Does it bother anybody when there's rude/snarky comments said about other people. It's annoying, immature, and pointless. Why putdown somebody.

I know it's best to ignore, but it's just dumb and there's been a few examples that have gotten way out of hand like those that target members rather than their taste in music, film, hobbies, etc. (Plus, we don't exactly know each other).  For example, I actually have a wide interest in music and animation and also post on a few other boards since not many share my interest or many of my threads only had a very few replies or even ignored.

About threads about a certain artist, which I haven't posted any threads for a while: My main intention was to (re)introduce her music (especially her later material) with a bio and song links. I haven't posted any threads about her since I know that they'll get trashed. and/or ignored. And yes, I post on a fan board though don't know anybody who listens to her music since most of my peers are more into rap, emo, and current pop. (BTW, I like a few current artists and also post on different boards in different aliases)


Also there's other things I would like to talk about, but don't think this is the best place. (Yes, I go to therapy, but don't want people to get the wrong impression about me since I'm not that good with putting things into words. Which ironically there's been many assumptions already... All I'll say is that I had/still have an issue with lowself esteem since I was born with a slight deformity and yes I actually have friends)

I can only speak from my experiences on this web site.

Yes...these ridiculous 'flair ups' do bother me and adversely affect my experience here. Having said that I can be really annoying myself and have probably caused some of the afore mentioned issues.

Holding grudges, making premature judgements based on some typed words can be devasting to this community. Additionally, many are too eager to go on the attack rather than let the comment just wash over them ...and hopefully go away. It just is not in some people's nature to back down or be silent....and so situations quickly get out of hand and sometimes are irreversable.  Then some start talking about 'allegiances' etc...as if we are in tribes that are warring....like we have to choose sides!

How does it affect me? I sometimes feel like deleting my account and just going away! Ironically, I'm sure many here would rejoice at that outcome!

Bullies??? Here??? Where???

It's all fun and games,people ::)

Looks like it's time for Santa to leave a G.I.F.T. again.

Some folks make snarky comments about people based on their tastes in music.  My schtick this week was posting HOWTOs for adultery, and when someone topped my douchebaggery by donning a Santa suit and committing mass murder, I broke out the Futurama "Robot Santa" .jpg and linked to Weird Al's "The Night Santa Went Crazy".

Welcome to the Internet.  If you take seriously anything anybody says here, you're doing it wrong.  It's only ones and zeroes, and we're all just figments of your computer's deranged imagination.

How does it affect me? I sometimes feel like deleting my account and just going away! Ironically, I'm sure many here would rejoice at that outcome!



I would miss you...even tho you do pick on me regularly  ;)

Bullies??? Here??? Where???

It's all fun and games,people ::)


It might be "fun and games" to some people....ones that are used to that sort of thing, and possibly don't have lower self esteem and such...but to others, it can be just another knock on their personal preferences..something that they are used to enduring on a daily basis. I suppose it comes down to the fact that not everyone is the same and some things affect others quite differently than some....and certain people can handle that sort of "blow" better than others...whether or not it was meant all in "fun" or not.

I'm more of an avenger than a bully... I like to right wrongs where I perceive them.

Having said that. Rarely will I personally attack someone... I came close to losing it and making it personal with "Later Honey" "ShT" and that "Flaming River Person" when they were called something else. . . but I think- hope- I've keep a civil and level head in the last two flare ups I've encountered.

Yes it's annoying no it's not my problem if someone chooses to do that.  I don't need to waste my time with such things.  When it seems like someone might need help or something I offer it.  If they don't want it then fine I'm done with you. 

I grew up with 0 confidence and a brain tumor and some hearing loss.  I took a lot of pain from stuff like this and not on the internet.  Anyone attacks me, they've already lost the fight.  They'll ban themself long before I get warned because is won't have hardly if any effect on me.

I forgot to mention.. I had a go around with a certain ddouble letteredd banddit (I think he might be back again) but that was intentional (and fun). Sort of a birthday present to myself.  ;D

You run into bullies no matter where you are. At least with online bullies you don't have to confront them.You read what they have to say either agree or disagree with them and go on with the next post.Sure they may make your blood boil and you may feel that you have to speak to or correct that person,but at least I know they are not going to beat the crap out of me.

I'm sorry, but this is all too vague for me to get what you all are talking about?????

Since it's online, best to ignore them though it's just that I appear to be not taken seriously since many of my threads have only gotten a few replies or ignored like the 20th annisersary of "Yo! MTV Raps" to "What Makes A Good Music Video".

There's some things I'd like to say, but best to keep them to myself since I would end up no better than them.

Since it's online, best to ignore them though it's just that I appear to be not taken seriously since many of my threads have only gotten a few replies or ignored like the 20th annisersary of "Yo! MTV Raps" to "What Makes A Good Music Video".



I wouldn't consider this as bullying.  I think it is more like people aren't interested so they leave the thread alone.  We all aren't interested in the same things.  I know I tend to avoid the threads that don't interest me.  Personally, I don't like rap so I never went into that thread.  It wasn't anything against you, just a personal opinion. 

There are a lot of threads I avoid due to lack of interest.  The starter of the topic isn't a reason on any of them. 

I wouldn't consider this as bullying.  I think it is more like people aren't interested so they leave the thread alone.  We all aren't interested in the same things.  I know I tend to avoid the threads that don't interest me.  Personally, I don't like rap so I never went into that thread.  It wasn't anything against you, just a personal opinion. 


that's what I wanted to say but I'm glad I waited.... you said it better.

I can only speak from my experiences on this web site.

Yes...these ridiculous 'flair ups' do bother me and adversely affect my experience here. Having said that I can be really annoying myself and have probably caused some of the afore mentioned issues.

Holding grudges, making premature judgements based on some typed words can be devasting to this community. Additionally, many are too eager to go on the attack rather than let the comment just wash over them ...and hopefully go away. It just is not in some people's nature to back down or be silent....and so situations quickly get out of hand and sometimes are irreversable.  Then some start talking about 'allegiances' etc...as if we are in tribes that are warring....like we have to choose sides!

How does it affect me? I sometimes feel like deleting my account and just going away! Ironically, I'm sure many here would rejoice at that outcome!


I, for one would NOT rejoice if you did that.  :\'( :\'(



Cat

Woops, you seem like a nice person to me.  I will agree with Dagwood, and say that if someone doesn't reply to a thread you start, it is more than likely because they aren't familiar with the type of music or the artist that you are referring to or they just aren't a fan.  I really don't think it is anything personal against you.  There are so many threads here, that it is impossible to reply to every one of them.  There just isn't enough time in the day.  And I also think that people just stick to certain "areas" that they are comfortable in.  For example, I don't hang out in the decades section very often, so I don't even see most of the threads in there.

As for rude, or snarky comments, I think that any time you get a large group of people together, there is bound to be friction.  People just aren't going to get along all of the time.  We are all different personalities, and on the whole, that's what makes us great.  But it is also the cause of fights and confrontation.  I do try to ignore it, but sometimes I get offended by certain comments too.  Like others have said, sometimes you just boil over.  It's only natural.  I hope that you continue to feel accepted here.  I hope everyone does.  (Gibbo, that includes you - please don't delete!)  As for the "bullies."  I guess a bully is in the eye of the beholder.  Once again, we are all people here, and we all have feelings.  Some are more vocal than others at expressing those feelings, and I think those people are automatically labeled as bullies.  I don't know if that is necessairly fair.  I know that there are times that I have wished that I had the guts to say what I have seen others say.  I think when you label a person as a bully it negates any opinion they might have or feelings they might feel.  I don't think that's right.  Though I do agree that sometimes the gang mentality can go a little too far around here as well.  It's hard to know where to draw the line.

Anyway, like I said, I do think you're a nice person.  I hope you can feel comfortable talking about other things in your life.  Maybe you could just PM some of the members you feel closer to if you don't feel like sharing on the entire forum.  There are some wonderful people here.  I know that's what keeps me coming back. 

I' ve started some threads here and they've disappeared.  My rocksann can offer her vocals is me talking to myself.  My Ask Me thread seems to be kept alive by me asking 'anything else?' each month.  I might just let that one go. 

It might be "fun and games" to some people....ones that are used to that sort of thing, and possibly don't have lower self esteem and such...but to others, it can be just another knock on their personal preferences..something that they are used to enduring on a daily basis. I suppose it comes down to the fact that not everyone is the same and some things affect others quite differently than some....and certain people can handle that sort of "blow" better than others...whether or not it was meant all in "fun" or not.


Are you talking about this board? This place is probably the most peaceful,kumbaya,lovey dovey forum i've seen. Maybe it's all forced and fake but no one here can be classified as a bully.
Are we suppose to walk on eggshells because some people have low self esteem?

Are you talking about this board? This place is probably the most peaceful,kumbaya,lovey dovey forum i've seen. Maybe it's all forced and fake but no one here can be classified as a bully.
Are we suppose to walk on eggshells because some people have low self esteem?


I'm talking about real life. Some people can handle things better than others can.

I'm assuming you're talking about my Debbie comment the other day - first of all I really am sorry dude. :) I had no idea you actually took these things hard or that it would upset you this much. Honestly I can understand how you feel 'cause I havent always had the best self esteem myself, and it's never a good feeling when you feel trashed or left out compared to other people.

In real life you see hear and see people's emotions and on a computer you cant, so I think we dont really think about it when you just see words.


You knoiw how on Home Improvement, Tim would tease Al about stuff (like wearing flannel or his feminine traits) and even though it might've mildly annoyed him sometimes, he didn't mean it in a bad way and he really was just kidding around? That's kinda how I was being too.

For the record, I'm into pop culture discussion (i.e. music, tv shows, videogames, tech, movies, music videos) so I've enjoyed alot of topics you've posted and I sorta tend to talk about similar things.




I'm guessing the reason alot of those threads get passed up is because the board is more basic and isnt as into "analytical" pop culture stuff as it used to be (I kinda miss that too, the way it was around 2005) but there's alot of new people now. Plus its grown since then, so I guess some people get tired of talking about previously discussed things. Especially since some people went overboard on decadeology and everyone else suffers as a result.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's times a few things about you might've sorta annoyed me (i.e. putting Debbie over other artists, or kinda just being predictabl with what you'll say), but it was never directed at you personally. I hope there's no hard feelings, I really never meant to hurt your feelings.

I've experienced this a couple of times at my own website about Carolina Circle Mall. Yesterday, one guy signed the guestbook with the words "I used to buy a lot of drugs at Carolina Circle Mall" with my own name.

Yes, it's best to ignore it, but it's still not a good thing to deal with. 8-P

I can't say as I've ever seen major online bullying around here.  Mostly harmless jokes as I am sure any jokes made towards anyone here have all been in fun.  I know all the jokes I make about Debbie Gibson have been in fun.  Heck, I have her Greatest Hits album on CD :)

I was bullied online to almost the worst it can possibly can get.  The guy who bullied me followed me around the internet and even went as far as making a website to slander me and several other people.  It's scary stuff the sickos that are out there

I was bullied online to almost the worst it can possibly can get.  The guy who bullied me followed me around the internet and even went as far as making a website to slander me and several other people.  It's scary stuff the sickos that are out there



Ok, now that's just insane.  :o

The worst I've gotten was a "full assault" about two years ago, only because of one comment I made on a thread, and also several months ago when somebody posted a mean-spirited "joke" that thankfully got deleted.

Though I mostly post on the board games section.

The worst I've gotten was a "full assault" about two years ago, only because of one comment I made on a thread, and also several months ago when somebody posted a mean-spirited "joke" that thankfully got deleted.

Though I mostly post on the board games section.


You must be a champion grudge holder to remember all this stuff.  I didn't recall any of it until you linked it up here.  I also remember the joke as well, but you....erm....didn't take kindly to it, from what I recall.  And it wasn't mean spirited.  I was hoping that it would loosen you up a bit and you'd come back with a good insult on me.  Obviously it backfired. :P

In fairness you should be able to take constructive criticism. People being all out rude or personally attacking you is uncalled for (and I admit I went overboard myself sometimes), but you have to understand, people only know about you the things you post here.

Let me explain the difference--- when you posted this thread and said how you personally sometimes have low self esteem when people make comments about you ... well people can actually be compassionate about that, because that's the first time I can recall where you actually expressed yourself a bit. Thanks for taking the time to do that - see now people can relate to that on a humanl level, because then you expressed some personal feelings.





Now, again I dont think people were ever trashing you merely for liking Debbie. Being a devoted fan and rooting for her is fine. It's simply the idea that you elevate her above everyone else, and have posted similar things about her having a massive comeback time and time again - and when people politely try and explain things, you ignore or become defensive.

Its the BEHAVIOR, not YOU - please understand that. :)




Let me put it in perspective -  there's LOADS of 80s artists that I love and still listen to today and probably have been a fan of since I was a little kid....but logically I know they'll never have another huge mainstream comeback. I love Cyndi, Huey Lewis, Tears for Fears, Lionel Richie and the Police among tons of others, but I'm content with listening to their past music. Heck I'm sure THEY are perfectly happy being low profile these days too and being recongnized for their older songs.

Even one of my personal favorites - Paula - who is kind of still in the spotlight now (because of Idol) and even had a reasonably big hit earlier this year.....I know she'll never be as popular again for her music as she was in 1989-92. Oh I'll definitely root for her if she releases new music, but I'm not gonna expect another "Rush Rush" or "Opposites Atract" level hit either.

Can you please attempt to understand that? I'm not trying to insult you, if anything i'm trying to HELP you.

^ Nicely said, Marty. I do get kinda bored with the truckload of D.G. posts that he makes. It's not that I don't care one way or the other, but it does seem like an obssession. However, I am especially tired of the posts that he makes that slam current music acts (some of which are Disney-oriented). Slamming a certain performer (i.e, saying very harsh things about them, such as "So & so are a bunch of dumb biggots") is rather uncalled for, and the line should be drawn there. A person is entitled to their opinion about any performer, but they can constructively criticize the performer to the point where it doesn't sound unkind.

I'm aware that that artist would never be as famous as she was 21 years ago, my main  intentions was to advertise (can't think of another word) her music or projects. I'm not the only person, there's been people posting threads about latest material from Axl Rose/Guns N, Roses & Michael Jackson in the past.

Also I haven't posted any threads about her lately and actually decided to stop recently since they weren't going anywhere.

...have to stop since I have to go

Interesting thread woops!
I have tons to comment on as well.


Does it bother anybody when there's rude/snarky comments said about other people. It's annoying, immature, and pointless. Why putdown somebody.


I will admit to have seen this before, however I can also admit that I have read things and taken them the wrong way. There is no tone when it comes to written words, unless someone explicitly writes "this is in a snarky tone", you don't know for sure how they are saying it. Personally, I have had to pm a few people to see what they meant before I reacted on the boards, any boards for that matter. Most times, the snarky sound people imagine is actually friendly help, but perceived as such because the "I'm right, you're wrong" mentality flows through everyone.

I know it's best to ignore, but it's just dumb and there's been a few examples that have gotten way out of hand like those that target members rather than their taste in music, film, hobbies, etc. (Plus, we don't exactly know each other).  For example, I actually have a wide interest in music and animation and also post on a few other boards since not many share my interest or many of my threads only had a very few replies or even ignored.

It is definitely best to ignore, but kind of hard to when you immediately have it in your head that you are being attacked. Again, tone is not available, so no matter what the words are, someone who feels they are being attacked is going to retaliate no matter the actual intent of the poster. I have seen it happen so many times. Even fights between friends because one feels the other has jumped ship. There is unfortunately, no reasoning with one who feels attacked - an apology could work, but only if it is truly meant, but other than that you won't get much from those of an online community. Who's to say your best friend online today could be your enemy tomorrow. We don't know each other. So does it really matter?

About threads about a certain artist, which I haven't posted any threads for a while: My main intention was to (re)introduce her music (especially her later material) with a bio and song links. I haven't posted any threads about her since I know that they'll get trashed. and/or ignored. And yes, I post on a fan board though don't know anybody who listens to her music since most of my peers are more into rap, emo, and current pop. (BTW, I like a few current artists and also post on different boards in different aliases)


About certain artists isn't a bad thing. There are several other members who post about their favorite artists. For that matter there are all kinds of other members who post about whatever they like. Not all of their threads get replied to, heck, not all of my threads get replied to. Doesn't bother me. Why? Because even without replies, there is a view counter so I know at least some have read it. If I worried about whether or not my threads were being replied to on a website along with my real-life worries... OML what a mess my life would be.

~I am reading each post and going to reply as I do.

Tam 8)

I don't mean to trivialize online bullying, but when I was cornered by the neighborhood bullies when I was a kid, I dreamed of being able to just press a button and make them all disappear!
:o

I can only speak from my experiences on this web site.

Yes...these ridiculous 'flair ups' do bother me and adversely affect my experience here. Having said that I can be really annoying myself and have probably caused some of the afore mentioned issues.

Holding grudges, making premature judgements based on some typed words can be devasting to this community. Additionally, many are too eager to go on the attack rather than let the comment just wash over them ...and hopefully go away. It just is not in some people's nature to back down or be silent....and so situations quickly get out of hand and sometimes are irreversable.  Then some start talking about 'allegiances' etc...as if we are in tribes that are warring....like we have to choose sides!

How does it affect me? I sometimes feel like deleting my account and just going away! Ironically, I'm sure many here would rejoice at that outcome!


If I could karma you again I would.

I think a problem with members going on the attack is because there is something that holds them back from doing so in their real lives. It is one thing to be straight from the hip, no bullshyt, but something completely different to be the one going 'poor me, won't somebody help me?". Occasionally, you will see other members flock to the aid of a friend, especially one's who have been targeted for no apparent reason, and who do not deserve to be treated as such. And then you will also see members flock to another, trying to calm them down and help them make it through a situation unburned. No matter the reason, it almost always causes some sort of drama, and neither side really wins. Just a bunch of people trying to do the right thing and ending up with egg on their faces.... :-\\

Bullies??? Here??? Where???

It's all fun and games,people ::)


Now, personally, I perceive this quote as someone making fun of the topic at hand. Like it isn't even worth getting upset over. If I perceive it that way then so may others, who would undoubtedly get their backs up and start to defend.... no?

Did Dizzy mean it that way?
We don't know for sure because there is no tone.




It might be "fun and games" to some people....ones that are used to that sort of thing, and possibly don't have lower self esteem and such...but to others, it can be just another knock on their personal preferences..something that they are used to enduring on a daily basis. I suppose it comes down to the fact that not everyone is the same and some things affect others quite differently than some....and certain people can handle that sort of "blow" better than others...whether or not it was meant all in "fun" or not.


Exactly, but no matter how it is presented, someone is going to feel bashed aren't they? It is a no win situation I believe.


Yes it's annoying no it's not my problem if someone chooses to do that.  I don't need to waste my time with such things.  When it seems like someone might need help or something I offer it.  If they don't want it then fine I'm done with you. 

I grew up with 0 confidence and a brain tumor and some hearing loss.  I took a lot of pain from stuff like this and not on the internet.  Anyone attacks me, they've already lost the fight.  They'll ban themself long before I get warned because is won't have hardly if any effect on me.



Sheer Genius! Wish there were more with this attitude. 8)

You run into bullies no matter where you are. At least with online bullies you don't have to confront them.You read what they have to say either agree or disagree with them and go on with the next post.Sure they may make your blood boil and you may feel that you have to speak to or correct that person,but at least I know they are not going to beat the crap out of me.


You don't have to confront them - but people still do don't they? ???
I never have nor never will understand the attack mentality. Some may think that I have that ability down pat, but I do not attack. There is so much on the side that is missed, and it only gets to the boards by the sheer lack of response from the other side. I recommend. It's up to them what they do with that recommendation. Sometimes though, I have to help them with their decisions.


Since it's online, best to ignore them though it's just that I appear to be not taken seriously since many of my threads have only gotten a few replies or ignored like the 20th annisersary of "Yo! MTV Raps" to "What Makes A Good Music Video".

There's some things I'd like to say, but best to keep them to myself since I would end up no better than them.


And so right here woops, do you not realize that without saying names, you yourself just attacked members?
Interesting right? Not a good thing if you feel attacked, but it's ok to put it out there as long as you don't use names? Where is the fairness in that? An attack is an attack my friend, and no one is untouchable.

I wouldn't consider this as bullying.  I think it is more like people aren't interested so they leave the thread alone.  We all aren't interested in the same things.  I know I tend to avoid the threads that don't interest me.  Personally, I don't like rap so I never went into that thread.  It wasn't anything against you, just a personal opinion. 

There are a lot of threads I avoid due to lack of interest.  The starter of the topic isn't a reason on any of them. 


I agree with Snoz, excellent point Dagny.


Woops, you seem like a nice person to me.  I will agree with Dagwood, and say that if someone doesn't reply to a thread you start, it is more than likely because they aren't familiar with the type of music or the artist that you are referring to or they just aren't a fan.  I really don't think it is anything personal against you.  There are so many threads here, that it is impossible to reply to every one of them.  There just isn't enough time in the day.  And I also think that people just stick to certain "areas" that they are comfortable in.  For example, I don't hang out in the decades section very often, so I don't even see most of the threads in there.

As for rude, or snarky comments, I think that any time you get a large group of people together, there is bound to be friction.  People just aren't going to get along all of the time.  We are all different personalities, and on the whole, that's what makes us great.  But it is also the cause of fights and confrontation.  I do try to ignore it, but sometimes I get offended by certain comments too.  Like others have said, sometimes you just boil over.  It's only natural.  I hope that you continue to feel accepted here.  I hope everyone does.  (Gibbo, that includes you - please don't delete!)  As for the "bullies."  I guess a bully is in the eye of the beholder.  Once again, we are all people here, and we all have feelings.  Some are more vocal than others at expressing those feelings, and I think those people are automatically labeled as bullies.  I don't know if that is necessairly fair.  I know that there are times that I have wished that I had the guts to say what I have seen others say.  I think when you label a person as a bully it negates any opinion they might have or feelings they might feel.  I don't think that's right.  Though I do agree that sometimes the gang mentality can go a little too far around here as well.  It's hard to know where to draw the line.

Anyway, like I said, I do think you're a nice person.  I hope you can feel comfortable talking about other things in your life.  Maybe you could just PM some of the members you feel closer to if you don't feel like sharing on the entire forum.  There are some wonderful people here.  I know that's what keeps me coming back. 


And perfect Ash.

Thing is though, we have asked for certain things to be taken to pm's, but of course nothing ever gets worked out that way. It still comes back to the boards, and you see people talking about it in sub-text, like no one knows what they are really talking about, at least not in that clique or this clique or whoever's clique. All it really is, is a bunch of gibberish with those involved trying to make others look stupid, isn't it?

I'm assuming you're talking about my Debbie comment the other day - first of all I really am sorry dude. :) I had no idea you actually took these things hard or that it would upset you this much. Honestly I can understand how you feel 'cause I havent always had the best self esteem myself, and it's never a good feeling when you feel trashed or left out compared to other people.

Jesse, I am sorry but you had to realize this reply was coming. Someone once said to me "Pot/Kettle" - sometimes our own words are the ones we should be listening to.

In real life you see hear and see people's emotions and on a computer you cant, so I think we dont really think about it when you just see words.


You knoiw how on Home Improvement, Tim would tease Al about stuff (like wearing flannel or his feminine traits) and even though it might've mildly annoyed him sometimes, he didn't mean it in a bad way and he really was just kidding around? That's kinda how I was being too.

And I have to disagree with you about Home Improvement. Tim always said what he meant. He never thought about what he said until someone else points it out to him. He and Al had a HUGE blowout over the entire situation, and it wasn't until them that Tim realized what a pompous ass he was being.

For the record, I'm into pop culture discussion (i.e. music, tv shows, videogames, tech, movies, music videos) so I've enjoyed alot of topics you've posted and I sorta tend to talk about similar things.

I'm guessing the reason alot of those threads get passed up is because the board is more basic and isnt as into "analytical" pop culture stuff as it used to be (I kinda miss that too, the way it was around 2005) but there's alot of new people now. Plus its grown since then, so I guess some people get tired of talking about previously discussed things. Especially since some people went overboard on decadeology and everyone else suffers as a result.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there's times a few things about you might've sorta annoyed me (i.e. putting Debbie over other artists, or kinda just being predictabl with what you'll say), but it was never directed at you personally. I hope there's no hard feelings, I really never meant to hurt your feelings.


... open mouth, insert foot ...

The worst I've gotten was a "full assault" about two years ago, only because of one comment I made on a thread, and also several months ago when somebody posted a mean-spirited "joke" that thankfully got deleted.

Though I mostly post on the board games section.



You must be a champion grudge holder to remember all this stuff.  I didn't recall any of it until you linked it up here.  I also remember the joke as well, but you....erm....didn't take kindly to it, from what I recall.  And it wasn't mean spirited.  I was hoping that it would loosen you up a bit and you'd come back with a good insult on me.  Obviously it backfired. :P



Seriously, if it was as bad as you think it was, to remember it after all this time - it should have been reported.
Mods and admin do not read every single post. We don't know every thing that has been said. Click the damn report button already!

^ Nicely said, Marty. I do get kinda bored with the truckload of D.G. posts that he makes. It's not that I don't care one way or the other, but it does seem like an obssession. However, I am especially tired of the posts that he makes that slam current music acts (some of which are Disney-oriented). Slamming a certain performer (i.e, saying very harsh things about them, such as "So & so are a bunch of dumb biggots") is rather uncalled for, and the line should be drawn there. A person is entitled to their opinion about any performer, but they can constructively criticize the performer to the point where it doesn't sound unkind.


Thanks Jeff.:)


Woops - again I"m sure you're a decent guy. And since I'm into discussing pop culture I DO like several of the threads you've done. That's never been my issue, and again I apologize if I've ever contributed to you feeling upset or hurt. :) I have feelings too, and I feel awful if I've done that to someone (even if I disagree with them, etc).

All I'm saying is, you should listen to people and not sidestep the issue when people say something to you. It becomes like talking to a brick wall when you say the same things/act the same way - THAT gets frustrating.

Just be a bit more lighthearted (I'm not just talking about Debbie, but with anything). Thats what I've learned to do. For instance, sure sometimes things will bug me - like if people only a few years younger than me rip on the 80s or dont have any nostalgia for them. It makes me kinda feel old and left out from friends. But you know what, when I'm in a situation like that I'll just be self depricating (i.e. "Yeah I know I'm hella old school" and laughing about it instead of getting defensive).

See what I mean?

In fairness you should be able to take constructive criticism. People being all out rude or personally attacking you is uncalled for (and I admit I went overboard myself sometimes), but you have to understand, people only know about you the things you post here.

Let me explain the difference--- when you posted this thread and said how you personally sometimes have low self esteem when people make comments about you ... well people can actually be compassionate about that, because that's the first time I can recall where you actually expressed yourself a bit. Thanks for taking the time to do that - see now people can relate to that on a humanl level, because then you expressed some personal feelings.
...
Can you please attempt to understand that? I'm not trying to insult you, if anything i'm trying to HELP you.


Again Jesse, perhaps you need to heed your own words.


^ Nicely said, Marty. I do get kinda bored with the truckload of D.G. posts that he makes. It's not that I don't care one way or the other, but it does seem like an obssession. However, I am especially tired of the posts that he makes that slam current music acts (some of which are Disney-oriented). Slamming a certain performer (i.e, saying very harsh things about them, such as "So & so are a bunch of dumb biggots") is rather uncalled for, and the line should be drawn there. A person is entitled to their opinion about any performer, but they can constructively criticize the performer to the point where it doesn't sound unkind.


And constructive criticism is what it comes down to right?
But still, even if it is wrapped in a big red bow, people are going to perceive what they want to aren't they?

I don't mean to trivialize online bullying, but when I was cornered by the neighborhood bullies when I was a kid, I dreamed of being able to just press a button and make them all disappear!
:o


Imagine Max!!! That button exists for me!!! ;D

Thanks Jeff.:)


Woops - again I"m sure you're a decent guy. And since I'm into discussing pop culture I DO like several of the threads you've done. That's never been my issue, and again I apologize if I've ever contributed to you feeling upset or hurt. :) I have feelings too, and I feel awful if I've done that to someone (even if I disagree with them, etc).

All I'm saying is, you should listen to people and not sidestep the issue when people say something to you. It becomes like talking to a brick wall when you say the same things/act the same way - THAT gets frustrating.
....


Insightful.
I still maintain that you need to heed your own words.

I don't mean to trivialize online bullying, but when I was cornered by the neighborhood bullies when I was a kid, I dreamed of being able to just press a button and make them all disappear!
:o



I too, had an experience like that. I wasn't cornered but surrounded by a bunch of mean girls. It was not pretty. I was lucky because someone saw what was going on and stopped her car before they were able to lay a hand on me. What surprised me was I found out later that "my rescuer" was the mother of another girl I thought was also a bully-and she was in the car when her mother stopped.



Cat

Jesse, I am sorry but you had to realize this reply was coming. Someone once said to me "Pot/Kettle" - sometimes our own words are the ones we should be listening to.

And I have to disagree with you about Home Improvement. Tim always said what he meant. He never thought about what he said until someone else points it out to him. He and Al had a HUGE blowout over the entire situation, and it wasn't until them that Tim realized what a pompous ass he was being.

... open mouth, insert foot ...


You're probably right. People do make mistakes (like I did) but I learned from them and can mature and admit I was wrong, especially since I kinda started it.

Well, true Tim was kind of a jerk. ;) I remember one episode where Al actually called him on stuff he said and explained how it actually was hurtful. Tim said he was just kidding around and doing it as a friend because he liked him...but the point is Al didn't take it that way and got upset as a result. I know they're not real people but I think that's an example of how real emotions do work, you alwyas have to be conscious of the other person's feelings.


Insightful.
I still maintain that you need to heed your own words.


Well...I don't want the whole thing with me to start back up and go in circles all over again so I'll just say really quickly what I've learned is to basically just interact with the people I like and try and steer clear of those I don't.

Sure I'll come out and say there are few people on here I flat out don't get along with or don't like (for whatever reason)... but you know what? Even wieh THEM I would be willing to be cool if they wanted to be my friend. That's just the way I am. I'm very liberal and forgiving. Even if I think I was right, I dont have it in me to hold a grudge to someone. If I screw up I can admit so and say I'm sorry. And if they dont wanna forgive me that's cool too (I guess it's life), in that case I'll just stay away from them.

You're probably right. People do make mistakes (like I did) but I learned from them and can mature and admit I was wrong, especially since I kinda started it.

Well, true Tim was kind of a jerk. ;) I remember one episode where Al actually called him on stuff he said and explained how it actually was hurtful. Tim said he was just kidding around and doing it as a friend because he liked him...but the point is Al didn't take it that way and got upset as a result. I know they're not real people but I think that's an example of how real emotions do work, you alwyas have to be conscious of the other person's feelings.

Well...I don't want the whole thing with me to start back up and go in circles all over again so I'll just say really quickly what I've learned is to basically just interact with the people I like and try and steer clear of those I don't.

Sure I'll come out and say there are few people on here I flat out don't get along with or don't like (for whatever reason)... but you know what? Even wieh THEM I would be willing to be cool if they wanted to be my friend. That's just the way I am. I'm very liberal and forgiving. Even if I think I was right, I dont have it in me to hold a grudge to someone. If I screw up I can admit so and say I'm sorry. And if they dont wanna forgive me that's cool too (I guess it's life), in that case I'll just stay away from them.


Of course I am not trying to do that - I was just being constructive and pointing in a direction that one might follow.

Lord knows I have offended/hurt my fair share of people around here, but at least the steps I took to clean up those messes made the world of difference. And as long as you get your point across, that it isn't meant to be hurtful, then there shouldn't be a problem in the communication. Bullying or not, communication is what matters the most I think.

^Oh it's cool Tam, I know where you're coming from. :)

I guess some people are more forgiving than others, and a consequence of life is you gotta be responsible for your own actions. Some people just don't click and some do (others it's kinda inbetween depending on the situation), and for those that don't, the best thing to probably do is run in different circles.

Now, personally, I perceive this quote as someone making fun of the topic at hand. Like it isn't even worth getting upset over. If I perceive it that way then so may others, who would undoubtedly get their backs up and start to defend.... no?

Did Dizzy mean it that way?
We don't know for sure because there is no tone.



I am laughing at all this 'cause it's nothing but bs. We're not 12 year old kids who are being harassed, just change the channel if you don't like it.
And i'm done :P

I am laughing at all this 'cause it's nothing but bs. We're not 12 year old kids who are being harassed, just change the channel if you don't like it.
And i'm done :P


It's cool Girl.
I used your post to make a point.

I was pretty sure it was bs, but like we know, there are those here who rely totally on the written word, instead of trying to read between the lines. 8)

usually people get in more trouble when they read between the lines.

usually people get in more trouble when they read between the lines.





Yep.....we should just give people the benefit of the doubt ...... that they're not actually trying to intentionally hurt someone. :)

Again Jesse, perhaps you need to heed your own words.

And constructive criticism is what it comes down to right?
But still, even if it is wrapped in a big red bow, people are going to perceive what they want to aren't they?



That's true. People perceive all kinds of things however they please.

usually people get in more trouble when they read between the lines.




Depends though doesn't it?

--------------------------------------------------

A lot can be said about the so-called bullying that goes on around here.

Sadly, I do not see it as much as others do. There have been several times where I have had to stop and ask someone if they are being serious or what, because as had been said many times before here, tone of voice is not included in our posts.  But I am not afraid to stop and ask. Heck, I would rather feel like an idiot for asking instead of feeling like I am being bullied when it isn't the case.

woops - to your point about threads you have started not getting a lot of response... a lot of mine don't either. It's not a big deal ...really. I mean, sure it upsets me if I don't get the number of replies or the interest I thought I was going to get, but then I just stop and remember that not everyone is the same, so what I love may actually be something that someone else detests! It isn't a judge against your character. Never confuse that. Your threads are generally interesting to me, but I just don't know much about some of the things you do in order to respond to the threads. I am the same way with Marty McFly. That guy has an amazing head on his shoulders, but sometimes he loses me, so I just don't reply 'cause I don't wanna look entirely stupid. (I know I look stupid a lot of the time, but trying not to look stupid ALL of the time is my goal.) ;)

Anyway, I think the only area around here you might find bullies is in the Politics section, and even then 9 times out of 10, the tone of voice has been taken wrong. 8)

Tam 8)

^Thanks Tam lol. Yeah, I admit I get pretty carried away in posts sometimes. ;) What's funny is alot of the time I only mean to do a couple sentences, but then one thing leads to another and I just wanna express myself so much that it turns into a book before I realize it. ;D

Basically I agree with you though, I think it boils down to misunderstanding alot of the time. Only we know how we really mean things and someone else might take it the wrong way.

Like I've said about woops, I enjoy pop culture posts but I think it's also that the board has been around so long that I sometimes get tired of saying the same stuff. I like alot of your posts, though.

^Thanks Tam lol. Yeah, I admit I get pretty carried away in posts sometimes. ;) What's funny is alot of the time I only mean to do a couple sentences, but then one thing leads to another and I just wanna express myself so much that it turns into a book before I realize it. ;D

Basically I agree with you though, I think it boils down to misunderstanding alot of the time. Only we know how we really mean things and someone else might take it the wrong way.

Like I've said about woops, I enjoy pop culture posts but I think it's also that the board has been around so long that I sometimes get tired of saying the same stuff. I like alot of your posts, though.


Shoot Jesse... have you seen the length of some of my posts? ;D

When we start writing about something that we are passionate about, it is hard to stop ourselves. I completely understand this. I could sit down and write forever about Duran Duran, but who is really going to take the time to read it? Probably only the Duranies like myself. If others didn't or don't like Duran2, then why would they waste their time reading about them? However, that has never stopped me. I have several threads here somewhere about Duran2, and although they might only have 1 or 2 replies, I am thankful for any reply at all.
8)

Shoot Jesse... have you seen the length of some of my posts? ;D

When we start writing about something that we are passionate about, it is hard to stop ourselves. I completely understand this. I could sit down and write forever about Duran Duran, but who is really going to take the time to read it? Probably only the Duranies like myself. If others didn't or don't like Duran2, then why would they waste their time reading about them? However, that has never stopped me. I have several threads here somewhere about Duran2, and although they might only have 1 or 2 replies, I am thankful for any reply at all.
8)




Totally agree, I think we just get excited and have so much to say, but it'll only interest someone who wants to read it. Personally I like long posts though, so its all good. :)

Not to threadjack here, but speaking of Duran, I kinda felt guilty for a long time for not being much of a fan. I saw the videos for "Hungry Like the Wolf" and "Rio" on VH1 as a kid around '91/92, but never got much into them since I only thought the songs were so so, but they're a really good band. I love The Reflex and New Moon on Monday now. :)

Depends though doesn't it?

--------------------------------------------------

A lot can be said about the so-called bullying that goes on around here.

Sadly, I do not see it as much as others do. There have been several times where I have had to stop and ask someone if they are being serious or what, because as had been said many times before here, tone of voice is not included in our posts.  But I am not afraid to stop and ask. Heck, I would rather feel like an idiot for asking instead of feeling like I am being bullied when it isn't the case.

Tam 8)




some of that goes with getting to know people too tho right.

Like I had a thread where gibbo made an obvious gibbo like joke.  McFly read it and didn't see it as joke...but that's because McFly didn't exchange as much with gibbo as the others in that thread did.  I think a lot has to be said for getting to know someone you post a lot with.

I exchange a lot of pms with people here so they have learned that I am sarcastic and, I think, can tell when I'm joking or when I'm being serious...

only once has my tone been misread but, considering the person who misread it...it didn't surprise me that she did.

^ Snoz?!  Sarcastic?!  WTF!?

:D

As if

^ Snoz?!  Sarcastic?!  WTF!?

:D


I know, it boggles the mind, doesn't it, Rice?  I never would have guessed!  ::) ;)

I know, it boggles the mind, doesn't it, Rice?  I never would have guessed!  ::) ;)



HEY!  >:(



:P




;D

As if


I remember getting question by a certain member(not you) when I used "As if" awhile back.

I remember getting question by a certain member(not you) when I used "As if" awhile back.


see, I'm just selective about who I use it with  ;)

One thing I forgot to mention is that I've never stated that a certain artist is better than others.  Though another  misconception would be my age, which have happened on a rare occasion.


I've thought about leaving the forum, though this is probably the best and most active. BTW, I'm also a regular on a few...

I have thought about Toon Zone (since I enjoy animation), but they have strict rules and a no YouTube policy. Not to mention the majority appear to be into Cartoon Netwok and also hardcore animation fanatics that know every episode title, quote, etc.  Also "Golden Age Cartoons", though I consider myself a casual fan (only like for entertainment value) and also in between since there's some vintage cartoons that I don't care for and some current I like... 

One thing I forgot to mention is that I've never stated that a certain artist is better than others.  Though another  misconception would be my age, which have happened on a rare occasion.


I've thought about leaving the forum, though this is probably the best and most active. BTW, I'm also a regular on a few...

I have thought about Toon Zone (since I enjoy animation), but they have strict rules and a no YouTube policy. Not to mention the majority appear to be into Cartoon Netwok and also hardcore animation fanatics that know every episode title, quote, etc.  Also "Golden Age Cartoons", though I consider myself a casual fan (only like for entertainment value) and also in between since there's some vintage cartoons that I don't care for and some current I like... 




Don't leave woops! For real! We like having you here!

And we are definitely not as strict as other message boards! 8)

Sometimes the biggest online bullies play themselves off as online victims. 

No names here....

I have a feeling that somebody woill post a dumb thread and make a snarky referance to myself  :( :-\\ :P ::)

I have a feeling that somebody woill post a dumb thread and make a snarky referance to myself  :( :-\\ :P ::)





why?

I have a feeling that somebody woill post a dumb thread and make a snarky referance to myself  :( :-\\ :P ::)





Everything I want to say to this comment sounds completely snarky. :-X

Everything I want to say to this comment sounds completely snarky. :-X


Snarky is the new nice!
:P

Snarky is the new nice!
:P


If you say it is, then it must be true. :P

see, I'm just selective about who I use it with  ;)





I used it on Davey Thrastmister. It wasn't him who question me though.

I used it on Davey Thrastmister. It wasn't him who question me though.


don't you love it when someone has to chime in on something you direct to one person?



oh wait.... i do that  ;D

why?


"Hey Woops, I know you're gonna like this film"

And not talking about the next Scarlett Johansson project (though Scarlett's just a celebrity crush)...

"Hey Woops, I know you're gonna like this film"

And not talking about the next Scarlett Johansson project (though Scarlett's just a celebrity crush)...




Srsly dude.....


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

Srsly dude.....


http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif


I didn't really get it the first time I read it.... maybe I missed a post somewhere that would make it make sense

I didn't really get it the first time I read it.... maybe I missed a post somewhere that would make it make sense


He complained a few posts up about how he just "knew" someone was going to start a snarky thread about him or some BS like that.  Sounds like a big fat pity party to me.

Hence:

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

I'm too trashed to try and make them march tonight. :D

He complained a few posts up about how he just "knew" someone was going to start a snarky thread about him or some BS like that.  Sounds like a big fat pity party to me.

Hence:

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

I'm too trashed to try and make them march tonight. :D



no I got that part... and karen asked why... what I didn't get was the response to karen's why...what movie?

oh well....

no I got that part... and karen asked why... what I didn't get was the response to karen's why...what movie?

oh well....


Ah so.  I see what you're saying now.  Yeah, I looked back and didn't find anyone being snarky to him after this thread (or anything pertaining to a movie), so I have no clue as to WTF he's talking about.  So it is my opinion only (and you know what they say about opinions) that he is merely looking for attention.

Therefore, I will use this smiley again:

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

no I got that part... and karen asked why... what I didn't get was the response to karen's why...what movie?

oh well....


Me neither.  That's why I didn't respond.

I'm not looking for attention and I'm aware of the immature/rude people on this board, which I won't mention...

The movie's a stupid made-for-DVD stink fest titled "Mega Octopus vs. Giant Shark"  (or something) that's out in May and would end up in the Sci Fi Channel around that time with other bad CGI creature flicks.  I know nobody would give a darn, but a few would...

how could a movie called "mega-octopus vs. giant shark" possibly be bad?

how could a movie called "mega-octopus vs. giant shark" possibly be bad?


Sounds like a great cheese-fest to me. ;D

with those kind of movies you know exactly what you're getting...that's why they are fun!

I'm not looking for attention and I'm aware of the immature/rude people on this board, which I won't mention...

But you just did mention them. ;)


The movie's a stupid made-for-DVD stink fest titled "Mega Octopus vs. Giant Shark"  (or something) that's out in May and would end up in the Sci Fi Channel around that time with other bad CGI creature flicks.  I know nobody would give a darn, but a few would...


But how does that tie in to this post you made?:


I have a feeling that somebody woill post a dumb thread and make a snarky referance to myself  :( :-\\ :P ::)





That's what I was talking about.  Why would you assume that?

how could a movie called "mega-octopus vs. giant shark" possibly be bad?


  That's a good question...

how could a movie called "mega-octopus vs. giant shark" possibly be bad?


Give him a couple of saucepans and some cutlery, and my brother the chef will make quick work out of both of them.  Yum yum!

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

I'm too trashed to try and make them march tonight. :D


LOL @ make them march

http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gifhttp://www.inthe00s.com/smile/07/nopity.gif

don't you love it when someone has to chime in on something you direct to one person?



oh wait.... i do that  ;D


Let's just say that stuff like that happened more than once with me on here.

I felt like they became a tag team(which is silly, since well... I didn't have a partner aiding me). :D

I'm not looking for attention and I'm aware of the immature/rude people on this board, which I won't mention...

The movie's a stupid made-for-DVD stink fest titled "Mega Octopus vs. Giant Shark"  (or something) that's out in May and would end up in the Sci Fi Channel around that time with other bad CGI creature flicks.  I know nobody would give a darn, but a few would...



Some people probably will enjoy it; others probably might have no desire to look at it whatsoever. Things like that don't interest me, so I will just say "Not interested" right now and leave it at that, with no further commentary. :-X

And constructive criticism is what it comes down to right?
But still, even if it is wrapped in a big red bow, people are going to perceive what they want to aren't they?





Right, Tam...you hit the nail on the head there.  I, for one, can't take that 'constructive criticism' unless it comes usually from a person that I do trust, and have known for some time.For one thing, I like so many others, have low self esteem, although it's somewhat better now. But, I got at first, very snarky and downright mean PMs telling me what I did wrong.  I was also attached by a roaming group of troublemakers that used to say I was whiny all over the board...even though they were all wrong, it affected me greatly. So what's the difference between being whiny all over the boards and just saying what's going on in your life? I tend not to say anything about myself... I did on one occasion. Now,  if I say anything that's wrong with me it is ignored, which to a person with low self esteem is saying ' You don't matter so we won't answer.'

Right, Tam...you hit the nail on the head there.  I, for one, can't take that 'constructive criticism' unless it comes usually from a person that I do trust, and have known for some time.For one thing, I like so many others, have low self esteem, although it's somewhat better now. But, I got at first, very snarky and downright mean PMs telling me what I did wrong.  I was also attached by a roaming group of troublemakers that used to say I was whiny all over the board...even though they were all wrong, it affected me greatly. So what's the difference between being whiny all over the boards and just saying what's going on in your life? I tend not to say anything about myself... I did on one occasion. Now,  if I say anything that's wrong with me it is ignored, which to a person with low self esteem is saying ' You don't matter so we won't answer.'


That's the thing of it right? We can be as constructive as we want to be, but the other person has to be receptive of it, or else it comes out as just being harsh and rude. But is it always constructive criticism or is it a defense mechanism?

Example: Jess (sorry Girl), Jess is very upfront. She tells it like it is, says exactly what she wants to say. I envy her of this talent. But, is this the 'complete' Jess? See, Jess reminds me of my sister. Tara is very straight forward, says what is on her mind whether those around her want to hear it or not. But with Tara it is a complete defense mechanism. She says those things in order to protect herself, so that if it feels like someone is getting too close, she can shut down their approach and she doesn't have to worry about the possibility of getting hurt. They will see her as harsh and rude and not want to get to know her, saving her the time and energy, and she won't have to let her "walls" down for someone new.

Here on the boards, we have no idea what the other person is really like or what they are going through unless they tell us. Some are open about that, and others are very private about it. Sometimes when the information is put out, others have no idea how to respond or how to deal with it, so their defense might be to make fun of it or be rude about it or not reply at all. Most times I don't reply because I feel that my insight might not be welcomed - so I shy away. It all depends on the person.

But personally, I don't think anyone here is intentionally rude or ignorant towards each other. We just don't know how to handle everything that is thrown at us, so we use whatever defense mechanisms we have at our disposal. It doesn't necessarily make it right, but if this place were an actual social setting, you would still see people doing and saying the same things. It is how we all protect ourselves I think.

But, that's just my opinion.

Tam 8)

That's the thing of it right? We can be as constructive as we want to be, but the other person has to be receptive of it, or else it comes out as just being harsh and rude. But is it always constructive criticism or is it a defense mechanism?

Example: Jess (sorry Girl), Jess is very upfront. She tells it like it is, says exactly what she wants to say. I envy her of this talent. But, is this the 'complete' Jess? See, Jess reminds me of my sister. Tara is very straight forward, says what is on her mind whether those around her want to hear it or not. But with Tara it is a complete defense mechanism. She says those things in order to protect herself, so that if it feels like someone is getting too close, she can shut down their approach and she doesn't have to worry about the possibility of getting hurt. They will see her as harsh and rude and not want to get to know her, saving her the time and energy, and she won't have to let her "walls" down for someone new.

Here on the boards, we have no idea what the other person is really like or what they are going through unless they tell us. Some are open about that, and others are very private about it. Sometimes when the information is put out, others have no idea how to respond or how to deal with it, so their defense might be to make fun of it or be rude about it or not reply at all. Most times I don't reply because I feel that my insight might not be welcomed - so I shy away. It all depends on the person.

But personally, I don't think anyone here is intentionally rude or ignorant towards each other. We just don't know how to handle everything that is thrown at us, so we use whatever defense mechanisms we have at our disposal. It doesn't necessarily make it right, but if this place were an actual social setting, you would still see people doing and saying the same things. It is how we all protect ourselves I think.

But, that's just my opinion.

Tam 8)


Your opinion makes a lot of sense, Tam. Who's to know if it is constructive criticism or a defense mechanism?  Perhaps the person does, but not always.  It has the same consequence, though.  Avoidance of that person.

It doesn't help that I have a social anxiety disorder....so I muddle through


Gads, you make too much sense...where have you been hiding this stuff? :o

Thanks for the heaping helping of wisdom.  :)

you know, sometime people send pms that were never meant to be mean and snarky but were taken that way because of the place the person who rec'd them were in.

I think sometimes a person sends a pm in an attempt to help the other member because of how they are being perceived by others. Its not the senders fault if the receiver reads something into the pm that was never there to begin with. 

That's the thing of it right? We can be as constructive as we want to be, but the other person has to be receptive of it, or else it comes out as just being harsh and rude. But is it always constructive criticism or is it a defense mechanism?

Example: Jess (sorry Girl), Jess is very upfront. She tells it like it is, says exactly what she wants to say. I envy her of this talent. But, is this the 'complete' Jess? See, Jess reminds me of my sister. Tara is very straight forward, says what is on her mind whether those around her want to hear it or not. But with Tara it is a complete defense mechanism. She says those things in order to protect herself, so that if it feels like someone is getting too close, she can shut down their approach and she doesn't have to worry about the possibility of getting hurt. They will see her as harsh and rude and not want to get to know her, saving her the time and energy, and she won't have to let her "walls" down for someone new.

Here on the boards, we have no idea what the other person is really like or what they are going through unless they tell us. Some are open about that, and others are very private about it. Sometimes when the information is put out, others have no idea how to respond or how to deal with it, so their defense might be to make fun of it or be rude about it or not reply at all. Most times I don't reply because I feel that my insight might not be welcomed - so I shy away. It all depends on the person.

But personally, I don't think anyone here is intentionally rude or ignorant towards each other. We just don't know how to handle everything that is thrown at us, so we use whatever defense mechanisms we have at our disposal. It doesn't necessarily make it right, but if this place were an actual social setting, you would still see people doing and saying the same things. It is how we all protect ourselves I think.

But, that's just my opinion.

Tam 8)

Nicely said, Tam. Sometimes when I see someone respond to one of my posts in a certain way, I don't always know how to react at first. But now that you mention this, I will take these ideas into consideration next time I see such a thing. It just might be a matter of defense mechanisms; who knows?

I find it odd that nobody makes fun of my interest in hair metal.  ::)

I find it odd that nobody makes fun of my interest in hair metal.   ::)


OMG!!!!!  Woops likes hair metal!!!1111  You're totally lame!!!!

Feel better now? ::)

why would anyone want metal hair? I mean it seems quite cumbersome.......



.....and heavy!

Feel better

Though I rarely get ridiculed over my musical tastes outside this board, though I pretty much keep most of my tastes private besides the songs and artists that are respected by the media. (BTW, I don't wear a Winger shirt  :D )

I find it odd that nobody makes fun of my interest in hair metal.   ::)


Um, probably one or more of the following reasons:

1) There's no reason to make fun of you for your interest in hair metal

2) They, too, like hair metal, even though they may not have posted about it on the board

3) They'd rather spend their time doing something else than making fun of your interest in hair metal.


My reasons are #1 and somewhat #2.  I like some hair metal but not a huge fan.  I will watch Metal Mania on VH1Classic from time to time. O0

Do you WANT to be made fun of, Woops? I don't understand. ???

Do you WANT to be made fun of, Woops? I don't understand. ???


There are two words that come to mind about woops:


http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o283/Nerdprincess1980/LOLcats/AttentionWhore2.jpg

I only post whaever's on my mind.

I actually locked this thread since I'm tired of stupid/ignorant posts.

It may appear to make myself a coward, but it's the only way to do without making this into a  dumb flame.

I only post whaever's on my mind.

And we're not allowed to.....why?

I actually locked this thread since I'm tired of stupid/ignorant posts.

Nice.  Real nice.  No one has even talked about you for the longest time until you dredged this post up again after three weeks to complain that no one had made fun of you for your hair metal preference.  Then you lock the thread after calling our posts "stupid/ignorant".

It may appear to make myself a coward, but it's the only way to do without making this into a  dumb flame.

No, I think that's what you were HOPING would happen.  I posted the "attention whore" picture because that's what *I* was thinking at the time...and I think my assessment still stands.

Good day, sir.

I find it odd that nobody makes fun of my interest in hair metal.   ::)




It may appear to make myself a coward, but it's the only way to do without making this into a  dumb flame.




Perhaps then you shouldn't have made the initial post?
When you post something like that woops.... you should expect to get something in return.

I find it odd that nobody makes fun of my interest in hair metal.  ::)
You want people to quote on your barrette collection?????????

I am not sure if you are asking for bullying or not?  Can one be bullied if they ask to be bullied???

You want people to quote on your barrette collection?????????

I am not sure if you are asking for bullying or not?  Can one be bullied if they ask to be bullied???



hee hee... barrettes! I forgot those came in metal.  ;D


oh and excellent point.

That was a rhetorical question/comment about the irony on how I  would get ridiculed for being into a certain pop singer, but not my other musical tastes, which most people don't  look fondly towards hair metal.

I think the difference is your attitude towards them.

Generally people are not ridiculed here for their musical taste however weird it is.  However the impression I have is that you think Debbie/Deborah Gibson was the most wonderful singer, who was massively under-rated and she is going to make this huge come-back and we're all wrong for not appreciating how wonderful she is etc etc.  This type of attitude about any subject means that some people will poke fun.  Plus you fire up instantly at any suggestion that Deborah isn't the bees knees.  You have become an easy target on this topic.

However on hair metal you seem as sane as the next guy so there is no reason to try and get a rise out of you.

That was a rhetorical question/comment about the irony on how I  would get ridiculed for being into a certain pop singer, but not my other musical tastes, which most people don't  look fondly towards hair metal.


perhaps next time you might want to consider posting your rhetorical comments in a thread that isn't about you being bullied for you taste....or

if you had said way back when you started this thread that its funny that I get picked on for one thing not the other....


personally I think doing it the way you did you were fishing and got the reaction you were looking for.

I'll admit that I take her music too seriously, though my main intentions was to promote her later material and to show others that she's more than an '80's pop princess, that her music is more adult contemporary, and YouTube links/interviews/articles.  Also at the time there was rumors of an album (also whatever songs she have done like the "Say Goodbye" duet with Jordin Knight or whatever she recorded at the time). 

Plus, I'm not even a fan of Deborah Gibson's musical theatre work, though I enjoyed some songs from her "Colored Lights" album. Also as ofthe past year, I've never stated that she'll have a major comeback and more likely a moderate comeback since I'm aware that most former teen idols have a chance and also the current trends in music. I've posted comments about it and also anaylized New Kids and other comebacks on a thread at a fan board.


edited: deleted link.

Warning: a few of the comments may offend, but take noticed that it was written about a year ago. Mainly,  the topics are about the newly revamped official site and YouTube.



that's what I wrote on the fan board: 
Deborah stuff => All things Deborah => Topic started by: Woops on January 05, 2008, 03:46:14 AM


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title: Do you think Deb will ever have a mainstream comeback?
Post by: Woops on January 05, 2008, 03:46:14 AM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Since it's been over 20 years, Deb definately deserves her long awaited comeback. Especially with so much junk in the radio today and that the music industry is now a vast cesspool for over a decade.

I know she'll never be as popular like she was during her 'electric youth', but a moderate hit could happen. Her "Think With Your Heart" album could've sank Celine Dion off the charts and "MYOB" could've given her another top 10 if radio have given her a chance and given the right promotion.

She had a moderate hit in 2006 with Jordan Knight on the duet "Say Goodbye" that peaked at #23 at the Billboard Adult Contemorary Charts. Though only little radio airplay and a very  few tv appearances.

Something like Shaggy's comeback  or Kylie's US comeback a few years ago would've been better with more song airplay and given more tv appearance like "SNL" & "Tonight Show". Not to mention award nominations (ie Grammy, American Music Awards).


Also,  I wonder if peoples' (ie music snobs, public)  perspective of Deb could change?

Bon Jovi was once the butt of jokes in the 1990's, pegged with the '80's hair metal scene and now taken seriously as an artist. So why not Deborah Gibson? She's more than an '80's pop princess.
Though unfortunately, I doubt it.



I'm tired of reading ignorant, rude, immature comments about Deb. Especially from those with very little or no knowledge about her.

And she's nowhere near a "hasbeen" since she's now a successful stage actress. Since Matthew Broderick mostly does theatre and the only movie I can think of is "Ferris Bueller" would that make him a hasbeen? I think not. (BTW, I'm indifferent towards him and just trying to prove a point) Heck, there's tons of celebs now that are famous for the sake of being famous and more focused on partying than acting and/or singing.



As for changing her name from 'Debbie' to 'Deborah', she never liked the name "Debbie" as a teen and always preferred to be called by her full name 'Deborah'. Not to distant herself from the past.

Funny how people act as Mark Wahlburg was never "Marky Mark".  ::)

I'll admit that I sounded like a jerk on a few comments, but that's what was on my mind at the time.

I'll admit that I sounded like a jerk on a few comments, but that's what was on my mind at the time.




you're totally entitled to your opinion just like others are entitled to theirs it just seemed odd to me that you would start this thread because of how you felt you'd been treated in the past and then willingly open yourself to more of the same....

I pretty much mentioned a few things about myself on the first page, which I rather not talk about it since I rarely speak about my personal life on the internet  since I'm aware of the dangers (ie sickos, spammers, etc) and don't like to talk to people I don't know besides opinions about music and/or film.

I think the difference is your attitude towards them.

Generally people are not ridiculed here for their musical taste however weird it is.  However the impression I have is that you think Debbie/Deborah Gibson was the most wonderful singer, who was massively under-rated and she is going to make this huge come-back and we're all wrong for not appreciating how wonderful she is etc etc.  This type of attitude about any subject means that some people will poke fun.  Plus you fire up instantly at any suggestion that Deborah isn't the bees knees.  You have become an easy target on this topic.



I agree.  I'd also like to add that early on, I really don't think that woops was ridiculed for being a fan of Deborah Gibson (I still dig her), but moreso that a reference to her was dropped in many threads woops posted in that had no relevance to the topic at hand.  It became quite annoying for some.

I agree.  I'd also like to add that early on, I really don't think that woops was ridiculed for being a fan of Deborah Gibson (I still dig her), but moreso that a reference to her was dropped in many threads woops posted in that had no relevance to the topic at hand.  It became quite annoying for some.


Good point

I think the difference is your attitude towards them.

Generally people are not ridiculed here for their musical taste however weird it is.  However the impression I have is that you think Debbie/Deborah Gibson was the most wonderful singer, who was massively under-rated and she is going to make this huge come-back and we're all wrong for not appreciating how wonderful she is etc etc.  This type of attitude about any subject means that some people will poke fun.  Plus you fire up instantly at any suggestion that Deborah isn't the bees knees.  You have become an easy target on this topic.

However on hair metal you seem as sane as the next guy so there is no reason to try and get a rise out of you.


You know, as much as I usually disagree with Karen, I think you're right on about this. :)

Dude, just a word of advice - try to take constructive criticism without getting antsy, don't be so predictable, and also...be a little less uptight and have a sense of humor about things.

Whenever something upsets me or makes me feel alienated, I usually try to do that (i.e. if I'm in a group of people who aren't as old-school as I am, or don't like '80s music, etc). That stuff used to annoy me because it made me feel kinda left out, but now I just joke about it and that usually lightens the mood and makes ME feel better too.

And I'll come out and directly ask you - how come you sidestep certain points people make when they're just asking you a question or you get defensive? I SWEAR i'm not picking on you, I'm just seriously curious. I think that's why people make fun of you, and sometimes they've gotten overboard (myself included too) which is uncalled for. I apologize for that, but again I think it's your attitude and style they're talking about....not you personally.

You know, as much as I usually disagree with Karen, I think you're right on about this. :)

Dude, just a word of advice - try to take constructive criticism without getting antsy, don't be so predictable, and also...be a little less uptight and have a sense of humor about things.

Whenever something upsets me or makes me feel alienated, I usually try to do that (i.e. if I'm in a group of people who aren't as old-school as I am, or don't like '80s music, etc). That stuff used to annoy me because it made me feel kinda left out, but now I just joke about it and that usually lightens the mood and makes ME feel better too.

And I'll come out and directly ask you - how come you sidestep certain points people make when they're just asking you a question or you get defensive? I SWEAR i'm not picking on you, I'm just seriously curious. I think that's why people make fun of you, and sometimes they've gotten overboard (myself included too) which is uncalled for. I apologize for that, but again I think it's your attitude and style they're talking about....not you personally.


This is a perfect example woops.
McFly here has learned so much in the last few months on the boards.... he knows what he is talking about. I am surprised as the next person who reads what he has to say. Seriously, Jesse used to be an easy target - now he completely holds his own. I like to think that our little forum, whether we took the right way or the wrong way, helped in a way to get Jesse to certain points. (Of course, other people and he himself helped too.)

Karma +1 Jesse.

^ Thanks Tam :)  Karma back - and you're right, I do think I've kinda grown up or started to in the past year, even couple months with this type of thing.


To play devil's advocate - I think the root of why woops acts the way he does, might be because he feels left out or alienated if people don't like or make fun of the things he does. In fairness I've been there (it's a good feeling to fit in or have people share things with you), so I do understand...but I've also started to find out if you're more easygoing and don't take it too seriously, you'll feel better. Sure, some people can be jerks or take it too far (and that can hurt), but the best thing is to try to focus on the positives.

Perfect example...

Like I said, I have things I'm really into which I know not everyone is - Full House, Unsolved Mysteries, 80s music, Paula Abdul, NES games, 90s sitcoms and talk shows, pop culture history...but instead of being mad at people who aren't into it, I'll be happy about people who are. And if someone rips on it, I'll just laugh back and joke about how "Yeah I know I'm kinda embarrased and it's cheesy but I like it lol".

^Like I said, I have things I'm really into which I know not everyone is - Full House, Unsolved Mysteries, 80s music, Paula Abdul, NES games, 90s sitcoms and talk shows, pop culture history...but instead of being mad at people who aren't into it, I'll be happy about people who are. And if someone rips on it, I'll just laugh back and joke about how "Yeah I know I'm kinda embarrased and it's cheesy but I like it lol".


I totally agree.

You have to just be who you are.  It is so much cooler to just like what you like, and not worry what other people think than it is to be upset if people make fun of the things you care about.  It's like me and my pigs and my singing and dancing around all the time.  I know people think I'm a huge nerd and weirdo, but I don't care.  It's who I am.  And if people judge me for that, than they probably aren't people that I'd want to be bothered with anyway.     

So Woops - if you love Debbie Gibson, then dammit, just love her.  Who freaking cares what anybody else thinks?

I totally agree.

You have to just be who you are.  It is so much cooler to just like what you like, and not worry what other people think than it is to be upset if people make fun of the things you care about.  It's like me and my pigs and my singing and dancing around all the time.  I know people think I'm a huge nerd and weirdo, but I don't care.  It's who I am.  And if people judge me for that, than they probably aren't people that I'd want to be bothered with anyway.     

So Woops - if you love Debbie Gibson, then dammit, just love her.  Who freaking cares what anybody else thinks?



I don't know I see you more as a nerdo!  ;)

I don't know I see you more as a nerdo!  ;)


:-*

As of my being defensive, those are just statements/replies on comments about the artist (ie she's no longer "teen-pop" and such). Also I feel that nobody actually fully read my threads since most people probably look at me as some Chris Crocker-type idiot and just shrugs when they glance upon the name of the artist, which is why I rarely mention her name.  It's more like I've said in previous posts (ie song links/info and trying to get people interested) rather than "Yeah _____ rawks!!!! She's da bomb!!!!! Whoooooo Oh, Yeh!!!!!!! "____________" is the best song evah!"

Though I post on a fanboard, I feel as if I'm the only person that listens to her music. Most people my age that are into older music are into classic rock or alternative and most of the people around my age I know are into current pop, hip hop, and R&B. BTW, I actually like some artists/songs of this decade and some old school alternative and classic rock. (mainly greatest hits variety that MTV, VH1, and radio played constantly and I even learn new songs from watching VH1 Classic, which I recently got, and reading messageboards).



I actually thought about posting on Toon Zone (for my animation interest), but didn't since the majority appear to be fanatics of Cartoon Network & anime and also strict rules. Also there was a heated argument from modern/current animation buffs and vintage/theatrical animation buffs that caused "Golden Age of Cartoons" forum to separate from Toon Zone several years ago.
Though interesting and informative forums to read.



I'm pretty much in between and I'm not much of an animation geek myself since I first gotten into them for nostalgia and also interest since I've never seen un-cut and banned Looney Tunes and more obscure stuff like Oswald Rabbit. Especially that I grew up in the tail end of the decade where Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, & ABC's "Bugs Bunny & Tweety Show" would show edited cartoons and didn't get cable until the mid 1990's (though I've seen cable television in other places. Mainly in the recovering room during the work for my cleft pallet. All I'll mention, though I refer it as a 'slight deformity' since it's only in the mouth. Though I've also been a victim of racial discrimintation and been a social outsider during my childhood/teen years since I was constantly bullied and never had real friends. There, something about myself though I'm wary about posting in public since I don't want people to get the wrong misconception like me being a recluse or whatever)



I mainly post things online about stuff I wouldn't normally talk to with friends (a few, they are still friends and some aquaintances) for reasons mentioned.

I totally agree.

You have to just be who you are.  It is so much cooler to just like what you like, and not worry what other people think than it is to be upset if people make fun of the things you care about.  It's like me and my pigs and my singing and dancing around all the time.  I know people think I'm a huge nerd and weirdo, but I don't care.  It's who I am.  And if people judge me for that, than they probably aren't people that I'd want to be bothered with anyway.     

So Woops - if you love Debbie Gibson, then dammit, just love her.  Who freaking cares what anybody else thinks?



Hahaha....Ash sings and dances around al the time......what a nerdo and weirdo!  ;D

Hahaha....Ash sings and dances around al the time......what a nerdo and weirdo!  ;D


Not so weird. IMO.  I do it too. ;D

OK...  nobody replied.

That wasn't a rethorical post or some stupid "attention getting" comment.

I knew this thread was a bad idea...   ::)


Let's forget about this and actually locking this thing this will turn into a major flame war.

(Seriously)

As requested this thread is now locked.
Please refrain from it spilling into other threads.

Thanks
Tam 8)