What follows was the hour of my life between 3-4pm EST today:

    Been doing chores, went to clean the cat's box. Now I know I am sometimes a bit slack in doing this oh so awesome and rewarding job, however I was not prepared for what I saw when I pulled the top off. I'll spare you the details of that horror - let's just say I seriously contemplated throwing away the whole thing. Who threw my cat a kegger last night, and why wasn't I invited?

    Anyway, so I commence cleaning the mass feline grave. Old litter out- check. Mostly. "This is a bathtub job", I said to myself. I'd wash it outside but it's cold and cold water doesn't clean up what could easily be designated "the world's smallest Superfund site", so to the tub it was. I sprayed out what I could, not much. Went to get a brush, came back, leaned my hand down on the rim of the tub and "whammo!": hand slipped on the misty overspray and chest first on the cast iron tub I went.

    Slightly less amused than I was 10 seconds prior, I commence cleaning the box with determination. I should have used Bleach. or perhaps a flamethrower. Good thing I didn't though: got splashed in the face with water that no longer passed EPA standards. At least it didn't go in my eyes or mouth. Still, bleck.

    Silly me used paper towels to clean out what a brush wouldn't touch, and I then compounded this error in judgement by putting them in the toilet. Within 10 minutes, neither the cat or I had usable sanitation facilities. Thank god for plungers, another lavatory crisis averted.

    So, now that I have the box clean, I go back to put litter in it. We have litter, and lots of it!! yay! the last 15 minutes of hell are over, I thought. Oops, should have known that not to be the case - there's litter all over the floor. How does the cat get litter through a solid plastic cover? Is he related to David Copperfield? So I go to get the vacuum. No problems there, however the carpet under the box is pretty nasty, needs to be shaken out. I go to remove it from the floor, without realizing the corner of the stepladder leg is on it. As if getting splashed in the face by kitty bidet wasn't bad enough, the ladder decided to leave its mark upon me as well. *smack*. Ouch. I thought objects at rest were supposed to stay that way? I conclude that Newton must be wrong rather than accept my own part in the whole mess.

    Distracted slightly, I do not put litter back in the box right away or the pan back in place (note this for later). I notice the litter scoop, and how equally pathetic it is - looks like it has been working nights dredging the Chesapeake Bay, trying to make a little extra money or something for the missus. Slightly mortified at the prospect of dutifully restoring a 99c piece of plastic to its original glory, especially in the bathtub, which I think doesn't like me at the moment, I proceed outdoors. I look for something to clean it, like paper towels, a rag, flamethrower, all to no avail. I go back in, get a rag, go back out and commence cleaning the pooper scooper. I learned that I clean such a useful tool at the approximate rate of 3in^2/min, or about 10 minutes to clean it.

    Reveling in my poo removing prowess from utensils, I walk inside, where things quickly devolve further. I round the door, only to find my lovely cat mid squat on the floor, conducting business as usual, sans box or litter. Knowing at this point I am literally shyt out of luck, I shake my head, walk on by, and wait for the aftermath. Fortunately that wasn't terrible to clean up -  what's a little bodily fluid and solids between friends, right? On second thought, don't answer that.

    Finally, I get the shaken and vacuumed rug back down, pan on the rug, litter in the pan, and put the top back on. And it only took me 1 hour, two rags, three minor accidents, and four pounds of litter to do a five minute job. It's done now, and done right, and will have to be done again, perhaps after midnight.

If you got a laugh from this, leave a comment or karma point.

Ant

Karma, yuck and this is why I don't have cats!

Karma for the anticipation. I'll read it when I get to LA

I can totally relate. I swear my cat likes to build sandcastles in her litter box. Every time I change them litter is EVERYWHERE-along with the "stuff" that is deposited in it.  8-P And we have the boxes (yup-more than one) in a closet in the bathroom which is under the staircase so the ceiling is VERY low. I am short and I can't tell you how many times I have bumped my head.

Ah, the joys of having cats.  :P



Cat

Hlarious. If it makes you feel better people on Beverly hills think I'm a whacko I was laughing so hard!

Laughed my ass off and gave you Karma.  I think I owe you more for that one.

he he     

    Reveling in my poo removing prowess from utensils, I walk inside, where things quickly devolve further. I round the door, only to find my lovely cat mid squat on the floor, conducting business as usual, sans box or litter.


http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/is-out-of-litter.jpg

Actually, if you put that to a slow jazz/funk backbeat and did a Billy Crystal voiceover, you'd have something on a par with I Hate When That Happens. 

Oh wow... ;D  Red Ant, I have two cats and I have had days like the one you just described.  You just cannot help but laugh... Karma coming your way.

And karma to Foo Bar for that pic too. 

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/is-out-of-litter.jpg

Actually, if you put that to a slow jazz/funk backbeat and did a Billy Crystal voiceover, you'd have something on a par with I Hate When That Happens. 



http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r92/aandcsattic/family/028_28.jpg

http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r92/aandcsattic/family/027_27.jpg


BTW, that is MY cat. Maybe I should have toilet trained her.  :-\\



Cat

http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r92/aandcsattic/family/028_28.jpg

http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r92/aandcsattic/family/027_27.jpg


BTW, that is MY cat. Maybe I should have toilet trained her.  :-\\



Cat


Why is she looking at the toilet bowl? Is she afraid to squat?  ???