So many times in life I hear people stating, "oh he/she must be going through a mid life crisis"...as a reason for someone being depressed/unlike themselves, cheating on a spouse, not being motivated with work, instantly splurging on material things, etc.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who is older than me (she's in her late 40's), and she was telling me that her husband has been acting differently, and even made the statement to her, "I don't know what I want anymore Kim."

So, do you think that the midlife crisis idea is merely an excuse, or do you think there is validation to it?

So many times in life I hear people stating, "oh he/she must be going through a mid life crisis"...as a reason for someone being depressed/unlike themselves, cheating on a spouse, not being motivated with work, instantly splurging on material things, etc.

Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who is older than me (she's in her late 40's), and she was telling me that her husband has been acting differently, and even made the statement to her, "I don't know what I want anymore Kim."

So, do you think that the midlife crisis idea is merely an excuse, or do you think there is validation to it?



Interesting question. I think there is definitely some validation to it. Many times people (mostly men but women experience it, too), look at their lives and realized that they are in a rut and there is also the sense of a person's mortality. Those two things lead people to get depressed, act differently, etc. I don't think that a mid-life crisis is justification for cheating on a spouse-here it is used as an excuse. There are many reasons why people have affairs. Personally, I think some reasons are more forgivable than others.

When I was in my late 20s, my life did a 180 turn. So, I was very depressed because where I THOUGHT I was heading in life, didn't happen and I had to find a new direction. My dad told me that I was going through a mid-life crisis even though I was young. He could have been right but, I don't think that was it because I was not in a rut nor did I have a sense of my own mortality. I'm not too sure if I still have a sense of my own mortality.  :-\\



Cat

My belief is that there is definitely some validity to it.

I have known both men and women who suffer from it- usually something had dramatically changed their lives, such as the death of a loved one, or a major accident.

In a sense, it may have to do with facing one's mortality.
For the men I've known who went through it, most of them were facing the fact that "there were things they always wanted to do, and hadn't done", or they were trying to "re-capture their former youth".

For the women, it seemed to be an issue of self-confidence.
Making sure they could "compete with the younger women", or "making sure they still got it".

I'm sure it is a very psychologically trying time- I dread the time when mine will hit.

I think you have a point Erin in that I do think some people use it as an excuse for bad behaviour...............

I think you have a point Erin in that I do think some people use it as an excuse for bad behaviour...............

I do believe some people suffer from mid-life crisis,I also believe that some people use that as an excuse,Why is it when some one has an affair they always say they were having a mid-life crisis.I know there are times when things happen in your lifel,like Hawk mentioned that can cause you to have a crisis(whether it be mid-life or at any age)
Do some people mix up mid- life crisis and wanting change in their life,or are they the same thing?

Methinks it is a term for "My life sucks, so I'm going to do something impulsive to spice it up."

I think it's a combination of all the above answers plus insecurity. I'm sure they ask themselves; 'Hang on, I'm 40 - what have I done with my life?' They evaluate their past and their present status and, realising that time is ticking on mercilessly, try overcompensation as a means to fill the void within themselves.

I think it's a combination of all the above answers plus insecurity. I'm sure they ask themselves; 'Hang on, I'm 40 - what have I done with my life?' They evaluate their past and their present status and, realising that time is ticking on mercilessly, try overcompensation as a means to fill the void within themselves.



that's very true..and if that is the case..I can feel myself being right in the midst of it. I am only 31, but I feel this sense of doom sometimes...thinking that I will never "make anything" of myself...nor, accomplish the many things that I had set for myself.  I think depression is a huge part of a midlife crisis.

Do you think that anyone over the age of 20 can technically have one...or do you feel that a "true" midlife crisis doesn't happen until later in life?

that's very true..and if that is the case..I can feel myself being right in the midst of it. I am only 31, but I feel this sense of doom sometimes...thinking that I will never "make anything" of myself...nor, accomplish the many things that I had set for myself.  I think depression is a huge part of a midlife crisis.

Do you think that anyone over the age of 20 can technically have one...or do you feel that a "true" midlife crisis doesn't happen until later in life?
I would call what you are having a 'life crisis' rather than a mid-life crisis. You have had a lot go on in the last year or so and it would make anyone reflect on what's good and bad in their life and what they have or haven't achieved. Like my sister's fire last year. She had a completely understandable mini breakdown after it first happened. Now she looks back and sees in some ways it did her good because she had to take stock and really look at who she was, and it forced her to let go of a hell of a lot of negative influences/objects she was holding on to.

that's very true..and if that is the case..I can feel myself being right in the midst of it. I am only 31, but I feel this sense of doom sometimes...thinking that I will never "make anything" of myself...nor, accomplish the many things that I had set for myself.  I think depression is a huge part of a midlife crisis.

Do you think that anyone over the age of 20 can technically have one...or do you feel that a "true" midlife crisis doesn't happen until later in life?


I've been there before so understand your thoughts entirely.

I think it's only called 'mid-life crisis' because it often happens around this time when things are just moving along instead of everything being an adventure when young. What is interesting is a 'mid life crisis' seems to follow the same thought patterns as depression ('What's life all about?','Is this all that life has to offer me?','Is life really worth the effort?','Should I be earning more money/have more things/have more sex for a man of my age?','Now that I have reached 40, can I still attract men anymore?','Is the husband/boyfriend I have now enough for me anymore?') and it is made worse when you see other people that you believe are more successful than yourself.

IMO 'Mid life crisis' can happen at any age where a person is still finding his/her way through life or not satisfied with what they have when they thought that is what it took. My life is one big long midlife crisis, ha ha.

My life is one big long midlife crisis, ha ha.


Reading my script again, I see!  ::)

Reading my script again, I see!  ::)


You the same too Paul? Lol. This must be a rare occassion where Paul uses a smilie.  ;)