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Subject: PUNishing! Pa-dum-tum tchzzzz!
Written By: DoRitos on 08/19/08 at 7:01 pm
These are just awful - enjoy!
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." ;)
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here." ::)
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green , Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. ;D
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. :)
14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
.... anonymous
If you have any awful pun jokes please add them to this thread. This is not my original work so if it has already appeared at PPP then please excuse my posting. :D
Subject: Re: PUNishing! Pa-dum-tum tchzzzz!
Written By: Foo Bar on 08/21/08 at 2:49 am
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." ;)
This guy's obviously incorrigible. I should stop incorriging him.
(What can I say? I'm also an invertebrate punster, spinelessly unable to resist a pun. So slug me!)
Subject: Re: PUNishing! Pa-dum-tum tchzzzz!
Written By: adagio on 08/25/08 at 12:20 am
These are just awful - enjoy!
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." ;)
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
5. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here." ::)
6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
8. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green , Green Grass of Home'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Doc says "It's Not Unusual."
10. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. ;D
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. :)
14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
15 . I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
16 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
.... anonymous
If you have any awful pun jokes please add them to this thread. This is not my original work so if it has already appeared at PPP then please excuse my posting. :D
;D ;D ;D These are funny. If I see some I'll put them here. :D