Roadside Fiberglass Humanoids

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Places That Are Going, Going, Gone... 2007 Archive: (May) (March) (February) (January)

Subject: Roadside Fiberglass Humanoids

Written By: quirky_cat_girl on 02/02/07 at 10:04 pm

Do you know of any "muffler men" in a town near you? As classified on "roadsideamerica.com"...there are several basic types:

The Classic
Gas Station Attendant, Golfer, Hamburger Man, Cowboy
Configured with all the basic characteristics, standing 21-22 ft. tall. While shipped clean-shaven, may be customized with a painted mustache or even a beard -- sometimes in the style of the Bunyan model. The Cowboy version of the classic always features a removable Stetson

http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/411/njseamufcu2002tw2.jpg

Bunyan
Lumberjack, Woodsman

Configured with most of the basic characteristics, standing 20 ft. tall. The Bunyan probably existed before the Classic. Distinguishing features include a head with a molded wool cap, and a heavy beard. Bunyans are frequently sighted brandishing single or double-sided axes. Shirt may be painted in a red plaid pattern. There is somewhat shorter variation of the Bunyan that wears a hard hat or miner's helmet.
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/1492/ilevesmss2.jpg

Indian
Noble Savage, the Big Chief, or the Brave

Shoes and legs are often the same, but other characteristics of the Indian are further removed from purebred M-Man lineage. The head and arm configuration differ, except in cases where May don a single "Brave" feather or full "Chief" headdress. This category is confused by instances of Classics that have been modified to appear as Indians.
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/484/mnbemsmtg9.jpg

Happy Halfwit
Mortimer Snerd, Alfred E. Neumann, S.F.B., Country Bumpkin
The gap-toothed, jug-eared Happy Halfwit is comedy relief among otherwise stern looking M-Men types. This strain shares the M-Man's molded torso/arms and legs/shoes. Sports a straw hat or baseball cap. Original Halfwits were sold in heights as tall as 21 ft. Many of today's survivors are a shorter, neckless variety, closer to 15-18 ft.
http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/1710/txdalmuflove3vu6.jpg

So, do you know of any in your area of the world?