Hey Cat hope you don't mind... I'm starting that tread for you....


I will be pulling related  posts from the how you doing in November but editing accordingly.

Hope that's okay with everyone.


FROM CAT:


I am sad, numb, & in shock.

My oldest sister passed away.  :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(

No one knows what happened. There was something wrong with her for a long time and the docs didn't know what it was.




Cat

That really sucks :(  Best wishes to you and yours.

i'm so sorry, cat. my heart goes out to you.





Oh, honey, I'm so sorry to hear this.  You have my thoughts and prayers. :\'(





I'm sorry to hear about your loss, Cat. :(  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.





Cat

So sorry to hear this.  You are in my thoughts.






My condolences to you, Cat.






Oh no!  I'm so sorry, Cat. *hugs*

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.





Oh Jeez, so sorry to hear it.  :\'( :\'(

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Reality still hasn't really sunk in yet but the tears have been flowing all morning. (My mother woke me up with a phone call this morning). The irony of it is that when I checked email, there was a forward from her called "The Golden Years"-the last email I will EVER get from her. She was only 54.  :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat





So sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you.





Oh my, I am so, so sorry to hear your news. {{{{Hugs}}}} as I can't do it in person.





I'm so sorry Cat,my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.






CAT!

I am so sorry.  :\'(

my heart goes out to you and your sisters!

wish I could be there to give you a hug. 


Q





I'm very sorry for your loss.

I just found out that my sister had a form of Lupus. I knew she had Shojren's which means her body did not produce liquids (saliva, tears, etc) and she was always drinking something. But I didn't know that was related or a form of Lupus. Stupid me should have done some research on it.

When I saw her this summer, her face was very puffy. Everyone mentioned about it-including her. She didn't know why and went to the doc to see why. They didn't have any answers for her. For those of you who saw the photos, you can see that her face was very puffy-and apparently it was still that way.

I talked to both my parents today-twice as well as two of my other sisters. (Haven't talked to 1 sister & my brother). I am worried about my sister's twin daughters. They are both in college now and I'm not too sure what they are going to do. I may be taking another trip out to Tulsa soon-don't know yet.

I am still numb and in shock. It just seems like a bad dream that I hope to wake up from. Yeah, reality hasn't set in yet. I plan on getting drunk tonight and when I told my mother that, she said, "That sounds like a good idea." My mother RARELY drinks.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I can't tell you how much that means to me.


Cat






My condolences to you and your family Cat. My thoughts and prayers are with you through this sad time ahead.





dear Cat...I'm so sorry. please accept my sympathy and thoughts. 






Sorry for your loss,my prayers go out to you. :(

Cat, it' is hard to go through pain and sorry, when you lose someone  you'll miss forever.

The only way to hardly  relieve the pain is thinking they don't gonna hurt anymore as they've hurted so far.
And they will live in our minds up to the very day we follow them.
That's how I think of all the souls I've lost, my fathers among them.
They live deep in my heart.

I give you a thought of mercy to hold you up.

Francisco or Paco for short. ;)


Ain't it hard
when you wake up
in the morning
And you find out
that those other days
are gone?
All you have
is memories of happiness
Lingerin' on.


You might wonder
who can I turn to
On this cold
and chilly night of gloom
The answer to that question
Is nowhere in this room.

All your dreams
and your lovers
won't protect you,
They're only passing
through you in the end.
They'll leave
you stripped of all
that they can get to,
And wait for you
to come back again.

Yet still a light is shining
From that lamp on down the hall.
Maybe the star of Bethlehem
Wasn't a star at all.

NEIL YOUNG  - "Star Of Bethlehem"




LADYBUG REPLYING TO ^

That was beautiful.  Thanks for sharing it.

good looking out Q.  There are so many people here who care about Cat and want to extend sympathy and lend support. 
hang in there Cat

Oh, wow, how incredibly sad! My thoughts are with you, Cat.  :\'(  :\'(  :\'(






Thanks everyone, for your PMs, kind words and thoughts. I'm still numb today. It just seems like a bad dream I had. Yeah, reality hasn't sunk in yet. I'm TRYING not to think about it-but of course that doesn't work. My mind always goes back to her. As I have told a few people, I have this mental image of a family portrait and there is a blank spot where she should be.


TO PACO:
Thank you so much.



Cat






My condolences to you in this time of need Cat.  I  am so sorry , this late in coming, I just now got on the board and really had time to look at much.  Thoughts and prayers to you and yours.
Cynthia

My step-son is coming over. I haven't told him yet.



Cat



Make sure that he is sitting down when you tell him.



I'm just now reading this. I'm so sorry to hear about it...my deepest prayers go out to you





Carlos told him. The thing is, he never met that sister (he met the rest of them at our wedding). Just like his father, my step-son is such a wonderful person.



Cat





Cat, I am so sorry to hear, our toughts are with you.






I have just been catching up on 30 or so pages of posts, so I apologize that some of these replies are REALLY delinquent!

Cat, oh honey, I'm so sorry about about your sis.  How young she was.  Please, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.  <<hugs>>

For anyone who wants to know:

My dad & one of my sisters are going out to Tulsa to be with my sister who is still there and my nieces. Carlos & I thought about it but were afraid that we would be in the way more than anything thing.

My dad always goes out there for Thanksgiving but since my grandmother isn't there, he wasn't going to but my sister begged him to go-and now she isn't there.  :\'( :\'(  But I know my dad can do some good. He is going to talk to the lawyer who is taking care of Grandma's estate and inquire about how to deal with my sister's since we are not too sure she even had a will.

As for our part, Carlos & I are going to my mother's for Thanksgiving. It is not something that we really want to do, but we both feel that we should be there for my mother. I am really not too sure how she is handling this. She seems ok, but...

I had a request from my sister-the one who will be on her way to Tulsa for a link to this thread. She thinks that I probably should have created a thread just for it because everything will get lost in all the chatter. She is right but I didn't for fear of seeking attention. So if she gets a chance, she is going to see what all you wonderful people had to say.

How am I doing? Good question. I am still numb. Reality hasn't hit yet. One moment I'm fine and then something will be said or I will think of something and I start crying all over again. I have been in contact with several family members. We are all trying to be there for each other. I also have a wonderful sounding board here-which I'm sure most of you can guess who it is. That has been helping me-A LOT!!! And of course my wonderful husband. He has been my "pillar". I don't know what I would do without him.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate all your thoughts and kind words. Thanks.



Cat





I think a thread is a good idea. I say go for it  8)

I hope I got them all... Cat I hope your sister will find comfort in the words of your friends.

Great Job Q!
Cat - I have spoke to you in pm. My love, thoughts and prayers are with you my friend.

Karen posted this for her mother earlier in the year. I read it and had to keep it in remembrance of my Aunt.
I give it to you now Cat, for understanding.


Death is nothing at all

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you,
whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone,
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow,
laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Pray smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort,
without the trace of a shadow in it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
it is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity,
why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you
somewhere very near
just around the corner.
All is well.


Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918
Canon of St Paul's Cathedral

Wow that's terrible. Sorry for your loss.  :(

MAn, that is sad news about your sister.  Losing a family member is never an easy thing to deal with it.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers

My heart goes out to you and your family Cat.  Losing a sister is one of the hardest thing a person goes through.

I only read about your loss this morning. Can't tell you how sorry I am. :\'( Hang on in there - you & Carlos.

Of course you're in my thoughts and prayers.

My sincere condolences  :(

My condolences to you Cat,feel better. :)

There are people who we go on thinking are not supposed to die.  We come to the realization of our parents, but with our siblings, well, it is just not supposed to happen.  :\'(

Very nice thread Snoz.
Cat know we all love you and are here for you in your time of need.

Cat, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister.  My thoughts are with you, and I'm sending lots of hugs your way. 

Thank you, one & all-especially thank you, Snoz. I can't tell you how much this means to me.

It has been very difficult-and I am amaze how my family is coming together to get through this. I just wish that we came together BEFORE-but we were starting to. With all our issues we have with each, most of us realize that they really don't matter-at least not right now.

And one more favor, please give a shout out to Dawg. Some of you may know that Dawg is my sister. Who knows when she will get to see this since as I am writing this, she is probably sitting on plane to go out to Tulsa to try to help with everything.

So Dawg if/when you read this, I hope you know that I love you very much.



Cat

I can do that... and sorry I didn't think of it myself.


Dawg, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and everyone in your family. 

Feel Better Cat I know how it feels to lose someone. :(

Feel Better Cat I know how it feels to lose someone. :(



I know you do, Howard.

I'm sure I will feel better but I just don't know when.



Cat

I know you do, Howard.

I'm sure I will feel better but I just don't know when.



Cat



It will take some time to heal.

Just noticed this thread, Cat. I think I suck on this sympathy thing ... expressing ... but, I hope you feel better soon.

Sorry for your loss.

Dawg,

Of course you are included in our thoughts and prayers.  I hope you are able to find comfort and solace in your family.

We're all here for you and Cat, as well.

Dawg, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and everyone in your family. 




Dawg,

Of course you are included in our thoughts and prayers.  I hope you are able to find comfort and solace in your family.

We're all here for you and Cat, as well.


Yeah, what they said...We're here for you too, Dawg.

I'm so sorry for your loss Cat (and Dawg).  And I apologize in my lateness as well, just now having read the news.  (Thanks Snoz for corralling it all here.)

I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through.  I don't even have words to help, although I truly wish that anything I say could give you any bit of comfort. 


I found this poem online and while it isn't quite, exactly right in it's wording, it's pretty close and I hope it allows some sort of comfort to you.

The Love Of A Sister
by Begary
If love could change the way things are
you would live forever and go so far
You'd know that I am always there
That I'll always love you, I'll always care

But love can't change the way things are
Or stop your pain or mend your scars
I hope that love can let you know
Not to give up or ever let go

Even when you're not in sight
You're in my thoughts day and night
Love is what will keep you there
And make me thankful for all we share

Thank you everyone. I can't tell you how much all of your support means to me.



I'm so sorry for your loss Cat (and Dawg).  And I apologize in my lateness as well, just now having read the news.  (Thanks Snoz for corralling it all here.)

I can't even imagine the pain you must be going through.  I don't even have words to help, although I truly wish that anything I say could give you any bit of comfort. 


I found this poem online and while it isn't quite, exactly right in it's wording, it's pretty close and I hope it allows some sort of comfort to you.

The Love Of A Sister
by Begary
If love could change the way things are
you would live forever and go so far
You'd know that I am always there
That I'll always love you, I'll always care

But love can't change the way things are
Or stop your pain or mend your scars
I hope that love can let you know
Not to give up or ever let go

Even when you're not in sight
You're in my thoughts day and night
Love is what will keep you there
And make me thankful for all we share



That is beautiful. Thank you.



Cat

My heart and condolences go out to you and Dawg.  :\'(

Ant

It has been a week now. I feel like today truly is "Black Friday".  :\'( :\'( :\'(

I really don't know what is going on. I haven't heard from Tulsa since "Dawg" or my dad went out there (but I have tried to call). I have talked to my sister who is still in Conn. and yesterday went to my mother's. Haven't heard ANYTHING from/about my brother.

Yes, I am really having a really hard time with this.

The tears still keep coming.  :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat

It has been a week now. I feel like today truly is "Black Friday".  :\'( :\'( :\'(

I really don't know what is going on. I haven't heard from Tulsa since "Dawg" or my dad went out there (but I have tried to call). I have talked to my sister who is still in Conn. and yesterday went to my mother's. Haven't heard ANYTHING from/about my brother.

Yes, I am really having a really hard time with this.

The tears still keep coming.  :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

It has been a week now. I feel like today truly is "Black Friday".  :\'( :\'( :\'(

I really don't know what is going on. I haven't heard from Tulsa since "Dawg" or my dad went out there (but I have tried to call). I have talked to my sister who is still in Conn. and yesterday went to my mother's. Haven't heard ANYTHING from/about my brother.

Yes, I am really having a really hard time with this.

The tears still keep coming.  :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat


hugs to you Cat. :)

Ohhh :(

I have been away from here for a couple of weeks so have only just seens this thread.

Cat and Dawg my sincere condolences to you both.

Sending big {{{{HUGS}}}} across the world to you and you are both in my thoughts.

xxx BMG

It has been a week now. I feel like today truly is "Black Friday".  :\'( :\'( :\'(

I really don't know what is going on. I haven't heard from Tulsa since "Dawg" or my dad went out there (but I have tried to call). I have talked to my sister who is still in Conn. and yesterday went to my mother's. Haven't heard ANYTHING from/about my brother.

Yes, I am really having a really hard time with this.

The tears still keep coming.  :\'( :\'( :\'(



Cat


I can't imagine how hard this is, the not hearing.  ((((( hugs))))

Thanks everyone.

I did hear from Tulsa yesterday. They are so busy taking care of things. I feel guilty not being able to help. I'm starting to think that maybe I should take a trip out there.



Cat

Hello Cat,

I am a little late to find out about this, but I wish you all my best during this time in your life. I have also have had to deal with some people passing on this year in which it was totally unexpected and it's very painful and mindboggling. Your sisters love and spirit will now live through her daughters.

All my best wishes,

Sincerely,
Kristen

Hello Cat,

I am a little late to find out about this, but I wish you all my best during this time in your life. I have also have had to deal with some people passing on this year in which it was totally unexpected and it's very painful and mindboggling. Your sisters love and spirit will now live through her daughters.

All my best wishes,

Sincerely,
Kristen



Thanks so much. It still doesn't seem real but we (in terms of my family) are dealing with it.


Cat

After all this time we FINALLY got a cause of death-streptococcal pneumonia sepsis. I talked to my dad last night. He is so mad at her for not taking care of herself and not taking care of her girls. It still seems unreal and I still find myself crying when I least expect it. And yeah, this has hit me REALLY hard-and I really hate to say it that I wasn't really that close to her-but she was IS my sister.




Cat

After all this time we FINALLY got a cause of death-streptococcal pneumonia sepsis. I talked to my dad last night. He is so mad at her for not taking care of herself and not taking care of her girls. It still seems unreal and I still find myself crying when I least expect it. And yeah, this has hit me REALLY hard-and I really hate to say it that I wasn't really that close to her-but she was IS my sister.




Cat


sorry Cat

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii209/richyesp/hug.jpg

sorry Cat

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii209/richyesp/hug.jpg



That kitten is SOOOOOOO cute.



Cat

After all this time we FINALLY got a cause of death-streptococcal pneumonia sepsis. I talked to my dad last night. He is so mad at her for not taking care of herself and not taking care of her girls. It still seems unreal and I still find myself crying when I least expect it. And yeah, this has hit me REALLY hard-and I really hate to say it that I wasn't really that close to her-but she was IS my sister.




Cat


Oh, that is terrible. :\'(

{{{HUGS}}}

That kitten is SOOOOOOO cute.



Cat


I know I picked it just for you! I wanted to help....

After all this time we FINALLY got a cause of death-streptococcal pneumonia sepsis. I talked to my dad last night. He is so mad at her for not taking care of herself and not taking care of her girls. It still seems unreal and I still find myself crying when I least expect it. And yeah, this has hit me REALLY hard-and I really hate to say it that I wasn't really that close to her-but she was IS my sister.




Cat



{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

After all this time we FINALLY got a cause of death-streptococcal pneumonia sepsis. I talked to my dad last night. He is so mad at her for not taking care of herself and not taking care of her girls. It still seems unreal and I still find myself crying when I least expect it. And yeah, this has hit me REALLY hard-and I really hate to say it that I wasn't really that close to her-but she was IS my sister.




Cat


I'm so sorry.

{{{Hugs}}}

I haven't said anything here up to now, burt what I think is that Sue died from poor/lack of medical attention and it makes me madder than hell.

I haven't said anything here up to now, burt what I think is that Sue died from poor/lack of medical attention and it makes me madder than hell.



That is part of it-especially when her daughter asked about going to the hospital and she said that she couldn't afford to. And the fact that they couldn't figure out why she was swelling up for months before. Yes, it makes me angry too. But she also needed to take care of herself, too. In fact, she went to school that day (for those of you who do not know she was a teacher) when she should have gone to the hospital-and came home with a super high fever.



Cat

That is part of it-especially when her daughter asked about going to the hospital and she said that she couldn't afford to. And the fact that they couldn't figure out why she was swelling up for months before. Yes, it makes me angry too. But she also needed to take care of herself, too. In fact, she went to school that day (for those of you who do not know she was a teacher) when she should have gone to the hospital-and came home with a super high fever.



Cat
I am sooooo sorry Cat... I want to do something, what can I do - know that I am thinking of you.  Please learn something from this, and make sure you take care of you and yours (which I know you take care of yours - but make sure you are taken care of too!!!)

It sucks that we don't have better health care in this country!  >:(

Hugs from me too, Cat.

As you know, it takes time to process the grief.

When my brother-in-law Jay died of cancer last May, some family member speculated on whether he could have gotten it diagnosed earlier, or whether his job as a soundman working in smoke-filled clubs for decades caused it, or was it stress-related...no matter what, Jay still died and we were at once shocked, sad, and angry.  Support from others does help, but sometimes I felt all alone with it and just letting the feelings run their course.
:\'(

Hugs from me too, Cat.

As you know, it takes time to process the grief.

When my brother-in-law Jay died of cancer last May, some family member speculated on whether he could have gotten it diagnosed earlier, or whether his job as a soundman working in smoke-filled clubs for decades caused it, or was it stress-related...no matter what, Jay still died and we were at once shocked, sad, and angry.  Support from others does help, but sometimes I felt all alone with it and just letting the feelings run their course.
:\'(



I am sorry about your BIL. Grief is a very strange creature. You never how it is going to manifest itself.




Cat

Today is the one-year mark.  :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(  I don't think I'm going to get through this day without crying. The tears are VERY close to the surface and I have been feeling they they are going to start at any moment.



Cat

Today is the one-year mark.  :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(  I don't think I'm going to get through this day without crying. The tears are VERY close to the surface and I have been feeling they they are going to start at any moment.



Cat



Major{{{{{{{{{ hugs}}}}}}}}} my friend!  :\'( :\'( :\'(

Today is the one-year mark.  :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(  I don't think I'm going to get through this day without crying. The tears are VERY close to the surface and I have been feeling they they are going to start at any moment.



Cat
Sending thoughts of inner peace!  Remember, tears are not a bad thing - they show you are a caring, loving individual who is remembering someone special!

http://www.wcrf-uk.org/images/photos/various/candle_of_hope.jpg

Thanks, guys. I can't tell you how much that means to me.




Cat

Sending love your way :)

Thanks, guys. I can't tell you how much that means to me.




Cat
we love you!

we love you!



Awww, thanks. I can't tell you how much I love all of you.



Cat

Today is the one-year mark.  :\'( :\'( :\'( :\'(  I don't think I'm going to get through this day without crying. The tears are VERY close to the surface and I have been feeling they they are going to start at any moment.


I've been lucky; I've only lost one loved one to it so far.

User Friendly just concluded a two-month story arc about cancer, featuring a character who's been part of the comic for at least 10 years.  Not often that you can hit that button and be simultaneously tasteful and funny.  Iliad's been doing it for as long as I can remember.

May I suggest meditation upon the following koan: It's not true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't understand it until it makes you weep / It's not true until it makes you weep, but you don't understand it until it makes you laugh.