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"Hi folks, this is Tryin' Sucrets, your host for Amiright Idol! We have 11 contestants who have bravely submitted what they feel is their best parody work to be judged by our esteemed panel. NO ONE is eliminated from this round. The purpose of this opening round is for the judges to give feedback to our contestants, and for all interested parties to be entertained and enlightened in the art of parody writing. The judges will post their commentary on the artist's parody page as well as here."

"Here are your Amiright Idol Contestants for  2008 (in order of submission)!-----"

MATTHIAS
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/nellyftkellyrowland0.shtml
DKTOS? (don't know the original song?) Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdcfkZ9jMzQ (ignore the opening rap in the 1st 30 seconds)

ANN HAMMOND, aka WILDCARD
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/manfredmann9.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fs0JoZHGP9M

JASON
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/neworder5.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts9r0QHuFHw

ETHAN MAWYER, aka EthanM
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/rodstewart36.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T5hYlUsQ0s

MELANIE LEE
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/elmopatsy4.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTiovEwBZu4

JACK WILSON
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/christinaaugilerapinkmyalilkimmissyell0.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9V8uJnKBj8

DOUG BASEBALL, aka DF
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/neildiamond114.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM6OuJPXmQs
Lyrics: http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Neil-Diamond/Longfellow-Serenade.html (I have included his lyric link, because I cannot vouch for the correct lyrics nor sound quality of the video.)

STEPHEN HARRINGTON, aka Step-Chan
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/eddygrant13.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtPk5IUbdH0

TENACIOUS LEE
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/eltonjohn270.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adIAM4yZMxw

GIANNI PARMESIANI
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2167.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iYrWoUkqDg

WOLVERINE
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/barrywhite10.shtml
DKTOS? Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shLjsG7bErI (Vocals begin approximately at 1:25)

I'm going to hop around and critique the entries as I am able to, in no particular order.

Gianni Parmesiani's "Festivus"
  This was fun. I especially liked how you changed every line and word, with a continuing storyline of sorts. When writing a parody on a pop culture item, try to write for everyone in the audience. I for one, know about the Festivus episode, but I didn't get the last line...others might not know about it, or Seinfeld, at all. Thanks for entering, and Good Luck!

Matthias' "Chicken"

Matty, it's kind of funny seeing you here and judging you as if you had just come off the boat or something. At any rate, Dave's parody of this got me familiarized with the tune. This was gosh-dern funny, another in your on-going redneck chronicles, great interplay between the hen and the farmer. The only line I didn't get was "You know your pecker’s not construed." whazzup with that? Good luck!

Melanie Lee's Yankees Got Run Over By the Red Sox
For a long time participant, we sure don't see you often with new submissions (or, I don't, at least). Glad you stepped up here. This is a prime example of a topical parody that kind of loses its edge with the passing of time (especially with the Kerry/Bush references). I generally don't have affection for sports parodies for that reason, but at least with the verses, you informed me of some important names and situations (and subbing the OS very well at the same time). Note that higher marks in competition usually come from varied choruses. If this were an elimination round, though, I wouldn't hold that against you--it worked for me, in this case. Good luck!

Doug Baseball's Mediieval Engineer

Glad to see you joined in thanks to my subtle suggestion. ;) This was the OS (original song) I was least familar with, thank goodness for Youtube. I like how you changed the rhymes without losing the rhyme scheme itself. It was a very creative idea--stories from true life often make great parody ideas. Be careful about "poetic license"--your "'nough" usage might be kind of hard to comprehend in a live performance or recording (which, ultimately, this compeition is made for). Good luck!

Ann Hammond's Think I lost My Mind
hi Ann. I've talked with you many times before, and what I've said before still applies. You favor spontaneous, stream-of-conscious writing, of which I approve of, but sometimes this can be a downfall. Surrealism turns off many readers, although it should be known that Red Ant and Below Average Dave have been known to go "random" and wacky now and then, too. You didn't write a 2nd chorus or a new verse at the coda; it is VERY hard to do so with 'Blinded By The Light', but our forthcoming rounds should be easier than that. Good luck!

Ethan Mawyer's Sallie Mae
Ethan, I am 100% in agreeance with you on this one. I myself got into this mess way back in 1988, with no end in sight short of a lottery win. You took a problem many folks understand and found the humor in it, especially in the last verse dreaming of Oprah and a pot of gold. Good luck!

Wolverine's Forlorn For Your Melbourne
Thanks for joining us, Wolverine! .... 2 big issues here: 1 is too much of the original words still in the parody; 2 is that it isn't terribly funny, especially for such a long and minimalistic tune like this. The first three stanzas were great, though. I've said before that no song (with one exception irrelevant here) is parody proof...but that does't mean that good parodies can be produced by any song. Train yourself with more songs that have typical amounts of verses and choruses.Good luck!

Wolverine's Forlorn For Your Melbourne
Thanks for joining us, Wolverine! .... 2 big issues here: 1 is too much of the original words still in the parody; 2 is that it isn't terribly funny, especially for such a long and minimalistic tune like this. The first three stanzas were great, though. I've said before that no song (with one exception irrelevant here) is parody proof...but that does't mean that good parodies can be produced by any song. Train yourself with more songs that have typical amounts of verses and choruses.Good luck!


I'm curious: what's the exception?

I'm curious: what's the exception?


There is one song in particular that I think NO ONE can effectively parody called "Iki Maska", by German singer Nina Hagen (I parodied her "Smack Jack" tune twice). I challenged fans at Baddave.com to parody it, and there haven't been any takers yet.  :D

I can't find a reliable mp3 for it, nor any lyric transcription. It's a totally goofy melange of semi-improvised rhythmic chants and vocal riffs in German, English and god knows what else set to "The Peter Gunn Theme", with internal nods to Bob Dylan's "Blowin' In the Wind", Bowie's "Ziggy Stardust", "O Sole Mio" and countless other tunes. It's a very grating and chaotic piece of music to listen to, so I don't recommend it to everyone, but you can sample 30 seconds of it at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000027GI/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top/103-3241771-1417422

Jack Wilson's Crappy Senior prom
(includes my commentary originally published Feb 1, 2008)
A lot of fun here, Jack; you painted a pretty picture. Now I don't feel so bad to have missed my own prom back in 1988. Excellent subs for all the choruses and adlibs. Jack has brought it on hard, and will be a force to reckon with in this competition. Good luck!

Stephen Harrington's Nintendo Avenue
(includes my commentary published 5/30/08)
You worked hard and carefully on this, a very good job! I was somewhat confused during verse 2, but I got it eventually . Brought back some fine memories for me. Good luck!

Tenacious Lee's Are You Ready For Lunch?
Another oddball 70s tune I had very little knowledge of. There was one pacing hiccup in the 2nd stanza. This was a cute song, just twisted the meaning of the original a bit. I wish it had been just a bit funnier, I'm not sure how. It was unusual how the ending menu turned into Vietnamese cooking, for sure! Good luck!

You said there were 11 contestants, yet there are 10 names. Is someone missing?

You said there were 11 contestants, yet there are 10 names. Is someone missing?

The last one is being added, my bad. (i never use that phrase, "my bad", unless it is really worthy...) :-Hmmm... wonder if the person this is directed to will even read it? A Well done N.O. parody.
Hope you don't find me harsh here, Jason. There was pacing problems here and there. My best, biggest open advice to all parody writers is to count syllables of each line between a printed lyric sheet and your written work before submitting. I'm not saying you did or didn't, Jason, just mentioning it here.
Also keep in mind that Amiright-centered parodies are indeed fun, but won't mean much to those outside of our little wacky community. Remember, though, I did enjoy this parody. Good luck, Jason!

Ann Hammond's "I Think I Lost My Mind"

Ann, this is one of the biggest challenges entered into the round as far as OS's are concerned. Backing tracks do exist, so in a regular round it can be recorded. Your rhyme scheme was fantastic, though some of the lines were a tad confusing and it seemed that perhaps it was self oriented. Self oriented work is good as a write, and even as a recording once a fan base has been built. As one who has gotten to know you a tad, I can say that I got it though. Overall this was among your better writes, but one thing you want to watch is backing vocals. In some songs it doesn't make a big deal, but the ending is missed here and in this song it does play a big role.

Stephen Harrington's "Nintendo Avenue"


Well, as an Idol judge I must leave a more in depth comment than I did here. Recordability on this one was fantastic, it's actually one of my favorite parodies of this song so far. Nintendo is a big name, and name brands always garner attention in the recording world (Pepsi Dependency, I'll Drink the Slim Fast, South Park and Affair Mushroom Kingdom are among my most popular recordings). Great job on catching the feel of the OS and the rhyme scheme. Only one slight criticism for you, going into Atari and Playstation kinda took away from the Nintendo theme to it and created a bit of a rift in an otherwise flawless parody, so watch randomness, but great job Stephen.

Jason's "Blue Monday (The Day A Plaigarist Gets Banned)"

(AmIright Idol)  Though I'm not as big on syllable counting, it is a good starter.  My main criticism on this one Jason is some of the major grammatical problems in the beginning.  Re-iterating Agri's comment, outside of AmIRight if I were to record this song for you--it probably wouldn't have broad appeal because of the topic.  I love the OS choice though, and it is imperative that the OS be popular enough to have an audience, which this song did.

Melanie Lee's "Yankees Got Ran Over by The Red Sox"

(AmIRight Idol) Well, I have to echo a bit of Agri, at this point Kerry/Bush kinda loses it's effect--and Yankees/Red Sox is more of a narrow appeal topic. I'm all for supporting home teams, I grew up in St. Louis and we all know how it is with intense rivalry. The thing is, songs like that are best as a novelty recording. The good thing about the non-elimination round is we can give you some feedback to help prepare you for the tougher rounds. A song like this OS would be difficult to record because it's just not a song that has year-round appeal. Also, baseball is a summer topic, and to a Christmas song--it may have limited appeal despite being very well written. I think that this was a good write Melanie, but be careful with topic VS OS song choice ;)

Doug Baseball's "Midevil Engineer"

(AmIRight Idol) To expand on Agri's "Poetic License" sentiment. When writing songs that other's will record and you aren't in person, one thing to keep in mind is the person who would be recording your work may not know where you are trying to go with certain choices. That said, I enjoyed your rhyme scheme and topic. The song choice would have been tough though because it is not what I would consider one of his more well known songs, overall good though.

Melanie Lee's "Yankees Got Ran Over by The Red Sox"

Melanie Lee's Yankees Got Run Over By the Red Sox
For a long time participant, we sure don't see you often with new submissions (or, I don't, at least). Glad you stepped up here. This is a prime example of a topical parody that kind of loses its edge with the passing of time (especially with the Kerry/Bush references). I generally don't have affection for sports parodies for that reason, but at least with the verses, you informed me of some important names and situations (and subbing the OS very well at the same time). Note that higher marks in competition usually come from varied choruses. If this were an elimination round, though, I wouldn't hold that against you--it worked for me, in this case. Good luck! 
« Last Edit: June 05, 2008, 01:10:30 PM by agrimorfee » 

(AmIRight Idol) Well, I have to echo a bit of Agri, at this point Kerry/Bush kinda loses it's effect--and Yankees/Red Sox is more of a narrow appeal topic. I'm all for supporting home teams, I grew up in St. Louis and we all know how it is with intense rivalry. The thing is, songs like that are best as a novelty recording. The good thing about the non-elimination round is we can give you some feedback to help prepare you for the tougher rounds. A song like this OS would be difficult to record because it's just not a song that has year-round appeal. Also, baseball is a summer topic, and to a Christmas song--it may have limited appeal despite being very well written. I think that this was a good write Melanie, but be careful with topic VS OS song choice ;)


Thanks for the comments, you guys.  I have two questions:

1) What's the difference between novelty songs and what we're doing here?
2) What exactly do you mean by "subs"?  I know it must come from "substitute", but I have a feeling it means more than that.  Someone told me I needed more "subs" on my latter parody of "We Have Heaven" ("We Have 'Bama") because the OS is such a short song.  Does s/he mean I should have added more lyrics?

BTW, I wrote the Yankees/Red Sox parody in mid-October, between the pennant race and the World Series--you know, when the Christmas stuf starts showing up on the store shelves!  ;D

Sooooooooooooooo...... Are we going to have a 2nd part to this contest or what? June 3rd was quite some time ago, shouldn't the new event be up by now?

Dave said no later than friday about a week ago, but he never said which Friday

I'm not a smart Ann but I do know it happens    sometimes

sorry I'm bored.

Sooooooooooooooo...... Are we going to have a 2nd part to this contest or what? June 3rd was quite some time ago, shouldn't the new event be up by now?


Matthias, the rounds will generally NOT be posted until commentary and voting in each round are complete. . .patience my friend, I'm just about done with commentary--Red Ant will be doing his Friday

I did intend that Friday--but we kinda came to the conclusion that because most rounds will have eliminations, we don't want to much on anybody's plate, thus we have not posted the next round because commentary isn't done and in the future we don't want to force someone to write a song when they may not get to use it, Right now we are tentatively (assuming Ant is back in time to get his comments in) aiming for Friday to start writing for Round 2

Thanks for the comments, you guys.  I have two questions:

1) What's the difference between novelty songs and what we're doing here?
2) What exactly do you mean by "subs"?  I know it must come from "substitute", but I have a feeling it means more than that.  Someone told me I needed more "subs" on my latter parody of "We Have Heaven" ("We Have 'Bama") because the OS is such a short song.  Does s/he mean I should have added more lyrics?

BTW, I wrote the Yankees/Red Sox parody in mid-October, between the pennant race and the World Series--you know, when the Christmas stuf starts showing up on the store shelves!  ;D


By novelty I mean scope of appeal.  A parody like yours is great as a local parody, but on a worldwide or even nation wide scale, it'd be limited because Boston fans and anti-Bush fans would be the only takers.  It's a good write--but on a larger scale it'd have limited appeal, which is where I take the word Novelty for

Prime Example

I released Matthias Guy almost 1.5 years ago, however in all time listens as a recording it trails all but three of my 28 songs released over the first 6 months of this year despite having two to three times the amount of time passed.  That is because only those who know Matthias and/or AmIRight have interest enough to check it.  Songs like that are ok to have among a collection, but as a signature song wouldn't work--thus they are 'novelty' songs.  Just something to keep in mind for the recording contest though--it does NOT mean you shouldn't write songs about your favorite teams or sports--regardless of song, we all do--but when recorded and released you would perform better with a topic that has wider appeal:)

That's also why we have this non-elimination round, though I can't say that I'd vote your lowest or anything, but that's what this round is for so you guys get an idea of what we will be looking for.

I would call everything we do here a 'novelty song', too, but Dave is quite right about the need for songs with general appeal.

I would call everything we do here a 'novelty song', too, but Dave is quite right about the need for songs with general appeal.


thanks, and it takes too long to say "Novelty among Novelty Songs" :)

By novelty I mean scope of appeal.  A parody like yours is great as a local parody, but on a worldwide or even nation wide scale, it'd be limited because Boston fans and anti-Bush fans would be the only takers.  It's a good write--but on a larger scale it'd have limited appeal, which is where I take the word Novelty for

Prime Example

I released Matthias Guy

I have a lot of respect for what Below Average Dave is accomplishing and attempting to accomplish on this and his own web sites, but when he compares the audience appeal of Matthias to that of the rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, I have to interject.  With all due respect to Matthias, there is no comparison.  This is totally disingenuous.  If someone doesn’t like sports or “topical” parodies, that’s OK.  I happen to like them, but I realize that this is a matter of taste.  But please don’t make absurd comparisons.

Otherwise, keep up the good work, BAD!

I have a lot of respect for what Below Average Dave is accomplishing and attempting to accomplish on this and his own web sites, but when he compares the audience appeal of Matthias to that of the rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees, I have to interject.  With all due respect to Matthias, there is no comparison.  This is totally disingenuous.  If someone doesn’t like sports or “topical” parodies, that’s OK.  I happen to like them, but I realize that this is a matter of taste.  But please don’t make absurd comparisons.

Otherwise, keep up the good work, BAD!



Oy. . .

John if you re-read what I said I did not compare them directly, what I said is broad audience.  I did not say Matthias VS Boston/New York--I said compared to my other stuff, Matthias Guy isn't as big of a hit because it doesn't appeal to as broad an audience, I won't back off that statement because it's true, The Boston/New York Rivalry is huge--to fans of Boston or New York, I'm not saying that if you compared that to Matthias' audience that Matthias would be about even, I'm saying compared to ones that appeal to general audiences, I'm sorry if that was offensive, it certainly wasn't meant that way, but I think the general public understands what I'm saying. . . .I will finish my commentary tonight on other songs at the moment I've got a bit of a headache and have to get to work.

Apologies for holding up everyone this round. I just got back in town and I'll try to read and comment on everyone's works by tomorrow mid day.

Ant

Matthias' Chicken

(AmIRight Idol) I think this parody very well may be the most insane in the bunch. As a general rule taking on unique or controversial subjects is a good way to garner attention, and the whole idea of a chicken farmer love affair is hilarious. A minor wrench here or there is needed though. This takes place on a farm, so I'm not sure how she managed to have sex with a whole zoo and the ex-horse--wow that chicken is insane, I don't know why she'd be getting down with a horse when humans are her thing, but regardless this was hilarious. Minor pacing blimps, minor random line issues, but overall very good.

Ethan Mawyer's Sallie

(AmIRight Idol) Very good topic choice Ethan, taking on big names is always a plus in my book. No one line stood out, but writing about topics of this nature will relate well to a wide audience, a very important feature in making popular recordings. The only minor criticism I have, and I do mean minor, is this OS would not be the easiest to get behind for recording purposes. . .but still good job Ethan, Keep this up and you'll go far in this contest.

Jack Wilson's Crappy Senior Prom

(AmIRight Idol) I too have already commented on this one. Because it is a recording competition and have taken on this one to try to record, the one thing I will advise is tightening pacing a bit, but that said, this was a good song choice, popular OS that is easily recognized--which automatically increases it's popularity no matter what the topic. The topic may be somewhat of a limited scope BUT because the vast majority of us do at some point experience this, it works.

Tenacious Lee Are You Ready for Lunch?

(AmIRight Idol) I have a few suggestions for you in this contest. One, turning a couple of words around is kinda cool, however you left many many many words in touch. If I were to record it and play it back to back with the OS, many would think it's a misheard lyrics parody or even a person doing karaoke while trying to guess the words. Perhaps challenge yourself a tad more in that department. This parody was ok on a comedy end, but go for the juggular a bit, try to hit some punch lines. Song choice was ok, but I don't think I could have made this into a recording because even though Elton John is huge--this particular song is not among his hits. . .I believe that this was playing it safe, I can tell from your writing though--you are capable of far more than this.

Gianni Parmesiani's Festivus

(AmIRight Idol) To show the opposite, I have no idea what this song was about. I am sorry, but not being familiar with the topic I can't say that I found this terribly funny. The OS is an easy one to record, recognized by virtually everyone and is almost guaranteed to be recognized--however with such a song comes a challenge too--being over the top with a song like "Yesterday" or "Hey There Delilah" is very hard because so many people have done either full or mini parodies of them. One thing I advise is broader topics, however picking songs that were as big a hit as this one bodes well for a competition about recording.

Wolverine Forlorn for your Melbourne

(AmIRight Idol) This one Wolverine was--well--I can't say that I feel it was your best effort. Your pacing was solid, but as I said on Tenacious Lee's parody, too much of the OS takes away from the "you" quality. The other thing I want to point out is that a personal experience is another one of those narrow scope ideas that you really probably had to be there to find funny, because if not--this one was more a tribute to a large steak. What I will remind you is that is precisely why we have this first non-elimination round though so you guys can get an idea of what we are looking for. Agri was OTM also with his comment about no song being parody proof (even his Nina Hagen exception in my opinion-get me the song buddy--I'll prove that wrong:)) but doesn't necessarily make for easy or great parody material. .

As soon as Red Ant comments on all 11 parodies, I will start Round 2's thread. . .

This round was non-elimination and more to give you guys an idea in what we are looking for, had this been a regular round. . .

My top tier (in alphabetical order) would have been

Ann Hammond
Ethan Mawyer
Matthias
Stephen Harrington

You guys won't get to see our individual votes in the regular rounds, but that is meant to give you an idea of what we are looking for in recording

Recordability (pacing, song choice, rhyme scheme etc)

Topic Choice (Funny to broad groups, ability to carry topic through song)

Comedy (LOL lines, overall storyline, edgy)

Those are my big things (as I'm sure you guys have seen)

Hope you guys enjoyed round 1, Ant's coming soon---

I've commented on all parodies now. Good to see so many entrants into this competition and the initial round was pretty good. I'd invite all entrants to read the comments we left on all parodies, not just their own: there is a lot of good information to be found.

Like Dave, I focused more on the recordability of these entries than anything else. What I'm looking for as far as that goes is intuitive scansion (which is not always a syllable perfect write), humor and the availability of a backing track.

Ant