Original lyrics:

Here's my story, sad but true
It's about a girl that I once knew
She took my love then ran around
With every single guy in town
Ah, I should have known it from the very start
This girl will leave me with a broken heart
Now listen people what I'm telling you
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

I miss her lips and the smile on her face
The touch of her hair and this girl's warm embrace
So if you don't wanna cry like I do
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Ah, she likes to travel around
She'll love you but she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
Sue goes out with other guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

She likes to travel around
She'll love you but she'll put you down
Now people let me put you wise
Sue goes out with other guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I fell in love and my love still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Here's my story, sad but true
About a girl who's like Shamu
She waddled up and sat right down
On every single guy in town...

Ah, she came on strong with those big "kiss me" lips
But guys would wind up with some broken hips
If you don't want to wind up black and blue
A-keep away from 800 pound Sue

I said "wind up" twice. change the second one to "end up" I hate to repeat myself. I hate to repeat myself.

Almost got sick from that vial of Jose
Some drunk gave me that should have told him no way
Don't get so drunk you can't drive, if you do
You'll get a taste of eight hundred pound Sue

Ah, she never gets off the ground
Comes of weighing eight-hundred pound
So people let me put you wise
Sue goes - squashing 'em like flies

If you're mortal don't ignore the plain advice i give
Steer clear of her if you want to live
Ask Fred the ghoul why his life is through, he'll say
"The killer weight of 800 pound Sue"

She is enormous and round, yeah
She'll drive your a$s into the ground
People let me set you wise
The camping store carries her dress size

So the forklift and the lorry in my driveway shows
I fell in love and her butt still grows
My skinny tool's fat-free lever grew, it's true -
I can do that Eight Hundred Pound Sue!

Well done again, all.  So with this one and Johnny's, there should be at least two more monkey songs tomorrow.  Also, if anyone else wants to start a group song and put it in the monkey room, feel free; that's what it's there for.  Or even an idividual song.  We don't care; we're MONKEYS.

Great job, all~  I see it took just barely over a day to complete this.  That's a lot of heavy-lifting in a rather short time frame.