In general I've always felt like I was a bunch of "people" at once.

See, on the one hand I've always been a very analytical person and paid lots of attention to details. Whenever I got into something, I really got into it too. This goes pretty far back in my memory with things I've pretty much stayed interested in at least to a point (i.e. US geography, music, selected TV shows, Weird Al Yankovic, shopping, comparing different things with each other, analyzing details in movies, pop culture/decades, sunrises and sunsets, people's life stories, the '80s....and on and on).

I was never outright teased/picked on about this as a kid (or now), but there were people who would say to the effect of "who cares dude" or treated me like I needed to get a life. I guess the crux of the reason it sorta hurt and annoyed me was that it sometimes felt like people were slamming intelligence or being smart in general. Also, I think everyone wants to share their interests with other people and wants to be liked or accepted to a point. When you feel alone, that's not fun.

However, that geeky side of me has always co-existed with the personality of this easygoing, almost surferish dude who finds humor and fun in pretty much anything. I have a jokey nature, and it doesn't take much to entertain me. People have often said they mistook me for a younger guy for this reason (even if I tend to look a little youngish for 26 anyway). Yet that's contrasted with like this matured worldview and way of communicating. So many people told me I was "smart for my age" growing up. That gave me mixed reactions too, 'cause as much as I took that as a compliment personally, it was like what, are other kids supposed to be stupid?

Point being (before this turns into another novel), has anyone ever felt like they had alot of sides to themselves that couldn't be more opposed to each other, yet somehow they were tied together too?

Yeah, what is kind of strange about me is that I am a different person at work than I am at home, a different person with friends in a bar than I am with my mom and grandparents, yet I always still have (and never hide) the same interests, tastes, likes, dislikes, etc.

What i notice though, is I am hard working, completely responsible, dependable, etc. at work but at home I'm lazy, I procrastinate, I just don't want to get moving.  When I'm with friends, I cuss more, am more sarcastic, joke around more, but when I'm at a family event I never have a foul word come out of my mouth, and I'm much more serious.

It doesn't take any thought, it just happens.  I could cuss in front of my mom, I'm sure she wouldn't be shocked by it, but I never even get the notion to... it's like that side of me is automatically blocked when I'm around them.

I have thought about that before, I think it's kind of odd.

^ Very true, I think whatever environment we're in at the moment shapes how we act or what we would say, even if unintentionally.

When I write, I become the person I actually am. To talk to me, or even how I am here, is completely different than when I sit down and write. It's so hard for me to convey how I am feeling inside with spoken words. I've tried numerous times, but I'm just not a good speaker. If you've read anything I've ever written you know me more than if you've ever talked to me in person (Or on this forum, rather).

When I write, I become the person I actually am. To talk to me, or even how I am here, is completely different than when I sit down and write. It's so hard for me to convey how I am feeling inside with spoken words. I've tried numerous times, but I'm just not a good speaker. If you've read anything I've ever written you know me more than if you've ever talked to me in person (Or on this forum, rather).


I think I come across different when I talk than when I write (well, you've heard me on teamspeak so you know) but typing on here for me is more equal to writing than speaking.

Yes..infact, I often feel like I am in conflict with myself.  You see, one side of me is this giddy, fun-loving, creative, positive, energetic, outgoing, quirky person. This is the side that most people see of me. But..the other side is the complete opposite..and it can turn on and off rather quickly.  Even when I am in the middle of being in my other side....I still try to hide it the best I can, and put on that happy face once again. The other side to me is very depressed, overwhelmed, moody..very moody, negative, dark, and downright scary sometimes. I don't like many people to see this side of me..because when they do, they are terribly surprised.  It gets really exhausting sometimes...carrying such complete opposite traits. :-\\

Yeah, I'm a different person in some ways to everyone I meet. I can be the clown, thinker, or depressed, depending on who I'm around.

When I write, I become the person I actually am. To talk to me, or even how I am here, is completely different than when I sit down and write. It's so hard for me to convey how I am feeling inside with spoken words. I've tried numerous times, but I'm just not a good speaker. If you've read anything I've ever written you know me more than if you've ever talked to me in person (Or on this forum, rather).


I think I come across different when I talk than when I write (well, you've heard me on teamspeak so you know) but typing on here for me is more equal to writing than speaking.

I agree with this too.

Some of the reasons I think that online or written communication tends to click better for some of us are that (1) you're not under nearly as much of a time constriction, so you can take time to elaborate on points (whereas when it's live, the other person could interrupt you or get bored lol); and (2) because we're naturally worried or at least conscious of being judged or wanting to come off a certain way. With at least the partial anonymousity of the 'net, we know that we're more likely to be judged on our words more than how we look or act. This has always been especially true with me if I'm around some cute girl for instance, lol.

Both of these things can ease us up alot.

Also, another thing with me is that, since I have so much to say about stuff, sometimes it'll come out jumbled together or at least inferior to what I wanted it to be. Oftentimes a real life conversation or interaction will end with me ultimately going to myself a minute later, Awww man! That's what I should've said! ;D

I'm many different people. A psycho, a bitch, the shy girl, the jokester, the drunkard, the friend....they're all different parts of me. I embrace them all. However, lately it seems that the psycho/bitch part of me is taking over more and more. Hello, therapy.

Can anyone identify with what I'm saying in my original point? Because that's one thing I've often felt alone, sometimes even upset about over the years. Like when people sorta trash the concept of studying things really deeply beyond a surface level, to where they think you need to "get a life". Especially stuff most people don't really care about, like how certain characters in a movie might've reacted to a hypothetical situation. For instance, when I regularly posted on the Back To The Future boards, some of us would occasionally analyze how aspects of time travel worked, or what Marty may have done if so and so happened. Invariably someone else would have to chime in with "who cares, it's just a movie".

However, the fact that I have a deep interest in stuff like that doesn't mean I don't have a life or that I'm antisocial, far from it. I hate that stereotype and others like it. I've been wired like that forever, yet I'm not the archtypical geek/nerd (although there's certainly nothing wrong with being one). ;)

That's what I'm talking about, 'cause I've had quite a few experiences like this in real life too. A few years ago, this one girl I went on one date with got sick of me (I heard through a mutual friend - we all went to class together) because of how I analyzed years, electronics, individual situations, different people and everything else that came up. This guy told me she said to the effect of "I thought he was cool at first and he's sorta cute, but my gosh he's annoying, I've known people like that before". Things like this have really put a dent in my self confidence over time. Again, I guess what confused her was how my initial personality was this easygoing, fun dude who she might've hoped she could party with or whatever. Despite having some surface traits that might be shared with people like that, I couldn't be more opposite of that once people get to know me better.

Also, to relate to both points...like I've said tons of times, I'm totally not the type of guy who is interested in girls because of sex. What's even weirder and in a sense, more detestable to me is that some women actually LIKE guys like that! As long as I can remember, I only ever wanted to be someone's boyfriend (hell even just a friend in general) and hang out with/get to know them. Yet my sensitive, somewhat feminist nature is just out of the ordinary for most men, so I have to pay for it and work twice as hard to offset it.

I think I've probably disappointed alot of people because they don't know what to make of me.

Can anyone identify with what I'm saying in my original point? Because that's one thing I've often felt alone, sometimes even upset about over the years. Like when people sorta trash the concept of studying things really deeply beyond a surface level, to where they think you need to "get a life". Especially stuff most people don't really care about, like how certain characters in a movie might've reacted to a hypothetical situation. For instance, when I regularly posted on the Back To The Future boards, some of us would occasionally analyze how aspects of time travel worked, or what Marty may have done if so and so happened. Invariably someone else would have to chime in with "who cares, it's just a movie".

However, the fact that I have a deep interest in stuff like that doesn't mean I don't have a life or that I'm antisocial, far from it. I hate that stereotype and others like it. I've been wired like that forever, yet I'm not the archtypical geek/nerd (although there's certainly nothing wrong with being one). ;)

That's what I'm talking about, 'cause I've had quite a few experiences like this in real life too. A few years ago, this one girl I went on one date with got sick of me (I heard through a mutual friend - we all went to class together) because of how I analyzed years, electronics, individual situations, different people and everything else that came up. This guy told me she said to the effect of "I thought he was cool at first and he's sorta cute, but my gosh he's annoying, I've known people like that before". Things like this have really put a dent in my self confidence over time. Again, I guess what confused her was how my initial personality was this easygoing, fun dude who she might've hoped she could party with or whatever. Despite having some surface traits that might be shared with people like that, I couldn't be more opposite of that once people get to know me better.

Also, to relate to both points...like I've said tons of times, I'm totally not the type of guy who is interested in girls because of sex. What's even weirder and in a sense, more detestable to me is that some women actually LIKE guys like that! As long as I can remember, I only ever wanted to be someone's boyfriend (hell even just a friend in general) and hang out with/get to know them. Yet my sensitive, somewhat feminist nature is just out of the ordinary for most men, so I have to pay for it and work twice as hard to offset it.

I think I've probably disappointed alot of people because they don't know what to make of me.


I think that is always going to happen in life, and not necessarily because of your specific traits, but just because people can be jerks.  Heck, I can probably think of people who would say it's lame that I'd rather spend a Friday evening talking to people on a message board than going out to a club... but if someone thinks that and therefore thinks I'm not worth their time, fine...  I don't think my husband likes too much when I spend my evenings on here either but I don't want to sit in the living room and watch wrestling with him either... so he accepts it... and it hasn't become a problem at all.  Sometimes I have to listen to him talk about who Vince McMahon's illegitimate son is or who got married in the ring but that's just him... and i accept that.

The problem is that people don't take the time to get to know you and learn all your traits, they just find one they don't care for and split.  And that's their loss, not yours.

^ Thanks Andrea, I agree with that too (must've signed out this morning before I noticed this post). :) Yeah I've never been the clubbing type, even if my surface personality might suggest otherwise when people first meet me. I've also experienced people who judge on initial traits and don't really move beyond that - not just with me but anyone. That's really a sad statement on society in general, but I guess we can't change people's minds if that's how they are. Just value who we do click with.

*BUMP* ;)