how far is too far with being bullied or being a bully? when do people know when to quit or ever quit.  Have you ever been a bully or have been bullied and if you were a bully do you think about it and laugh or do you wish you have never done it...and if you were bullied what effects did it have on you?


The only reason I am starting a topic like this is because I was watching the show House last night.  It was about a little girl who was morbidly obese and had gotten made fun of so much for it and had no friends and then took diet pills that she got somewhere and got really sick to where she almost died....it brought back a lot of memories when I was bullied by almost everyone and it didnt stop until sophmor year.  because I had been physically, sexually, and mentally abused by other student (not just males) I have beecome a very hateful and resentful person not trusting hardly anyone and not even my boyfriend sometimes.  So how far is to far of bullying and what do you think we can do to cut it down some

another reason I am writing a topic like this is because the show brought up also what effects it can have on children and brought up something I have heard from a woman who came to talk to us about suicide prevention,I have heard that a 6 year old had commited suicide one of the youngest numbers ever that suicde prevention had seen...a 6 year old for crying out loud...why a 6-year old?  how can we help our children or ourselves? a teenager age 15 committed suicide because she was teased so bad.  In third grade I was thinking about it and in 5th....so what do you think is too far?

Note: Many questions here answer ones that appeal to you...and do not start telling people on here they deserved it or whatever

My oldest daughter was bullied since the day she started school. still is to some extent -not as much as before though.

Her school has a 0 tolerence about fighting policy, but not on bulling. She didn't want to fight because she would have been the one to get in trouble. I called the school many times, that only made it worse. Finally in jr. high, she started fighting back-I had many calls from the school telling me that my daughter was picking on other kids. I basically told them where to shove it because I was the one who told her to fight back because her going to the teachers and me calling the teachers in the past didn't work.

In grade 8, another student told her to kill herself, that she was too fat and ugly and didn't deserve to live.  When I called the school, the principal told me that the other student had every right to tell her that because my daughter was a trouble-maker.

My question to him was, "What could a 14 year old do or say that would make onyone tell her that she doesn't deserve to live." I taped this conversation, and that man no longer has a job in the school system at any level.

Today my daughter is a somewhat happy 16 year old, she may still get picked on once in awhile, but she no longer puts up with it. She doesn't fight her way out, she usually gets sarcastic with them.  If that doesn't work, she lets them know that she has karate training, and if they lay a hand on her, she would use it in self-defense, she has never had to use it.

Well, I was only taunted in middle school, when I moved to CA from NY.. people always made fun of my accent...  and when I complained about it to school officials, they told me to ignore it and it would stop.  (Yeah, right)

It was a nightmare and I hated going to school at that time, but when I went to high school, we had moved to a different neighborhood and the people at my new school never bothered me at all...

I wouldn't say any of the effects from the time of being taunted still affect me..  I'm not angry about it or anything...

I wouldn't know what being bullied is like considering that I was a bully.... Don't hate, I had my own reasons for being a bully. It's sad to hear that your daughter was and still is a target for bullies, are most of her tormentors other girls? I stopped bullying when I realized that I shouldn't judge people simply based on their appearance and even to this day, just because of my natural looks, people assume that I'm a bully...

I wouldn't know what being bullied is like considering that I was a bully.... Don't hate, I had my own reasons for being a bully. It's sad to hear that your daughter was and still is a target for bullies, are most of her tormentors other girls? I stopped bullying when I realized that I shouldn't judge people simply based on their appearance and even to this day, just because of my natural looks, people assume that I'm a bully...


she was bullied by both, the one that told her to kill herself was a guy. Had the cops go talk to him by the way.

I've been teased throughout most of my school career, although its lessened significantly in High school. It was pretty severe in my elementary years.

You can't rely on schools to resolve these issues and there are times when you have to take matters into your own hands... I worked as a school aide and saw firsthand that the administration doesn't want to deal with any complaints, even if they are very serious, and that because they're ill-equipped to handle the situation, they will just try to sweep it under the rug with a comment like "It'll resolve itself..."

You can't rely on schools to resolve these issues and there are times when you have to take matters into your own hands... I worked as a school aide and saw firsthand that the administration doesn't want to deal with any complaints, even if they are very serious, and that because they're ill-equipped to handle the situation, they will just try to sweep it under the rug with a comment like "It'll resolve itself..."


yes schools dont help.....all they say is "Just try to ignore it...stay away from them...your a great person"...and yes finally kids do handle it...killing, shooting...whatever...killing themselves...taunting others...becoming heartless and hateful...many people who have kids now dont get offended I'm not saying ALL I'm saying A LOT of parents dont really help or make matters better.  I think people should realize when someone is in the need they really need to listen...I'd rather be getting the S H I T kicked out of me then to have someone tell me something words hurt me so much more, teens and often children learn to resolve pain also by hurting themselves.....cutting, bruising ect.  I think its horrible

In grade 8, another student told her to kill herself, that she was too fat and ugly and didn't deserve to live.  When I called the school, the principal told me that the other student had every right to tell her that because my daughter was a trouble-maker.

My question to him was, "What could a 14 year old do or say that would make onyone tell her that she doesn't deserve to live." I taped this conversation, and that man no longer has a job in the school system at any level.



I;m very sorry....I'm not telling you how to raise her but you need to do me a big favor...if you dont already do this...tell her everyday how much you love her teens often hide their sadness with a happy face...I know because I do it all the time....and even tho it sounds corny you should talk with her very often about whats new and whats going on..ask her if she needs help...someone had told me something along the lines like that in 5th grade they told me exactly like this "you a fat ugly stupid idiot and you rdont deserve to live so why dont you make everyone happy and kill yourself" I tried too hard not to cry in front of others, so I waited until I got home...that night I had repeatedly punched myself in the stoach until I couldnt take it anymore and blamed it on myself that she told me that.  Have you ever noticed anything like that on your daughter? I hope not, theres this girl whom today she still gets tortured and one time even a teacher was on a bet with someone to take her out. I always try to talk to her but after being tormented so many years shes kind of hard to talk too.

I;m very sorry....I'm not telling you how to raise her but you need to do me a big favor...if you dont already do this...tell her everyday how much you love her teens often hide their sadness with a happy face...I know because I do it all the time....and even tho it sounds corny you should talk with her very often about whats new and whats going on..ask her if she needs help...someone had told me something along the lines like that in 5th grade they told me exactly like this "you a fat ugly stupid idiot and you rdont deserve to live so why dont you make everyone happy and kill yourself" I tried too hard not to cry in front of others, so I waited until I got home...that night I had repeatedly punched myself in the stoach until I couldnt take it anymore and blamed it on myself that she told me that.  Have you ever noticed anything like that on your daughter? I hope not, theres this girl whom today she still gets tortured and one time even a teacher was on a bet with someone to take her out. I always try to talk to her but after being tormented so many years shes kind of hard to talk too.



I do talk to her every day, about everything. She is so beautiful, but because of her size sometimes she thinks she is ugly. I tell her every day I love her and how beautiful she is. She may be 16 but to me she is still one of my babies.

I do talk to her every day, about everything. She is so beautiful, but because of her size sometimes she thinks she is ugly. I tell her every day I love her and how beautiful she is. She may be 16 but to me she is still one of my babies.


awww thats good. Yes women today think they are automatically ugly because they arent some stick that can hid bhind a pole....I honestly think women should be chunky....women should have curves like the pin-ups from back then or those old paintings from the 1800's and before that...that to me is beautiful some some girl that your afraid to shake hands with because she might break

awww thats good. Yes women today think they are automatically ugly because they arent some stick that can hid bhind a pole....I honestly think women should be chunky....women should have curves like the pin-ups from back then or those old paintings from the 1800's and before that...that to me is beautiful some some girl that your afraid to shake hands with because she might break


Thats what I prefer, actually.

More cushion. :)

Thats what I prefer, actually.

More cushion. :)


for the pushion lol sorry thats a cool saying tho

Alicia, you are beautiful. :-*

Just thought you needed to know that. :)

Love,
Your sister

I was bullied mercilessly from kindergarten through my sophomore year in high school, and it never did me any harm...except for psychological maladjustment and nervous ticks!
;) ;)

Ok, I understand that this topic was made to address the problem of bullies, but some of you pplz are really tugging at my heartstrings...  :(  You're probably more self-confident then I am because people have always questioned who you are and I've never had anyone really question who I am....

I honestly think women should be chunky rofl

Alicia, you are beautiful. :-*

Just thought you needed to know that. :)

Love,
Your sister


You HAVE to say that because your my sister

My Brother and I were teased almost our whole lives.I remember one of our bullies' names was Steven Nissinoff and Eric Freud.Eric weighed 300 pounds and Steven was a skinny guy in High School.We always got pushed around,punched in the face,kicked to the ground and handled by them.We never wanted to fight back.as for me,I was always chicken.there was no reason to fight.Eric went to a fat farm and was never seen again and as for Steven,who the hell knows and I don't care! >:(

Damn, you peoples done been roughed up....

i had one bully in highschool. he taunted me ruthlessly. in fact, his torments caused me to fail 10th grade, i made excuses to stay home and sometimes i cut school altogether. failing 10th grade caused me to eventually to quit school entirely.

this one time i had enough. i drove to school with the intentions of murdering him. i had a loaded shotgun in the trunk of my fathers car and i parked beside the bully's car. i then drank myself into a stupor with rye. i planned to ambush him, blow him away in front of everybody. i never went through with it. i drove home and went to bed. he kept up tormenting me until he dropped out of school, leaving the last year the best year of my highschool days.

last year i was at mcdonalds with my then gf. i saw him in the other line with his wife (i assumed) and with two young children....having a child myself, i realised the angst he put me through yet i no longer felt angry towards him because he too was a father. i don't know if he still the same a@@hole as he was but our gazes locked for a second, i knew he recognized me but he showed no emotion. now i think, had i killed him, three children wouldn't have been born into this world....

i had one bully in highschool. he taunted me ruthlessly. in fact, his torments caused me to fail 10th grade, i made excuses to stay home and sometimes i cut school altogether. failing 10th grade caused me to eventually to quit school entirely.

Sorry to hear that, I wonder if that's why James Crump left my school now... because I tormented him so much. That's why I got out of bullying people, because I thought that people would flip out like you almost did.

I've read most of the "stories" on here and it makes mine seem a little stupid.  But I was bullied in school.

There was always one kid who used to be really nasty to me, hurt me, spit on me, ruin my work and basically make my life as crap as possible.  There was a zero tolerance of fighting in my school but I just had to stick up for myself. After a while I got so fed up I bought some Jeet Kun Do books and pretty much taught myself the basics.  Needless to say I kicked this kids ass, and ever since then he never bothered with me.


However I don't always see why I had to learn something like that just to prevent someone from being an imbicile.

When I first moved into where I currently live now, me and my mam (i don't have a dad, unfortunatley - passed away in a fire when I was 3  :\'() were targeted for the first few years we lived there by this group of kids who were, at the time, about 12 years old (I was 7/8ish. They would come around, mouth off, shout abuse at me and my mam and basically make our lives hell. Then , they grew up, got lives and went away somewhere and everything was fine. Until about 1999, when we got new neighbours. it turns out that the neighbour's eldest son knew a few lads from the estate. They were even worse than the first group of bullies. They would hurl abuse, throw stuff at my house, one of them went to my school and was a complete tit, and then one day I lost it. The neighbour's son (dick we shall call him) was more or less the 'leader' of the gang, and he decided one day to try and push me off this wall into some thorn bushes, and I snapped. I'd had enough, so I turned round, smacked 'Dick' in the face (which coincidentally caused his glasses to go flying!  ;D) and he let go of me and went to retrieve his glasses - face as red as beetroot infront of all my street!!! Very funny! He didn't half get some stick off his mates for that, and he even had a nice black eye to remember me by! Strangley enough, he and his friends left me alone after that (they had their odd moments but nothing greatly distressing), and now (because i'm older) everything's calmed down. The best way to sort out bullies - especially if it's a group - is just to smack the 'leader' in his big, stupid face. I swear - you punch him/her (if you're a girl, of course!), and they'll all leave you alone. You see, violence is the only language Bullies understand

I've read most of the "stories" on here and it makes mine seem a little stupid.  But I was bullied in school.

There was always one kid who used to be really nasty to me, hurt me, spit on me, ruin my work and basically make my life as crap as possible.  There was a zero tolerance of fighting in my school but I just had to stick up for myself. After a while I got so fed up I bought some Jeet Kun Do books and pretty much taught myself the basics.  Needless to say I kicked this kids a**, and ever since then he never bothered with me.


However I don't always see why I had to learn something like that just to prevent someone from being an imbicile.


sweetie bullying (no matter what kind) is never stupid all of it is cruel so dont think like that :)

Sorry to hear that, I wonder if that's why James Crump left my school now... because I tormented him so much. That's why I got out of bullying people, because I thought that people would flip out like you almost did.


common sense kept me from killing. i guess i just needed to scare myself. whenever i see school shootings on the media it makes me emotional because i neared that precipice, i know what went through those killers heads, the hate, the fear....i need a drink.

common sense kept me from killing. i guess i just needed to scare myself. whenever i see school shootings on the media it makes me emotional because i neared that precipice, i know what went through those killers heads, the hate, the fear....i need a drink.


Sorry to hear that  :\'(

i only told one other person about that. this topic brought out a lot of personal demons that need exorcising.

i only told one other person about that. this topic brought out a lot of personal demons that need exorcising.


hey, if you EVER need someone to talk too, I am hear you can mail me personally..it's my goal in life to help people I've already talked to two people out of commiting suicide because they fewlt that their life was worse nothing. I love helping people in the sense that I know what its like when there is nobody there its not fun not having anyone...and what makes it good sometimes too is that some people can be total stranges and want to listen..I've talked to a bum once and he just listend and gave me some advice...so if you ever need to talk I'll listen and if you want someone just to listen and not give advice I'm good like that too

My mom had got me a therapist which didnt last long.  She thought that all my problems resolved around from being sexually abused and trying to pry into the family life trying to point a finger at people who I never even talke too....I hated her sometimes because I know that she didnt care about me...its just a job for her to get paid....and they get paid good so I stopped going to her after 4 sessions

I never wanted to fight and there was no reason to so that's why during the 1980's My Brother and I always had gotten picked on. :(

anybody have any bully stories they want to share? ???

OK, I will share mine. I might have shared this somewhere else on the boards..don't remember when.

I was an English speaking kid attending a French speaking school in Quebec, starting in the late 1960s. I was just about the only English speaking kid there. I was short, I was geeky. I was ostracized pretty much..I guess you could compare it to being the only black kid in an all-white school around the same time. Lots of things going on in Quebec politically during the late 60s, a deep hatred between French and English.

I was beat up, kicked, pushed around, just coz I was English. I was thrown down a flight of stairs in 1st grade and had emergency surgery on my nose. I was often beat up and bullied, teased by a gang of 10 kids. It all stopped when I beat the living shyt out of the leader of the gang. They left me alone forever after that incident.

I was also bullied in 6th grade and I got one of my tutorees (I was tutoring him in Math) to beat the guy up.  8)
My tutoree was a huge guy ;D

I don't remember any of the guys names...don't need to, it's long gone, and it would be so unhealthy to hold onto that anger. It happened..it's past. I hold no ill will towards any of them. 
One good thing that resulted from all of this was..I used to be a really good kid when I was 4 to 7 years old... obeyed everything..a doormat to anyone. It was good I grew up and learned how to fight for myself, defend myself and not be a doormat.  :)

I am between five feet eleven inches and six feet tall. This has staved off bullies, at least the physical ones.

Verbally and emotionally, yes.

I used to get bullied by this one kid in Grade 7.  He used to stab me in the leg with pencils during class.  One recess, he attacked me and started choking me for no reason  Had it not been for one of my fellow classmates who pulled him off me, this kid would have probably killed me.  I was too scared to stand up for myself so I never told anyone of authority, nor did I fight back.  Looking back now, I am glad I never fought back because with what I know now, I probably could have seriously hurt this kid bad

I was bullied often in middle school by both girls and boys.

Some of cheerleaders and other snobby girls tried to pretend to be friendly on the surface, but would ask me loaded questions and make jabs at me in somewhat subtle ways.

Boys, usually the arrogant scrawns who played sports, would pretend like they had a crush on me and attempt to ask me on dates with their friends in listening range. I guess they believed I would say yes or swoon or something so they could get a laugh at my expense. They were wrong. I was never fooled.

The reason the bullying stopped is I grew tired of the shenanigans by 8th grade and starting showing them what was up.

I can't remember every time I owned a fool who tried to bully me, but I can think of one in particular.

I had a computer class in 8th grade. This jerk named Todd and a few of his friends attended it with me. I was doing my assignment and my own business when I saw them whispering, then looking at me, then laughing, then whispering again. I frowned because I knew they were plotting something. Break time came. I attempted to leave the class last, but they were wasting time talking to the teacher for the same reason so I left the room. The idiot Todd walked beside me with his three stooges and the teacher in the distance. He put his arm around me and said, "How would you like to go to the movies with me this Saturday?" I stopped walking, looked at him, and said, "Don't touch me," as I slammed him into the locker. His friends laughed at him and the teacher said nothing to me.

In the break room, Lisa walked up to me and said, "Todd really likes you. What is your phone number so I can give it to him?"

I said in a snide tone, "You can tell him it's 555-getalife."

She asked, "Why are you being so rude?"

I said, "Do you think I am so gullible? Newsflash. I'm not stupid. I know what you two are doing. Besides, even if he did really like me, I would still say no because he is ugly and a moron!"

She shut up and neither of them ever harassed me again.

It was good I grew up and learned how to fight for myself, defend myself and not be a doormat.  :)

I was the opposite, I was treated like a doormat. I guess I was way too nice to fight like a man.  :(

My Brother And I always got the crap kicked out of each other growing up by bullies, He learned how to fight but sometimes came home bruised as for me I never learned or wanted to fight, that's why I came home always crying to my Mother, they pushed me, stomped my head to the ground and bruised me. But I'll never forget October 1991 (22 years ago) I come off the bus from High School going home and one of the bullies jumped me from behind, I came home crying to My Mother as usual. I was a kid, what did I know about fighting back.

I was the opposite, I was treated like a doormat. I guess I was way too nice to fight like a man.  :(


Howard, it's not easy being bullied. At times you feel irritated, helpless, wondering if it's ever going to end. You just wanna close your eyes and wish it would stop. It's frustrating. It can be very very hard to fight back. It's hard to know how to handle it when it happens.  :-\\

Howard, it's not easy being bullied. At times you feel irritated, helpless, wondering if it's ever going to end. You just wanna close your eyes and wish it would stop. It's frustrating. It can be very very hard to fight back. It's hard to know how to handle it when it happens.  :-\\


I could never fight back. That's why now when I see the store manager Jack and one time he screamed at me and he reminded me of a big bully that always picked on the weaker link. I could never talk back that's why I always keep hush and do my job.

I could never fight back. That's why now when I see the store manager Jack and one time he screamed at me and he reminded me of a big bully that always picked on the weaker link. I could never talk back that's why I always keep hush and do my job.


So, if someone ever screams at you (whether you did something wrong or you didn't) you just keep hush? 
Just asking.

So, if someone ever screams at you (whether you did something wrong or you didn't) you just keep hush? 
Just asking.


Yeah, I'm the (or their) "yes" man, I try not to say "no".

Yeah, I'm the (or their) "yes" man, I try not to say "no".


If people yell at you at work, can you ask them not to , like

"Excuse me, I hear what you are saying, but you don't have to yell, do ya?"

If people yell at you at work, can you ask them not to , like

"Excuse me, I hear what you are saying, but you don't have to yell, do ya?"


I don't know I can't do that, I'm too timid to speak up, I'm just a timid mouse.  :-\\

Anybody come crying home to their Parents?

Anybody come crying home to their Parents?


Because of bullying? Not me. Not even when I had to have emergency surgery coz I was thrown down the stairs. First of all I wouldn't say anything, secondly my mom didn't wanna know anything that was going on, and my dad would have been too drunk. Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't give a shyt.

Because of bullying? Not me. Not even when I had to have emergency surgery coz I was thrown down the stairs. First of all I wouldn't say anything, secondly my mom didn't wanna know anything that was going on, and my dad would have been too drunk. Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't give a shyt.


My Father almost came close to beating the crap out of one of the bullies many many years ago for teasing me but today he couldn't beat up anybody cause of his painful sciatica, arthritis and bursitis.

My Father almost came close to beating the crap out of one of the bullies many many years ago for teasing me but today he couldn't beat up anybody cause of his painful sciatica, arthritis and bursitis.


Well, you don't expect your dad to beat up someone who bullies you now, do you? I think you are 39 years-old now.

Anybody come crying home to their Parents?


\

I did go home crying to parents various times....choked up and helpless :-\\

Well, you don't expect your dad to beat up someone who bullies you now, do you? I think you are 39 years-old now.


But he can scream and curse his head off, you wouldn't like it when he gets pissed. :o

\

I did go home crying to parents various times....choked up and helpless :-\\


I did the same thing, came home to My Mother, she comforted me later.

But he can scream and curse his head off, you wouldn't like it when he gets pissed. :o


If someone curses your head off at work like that...depends on what he says and how he says it, can be a form of harassment.  No place for that in any kind or workplace. 

Because of bullying? Not me. Not even when I had to have emergency surgery coz I was thrown down the stairs. First of all I wouldn't say anything, secondly my mom didn't wanna know anything that was going on, and my dad would have been too drunk. Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't give a shyt.


I really tried not to cry in front of either parent.  If I cried in front of my mom, she might start crying too, then I'd have to suck it up and calm HER down.  If I cried in front of my dad he'd think I was a pussy, and go on about how my mom turned me into a big pussy.  I mean, he wouldn't use the word "pussy," but it was plain as day what he meant all the same!

I'd turn red and tears would well up, so I'd storm up to my room, and not come out until dinner. 

::)

OK, I will share mine. I might have shared this somewhere else on the boards..don't remember when.

I was an English speaking kid attending a French speaking school in Quebec, starting in the late 1960s. I was just about the only English speaking kid there. I was short, I was geeky. I was ostracized pretty much..I guess you could compare it to being the only black kid in an all-white school around the same time. Lots of things going on in Quebec politically during the late 60s, a deep hatred between French and English.

I was beat up, kicked, pushed around, just coz I was English. I was thrown down a flight of stairs in 1st grade and had emergency surgery on my nose. I was often beat up and bullied, teased by a gang of 10 kids. It all stopped when I beat the living shyt out of the leader of the gang. They left me alone forever after that incident.

I was also bullied in 6th grade and I got one of my tutorees (I was tutoring him in Math) to beat the guy up.  8)
My tutoree was a huge guy ;D

I don't remember any of the guys names...don't need to, it's long gone, and it would be so unhealthy to hold onto that anger. It happened..it's past. I hold no ill will towards any of them. 
One good thing that resulted from all of this was..I used to be a really good kid when I was 4 to 7 years old... obeyed everything..a doormat to anyone. It was good I grew up and learned how to fight for myself, defend myself and not be a doormat.  :)


I know how you feel. My classmates from my old school used to bully me for being English-speaking, and because of them, my English has begun to suck due to my lack of confidence in speaking it. (I come from a non-Anglophone country as you could see).

If someone curses your head off at work like that...depends on what he says and how he says it, can be a form of harassment.  No place for that in any kind or workplace.


I'll let you in on one situation that happened towards me and one of the mean store managers, his name is Jack (The Hitler) and a most of the workers hate him but I think it was during this past summer, he confronted me about not cleaning the outside sidewalk and having unlocked wagons and after that he said "if you don't shape up, I'm going to throw you out", screaming at me and one of customers who had a kid with a disability overheard him and they defended me saying that he had no right screaming at you like that, I'm going to report him right away", the customer was quite nice to me and I thanked her afterwards.

I'll let you in on one situation that happened towards me and one of the mean store managers, his name is Jack (The Hitler) and a most of the workers hate him but I think it was during this past summer, he confronted me about not cleaning the outside sidewalk and having unlocked wagons and after that he said "if you don't shape up, I'm going to throw you out", screaming at me and one of customers who had a kid with a disability overheard him and they defended me saying that he had no right screaming at you like that, I'm going to report him right away", the customer was quite nice to me and I thanked her afterwards.


Don't you belong to a union?  You can file a grievance.  No employee should ever be yelled at in front of a customer.  Heck, no employee should be yelled at.  If they need correcting they should be taken to an employees only area and talked to, not yelled at. 

Don't you belong to a union?  You can file a grievance.  No employee should ever be yelled at in front of a customer.  Heck, no employee should be yelled at.  If they need correcting they should be taken to an employees only area and talked to, not yelled at.


not in front of customers like that. ::)

not in front of customers like that. ::)


Well?  Do you belong to a union?

Don't you belong to a union?  You can file a grievance.  No employee should ever be yelled at in front of a customer.  Heck, no employee should be yelled at.  If they need correcting they should be taken to an employees only area and talked to, not yelled at.


Exactly. Do what Dag said, you can file a grievance. If you don't know how to do that, check with your union rep or Human resources from Pathmark, not sure how your company does that, it's different with every company. As I said earlier, no place for that in any kind of workplace.
If someone curses your head off at work like that...depends on what he says and how he says it, can be a form of harassment.  No place for that in any kind or workplace. 


You do need to document what they said to you, what was the incident (or incidents), date and times are helpful. 
You should not be treated that way at work and there is something you can do about it.

Exactly. Do what Dag said, you can file a grievance. If you don't know how to do that, check with your union rep or Human resources from Pathmark, not sure how your company does that, it's different with every company. As I said earlier, no place for that in any kind of workplace.
You do need to document what they said to you, what was the incident (or incidents), date and times are helpful. 
You should not be treated that way at work and there is something you can do about it.


And, to add to this, if he does it to you, there is a good chance he does it to other employees as well.  Talk to some of them and see.  More than one person filing a grievance will get the attention of the bosses.

And, to add to this, if he does it to you, there is a good chance he does it to other employees as well.  Talk to some of them and see.  More than one person filing a grievance will get the attention of the bosses.


Good point. And it's possible that one or more of them have already filed a grievance or have thought about filing a grievance against Jack.
Just casually ask your co-workers (when no one else is around to hear) "Hey...just wondering..does Jack yell at you sometimes" and see what they say. Depending on their answers, ask follow-up questions like "Did you ever talk to Jack about it?" or 'Did you ever wish he would stop" or "What do you think we can do about it?"  something like that. See how they respond. 

Well?  Do you belong to a union?


Yes, Local 1500 UFCW

Yes, Local 1500 UFCW


Then talk to your union rep.  He or she may have advice for you on whether or not a grievance is necessary in this case.  You don't deserve to be treated that way...no one does.  Jack needs to learn this.

Then talk to your union rep.  He or she may have advice for you on whether or not a grievance is necessary in this case.  You don't deserve to be treated that way...no one does.  Jack needs to learn this.


workers call him Jack The Hitler cause of his small mustache which has turned gray and his buzzcut which has turned gray too.

Then talk to your union rep.  He or she may have advice for you on whether or not a grievance is necessary in this case.  You don't deserve to be treated that way...no one does.  Jack needs to learn this.


Don't forget to follow up with this, Howard.

Don't forget to follow up with this, Howard.


Yes I will.

You're listening to someone who was bullied from the word go.  Been called all kinds of nasty names; and didn't feel a fire rising inside of her until she was 18.  :( It wasn't until we moved down here that I actually felt safe.

You're listening to someone who was bullied from the word go.  Been called all kinds of nasty names; and didn't feel a fire rising inside of her until she was 18.  :( It wasn't until we moved down here that I actually felt safe.


How do you feel now?

How do you feel now?


I'm still feeling safe. :)

I'm glad that I don't deal with bullies anymore and if someone bullies me nowadays, I got the police on speed dial.

Bullied and borderline tortured by classmates, neighbors, school staff, family, even caregivers, had tons of trouble in the Oregon State Hospital, also had my fair share of troll encounters on the internets.

Anyone who really wants to know can PM me, but it is somewhat disturbing & quite emotional.  :\'(

I have a certain problem with people tending to use a word like "bullying" every time they disagree with what someone says or does!  I have heard parents say " He/She is such a bully" and that is not the case, the child/person may be assertive and defend their position.  But in my mind that is not bullying.  The word gets used way too often.  I have been accused of it, because I stated my opinion or defended my stance on a subject. 

In My Opinion..  Bullying is not disagreeing, it is not standing up for ones own opinion, or for someone else.  Bullying is threatening, or harming someone (Physically or mentally).  Wishing them ill will, or wearing away their psyche.  Bullying can be name calling, but it gets grey there as some nicknames se degrading in themselves, but yet people use them. 

I have seen two students debate a subject, each on opposing sides and just because the weaker debater caved and the assertive still had plenty of stance.  The weak one cried bully.  I was witnessing the whole thing (is was debating agricultural issues).  The student took it personally and was hurt and offended.  I tried to explain, assertive student a was not bullying.  He just naturally filled a room with presence.  But he was not mean spirited, in debating he could just look at all sides and counter argue very well.  Needless to say, I had principal and parent issues about bullying going on in class. 

Can anyone else tell me what they think it is, and what it is not?

I have a certain problem with people tending to use a word like "bullying" every time they disagree with what someone says or does!  I have heard parents say " He/She is such a bully" and that is not the case, the child/person may be assertive and defend their position.  But in my mind that is not bullying.  The word gets used way too often.  I have been accused of it, because I stated my opinion or defended my stance on a subject. 

In My Opinion..  Bullying is not disagreeing, it is not standing up for ones own opinion, or for someone else.  Bullying is threatening, or harming someone (Physically or mentally).  Wishing them ill will, or wearing away their psyche.  Bullying can be name calling, but it gets grey there as some nicknames se degrading in themselves, but yet people use them. 

I have seen two students debate a subject, each on opposing sides and just because the weaker debater caved and the assertive still had plenty of stance.  The weak one cried bully.  I was witnessing the whole thing (is was debating agricultural issues).  The student took it personally and was hurt and offended.  I tried to explain, assertive student a was not bullying.  He just naturally filled a room with presence.  But he was not mean spirited, in debating he could just look at all sides and counter argue very well.  Needless to say, I had principal and parent issues about bullying going on in class. 

Can anyone else tell me what they think it is, and what it is not?


The biggest bullies in our culture assume the position of victim.  Christian conservatives and white Libertarians always talk as though they're getting the short end of the stick and the country has declared war on them.  You can see this played out every night on FOX News.

I have also seen political pressure groups on university campuses target and persecute students, faculty, staff, and community members.  These groups are formed by people who have been at a historical disadvantage, such as African-Americans and women. 

I myself was threatened and strong-armed by an African-American group at UMass in the 1990s.  It was over policy influence and airtime at the university radio station.  I didn't have power over the African-American pressure group.  However, I did not give them the things they required out of all white students: Deference and silence.  When they were wrong, I said so.  When their complaints were illegitimate, I made my opinions known on the op-ed pages.  For this I was branded a racist and a troublemaker, not just by the pressure group, but by the executives of my own organization. 

Cry oppression in a politically correct community and you get away with damn near anything!

I have a certain problem with people tending to use a word like "bullying" every time they disagree with what someone says or does!  I have heard parents say " He/She is such a bully" and that is not the case, the child/person may be assertive and defend their position.  But in my mind that is not bullying.  The word gets used way too often.  I have been accused of it, because I stated my opinion or defended my stance on a subject. 

In My Opinion..  Bullying is not disagreeing, it is not standing up for ones own opinion, or for someone else.  Bullying is threatening, or harming someone (Physically or mentally).  Wishing them ill will, or wearing away their psyche.  Bullying can be name calling, but it gets grey there as some nicknames se degrading in themselves, but yet people use them. 

I have seen two students debate a subject, each on opposing sides and just because the weaker debater caved and the assertive still had plenty of stance.  The weak one cried bully.  I was witnessing the whole thing (is was debating agricultural issues).  The student took it personally and was hurt and offended.  I tried to explain, assertive student a was not bullying.  He just naturally filled a room with presence.  But he was not mean spirited, in debating he could just look at all sides and counter argue very well.  Needless to say, I had principal and parent issues about bullying going on in class. 

Can anyone else tell me what they think it is, and what it is not?


Bullying is a very sensitive subject, I doubt that there was bullying in that debate, as long as the person didn't mock, made fun of or put down the other person in an arrogant and insulting way. Some people are gifted debaters, that's all. After all, I hope they probably weren't insulting the other person's character or intelligence..it was just a debate over a topic.

I was bullied in school (physically beaten up) because I was an English kid in a French school. I stood up to them and had to have a physical fight with the leader and it stopped. But I knew other school mates who continued to be bullied...physical violence. That is what I consider bullying...physically hurting or scaring someone. Sadly, there are people that are bullied all the time, and never speak up. Those are the ones I feel for.  :-http://www.bullyingcanada.ca/content/239900

That is what I consider bullying...physically hurting or scaring someone. Sadly, there are people that are bullied all the time, and never speak up. Those are the ones I feel for

I was always the quiet one, never wanted to put up a fight with anyone, that's the way I was back then.

I was recently the victim of a verbal assault on me on Facebook.  I just spoke up but when I did I ended up hurting someone I really cared about.  I've just been crying all week and I'm on week two of my crying fits.  It's not a nice feeling to end up hurting someone that I care about but I had to tell because I didn't feel I was fairly and accurately portrayed by this person.  I was a bit overzealous in my posting on Facebook but that's neither here nor there.  :\'( :\'(


what did this person say to you?

It wasn't what was said it was how it was said.  She was really agressive and borderlining on being the equivalent of a school yard bully.  I don't want to say who was involved due to privacy but it got me kicked out of two facebook groups due to that person using that post against me.


I also read your post in the "Sound off and vent" thread.  http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=35513.msg3116140#msg3116140

1) Sorry to hear you are hurt. It sucks that you are hurt
2) Hate to say this, but it's just a facebook group and probably should not have this much effect on your life.
It's probably someone you have never met before. Chances are if they are a bully to you, they probably are bullies to others as well, and I'm sure this person is disliked by most. But...this is their life. Some people are just jerks. But usually those types of people tend to remain where they are and other people have to leave.

From what I have experienced in life...whether at school, work, church, social groups or internet websites, usually there are 1 or 2 people that cause 95% of the problems. As I said I'm sure no one from that FB groups probably likes that person either.  Try hard and brush this off...and join other groups, I'm sure there any many of them.

It wasn't what was said it was how it was said.  She was really agressive and borderlining on being the equivalent of a school yard bully.  I don't want to say who was involved due to privacy but it got me kicked out of two facebook groups due to that person using that post against me.


It's just a Facebook group, put this person on ignore and see what happens.

:D

Perhaps this can explain how I feel?

http://blogs.ocweekly.com/heardmentality/candy%20hearts%20-%20jena%20ardell.jpg

:D

Perhaps this can explain how I feel?

http://www.noiselabs.com/blog/images/valentines.jpg


you were bullied?

you were bullied?


Yup! Until I was 18.

Yup! Until I was 18.


I was bullied in my teens too.  :(

For me the worst bullies weren't enemies from the get go, but on and off "friends" who were my friend one minute, and the next they weren't. Like one girl who'd play mind games when you went to her house and it was late at night, she'd start her crap. The other one I knew since grade school and she'd insist I said things I never said and tried to pit me against other girls because she was afraid she'd lose both of us. She also loved to spread rumors to make herself feel better apparently.

My bosses buck up, I buck back, sometimes first. I'm 6'4, 250lbs, there's nothing like a well versed, silver tongued, intelligent angry black man. Middle school was the start of my bullying or teasing. No one tried to fight me after I put a guys head in a locker door, for picking on my friend, although they did add gay bashing, I wasn't or didn't even know I was queer at the time, so that was weird.

High school was about the same accept I got even nastier, still a loner, outcast for most part. They knew I was crazy, filled with hate, contempt, no value for their lives. The threats I've made put a smile on my face even today. Yet, I never fit in, I gave up on that 3rd year. I never liked 106&Park or most things black people seem to like, I hung with the fellow goths, I actually started getting in to music, I had a boyfriend, a girlfriend, made both proms. Was still depressed and whatnot. Not so much from the teasing, just other stuff.

Nowadays, I don't have time or patience for that crap, from anyone. I don't know what makes people think I'm a pushover, could be my kind heart and good nature. My only issue is how the little pissants are quick to call the cops when I turn the table. Yeah, I'm a little bitter, a little broken, but I'm okay. I got what I've wanted, Friends just as crazy, wonderful, sexy girlfriend, two wonderful boys.

I was bullied in my teens too.  :(

So was I. Mostly in the form of name-calling.

So was I. Mostly in the form of name-calling.

Back in the days I used to get the crap beat out of me.  :(

Back in the days I used to get the crap beat out of me.  :(

I was never physically abused, thankfully. Just verbally.