudden plunge into the black water in the canyon below.  

Her body was quickly recovered and cleaned up.  It was made viewable.  I declined.  No matter how she looks, I don't want that to be the last memory of my sister.  

If you think you son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father is abusing drugs, intervene.  Find out what's going on.  

It turns out my sister was withdrawing from OxyContin (she was prescribed for a back injury years earlier).  She felt like she wanted to die, she told my mother.  That's when she needed a clinical evaluation RIGHT THERE.  A day later was too late.


Wow... I am so sorry... and at a loss for words.  :\'(

I can't even imagine how difficult that must be on your family...  I know there is nothing I can say that will make it any easier (I'm sure you've heard it all already) but I will say that it does get easier over time... and we are all here if there's anything we can do...

And your advice is so true.  I think too often people threaten and talk about wanting to die as pleas for attention... and even the most honorable of people have become somewhat desensitized to it... but it needs to be taken seriously.  It's better to take it seriously and find out it was a plea for attention, than the tragic alternative.

Just recently My father lost his Uncle Tommy who was 98 years old,must have been a heart attack.

And this June made it 15 years since my Brother's passing. :\'(

I haven't lost a parent but I lost a sister to suicide this summer.  I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post the terrible news or just send it around to people I feel close to on the board.  But, I'll just announce it hear.  My sister Naomi (4/26/1968 -- 8/12/10) committed suicide last month.  She jumped from a high bridge into the Connecticut River. 

She leaves behind a 10-year-old daughter and a grieving ex-husband.  It's striking the family in different ways.  Our mother is completely devastated.  After she got divorced the drugs seem to take over her life.  She was an illustrator, and avid painter, and a graphic artist.  At the time of her death she was working on a Master's degree in psychology. 

The fallout is bleak, sullen, and harsh.  It's like a Bergman film.  She made an attempt at that bridge last year, but she was rescued from that.  This year she called no one and answered no phone calls.  She just went to the railing, witnesses say, she straddled the rail for a moment and then a sudden plunge into the black water in the canyon below. 

Her body was quickly recovered and cleaned up.  It was made viewable.  I declined.  No matter how she looks, I don't want that to be the last memory of my sister. 

If you think you son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father is abusing drugs, intervene.  Find out what's going on. 

It turns out my sister was withdrawing from OxyContin (she was prescribed for a back injury years earlier).  She felt like she wanted to die, she told my mother.  That's when she needed a clinical evaluation RIGHT THERE.  A day later was too late.



Oh Max, I am so sorry. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  I'm sure it is very hard for you & your family.



Cat

I'm sure most of you know that I lost one of my sisters about 2 years ago.

  http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=34968.0

It hit me REALLY hard-harder than I really thought it would considering I wasn't very close to her. I think about her a lot now-more than I did when she was alive. Feeling guilty because I should have called her more, etc. etc. Even after close to 2 years, it sort of seems like a dream-well a nightmare. It just seems like our family portrait has an empty spot it in now.


Another thing that a lot of people here are not aware of is the fact that my first marriage ended when my husband passed away. He was a verbally abusive alcoholic who literally drank himself to death. (Cause of death: Fatal intoxication.) It is true that I had filed for divorce but it never happened so technically I was a widow at the ripe old age of 25. I had finally found the strength to leave him when he died. I think my dad told me not to feel guilty. I didn't. In fact, I felt a sense of relief. I know in my heart that I did everything I possibly could for him and it just wasn't enough. Yeah, it was hard.  At the time, I was fighting a lot of demons. But, I found it was easier to just let people think I was divorced rather than widowed. Sometimes I would tell people that I wasn't divorced and they would say, "So, you are still married?" I said, "No, I'm not still married." Then they would say, "So, you are divorced." They couldn't fathom that there was a 3rd option. I still have the scars from that marriage but that is a chapter that is truly closed and I never have to worry about bumping into him somewhere.   



Cat

Wow, Cat... I didn't know about either of those... I'm really sorry for your loss as well... :\'(


And my apologies to both you and Max if I opened a fresh can of worms... :-\\

Cat, Max, I can't imagine.  Everyones life has been touched.  My closest oldest friend committed suicide over ten years ago and it seems like yesterday.  The hardest part was coming to the realization that there really wasn't anything I could do about it.

First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your sister's death, Maxwell Smart. She had so much going for her too.

Like you Andrea, my nan and grandad on my dad's side are always on my mind. I don't think it goes away but, the way I see it, I wouldn't want it to. I think about the positive impact they both have had on my life.

On the other side of the coin, I've understood that, as cruel as this sounds, apathy towards a relative's death is as valid as grief.

I'm afraid of losing my only grandmother who's on my Mother's side,she's smart but has some dementia and she's 92 or 93. :-\\

I haven't lost a parent but I lost a sister to suicide this summer.  I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post the terrible news or just send it around to people I feel close to on the board.  But, I'll just announce it hear.  My sister Naomi (4/26/1968 -- 8/12/10) committed suicide last month.  She jumped from a high bridge into the Connecticut River. 

She leaves behind a 10-year-old daughter and a grieving ex-husband.  It's striking the family in different ways.  Our mother is completely devastated.  After she got divorced the drugs seem to take over her life.  She was an illustrator, and avid painter, and a graphic artist.  At the time of her death she was working on a Master's degree in psychology. 

The fallout is bleak, sullen, and harsh.  It's like a Bergman film.  She made an attempt at that bridge last year, but she was rescued from that.  This year she called no one and answered no phone calls.  She just went to the railing, witnesses say, she straddled the rail for a moment and then a sudden plunge into the black water in the canyon below. 

Her body was quickly recovered and cleaned up.  It was made viewable.  I declined.  No matter how she looks, I don't want that to be the last memory of my sister. 

If you think you son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father is abusing drugs, intervene.  Find out what's going on. 

It turns out my sister was withdrawing from OxyContin (she was prescribed for a back injury years earlier).  She felt like she wanted to die, she told my mother.  That's when she needed a clinical evaluation RIGHT THERE.  A day later was too late.


Max...I don't normally send hugs to people (especially guys)...but I send them to you right now.  You have mentioned previously that your family is dysfunctional...but be that as it may, this cannot be an easy time for you all. I sincerely hope that the burden eases soon.

I lost my dad about 10 years ago. He wasn't a nice person, had no social skills, got drunk alot, abused my mother and I. He was an alcoholic. I have not shed one nanotear in 10 years.

I lost my dad about 10 years ago. He wasn't a nice person, had no social skills, got drunk alot, abused my mother and I. He was an alcoholic. I have not shed one nanotear in 10 years.


I don't blame you, Frank. I have discussed this before with Maxwell Smart. There is this idea that people think you have to suddenly care about someone just because they are dead. My sister said to me just after my grandad on my mum's side died; "yeah but he was still your grandad and that is all that counts" and I don't take sanctimonious moralising very well. If people weren't nice in life, why should I feel any different towards them in death?

I haven't lost a parent but I lost a sister to suicide this summer.  I wasn't sure whether I wanted to post the terrible news or just send it around to people I feel close to on the board.  But, I'll just announce it hear.  My sister Naomi (4/26/1968 -- 8/12/10) committed suicide last month.  She jumped from a high bridge into the Connecticut River.  

She leaves behind a 10-year-old daughter and a grieving ex-husband.  It's striking the family in different ways.  Our mother is completely devastated.  After she got divorced the drugs seem to take over her life.  She was an illustrator, and avid painter, and a graphic artist.  At the time of her death she was working on a Master's degree in psychology.  

The fallout is bleak, sullen, and harsh.  It's like a Bergman film.  She made an attempt at that bridge last year, but she was rescued from that.  This year she called no one and answered no phone calls.  She just went to the railing, witnesses say, she straddled the rail for a moment and then a sudden plunge into the black water in the canyon below.  

Her body was quickly recovered and cleaned up.  It was made viewable.  I declined.  No matter how she looks, I don't want that to be the last memory of my sister.  

If you think you son or daughter, brother or sister, mother or father is abusing drugs, intervene.  Find out what's going on.  

It turns out my sister was withdrawing from OxyContin (she was prescribed for a back injury years earlier).  She felt like she wanted to die, she told my mother.  That's when she needed a clinical evaluation RIGHT THERE.  A day later was too late.

Max, feel bad for ya. And you have been putting on a brave face while continuing to post.  Difficult time for your family...

Wow, Max.  I am so sorry for your loss.  {{hugs}}

Cat, I am sorry your first marriage was such a hell.  I am happy you found a man who will treat you right.

My dad passed in Jan of 2007.  I still have my moments missing him.  There is a man in my neighborhood that looks a lot like him.  I only see him at the store and I hate it every time.  The first time I saw him (about 6 months after dad died) I almost gave him a hard time for not saying hi when I was in line behind him...then I remembered that my dad was gone.  I went home and cried.  It gets easier but it still hurts from time to time.

Max I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. like gibbo, big hugs man.

I havent lost a parent or sibling, but on Aug 26th, my friend Jacqueline ended her long battle with cancer, and her broken heart.  I was gutted when I heard the news. Her lifelong friend Mia was most hurt, having been tasked with passing out Jax's final notes to her friends. The stress on her was too much, and on September 9th, she sent me what looked like a final goodbye. Everything told me it was wrong, I immediately got in contact with her closest friends. They finally found her on the 10th, in the hospital, having OD'd and... was beaten beyond recognition.  :\'( :\'( She didnt make it thru the night, and died Saturday.  :\'(

I have cried more in the past two weeks than in my entire life, lost almost 20 pounds from not eating...  Seeing two bright, beautiful, and kind-beyond-words friends end their lives has hurt beyond words, left so many what-ifs. I had talked to Jax on Skype the day before she died. I knew she was upset, just not how severely. She was down about losing her hair and the scars on her body. I told her that a few less hairs or more scars didnt change the fact that she was beautiful inside and out. Those were pretty much the last words I ever spoke to her. I didnt get to say goodbye to Mia.  :\'(

If someone you know is in trouble or depressed, please take the time to listen to them, give them a should to lean on. and get them help. Dealing with the aftermath of a suicide is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, just absolutely devastating.

Be good to each other, and to yourselves. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I had been good to them before they left this world. If you love your relatives and friends, tell them. Tell them how special they are to you, for there will come a time when you cant.

Ant

^ man

I lost my dad about 10 years ago. He wasn't a nice person, had no social skills, got drunk alot, abused my mother and I. He was an alcoholic. I have not shed one nanotear in 10 years.


Wow,that's terrible.  :(

Max I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. like gibbo, big hugs man.

I havent lost a parent or sibling, but on Aug 26th, my friend Jacqueline ended her long battle with cancer, and her broken heart.  I was gutted when I heard the news. Her lifelong friend Mia was most hurt, having been tasked with passing out Jax's final notes to her friends. The stress on her was too much, and on September 9th, she sent me what looked like a final goodbye. Everything told me it was wrong, I immediately got in contact with her closest friends. They finally found her on the 10th, in the hospital, having OD'd and... was beaten beyond recognition.  :\'( :\'( She didnt make it thru the night, and died Saturday.  :\'(

I have cried more in the past two weeks than in my entire life, lost almost 20 pounds from not eating...  Seeing two bright, beautiful, and kind-beyond-words friends end their lives has hurt beyond words, left so many what-ifs. I had talked to Jax on Skype the day before she died. I knew she was upset, just not how severely. She was down about losing her hair and the scars on her body. I told her that a few less hairs or more scars didnt change the fact that she was beautiful inside and out. Those were pretty much the last words I ever spoke to her. I didnt get to say goodbye to Mia.  :\'(

If someone you know is in trouble or depressed, please take the time to listen to them, give them a should to lean on. and get them help. Dealing with the aftermath of a suicide is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, just absolutely devastating.

Be good to each other, and to yourselves. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I had been good to them before they left this world. If you love your relatives and friends, tell them. Tell them how special they are to you, for there will come a time when you cant.

Ant





:\'( :\'( :\'(

My mom died a few years ago, and I still miss her.  It was expected since she had several stokes, each one taking a bit more of her.  I'm now preparing to lose my dad, who is 90 and in declining health.

To those who have posted, I'm very sorry for your losses.  Words are so inadequate.

Max I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. like gibbo, big hugs man.

I havent lost a parent or sibling, but on Aug 26th, my friend Jacqueline ended her long battle with cancer, and her broken heart.  I was gutted when I heard the news. Her lifelong friend Mia was most hurt, having been tasked with passing out Jax's final notes to her friends. The stress on her was too much, and on September 9th, she sent me what looked like a final goodbye. Everything told me it was wrong, I immediately got in contact with her closest friends. They finally found her on the 10th, in the hospital, having OD'd and... was beaten beyond recognition.  :\'( :\'( She didnt make it thru the night, and died Saturday.  :\'(

I have cried more in the past two weeks than in my entire life, lost almost 20 pounds from not eating...  Seeing two bright, beautiful, and kind-beyond-words friends end their lives has hurt beyond words, left so many what-ifs. I had talked to Jax on Skype the day before she died. I knew she was upset, just not how severely. She was down about losing her hair and the scars on her body. I told her that a few less hairs or more scars didnt change the fact that she was beautiful inside and out. Those were pretty much the last words I ever spoke to her. I didnt get to say goodbye to Mia.  :\'(

If someone you know is in trouble or depressed, please take the time to listen to them, give them a should to lean on. and get them help. Dealing with the aftermath of a suicide is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, just absolutely devastating.

Be good to each other, and to yourselves. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I had been good to them before they left this world. If you love your relatives and friends, tell them. Tell them how special they are to you, for there will come a time when you cant.

Ant




I'm really sorry for your loss as well... :\'(

My heart goes out to all of you that have posted about your losses. {{{hugs}}}

I didn't even mention my grandmother. I can't say that losing her was easy, but it was easier than losing my sister. My grandmother was 99 years young-still as sharp as a tack. She lived a long & healthy life (until the last 2 weeks of it-she suffered a stroke & heart attack at the same time). I still miss her a lot but she didn't die tragically or before her time.




Cat

Max I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. like gibbo, big hugs man.

I havent lost a parent or sibling, but on Aug 26th, my friend Jacqueline ended her long battle with cancer, and her broken heart.  I was gutted when I heard the news. Her lifelong friend Mia was most hurt, having been tasked with passing out Jax's final notes to her friends. The stress on her was too much, and on September 9th, she sent me what looked like a final goodbye. Everything told me it was wrong, I immediately got in contact with her closest friends. They finally found her on the 10th, in the hospital, having OD'd and... was beaten beyond recognition.  :\'( :\'( She didnt make it thru the night, and died Saturday.  :\'(

I have cried more in the past two weeks than in my entire life, lost almost 20 pounds from not eating...  Seeing two bright, beautiful, and kind-beyond-words friends end their lives has hurt beyond words, left so many what-ifs. I had talked to Jax on Skype the day before she died. I knew she was upset, just not how severely. She was down about losing her hair and the scars on her body. I told her that a few less hairs or more scars didnt change the fact that she was beautiful inside and out. Those were pretty much the last words I ever spoke to her. I didnt get to say goodbye to Mia.  :\'(

If someone you know is in trouble or depressed, please take the time to listen to them, give them a should to lean on. and get them help. Dealing with the aftermath of a suicide is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, just absolutely devastating.

Be good to each other, and to yourselves. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I had been good to them before they left this world. If you love your relatives and friends, tell them. Tell them how special they are to you, for there will come a time when you cant.

Ant





I'm so sorry.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

My heart goes out to everyone on this thread too.  I don't think it ever really gets easier.  Maybe a little bit.  But not really.   

As most of you know, my mom died 5 years ago, but what most of you don't know is that she died of cirrhosis of the liver.  She was an alcoholic.  I hate to admit that, because I don't like people to think of her that way.  She was an incredible person and I miss her every day of my life.  I've especially missed her lately - I've never needed her more. 

I'm so glad that we all have each other. 

My heart goes out to everyone on this thread too.  I don't think it ever really gets easier.  Maybe a little bit.  But not really.   

As most of you know, my mom died 5 years ago, but what most of you don't know is that she died of cirrhosis of the liver.  She was an alcoholic.  I hate to admit that, because I don't like people to think of her that way.  She was an incredible person and I miss her every day of my life.  I've especially missed her lately - I've never needed her more. 

I'm so glad that we all have each other. 


It really does get easier, Ash... hang in there... it just takes some people more time than others.  It never completely goes away though.  When you normally think of your mom (or listen to music that she loved) and smile because you're having a good memory, as opposed to having your eyes well up because you miss her, you've gotten there.    Though I'm now finding it can come back and hit you again down the road, it's not nearly to the degree of when it first happened.

I'm really sorry for your loss... :\'(

I think this is a great thread, Andrea. Not because of the subject matter-which everyone who has posted have/is having to deal with loss, but it is a chance for ALL of us to support one another. That's what so wonderful about this board. We are here for one another when life sucks & when it is good, too. I thought about putting this thread up on the Front Page but didn't because I know a lot of people put a lot of personal stuff here.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs to all)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

My Cousin Steven passed away a few years ago but he didn't take care of himself,overweight,didn't care about the dentist and teeth or health sometimes.  :\'(

My Cousin Steven passed away a few years ago but he didn't take care of himself,overweight,didn't care about the dentist and teeth or health sometimes.  :\'(

Sounds very much like my maternal uncle, who contracted hepatitis C from a blood transfusion after a car accident in 1978 and refused to do anything about it. He never took care of himself; just loaded up on booze until it damaged his liver, and passed away in 1999.

To all of those who've posted, I am truly sorry for your losses. 

My mother passed away 5 years ago.  It was difficult at first but it has gotten much easier.  Of course I still miss her but I'm not costantly thinking about her.

Sounds very much like my maternal uncle, who contracted hepatitis C from a blood transfusion after a car accident in 1978 and refused to do anything about it. He never took care of himself; just loaded up on booze until it damaged his liver, and passed away in 1999.


sorry to hear about that.

I lost my uncle, but I didn't know him that well.

Page 1


Max,  I'm truly sorry for your loss.


Cat, well.... you already know....  but :-* anyway!


Frank


I lost my dad about 10 years ago. He wasn't a nice person, had no social skills, got drunk alot, abused my mother and I. He was an alcoholic. I have not shed one nanotear in 10 years.




Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 24 hours.   so..... O0

Max I am so sorry about the loss of your sister. like gibbo, big hugs man.

I havent lost a parent or sibling, but on Aug 26th, my friend Jacqueline ended her long battle with cancer, and her broken heart.  I was gutted when I heard the news. Her lifelong friend Mia was most hurt, having been tasked with passing out Jax's final notes to her friends. The stress on her was too much, and on September 9th, she sent me what looked like a final goodbye. Everything told me it was wrong, I immediately got in contact with her closest friends. They finally found her on the 10th, in the hospital, having OD'd and... was beaten beyond recognition.  :\'( :\'( She didnt make it thru the night, and died Saturday.  :\'(

I have cried more in the past two weeks than in my entire life, lost almost 20 pounds from not eating...  Seeing two bright, beautiful, and kind-beyond-words friends end their lives has hurt beyond words, left so many what-ifs. I had talked to Jax on Skype the day before she died. I knew she was upset, just not how severely. She was down about losing her hair and the scars on her body. I told her that a few less hairs or more scars didnt change the fact that she was beautiful inside and out. Those were pretty much the last words I ever spoke to her. I didnt get to say goodbye to Mia.  :\'(

If someone you know is in trouble or depressed, please take the time to listen to them, give them a should to lean on. and get them help. Dealing with the aftermath of a suicide is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done, just absolutely devastating.

Be good to each other, and to yourselves. The only thing that has kept me going is knowing that I had been good to them before they left this world. If you love your relatives and friends, tell them. Tell them how special they are to you, for there will come a time when you cant.

Ant






Ant



I hear ya. I've lost all four of my grandparents and a couple of cousins but the loss I felt the deepest was the lost of my friend to cervical cancer.  She was such a bright spot in my life- the first person I called whenever anything good or bad happened to me...yes I called her. And I called her before I called my mother. I never had a sibling but I often thought that she was like a sister to me (or what I imagined having a  sister to be like).

She died on Oct. 1st 2003. The first time I watched Willy Wonka after Patti passed I cried because I realized the golden ticket was dated the first day of October and I thought about Patti getting her golden ticket.  :\'(



Ash, Carlos, Dag, Andrea, Cat, Howard, Carol and everyone else I've missed I am sorry about your losses as well....

Max, Cat, Ant and all of you others who are healing from these events, I am soo terribly sorry for your loss and hope the pain eases as you heal.  I know it is hard!

All of my grandparents are gone, and I lost my father when I was 14 (no worries, he lost me and my mother years before that) to a heart attack.  The only problem that I had dealing with that was (A) I knew my dad was gone as soon as the phone rang (and I hadn't seen him for 7 years) (B) I knew that nothing I did would ever make him proud, and he would never be at one of my events, graduation, college grad, or wedding.  I would never be able to prove myself...

My youngest brother (10 years older than I) was involved in a motorcycle incident and was killed 19 years ago.  I was dropped off at my dorm for the start of college one day and the next day my mother and sister were back at my dorm when I walked in (odd)...  Then I was told...  I still deal with this, and it is still hard.  It is not at constant but often enough to make a heart ache.  Everytime I smell peanut butter (I hate the stuff, but he used to eat a peanut butter sandwich with every meal), when I hear a Harley, when I smell leather, Christmas, Thanksgiving (Andy never missed a meal), the word Atheist, anytime Conan or Planet of the Apes is playing (GOD how I hated these movies)...  But I make it through.

Always tell who ever is special to you, that indeed they are!  Because you may never get the chance again...

Haven't lost parents yet, but I've come close.  3 outa 4 grandparents gone, but I got to say goodbye to two of 'em, and I really got to know one of 'em.  Lost a close friend to a sleeping driver, though that probably doesn't count as family.

The luckiest thing for me is that I've only got good memories of my grandparents and parents.  So discount everything I say here, because I've had it pretty damn soft.

But the second-luckiest thing that's happened to me is that one of my grandparents got to see me hit adulthood.  High point of any vacation home is seeing her.  Sharp as the proverbial tack in her mid-90s.  We both know that every vacation's probably my last, and over the past few years we've even cracked jokes about it.  So every year or so, we just hang out and catch up on stuff.  I've learned things about my family from her that my parents haven't told me.

Mortality sucks, but never mind my parents (who had their own moments of awesomeness that I'm going to have to eke out of them), when my last grandparent goes, I can raise a toast knowing that my grandparents were awesome.

It's small comfort in this thread, but you remember what good times you had and you move on.  Or you find something to respect in a fallen adversary, toast that.  Either way, raise a glass and call it done.

My Father's Father who was supposed to be my Great Grandfather Harry Starr died a year before I was born (1973).

{{{{hugs}}}} to all who shared their stories on this thread!
:\'(

I keep remembering the last time I saw Naomi.  She was picking up her daughter at my other sister's house.  I was doing some yard work for our sister (Ursula) and we made some small talk in the driveway.  She looked gaunt.  Her cheeks were sunken.  She didn't look like a disheveled drug addict you see on TV.  I wouldn't have known anything was wrong if I hadn't known her my whole life.  Nao used to be a husky gal.  Last time I saw her she couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds (at 5' 6"), yet she still had a radiant smile and was dressed and groomed beautifully as was her style.  I said, "Listen, don't be a stranger!"
"Don't YOU be a stranger," she replied, "You haven't seen my new apartment.  Come over some night and we'll do pizza and a movie!"
"Sounds like fun, I'll give you a call."
Then my niece got in her car and they drove off.
I didn't know I'd never see her again.
http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/15/tearyeyed.gif

When I did get to see her new apartment I was helping my mother pack up Naomi's belongings.

I keep remembering the last time I saw Naomi.




That was the hardest part for me after my dad passed too... the scenes that kept replaying over and over in my head... and no matter what I would be doing or thinking about, somehow my thoughts always would lead back to him.   At the time, I tried to keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about it (I don't like to let myself be emotional about things), but I realized later that it wasn't until I let myself think about it (deal with it) that it got easier.    Sort of like when you listen to a special song over and over, you reach a point where it's playing and you don't even notice because you've heard it so much... then your need to listen to it decreases...

To be honest, it was about 2 years before I could think about him without feeling any pain.... and probably another year after that before I could think of him and have happy thoughts.

I really feel for her daughter too... :\'(   That has got to be a very difficult thing to try to explain to a ten year old.  I really wish there were something I could say or do that would be helpful, but like DC said, words are so inadequate.

Next week,My Grandfather Carl would have passed away 21 years ago.

I'm so sorry Max, Cat, Ant, Ash, Andrea, Q, and really everyone that posted (and to those that haven't posted due to want of privacy...)
If you have even one good memory of someone, then that is how I prefer to remember someone.

I've had a few passings that were difficult in my life, My grandma (my last living one) last February was hard to deal with.  She was elderly (almost 90) and had been in such poor health the past few years, it was expected (Oddly enough I kept buying black dresses, for the past several years, when I'd find one that fit, just for the occasion that I'd have something appropriate to wear for her funeral.  I guess that was my way of trying to prepare myself.)  I have a very bad hearing problem, so I wasn't able to really understand much of what she said for awhile before she passed.  I really wish I could have asked her so many things:  What she remember about her family, her life growing up (and working HARD) on a farm... lots of things.  I guess life can be full of regrets if we dwell on what's been lost rather then what we've got now...

I've had 2 aunts and 3 uncles pass on, a couple I didn't make it home for their funerals and I still feel guilty, years later.  The one uncle, was dying from pancreatic cancer and he was so gaunt, and looked almost skeletal.  I was youngish and couldn't make myself go in and talk to him while he was alive... I wish I could have that moment back now.

I had a close co-worker/friend die a few years ago.  She was just so awesome.  A world traveler and so nice to me and she was one of the few people that never made me feel foolish for anything... anyways, I'm babbling...

My thoughts and hugs go out to those of you that are hurting still (no matter if it's a recent loss (or not) nor if it's a constant ache or just something little reminds you...)  May you find peace in the remembrance and in the love of all of us here.

My mom died a few years ago, and I still miss her.  It was expected since she had several stokes, each one taking a bit more of her.  I'm now preparing to lose my dad, who is 90 and in declining health.

To those who have posted, I'm very sorry for your losses.  Words are so inadequate.


As I said, words are so inadequate, but here I am in Puerto Rico seeing my dad, frail, in danger of falling at any minute, and needing constant "companionship" and I have to think of how I remember him as I was growing up.  One of my daughters really wants to get here this winter because she thinks it will be her last time to be with "Popo", and she is probably right.  At least he is still mentally "with it".  Right now he is reading a book.  But I think that my daughter is probably right, and I know I will miss dad as much as I still miss Mom.  I know I didn't say much about her, but she was terrific, Rosie the Riveter during WWII, and the greatest mom you could ask for.  I had to grieve while she was still alive because the strokes took more and more of her contact with reality each time.  But what was amazing was that, although she lived in the past, present and the future of her imagination at the same time -which made conversations rather interesting- she never lost touch with family. 

Dad was also a great dad.  But enough of this for now.

Again.  words are inadequate, at least to me, but I do send my love and hugs to all of you suffering loss. 

(((((hugs))))) Carlos to you, Cat, your daughter, sister and well the whole family. I know this pain too well...

A cousin of mine named Steven Keats,he was an actor,committed suicide on May 8th,1994,a year before my brother passed away. :\'(

A cousin of mine named Steven Keats,he was an actor,committed suicide on May 8th,1994,a year before my brother passed away. :\'(


I'm sorry to hear that, Howard.  Did he have any kids?  :(

I'm sorry to hear that, Howard.  Did he have any kids?  :(


Mr. Keats, the son of Jewish emigrants from Denmark, was a popular and prolific actor of the 1970s. He grew up in Canarsie, Brooklyn, New York, graduated from the New York School for the Performing Arts (now Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts). After serving a tour of duty in Vietnam with the Air Force from 1965-1966, Keats attended the prestigious Yale School of Drama in 1969 and 1970.

Keats debuted on Broadway in the second cast of Oh! Calcutta! and appeared in over 80 films and TV shows. He was nominated for an Emmy in 1977 for his role as the ruthless, Great Depression-era entrepreneur Jay Blackman, who clawed his way to the top of the "rag trade,' or clothing business, in the formidable mini-series Seventh Avenue. He also portrayed Thomas Edison on the brink of inventing the electric light bulb in the science fiction TV series, Voyagers!.

Another notable role was Keats' memorable performance in the celebrated movie Hester Street (adapted from author Abraham Cahan's original Yiddish story "Yekl.") Set on New York City's Lower East Side of the 1890s, Keats played Jake Putkovsky (late of Russia), an assimilated "Amerikaner," complete with derby hat and an impressive handlebar moustache. Jake is less than favorably disposed toward his recently-emigrated wife, the meekly-submissive Gitl (who still clings to the old ways), because she is a constant reminder of his own "greenhorn" (or newcomer) status which he is trying desperately to forget.

At the end of his career, Keats was playing the part of Ed McClain on the soap opera Another World. On May 8, 1994, he was found dead in his apartment in Manhattan; his death was ruled a suicide.

This is his small biography from Wiki^

Mr. Keats, the son of Jewish emigrants from Denmark, was a popular and prolific actor of the 1970s. He grew up in Canarsie, Brooklyn, New York, graduated from the New York School for the Performing Arts (now Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts). After serving a tour of duty in Vietnam with the Air Force from 1965-1966, Keats attended the prestigious Yale School of Drama in 1969 and 1970.

Keats debuted on Broadway in the second cast of Oh! Calcutta! and appeared in over 80 films and TV shows. He was nominated for an Emmy in 1977 for his role as the ruthless, Great Depression-era entrepreneur Jay Blackman, who clawed his way to the top of the "rag trade,' or clothing business, in the formidable mini-series Seventh Avenue. He also portrayed Thomas Edison on the brink of inventing the electric light bulb in the science fiction TV series, Voyagers!.

Another notable role was Keats' memorable performance in the celebrated movie Hester Street (adapted from author Abraham Cahan's original Yiddish story "Yekl.") Set on New York City's Lower East Side of the 1890s, Keats played Jake Putkovsky (late of Russia), an assimilated "Amerikaner," complete with derby hat and an impressive handlebar moustache. Jake is less than favorably disposed toward his recently-emigrated wife, the meekly-submissive Gitl (who still clings to the old ways), because she is a constant reminder of his own "greenhorn" (or newcomer) status which he is trying desperately to forget.

At the end of his career, Keats was playing the part of Ed McClain on the soap opera Another World. On May 8, 1994, he was found dead in his apartment in Manhattan; his death was ruled a suicide.

This is his small biography from Wiki^


Wow, I have seen Hester Street... it was a good movie... I had no idea he was your cousin!!  I'm sorry for your loss...

All four of my Grandparents died when I was very young. I was robbed of Grandparental spoils and memories.

My Mother died two years ago (unexpected) and my Father died this past July (expected but not any easier.)
There is a strange story attached to my fathers death that still bothers me a little. I was going to start a thread
about it but this seems a better place to tell the story, so here it is.

I HEARD THE BANSHEE'S WAIL! 
(for those who may not know: A Banshee is a female spirit in Gaelic folklore believed to presage, by wailing, a death in a family.)

My father was a dialysis patient for about 15 years and seven years ago he suffered a stroke that took away his mental capacity.
He was also in an advanced state of dementia and had other health issues, he was surviving not living. Since my mother's death
my wife and I moved into their house to care for my father. His fistula used for dialysis became infected and in danger of rupturing.
The night before we were to go to the doctor, while I was sleeping, I was awakened by what sounded like a small girl yelling. I
looked out the window and figured I dreamt the whole episode. The next day the doctor took one look at my dad's fistula and
immediatly sent him to the hospital. They determined, because of my dad's health issues, there was nothing they could really do.
so Hospice was called in and he was sent home to die comfortably. In early morning on July 12, again I was awakened, but this
time from a blood curdling scream. When I gathered my thoughts I went to check on my dad but he was gone. His body was
still feverish so I know he had died just prior to me checking on him. I know the decision for Hospice was the correct one but
it was still very hard to watch.

Some of you know I never believed in the paranormal and I still don't but the screams were rather eerie and the result a strange
coincidence. My mother and her father however believed the Banshee folklore to be true and stranger yet, her maiden name is
one of the names of families the Banshees are supposed follow.

((((hugs)))) loki for your losses

So sorry for your loss, loki. {{hugs}}

All four of my Grandparents died when I was very young. I was robbed of Grandparental spoils and memories.

My Mother died two years ago (unexpected) and my Father died this past July (expected but not any easier.)
There is a strange story attached to my fathers death that still bothers me a little. I was going to start a thread
about it but this seems a better place to tell the story, so here it is.

I HEARD THE BANSHEE'S WAIL! 
(for those who may not know: A Banshee is a female spirit in Gaelic folklore believed to presage, by wailing, a death in a family.)

My father was a dialysis patient for about 15 years and seven years ago he suffered a stroke that took away his mental capacity.
He was also in an advanced state of dementia and had other health issues, he was surviving not living. Since my mother's death
my wife and I moved into their house to care for my father. His fistula used for dialysis became infected and in danger of rupturing.
The night before we were to go to the doctor, while I was sleeping, I was awakened by what sounded like a small girl yelling. I
looked out the window and figured I dreamt the whole episode. The next day the doctor took one look at my dad's fistula and
immediatly sent him to the hospital. They determined, because of my dad's health issues, there was nothing they could really do.
so Hospice was called in and he was sent home to die comfortably. In early morning on July 12, again I was awakened, but this
time from a blood curdling scream. When I gathered my thoughts I went to check on my dad but he was gone. His body was
still feverish so I know he had died just prior to me checking on him. I know the decision for Hospice was the correct one but
it was still very hard to watch.

Some of you know I never believed in the paranormal and I still don't but the screams were rather eerie and the result a strange
coincidence. My mother and her father however believed the Banshee folklore to be true and stranger yet, her maiden name is
one of the names of families the Banshees are supposed follow.





(((Hugs)))) Loki...

Wow, I have seen Hester Street... it was a good movie... I had no idea he was your cousin!!  I'm sorry for your loss...


I didn't get a chance to know him,unfortunately and that goes for my Great Grandfather Harry who died in 1973.

All four of my Grandparents died when I was very young. I was robbed of Grandparental spoils and memories.

My Mother died two years ago (unexpected) and my Father died this past July (expected but not any easier.)
There is a strange story attached to my fathers death that still bothers me a little. I was going to start a thread
about it but this seems a better place to tell the story, so here it is.

I HEARD THE BANSHEE'S WAIL! 
(for those who may not know: A Banshee is a female spirit in Gaelic folklore believed to presage, by wailing, a death in a family.)

My father was a dialysis patient for about 15 years and seven years ago he suffered a stroke that took away his mental capacity.
He was also in an advanced state of dementia and had other health issues, he was surviving not living. Since my mother's death
my wife and I moved into their house to care for my father. His fistula used for dialysis became infected and in danger of rupturing.
The night before we were to go to the doctor, while I was sleeping, I was awakened by what sounded like a small girl yelling. I
looked out the window and figured I dreamt the whole episode. The next day the doctor took one look at my dad's fistula and
immediatly sent him to the hospital. They determined, because of my dad's health issues, there was nothing they could really do.
so Hospice was called in and he was sent home to die comfortably. In early morning on July 12, again I was awakened, but this
time from a blood curdling scream. When I gathered my thoughts I went to check on my dad but he was gone. His body was
still feverish so I know he had died just prior to me checking on him. I know the decision for Hospice was the correct one but
it was still very hard to watch.

Some of you know I never believed in the paranormal and I still don't but the screams were rather eerie and the result a strange
coincidence. My mother and her father however believed the Banshee folklore to be true and stranger yet, her maiden name is
one of the names of families the Banshees are supposed follow.







I'm sorry to hear about your losses.... the two happening within a couple years of each other must have been extremely difficult. :(  *hugs*

I also send my love and hugs to all of you.  Carlos, I am so touched by your words about your parents.  I'm glad you are able to spend time with your dad right now.

Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.  I have to say that your story gave me goose bumps!  Wow...that's just... :o :\'(

So sorry for your losses Kevin

All four of my Grandparents died when I was very young. I was robbed of Grandparental spoils and memories.

My Mother died two years ago (unexpected) and my Father died this past July (expected but not any easier.)
There is a strange story attached to my fathers death that still bothers me a little. I was going to start a thread
about it but this seems a better place to tell the story, so here it is.

I HEARD THE BANSHEE'S WAIL! 
(for those who may not know: A Banshee is a female spirit in Gaelic folklore believed to presage, by wailing, a death in a family.)

My father was a dialysis patient for about 15 years and seven years ago he suffered a stroke that took away his mental capacity.
He was also in an advanced state of dementia and had other health issues, he was surviving not living. Since my mother's death
my wife and I moved into their house to care for my father. His fistula used for dialysis became infected and in danger of rupturing.
The night before we were to go to the doctor, while I was sleeping, I was awakened by what sounded like a small girl yelling. I
looked out the window and figured I dreamt the whole episode. The next day the doctor took one look at my dad's fistula and
immediatly sent him to the hospital. They determined, because of my dad's health issues, there was nothing they could really do.
so Hospice was called in and he was sent home to die comfortably. In early morning on July 12, again I was awakened, but this
time from a blood curdling scream. When I gathered my thoughts I went to check on my dad but he was gone. His body was
still feverish so I know he had died just prior to me checking on him. I know the decision for Hospice was the correct one but
it was still very hard to watch.

Some of you know I never believed in the paranormal and I still don't but the screams were rather eerie and the result a strange
coincidence. My mother and her father however believed the Banshee folklore to be true and stranger yet, her maiden name is
one of the names of families the Banshees are supposed follow.








(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

Thank you all for your kind words and hugs it means a lot to me and my family.


Kevin, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad.  I have to say that your story gave me goose bumps!  Wow...that's just... :o :\'(


The story has other eerie factions to it that I left out for fear of sounding like a fruit loop.

To all who have posted, please accept my apologies for my ignorance. I was so caught up in my own story I failed to offer my
Condolences for those of you who suffered your own losses. As Carlos has stated, words are inadequate but know I feel for you
and you are all in my thoughts.

I might have mention this a few times but I do want to share words of wisdom from my grandmother. She once told me that key to longevity is how we deal with loss. She was so right. But, what she didn't say that the key to dealing with loss has to do with your support network. I feel that all of us have a wonderful support network in each other. I want to thank each and every one of you for making dealing with loss a little easier.


(((((((((((((((((((hugs to all)))))))))))))))))))



Cat

The story has other eerie factions to it that I left out for fear of sounding like a fruit loop.






I kind of had something similar... my dad passed away on Father's Day.  That day I got home from work and tried to call him to wish him a Happy Father's Day... his phone kept ringing, which I thought was strange because he always turned the answering machine on when he left and turned it off when he got home.  I got a really eerie feeling but told myself I was being silly.

It turned out that my dad had gone to a comedy club with some friends (including his best friend he'd known since childhood), he was laughing and having a good time, but then abruptly left, saying he wasn't feeling well.  The next morning his friend tried to call him and got the same eerie feeling when the phone just rang.  He did NOT tell himself he was being silly, he rushed over there and got no answer at the door.  He busted the lock and went in and found him.

When MY phone rang I also got an eerie feeling.  My aunt answered the phone and told me "It's your mom, she sounds like she's been crying."  I knew at that moment.

I kind of had something similar... my dad passed away on Father's Day.  That day I got home from work and tried to call him to wish him a Happy Father's Day... his phone kept ringing, which I thought was strange because he always turned the answering machine on when he left and turned it off when he got home.  I got a really eerie feeling but told myself I was being silly.

It turned out that my dad had gone to a comedy club with some friends (including his best friend he'd known since childhood), he was laughing and having a good time, but then abruptly left, saying he wasn't feeling well.   The next morning his friend tried to call him and got the same eerie feeling when the phone just rang.  He did NOT tell himself he was being silly, he rushed over there and got no answer at the door.  He busted the lock and went in and found him.

When MY phone rang I also got an eerie feeling.  My aunt answered the phone and told me "It's your mom, she sounds like she's been crying."  I knew at that moment.



((((hugs)))))



I remember when my grandfather died. The one I was closest to of all my grandparents.  I had just come home from school (5th grade) and
I went to the cupboard to get a snack. My "aunt" called. She asked for my dad who wasn't home... she didn't say anything. she didn't have a tone in her voice or anything but I knew.... I closed the cupboard, hung up the phone and went to my room and sat until my dad came home three hours later.  He came to my room and asked what was wrong- the tv wasn't on  ;D - and I said Aunt Jean called, I think Opa's dead....    My grandfather was not my father's father. There's not a whole lotta love going on on that side of the family anyway- I don't think my "aunt" cared all that much for the man which is why no emotion... but I knew it wasn't my grandmother or my great grandmother or my very elderly "uncle johnny" or even the 98 yr old neighbor "cousin joe" I knew without a doubt it was my grandfather.
 

I kind of had something similar... my dad passed away on Father's Day.  That day I got home from work and tried to call him to wish him a Happy Father's Day... his phone kept ringing, which I thought was strange because he always turned the answering machine on when he left and turned it off when he got home.  I got a really eerie feeling but told myself I was being silly.

It turned out that my dad had gone to a comedy club with some friends (including his best friend he'd known since childhood), he was laughing and having a good time, but then abruptly left, saying he wasn't feeling well.   The next morning his friend tried to call him and got the same eerie feeling when the phone just rang.  He did NOT tell himself he was being silly, he rushed over there and got no answer at the door.  He busted the lock and went in and found him.

When MY phone rang I also got an eerie feeling.  My aunt answered the phone and told me "It's your mom, she sounds like she's been crying."  I knew at that moment.

So sad to hear about this, Andrea. :\'(

So sad to hear about this, Andrea. :\'(


Thanks...

I am actually very grateful that his friend had more sense to follow his instinct than I had, my dad lived alone and it could have been a while before anyone found him.

Also, my dad was a practical joker... and at the funeral there was a fly that kept landing on people and buzzing around in front of their faces... and the thermostat cover fell off the wall when nobody was anywhere near it.  People were freaking out.

((((hugs)))))



I remember when my grandfather died. The one I was closest to of all my grandparents.  I had just come home from school (5th grade) and
I went to the cupboard to get a snack. My "aunt" called. She asked for my dad who wasn't home... she didn't say anything. she didn't have a tone in her voice or anything but I knew.... I closed the cupboard, hung up the phone and went to my room and sat until my dad came home three hours later.   He came to my room and asked what was wrong- the tv wasn't on  ;D - and I said Aunt Jean called, I think Opa's dead....    My grandfather was not my father's father. There's not a whole lotta love going on on that side of the family anyway- I don't think my "aunt" cared all that much for the man which is why no emotion... but I knew it wasn't my grandmother or my great grandmother or my very elderly "uncle johnny" or even the 98 yr old neighbor "cousin joe" I knew without a doubt it was my grandfather.
 


It's weird how that happens, isn't it?  How you just kind of know...

It's weird how that happens, isn't it?  How you just kind of know...


It is. 


oh this is totally weird. Hope you don't mind my sharing.

in the early 90s my mom and I were driving and we saw a sign that said puppies for sale. We weren't looking for a dog but decided to stop. We saw the cutes sharpei mixes. two females.  We bought one and went home. As soon as we got home my dad was like...WTF? And we said the dog was so cute we couldn't resist. At the same time we said we should've gotten the other one too... We looked at each other and hopped back into the car and drove the 14 miles with hopes the other dog was still there. She was....

The first dog we got became my dog and the second one was my moms. When I left Stockton to come to UCSB I couldn't have a dog so my mom kept Sukey for me. When I finally could have a dog we couldn't bear to separate the dogs so my mom continued to raise them... my dad too but you know..... anyway- Even after I got Carly, Sukey was still my dog - tho I admit that I loved Carly more because Sukey was no longer mine  anyway- around 05/06 my mom called me with the bad news that Sukey had died.  She said it was the weirdest thing because my mom knew she was sick and took her to the vet and they made the decision then and there....when they came home my mom's dog ran to great them, saw they were alone and let out a yelp that was like a wail. It was like she knew her sister was dead and never coming home..... she died a year later. 

I kind of had something similar... my dad passed away on Father's Day.  That day I got home from work and tried to call him to wish him a Happy Father's Day... his phone kept ringing, which I thought was strange because he always turned the answering machine on when he left and turned it off when he got home.  I got a really eerie feeling but told myself I was being silly.

It turned out that my dad had gone to a comedy club with some friends (including his best friend he'd known since childhood), he was laughing and having a good time, but then abruptly left, saying he wasn't feeling well.   The next morning his friend tried to call him and got the same eerie feeling when the phone just rang.  He did NOT tell himself he was being silly, he rushed over there and got no answer at the door.  He busted the lock and went in and found him.

When MY phone rang I also got an eerie feeling.  My aunt answered the phone and told me "It's your mom, she sounds like she's been crying."  I knew at that moment.
Same type of feeling I got when my father died, that I was describing earlier - the phone rang and I knew, and not because of any warning, sign or such - I just knew my father was dead :-\\

Same type of feeling I got when my father died, that I was describing earlier - the phone rang and I knew, and not because of any warning, sign or such - I just knew my father was dead :-\\


I never would have believed that was possible until it happened to me. 

((((hugs)))))



I remember when my grandfather died. The one I was closest to of all my grandparents.  I had just come home from school (5th grade) and
I went to the cupboard to get a snack. My "aunt" called. She asked for my dad who wasn't home... she didn't say anything. she didn't have a tone in her voice or anything but I knew.... I closed the cupboard, hung up the phone and went to my room and sat until my dad came home three hours later.   He came to my room and asked what was wrong- the tv wasn't on  ;D - and I said Aunt Jean called, I think Opa's dead....    My grandfather was not my father's father. There's not a whole lotta love going on on that side of the family anyway- I don't think my "aunt" cared all that much for the man which is why no emotion... but I knew it wasn't my grandmother or my great grandmother or my very elderly "uncle johnny" or even the 98 yr old neighbor "cousin joe" I knew without a doubt it was my grandfather.
 
I am so sorry for your loss,

When I said I knew my father was dead as soon as the phone rang, that is the moment it hit me.  No speaking, no answer, no conversation - I just knew.  I was outside watering flowers and we had the old rotary phone with the load classic ring.  I could hear it ring, and I knew.  I could not hear my mom's conversation, I did not hear the person on the other side, I just knew.  My mother acted weird the rest of the night, when I asked her about the phone call - she told me someone invited her to a tupperware party...  She wouldn't tell me (again it had been 7 years since I had really seen him).  Finally the next morning, in her beauty shop I asked her if my father died.  She looked at me with a horrified look - how did I know (not sure how, I just did)

It is. 


oh this is totally weird. Hope you don't mind my sharing.

in the early 90s my mom and I were driving and we saw a sign that said puppies for sale. We weren't looking for a dog but decided to stop. We saw the cutes sharpei mixes. two females.  We bought one and went home. As soon as we got home my dad was like...WTF? And we said the dog was so cute we couldn't resist. At the same time we said we should've gotten the other one too... We looked at each other and hopped back into the car and drove the 14 miles with hopes the other dog was still there. She was....

The first dog we got became my dog and the second one was my moms. When I left Stockton to come to UCSB I couldn't have a dog so my mom kept Sukey for me. When I finally could have a dog we couldn't bear to separate the dogs so my mom continued to raise them... my dad too but you know..... anyway- Even after I got Carly, Sukey was still my dog - tho I admit that I loved Carly more because Sukey was no longer mine  anyway- around 05/06 my mom called me with the bad news that Sukey had died.   She said it was the weirdest thing because my mom knew she was sick and took her to the vet and they made the decision then and there....when they came home my mom's dog ran to great them, saw they were alone and let out a yelp that was like a wail. It was like she knew her sister was dead and never coming home..... she died a year later. 
:\'( I hate when pets die... it is sooo hard  :\'(

I never would have believed that was possible until it happened to me. 
I know - I just wish I would have known the same way with my brother - it would have helped lesson the blow.  I was caught completely off guard, and the whole thing is still a blurr.  But of course that could be because I saw my brother, and had holidays, birthdays and such with him...  My father was not a part of my life, and my brother was

I know - I just wish I would have known the same way with my brother - it would have helped lesson the blow.  I was caught completely off guard, and the whole thing is still a blurr.  But of course that could be because I saw my brother, and had holidays, birthdays and such with him...  My father was not a part of my life, and my brother was



I think part of the reason why losing my sister was so hard was because for many, many years, my family-ALL OF US, had sort of isolated ourselves. About the time when Carlos & I got married (2003), we started coming back together again. It wasn't like an instant thing but a gradual coming back together. One of my other sisters turned 50 in 2005 and we ALL got together. And we started moving closer & closer from there-and then we lost her just as we were all starting to come back together. The rest of us are trying to continue that move closer but there still is an empty place there. So, it is basically a missed opportunity type thing. 



Cat

I am so sorry for your loss,

When I said I knew my father was dead as soon as the phone rang, that is the moment it hit me.  No speaking, no answer, no conversation - I just knew.  I was outside watering flowers and we had the old rotary phone with the load classic ring.  I could hear it ring, and I knew.  I could not hear my mom's conversation, I did not hear the person on the other side, I just knew.  My mother acted weird the rest of the night, when I asked her about the phone call - she told me someone invited her to a tupperware party...  She wouldn't tell me (again it had been 7 years since I had really seen him).  Finally the next morning, in her beauty shop I asked her if my father died.  She looked at me with a horrified look - how did I know (not sure how, I just did)



((((hugs)))))

((((hugs)))))
No worries, I have been over it for quite some time.  Like I said - the worse part for me was that I knew he would never be part of my life.  I would never have that off chance that he might show up for my birthday, that he might be there when I graduate (high school or college), that he may want to walk me down the isle. I knew it was never going to happen, and that I really never mattered, and nothing I could do further could change that.  But that was long ago, and things are the way they are; and I am probably a much stronger person because of it (and I got to go to college - because of the SS I got when he died, and I was a minor)

:\'( I hate when pets die... it is sooo hard  :\'(

I know. Just 17 years ago this month we lost our previous dog, Dusty, a cockerpoo, to cancer. She'd lived a long life anyway (16 1/2 years). It'll be just as sad when we have to say goodbye to Chloe someday.

I might have mention this a few times but I do want to share words of wisdom from my grandmother. She once told me that key to longevity is how we deal with loss. She was so right. But, what she didn't say that the key to dealing with loss has to do with your support network. I feel that all of us have a wonderful support network in each other. I want to thank each and every one of you for making dealing with loss a little easier.


(((((((((((((((((((hugs to all)))))))))))))))))))



Cat


As usual, I agree with my wife's Wicca wisdom.  Sooner or later we all must deal with loss, and will have to find our own road to do so. 

I remember a Zen story, which unfortunately doesn't work for all, but here it is:

A rich man asked a Zen master for a prayer for his family.  After the appointed time he returned and received the following prayer:

May your grandfather die
May your father die
May you die
and may your son die

The man was beside himself with anger: You wish death on my family as a prayer?

The Zen master explained: "All must die, and this is the natural order of death.  For your son (or daughter) to die before you would be a greater tragedy for you than the death of your father.  So I wish you the least degree of the grief that we all must endure."

As I said earlier, my mom passed several years age, and I do miss her, and wish that she could have held her great grand children, as I know she would have loved, but I sometimes think how much more horrible it would be to lose one of my children or grandchildren.  There is much wisdom in this Zen master.  As there is much wisdom in my Wiccan wife.  Hugs to all

Same type of feeling I got when my father died, that I was describing earlier - the phone rang and I knew, and not because of any warning, sign or such - I just knew my father was dead :-\\


I'm sorry about your Father. :(

I remember when my friend Robert who now lives in Schnectady,his Mother passed away a few days before her birthday in November 2002,after that he moved to Schnectady because he really had nobody to take care of him except his brother is now director of AHRC up in Schnectady,New York.

And also my friend Randy's Mother who I known for 16 years,Him and my Brother used to attend a program together,his Mother passed away in May 1996 a year after My Brother passed away.

Hey, I'm really glad I found this thread. I've been grieving alot lately and i needed something like this to get it out.      On September 22nd 2010 I lost my grandmother. She was 66 when she passed. She had been in the hospital for about 2 months on and off. Both her kidneys and her heart were bad.I regret not going over to visit cause i made myself believe she would get better and go home. She got sicker and our family was called in. About 12 members of our family stayed there day and night.

Continued- The night before she died i went outside the hospital and cried cause somehow i knew she was leaving us sooner than everyone thought. I went home that night and from 8am - 1pm the next morning trying to find a drive to the hospital. @ 1:05pm my stephfather came to the door. By the look on his face i knew she was gone. I collapsed and screamed no over and over in the middle of the hallway. I remeber sitting beside her, holding her cold, yet soft hands. Wishing that she would wake up or move.

Continued (sorry i am on my cell) my grandmother was my world. Ive lived with her for amost 15 years of my life. She was a wonderful, funny, gentle and beautiful. I am lucky to have had such an inspirational women in my life.

Hey, I'm really glad I found this thread. I've been grieving alot lately and i needed something like this to get it out.       On September 22nd 2010 I lost my grandmother. She was 66 when she passed. She had been in the hospital for about 2 months on and off. Both her kidneys and her heart were bad.I regret not going over to visit cause i made myself believe she would get better and go home. She got sicker and our family was called in. About 12 members of our family stayed there day and night.



Please except my condolences. I know there are no words that I can say that will ease your pain. I know how hard it is. Just know that you are not alone.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

Hey, I'm really glad I found this thread. I've been grieving alot lately and i needed something like this to get it out.       On September 22nd 2010 I lost my grandmother. She was 66 when she passed. She had been in the hospital for about 2 months on and off. Both her kidneys and her heart were bad.I regret not going over to visit cause i made myself believe she would get better and go home. She got sicker and our family was called in. About 12 members of our family stayed there day and night.


my condolences,Sorry for your loss. :(

My Friend Randy,the people came back with the autopsy,his father died of an enlarged heart,He had diabetes,high blood pressure and had weak blood vessels,He was 81.

I've lost all of my grandparents, most of my uncles and aunts (only one uncle left), and my mother died about 3.5 years ago.

I lost my godfather in the spring of 2002. I can't believe it's almost 9 years!

I wasn't emotionally close to him because I only knew him for awhile, but he was a decent man and a helpful guy.

Hey, I'm really glad I found this thread. I've been grieving alot lately and i needed something like this to get it out.       On September 22nd 2010 I lost my grandmother. She was 66 when she passed. She had been in the hospital for about 2 months on and off. Both her kidneys and her heart were bad.I regret not going over to visit cause i made myself believe she would get better and go home. She got sicker and our family was called in. About 12 members of our family stayed there day and night.

I'm really sorry for your loss :\'(

I have lost my Grandparents most recently October 2010 2 weeks shy of 83 I believe it was.  We had a birthday party a week or so previous to his passing to say goodbye! And I was close to my Paternal Great Grandma too, but she's been gone 20 years...Mom has been gone 6 years now, and it hurt when it happened of course, and I tried to be strong for my father and sisters so I didn't let it depress me too much. But now and then, yes, I do have a moment of crying and wishing she were here with us...even tho I know thing would be different--namely my nieces probably would not be here if she had had a say, but I was her carpool sidekick, she'd drop me at the bus to University on her way to work, then I would reverse the ride to her work to drive home again late afternoon. She was ill but we didn't know it until it was too late
A blood clot/aneurism took her very fast mid February 2004. I dropped out of university and took my first "real"  job replacing her at her daycare job.  I am trying to learn from the mistakes I made: leaving school/getting fired from that job 1 1/2 years later and grow in my faith that things will look brighter "Tomorrow".
 

  I also deeply sympathize and send wishes of healing and strength for continuing on with life's day -to-day to Everyone
            who posted above me!  :\'(
          It's the saddest part of life--losing your loved ones.

  I also deeply sympathize and send wishes of healing and strength for continuing on with life's day -to-day to Everyone
            who posted above me!  :\'(
          It's the saddest part of life--losing your loved ones.


Thanks Michelle and sorry about your grandparents.  :(

Karma. :)

I had forgotten about this thread for a while. In January my mother lost her aunt at the age of 80. It was especially hard on the aunt's two daughters--my mom's cousins--particularly the younger one, who had been taking care of her mother for the longest time.

My grandmother, uncle, father,  best friend, mother, and brother, in that order.   :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(  :\'(

My best friend lost his Mother and Father,one in 1996 and the other one earlier this year.

Of the twenty some aunts and uncles I grew up with, there are only two from that generation still around.  My father (91 in Oct) and my aunt Mary (probably in her 70's - never ask a women her age).  Of all of those, of course I miss my mom the most, think of her every day, but the memories of all the good times well had together, and the relationships with my cousins and their kids just keeps the family alive, and all of them through all of us.

I wish all of you the same peace that gives me.

This past August, my paternal grandmother. :\'(

Just my grandma.

I've lost all my grandparents, the last one died in 1973  :o

My grandma ( on my Mother's side) died as WW2 began.  :o

I've lost several uncles, aunts, a few cousins, my dad, and both my in-laws.

My sister was the closest family member I lost.  Two years later it's strange the way she still lives in all my memories from birth to 41 years, but no more can be made.
:\'(

I lost one of my close childhood friends in 2007. His death occurred two days after his eighteenth birthday. Sometimes it is still difficult for me to think of him as gone because I am only a few months older than him.  ;\

My grandfather died this April at age 87. I stood next to his bed in the hospital when it happened. That was the first time I have seen somebody dying.

All my other grandparents are still alive, being 87,90 and 91. I haven't lost any other really close relative or friend yet.

My grandmother, from my father's side of the family, passed away last year on my birthday. She was the only grandparent I had left so it was very depressing for me. I still miss her of course but I know that she is in a much better place right now.

My maternal grandma and a cousin both passed away this year.

My brother died almost 20 years ago.

I lost my sister nearly 33 years ago this month.  It was hard on my whole family and it still hurts me like anything.  I guess the only thing that I've ever struggled with was everybody knowing about it and me never being able to go out in public like I used to because how my sister died was all over the news.  So you know I've lead a very shielded life.  Which is the way that I like it. 

Thinking about my dad today. It would have been his 82nd birthday.



Cat

Thinking about my dad today. It would have been his 82nd birthday.



Cat


I'm sorry. :( My Brother would've been 44 last week.

I'm sorry. :( My Brother would've been 44 last week.



Thank you, and I am sorry for your loss, too.


Cat

Thank you, and I am sorry for your loss, too.


Cat


Thank You.

I'm sorry. :( My Brother would've been 44 last week.


Hugs

My sister would have been 42 this year had she lived.  :(

My sister would have been 42 this year had she lived.  :(


Hugs.

Thinking about my dad today. It would have been his 82nd birthday.



Cat

Happy birthday in heaven to your father, Cat.

Hugs.


Thanks.  :)

I have now lost another close relative: my paternal grandfather.

This past Sunday, my dad talked to him on the phone, like he often does every week... and somewhere in the conversation, my grandfather said he was gonna call me up sometime the next day (which is now yesterday) to wish me happy birthday. (This I knew after my dad hung up the phone and told my mom and me about his conversation.) So yesterday, we never heard from Grandpa; we even tried calling his house but the voicemail picked up, so we left a message. By late evening, he never called. So then we wondered if everything was okay at his house; after 9pm we called the Palm Desert police department to go over there and investigate... so the cops went over there, and called us back....... to report that he had passed on. :\'(

No one knows when he officially died, given that he had lived all by himself for nearly four years (after my paternal grandma passed on), but my parents and I were all in shock. We had even feared this for the past few years, given his age and condition (he had a few health issues of his own during the final years of his life), as well as his choice to live alone.

He was 86 years old (would've been 87 this September), and my last surviving grandparent. And he went to heaven on my 36th birthday. At least we know he is at peace now.

I have now lost another close relative: my paternal grandfather.

This past Sunday, my dad talked to him on the phone, like he often does every week... and somewhere in the conversation, my grandfather said he was gonna call me up sometime the next day (which is now yesterday) to wish me happy birthday. (This I knew after my dad hung up the phone and told my mom and me about his conversation.) So yesterday, we never heard from Grandpa; we even tried calling his house but the voicemail picked up, so we left a message. By late evening, he never called. So then we wondered if everything was okay at his house; after 9pm we called the Palm Desert police department to go over there and investigate... so the cops went over there, and called us back....... to report that he had passed on. :\'(

No one knows when he officially died, given that he had lived all by himself for nearly four years (after my paternal grandma passed on), but my parents and I were all in shock. We had even feared this for the past few years, given his age and condition (he had a few health issues of his own during the final years of his life), as well as his choice to live alone.

He was 86 years old (would've been 87 this September), and my last surviving grandparent. And he went to heaven on my 36th birthday. At least we know he is at peace now.


I am so very sorry for your loss, Jeffrey. I lost all of my grandparents as well, none of them are living. I know how you feel. I often wish my grandparents were living. :-[

I am so very sorry for your loss, Jeffrey. I lost all of my grandparents as well, none of them are living. I know how you feel. I often wish my grandparents were living. :-[

Yeah, I know that feeling. I was lucky to have at least one grandparent alive for the first 36 years of my life. And I have many memories of all of them. :)

And I know that my grandfather would have called me yesterday, cuz' I'm his only grandchild. (In fact, I was the only grandchild on either side of my family!)

Forgive me for my ignorance everyone, I had no idea this topic existed. I'm sorry to everyone who lost someone recently, or a long time ago.

I had an uncle who passed away recently, two months ago. He had a heart condition.

I have now lost another close relative: my paternal grandfather.

This past Sunday, my dad talked to him on the phone, like he often does every week... and somewhere in the conversation, my grandfather said he was gonna call me up sometime the next day (which is now yesterday) to wish me happy birthday. (This I knew after my dad hung up the phone and told my mom and me about his conversation.) So yesterday, we never heard from Grandpa; we even tried calling his house but the voicemail picked up, so we left a message. By late evening, he never called. So then we wondered if everything was okay at his house; after 9pm we called the Palm Desert police department to go over there and investigate... so the cops went over there, and called us back....... to report that he had passed on. :\'(

No one knows when he officially died, given that he had lived all by himself for nearly four years (after my paternal grandma passed on), but my parents and I were all in shock. We had even feared this for the past few years, given his age and condition (he had a few health issues of his own during the final years of his life), as well as his choice to live alone.

He was 86 years old (would've been 87 this September), and my last surviving grandparent. And he went to heaven on my 36th birthday. At least we know he is at peace now.



I am so sorry. It sucks losing a loved one but when you lose them on your birthday-it is a double whammy. I had a very dear friend die on my birthday many years ago. It really does suck. Please except my condolences to you and your family.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

I'm sorry for your loss, nally.

I have now lost another close relative: my paternal grandfather.

This past Sunday, my dad talked to him on the phone, like he often does every week... and somewhere in the conversation, my grandfather said he was gonna call me up sometime the next day (which is now yesterday) to wish me happy birthday. (This I knew after my dad hung up the phone and told my mom and me about his conversation.) So yesterday, we never heard from Grandpa; we even tried calling his house but the voicemail picked up, so we left a message. By late evening, he never called. So then we wondered if everything was okay at his house; after 9pm we called the Palm Desert police department to go over there and investigate... so the cops went over there, and called us back....... to report that he had passed on. :\'(

No one knows when he officially died, given that he had lived all by himself for nearly four years (after my paternal grandma passed on), but my parents and I were all in shock. We had even feared this for the past few years, given his age and condition (he had a few health issues of his own during the final years of his life), as well as his choice to live alone.

He was 86 years old (would've been 87 this September), and my last surviving grandparent. And he went to heaven on my 36th birthday. At least we know he is at peace now.


so sorry for your loss Jeff. :(

I am so very sorry for your loss, Jeffrey. I lost all of my grandparents as well, none of them are living. I know how you feel. I often wish my grandparents were living. :-[


My grandfather died in 1989 but my grandmother is almost 100 years old.

Forgive me for my ignorance everyone, I had no idea this topic existed. I'm sorry to everyone who lost someone recently, or a long time ago.

I had an uncle who passed away recently, two months ago. He had a heart condition.


sorry for your loss. :(

My grandfather died in 1989 but my grandmother is almost 100 years old.


Jeez 100 years! I'm so happy for her.


sorry for your loss. :(


Thank you.

Jeez 100 years! I'm so happy for her.

Thank you.


She will be 99 in November.

I am so sorry. It sucks losing a loved one but when you lose them on your birthday-it is a double whammy. I had a very dear friend die on my birthday many years ago. It really does suck. Please except my condolences to you and your family.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

Will do. I know it is hard. Yesterday my dad, uncle, and I went out to his place --in the heat-- to start the cleanup process, which is probably going to take several months to complete.  Sorta like what we went through with my maternal grandma's home two years ago.

My grandfather died in 1989 but my grandmother is almost 100 years old.

Jeez 100 years! I'm so happy for her.



She will be 99 in November.

I hope she makes it.

I hope she makes it.


I hope so too, thanks. :)

By the way, my grandfather's cause of death was an aortic aneurysm. :\'(

By the way, my grandfather's cause of death was an aortic aneurysm. :\'(



sorry to hear that. :(

sorry to hear that. :(

Yeah, he'd suffered it a few years back or so, and it was a matter of time before it would burst and thereby end his life. :\'(

My grandpa died in 1989 and my grandma died in 2015.

My grandpa died in 1989 and my grandma died in 2015.


my condolences. :(

My grandpa died in 1989 and my grandma died in 2015.


My grandma died in 2007 and my grandpa died in 2014.

My aunt and her newborn baby died in 2012, she was the aunt I was closest (six aunts) to. My mom started drinking a lot, because of that event. That was a terrible year I'd like to forget, a lot of bad things happened. I honestly haven't thought about it that much in two years, it's kind of depressing to think about so I'll stop here.
I'm better now, though, so no worries.

Sorry for your losses. :(

My grandpa died in 1989 and my grandma died in 2015.


My paternal grandfather died in 2005.

My paternal grandpa passed away before I was born.
My maternal grandpa passed away in 2003, when I was 10.
My maternal grandma passed away in 2005, when I was 12.
My great grand uncle passed away in 2006, when I was 13.
My aunt passed away in 2008, when I was 15.
My paternal grandma and last surviving grandparent passed away in 2014, when I was 20/almost 21.
I had two uncles pass away in 2015. One wasn't blood-related, but a close friend of my parents and a close friend of mine too.


My aunt and her newborn baby died in 2012, she was the aunt I was closest (six aunts) to. My mom started drinking a lot, because of that event. That was a terrible year I'd like to forget, a lot of bad things happened. I honestly haven't thought about it that much in two years, it's kind of depressing to think about so I'll stop here.
I'm better now, though, so no worries.


My condolences  :(

My aunt and her newborn baby died in 2012, she was the aunt I was closest (six aunts) to. My mom started drinking a lot, because of that event. That was a terrible year I'd like to forget, a lot of bad things happened. I honestly haven't thought about it that much in two years, it's kind of depressing to think about so I'll stop here.
I'm better now, though, so no worries.


Sorry for your losses. :(

Sorry for your losses. :(
Thank you.
My paternal grandpa passed away before I was born.
My maternal grandpa passed away in 2003, when I was 10.
My maternal grandma passed away in 2005, when I was 12.
My great grand uncle passed away in 2006, when I was 13.
My aunt passed away in 2008, when I was 15.
My paternal grandma and last surviving grandparent passed away in 2014, when I was 20/almost 21.
I had two uncles pass away in 2015. One wasn't blood-related, but a close friend of my parents and a close friend of mine too.

My condolences  :(


Thank you, and I'm so sorry, that has to be hard :(

My mom and I didn't know my dad's father so we don't exactly know what happened to him.
My paternal grandmother, we think, died in 2003 when I was 27.
My maternal grandmother died in 2007 when I was 31
My maternal great aunt died in 2014 when I was 38
My maternal grandfather died in 2014 when I was 39
My dad died in 2015 when I was 39
My great uncle also died in 2015 when I was 39

My mom and I didn't know my dad's father so we don't exactly know what happened to him.
My paternal grandmother, we think, died in 2003 when I was 27.
My maternal grandmother died in 2007 when I was 31
My maternal great aunt died in 2014 when I was 38
My maternal grandfather died in 2014 when I was 39
My dad died in 2015 when I was 39
My great uncle also died in 2015 when I was 39


Oh my, I'm really sorry :(

My mom and I didn't know my dad's father so we don't exactly know what happened to him.
My paternal grandmother, we think, died in 2003 when I was 27.
My maternal grandmother died in 2007 when I was 31
My maternal great aunt died in 2014 when I was 38
My maternal grandfather died in 2014 when I was 39
My dad died in 2015 when I was 39
My great uncle also died in 2015 when I was 39


sorry for your losses.

Almost two weeks ago recently, my maternal grandfather died from cardiac arrest. He just turned 79 in January. I was devastated, but my grandmother hit it the most with his death, since she was lonely without him. To cheer her up, me and my mom went to Connecticut (where they lived) for a week to see her. It was the longest time I've ever stayed at her house, since I usually stayed there for about three days (and two nights). To commemorate his death, I had my iPhone's ringtone as Evanescence's Lithium (when I usually feel sad) and changed my avatar to the cat from Alice in Wonderland. I did that because he was a big fan of Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I wasn't sure if that was his favorite Disney movie.

Even with that whenever I think of a Golden Age Disney flick (from 1937-1967), I always think of my grandfather and his compassion with Grumpy. Obviously, I don't think Disney is my favorite animation company, but I like of how it fascinated everybody, including my grandparents.  :\'(

Sorry for your loss NYE

No real losses yet, but I'm all, "How do you I live without you? I want to know" when it comes to my loved ones because I see grief happen to some people and it looks really hurtful.

Almost two weeks ago recently, my maternal grandfather died from cardiac arrest. He just turned 79 in January. I was devastated, but my grandmother hit it the most with his death, since she was lonely without him. To cheer her up, me and my mom went to Connecticut (where they lived) for a week to see her. It was the longest time I've ever stayed at her house, since I usually stayed there for about three days (and two nights). To commemorate his death, I had my iPhone's ringtone as Evanescence's Lithium (when I usually feel sad) and changed my avatar to the cat from Alice in Wonderland. I did that because he was a big fan of Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I wasn't sure if that was his favorite Disney movie.

Even with that whenever I think of a Golden Age Disney flick (from 1937-1967), I always think of my grandfather and his compassion with Grumpy. Obviously, I don't think Disney is my favorite animation company, but I like of how it fascinated everybody, including my grandparents.  :\'(



My condolences. :\'(

Almost two weeks ago recently, my maternal grandfather died from cardiac arrest. He just turned 79 in January. I was devastated, but my grandmother hit it the most with his death, since she was lonely without him. To cheer her up, me and my mom went to Connecticut (where they lived) for a week to see her. It was the longest time I've ever stayed at her house, since I usually stayed there for about three days (and two nights). To commemorate his death, I had my iPhone's ringtone as Evanescence's Lithium (when I usually feel sad) and changed my avatar to the cat from Alice in Wonderland. I did that because he was a big fan of Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I wasn't sure if that was his favorite Disney movie.

Even with that whenever I think of a Golden Age Disney flick (from 1937-1967), I always think of my grandfather and his compassion with Grumpy. Obviously, I don't think Disney is my favorite animation company, but I like of how it fascinated everybody, including my grandparents.  :\'(

Sorry for your loss... my condolences to your family. :\'(

Sorry for your loss NYE



My condolences. :\'(



Sorry for your loss... my condolences to your family. :\'(


Thank you all for your responses. I'm sure I'll get through his loss, even though I miss him.    :-\\

Almost two weeks ago recently, my maternal grandfather died from cardiac arrest. He just turned 79 in January. I was devastated, but my grandmother hit it the most with his death, since she was lonely without him. To cheer her up, me and my mom went to Connecticut (where they lived) for a week to see her. It was the longest time I've ever stayed at her house, since I usually stayed there for about three days (and two nights). To commemorate his death, I had my iPhone's ringtone as Evanescence's Lithium (when I usually feel sad) and changed my avatar to the cat from Alice in Wonderland. I did that because he was a big fan of Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, but I wasn't sure if that was his favorite Disney movie.

Even with that whenever I think of a Golden Age Disney flick (from 1937-1967), I always think of my grandfather and his compassion with Grumpy. Obviously, I don't think Disney is my favorite animation company, but I like of how it fascinated everybody, including my grandparents.  :\'(


Damn, I only just saw this. My condolences.  :(

Damn, I only just saw this. My condolences.  :(


It's okay. It was still a sad loss for my family, but we're still living happy.

No real losses yet, but I'm all, "How do you I live without you? I want to know" when it comes to my loved ones because I see grief happen to some people and it looks really hurtful.
There's a reason why I wonder all the time what life would be like without grief and why people say life would be bland without it. And I'm all like, "Why didn't we all evolve to be psychopaths and s***? Wouldn't life be better if love, empathy, and similar emotions didn't exist because all they do is turn us into softies and s***?"

My grandpa died this morning alone at 130 am. The emts arrived. Said he was in bad shape while my grandma was hysterical. And then left her without telling her what to do. So she fell asleep while my grandpa died.

Today at 130 am. You left us. To go to a better place. There's no doubt in my mind that you're in heaven. I had never known a more holy man than you. Somebody who died during the most holy week of the year. You were my role model. And you still are. I loved you so much. And I never got to say goodbye. The last time I saw you was Sunday. I was supposed to see you today after school. And I thought. You were still going to be here. I thought I had a few more days until I would have to face this. You said goodbye Joshua. Just like one usually would when you say goodbye and see them another day. I wish I could've told you. How much you meant to me. How great of a person you were. I loved you grandpa. And I hope when I grow up. I'm just like you. Goodbye. Forever. You fought all you could against leukemia. You fought valiantly. You had courage. You fought for 3 years. And. You fought till you couldn't no more. I love you. All of us do. Look down on us. And I hope your proud. Cancer is a horrible disease that I hope is eradicated from this world.

John Charles Junker.
February 23rd, 1932 - 130 am Tuesday , April 11th, 2017

^ ^

Hope you all cope well. That's alL I got to say.

I finally found out what happened to my paternal grandfather.  He died in 1988 when I was 12.

My grandpa died this morning alone at 130 am. The emts arrived. Said he was in bad shape while my grandma was hysterical. And then left her without telling her what to do. So she fell asleep while my grandpa died.

Today at 130 am. You left us. To go to a better place. There's no doubt in my mind that you're in heaven. I had never known a more holy man than you. Somebody who died during the most holy week of the year. You were my role model. And you still are. I loved you so much. And I never got to say goodbye. The last time I saw you was Sunday. I was supposed to see you today after school. And I thought. You were still going to be here. I thought I had a few more days until I would have to face this. You said goodbye Joshua. Just like one usually would when you say goodbye and see them another day. I wish I could've told you. How much you meant to me. How great of a person you were. I loved you grandpa. And I hope when I grow up. I'm just like you. Goodbye. Forever. You fought all you could against leukemia. You fought valiantly. You had courage. You fought for 3 years. And. You fought till you couldn't no more. I love you. All of us do. Look down on us. And I hope your proud. Cancer is a horrible disease that I hope is eradicated from this world.

John Charles Junker.
February 23rd, 1932 - 130 am Tuesday , April 11th, 2017


My condolences.  :\'(

My grandpa died this morning alone at 130 am. The emts arrived. Said he was in bad shape while my grandma was hysterical. And then left her without telling her what to do. So she fell asleep while my grandpa died.

Today at 130 am. You left us. To go to a better place. There's no doubt in my mind that you're in heaven. I had never known a more holy man than you. Somebody who died during the most holy week of the year. You were my role model. And you still are. I loved you so much. And I never got to say goodbye. The last time I saw you was Sunday. I was supposed to see you today after school. And I thought. You were still going to be here. I thought I had a few more days until I would have to face this. You said goodbye Joshua. Just like one usually would when you say goodbye and see them another day. I wish I could've told you. How much you meant to me. How great of a person you were. I loved you grandpa. And I hope when I grow up. I'm just like you. Goodbye. Forever. You fought all you could against leukemia. You fought valiantly. You had courage. You fought for 3 years. And. You fought till you couldn't no more. I love you. All of us do. Look down on us. And I hope your proud. Cancer is a horrible disease that I hope is eradicated from this world.

John Charles Junker.
February 23rd, 1932 - 130 am Tuesday , April 11th, 2017


I'm sorry.  :\'(

No real losses yet, but I'm all, "How do you I live without you? I want to know" when it comes to my loved ones because I see grief happen to some people and it looks really hurtful.

TBH, I wonder this even though I haven't truly grieved anyone yet, like grief-grief, like of the kind that lasts more than a day and caused by people I actually am close with.

My grandpa died this morning alone at 130 am. The emts arrived. Said he was in bad shape while my grandma was hysterical. And then left her without telling her what to do. So she fell asleep while my grandpa died.

Today at 130 am. You left us. To go to a better place. There's no doubt in my mind that you're in heaven. I had never known a more holy man than you. Somebody who died during the most holy week of the year. You were my role model. And you still are. I loved you so much. And I never got to say goodbye. The last time I saw you was Sunday. I was supposed to see you today after school. And I thought. You were still going to be here. I thought I had a few more days until I would have to face this. You said goodbye Joshua. Just like one usually would when you say goodbye and see them another day. I wish I could've told you. How much you meant to me. How great of a person you were. I loved you grandpa. And I hope when I grow up. I'm just like you. Goodbye. Forever. You fought all you could against leukemia. You fought valiantly. You had courage. You fought for 3 years. And. You fought till you couldn't no more. I love you. All of us do. Look down on us. And I hope your proud. Cancer is a horrible disease that I hope is eradicated from this world.

John Charles Junker.
February 23rd, 1932 - 130 am Tuesday , April 11th, 2017

A bit late for this (although I might have seen it in another thread); sorry for your loss. :(

Today marks 28 years since My Grandfather passed away, he died on September 24th,1989.  :\'(

Today my great-aunt who'd been living in a nursing home for the past five years can now be added to the list. :\'( She was 94 and had suffered from dementia.

Today my great-aunt who'd been living in a nursing home for the past five years can now be added to the list. :\'( She was 94 and had suffered from dementia.



I am sorry. My condolences to you and your family.



Cat

I am sorry. My condolences to you and your family.



Cat

Thanks Cat.

My mom received a text from her cousin (the aunt's son) indicating his mother had passed on this morning... after failing to eat anything the last few days.

No word on any funeral/memorial arrangements as of yet... but my great-aunt is now up in heaven with her big sister, my maternal grandma.

Today my great-aunt who'd been living in a nursing home for the past five years can now be added to the list. :\'( She was 94 and had suffered from dementia.


I'm sorry, my condolences. :(

I haven't, but when I read people who have, I can't help but think, "My God, if ever this happens to me, please put an iron rod in my frontal lobe."

I haven't, but when I read people who have, I can't help but think, "My God, if ever this happens to me, please put an iron rod in my frontal lobe."
Like, I dunno, there's something creepy about the idea that someday, I'm gonna lose someone and not fully forget them. I'm a self-pitier, so I know what pain involving something that will never come back anyway is like, but for some reason I forget that people grieving about death are also feeling the same way as me.

I'm sorry, my condolences. :(

Funeral is at noon PDT today, and from what the cousin has indicated, it's going to be a short service.

You know what? I kind of wonder how the fudge people survive this kinda sheesh, as someone who has never lost anybody close to my heart. Like, I honestly would kill myself or put an iron rod in my frontal lobe if that ever happened to me. No offense, but it's true.

My grandmother died at the beginning of the month.