Behold, the story of

The Fridge Penguin

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/9628/fpappearskm2.jpg

Please strap on your dancing shoes, brothers and sisters,
and gr-rooove along to the hep beats of
the funky, with-it, now! story of ...


Fridge Penguin Superstar

http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/903/fpadorationmg7.jpg

Now I understand this concept may not appeal to some folks (coughchristiansmuslimsbuddhistsscientologistsetccough) who I advise to look away now, but it might appeal to others. 


8)*waits until the first group leave the room* 8)


If anybody wants to provide a Fridge Penguin parody of a Godspell or Jesus Christ Superstar song, or of a hymn or psalm, please post the links on this thread.

If there are enough (or any :-\\) I will compile them into a musical (or a collection at least) to be posted under "The Fridge Penguin" author name as a whole, like "Pirates Who Penstanzas" etc.. 

Before you start though, please acquaint yourself with the story of The Fridge Penguin, as it has evolved through the ages, so the tangent you take will be consistent with previous writings, doctrines and theology.

Please also advise which OS you'll be doing before you start, so other parodists can choose different OS-es


Background to The Fridge Penguin

When I was 4, I couldn't work out how the light inside the refrigerator turned off when I closed the door. My stepmother explained that a little penguin climbs out of his secret fridge cubby and flicks the switch. I believed in the fridge penguin, and began to leave money for him as a gift, which my stepmother passed on. When I grew up and got a job, I left more money, which my stepmother also collected. She said if I didn't keep proving my faith with donations, the Fridge Penguin would smite me and I would rot in hell. Understandably, I still believe in him now. I hate infidels who claim he's a fridge walrus (that's ridiculous) - and I forgive skeptical scientist eggheads who carry on about some electric button theory....................



7 more things you should know about The Fridge Penguin

1 He is alert 24/7.  Yep!  It doesn't matter what time you close the fridge door, He always turns the light off.  That proves He is not borne of earthly penguins, who are notoriously un-alert.

2.  When I told my 11 primary school friends (who very much resembled the cast of South Park) about the Fridge Penguin fridge-light explanation, they enthusiastically accepted His existence, as they had been wondering the same thing, and together the 12 of us discussed him interminably. 

3.  The Fridge Penguin became all the more intriguing for the fact that we could never see Him.  We began writing stories/epistles about Him to explain hard-to-understand phenomena that He may have been responsible for.  We figured that since He was already there, maybe it's Him that keeps the food cold, and maybe it's Him that sets jelly.

4.  We started to theorise that maybe The Fridge Penguin was pro-active in helping us out.  For instance, one day there was a fish in the fridge.  The next day there were 5.  Clearly The Fridge Penguin had the ability to miraculously expand quantities of food.

5.  So powerful and satisfying did the Fridge Penguin explanation become, that we began attributing everything that happened in our lives to His omnipresent control.  When my chocolate bars that I hid in the fridge went missing, we decided it was because The Fridge Penguin moves in mysterious ways.  We also realised that the Fridge Penguin obviously likes sacrifices, so we began to leave chocolate and money in the fridge for Him.  All duly disappeared, confirming our faith.

6.  We started to wonder where this fantastic being had come from.  With his 24/7 alertness, surely He was not borne of earthly penguin parents.  We decided He must have been sent to the fridge from Heaven one night.  My friend Peter believed it was the night when he saw a comet light up the sky.  We are absolutely positive he was right.

7.  We wondered about The Fridge Penguin's loneliness, and decided that He might have had a partner in there.  Since we couldn't see The Fridge Penguin, maybe there was The Fridge Penguin and The Fridge Magdalene in there.

8.  More stories (er, books) are to come, as our imaginations blow up His deeds to ridiculous extremes. 

A-a-a-a-a-a-
- men!

So, for this musical: what sort of plot-line were you thinking?  What first popped into my head was a sceptical Herod-type psychoanalyst - would this fit?  (Mainly 'cause I love Herod's song in JCS, and want to get in there quick to claim it ;))

With my happy feet surfing up a snowstorm in the chilly willy, I will march along to your farce of the penguin as soon as I can think of something, oh Emporer of humor.

So, for this musical: what sort of plot-line were you thinking?  What first popped into my head was a sceptical Herod-type psychoanalyst - would this fit?  (Mainly 'cause I love Herod's song in JCS, and want to get in there quick to claim it ;))



well, I have to declare myself, Phil - I am most satirical about this - organised religion is a scourge with the potential to bring down the human race - people too lazy to work out what they really believe about life and death hitch themselves to an organised religion that has done all the work for them (usually they don't even hitch themselves - they inherit the belief from their parents like a genetic virus)

Thus the organised religions thrive on their donations, and on the capital gain from property they've owned for millenia, and are painted into a corner where they have to perpetuate their religion so they can all keep their jobs, or so they can avoid personal truths that being forced to live in the real world may expose.

This then leads to crazy psycho fundamentalist subsets, which leads to terrorism, which leads to evil, which is ironically the exact opposite of what organised religion claims to be about.

and all this is at the expense of truth, which should be, in fact IS, the REAL god - unattainable, good, and a goal that mankind/life forms have honestly and naturally been evolving towards since prehistory

but enough about me

A psychiatrist doubting the sanity of those that beilieve in the fridge penguin (when there's a button there that is obviously doing his job for him) is a perfect match for Herod in my opinion.

I cannot wait to see your take on it

With Ag, it might be just the three of us, but that's absolutely fine

btw:  I want to do Hosanna  just so I can use the sub "FP" for "JC" :)

With my happy feet surfing up a snowstorm in the chilly willy, I will march along to your farce of the penguin as soon as I can think of something, oh Emporer of humor.



welcome aboard Ag! :)

I'm in too...too funny to resist!

I'm in too...too funny to resist!



yay, Jeff!! :D

Hell... If you can't mock yourself who can you mock.

I'm in...

(Time to go watch some South Park for inspiration)

I'm thinking about maybe his best friend or closest advisor/sidekick being a puffin.  Like maybe a John the Baptist character.

http://www.thescreamonline.com/photo/photo2-2/isaac/puffin.html
http://www.thescreamonline.com/photo/photo2-2/isaac/puffin.html

I'm thinking about maybe his best friend or closest advisor/sidekick being a puffin.  Like maybe a John the Baptist character.

http://www.thescreamonline.com/photo/photo2-2/isaac/puffin.html
http://www.thescreamonline.com/photo/photo2-2/isaac/puffin.html


Or Judas??????

I'm thinking of "Pilate's Dream" for the time being as a contribution

I want to have the 2nd coming of the Fridge Penguin.... What's a higher technology than a fridge?

I want to have the 2nd coming of the Fridge Penguin.... What's a higher technology than a fridge?


A stand-alone freezer.

I want to have the 2nd coming of the Fridge Penguin.... What's a higher technology than a fridge?

Something involving cryogenics, I imagine.  So instead of the Fridge Penguin being crucified, he can be Cryo-cified, and then come back some thousand years later, ala Futurama

Well, I'll have to put my musical about the garage-door-opening beavers on hold for a while, but....count me in! (Time to up my prescription....)  ;D

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/amc0442l.jpg

I want to do a parody to "What's The Buzz" from Jesus Christ Superstar

Well, I'll have to put my musical about the garage-door-opening beavers on hold for a while, but....count me in! (Time to up my prescription....)  ;D

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/amc0442l.jpg


wha-hey! with the cartoon KR! :)

I want to do a parody to "What's The Buzz" from Jesus Christ Superstar



I was thinking that would be perfect to use - go for it Matty :)

Posted today: The Fridge Penguin - Book 2

to "Hosanna Heysanna Sanna Sanna Ho"


Most Reverend Fridge Penguin Living In The Fridge

:D :D

Would Christian Rock also work for this musical?

Would Christian Rock also work for this musical?



absolutely Matty (and what a target!) - anything with a religious theme where you can invent parallels for the Fridge Penguin, and Christian Rock almost sends itself up, so half the work is already done.

I won't be connecting submissions with a narrative like with your White Trash Album or Pirates Who Penstanzas or Brangelina, so I'll just bracket similarly themed parodies together - unless an obvious storyline between some of them develops.

The benefit of having no narrative is that everyone has total carte blanche to take any religious original work and do what you like with it, as long as the deity is replaced by The Fridge Penguin

For instance "Away In  a Manger" could become "One Day in Kelvinator, in his little Fridge bed, the little Fridge Penguin re-chilled the cheese spread"

etc. etc.

absolutely Matty (and what a target!) - anything with a religious theme where you can invent parallels for the Fridge Penguin, and Christian Rock almost sends itself up, so half the work is already done.

I won't be connecting submissions with a narrative like with your White Trash Album or Pirates Who Penstanzas or Brangelina, so I'll just bracket similarly themed parodies together - unless an obvious storyline between some of them develops.

The benefit of having no narrative is that everyone has total carte blanche to take any religious original work and do what you like with it, as long as the deity is replaced by The Fridge Penguin

For instance "Away In  a Manger" could become "One Day in Kelvinator, in his little Fridge bed, the little Fridge Penguin re-chilled the cheese spread"

etc. etc.


Sweet! In that case I'm going to start working on "What If You Lived In A Fridge" to "What If God Was One Of Us"

Stu,

I'm thinking of the Fridge Penguin's right-flipper man as the Freezer Puffin, whose sole duty is to make sure the ice maker shuts off before it overflows.  Puffin is FP's most trusted disciple, but since the freezer doesn't have a light bulb, Puffin sometimes gets lonely and resentful of getting no light (I think Scandinavians can relate ;D).  This will result in changing "Damned for all Time" to "Dark for all Time," since the only light that ever enters the freezer is when you open the door, but he's always in his cubbyhole when that happens.

This is your brainchild, so what do you think?

Stu,

I'm thinking of the Fridge Penguin's right-flipper man as the Freezer Puffin, whose sole duty is to make sure the ice maker shuts off before it overflows.  Puffin is FP's most trusted disciple, but since the freezer doesn't have a light bulb, Puffin sometimes gets lonely and resentful of getting no light (I think Scandinavians can relate ;D).  This will result in changing "Damned for all Time" to "Dark for all Time," since the only light that ever enters the freezer is when you open the door, but he's always in his cubbyhole when that happens.

This is your brainchild, so what do you think?


wow, I was just thinking we need a right-flipper man, and we need to resolve a lightbulb-less over-flowing freezer issue...
imagine the odds!

love the development - take it and run with it McKludge, with your usual aplomb - can't wait to see the results :)

Sweet! In that case I'm going to start working on "What If You Lived In A Fridge" to "What If God Was One Of Us"

Or "What, a fridge stacked full of cheeses?" to "What a friend we have in Jesus"?

Fridge Penguin Knows.......

OK, so the OS isn't from JCSS or Godspell, but it does have "God" in the title....I'm really reaching, aren't I? If you think it'll fit, Stu, use it whichever way you like....

Background to The Fridge Penguin

When I was 4, I couldn't work out how the light inside the refrigerator turned off when I closed the door. My stepmother explained that a little penguin climbs out of his secret fridge cubby and flicks the switch. I believed in the fridge penguin, and began to leave money for him as a gift, which my stepmother passed on. When I grew up and got a job, I left more money, which my stepmother also collected. She said if I didn't keep proving my faith with donations, the Fridge Penguin would smite me and I would rot in hell. Understandably, I still believe in him now. I hate infidels who claim he's a fridge walrus (that's ridiculous) - and I forgive skeptical scientist eggheads who carry on about some electric button theory....................




You mean it's not a little man?  :\'(

This was my favourite song as a child - no idea who it's by, my parents had the record

There's a little man in the fridge
Living with the ham and the butter.
All he does is stand in the fridge
Waiting till you open the shutter.
Funny little man with the nightie on
And when I asked him what he did
He said "I put the lightie on."

You mean it's not a little man?  :\'(

This was my favourite song as a child - no idea who it's by, my parents had the record

There's a little man in the fridge
Living with the ham and the butter.
All he does is stand in the fridge
Waiting till you open the shutter.
Funny little man with the nightie on
And when I asked him what he did
He said "I put the lightie on."

HERETIC!  BURN... I MEAN FREEZE THE HERETIC

He's The Fridge Penguin
http://www.studentsoftheworld.info/sites/games/img/7374_Cowboy.gif

Coming Tomorrow!!!

A country song about The Fridge Penguin...

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIxcOI0zUgo

I will claim "I Don't Know How To Love Him" if there aren't any objections.

"Penguin Dream" will arrive tomorrow.

http://www.eleykishimoto.com/blog/the-penguin-judge-2.jpg
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/tobykeith38.shtml

Not familer with Toby Keith? Don't worry not a lot of non-rednecks are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIxcOI0zUgo

You mean it's not a little man?   :\'(

This was my favourite song as a child - no idea who it's by, my parents had the record

There's a little man in the fridge
Living with the ham and the butter.
All he does is stand in the fridge
Waiting till you open the shutter.
Funny little man with the nightie on
And when I asked him what he did
He said "I put the lightie on."


I've never heard that song, Karen, but I wouldn't be surprised if that was the "Genesis" of the Fridge Penguin story - proof that details can adjust themselves after milennia of repeated telling ;)

In the  beginning was the Smeg, and the Smeg was cool.  Thus sayeth the prophet Zanussi (well known for making a Miele of things), though he may have had a (Hot)point.  The great Goddess Electrolux and the mighty Bosch had a child, a Penguin, destined to be the mightiest of them all...

But there were sceptics

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/fromjesuschristsuperstar0.shtml

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/fromjesuschristsuperstar1.shtml

The original submission was incorrectly titled, and has been removed.

http://www.eleykishimoto.com/blog/the-penguin-judge-2.jpg
http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/tobykeith38.shtml

Not familer with Toby Keith? Don't worry not a lot of non-rednecks are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIxcOI0zUgo

Oy vei, that penguin is disturbing

I'm going to to a parody featuring the Penguintologist approach to this whole Lightbulb Myth.

In case you peons don't know here are the facts about Penguintology...

1. There is no Fridge Penguin
2. Penguins from Antarctica help you to power the light in your fridge by sending you fish from Pingu.
3. The main tool of Penguintology is the Refrigerator, the chemicals from the fish you eat combined with the spirit inside your body send waves that power the lightbulb depending on how strong your inner spirit is equals how bright the lightbulb inside the fridge is.

Here's how it all happened....
   - The reason why the chemicals in the fish you eat escape in order to turn on the light is because on the planet Pingu the penguins lived in the dark. Pingu was a completely darkened planet with a tropical climate. They couldn't find food so the penguins started anything that they could get ahold of. What they did get ahold of was fish. The penguins found out that when they ate the fish they were able to see things that they never were able to see before. Mainly, everything. The walruses also tried eating the fish, but were still unable to see anything. So because they were jealous of the penguins the walruses froze them and shipped them to Earth. The dumped the frozen penguins in a place where they thought nobody would be able to survive, Antarctica. Since Antarctica's an island there were plenty of fish to eat which made them be able to see the place they were living in. Since the pengins were sad that they were banished from Pingu they sent the power of creating light they had up into the heavens. This power was caught in a galatic net at the end of the Universe and became the sun, but some power was left on Earth for people who ate the fish, as well as people who had the spirit of Pingu inside of them due to the Sun. The spirit resides in your brain which is why they call fish "brain food". Blind people do not have the spirit of Pingu, but the spirit of Walleye which is where the Walruses were originally from before they invaded Pingu. The penguins hope to gain enough power from the people on Earth that they can leave the island of Antarctica and return to Pingu in order to go to war with the walruses.

I'm going to to a parody featuring the Penguintologist approach to this whole Lightbulb Myth.

In case you peons don't know here are the facts about Penguintology...

1. There is no Fridge Penguin
2. Penguins from Antarctica help you to power the light in your fridge by sending you fish from Pingu.
3. The main tool of Penguintology is the Refrigerator, the chemicals from the fish you eat combined with the spirit inside your body send waves that power the lightbulb depending on how strong your inner spirit is equals how bright the lightbulb inside the fridge is.

Here's how it all happened....
   - The reason why the chemicals in the fish you eat escape in order to turn on the light is because on the planet Pingu the penguins lived in the dark. Pingu was a completely darkened planet with a tropical climate. They couldn't find food so the penguins started anything that they could get ahold of. What they did get ahold of was fish. The penguins found out that when they ate the fish they were able to see things that they never were able to see before. Mainly, everything. The walruses also tried eating the fish, but were still unable to see anything. So because they were jealous of the penguins the walruses froze them and shipped them to Earth. The dumped the frozen penguins in a place where they thought nobody would be able to survive, Antarctica. Since Antarctica's an island there were plenty of fish to eat which made them be able to see the place they were living in. Since the pengins were sad that they were banished from Pingu they sent the power of creating light they had up into the heavens. This power was caught in a galatic net at the end of the Universe and became the sun, but some power was left on Earth for people who ate the fish, as well as people who had the spirit of Pingu inside of them due to the Sun. The spirit resides in your brain which is why they call fish "brain food". Blind people do not have the spirit of Pingu, but the spirit of Walleye which is where the Walruses were originally from before they invaded Pingu. The penguins hope to gain enough power from the people on Earth that they can leave the island of Antarctica and return to Pingu in order to go to war with the walruses.




that's hilarious Matthias ;D

.....er, I mean that's ridiculous Matthias! >:(

You and your Penguintologists may have snagged some very famous followers, but it's pretty darned obvious that Fridge Penguin was sent by God from Heaven to do all the things that we don't understand, and was not borne out of an earthly Penguinian womb.  It's bloody obvious.  My friend Peter SAW the frickin' comet that delivered him to Earth for Pete's sake!  That one fish turned into FIVE frickin' fish for Pete's sake.  Fridge Penguin never sleeps an earthly slumber for Pete's sake.  He sets the frickin' jelly for Pete's sake.

Read the Westinghouse users manual if you don't believe me.  (Don't read the Fridge Walrus's version though)

How does your Penguintology explain all that then?  Hmm?

(sheesh, some people would believe anything ::))

Um, I don't know but some of this explains why they went nuts, tried to take over the world, and ended up with hookers in Mexico.

http://www.linuxwallpapers.org/linux-penguin/alien-linux.gif

You're right Stuart... But just to be on the safe side, I wouldn't take a trip to the Walrus star Walleye anytime soon.

Are you clear on all that, Matthias?  ;)

Read the Westinghouse users manual if you don't believe me.  (Don't read the Fridge Walrus's version though)

The Fridge Walrus heresy, I believe, was contained in the frozen verses, or Icepackrypha.  There is a tale that the Fridge Walrus was spotted in a Westinghouse, having failed to turn the light on... when asked why, lo! the Fridge Walrus replied: "I'm westing"...

When asked to prove that he was the Fridge Walrus, He is said to have replied:

I am He
And I'm icy
'Cause it is free-
Zing in t' refrigerator
I'm number one
The Penguin is gone
He had to fly
...
I see what you're thinkin'
I ain't no Penguin
I'm the Fridge Walrus.. coo- coo- coo- cool!

Obviously, the texts concerning the FW heresy were burned in the library of Elecroluxandria, so the above hymn is incomplete.

The Fridge Walrus heresy, I believe, was contained in the frozen verses, or Icepackrypha.  There is a tale that the Fridge Walrus was spotted in a Westinghouse, having failed to turn the light on... when asked why, lo! the Fridge Walrus replied: "I'm westing"...

When asked to prove that he was the Fridge Walrus, He is said to have replied:

I am He
And I'm icy
'Cause it is free-
Zing in t' refrigerator
I'm number one
The Penguin is gone
He had to fly
...
I see what you're thinkin'
I ain't no Penguin
I'm the Fridge Walrus.. coo- coo- coo- cool!

Obviously, the texts concerning the FW heresy were burned in the library of Elecroluxandria, so the above hymn is incomplete.


The Fridge Walrus is otherwise known as The Antipenguin. Sometimes called Old Tusk by good folken, his mark is 39 (degrees F).

The first and only Penguintology hymn... http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/jesuschristsuperstar7.shtml

I sooo want to contribute to this project, Stu, but while pondering the topic, I had an epiphany:

God does exist!  And I can prove it! But It's not the FP...  :-Ant

I was directed to this website by members of my church, who claim blasphemous material has been posted on a parody site related to this message board.  I have not had time to visit the site to read the material, but you should know that it is a sin against God to question His existence and the faith of his servants.  God Himself commands us not to worship false idols.  Our religion has been around for a long time, and our unquestioning faith in our belief has been rewarded by the certainty it provides us as we search for answers in life.  My constituents and I find it offensive that material proclaiming the existence of an alternative God should be published at all.  Remove it at once please. Porcelain God is as great a sacriligious mockery as The Fridge Walrus, The AntiPenguin, and Peguintologists.  There is only the one God, and his name is "Fridge Penguin"      

I was directed to this website by members of my church, who claim blasphemous material has been posted on a parody site related to this message board.  I have not had time to visit the site to read the material, but you should know that it is a sin against God to question His existence and the faith of his servants.  God Himself commands us not to worship false idols.  Our religion has been around for a long time, and our unquestioning faith in our belief has been rewarded by the certainty it provides us as we search for answers in life.  My constituents and I find it offensive that material proclaiming the existence of an alternative God should be published at all.  Remove it at once please. Porcelain God is as great a sacriligious mockery as The Fridge Walrus, The AntiPenguin, and Peguintologists.  There is only the one God, and his name is "Fridge Penguin"     


At first, I was about to rant on your comment, until I got to the end. . .hilarious.

I was directed to this website by members of my church, who claim blasphemous material has been posted on a parody site related to this message board.  I have not had time to visit the site to read the material, but you should know that it is a sin against God to question His existence and the faith of his servants.  God Himself commands us not to worship false idols.  Our religion has been around for a long time, and our unquestioning faith in our belief has been rewarded by the certainty it provides us as we search for answers in life.  My constituents and I find it offensive that material proclaiming the existence of an alternative God should be published at all.  Remove it at once please. Porcelain God is as great a sacriligious mockery as The Fridge Walrus, The AntiPenguin, and Peguintologists.  There is only the one God, and his name is "Fridge Penguin"      


How dare you, infidel! You shant not speak ill of the Porcelain God. I know you, even YOU have knelt before It. Such heresy will be punished. I claim the Holey Rite of ....

JIHAD!!!

The streets will flow with the turds of the non-relievers! We will decrapitate anyone who stands against us! And TP your house!! Fear us!!!

Ant

How dare you, infidel! You shant not speak ill of the Porcelain God. I know you, even YOU have knelt before It. Such heresy will be punished. I claim the Holey Rite of ....

JIHAD!!!

The streets will flow with the turds of the non-relievers! We will decrapitate anyone who stands against us! And TP your house!! Fear us!!!

Ant


oh yeah? We have a manual 8)

Do you have a manual?

Hmm?

oh yeah? We have a manual 8)

Do you have a manual?

Hmm?




You eedyot! Toilets work automatically.

We use whatever manual is handy: the daily news, Hustler, The Sears Catalog (for when TP forsakes us), Redbook... okay, forget I mention dat last one.

Our secret (and secrete) text is none other than Stephen King's "IT". Duh. And it's a thick book with a lot of words and pages, and it's hardbound, so.. it's... it's... um... it's...  IT!!! Can't fault my logic! Mwahahahaha!!!!

Ant

Done with Scientology now on to something even crazier... "Jehovah's Witness" aka "Door To Door Refrigerator Salesmen"...
I'll try to work out something with this in mind.

                                          THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE FRIDGE PENGUIN

Nine eyes have seen the Glory of the Penguin of the Fridge
(One guy who lied just lost an eye for words of sacrilege)
And if we see you blasphemy we'll smite you like a midge
Fridge Penguin conquers all!

CHORUS

Glory, glory to Fridge Penguin
Though, Commandments only reach Ten
This, then would have been Eleven
"Fridge Penguin's Word is Law"

We have seen him turn the light out 'bout a hundred thousand times
If you doubt HIM at the alter we'll denounce you for your crimes
Then we'll cut your heathen tongue out and you'll live a life of mime
Fridge Penguin's Word is Law!

Chorus

You might have heard the story of the Penguintologists
And what happened to them once we heard the Fridge Penguin was dissed
We smote the mongrel horde and made them Cease and then Desist
Fridge Penguin's Word is Law!

Chorus

Fridge Penguin does his duty with a Sisyphus resolve
And his staunch determination let the human race evolve
So keep the faith 'less the entire universe dissolve
Fridge Penguin....Word of God!