Political parody writers, take note ---- a golden opportunity for you!

http://www.boston.com/dailynews/218/wash/Bush_misspeaks_says_his_admini:.shtml


Bush misspeaks, says his administration seeking 'new ways to harm our country'
By Associated Press, 8/5/2004 13:48

WASHINGTON (AP) President Bush offered up a new entry for his catalog of ''Bushisms'' on Thursday, declaring that his administration will ''never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people.''

Bush misspoke as he delivered a speech at the signing ceremony for a $417 billion defense spending bill.

''Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we,'' Bush said. ''They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.''

No one in Bush's audience of military brass or Pentagon chiefs reacted.

The president was working his way toward a larger point. ''We must never stop thinking about how best to defend our country. We must always be forward-thinking,'' he said.

White House spokesman Scott McClellan said Bush's misstatement ''just shows even the most straightforward and plain-spoken people misspeak.''

''But the American people know this president speaks with clarity and conviction, and the terrorists know by his actions he means it,'' McClellan said.

The president he speaks with awesome clarity
The meaning's obvious if you take it logic'ly
The terrorists are thinking 'bout it, so must we
There must be fifty ways to harm our country...

The president he speaks with awesome clarity
The meaning's obvious if you take it logic'ly
The terrorists are thinking 'bout it, so must we
There must be fifty ways to harm our country...


He said "You see, I've got a negative I.Q.
Furthermore my bonehead bleatings make a lobster seem smart too
But I'll repeat myself,
'Cause Dick_Cheney told me to
There must be
Fifty ways to harm our country
Fifty ways to harm our country."

Just drop in a nuke, Duke
A suicide bomb, Dom
Some biochem, Shem
Sarin is the key
Post some anthrax, Max
Or let loose some gas, Chas
It doesn't take much, Dutch
To harm our country

Jus' speak like a jerk, Dirk
Talk like a kid, Sid
Show 'em the void, Lloyd
In your empty brain-case

Piss_off your friends, Clem
Be a snob on the job, Bob
Just threaten the world, Merle
And call women "girls"

He said "It grieves me so to spare my country pain,
I wish that there was some way I could screw our Amber Waves of Grain,
So_Dick, I'd appreciate if, you'd kindly please explain
About the fifty ways...?"

Dick_said, "Why don't you smoke some opium tonight,
And then get up good and stoned in the middle of the night,
And call a press conference, while wearing Laura's leotard and tights?"
That's one of
Fifty ways to harm our country
Fifty ways to harm our country

You people need to submit these for voting, they're always gold!

Philbo, when you and/or I and/or any other contributors (Luke?) finish this, shall we post it in the Monkey Room ?

Dubya explains Iraq.......

Yeah, stick it in the Monkey Room...

Just slap the tax on, Ron
Yes, do it real quick, Dick
Watch the money roll in, Colin
Oh, isn't this fun?
Deny Arabs their visa, Condoleeza
Get 'em all to vote Bush, Rush
It's Bush 1, Kerry nil, Bill
Election'll be won

Okay, Philbo, 'tis done ......... submitted for the next posting:

"'Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover'" Based on the perfomance by Paul Simon
"'Fifty Ways to Harm Our Country'" Parody by A Room Full Of Monkeys

As much as I hate Bush and agree with the public's opinion of his intellect, I have to say that that particular line makes perfect sense in context. As I stated earlier in the day on another forum,

I have to say, despite its amusingness when taken literally, it really does make perfect sense. He's presumably talking about terrorism, and the best way to cause terror is to do the unexpected. Hence, "they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people". So how do you stop it? By thinking of it yourself, making it less unexpected. So you have to think like the terrorist organizations would. "To catch a thief..." and all.