Funny things you've seen in your lifetime?


One of the funniest things I ever saw was a few years ago.  I'm downtown in the parking lot of the library when this car pulls up in the space next to me.  Behind the wheel of the car was a woman dressed up as a clown.  Funny yes, but it gets better.  Before she gets out of the car, she pulls a bottle of Crown Royal out from her coat and takes a couple of swigs.  As she gets out of the car, she sees me, honks her nose and gives off this gigantic smile. 

Drinking and driving is one thing, but drinking before going to entertain kids?  I mean what the hell, man ???

Another funny moment in life ...

One I have told many times before, but it bears repeating.  My neighbours down the street used to have a JVC brand TV (same as me, but different model).  I know this because one night a I was walking home, from the sidewalk, I could see inside their house as they were watching TV.  Did you know that same brand name remotes will work with TVs of the same brand name?  I decided to put this to the test, so when I got home, I grabbed my JVC Remote, and as I stood back out on the sidewalk, I was able to change the channels on their TV.  I did this over a couple of nights ...

... I was coming home from school one day, and I seen a Leon's (Canadian furniture store) truck in their driveway and two guys delivering a new TV into their house. 

Conclusion: They thought their TV was broken. 
Actuality:  I'm an evil jackass MWAHAHA!

Another funny moment in life ...

One I have told many times before, but it bears repeating.  My neighbours down the street used to have a JVC brand TV (same as me, but different model).  I know this because one night a I was walking home, from the sidewalk, I could see inside their house as they were watching TV.  Did you know that same brand name remotes will work with TVs of the same brand name?  I decided to put this to the test, so when I got home, I grabbed my JVC Remote, and as I stood back out on the sidewalk, I was able to change the channels on their TV.  I did this over a couple of nights ...

... I was coming home from school one day, and I seen a Leon's (Canadian furniture store) truck in their driveway and two guys delivering a new TV into their house. 

Conclusion: They thought their TV was broken. 
Actuality:  I'm an evil jackass MWAHAHA!



I remember you telling this story before which I think is SOOOOO funny. In fact, I have told others about it because I think it is so funny.  ;D ;D ;D ;D




Cat

Why, you evil jackass - that's hilarious!  ;D

Some years ago I was playing a game of golf with my older brother. He always beats me (as I don't play often). This sunny day I was in front by 8 strokes with 3 holes to play and actually driving the ball well.

Teeing off at the 16th hole I had to drive the ball over a small creek (about 10 yards wide). My brother (using his powers of sugestion) said " watch out for the water". I just laughed the comment off and told him nothing would save him this time from a loss!

Well, could I get this damn ball across that creek? Several balls went into the creek ... The first second and third ball I kept my calm ...after that I was taking them out of the bag and slamming them into the ground and just trying to smack them over in almost one motion. Many expletives were uttered and I ended up using a lofted wedge club to get it over ...

My brother was laughing aloud thge whole time (and so were the guys playing behind us .. who were now sitting watching and just waiting for me to get over that creek)!!!

That's when I learned something new about my brother. He had false teeth. He laughed so hard that his teeth fell out in the dirt. The guys waiting for us to tee off were laughing, he was still laughing (but all gummy like) ... and I now had something to laugh about. He had to carry his teeh until he found some clean water to wash them.

Anyway... I hit a 20 on that hole (with 8 balls in the water) and lost the game by 8 shots!  ...but I wished I had filmed the entire sequence!

Mine was when I was about 14. I Played a joke on my Dad.

A friend of my Dads bought my dad a bottle of vodka. I asked my Dad's friend to bring 2 bottles, one that he bought for my Dad, and another Vodka bottle, but filled just with plain old water.

When he gave the gift to my Dad (it was the bottle filled with water of course)..I quickly ran to the bottle and said  "Damn, I love Vodka!!!!". I opened the bottle quickly and started chugging from it..I went through about 1/3 of the bottle in about 10 seconds and my parents looked at me in shock. Their 14 year old was an alcoholic?

I then passed the bottle to my Dad to take a shot...eventually he said "this is water!!" and was silent.
I really got him.  ;D

Having to very quickly dress someone up in drag during a 2 minute commercial break ! Wig, fishnets, full make-up, the WHOLE bit ! Hilarious :D

Having to very quickly dress someone up in drag during a 2 minute commercial break ! Wig, fishnets, full make-up, the WHOLE bit ! Hilarious :D


Was this person someone you know?

Coming out of the Empire State building in 2002 we were walking down the street and some dude with long hair is doing the whole headbanging thing in a circular motion while another dude is cheering him on. "Yeah, go man, GO!" :D

Coming out of the Empire State building in 2002 we were walking down the street and some dude with long hair is doing the whole headbanging thing in a circular motion while another dude is cheering him on. "Yeah, go man, GO!" :D


Were they rocking to a heavy metal song?  ;D

Gosh, I have a whole HEAP of funny stories from school.

It's so hard to pick just one. But I will.

Okay this one springs to mind. When I was a senior in high school, I had a very wiggy Algebra teacher named Mr.Earle. He was nice enough, but he always seened to freak out and throw a fit.
EVERY DAY. He was always pitching a fit and screaming and yelling and throwing objects.
Any way, this incident started in a different class. I was in English and took a pass to the girl's room. But I walked all the way across campus from the English building to the Math/Science bulding because that building had the cleanest bathrooms.
Now I remember as I went past his class to the restroom, he was screaming his lung out. I just giggled and kept going.
On my way back, I could hear him still shouting. When I was two doors down, his door suddenly swung open and he kicked two boys out, still hollering.
I stopped and watched as they stood in the hall arguing back and forth. (I was watching so I could relay the scene to my friends later. I got more than I bargained for)
Finally Mr Earle screamed "GO TO THE OFFICE!" and SLAMMED his door.
Above me, a light fixture in the shape of Saturn crashed to the ground.
The sound echoed all through the bulding and almost at once, all the other teachers came to thier door looking.  :o
Mr. Earle came back, looking red faced at the fixture on the floor, then ran into the teacher's lounge (which he always did after flipping out)
It was too funny.
I ran all the way back to class to tell my friends. Mr. Richey--my English teacher--was mad I took so long, but it was worth it.

I have bunch of Mr. Earle stories.

I have one funny Mr. Richey Story:

Everyone liked Mr. Richey. He was a nice guy, in his early 30s and he kind of looked like a cross between Hugh Grant and Jerry Seinfeld. He was this tall lanky man. And I remembered he always had this really pale skin. But one day, after a weeked, I noticed that he was REALLY red. But I wasn't sure why, and I didn't want to ask.
He had been sitting at his desk but moved to the board to start teaching. He had written the chalk for a few moments, before he dropped the chalk and started picking at his arm.
Everyone screamed and flipped out when he pulled a piece of skin about the size of a dollar bill off in a sheet.  8-P
someone asked just what the hell was wrong with him and if he wanted the nurse.
Mr. Richey explained that he'd gotten sunburned at an Astros game over the weekend and his skin was choosing to peel right then.
And proceeded to spend the rest of the class period pulling sheets of skin off.
And trying to stick it to his face. I found it amusing and was laughing. Other kids were revolted and begging him to quit.
I foudn it hilarious. LOL.

Was this person someone you know?


Yes, he was part of the show that I was working on.

One I have told many times before, but it bears repeating.  My neighbours down the street used to have a JVC brand TV (same as me, but different model).  I know this because one night a I was walking home, from the sidewalk, I could see inside their house as they were watching TV.  Did you know that same brand name remotes will work with TVs of the same brand name?  I decided to put this to the test, so when I got home, I grabbed my JVC Remote, and as I stood back out on the sidewalk, I was able to change the channels on their TV.  I did this over a couple of nights ...


So, if you were to have one of these...

...and if you were to put it in a hat...

...or just snipe with the small version...

...or build its heavy-duty brother and not even bother aiming...

...some lulz could be had.

Hypothetically, that is.

This is so awesome, I have to share:

So I go to Wal-Mart, and on their shelves, they have 'Crank 2: High Voltage' on Blu-Ray.  For those of you in the know, this movie is not supposed to be released for retail until Tuesday, September 8.  As it was there for sale, I bought a copy, and it turned out to be defective, so I exchanged it for another copy that had the exact same defect.  When the lady at the exchange counter dialed back to Electronics to see if there were more copies, she was informed that the movie was not supposed to hit the shelves until Tuesday, yet somehow it was there.

It is illegal for authorized retail stores to sell DVDs, CDs or Games (among other such merchandise) before their retail release date, so by selling it to me, they essentially broke the law. Had the copies I bought not each been defective, they probably never would have known.  So, the lady had to call her boss to get approval to give me a refund for a movie that isn't supposed to exist yet.  

I should've demanded double the refund because technically I could've kept the copy I purchased and reported it to the powers that be that control this law.  Man, I could've owned Wal-Mart :D

Were they rocking to a heavy metal song?  ;D


I think in their head they were :D ;D

I think in their head they were :D ;D


sort of like in the film Wayne's World.

sort of like in the film Wayne's World.


Sort of, except they weren't on a public access cable channel.

Another funny moment in life ...

One I have told many times before, but it bears repeating.  My neighbours down the street used to have a JVC brand TV (same as me, but different model).  I know this because one night a I was walking home, from the sidewalk, I could see inside their house as they were watching TV.  Did you know that same brand name remotes will work with TVs of the same brand name?  I decided to put this to the test, so when I got home, I grabbed my JVC Remote, and as I stood back out on the sidewalk, I was able to change the channels on their TV.  I did this over a couple of nights ...

... I was coming home from school one day, and I seen a Leon's (Canadian furniture store) truck in their driveway and two guys delivering a new TV into their house. 

Conclusion: They thought their TV was broken. 
Actuality:  I'm an evil jackass MWAHAHA!


that's hilarious.... cruel.... but hilarious!  ;D

Yes, he was part of the show that I was working on.


a better answer would have been:

                no... we decided to dress a random stranger in drag in two minutes.... IT WAS HILARIOUS!!! 

                                                              :D

Nice stories Y'all1

I'll never forget this.

I was a junior in high school when this happened. I was sitting in lunch with my friends in the cafeteria. Our cafateria was large with three parts. We ususally ate in the main part, but there was a part behind us through some arches and off to our left where burgers and pizza slices were served.
So I'm eating my food and chatting when all of a sudden I hear this loud, collective laughter starting in the pzza/burger wing.
??? So I was like, "What the hell is going on?" and then my friend Gerald started laughing and pointing.
I looked and could not beleive it. It was some poor kid's mother, weighting no less than 300 pounds, wearing a TUBE TOP AND A MINISKIRT! I almost choked I was laughing so hard. It was awful. Everyone was laughing--even the teachers and the lunch ladies. I don't know whose mother that kid was, but if it were my mom, I'd have ran out in the street and thrown myself under the first movieng vehicle I saw!  ;D

Ok, I got one. I once took a Greek cruise through the Mediterranean. We had assigned tables for dinner so everyone could eat with people who spoke their language (not only did people speak Greek & English, there were also people who spoke German & some other language I can't remember). Anyway, most of us were Americans but one guy was Australian. Our waiter was Greek who I'm sure didn't speak too much English. One of our last days, they had "Greek Night" and the dinning room was decorated like a fish restaurant-with fake crabs hanging from nets on the walls. Our waiter was being funny and took one of the plastic crabs down and put it under the chair of the guy from Australia. We all kind of chuckled a bit. The guy looked down to see why everyone was giggling. He picked up the plastic crab, raised it above his head and said, "I got crabs!" I almost fell out of my chair. But then he said, "I got them from him!" as he pointed to our waiter. I was ROTFLMAO!!!! I'm sure very few people in that room understood what he said-nevertheless GOT THE JOKE!!! I'm quite sure that the waiter didn't get the joke but he laughed anyway because we all were laughing.



Cat