Subject: Political Science for Dummies

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows
Your neighbor has none
You feel guilty for being succesful

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows
Your Neighbor has none
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two two cows
The government takes one & gives it to your neighbor
You form a coopertive & tell him how to manage it

COMMUNIST
You have two cows
The government seizes both & provides you with milk
You wait in line for hours to get it
Its expensive & sour

CAPITALISM AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows
You sell one , buy a bull , & raise a heard of cows

BUREAUCRACY AMERICAN STYLE
You Have two cows
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one , milk the other
Then pours the milk down the drain

AMERICAN CORPERATION
You have two cows
You sell one lease it back to yourself & do an IPO on the 2cd one
You force feed the two to produce the milk of four cows & are surprised when one drops dead!
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you are downsizing & are reducing expenses
Your Stock Goes up

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows
You go on strike because you want 3 cows
You go to lunch & drink wine
Life is good

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows
You redesign them so they are 1 tenth their actual size & produce 20 times the milk
They learn to travel on over crowded trains
They are the top in cow school

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
You engineer them to be blond , drink lots of beer , & give good milk
They all run 100 mph
but they all demand 13 weeks vacation

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows , but you don't know where they are
You break for lunch
Life is good

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows
You drink vodka & count them & learn you have 4 cows
You drink more vodka & count them again & learn you have 42 cows
The Mafia shows up & takes over how many you really have

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in country....2
You don't milk them as you can't touch the animals private parts
The US government gives you 50 million to find alternatives to milking
You use the money to buy weapons

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows
They go into hiding
They send you tapes of their mooing

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls
Employees are regularly maimed & killed trying to milk them

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow
The cow is schizophrenic
Sometimes the cow thinks shes French , the other times she thinks shes Flemish
The Flemish won't share with the French cow
The French cow wants control over the Flemish cows milk
The cow asks for permission to be cut in half
The cow dies happy

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow & a brown cow
Everyone votes for the best looking one
Some of the people who like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one
Some vote for both
Some vote for neither
Some can't figure out how to vote at all
Finally some guys out of state show up to tell you which is the best looking cow

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows
They all make California cheese
Only 5 can speak English
Most are illegal
Arnold likes the one with the big udders

(from D Marsden)