I was just thinking about this topic, and I felt like most of you can relate to this, beings that we are all friends and we all live in different places. Have any of you ever had a long distance relationship? Did it work out...or was it too difficult?

I actually had a very long distance relationship years ago. The other person lived in Europe...it was nearly impossible. I think that if we would have lived closer, that he and I would have still been together to this day.

What about friendships? Do you have someone that you feel so incredibly close to...that they know you and you know them better than anyone else knows you....however, the only obstacle is that they live a long way from you?  Do you think it is possible to remain very close to someone by means of internet and telephone only?

Doesn't it suck that sometimes it takes meeting someone via the internet...to really find your best friend....but only to find that they live so far away from you? :-\\

I have had several long distance friendships/relationships in the past and I still have some very long distance friendships to this day.
Before the internet became huge, they actually had penpal services where you could sign up for a small fee and get a list of people who matched your interests from all sorts of countries! I chose a few and a few chose me off a list, so it was kinda fun. I got to learn of different cultures and I actually still keep in touch with a few of them to this day.

My very first penpal came from Texas. Unfortunately, something happened with us either moving and losing our addresses and now I can't find her :0( She and I were penpals for about 5 years before we lost contact. My second one happened in 1996. We have been penpals ever since then (almost 12 years!  :o ) I feel if we met in person, we'd get a long very well! I hope this can happen soon! She lives in England.

I had a few other penpals from England between 1997-1999, but unfortunetly, lost contact with them (although I made strong efforts to keep the friendships alive.) I also had one from Australia. She and I had a lot of fun corresponding, but when I didn't write her right away, she became hurt, and appeared to not write me anymore after that. I felt bad that she got the wrong impression from me. I still hope some day I can reconnect with her, as she was nice to talk to  :(

As far as relationships go, I've only had one long distance relationship that lasted about 3 years. We met in person twice, but after the second time (a third time was in the works), I backed out of the relationship for several reasons. I believe this didn't work because at the time I felt we were two young to "settle" down, I found there were things that just couldn't change between the two of us, and things were happening too fast. It may have been a ballsy move, but at the time, I was going with what felt right. 

Good topic (something for the front page perhaps?  ;) ). Friendships & relationships take work-whether they are long distance or not. It has to do with how much someone is willing to put into a relationship. I like to think that I have found a couple of really good friends on-line (some of them, here) who I have yet to actually meet in person.



Cat

Good topic (something for the front page perhaps?  ;) ). Friendships & relationships take work-whether they are long distance or not. It has to do with how much someone is willing to put into a relationship. I like to think that I have found a couple of really good friends on-line (some of them, here) who I have yet to actually meet in person.



Cat



thanks Cat! :)  I'm always honored to have my topic on the front page. :)



I have had several long distance friendships/relationships in the past and I still have some very long distance friendships to this day.
Before the internet became huge, they actually had penpal services where you could sign up for a small fee and get a list of people who matched your interests from all sorts of countries! I chose a few and a few chose me off a list, so it was kinda fun. I got to learn of different cultures and I actually still keep in touch with a few of them to this day.

My very first penpal came from Texas. Unfortunately, something happened with us either moving and losing our addresses and now I can't find her :0( She and I were penpals for about 5 years before we lost contact. My second one happened in 1996. We have been penpals ever since then (almost 12 years!  :o ) I feel if we met in person, we'd get a long very well! I hope this can happen soon! She lives in England.

I had a few other penpals from England between 1997-1999, but unfortunetly, lost contact with them (although I made strong efforts to keep the friendships alive.) I also had one from Australia. She and I had a lot of fun corresponding, but when I didn't write her right away, she became hurt, and appeared to not write me anymore after that. I felt bad that she got the wrong impression from me. I still hope some day I can reconnect with her, as she was nice to talk to  :(

As far as relationships go, I've only had one long distance relationship that lasted about 3 years. We met in person twice, but after the second time (a third time was in the works), I backed out of the relationship for several reasons. I believe this didn't work because at the time I felt we were two young to "settle" down, I found there were things that just couldn't change between the two of us, and things were happening too fast. It may have been a ballsy move, but at the time, I was going with what felt right. 



Yes, I am very familiar with the penpal thing...that's how I met that guy from Europe. He lives in Slovenia...we wrote for like 3 years and then we finally met. We both had feelings for each other, but we just realized that we lived just TOO far to pursue anything else. He is married now, and recently he and his wife had a little baby girl. :) We do still keep in touch from time to time.

My first long distance relationship was with Midas. At the time, he lived across the country from me (North Carolina to my California). Things being what they are, it didn't work out, but I am very glad to say that we have remained good friends and that I can pretty much tell him anything. Now we live across the country from each other again, but in reverse (he's in the southwest, I'm in Chicago). I was happy that we got to see him this past summer. Hopefully we can arrange that again and hit up Chino Bandido. ;D

I started talking to Rice Cube back in November of 2002. He lived 100 miles north of me. We got together in October of 2003, got married in 2004, had the Jason in 2005 and here we are. :D

I also have a lot of friends that I have met over the internet that are scattered all over the country and the world. Some you know from here (I've known Bobo for ages) and some I met on another board. In 2006, I got to meet three other people in real life from my other frequented board. We had a blast. It's pretty much the same as having a friend in real life. You keep in touch, hang out online, talk on the phone, and if it can be arranged, have meetings somewhere (Hi Ash and Dagwood! :D). I actually find it easier to make friends online because I'm super shy in the real world and it's hard for me to talk face to face with someone new.

I was just thinking about this topic, and I felt like most of you can relate to this, beings that we are all friends and we all live in different places. Have any of you ever had a long distance relationship? Did it work out...or was it too difficult?

I actually had a very long distance relationship years ago. The other person lived in Europe...it was nearly impossible. I think that if we would have lived closer, that he and I would have still been together to this day.

What about friendships? Do you have someone that you feel so incredibly close to...that they know you and you know them better than anyone else knows you....however, the only obstacle is that they live a long way from you?  Do you think it is possible to remain very close to someone by means of internet and telephone only?

Doesn't it suck that sometimes it takes meeting someone via the internet...to really find your best friend....but only to find that they live so far away from you? :-\\


Yes on both counts. :)


As far as things generally working out, I can't speak from personal experience because I was never much of a phone person (usually I'm still not, lol - other than one big exception). :) Before the 1997/1998 time when the Internet was a regular part of most people's lives, I didn't really have contact with anybody that I didn't know in real life (i.e. relatives, friends, people at school, neighbors I was friendly with etc). That being said, I do believe these things can work out if the people really care about each other. You might lack immediate closeness, but in some respects, you can bond even moreso than you might have if you'd met face to face. I say this just because people sometimes feel more comfortable expressing themselves over a computer where they have time to get their thoughts out, and it's not as limited as an in person meeting might be. I know with me, I tend to warm up to people over time, depending on how I click with them. Once I know someone, I'm pretty outgoing, but that's not the case at first usually.

Yes, I am very familiar with the penpal thing...that's how I met that guy from Europe. He lives in Slovenia...we wrote for like 3 years and then we finally met. We both had feelings for each other, but we just realized that we lived just TOO far to pursue anything else. He is married now, and recently he and his wife had a little baby girl. :) We do still keep in touch from time to time.


I am glad to hear you still keep in touch with him. It's good to know you can still be friends after all these years  :)

Prior to my joining the Board, I had only a couple of long-distance friendships.

The very 1st was when I lived in Utah.
I had a pen pal in Maryland, named Kelly Green.
(We were both in Junior High)
We kept in touch a few months, and then......*poof*

The other was when I lived in Sacramento.
I knew a gal from Kentucky, named Nova.
We also communicated for awhile, and then......*poof*

At current, my best friend lives in Fresno.
But he & I lived in Oroville, and were room-mates for awhile.

I had a long distance relationship with a woman on-line, whom I met in the old days of Napster chatrooms.  We talked for a long time, but it ended with me in rage when I discovered photos of her and another man, with whom she was having relations with on the side.  I left her a nasty e-mail, and never talked to her since.

Ideally though, it's a good thing that I got out when I did.  In one of our many conversations, she informed me that her crazy ex-husband (who was in jail) was getting released, which meant that she wanted me (or someone, anyone) to be her protector.  When I met her on napster, I hardly knew her, and out of the blue, she PMs me in the chat, saying that she's seen me on the chat for a while, and that she has a crush on me.  Sure, I thought that was strange, but at the time, I was a lonely 22 year old looking to get whatever I could LOL

Now I am a lonely 29 year old, only this time I'm not looking for just anything.  No more crazy ladies for me.  I want someone I can share interests with, someone I can share my life and love with.  I've waited this long, I can wait longer

Prior to my joining the Board, I had only a couple of long-distance friendships.

The very 1st was when I lived in Utah.
I had a pen pal in Maryland, named Kelly Green.
(We were both in Junior High)
We kept in touch a few months, and then......*poof*

The other was when I lived in Sacramento.
I knew a gal from Kentucky, named Nova.
We also communicated for awhile, and then......*poof*

At current, my best friend lives in Fresno.
But he & I lived in Oroville, and were room-mates for awhile.


  H-e-e-e-y wait just a damn minute...

  Kelly Green in Maryland was my pen pal...

  Why is the guy always the last to know..!

I have quite a few long distance friends, but almost all of them are people that I knew before from school.

I know what you mean though.  Sometimes, whoever you relate to best is someone that also happens to live far away.  My best friend (who I've known since middle school) lives up in D.C., so I rarely get to see him.

   H-e-e-e-y wait just a damn minute...

   Kelly Green in Maryland was my pen pal...

   Why is the guy always the last to know..!

Are you serious?!?!?

Most of my good friends live over 3000 miles away and then several of them live 250 miles up the road in Chicago.. but maybe it's different as a guy.

If I seen any of them I'm happy, but it's not that big a deal, it's not like we call each other or anything, Oh sure, I e-mail them regularly, but I do that with the people who live in the same house as me.

It's cool and comforting to know that there are others in these sort of situations. I know that my sister Beth had a long distance relationship with Justin (they were 3 hours away)...but now she lives in the same town as him. Things like this CAN work out...but they take effort.

When Todd (my husband) and I first met he was in the Navy.  I lived in NY and he was stationed in Norfolk Va..  We would be apart for a month or so and then he would get a weekend off and drive up to see me.  We talked on the phone almost every day and we wrote letters (most of which we saved).  Later he was transferred to Philly and even though he was closer we didn't see each other but once a month, twice if we were lucky.

After we were married Todd took a job that required him to be away from home for about 3 months.  I saw him on the weekends. 

It wasn't bad, sure I missed him but there was also that excitement that I felt when I knew I was going to see him.  Sometimes I miss those days.

I had a long distance friendship with someone I've known since kindergarten. For years we wrote letters to each other after I had moved from Vegas to the Phoenix area. (I moved back to Vegas a few years ago). When she got married and had a baby, the communication between us diminuished quickly. She became busy with her life, and I was busy with mine. I haven't heard from her since 2001.  :(

Sheesh, I think about half of my relationships have been or ended up being long distance (absence makes the heart grow...whatevah!
:P  ;D)...

The first one happened when I was 18.  I met this girl through my sister in Feb. '91 while living in Phoenix.  At the time I knew that I'd be moving to the Dallas area over the summer as my stepdad had already transferred with work; they just wanted to wait until we were all out of school and stuff I guess.  Anyway, about 2-3 weeks before I'm to head out, this girl's father gets a job in D.C. and packs up and leaves before I do!  We kept in touch by mail and phone; she came to see me in Texas in April '92.  She went to school in NC that fall and I decided to go live with my dad in SC, so then we were only 6 hours apart and we saw each other about once a month or so.  She ended up cheating on me several times and I ended up being an idiot forgiving soul.  By spring 1994 I had decided to move up to Raleigh and by the time I got there we had broken up anyway, but there were more job opportunities there than there were in SC so it all worked out.

Then in November '94 I met a girl at a bar who decided to go to VCU in Richmond VA in January, which was only 3 hours away.  We saw each other nearly every weekend or she'd come down for a long weekend as she only had classes 2-3 days a week.  That lasted until September '95 when I broke it off because I was tired of the distance and wanted to date locally.

I met Jessica on this site...I really don't remember how that all happened, but we had a great time and like she said, remain close friends and I can tell her just about anything as well.  :) After Jess I had met another former member of this board who lived in Arkansas and she flew out to Phoenix a few times.  That lasted about 6 months or so.  My last long-distance relationship (again someone I met through a messageboard) was with a girl from Michigan and that just ended about a month ago; that lasted almost a year and we're still good friends.

I have several long-distance friendships right now; probably more than close local friends. :P  I'm talking to Boston and Maine right now.  8)

I started writing to people while I was in the Marines when I received a few letters from the Operation Dear Abbey.  I stayed in touch with a few of them throughout my time in the Marines, but lost contact. 

I have had 3 long distance relationships.  1 of the girls was a psycho. The only good relationship I had was with the last one but we are not together anymore.

I have met some good friends playing the online game World of Warcraft. 

Haven't had either.(No surprise)

Long distance friendships are not a problem.

I doubt I would ever do a long distance relationship, that's abit of risk(That's assessing that it's an intimate one).

Long distance can be good,like with family i feel like it's better if we're not too close to eachother :-\\

Friends can be ok too,i mean i miss my friends back in Europe but i now talk with them all the time still,so i feel as close to them as when i was there.

Lovers is different though,being apart from your soulmate is so hard,but it also gives you a chance to explore different aspects of a relationship that you usually ignore when you're doing the normal dating thing. You learn to appreciate all gestures,and always have something to wish for. When you have to fight a little for it...it makes it extra special :)

Long distance can be good,like with family i feel like it's better if we're not too close to eachother :-\\

Friends can be ok too,i mean i miss my friends back in Europe but i now talk with them all the time still,so i feel as close to them as when i was there.

Lovers is different though,being apart from your soulmate is so hard,but it also gives you a chance to explore different aspects of a relationship that you usually ignore when you're doing the normal dating thing. You learn to appreciate all gestures,and always have something to wish for. When you have to fight a little for it...it makes it extra special :)



very well said! ;)

Long distance can be good,like with family i feel like it's better if we're not too close to eachother :-\\

Friends can be ok too,i mean i miss my friends back in Europe but i now talk with them all the time still,so i feel as close to them as when i was there.

Lovers is different though,being apart from your soulmate is so hard,but it also gives you a chance to explore different aspects of a relationship that you usually ignore when you're doing the normal dating thing. You learn to appreciate all gestures,and always have something to wish for. When you have to fight a little for it...it makes it extra special :)
you should have a radio or tv talk show to share your wonderful insights and intuitiveness regarding relationships Isabel. people like what you have to say on these matters, and it amazes me that you're so young and yet seem so experienced.  8)

Relationships:  Wouldn't have a clue.  I learned back in college that I sucked at that game, so I don't play.

Friendships:  Most of my friends (not counting co-workers) are more than 1000 miles from me.  Some of us go back as far as the 80s.  Some of us communicate only once every year or so.  Any of those more-than-a-decade friendships, either of us could show up on each other's doorstep (with or without an email saying "Yo, I need some help") and have a meal to eat and a place to stay.

It's been said that "Friends will help you move.  Real friends will help you move bodies."  I won't go that far, but over the past decade, I've heard of both divorces and affairs as part of semi-annual "Doing OK here.  Same old same old.  You still at this email address?" status checks.  Friends know they've got each other's backs, no matter what.

This may sound like anathema to the wireless/txt-message/AIM/MySpace/Facebook/Twitter generation, but what differentiates a casual acquaintance from a friend is that you don't have to be in touch every day. 

It's been said that "Friends will help you move.  Real friends will help you move bodies."  I won't go that far, but over the past decade, I've heard of both divorces and affairs as part of semi-annual "Doing OK here.  Same old same old.  You still at this email address?" status checks.  Friends know they've got each other's backs, no matter what.




I also heard it said, that "Friends will bail you out of jail. Real friends will be sitting right beside you."



Cat

I also heard it said, that "Friends will bail you out of jail. Real friends will be sitting right beside you."


...saying "Dude, that was so awesome!"

I also heard it said, that "Friends will bail you out of jail. Real friends will be sitting right beside you."
Cat


Usually sitting on the adjacent cot, smoking a butt, saying "We goofed up, but it was fun!"

Usually sitting on the adjacent cot, smoking a butt, saying "We goofed up, but it was fun!"



Yup-exactly.



Cat

Si, I met my boyfriend on this very forum (Something we still don't like admitting to people, however). We dated for almost two years long distance. We got tired of it, and I loved where he lived, so I picked up and moved. We've been with each other for over two years now, and it's incredible living right down the street from him. Next year, he's moving with me, so we can go to college. Hope everything works out!

I met 2 girls on-line from California through one of the dating service dates sites. The first girl I met from California I talked to for about a month and than she cancelled her account so I didn;t get in contact her again. There's another girl that I met from California currently online and we talk like every once in a while. I would like to meet her she sounds like a very genuine person. I also met a girl from Alabama a month ago and things were going very very well and I was falling for her but she put the brakes on that but we still talked after she put the brakes on. She still hasn;t e-mailed me in awhile so I;m not expecting another e-mail back from her. I also met another girl from Georgia and she was a very nice person but I was a little honest about something and that ruined my chances of further talking with her and I haven't heard back from her in a week.

I met my boyfriend in Vegas-at a wedding...At the time i was a student at ASU (Arizona) he lives in California. ASU raised tuition and my parents pulled me home (Philly Pa) so now we are 3000 miles apart...we started talking May 2006 and dating December 28 2007, so almost a year...its hard...gets harder after visits, take a couple weeks to get back in my 'single but not single' life...i never would have thought that i would be in a LD relationship- my sister did it with her husband and i would laugh at her when she they dated...3 years later and now i am doing it...

I met my boyfriend in Vegas-at a wedding...At the time i was a student at ASU (Arizona) he lives in California. ASU raised tuition and my parents pulled me home (Philly Pa) so now we are 3000 miles apart...we started talking May 2006 and dating December 28 2007, so almost a year...its hard...gets harder after visits, take a couple weeks to get back in my 'single but not single' life...i never would have thought that i would be in a LD relationship- my sister did it with her husband and i would laugh at her when she they dated...3 years later and now i am doing it...

Sounds crazy to me why would you get involved in a LD relationship?
Unless the guy was really cool, handsome and amazing... ;)

Well Himself and I did the long distance thing for 4 years until we were just too damn miserable apart so he moved here because i couldn't find a job where he lived. I think it can really cement a relationship because you can get to know someone really well when you are writting letters and phoning every night.

As for friendships I have some great friends who live in America and all around the U.K. You have to be prepared to make the effort though! 

LD friendships are managable and you can really get to know someone on the internet, better than I ever thought possible. a love connection between boyfriend/girlfriend through LD relationship is not as good a way to really know if you're compatible. I think that when people interact with one another on this medium, the forum/internet, they are usually always kind and caring and usually always show our fun side, the positive side of ourselves, probably 93% of the time. in real life when you live with someone, you get the other side as well, and that's reality. you then get to witness their negative side, bad habits & things about them that don't appeal to you, you get occasional anger that doesn't flare up so easily long distance, but you also get the physical affection, something completely missing in LD relationships. they can work, but it takes trust and committment.

LD friendships are managable and you can really get to know someone on the internet, better than I ever thought possible. a love connection between boyfriend/girlfriend through LD relationship is not as good a way to really know if you're compatible. I think that when people interact with one another on this medium, the forum/internet, they are usually always kind and caring and usually always show our fun side, the positive side of ourselves, probably 93% of the time. in real life when you live with someone, you get the other side as well, and that's reality. you then get to witness their negative side, bad habits & things about them that don't appeal to you, you get occasional anger that doesn't flare up so easily long distance, but you also get the physical affection, something completely missing in LD relationships. they can work, but it takes trust and committment.


I agree 100%. Being that I was in a LD relationship for about 2 years and then meeting in person really changed my feelings, although I will admit there were even some characteristics I could pick up online that I wasn't too sure I'd like in person, or if they were just imaginings of my own because I was dissecting things too much. Yet, I wanted to give it a chance and the only way you'll ever know is by finally meeting. I was glad I did because if things had gone on longer we would've just kept isolating ourselves from reality and of meeting other people. It's very difficult to end a relationship like that after so long because we literally wrote everyday, very detailed messages about things and then we'd chat for several hours a night, so it was very consuming. We didn't talk on the phone too often because of time differences. Anyway, I know I will always feel bad for being the one to break it off and I'll never really get any justice in it because I know he pretty much hates my ugly face for it, but I guess that's what you sacrafice for the sake of living an illusion of "all is well," when it's really not.

Okay, I got that off my chest  ;D

Sounds crazy to me why would you get involved in a LD relationship?
Unless the guy was really cool, handsome and amazing... ;)


that and he is simple the best...hehe
now a days people are shocked when you get married and you didn't live together...i keep hearing that, "you cant marry some one if you never lived with them...what if they do something to annoy you, like squeeze the tooth paste from the middle..." LD or next store neighbors to be in a committed relationship takes love, trust, patience and devotion...as well as other things. like i already said I live in Pa and 3000 miles away is my bf...that is 3 time zones, we put the dedication in to talk 2 maybe 3 times a day. i stay up later and he calls to check in. i think in some way when you live near someone you get comfortable and don't always communicate well...its a win lose situation, every couple/relationship is different so its difficult to say weather LD relationships are hard...i don't know...

I think it all depends on the person and the situation (yeah, I know I say this alot lol, but it's really true). If you're really committed to the other person, it can work. Somehow you can just sense if something feels right or not. In some ways I think you actually get to know them better than you might if you saw them in person everyday. Plus, it makes the time you do spend together even more special. Or if you have yet to meet them face to face, think how excited you'll be when that happens. It's almost like a fairy tale in that respect. :)

I like the reactions I get when I say that I met my husband online, especially from the older generation. They get this look in their eyes like I'm a whore or a freak or something. It's beautiful.

I don't give a crap. I met him online. Big fat hairy deal. It's the same thing as meeting someone in church, at the grocery store, at a bar, whatever. Except you get to talk more without the whole, "Let's screw and see if we're compatible" BS.

it really is possible to find your soul mate online  8)

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0S020uVejpH_FgAFUCjzbkF/SIG=11vcmur1k/EXP=1195101205/**http%3A//img.vmix.com/imgman.jpg%3Frid=512895

that and he is simple the best...hehe
now a days people are shocked when you get married and you didn't live together...i keep hearing that, "you cant marry some one if you never lived with them...what if they do something to annoy you, like squeeze the tooth paste from the middle..." LD or next store neighbors to be in a committed relationship takes love, trust, patience and devotion...as well as other things. like i already said I live in Pa and 3000 miles away is my bf...that is 3 time zones, we put the dedication in to talk 2 maybe 3 times a day. i stay up later and he calls to check in. i think in some way when you live near someone you get comfortable and don't always communicate well...its a win lose situation, every couple/relationship is different so its difficult to say weather LD relationships are hard...i don't know...



wow...good luck to you guys....if it is meant to be..it WILL work out..no matter what! ;)



I think it all depends on the person and the situation (yeah, I know I say this alot lol, but it's really true). If you're really committed to the other person, it can work. Somehow you can just sense if something feels right or not. In some ways I think you actually get to know them better than you might if you saw them in person everyday. Plus, it makes the time you do spend together even more special. Or if you have yet to meet them face to face, think how excited you'll be when that happens. It's almost like a fairy tale in that respect. :)



yes...very very true. :-*



I like the reactions I get when I say that I met my husband online, especially from the older generation. They get this look in their eyes like I'm a whore or a freak or something. It's beautiful.

I don't give a crap. I met him online. Big fat hairy deal. It's the same thing as meeting someone in church, at the grocery store, at a bar, whatever. Except you get to talk more without the whole, "Let's screw and see if we're compatible" BS.



Amen, girl. I totally agree. People seem to have these misconceptions about meeting someone online...like everybody online is equal to the Big Bad Wolf or something. As you said...you can meet someone ANYWHERE...and you can meet a psycho anywhere too...infact, the biggest freaks that I have met..were ones that I had met in person..at stores and other places. ;)

it really is possible to find your soul mate online  8)

http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0S020uVejpH_FgAFUCjzbkF/SIG=11vcmur1k/EXP=1195101205/**http%3A//img.vmix.com/imgman.jpg%3Frid=512895


Oh crap, now I totally want to watch that movie. ;D



Amen, girl. I totally agree. People seem to have these misconceptions about meeting someone online...like everybody online is equal to the Big Bad Wolf or something. As you said...you can meet someone ANYWHERE...and you can meet a psycho anywhere too...infact, the biggest freaks that I have met..were ones that I had met in person..at stores and other places. ;)


Yeah, one of the guys I met IRL was a total douchebag. There were many times I wanted to punch him or kick him in the 'nads so he would stop being such a perverted piece of crap. :P

He was sorta lusting after my sister (who was all of 15 at the time) while using me. Fuh-reak.

Oh crap, now I totally want to watch that movie. ;D


Yeah, one of the guys I met IRL was a total douchebag. There were many times I wanted to punch him or kick him in the 'nads so he would stop being such a perverted piece of crap. :P

He was sorta lusting after my sister (who was all of 15 at the time) while using me. Fuh-reak.



ew ya..what a total scuzz. 8-P

I think it all depends on the person and the situation (yeah, I know I say this alot lol, but it's really true). If you're really committed to the other person, it can work. Somehow you can just sense if something feels right or not. In some ways I think you actually get to know them better than you might if you saw them in person everyday. Plus, it makes the time you do spend together even more special. Or if you have yet to meet them face to face, think how excited you'll be when that happens. It's almost like a fairy tale in that respect. :)


i agree...I love when i get to go see him...the last day we normally whine that I'm going home...i dread the trip to the airport and when i have to say goodbye...when i get home it takes a day or two to get off the vacation high then i typically go into a depression for a week or so...this last trip was the worst, before i knew possibly when i was going to see him next this time coming home to a new job knowing i don't get any days off until Oct 2008; then its just one week...i love to see him, watch him smile, hold his hand and to have him wrap me up in a big hug...i don't like to walk far away the first day or two i get clingy...i know this...i'm sure he does too...but its reassuring to see him, to have him right there close by...right when we mellow down i feel like i have to leave...were a 'normal' couple just far apart...we have our disagreements...but in the end we strive for us...

i agree...I love when i get to go see him...the last day we normally whine that I'm going home...i dread the trip to the airport and when i have to say goodbye...when i get home it takes a day or two to get off the vacation high then i typically go into a depression for a week or so...this last trip was the worst, before i knew possibly when i was going to see him next this time coming home to a new job knowing i don't get any days off until Oct 2008; then its just one week...i love to see him, watch him smile, hold his hand and to have him wrap me up in a big hug...i don't like to walk far away the first day or two i get clingy...i know this...i'm sure he does too...but its reassuring to see him, to have him right there close by...right when we mellow down i feel like i have to leave...were a 'normal' couple just far apart...we have our disagreements...but in the end we strive for us...



that's so romantic!! :)

I think it's very possible to have long distance friendships... especially when you know the people in real life from before... I have several friends that I only know on the internet (many of whom are here at inthe00s) but I don't think I could ever have feelings for someone I never met...  but that's just me... :-\\

I think it's very possible to have long distance friendships... especially when you know the people in real life from before... I have several friends that I only know on the internet (many of whom are here at inthe00s) but I don't think I could ever have feelings for someone I never met...  but that's just me... :-\\



I could never start dating someone I've never met in person. Justin wanted to, but I wouldn't until I met him... you just never know!

i agree...I love when i get to go see him...the last day we normally whine that I'm going home...i dread the trip to the airport and when i have to say goodbye...when i get home it takes a day or two to get off the vacation high then i typically go into a depression for a week or so...this last trip was the worst, before i knew possibly when i was going to see him next this time coming home to a new job knowing i don't get any days off until Oct 2008; then its just one week...i love to see him, watch him smile, hold his hand and to have him wrap me up in a big hug...i don't like to walk far away the first day or two i get clingy...i know this...i'm sure he does too...but its reassuring to see him, to have him right there close by...right when we mellow down i feel like i have to leave...were a 'normal' couple just far apart...we have our disagreements...but in the end we strive for us...


That's totally understandable, and a beautiful way of putting it. I can relate to what you're saying too, because the only thing that makes good things difficult is when they have to end. Saying goodbye to this guy is probably harder than anything. On the other hand, I think long distance relationships are in a way stronger, because it's like, once you actually do get to be together permanently, if you've survived the distance, anything else will be pretty easy in comparison, lol.

I could never start dating someone I've never met in person. Justin wanted to, but I wouldn't until I met him... you just never know!


not sure about your status...if not married then i would say never say never...my sister told me i would i said nope...and now i am a month and half shy of a year in one...  ;)

not sure about your status...if not married then i would say never say never...my sister told me i would i said nope...and now i am a month and half shy of a year in one...  ;)


I can't speak for Beth, but I am pretty sure I can say never for myself... There are a couple problems for me.  One is, the attraction.  I'm not necessarily attracted to the best looking guys, in fact most of the men I find attractive are average looking but there's just something about them that grows on me.  I don't think I could have that kind of attraction to someone I've never met.  Second is the trust issue.  We all deal with that when we meet people in real life also, but I want to know for myself if I'm talking to a 16 year old girl or a 30 year old man or a 70 year old lady... and on the internet you can be whoever you want to be... this has its benefits, like someone said before, you have more time to think before you say things and can show your positive side, but you really have no clue who you're talking to... and that thought would always linger in the back of my mind, preventing me from having feelings for them...

I could never start dating someone I've never met in person. Justin wanted to, but I wouldn't until I met him... you just never know!


haha yeah considering we all thought he was Andrew when he first showed up here... I had forgotten all about that.. ;D

I too would have to meet the person to have any proper relationship - if it was online, i could grow fond of them, but more as friends first. I mean I have many friends I've never met in person (I can't wait to meet them though!), like some of you here. Of course I've dated people I've MET online, but it didn't really work out. In cases like that the net was used to network in real life. But I don't think I could wait longer than a month or so before I'd be itching to meet them...

Two of my very best friends I have never met in person... Someday...

^ Me too man. In one respect, the anticipation of when and how it'll happen makes me look forward to it so much, but it also makes it hard because I can't wait for it. ;)

This is going to sound pathetic but the only real friends I've had in the past 4 years is online thanks to living in this town. But I broke up with a gal from Vancouver over 6 months ago yet I still think of her every day. We met on a special support group over 4 years ago and paired off. In the almost 4 years that we knew each other the distance and the unique circumstances allowed us to become extremely close mentally and emotionally. Near the end we even spoke on the phone a couple of times and on the last call I had to end the conversation after talking for over 5 hours. Finally she got tired of waiting and for reasons I'm still trying to sort out it all came crashing down.  :-[


I'm really sorry to hear that. I know how difficult it can be to not be able to be close to people that you love. :-\\

I've never been in a situation to have a long distance relationship.

As for friendships, I find it much easier to keep them going if we can talk. I really detest handwriting: it's pretty much illegible to anyone except me, and sometimes even I can't read it. Also, mail can be pitifully slow: I mailed an envelope to a friend on the 9th of this month. He didn't get it until the 19th.

I type slower than a two-toe sloth that downed a whole bottle of Quaaludes, so PMs and Emails are either brief, infrequent or very time intensive on my part.

I can say in 5 minutes what it would take me 2 hours to write or type.

As much as I dislike cell phones, being able to talk for free after 9pm has enabled me to talk to a lot more people than I ever thought possible and keep friendships going that would have otherwise quickly faded.

Speaking of which, I need to call a few people, but I'll wait for a more reasonable hour. I don't think anyone wants to hear from me at 2am.  :D

Ant

This is going to sound pathetic but the only real friends I've had in the past 4 years is online thanks to living in this town. But I broke up with a gal from Vancouver over 6 months ago yet I still think of her every day. We met on a special support group over 4 years ago and paired off. In the almost 4 years that we knew each other the distance and the unique circumstances allowed us to become extremely close mentally and emotionally. Near the end we even spoke on the phone a couple of times and on the last call I had to end the conversation after talking for over 5 hours. Finally she got tired of waiting and for reasons I'm still trying to sort out it all came crashing down.  :-[

Sorry to hear it didn't end so well man, but I know the feelings in general. Now more than ever really. I don't think it's pathetic to have online friends. In some ways you get to know more about people when you have time to elaborate on things, and it's less "pressuring" in some ways than interacting with people in person (i.e. fear of judgement by other people). Plus, in alot of ways, there's common interests you can find. Like this board has alot of old school-minded people.

I am so glad this made it to the front page... I missed it originally



Amen, girl. I totally agree. People seem to have these misconceptions about meeting someone online...like everybody online is equal to the Big Bad Wolf or something. As you said...you can meet someone ANYWHERE...and you can meet a psycho anywhere too...infact, the biggest freaks that I have met..were ones that I had met in person..at stores and other places. ;)


I have to admit... prior to hanging on this board I didn't see how people could connect online now I feel like a friendship is blooming with many of you... there's still a long way to go and lots of stories to share but its a nice start...

I don't date because I do attract psychos...a guy tried to pick me up outside of a grocery store when I lived in Stockton... a month later he was arrested for the murder of a real estate developer (that's no lie)  I also witnessed a guy selling drugs at a gas station- when the deal was over he came up to me I thought he was gonna sell me drugs or threaten me...instead he asked me out...I am soooo glad to be out of Stockton...

Almost all of my relationships are long distance... My parents live 500 miles away

my best friend is in San Francisco - My other best friend who died in 2004 was in still in Stockton.  We talk all the time but hardly ever see each other.

I'm only in touch with 3 people from High School.  Two of them are emails only and the other we email, myspace, text and talk regularly.

I have one other friend I made after high school when I still lived in Salinas.. when we met her daughter was 18 months old.. that daughter is now 20. We talk all the time but I haven't seen her in 6 yrs.

All the friends I made at college...remember I went to college when I was 28 have moved away. I still keep in touch with some but if I were to be completely honest with myself I have no friends left in Santa Barbara. I like the people I work with but I have little in common with them and we never hang out... That's when I found you guys you fill that void... of course its the catch 22 situation of I have no friends because I never go out..

Whenever people call me they want to know what I have been up to and I can't really answer them because I do exactly  6 things... I work, I sleep, I eat, I watch TV, I go to LA for TV related events or I am online  ;D  This makes for very boring telephone conversation... Fortunately I attract talkers so I happily let my friends control the conversation.  ;)



I also heard it said, that "Friends will bail you out of jail. Real friends will be sitting right beside you."



Cat

Cat it's so funny that you say this... I two guy friends in college- we were very close- we worked together and hung out all the time. One was already married and the other got married a couple years ago... being the female of the trio I wasn't in the wedding party Tho I still think I would have made a fine usher...but the married friend was best man.  During his speech he referenced this quote...

He and the groom would be sitting in jail together and I was the friend they would call to bail them out... it's pretty accurate  ;D



Q

Oh my gosh! You lived in Salinas? I'm from Castroville! How long did you live there?

Small world. :D

Oh my gosh! You lived in Salinas? I'm from Castroville! How long did you live there?

Small world. :D


it is a small world - I moved there in 1981 and went to Notre Dame from 82 - 86.  I moved in 1988....I worked at Toys R Us from 86 - 88 and I worked at the Northidge Cinema from 84-86... I'm willing to bet we crossed paths!