Not a parody - I might end up recording this one, rather like the TWA Tea song, but not exactly sure what sort of tune to put to it.  Inspired (rather obviously, I guess) by Tom Lehrer's "Bright College Days" song:

"Soon we'll be out, amid the cold world's strife
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life"
- Tom Lehrer, "Bright College Days"

I'm sliding down the razor blade of life
I'm sliding down the razor blade of life
'Cause one thing that says "wrecked" to me
Is a metaphysical vasectomy
Yes, I'm sliding down the razor blade of life

I'm riding on the bicycle of hope
I'm riding on the bicycle of hope
But the Bike of Hope ain't got no seat
And there's no pedals for my feet
Ouch! I'm riding on the bicycle of hope

I'm swallowing the vindaloo of fate
I'm swallowing the vindaloo of fate
I know the worst has been done to me
As that vindaloo of fate runs through me
So I'm swallowing the vindaloo of fate

I'm sliding down that razor blade of life
Yes, I'm sliding down the razor blade of life
But if the nick from Life's razor blade
Snips off your haemarrhoidal hand-grenade
Yep, slide on down the razor blade of life

...any thoughts as to a tune, anyone?

I've only gotta see the words 'razor blade' and 'sliding' in the same sentence, and I wince...!!

Looking at it, I can definitely see a match with a song from the early 50s called 'I Wish I Wuz'...Rosemary Clooney did a version of it, but I'm not sure how easy it is to get hold of these days...

Sounds like a country tune or folk song to me ...

I'm on parody-writing sabbatical, but that doesn't mean I can't suggest a tune or two ... hmm ... shall give it some thought.

the structure's pretty close to she'll be comin round the mountain, isn't it?

This song is just screaming to be cut by a barbershop quartet.  ;)

and the middle lines of each verse go well with the song about uncles in the south park movie whose fulll name would require asterisks

If you want an original song, Phil, you should already know who to ask.

I couldn't get the Jungle Book tune out of my head, the one that big oafish bear sings. "The simple bare necessities of life'.
You'd have to alter some of your pacing to fit it in, but it would definitely cack me up.

Do a film clip, too. :D

If you want an original song, Phil, you should already know who to ask.

:)  Thanks, Rick - I might just do that...  What sort of thing were you thinking of?


the structure's pretty close to she'll be comin round the mountain, isn't it?

Structure's the same, syllable count's not perfect... but I might just submit it to amiright as that, with a "Ow! Ow! Ouchie! Ouchie! Ow!" chorus...


I couldn't get the Jungle Book tune out of my head, the one that big oafish bear sings. "The simple bare necessities of life'.

you mean like this song?

...sort of:

I'm slidin' down life's razor blade
That laser-edged ol' razor blade
So sharp that it'll cut you like a knife
I'm ridin' down that razor blade
Like an enema of gatorade
Just slidin' down the razor blade of life

hmm... definitely has potential ;)


This song is just screaming to be cut by a barbershop quartet. ;)

If I knew any barbershop quartets, that is.

"Lazy Day", from the album "On The Threshold Of A Dream" by The Moody Blues.

Requires removal of a few syllables and addition of a few syllables in a few places, and requires adding a bridge-verse for the OS's bridge-verse which begins "Today's heaven-sent, and you're freely-content...".

Reminds me a little of "Escalator of Life" by Robert Hazzard, maybe just 'cause of the phrase "Razorblade of Life"

Stylewise, a la Eric Idle and the Pythons? Like a Twenties revue song? Dixieland? Silly happy, of course.