I'm looking for alternate lyrics to "On Top of Old Smokie." I already know "On Top of Speggetti."  The particular set that I'm looking for I heard in first grade.  The only things I can remmember about it was that it was funny, it was about killing his teacher, and I think it took place partly on a river (to dump the body).  This request probably sounds awful, but I love my first grade teacher, and the kid who sang it to me didn't have any complaints that I remember, either.  I'm hoping someone here has heard it, but I'd like any lyrics you guys know to this tune.  Thanks! :D  

ok something like this??

on top of old smokie.... all covered with blood
I shot my poor teacher... with a 44 slug
I went to her funeral... I went to her grave
Some people threw flowers... But I threw grenades
I went to her casket... She wasn't quite dead
So i took my bazooka... And blew off her head.

Rather morbid if i do say so myself.

Your river reference may be from a handslap game entitled "Miss Lucy" In which her baby gets a bellyache while rolling down the river only to be cured by pizza from the lady with the alligator purse who proved the doctor and the nurse as well as their prescriptions inadequate.

Hope i've been of some help

Like I said, I can't remember, but that sounds right. thanks!  I don't know where I got the river from, because I've never heard of "Miss Lucy" or any thing like it.  Who knows? Just faulty memory.