Fourscore and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedication to the proposition that SPAFF RULES.

I was going to do a long speech extolling the wondrous achievements of the "ass-toot" Mr. Dotcom.  But every time I do that, the bass turd turns around and says something even nicer about me, so forget about it.  He stinks, but somehow he won again.  Go figure.

Also, hearty congratulations to the magnificent runners-up, Kristof and Stu, who both came on very impressively this year, as well as -- well, lots of people did quite well this year so congratulations to you all too.

As always, my numbers are probably wrong and I did it on purpose so ha ha.




Spaff.com 30 + 14 + 44 + 56 + 38 + 35 + 69 + 51 + 62= 355
Kristof 27 + 34 + 17 + 60 + 36 + 25 + 21 + 41 + 26 + 52 + 44 = 294
Stu 10 + 36 + 31 + 11 + 19 + 48 + 46 + 26 + 21 + 48 + 8 = 256
Claude Prez 57 + 26 + 45 + 13 + 39 + 22 + 30  + 7 + 34 = 253
Phil Alexander 19 + 7 + 32 + 32 + 21 + 1 + 25 + 28 + 10 + 19 + 11 + 23 + 52 = 213
Rick Cormier 9 + 28 + 20 + 19 + 16 + 8 + 47 + 32 + 43 = 205
Johnny D 36 + 20 + 32 + 1 + 11 + 1 + 25 + 39 + 6 + 4 + 1 + 8 = 171
Jeff Reuben 14 + 19 + 23 + 26 + 17 + 50 + 15 + 2 = 164
Red Ant 18 + 5 + 35 + 15 + 6+ 18 + 30 + 7 + 23 = 146
Arwen 11 + 8 + 4 + 22 + 21 + 15 + 20 + 17 + 18 + 12 + 30 = 143
John Jenkins 21 + 27 + 26 + 8 + 41 = 123
2nz 11 + 29 + 1 + 31 + 16 + 24 = 112
Peter Andersson aka K1chyd 1 + 3 + 7 + 32 + 5 + 13 + 1 + 4 + 39 + 6 = 106
Luke Brattoni 9 + 3 + 3 + 5 + 10 + 2 + 3 + 5 + 18 + 30 = 80
Tim Mayfield 16 + 16 + 3 + 1 + 7 + 8 + 5 + 10 + 5 + 16 + 6 = 79
Dee Range 40 + 17 + 7 + 13 = 77
Agrimorfee 8 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 7 + 1 + 3 + 16 + 20 = 63
Charlie Decker 2 + 9 + 10 + 26 + 14 = 61
Adam E. 4 + 18 + 27 + 10 = 59
MooRocca 6 + 9 + 33 = 48
Matthias 2 + 17 + 27 = 46
Ethan 9 + 4 + 8 + 15 + 9 = 45
Adagio 1+ 14 + 3 + 4 + 4 + 17 = 43
EmiLoca 37
Scathe 9 + 9 + 6 + 3 + 2 + 8 = 37
wannabemustangjockey 14 + 11 + 9 + 2 = 36
Guy DiRito10 + 3 + 19 + 1 = 33
Larry Hensley 2 + 3 + 25 = 30
Rick Duncan 21
Leo Jay 19
Rex Ungericht 6 + 3 + 7 = 16
Chris Frederick 15
Robert J. Pagliaro 13
Mike Armstrong 9 + 4 = 13
Dumb *ss Kid 5 + 3 + 5 = 13
Mikey Squirrel 4 + 4 + 5 = 13
Ash 6
MysteryGoat 5 + 1 = 6
Dr. Bob 4
Dominic L. 3 + 1 = 4
Your Worst Nightmare 4
Silver Power 2
ThaConquerorofparodies 2


Also, I have a horrible idea for how to make this interesting next year if anyone wants to hear it.  Okay, even if no one wants to hear it:  In a nutshell, we use the 2006 PAOTY list as a way to seed a tournament bracket.  It would be a gigantic mess of headaches, and lots of fun.  Let me know if you want to hear more, or else just pretend you didn't see this all the way at the bottom here and it'll be just like it never happened.

Congratulations, Spaff!!!  And to everybody else who made him work hard this year.  I have a hunch he is going to have to work even harder in 2006.


Also, I have a horrible idea for how to make this interesting next year if anyone wants to hear it.  Okay, even if no one wants to hear it:  In a nutshell, we use the 2006 PAOTY list as a way to seed a tournament bracket.  It would be a gigantic mess of headaches, and lots of fun.  Let me know if you want to hear more, or else just pretend you didn't see this all the way at the bottom here and it'll be just like it never happened.


Claude, if the headaches you are talking about are your headaches, and the fun you are talking about is my fun, I want to hear more about it.

Congrats Spaff (jee, there's a surprise  ::)) and everyone else. 9th place for me, nice.



Also, I have a horrible idea for how to make this interesting next year if anyone wants to hear it.  Okay, even if no one wants to hear it:  In a nutshell, we use the 2006 PAOTY list as a way to seed a tournament bracket.  It would be a gigantic mess of headaches, and lots of fun.  Let me know if you want to hear more, or else just pretend you didn't see this all the way at the bottom here and it'll be just like it never happened.


I assume you meant the 2005 PAOTY list since the 2006 list hasn't started. I can't see how brackets would work really, but like John Jenkins I'm interested in what you propose.

First of all, congratulations, Mighty Spaff !  ;D

I like your PAOTY-list tournament idea, Claude --- tell us more, please! 

Big congrats Spaff.  I'm sure that all the inhabitants of the planet you come from will be rejoicing.  Back here on Earth, we just read and marvel. 

Threepeat?  Depends if there's any strength left in the awesome Kristof trajectory of 2005, as he's about the only bloke I can imagine giving you a run for your money

Bravo!

Depends if there's any strength left in the awesome Kristof trajectory of 2005, as he's about the only bloke I can imagine giving you a run for your money.


Hey! I was only 339 back. Oh... I see what you mean... :-[

I was planning to reprise my comment from last year when my overall was sub 30 something and Spaff's overall was running away towards 200 or the like, that we both ended up with the same figure as our approximate IQ, but since I apparently got over 100 now and Spaff didn't get up to the 400 to which his IQ must have risen by now such a comment would be dead wrong on both accounts!

And as if that wasn't enough he gets away with less re-reading in the SOTY than the rest of us because he doesn't need to reevaluate all his own parodies being in there after finishing high in SOTMs! So now the bastard gets even more time left to write/run away from the rest of us, or hang out with his groupies at the Spaffboy Mansion Pool! :P

Spaff won? WOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Where the heck did that come from?
And I feel like my Wombatty hands are getting friction burn trying to hold on to Kristof and Stu's coattails.

Keep rambling, Claude, I'm listening.

Thank you, Jon Stewart. Thank you, Academy. Thank you, voters.

When Claude Prez first approached me about being in a gay cowboy movie he was directing, I was incredulous. "Gay cowboy movie?" I asked. "You mean like Oklahoma!"?

"No, no," he reassured me. "Not that gay."

Still, I had my reservations. I mean, I'm not that way. I'm not part of that lifestyle. I was worried that it would stereotype me as being one of them, and potentially hurt my chances for future roles. Besides, what would middle America think? There's still a lot of intolerance out there, you know. I was afraid of going through life with people thinking that I'm, you know, a cowboy.

Plus, there was the moral conflict. I grew up in a religious home in a conservative community. While my parents were (and are) loving, tolerant people, the message was clear: God does not approve of the cowboy lifestyle.

But when I read the beautifully realized script, I knew I had to go through with this. And I'm glad I did. It shattered my preconceived notions of what cowboys are really like. The main thing I learned was this: Cowboys are just like you and me. Sure, they talk different. They walk different. They tend to wear much more leather. And, instead of women, they hang out with cows. But other than that, they are pretty much exactly the same as the rest of us.

I still don't know whether cowboys are born that way or whether something in their early years kinda pushes them toward roping steers. Heck, maybe they just CHOOSE TO BE cowboys. The point is, it doesn't matter to me any more. I accept cowboys for who they are, and I'm proud to have been, er, portrayed one.

I thank my fellow performers, Kristof and Stuart, for joining me onstage for this special moment. They are two of the finest cowboys, I mean song parodists, I've ever had the pleasure to rope, I mean work, with. Throughout this entire process, we challenged each other - and really, you know, probed the depths of our creativity.

I look forward to more cowboy roles and I'll bet that they do too. Sometimes I'll play with my lasso just for the heck of it. And I definitely keep in touch with all of the cowboy friends I've made; they throw some GREAT parties. To them, and to all of you, I say YEEEEHAWWW!

Thank you again for this honor.

xoxox
Spaff

Congratulations to Spaff, Kristof, Stu and all of the other comic geniuses around here!

Also, I have a horrible idea for how to make this interesting next year if anyone wants to hear it.  Okay, even if no one wants to hear it:  In a nutshell, we use the 2006 PAOTY list as a way to seed a tournament bracket.  It would be a gigantic mess of headaches, and lots of fun. 

But the end result will be the same anyway!
With all due respect to Spaff, you know I love him, but perhaps he could retire the throne to another worthy. Perhaps we could endow the title of Parody King Emeritus to the man that we all know as Spaff.Com?

With all due respect to Spaff, you know I love him, but perhaps he could retire the throne to another worthy.


You're just cowboyphobic.

Actually, Aggro, I've already decided to take a break from SOTM participation. I didn't enter for January or February, and I don't know if or when I will again. I love love love the SOTMs, so I can't promise to stay away forever (I might start suffering violent withdrawals), but at least for now you can consider me on an indefinite leave.

xoxox
Spaff

BEHOLD The Mighty Spaff pressing "PROCESS"

Actually, Aggro, I've already decided to take a break from SOTM participation. I didn't enter for January or February, and I don't know if or when I will again. I love love love the SOTMs, so I can't promise to stay away forever (I might start suffering violent withdrawals), but at least for now you can consider me on an indefinite leave.


"Congratulations on winning the golf tournament. Of course, Tiger Woods wasn't playing."

Your absence will still loom large.

You're just cowboyphobic.

Actually, Aggro, I've already decided to take a break from SOTM participation. I didn't enter for January or February, and I don't know if or when I will again. I love love love the SOTMs, so I can't promise to stay away forever (I might start suffering violent withdrawals), but at least for now you can consider me on an indefinite leave.

xoxox
Spaff


As long as you keep writing and recording.

BEHOLD The Mighty Spaff pressing "PROCESS"


With which hand?

Thanx, guys.
Jeff: I'm not quite dead.

xoxox
Spaff

...consider me on an indefinite leave.


Going on a mission to Bozeman, Montana?

... consider me on an indefinite leave.



I think Spaff's been secretly summoned by Uncle Sam for a covert operation.

Now... Somebody (other than yours truly), please, write a parody describing what Spaff's secret mission is!    ;D

Congratulations, Darth Spaff....I am honoured to be your bridesmaid (as long as you don't make me wear teal....). Don't stay away too long, dude.
Congrats also to my good buddy and fellow Wombat, Mr McArthur. Two Aussies placing in the top three? All those "dumb downunder" jokes can now be retracted, forthwith! And thanks to all those who supported me thru '05....it was a fun year for me, parodywise...and I think it'll be quite a stretch for me to keep up the momentum.
But...I'll try!
Ciao

Yes, the Mighty Spaff.com does rule. So does Kristof. So does Stuart. As they take the podium to recieve their 2005 medals, the crowd looks on in admiration.

These three bring such color to Parodyville, with their eloquence and humor. The world is a brighter place.

Two Aussies placing in the top three? All those "dumb downunder" jokes can now be retracted, forthwith!

From now on, we'll only make clever downunder jokes  :D

I think Spaff's been secretly summoned by Uncle Sam for a covert operation.



At first I read this as "secretly summoned by Uncle Sam for a convent operation"  :-[

I tuned in to see what happened in 2005 in the "Amiright Author of the Year Contest",  but it looks like you still have the 2004 Results up because Spaff won that...OH...WAIT...he won 2005, TOO?

Well, you don't have old PRob to kick around anymore...OH...WAIT...That's NIXON'S "concession" speech when he got beat by Pat Brown for Gov. of California WAY back in the 1960's...

Anyway, if anyone has had occasion to wonder (or give a Fat Rat's Patootie), after I discovered that I am seriously allergic to deadlines of any type or kind I decided that I couldn't/didn't want to play anymore...and I think that's going to have to be a permanent thing for me.

Well...anyway...CONGRATS, Spaff...Jeez, it's much easier to say when I'm not looking at it from the perspective of a Sore Loser...lol...


prob 

Now... Somebody (other than yours truly), please, write a parody describing what Spaff's secret mission is!     ;D


I bet big time Billy Joel fan Mr Pacholek could write up "Secret Utah Man" in a jiffy!

At first I read this as "secretly summoned by Uncle Sam for a convent operation"  :-[


Wouldn't that make it a secrete mission? 8)

Congrats Spaff, Kristof, and Stu.

Yeah, Spaff rules. It must be good to be the king, huh? And congrats to Kristof and Stu for very big numbers as well year round. I'm downright sick and tired of how talented you guys are. And good show to everybody up on that list. Congratulations on being able to say you mixed up your mad parody skillz with the best of 'em. You all rule.