I'll always love my mama 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GjxlguPYo0

Happy Mother's Day. :)

Happy mothers day!

Happy Mothers Day!

This afternoon we'll be taking my mom and grandma out to eat. I have already given my mom her gift: a photo frame with pictures from our cruise.

My Mother has her Mother and my family over for Mother's Day today.

I talked to my mother for about 2 hours today.  :o :o :o  She just went on and on and on... It was ok. I really enjoyed talking to her-even when she talked about people I have no idea who they are but she assumes that I do.  :D :D :D :D


Cat

I sent my mother a sweet card, it was the least I could do.  That's why I did it.  It was the least I could do! 

Your supposed to love your mother, but what if you're middle aged and you're just coming to the terms that your mother doesn't love you? 

That's because I've figured out my mother does not know what love is.  I have realized my sister killed herself because she could not get unconditional love from mom, not even after dad said to my sister, "You're dead to me.  All I want from you is a grandchild."  Dad actively hates us.  Mom does not know how to love, she only knows how to babytalk fondly when she's pleased.  Indeed, when I was 17, my father told me, "I wish I had a son.  You're no son of mine!"  It was cold comfort to think of myself as my mother's son when she was so stark raving mad and a whirlwind of pop psychology and New Age feel-good sh*t in her brain.  Vapid.  This is not to mention on the emotional neglect and psycho-sexual abuse.  Make you ashamed to live in your own skin!  There she is now, 71 years old and losing her mind.  She needs help I can't give.  One daughter dead, the other daughter paranoid delusional, and a son who can't make his way in the world because of her abuse...now she's vulverable to the vagaries of elderabuse and I can't help her because I'm not even on my feet myself, so come more noxious clouds of guilt and humiliation.

No I did not feel like showing much filial piety on Mother's Day!
>:( 

I sent my mother a sweet card, it was the least I could do.  That's why I did it.  It was the least I could do! 

Your supposed to love your mother, but what if you're middle aged and you're just coming to the terms that your mother doesn't love you? 

That's because I've figured out my mother does not know what love is.  I have realized my sister killed herself because she could not get unconditional love from mom, not even after dad said to my sister, "You're dead to me.  All I want from you is a grandchild."  Dad actively hates us.  Mom does not know how to love, she only knows how to babytalk fondly when she's pleased.  Indeed, when I was 17, my father told me, "I wish I had a son.  You're no son of mine!"  It was cold comfort to think of myself as my mother's son when she was so stark raving mad and a whirlwind of pop psychology and New Age feel-good sh*t in her brain.  Vapid.  This is not to mention on the emotional neglect and psycho-sexual abuse.  Make you ashamed to live in your own skin!  There she is now, 71 years old and losing her mind.  She needs help I can't give.  One daughter dead, the other daughter paranoid delusional, and a son who can't make his way in the world because of her abuse...now she's vulverable to the vagaries of elderabuse and I can't help her because I'm not even on my feet myself, so come more noxious clouds of guilt and humiliation.

No I did not feel like showing much filial piety on Mother's Day!
>:(


We can't choose our parents, and sometimes that is a sin.  I don't see any reason for someone who was raised abusively to "come to terms" or "forgive" . Forgiveness is over rated.  You can't choose your parents, but maybe, hopefully, there was some woman, somewhere in your life who stood up for you were your mother couldn't, wouldn't, didn't.  She is the one you should think of on Mothers Day.

I sent my mother a sweet card, it was the least I could do.  That's why I did it.  It was the least I could do! 

Your supposed to love your mother, but what if you're middle aged and you're just coming to the terms that your mother doesn't love you? 

That's because I've figured out my mother does not know what love is.  I have realized my sister killed herself because she could not get unconditional love from mom, not even after dad said to my sister, "You're dead to me.  All I want from you is a grandchild."  Dad actively hates us.  Mom does not know how to love, she only knows how to babytalk fondly when she's pleased.  Indeed, when I was 17, my father told me, "I wish I had a son.  You're no son of mine!"  It was cold comfort to think of myself as my mother's son when she was so stark raving mad and a whirlwind of pop psychology and New Age feel-good sh*t in her brain.  Vapid.  This is not to mention on the emotional neglect and psycho-sexual abuse.  Make you ashamed to live in your own skin!  There she is now, 71 years old and losing her mind.  She needs help I can't give.  One daughter dead, the other daughter paranoid delusional, and a son who can't make his way in the world because of her abuse...now she's vulverable to the vagaries of elderabuse and I can't help her because I'm not even on my feet myself, so come more noxious clouds of guilt and humiliation.

No I did not feel like showing much filial piety on Mother's Day!
>:(



((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))



Cat

I hope all of the wonderful mothers on this board had a great day yesterday.



As for me, Mother's Day is painful.  I am not only reminded that the mom I love more than anything is gone, but also that I will never have the privilege of being a mother myself. 

I hope all of the wonderful mothers on this board had a great day yesterday.



As for me, Mother's Day is painful.  I am not only reminded that the mom I love more than anything is gone, but also that I will never have the privilege of being a mother myself.


I have a sister who would have made a wonderful mother, but never had children.  That didn't stop her from nurturing a few children in need of it.  Kids in the neighborhood.  20-30-40 years later they come back and tell her how much she meant to them.  Not being a bio mom did not inhibit her from acting like a mom, she has been rewarded time and time again. 

I hope all of the wonderful mothers on this board had a great day yesterday.



As for me, Mother's Day is painful.  I am not only reminded that the mom I love more than anything is gone, but also that I will never have the privilege of being a mother myself.




(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

I, too will never be a mother myself but I am a step-mother. There can be some consolation prizes. Don't despair.


Cat

I hope all of the wonderful mothers on this board had a great day yesterday.



As for me, Mother's Day is painful.  I am not only reminded that the mom I love more than anything is gone, but also that I will never have the privilege of being a mother myself.


((((hugs))))  :)

We can't choose our parents, and sometimes that is a sin.  I don't see any reason for someone who was raised abusively to "come to terms" or "forgive" . Forgiveness is over rated.  You can't choose your parents, but maybe, hopefully, there was some woman, somewhere in your life who stood up for you were your mother couldn't, wouldn't, didn't.  She is the one you should think of on Mothers Day.


Do you think that if a mother "doesn't know how to love," this is her choice? Maybe no one loved her. So the guy should live with boiling resentment and send his mother a hypocritical card because she doesn't know how to love? Where does the suffering end, then?  :\'(

Do you think that if a mother "doesn't know how to love," this is her choice? Maybe no one loved her. So the guy should live with boiling resentment and send his mother a hypocritical card because she doesn't know how to love? Where does the suffering end, then?  :\'(


What, realistically, is he supposed to do?  Seriously.  He can't fix it.  He can't fix her.  He made that pretty clear in his post.  I think it was pretty damn generous to send a card at all.  The only thing he can do is work on himself - that's where the healing begins.

My grandma treats my dad in very much the same way and it makes me sick.  I finally stood up for him and told her off about a month ago.  There is only so much a person can stand. 

I sometimes wonder if My Grandma ever loved my mom as a kid.  I know when Grandma was alive I felt some kind of false since of love when I was around her.

My maternal grandmother hated my mother. She was the meanest old woman I have ever seen. And my mother was adopted. Usually adopted kids are loved more. At least my grandfather loved my mother (But my grandmother didn't love him either.)


Cat

I don't think either of my dad's parents really loved him.  They were both batsheesh crazy.  He's been through the wringer, and has put our family through the ringer, but he learns.  He has grown and evolved, and I am so proud of him.  But it absolutely breaks my heart when I see him try with all of his might to please my grandma, and she treats him like dirt.  And when my grandpa, his dad, died, he left all of his money and possessions to his housekeeper (and we are talking millions) except for a few select items that he gave to one of my uncles, and one of my cousins.  I don't think my dad ever expected anything from his dad...but it still had to hurt like hell.

My dad's dad had some kind of strange ego problem.  My dad didn't want to take his dad's motercycle because it wasn't good transportation for the family.  I have no idea if he's still alive or not, but I don't miss him and it doesn't my dad does either.  Probably wishes his dad never behaved like that.

"You're dead to me.  All I want from you is a grandchild."


DAFUQ?

http://i49.tinypic.com/ekfeaw.jpg

I'm childfree, and it took my folks a few years to get used to the idea, but they eventually figured out it wasn't because they sucked at raising me.  They did a great job.  Once they realized I didn't turn into a selfish douchebag because of them, I turned into one in spite of them, everything turned out OK. :)

But it sounds like you and yours have put up with more crap from your family than I ever would - or could - have.  So I'm just gonna leave these here for next year.

DAFUQ?

http://i49.tinypic.com/ekfeaw.jpg

I'm childfree, and it took my folks a few years to get used to the idea, but they eventually figured out it wasn't because they sucked at raising me.  They did a great job.  Once they realized I didn't turn into a selfish douchebag because of them, I turned into one in spite of them, everything turned out OK. :)

But it sounds like you and yours have put up with more crap from your family than I ever would - or could - have.  So I'm just gonna leave these here for next year.


Yeah, my father said exactly that quote to my late sister when she was 21.  It was like having Daniel Plainview for a dad sometimes!  He also said "you're no son of mine" and variants thereof to me on numerous occasions.  That's why that Genesis video was so triggering for me.  It was like they based the whole thing on the relationship between me and my dad when I was a teenager. 

I would only do my part to stanch this unhappy family line.  I would not have kids even if I could afford to. 

Anyway, I never say people who don't want children are selfish.  The selfish people are the ones who bring children into the world and put their self-interest ahead of the good of the children.

Yeah, my father said exactly that quote to my late sister when she was 21.  It was like having Daniel Plainview for a dad sometimes!  He also said "you're no son of mine" and variants thereof to me on numerous occasions.  That's why that Genesis video was so triggering for me.  It was like they based the whole thing on the relationship between me and my dad when I was a teenager. 

I would only do my part to stanch this unhappy family line.  I would not have kids even if I could afford to. 

Anyway, I never say people who don't want children are selfish.  The selfish people are the ones who bring children into the world and put their self-interest ahead of the good of the children.


I once had an eye doctor tell me that I was selfish for trying to have kids when there was a 50/50 chance that my kids would have RP. I'm sorry but RP is NOT a painful disease nor is it really debilitating. Yeah, there are some limitations because of it but I think I am living a full rich life.


But, of course, now it is a moot point.



Cat 

I once had an eye doctor tell me that I was selfish for trying to have kids when there was a 50/50 chance that my kids would have RP. I'm sorry but RP is NOT a painful disease nor is it really debilitating. Yeah, there are some limitations because of it but I think I am living a full rich life.


But, of course, now it is a moot point.



Cat


Received Pronunciation
???

My maternal grandmother hated my mother. She was the meanest old woman I have ever seen. And my mother was adopted. Usually adopted kids are loved more. At least my grandfather loved my mother (But my grandmother didn't love him either.)


Cat
DIdn't realize my mother had an adopted sister???  But no worries, her mother hated her as well!!!  Sent her out to be the 4th boy (there were 4 girls and 3 boys, my mom got to be the other boy - so 4 boys 3 girls) and work milking cows, took her to the barber to get her hair cut and everything.  My grandmother was only capable of appreciating nice things....  She also liked drama, she would leave for days on end leaving notes and making people thinking perhaps she committed suicide.  Yep she was a peach!