After my latest triple-1 ratings on a protest parody (two such votes out of seven total), I feel inspired to do a new Ones-Guy song.  I'm planning to use Steely Dan's "Rikki, Don't Lose That Number" as my OS; here's what I have so far for my new lyrics:

No one believes your vote’s OK
We thought we’d have a wild time with songs for fun
I know you’ll try to scare us off, you’ll vote and run
You’ll never have a change of heart

Sick to abuse that number
I could never call you something else
Till you do something better with yourself
Sick to abuse that number
It’s the only trick you’ve known
If you got a life, you’d feel better
When you’re at home



Comments, suggestions, constructive criticism?

After my latest triple-1 ratings on a protest parody (two such votes out of seven total), I feel inspired to do a new Ones-Guy song.  I'm planning to use Steely Dan's "Rikki, Don't Lose That Number" as my OS; here's what I have so far for my new lyrics:

No one believes your vote’s OK
We thought we’d have a wild time with songs for fun
I know you’ll try to scare us off, you’ll vote and run
You’ll never have a change of heart

**
Sick to abuse that number
I could never call you something else
Till you do something better with yourself
Sick to abuse that number
It’s the only trick you’ve known
If you got a life, you’d feel better
When you’re at home



Comments, suggestions, constructive criticism?

Well, if I were writing it I would change the repetitive title  liine "Sick to abuse that number" throughout the song.  But I would probably use more pointed and perhaps...hmmm...we'll say "rough" language and imagery...such as:

**
Pr*ck, why don't you go elsewhere?
If I could I'd send you straight to H*ll 
Then you'd be with folks more like yourself 
I think that you belong there
You just might find things you'd like
Like a pitchfork stuck up your ***hole
the Devil's bone...

But as I recall you generally don't use that type of language in your work...but anyway, I would look to be more creative with the title line repeats...you can probably come up with some that express your anger in a way more in alignment with your feelings and language conventions. 

Good luck with it, Ingeborg...we're all behind you (no pitchforks, though...).

pr

I do try to keep my language and imagery PG-rated at most, you're right about that.  "Rikki" has proved a difficult song to start from, though; I abandoned it in favor of James Taylor's "Only One".  ("You're voting only ones..." suggested itself immediately.)   Here's a sample of the lyrics:

These triple-one votes, they bore me
Too many treated that way
Thousands of songs we've spoofed today
Millions of laughs that just won't quit
For all this work, only ones?

Yes, you're voting only ones
You're voting only ones
No use telling me now, you're voting only ones

Taken for granted, you look so snide:
All that you do is disgrace us, run and hide.
B***hy message-bashing all can see
Hidden hatred for each parody
Though the parody brings us screams,
Hundreds of laughs sure to last
Trash our songs and we'll hate you fast
For all your votes—only ones!

I do try to keep my language and imagery PG-rated at most, you're right about that.  "Rikki" has proved a difficult song to start from, though; I abandoned it in favor of James Taylor's "Only One".  ("You're voting only ones..." suggested itself immediately.)   Here's a sample of the lyrics:

These triple-one votes, they bore me
Too many treated that way
Thousands of songs we've spoofed today
Millions of laughs that just won't quit
For all this work, only ones?

Yes, you're voting only ones
You're voting only ones
No use telling me now, you're voting only ones

Taken for granted, you look so snide:
All that you do is disgrace us, run and hide.
B***hy message-bashing all can see
Hidden hatred for each parody
Though the parody brings us screams,
Hundreds of laughs sure to last
Trash our songs and we'll hate you fast
For all your votes—only ones!


Ingeborg - I'd have to listen to the OS to tell overall, but I know how the chorus part goes quite well.  This piece flows much better than your "Rikki" number so I think you are on the right track here.  And it's also clearer in that the OS wording allows you to specifically refer to "ones"...I like this "one" so far.

pr

Ingeborg - I'd have to listen to the OS to tell overall, but I know how the chorus part goes quite well.  This piece flows much better than your "Rikki" number so I think you are on the right track here.  And it's also clearer in that the OS wording allows you to specifically refer to "ones"...I like this "one" so far.

pr



Here's the original song, words and melody both.

Ingeborg - I'd have to listen to the OS to tell overall, but I know how the chorus part goes quite well.  This piece flows much better than your "Rikki" number so I think you are on the right track here.  And it's also clearer in that the OS wording allows you to specifically refer to "ones"...I like this "one" so far.

pr



Here's the original song, words and melody both.

lWritten lyrics fit well - having trouble with my sound tonight so I will have to listen later on, maybe tomorrow...

pr