Ever hear this song by XTC. This is how I felt today after a coversation with a coworker. We were talking about
plans made at an earlier age. I remember talking to a coworker in 1983 about my future plans. I distinctly remember
saying, "When I'm 45 I will have a house that sits by itself, a Harley, a boat to go deep sea fishing, a pool table and
a sound studio in the basement." These were my plans, this is what I wanted, guess what?

ALL OF A SUDDEN IT'S TOO LATE!!!

I'm 45, not only do I not have a sound studio, I haven't even had my drum kit put together in 15 years, I have a cue stick
but no pool table and the only boat I have is a part of a Christmas display, the only thing I can say I have is the Harley.

What happened? Where did the time go? What now?

Is it really too late? The only time when it is too late is when they are burying you. You have figure out what you REALLY want out of life and what is important. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to have the things you TRULY want. You have to choose if you would rather have that pool table or take the family to Disney World.  You have to choose do I want that BIG house and work the rest of my life just to live in it or do I want a nice cozy place that I can retire early. The choices are yours.



Cat

Is it really too late? The only time when it is too late is when they are burying you. You have figure out what you REALLY want out of life and what is important. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to have the things you TRULY want. You have to choose if you would rather have that pool table or take the family to Disney World.  You have to choose do I want that BIG house and work the rest of my life just to live in it or do I want a nice cozy place that I can retire early. The choices are yours.



Yeah, I know it's not really too late, I just looked back at what I done with my life thus far. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would
change very little about my life if I could. I'm not too disappointed in the way things turned out, it's just that things I've hoped to
achieve by now hasn't happened. I can still accomplish some of my goals, I just hoped to have it done by now.

It's funny that you created this topic Kevin...I have been thinking about this very thing recently...about my own life. Granted, I am only 30 years old...but I just feel like I haven't accomplished anything really. I get very disappointed in myself sometimes. Like you...I also have a list of things that I would love to do before I get too old to do them. It's so hard when you get wrapped up in family life...bills keep coming in....the years just fly by.

I too am not that old, but for I am almost 30, I should be farther ahead in life than where I am now.  I never really thought about how my life would turn out, but I atleast thought that I'd be living on my own, and that I would have a good paying job.

I do have a job, but it doesn't pay that well, which means I still live at home.  Hopefully by the time I am 40, I will be out on my own, but if I am not, then that's just the way the ball bounces

Goals change over time just like people.  The things that were important to me then...just aren't that important now, even though some of it is still the same goals as before.  I'd like to own..something...whether it be a house or trailer...but now it doesn't have to be a big house, just something to keep the rain off my head.  Doesn't even matter where, as long as I'm with my hubby.  I'm not sure what good looking back does, only to make you feel bad about yourself because you hold yourself to some invisible measuring stick.  Back then when you made goals, you might not have had any idea that life would get in the way, but as John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."  Or something like that.  I think I achieved my one big goal, to find somebody to love that will love me right back.  Maybe it's not a big goal, but...it works for me.  Anything else that I may or may not accomplish in this lifetime is just added joy to me.  Hope any of that makes sense.

Goals change over time just like people.  The things that were important to me then...just aren't that important now, even though some of it is still the same goals as before.  I'd like to own..something...whether it be a house or trailer...but now it doesn't have to be a big house, just something to keep the rain off my head.  Doesn't even matter where, as long as I'm with my hubby.  I'm not sure what good looking back does, only to make you feel bad about yourself because you hold yourself to some invisible measuring stick.  Back then when you made goals, you might not have had any idea that life would get in the way, but as John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."  Or something like that.  I think I achieved my one big goal, to find somebody to love that will love me right back.  Maybe it's not a big goal, but...it works for me.  Anything else that I may or may not accomplish in this lifetime is just added joy to me.  Hope any of that makes sense.



karma Patty...for those very poetic words. :)

Well, I've been something of a nostalgic person for pretty much my whole life in some respect (although, of course it gets a little moreso each year as the memories build on top of each other), so I know what you mean. In some ways I'm proud of stuff that has happened with my life, but not in others.

At any point in the past (let's say the late '80s or even alot of the '90s) if someone asked me where I thought I'd be in "2007" when I was 26, I'd probably have pictured myself being like Wayne's World or something, lol. Personalitywise that's kinda true, but there's alot of life things I still haven't done that I either haven't had the chance, the confidence or the ability to yet. There's also some things I waited too long to try and do, when I thought it would just come to me. For instance, I have alot of casual or sorta close friends, but I've never had a core, clique of people that I see literally everyday like alot of people do. I thought for sure that would happen by Junior High, let alone now. From the perspective of when I was 10 I mean.

There's alot of life goals I still want and I kinda worry about whether it'll happen, because it's such a gamble. I'd love to be some kind of television personality, but it's like if that doesn't happen (and there are huge odds with that stuff, let's be honest) what am I gonna do with the rest of my life? How can people not worry about these things, no matter what they want to be?

Call it simplistic and not very idealistic, but: when I'm 40 all I really hope to be is happy, comfortable, have a good loving family & friends, nice stable job and still have good health.

I keep going back and forth on having my own house. I really want one but then I think what's the point. I have no kids, I am an only child so there is no one to leave it to anyway. Who cares if I pay rent or a mortgage...its still money I won't have in the bank for the toys I really want... big screen tv, mas dvds, a new laptop .... etc.  

I just know I need to get off my tush and do something tho because I know I would hate to die never getting out there and taking the risk. People talk about retirement I do not want to retire from my job I want to retire from some other job  ;D

The former Chief of Police (where I work) had enough time to retire but he continued to work at least 2 or 3 years he worked past his eligibilty. He started young so he was eligible to retire at a relatively young age- he was still in his 50s.

He always talked about selling his CA house and buying something in Oregon. For years he'd lay out plans for me.  Well he was diagnosed with lung cancer, retired & died a few months after his retirement party.  Its sad because he spent all that time talking and no time doing even tho he actually could have afforded to fulfill his plans.

I'm 45, not only do I not have a sound studio, I haven't even had my drum kit put together in 15 years, I have a cue stick
but no pool table and the only boat I have is a part of a Christmas display, the only thing I can say I have is the Harley.


When you have enough money to buy a home with a spare room large enough for a pool table and a drum kit, those two problems will take care of themselves.  (I want at least 200 square feet of 80s video games and pinball machines, complete with neon and  blacklight/fluroescent wall decorations.  Those are easy problems to solve when I have ramp/street access to a room with 200 more square feet.)

The boat?  Well, I want a plane someday.  But boats and planes are pretty similar.  The best way to own one is to know someone who owns one.  They're pretty cheap -- because the maintenance and storage are expensive.  You'll know when (or if) you're ready.  Meantime, why not find someone who owns a boat and offer to help out and pay for gas in exchange for doing some work on it.

The Harley?  I'm a cager, but I like a good drive as much as anyone.  I'm in California, and I use my local motorcycling message board as a source of good places to drive.  (That's just my state.  Read the threads and enjoy the pictures.  Your state probably has roads like that too.  You just have to find 'em.)  Get out there.  Take a weekend off and do an Ironbutt rally.  Or take a day off and do just one segment.  Look, just bookmark that Ironbutt page  (or this one) until next spring.  Trust me on that. 

The joy of driving a cage is that we can drive 12 months out of the year in any state, no matter how bad the weather.  The pity is that we never do.  When was the last time a bunch of guys in cars had a website where they'd arrange to just show up at a parking lot in the middle of nowhere and go for a 100-mile drive?

The downside of riding a motorcycle is that you've only got 6 months a year to enjoy the roads.  The upside is that you guys take every opportunity to make the most of those months.  In every state, at least once a year, there'll be a weekend where you do just that.  Show up at a parking lot in the middle of nowhere.  And meet up somewhere 100 miles away.

Life goals?  Meaning?  Happiness?  Feh.

Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness.
  - Chuang-Tzu (350 B.C.)

The Stoic philosophers reasoned this way about happiness: if happiness is having all your wants satisfied, the surest way to happiness is to self-regulate your wants. Epictetus once told the story of placing an iron lamp on the outside of his house; he heard an odd noise outside his door - he went out to find that a thief had stolen the lamp. "Tommorow, my friend," said Epictetus, "you will find a clay lamp; a man can only lose what he has."

And if Stoicism sounds a little too austere for you, maybe you'd prefer to try Epicureanism.  To distinguish the two philosophies, a Stoic with a Harley will ride because he believes he has nothing better to do.  An Epicurean with a Harley will ride because he believes there is nothing better to do.  In modern terminology, "Do you ride to live?  Or do you live to ride?"  (And as long as you ride, does the answer -- or your choice of question -- really matter?)

I'm 33 and I feel that I haven't accomplished much of anything yet.But I know that within time and patience what I want will come to me.All these things like Marriage,an apartment,full time those sort of things in life that people want.

When I look back at my life, I had different goals along the way-and those goals constantly changed. As a teen, I wanted to be an actress but found myself entering the Air Force. Then I wanted to retire from the AF at 20 years and be least as an E-7-well I was medically retired at 8 years and was only an E-4. Then I wasn't too sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. A teacher? I went back to school, got my teaching certification but then I realized, that is not want I really wanted. I thought I wanted to get my M.A. and maybe my PhD. and teach at the college level. Well, I started out to get my M.A. but never did-but I still can and maybe someday I will-MAYBE. But, right now, I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I am married to a wonderful man who treats me like a Goddess. I don't HAVE to work. The only thing that I truly regret not doing was having kids of my own-but only on certain days. Other days I am fine with it.



Cat

I still want to accomplish some goals I've missed along the way and I hope that within the next couple of years,that my goal is Full Time and that is what I'm striving for. :)

Goals change over time just like people.  The things that were important to me then...just aren't that important now, even though some of it is still the same goals as before.  I'd like to own..something...whether it be a house or trailer...but now it doesn't have to be a big house, just something to keep the rain off my head.  Doesn't even matter where, as long as I'm with my hubby.  I'm not sure what good looking back does, only to make you feel bad about yourself because you hold yourself to some invisible measuring stick.  Back then when you made goals, you might not have had any idea that life would get in the way, but as John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."  Or something like that.  I think I achieved my one big goal, to find somebody to love that will love me right back.  Maybe it's not a big goal, but...it works for me.  Anything else that I may or may not accomplish in this lifetime is just added joy to me.  Hope any of that makes sense.



Awesome Patty.  I couldn't agree more.

He always talked about selling his CA house and buying something in Oregon. For years he'd lay out plans for me.  Well he was diagnosed with lung cancer, retired & died a few months after his retirement party.  Its sad because he spent all that time talking and no time doing even tho he actually could have afforded to fulfill his plans.
The number of people i have heard of where something similar has happened. Spent their whole life waiting to do things and then up and die just when they get to the point they can.


As for me, I'm not at all where I thought I would be by the time I got to knocking on 40's door. Every now and then I have regrets but on the whole life is good.

Ever hear this song by XTC. This is how I felt today after a coversation with a coworker. We were talking about
plans made at an earlier age. I remember talking to a coworker in 1983 about my future plans. I distinctly remember
saying, "When I'm 45 I will have a house that sits by itself, a Harley, a boat to go deep sea fishing, a pool table and
a sound studio in the basement." These were my plans, this is what I wanted, guess what?

ALL OF A SUDDEN IT'S TOO LATE!!!

I'm 45, not only do I not have a sound studio, I haven't even had my drum kit put together in 15 years, I have a cue stick
but no pool table and the only boat I have is a part of a Christmas display, the only thing I can say I have is the Harley.

What happened? Where did the time go? What now?


Measuring your life accomplishments by what you own seems to be a poor way to measure what you've achieved or how far you've come.  Possessions are the result of how much money you can earn, nothing more really.  Want to know why rich people still seem miserable?  They're still trying to purchase stuff that no one else has. 

You can rent studio time, go to a pool hall, or rent a boat for fishing, etc.  Owning those items is more of a status symbol.  It's something to shoot for, but it shouldn't make you depressed you don't own all of them. As matter of fact, to own all the stuff you mention, you'd need a hell of a lot of money.  Boats are a huge financial drain.  Recording studio equipment is constantly changing and getting cheaper.  If you've got money to burn, I guess it's cool to own any or all of those things, especially if you use them a lot.

It's fine to dream, but why be disappointed if the biggest dreams aren't reached.  Life would be boring if you could get everything you wanted.

Measuring your life accomplishments by what you own seems to be a poor way to measure what you've achieved or how far you've come.  Possessions are the result of how much money you can earn, nothing more really.  Want to know why rich people still seem miserable?  They're still trying to purchase stuff that no one else has. 

You can rent studio time, go to a pool hall, or rent a boat for fishing, etc.  Owning those items is more of a status symbol.  It's something to shoot for, but it shouldn't make you depressed you don't own all of them. As matter of fact, to own all the stuff you mention, you'd need a hell of a lot of money.  Boats are a huge financial drain.  Recording studio equipment is constantly changing and getting cheaper.  If you've got money to burn, I guess it's cool to own any or all of those things, especially if you use them a lot.

It's fine to dream, but why be disappointed if the biggest dreams aren't reached.  Life would be boring if you could get everything you wanted.





karma, Chucky...very well said. :)

You can rent studio time, go to a pool hall, or rent a boat for fishing, etc.  Owning those items is more of a status symbol.  It's something to shoot for, but it shouldn't make you depressed you don't own all of them. As matter of fact, to own all the stuff you mention, you'd need a hell of a lot of money.  Boats are a huge financial drain.  Recording studio equipment is constantly changing and getting cheaper.  If you've got money to burn, I guess it's cool to own any or all of those things, especially if you use them a lot.


"If it floats, flies, or f(orgot this one)s, it's cheaper to rent it than to own."

Anyone can get a pilot's license for under $5000. (Usually a lot less, and sometimes the first hit is free!)  After you have your license, you can rent damn near anything with wings for $100/hour. That's per hour of actual flying, so you'll spend more on cab fare and hotels than you will in rental).  Most small planes get gas mileage comparable to cars, when you consider you're flying "as the crow flies" instead of following the Interstates.

If you do it every weekend (yeah, I've got that on my schedule, right below "earn my tenth million", so I'm not holding my breath), it's cheaper to buy your own plane and rent a hangar at your home airport.

If you do it once or twice a year, renting a plane isn't significantly more expensive than renting a car. It's a hell of a lot more fun than renting a car.  It's a hell of a lot more affordable than owning (and maintaining) your own aircraft.  Anyone who can afford payments on a $30K "new car" can afford to get their license and rent a plane a couple of times a year.  You'll see a lot of well-maintained older $5-10K cars and pickup trucks at your local airstrip, and a lot of Joe Sixpack working-class dudes who are very happy with the tradeoff.

I agree with Patty, and others on here who feel the same as she.

I am still young, but the years are creeping up on me, and I also don't want to feel regrets. But, as Patty said, even finding someone who REALLY loves you is a goal in itself, and actually finding that happiness at an early age, then everything else should be so much less important. Love is really the foundation in our lives to keep us going - whether it be from a friend, lover or family member. Anyone who sees our potential and wants to work with who we are, is truly a blessing in disguise. And, something not to be taken for granted. Sometimes some of us pass these things up while we're on our way trying to be successful too quick, too fast, and too young. Maybe if we quit the rat race, we could stop and really see what is valuable in our lives, besides material things.

So, just remember, time can go by really fast and you may wonder what happened to those aspirations you had - but I'd doubt you'd trade it for what you've got now.