Any of youse done parodies of writings that aren't songs, like poems or prayers etc?
Don't post them here. This thread is only for me to post mine and claim glory to be lorded over the masses.
Some of you may be aware of a rather painful waxing of my masculine leg hair I endured prior to going drag to a friend's end-of-school formal. I've started parodying Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" depicting what would have happened if the hair removal had continued any further...

"The Shaven"

Tonsure of the crinite hairy. Why'd I let girls tweak and shear me?
Gonad depilation, furious polling. Crotch: a cutback knoll.
Well, my follicles a-flaxen got anti-hair dames a-waxin'
Having such fun, madly hackin' at my shaggy, lank-tressed pall.
"We need some secateurs," they uttered, wacky and cantankerous souls.
"Hoary whiskers- cut them all!"

Ah, their pinking shears dismembered the fuzz from my meek pudenda,
Soon electrolysing dreadlocks off my scrotum, burning holes.
Evilly they snipped and burrowed, plainly tried to cut a furrow.
Golden locks soon ceased to swallow up the contents of my smalls.
Now a bare and glabrous wastelands, pubic tangles took a fall.
Maimed; these hairless genitals.

O, my wilted nads were hurtin', bristles had been stropped and murdered.
Spill my villi? Such a spastic error, cleverness on hold.
I'd yell "Ow!" and feel the bleeding from my cuts, hairline receding.
Snipping scissors, torrid cleaving women scratched out chancrous sores.
Steel-blade garden shears were neat implements for the dangerous cause.
Grizzly bits soon stuffed with gauze.

Tresses freed, a full-mown jungle. Un-lanate gonads look mongol.
Hirsute piles, once had 'em. Curly, ulotrichous, rife in rolls.
But a pack of psycho madams must have mentally craved slashin'
Off my manly, comate package. Satchel now a shaven holt.
And my ass was shorn, coiffure 'do now a cloven shire a-polled.
Marvelous hair, those duffers stole.

to be continued...

I rewrote "The Road not taken" by robert frostt about the previous election. It's part of the plot of the book i wrote, which can be found byy clicking oon the www link by my name. here's the first verse:

Two men declared they were candidates
One Democrat and one GOP
Neither one seemed to, be that great
I wished that those two would share the fate
Of not winning the presidency

Once upon a squid-night dreary
While I pondered freak Tim Leary
Rover made me a quaint and curious
Dog-brew of half-rotten gore
While I grunted, sphincter gapping,
Suddenly there came a snapping
As of my bum gently crapping
Crapping through my sphincter's door
"Brown torpedo, 'tis", I muttered, 'crapping through my sphincter's door -
- finless, launching, nothing more."

Ka-ching and ka-ching! ;D

Any of youse done parodies of writings that aren't songs, like poems or prayers etc?
Don't post them here. This thread is only for me to post mine and claim glory to be lorded over the masses.
Some of you may be aware of a rather painful waxing of my masculine leg hair I endured prior to going drag to a friend's end-of-school formal. I've started parodying Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven" depicting what would have happened if the hair removal had continued any further...

"The Shaven"

Tonsure of the crinite hairy. Why'd I let girls tweak and shear me?
Gonad depilation, furious polling. Crotch: a cutback knoll.
Well, my follicles a-flaxen got anti-hair dames a-waxin'
Having such fun, madly hackin' at my shaggy, lank-tressed pall.
"We need some secateurs," they uttered, wacky and cantankerous souls.
"Hoary whiskers- cut them all!"

Ah, their pinking shears dismembered the fuzz from my meek pudenda,
Soon electrolysing dreadlocks off my scrotum, burning holes.
Evilly they snipped and burrowed, plainly tried to cut a furrow.
Golden locks soon ceased to swallow up the contents of my smalls.
Now a bare and glabrous wastelands, pubic tangles took a fall.
Maimed; these hairless genitals.

O, my wilted nads were hurtin', bristles had been stropped and murdered.
Spill my villi? Such a spastic error, cleverness on hold.
I'd yell "Ow!" and feel the bleeding from my cuts, hairline receding.
Snipping scissors, torrid cleaving women scratched out chancrous sores.
Steel-blade garden shears were neat implements for the dangerous cause.
Grizzly bits soon stuffed with gauze.

Tresses freed, a full-mown jungle. Un-lanate gonads look mongol.
Hirsute piles, once had 'em. Curly, ulotrichous, rife in rolls.
But a pack of psycho madams must have mentally craved slashin'
Off my manly, comate package. Satchel now a shaven holt.
And my a** was shorn, coiffure 'do now a cloven shire a-polled.
Marvelous hair, those duffers stole.

to be continued...


Chucky let a poem parody on the site.  It's also a parody of "The Raven".
Check out "The Cravin'" by Dee Range.
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/edgarallenpoe1.shtml

Did "The Raven" many years ago. Also did the entire "Wizard of Oz" movie, of which only the songs are here.

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/edgarallanpoe0.shtml

most of my early scripts are parodies of movies and pop culture in a Mel Brooksian style...only not as funny. 

Back in the day, I did a school-newspaper Seuss-off of Clinton's grand jury testimony called Green Interns and the Ham.

xoxox
Spaff

I've done quite a few parodies of poems, but most are incomplete.  There's three that I can think of on amiright: "How Do I Spell Thee? Let Me Count The Ways", a parody of a sonnet by Elizabeth Barret Browning working out the various permutations in spelling Alanis Morrisette; "The Cat's in the Flat" a Freak Brothers parody to the Dr Seuss poem; and one that was written before I started posting here: "Disobedience" to the poem of the same name by AA Milne.

By a staggering coincidence, the last of those picked up its first comment in three years yesterday.  Spooky.

Thanks for the hour of laughter, guys.

I'm working on a paul revere's ride parody for a competition... and since i don't do incomplete parodies it'll have to be close to 900 words

I'm not as interesting (much of a giant dork) as everyone else here. Never done a parody of anything huge sized (big loser). I am, however, a master bater (not fishing) and I do well with my rod (still not fishing). I have a very deep sense of humor (not funny at all) and I have impeccable taste (wouldn't know a Van Gogh from any other kind of van). Regardless, I am smart (Just spent 10 minutes looking up how you spell Van Gogh's last name, originally would have put 'GO') and I am done wasting your time (not if you plan on reading his parodies).