I just found the lyrics.  Here they are.

“HERE COMES MENOPAUSE”
(Sung to the tune of “Here comes Santa Claus)
Note: song originally sung and perhaps written by Cahal Dunne:
See cahaldunne.com

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who’s the stranger screaming at me,
standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE.

“Here comes menopause,
I love menopause
Here comes menopause whoopee! menopause” *
*(sung by ladies chorus in backround)
It’s hormonal, not eternal
It’s the change of life.
Spare me all your medical bull,
Just give me back my wife.
She’s plucking – shaving—waxing
Like she’s never done before.
I’m sharing all her prozac now
Cause life’s just one big bore.

“Here comes menopause
Kegel exercises
Here comes menopause
(Peed my pantyhose)”*
*(sung by ladies in backround)
Why is menopause
not called womenpause
HEY it’s not our fault.
She wants a backrub,
I need whiskey
We’re like sugar and salt.
They say someday she’ll be back,
Just like she was before.
But sex has long gone out the window,
Old age is at the door.

**“Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.
Up with the blankets,
Down with the blankets,
Hot flashes night and day.
Who’s the stranger screaming at me,
Standing in my house.
No one ever told me
P M S meant PUNISH MY SPOUSE.”
(This final section sung in unison by men’s chorus.)

The “ * ” (beginning second and third stanza) could all be:

Here comes menopause,
Here comes menopause,
Right down menopause lane.

I hope you enjoy them.

djmac5

Oh god, I think I just collapsed my lung again...that's awesome :)

welcome aboard!!

I just heard it, too, and I was looking for lyrics, but all I could find was this post!

Quoting:
Has anyone heard the Christmas song parody, "Here Comes Menopause"?  I just heard it today and found it hilarious.  I want to find the lyrics if possible.  The first lines were:Here Comes Menopause -Here Comes Menopause- right down menpause lane ---  (then something like) Up go the sheets and down go the sheets- as those hot flashes hit again....   Can anyone help?

djmac5
End Quote

I cant say that i have heard it yet but dude that does sound hilarious so if i hear anything i will let you know , but if you heard it on the radio maybee you call the radio station and ask them  ;) Peace GhEtTo JoHN

I heard it yesterday, too, and have been wondering where to find the song and/or the lyrics. Would appreciate any info you find.  

Just the title cracks me up. I got to hear that one.




Cat

Go to        cahaldunne.com
and you can order the CD.

I hope somebody can come up with it. There's a whole gaggle of menopausal women on a quilting forum that want to hear it.  NOW!        LOL :-}