I made the enormous mistake of d/l Gwen Stefani's new song "Wind It Up." It is, on the annoying scale, a magnitude of order worse than her "Hollaback Girl." "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" is more intellectually stimuating. It's perhaps worse than every bad disco song put together, maybe even worse than "It's A Small World" - I don't make those statements lightly.

I worked out an intro for it (her yodeling was ripped off from TSOM's "The Lonely Goatherd"), but just can't listen to this song ever again to finish the parody. It is that awful.

At the moment, I would be beyond thrilled if you guys and girls were to contribute to the complete trashing a song satire of this wretched piece of music on this thread. Here are the lyrics with which you have to work:

Video here! You must watch it! :  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qnE5-Ul7fV0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Wind It Up":

High on the hills with the lonely goatherd, lay-od-e-lay-od-e-lay-he-hoo
Yodell back with the girl and goatherd, lay-od-e-lay-od-e-low

Wind it up
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

(Yeah)
This is the key that makes us wind up
When the beat comes on, the girls all line up
And the boys all look, but no, they can't touch
But the girls want to know why the boys like us so much

They like way we dance, they like the way we work
They like that way that L.A.M.B. is going across my shirt
They like the way my pants, it compliments my shape (She's crazy, right?)
They like the way we react everytime we dance

Everytime the bass bangs, realize it calls your name
Let the beat wind you up, and don't stop till your time is up
Get in line now

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

You've got to let the beat get under your skin
You've got to open up, and let it all in
But see, once it gets in, the poppin' begins
And then you find out, why all the boys stare

They're trying to bite our style
Trying to study our approach
They like the way we do it, so original
I guess that they are slow, so they should leave the room
This beat is for the clubs, and cars that go

Everytime the bass bangs, realize it calls your name
Let the beat wind you up, and don't stop till your time is up
Get in line now

Uh, uh, uh, wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
(Ya'll ready)

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low

Uh huh, it's your moment
Uh huh, come on girl, you know you own it
Uh huh, you know your key is still tick-tockin'
Hell yeah, and you know they're watchin'

Get it girl, get it, get it girl
Get it girl, get it, get it girl
To the front, to the side,
To the back, but don't let him ride

Keep goin' girl, it's your night
Don't let him steal your light
I know he thinks you're fine and stuff
But does he know how to wind you up?
(Come on)

Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low, hey!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you feel dumber having read those lyrics, fear not; the effect is temporary and will pass in a few hours.

The idea I had was "Turn It Off", to which I already wrote a few lyrics. If you feel like writing something to these lyrics, please do so. Song satires are a favorite of mine, and, IMHO, should be done by everyone at least once.  So please, contribute to this thread. If we actually complete this parody, everyone who significantly contributes will get karma a day for a year. Yes, a year. If I could, I'd pay cash to see this song annihilated via parody.

Here's what I have so far:

....High on the charts is a song so stupid,
dame-scrotel-ing-an-inane-ass-tune
Hollaback is great compared to this turd
dumb-lyrics-say'n-oh-they-blow



Turn it off!

Turn it off!
uh, uh, uh
Turn it off!
uh, uh, uh


(Blegh!)
This is a song that makes us throw up
When the "beat" comes on, we hurl our bile up
Horrid noise, L.A.M.E. hook; it blows: is plain crude
Still then Gwen Stefani sounds like Dr. Ruth, on 'ludes


**********************************************************

I realize this is a big favor to ask of you all, and that you probably don't hate a song you've never heard, but I'm fairly certain, err, hopeful, that after the first time you hear it, the verses will come pouring in.