Came into work today and found this email in my inbox.... I swear I am not editing it...what I am about to post is verbatim.  Except for the abbreviation of his last name you will read the email exactly as I received it  ::)


Hello sir, My names Brandon K. I am interested in the position you are hireing for at the ucsb campus I emailed my resume for the possition and I'm currently cheaking the status of the application if u haven't yet filled the paostion I would be glad to send my resume.      thanks for your time


::)


please take note of the spelling and lack of punctuation....none of that was me...  ;D

Holy crap!  Do you get to respond to this?  Will he understand when you use actual words?

Dear Mr K:

Thank you for your interest in the position. After careful consideration of all the applicants, we have decided to offer the position to another candidate whose credentials more closely match the position requirements. We appreciate having the opportunity to review your email and wish you the best of luck in prison.

Sincerely, Q

Holy crap!  Do you get to respond to this?  Will he understand when you use actual words?


LOL!!! I'm torn....we haven't had a position....oh I'm sorry a paostion open for over a year... I'm not entirely certain that this isn't a viral pfishing scheme so I am scared to respond to it...but I really, really want to!  ;D

Dear Mr K:

Thank you for your interest in the position. After careful consideration of all the applicants, we have decided to offer the position to another candidate whose credentials more closely match the position requirements. We appreciate having the opportunity to review your email and wish you the best of luck in prison.

Sincerely, Q



close to what my reply was going to be....close...  ;)  More like:

Mr. K.

Dude? Are you serious? I know the job market has hit an all time low but that works in our favor. I could spit and hit a candidate more qualified than you! Tell me, are you typing on a word processor? Is your spell check broke? Did you fail out of 6th grade English and decide not to continue? Do you know what a period is? No- it's not that thing a woman gets every 28 days  ::)

Thank you, thank you for your interest but I have to  tell you... as you stated in your interest letter this is ucsb...actually- it's UCSB. Those letters stand for something. In case you missed the heading this is the University of California, Santa Barbara. We send reports as high as the chancellor and I would be thoroughly embarrassed to have reports written by you cross his desk.

Furthermore, contrary to popular belief, we are a full fledged police department. Our officers are POST certified, just like every other law enforcement officer in the state. We do make arrests. And sometimes, sometimes the dispatcher has to write a supplemental to an officers report.  This will go to the District Attorney and may become a key piece of evidence in the trial. Unless the crime is a trespass into the residence of the three bears, the abduction of Little Red's grandmother or the spider stalking Miss Muffet I truly doubt you would rise to the standards of this department.

Thank you for your interest but no thank.

Sincerely,
Q

*ps....stop being such a tool*  ;D

Nah...you need to see this moron.    Email back that he has the job and he starts Monday!

Where is this UCSB campus anyway?

Where is this UCSB campus anyway?


beautiful Santa barbara california

Nah...you need to see this moron.    Email back that he has the job and he starts Monday!


Good point we could have a whole ceremony just to make fun of him.

Did he respond?

Did he respond?



I didn't actually send him an email Howard....that's just what I would have written if I could have...

;D

Is this guy for real?  He has a resume. :o  How the heck did he get your email in the first place?

I am thinking Q is a weirdo magnet.

Is this guy for real?  He has a resume. :o  How the heck did he get your email in the first place?


Don't know for sure. All applications and resumes go to HR which is separate from us. Since we're not recruiting we haven't gotten any. I haven't seen my boss ( opposite shifts) to ask her if she really got one but she probably would have tossed it since we can't accept them when there is no opening.

Google the dept. And I am listed as lead dispatcher. People think I have more influence than I actually do because of the title.

I am thinking Q is a weirdo magnet.


"that ain't no lie" ;D

Came into work today and found this email in my inbox.... I swear I am not editing it...what I am about to post is verbatim.  Except for the abbreviation of his last name you will read the email exactly as I received it  ::)


Hello sir, My names Brandon K. I am interested in the position you are hireing for at the ucsb campus I emailed my resume for the possition and I'm currently cheaking the status of the application if u haven't yet filled the paostion I would be glad to send my resume.       thanks for your time


::)


please take note of the spelling and lack of punctuation....none of that was me...  ;D


Just tell him to re-apply in a few years, and wish him good luck on completing the 3rd grade.

Just tell him to re-apply in a few years, and wish him good luck on completing the 3rd grade.


;D

;D

Just tell him to re-apply in a few years, and wish him good luck on completing the 3rd grade.


I was serious!  :)

He must be some kind of phony.  ::)

I was serious!  :)


I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and opted for a 6th grade education...

lets just say he probably repeated the fourth grade..... a lot

Came into work today and found this email in my inbox.... I swear I am not editing it...what I am about to post is verbatim.  Except for the abbreviation of his last name you will read the email exactly as I received it  ::)


Hello sir, My names Brandon K. I am interested in the position you are hireing for at the ucsb campus I emailed my resume for the possition and I'm currently cheaking the status of the application if u haven't yet filled the paostion I would be glad to send my resume.       thanks for your time


::)


please take note of the spelling and lack of punctuation....none of that was me...  ;D
AND HE WANTS A JOB :o

Fast ask for the Resume so we can make corrections (laugh at) to it, and then send it back with the rejection letter.  HOw horrible

Dear Mr K:

Thank you for your interest in the position. After careful consideration of all the applicants, we have decided to offer the position to another candidate whose credentials more closely match the position requirements. We appreciate having the opportunity to review your email and wish you the best of luck in prison.

Sincerely, Q
You have written a fair amount of rejection letters haven't you ???

;D

You have written a fair amount of rejection letters haven't you ???

;D


I know...right... he did that well!

For the record. I stand by my Dude! Seriously?  :D

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and opted for a 6th grade education...

lets just say he probably repeated the fourth grade..... a lot
maybe he was a child that was left behind  :\'(


You have written a fair amount of rejection letters haven't you ???

;D
;D  no. but Lady Di used to work at the MBA admissions at the Hass school of business over at UC Berkeley and she had to send out a couple thousand and I saw a couple  ::) 

maybe he was a child that was left behind  :\'(
;D  no. but Lady Di used to work at the MBA admissions at the Hass school of business over at UC Berkeley and she had to send out a couple thousand and I saw a couple  ::)   


what happened to NO child left behind?

what happened to NO child left behind?
well.....there's gotta be a reason to have that program  ::)

well.....there's gotta be a reason to have that program  ::)

Touche  ;)

Touche  ;)
I was left so far behind, they wouldn't even take me in the bad kids continuation school  :o

what happened to NO child left behind?
No child is left behind - because we make them all go behind now ::)

No child is left behind - because we make them all go behind now ::)

double touche

No child is left behind - because we make them all go behind now ::)
good idea, and then the lame kids don't feel so inferior  :D

This doesn't surprise me, with computers, texting and twitter it is amazing that anyone can spell anymore. these new
communication gadgets are going to be the downfall of the English language. Spelling, grammer and punctuation already
suffer from the texting world. Vocabulary is the next to go and soon we will all go back to early man days and communicate
by grunting because people will forget actual words.

Came into work today and found this email in my inbox.... I swear I am not editing it...what I am about to post is verbatim.  Except for the abbreviation of his last name you will read the email exactly as I received it  ::)


Hello sir, My names Brandon K. I am interested in the position you are hireing for at the ucsb campus I emailed my resume for the possition and I'm currently cheaking the status of the application if u haven't yet filled the paostion I would be glad to send my resume.       thanks for your time


::)


please take note of the spelling and lack of punctuation....none of that was me...  ;D



Sadly, I see stuff like this all the time.  It's becoming more and more commonplace.  :(

No child is left behind - because we make them all go behind now ::)


Yep...it's called equality!

double touche
I misplaced the t with another d - I was like WHAT :D

good idea, and then the lame kids don't feel so inferior  :D
WOW you are thinking like a politician now

Yep...it's called equality!
8)

I misplaced the t with another d - I was like WHAT :D


;D

Good point we could have a whole ceremony just to make fun of him.


What shall we do with a drunken sailor?
Early in the morning.

Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Early in the morning.

Put him in the desk  and make him type properly
Put him in the guard room till he's sober.
Keep him there up to he stops slobber.

That's what we'll do with the drunken sailor.

Please help to everyone, I beg you to write correctly, as much as you can.
If not, how can I learn to write well.

Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Way-hay, up she rises
Early in the morning.

I am thinking Q is a weirdo magnet.



You are so right. Look how many weirdos she attracts on this message board alone.  :D ;D ;D




Cat

You are so right. Look how many weirdos she attracts on this message board alone.  :D ;D ;D




Cat



Wait, this is a message board?  I thought it was a weirdos anonymous meeting. :D

Makes a change than dailing wrong numbers on the telephone

Wait, this is a message board?  I thought it was a weirdos anonymous meeting. :D


Well sometimes it is.

Well sometimes it is.


It is now!

It is now!


and you just found out?  ;D

Correct his resume and tell him he's been passed over for someone who can spell.

You are so right. Look how many weirdos she attracts on this message board alone.  :D ;D ;D




Cat


Hey its not my fault.... they're so much fun to pic on!!!

Wait, this is a message board?  I thought it was a weirdos anonymous meeting. :D




Well sometimes it is.




It is now!


Case in point....please allow me all to introduce you to Gibbo!  ;D

Correct his resume and tell him he's been passed over for someone who can spell.


I should send it back with red markings and attach an audio clip of that buzzer sound when you get an answer wrong on a game show!  ;D

I should send it back with red markings and attach an audio clip of that buzzer sound when you get an answer wrong on a game show!  ;D


The grade school red marking thing is enough to give anyone a complex.  Either a buzzer or audio clip from "The Weakest Link". :)

The grade school red marking thing is enough to give anyone a complex.  Either a buzzer or audio clip from "The Weakest Link". :)


Oh Man!!!! that lady makes me cringe... I'd hate to get an answer wrong with her staring at me!  ;D

Oh Man!!!! that lady makes me cringe... I'd hate to get an answer wrong with her staring at me!  ;D


That combination of red markings and "You are the weakest link . . . goodbye!" would do even the narcissistic person in.

Case in point....please allow me all to introduce you to Gibbo!  ;D
I was thinking it - but I let you have the honors  ;D

- Karma should be coming

I was thinking it - but I let you have the honors  ;D

- Karma should be coming


thank you...karma owed...but I still have to wait a few more hours.

I was thinking it - but I let you have the honors  ;D

- Karma should be coming


Sami...I'm so happy for your progress!  Thinking is always a step in the right direction!  :P

Correct his resume and tell him he's been passed over for someone who can spell.


But that's not going to work.

I should send it back with red markings and attach an audio clip of that buzzer sound when you get an answer wrong on a game show!  ;D



You could say, "Thank you for playing".



Cat

Sami...I'm so happy for your progress!  Thinking is always a step in the right direction!  :P
Oh gibbo, I am sorry for rubbing it in!  :-\\ Don't be bitter, I know you are probably just jealous that I have the ability....


8)

You could say, "Thank you for playing".



Cat



;D



I could also say...


Deer Mistur K.

Thank yew fer applieing four the possation but we find sumone mor kwalefyde.

;D

Oh gibbo, I am sorry for rubbing it in!  :-\\ Don't be bitter, I know you are probably just jealous that I have the ability....


8)


Hah...I suspected you were the sorry type..... ;)

;D



I could also say...


Deer Mistur K.

Thank yew fer applieing four the possation but we find sumone mor kwalefyde.

;D



Hukt on fonex wokt for me.




Cat

Hukt on fonex wokt for me.




Cat



me too!  ;D

Holy crap!  Do you get to respond to this?  Will he understand when you use actual words?


Just txt the guy a link.

http://www.trackdayshots.com/posthosting/DoYouSpeakEnglish.gif

And that's just one of the reasons the HR department won't talk to me.

Just txt the guy a link.

http://www.trackdayshots.com/posthosting/DoYouSpeakEnglish.gif

And that's just one of the reasons the HR department won't talk to me.


;D

Just txt the guy a link.

http://www.trackdayshots.com/posthosting/DoYouSpeakEnglish.gif

And that's just one of the reasons the HR department won't talk to me.


I think that'll scare him off.

Hah...I suspected you were the sorry type..... ;)
Not as sorry as your going to be if I ever get a hold of you.....

AND CHANGE YOUR AVATAR - the little fluttering hummingbirds are just SO NOT YOU!  You need something mean, ugly and offensive ;)

;D

Not as sorry as your going to be if I ever get a hold of you.....

AND CHANGE YOUR AVATAR - the little fluttering hummingbirds are just SO NOT YOU!  You need something mean, ugly and offensive ;)

;D


I was wondering when someone would make that comment!  ;D  I think it is time to change and will select something suitably annoying ....soon!  ;)

I think that avatar is blinding.  :o

;D

I was wondering when someone would make that comment!  ;D  I think it is time to change and will select something suitably annoying ....soon!  ;)
SOMEONE please tell me how I could not see Ash's new avatar for days - BUT Gibbo's Annoying avatar I can see immediately ???

Came into work today and found this email in my inbox.... I swear I am not editing it...what I am about to post is verbatim.  Except for the abbreviation of his last name you will read the email exactly as I received it  ::)


Hello sir, My names Brandon K. I am interested in the position you are hireing for at the ucsb campus I emailed my resume for the possition and I'm currently cheaking the status of the application if u haven't yet filled the paostion I would be glad to send my resume.       thanks for your time


::)


please take note of the spelling and lack of punctuation....none of that was me...  ;D


I get those all the time.  The worst application I've ever received was an individual who had taken all kinds of stupid mini courses like flower arranging, be a superp star receptionist etc. etc.  That's fine but along with her resume she tied up my fax machine faxing me all of her certificates!  There were pages and pages and pages of them!  At first we laughed and then I realized that it wasn't going to end and cancelled the transmission. 

Honey, if you don't realize that no one needs to see proof that you took a course on time management, you should be taking a course on how NOT to irritate potential employers. 

SOMEONE please tell me how I could not see Ash's new avatar for days - BUT Gibbo's Annoying avatar I can see immediately ???


The universe hates u. But I don't.  :-*

I get those all the time.  The worst application I've ever received was an individual who had taken all kinds of stupid mini courses like flower arranging, be a superp star receptionist etc. etc.  That's fine but along with her resume she tied up my fax machine faxing me all of her certificates!  There were pages and pages and pages of them!  At first we laughed and then I realized that it wasn't going to end and cancelled the transmission. 

Honey, if you don't realize that no one needs to see proof that you took a course on time management, you should be taking a course on how NOT to irritate potential employers. 


Obviously the course was on time management consumption. ;D

The universe hates u. But I don't.  :-*
That is what I thought - and I love you too :-*

The universe hates u. But I don't.  :-*



That is what I thought - and I love you too :-*


You two are making me (and my annoying avatar) ....sick!  8-P

Sami....I hope that the avatar and comments are suitably in line with your view of me. :P

You two are making me (and my annoying avatar) ....sick!  8-P

Sami....I hope that the avatar and comments are suitably in line with your view of me. :P
so you buckled under the pressure and changed your avatar. you may have to change it again as your new one with that strobe effect is gonna give someone a stroke or make them pass out.  :o

so you buckled under the pressure and changed your avatar. you may have to change it again as your new one with that strobe effect is gonna give someone a stroke or make them pass out.   :o


You know.....I probably wll change it again soon! It is bothering me too!  :o  But..I can probably put up with it a while longer if it bothers others as much!  ;)

The universe hates u. But I don't.  :-*


kiss up.  :P

You know.....I probably wll change it again soon! It is bothering me too!  :o  But..I can probably put up with it a while longer if it bothers others as much!  ;)
You are one sick puppy!  I am immune to bothering; remember I am the mother of a 5 and 7 year old, AND more importantly I am the teacher of high schoolers (plus I am the youngest child, but I will not get into that).  I haven't been bothered since my mid 20's :P

You know.....I probably wll change it again soon! It is bothering me too!  :o  But..I can probably put up with it a while longer if it bothers others as much!  ;)
that's the spirit  ;D 

You are one sick puppy!  I am immune to bothering; remember I am the mother of a 5 and 7 year old, AND more importantly I am the teacher of high schoolers (plus I am the youngest child, but I will not get into that).  I haven't been bothered since my mid 20's :P


I knew it!  You are definitely more of a botherer! ;D  Well...I'm the father of 4 children (ranging from 10 to 17) and I have learned to bother and embarrass them before they can do it to me! I'm a freakin expert botherer and cannot be bothered by amateurs like you!  8)

But thank you for the "sick puppy" compliment.  :)