Yes - I remember an episode of "The Next Generation" where they tried this but it wasn't the Enterprise that went in and it wasn't our sun.     



Not quite the same?

Not quite the same?



Yeah, but they didn't go at night.  ::)

Yeah, but they didn't go at night.  ::)

If they went at night time, the crew of the Starship would have claim overtime.

If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

If a transvesite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of Half and Half?





No,a regular carton of milk.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.





Then you'd be lost.

If a tree falls in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, is Justin Bieber still evil?

If a tree falls on a mime would you hear it?

If a tree falls on a mime would you hear it?
The mime artist did not hear it!

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.






that's true.

If a tree falls on a mime would you hear it?


I would be at home.

so you probably wouldn't hear it if there were anything to hear

If you use too much artificial sweetener, can you get cavities in your dentures?

If you use too much artificial sweetener, can you get cavities in your dentures?



Just artificial cavities?

If you use too much artificial sweetener, can you get cavities in your dentures?






I don't think you can.

I don't think you can.



Supposedly, George Washington had wooden teeth.  Do you think he got termites?  ???  ::)

Supposedly, George Washington had wooden teeth.  Do you think he got termites?   ???   ::)





probably at home.

probably at home.



I guess he called Orkin instead of a dentist.

I guess he called Orkin instead of a dentist.





There was no Orkin the 1700's

Supposedly, George Washington had wooden teeth.  Do you think he got termites?  ???  ::)



Woodworm?

What if ALL the popcorn kernels popped at the same time?




Cat

I'd still eat it

What if ALL the popcorn kernels popped at the same time?




Cat
It depends on which film is on.

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?



Dehydrate plum juice?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?





liquid prunes?  ???

What if ALL the popcorn kernels popped at the same time?




Cat



I'd eat it.

If you put something hot into a thermos it is suppossed to stay hot and if you put something cold into a thermos it is suppossed to stay cold, so tell me how the thermos knows what to keep hot and what to keep not. 

If you put something hot into a thermos it is suppossed to stay hot and if you put something cold into a thermos it is suppossed to stay cold, so tell me how the thermos knows what to keep hot and what to keep not. 






it keeps the heat in.

I'd eat it.


you beter not eat all of it

you beter not eat all of it


Why Not?

Because I'm eating it

If Jimmy cracked corn,Would I care? ???

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? 

yeah how come?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? 







double parking?

double parking?



No, I think you mean double vision.

If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?

If you put something hot into a thermos it is suppossed to stay hot and if you put something cold into a thermos it is suppossed to stay cold, so tell me how the thermos knows what to keep hot and what to keep not. 




Until you take the top of... ?

Until you take the top of... ?



This is because everything in the universe is trying to become the same temperature. It must have something to do with laws of physics but I don't know, I've never studied law.

If one mans trash is another's treasure then why is there so much trash along the highways and byways?

If one mans trash is another's treasure then why is there so much trash along the highways and byways?



Treasure the moment!

Treasure the moment!



I would but the trash stays there for more than a moment. 

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?



It is a picture that paints a thousand words...

If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?





cramps?

If one mans trash is another's treasure then why is there so much trash along the highways and byways?





people litter.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?





depends on the price of each letter.

If time heals all wounds does time also wound all heels?

If time heals all wounds does time also wound all heels?





go to a shoeshop.

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"? 

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?





I'd like to buy a vowel

I'd like to buy a vowel


;D ;D ;D

If yesterday were today, then wouldn't today be yesterday?

If yesterday were today, then wouldn't today be yesterday?






today is the present.

today is the present.



Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.  ;)

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?





blue?

blue?



No, that's only if you choke it.  ::)

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?



Has this ever been tried out?

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.  ;)



Tomorrow is just another day.

If in Punxsutawney Pa. on Feb. 2nd, Ground Hog's Day we all know what it means if the critter sees his shadow.  Wonder what happens if he sees his reflection?.  For anyone who doesn't know this, the urban myth is that seeing his shadow means 6 more weeks of winter.  ::)  ;)

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?





No, But the Dept.Of Parks And Rec.does.

No, But the Dept.Of Parks And Rec.does.


You mean the Department of the Interior, which deals with everything that is exterior, don'tcha?  ::)

If you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws, might you be a redneck?

If you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws, might you be a redneck?







No.

If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?

If two blondes walk into a building, would one not think that one of them would have seen it?

If two blondes walk into a building, would one not think that one of them would have seen it?






Depends,do they have big boobs?  ;D

If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?



Yes, but silently.

If someone goes outside to get some air… what were they breathing inside?

If someone goes outside to get some air… what were they breathing inside?





oxygen?

If you are not wearing clothes then what is your underwear?

If you are not wearing clothes then what is your underwear?



That pile of clothing in the drawer at home.

That pile of clothing in the drawer at home.


Au contraire mon ami, I hang all my clothing up and they stay in the closet.  And yes the undies too...  I cannot afford drawers.  Hangers are cheaper.

Au contraire mon ami, I hang all my clothing up and they stay in the closet.  And yes the undies too...  I cannot afford drawers.  Hangers are cheaper.



Hangers come free when you buy clothing!

If you are not wearing clothes then what is your underwear?





sexy?  ???

Hangers come free when you buy clothing!


Exactly. 

Exactly. 



...and hangars are found at airports.

...and hangars are found at airports.


or garage sales.

or garage sales.
I do not think I have seen aircraft hangars at garage sales.

I do not think I have seen aircraft hangars at garage sales.


I thought you meant hangers? ???

I do not think I have seen aircraft hangars at garage sales.


Hangars are just aircraft garages.  So I guess you could have a hangar sale and offload wing nuts and aircraft parts.

If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?

If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?





mum's the word.

If flowers don't talk back to you, are they mums?



Mum being Mother Nature?

Mum being Mother Nature?


I cannot say for sure since the quotation was not oringinated by me.  ???  In case we are experiencing the U.K. U.S. language barrier  ;)  it is said that if you talk to your plants they do better.  I believe that the logic is that since during the day plants use carbon dioxide and that talking to them produces carbon dioxide which helps them to thrive some.  So yes of course it has something to do with Mother Nature.  But "The word is mum",  You have heard that expression, correct?  Old American movies used that term a lot.  It means keep your trap shut.  :-X  IMHO people who talk to plants need a net thrown over them.  They are about one sandwich short of a picnic.  ;D

If a quiz is quizzical, then what is a test?

If a quiz is quizzical, then what is a test?



Testing!

If a seagull flew over the bay would it be called a bagel?

If a seagull flew over the bay would it be called a bagel?


It depends if he's kosher or not.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?



Including the wind chill factor?

If a quiz is quizzical, then what is a test?





a testicle?  :D

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?






-2 below zero.

-2 below zero.
....but zero is 0,  and 0 x -2 = 0

....but zero is 0,  and 0 x -2 = 0


right whatever way you put it,It will still be zero.

right whatever way you put it,It will still be zero.


Does it make that much difference when it is that cold out?  ???  Who would care? 

Does it make that much difference when it is that cold out?   ???  Who would care? 





the meterologist.

If you played a blank tape at full volume through a ghetto blaster with a mime in a locked room how badly would it bother the mime?

If you melt dry ice, can you take a bath without getting wet?

If you melt dry ice, can you take a bath without getting wet?





I guess.  ???

I guess.  ???


Not only would you not get wet, you wouldn't get very clean either.

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Not only would you not get wet, you wouldn't get very clean either.






always use soap and shampoo.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If you mated a Bulldog with a sheeshsu would you get a Bullsh1t?

If you mated a Bulldog with a sheeshsu would you get a Bullsh1t?





that would be interesting.

If you mated a Bulldog with a sheeshsu would you get a Bullsh1t?



I know that a Shih Tzu is a zoo without penguins!

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? .

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? .





Don't you mean "waive"?  ???

Don't you mean "waive"?  ???
waiver ?

waiver ?


Yes,that too.

If napalm were to be mixed with nerve gas and made into a weapon, do you think they'd call it "Shake and Bake"?.

If napalm were to be mixed with nerve gas and made into a weapon, do you think they'd call it "Shake and Bake"?.






But how would it taste on Chicken?

If Sara Palin were an actual palindrome would she be able to reverse her views on anything?

If you don't know what a palindrome is visit page 25 of "Really useless information though somewhat interesting" at this link:

http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?topic=41027.360

Or click the link provided below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palindrome

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?



...and who does the cleaning too?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?





NASA?  ???

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?



Humanitarianism is an ethic of active compassion which became expressed in philanthropy and social welfare. From an exclusive concern with charity, humanitarian action was led increasingly to vindication of the respect owed to the individual human being. This idea, originating in stoic natural law, became, in its Christian and secular manifestations, an important influence in European thought. Not immediately, but eventually, denial of the spiritual equality inhering in every human being became the touchstone of 'wrongness' in humanitarian action. So I still do not know what humanitarian eat.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?





meat.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?



Dinner!

Humanitarianism is an ethic of active compassion which became expressed in philanthropy and social welfare. From an exclusive concern with charity, humanitarian action was led increasingly to vindication of the respect owed to the individual human being. This idea, originating in stoic natural law, became, in its Christian and secular manifestations, an important influence in European thought. Not immediately, but eventually, denial of the spiritual equality inhering in every human being became the touchstone of 'wrongness' in humanitarian action. So I still do not know what humanitarian eat.


I believe ya.  ;) 

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?   

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?     






Freedom?  ???

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?   



political freedom.

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? 

If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? 



i blame Charles Darwin!

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?







Of course. That's an A DUH!!!



Cat

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?




What happens if another man hears him?

What happens if another man hears him?


They "High Five" and crack open a six pack.

If a cop arrests a mime, is he told that he has the right to remain silent?  I mean would in not be kind of understood?  Maybe the mime should be told that he has the right to speak and not get into problems with his local mime union.

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?






What is he speaking?

If a cop arrests a mime, is he told that he has the right to remain silent?  I mean would in not be kind of understood?  Maybe the mime should be told that he has the right to speak and not get into problems with his local mime union.






mimes can get arrested.

They "High Five" and crack open a six pack.



Good idea!

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?





A few hours?

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?



42

I tried it, but I couldn't get the monkey to kick the pickle - he ate it.  The world may never know.

If quitters never win and winners never quit, who said “Quit while you’re ahead”?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, who said “Quit while you’re ahead”?





Shirley Sherrod. ( I googled it)

Shirley Sherrod. ( I googled it)


Just because something is on the internet, does not make it so.

Just because something is on the internet, does not make it so.






But it was a good laugh-at least for me it was.  ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat

But it was a good laugh-at least for me it was.  ;D ;D ;D ;D



Cat


;)

If today is the first day of the rest of our lives, what in the hell was yesterday?

If today is the first day of the rest of our lives, what in the hell was yesterday?





birth?

birth?
But birth was not yesterday.

But birth was not yesterday.



For some people it was.



Cat

But birth was not yesterday.


Then what was yesterday?

Then what was yesterday?
Friday was yesterday!

Friday was yesterday!


If every day was friday.

If every day was friday.
...the weekend will never arrive!

everybodys workin for the weekend?

everybodys workin for the weekend?
What is the point of working it the weekend never arrives?

...the weekend will never arrive!


Then we'd all be sad.

Saturday night wont be all right

Saturday night wont be all right


for fighting?

Is it possible that I might not be sure for once?

for fighting?
Is that how you spend your Saturday night?  ;D

Is that how you spend your Saturday night?  ;D



No,just on the computer.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? 

To many people in the world with a mindset that a hardworking job is more important then love.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?   






that's a part of life.

It is part of life, I just know someone who seems to value work over love to an extreme.

It is part of life, I just know someone who seems to value work over love to an extreme.



How sad.



Cat

It is part of life, I just know someone who seems to value work over love to an extreme.


there should be a bit of both.

exactly

I can't think of anything funny to say right now    please hold