Is it possible for a human? Is it the only true love? Do you have it?


I think all love is unconditional. If it's conditional, it's only a strong "like". It exists for children, parents, family, and friends, in that order of how common. Some people don't feel it for anyone.

Is it possible for a human? Is it the only true love? Do you have it?


I think all love is unconditional. If it's conditional, it's only a strong "like". It exists for children, parents, family, and friends, in that order of how common. Some people don't feel it for anyone.


By your definition, I do not believe in love. I believe you can care for someone very strongly (I define love as a strong bond and concern for someone), but you're describing something bordering on altruism... which does not exist.

There is no love, only mutually beneficial circumstance.

Let's say I'm bored, lonely and in need of sexual gratification, I find a partner, who keeps me occupied, keeps me company and fulfills my physical needs.. and vice versa, the concept of love exists only to hone these circumstances. One is far more likely to remain in the company of somebody they have a lot in common with and thus can stay occupied with, there's your love my friend.

There is no love, only mutually beneficial circumstance.

Let's say I'm bored, lonely and in need of sexual gratification, I find a partner, who keeps me occupied, keeps me company and fulfills my physical needs.. and vice versa, the concept of love exists only to hone these circumstances. One is far more likely to remain in the company of somebody they have a lot in common with and thus can stay occupied with, there's your love my friend.


That's Romantic love... what do you in the case of Parental love? Most people don't have kids because they feel like they need to take care of something.

That's Romantic love... what do you in the case of Parental love? Most people don't have kids because they feel like they need to take care of something.


True point.

Well.. a lot of parents (although obviously the minority) clearly don't love their kids in any way.. no matter how you care to define it. A lot of others obviously see it as some sort of obligation.. and then I suppose some just feel it's a furthering of the mutually beneficial circumstances that enable them to continue their path down a comfortable existence.
Not having spawned I can't really say, but that would be how I would imagine it.

I'd want to mold it, but I'd want it to do things for itself... I don't know how much of that is love and how much of that is just responsibility and respect.

I believe in unconditional love.Doing things for someone you love or just being there in any given time of need.

Is it possible for a human? Is it the only true love? Do you have it?


I think all love is unconditional. If it's conditional, it's only a strong "like". It exists for children, parents, family, and friends, in that order of how common. Some people don't feel it for anyone.


  I think love is a combination of delight and well wishing (benevolence), parental love being a combination of both.  Maybe sex love, too, but will only exist if there is secure possession, otherwise jealousy, etc.  Love "on principle" doesn't seem genuine...

  Delight without well wishing seems a little cruel, to me.  Well wishing without delight would seem cold and a little superior...

  Unconditional love?  I don't think so.  In a perfect world every sentinent being would be to everyone else the object of the fullest love, delight, benevolence and understanding.  It's not like that, at all, and probably shouldn't be...

As a mother I know what unconditional love is...I knew I loved my childen even before they were born.  They didn't have to do anything to earn my love.  I will always love my children, no matter what...that doesn't mean that I will agree with everything they do or like what they do.

I think there is unconditional love, usually it is a parent/child thing, or child/parent. I think that most people aren't aware that they have unconditional love for someone until that person dies and they realize how much they would give to have them back, even for just 5 minutes.

As a mother I know what unconditional love is...I knew I loved my childen even before they were born.  They didn't have to do anything to earn my love.  I will always love my children, no matter what...that doesn't mean that I will agree with everything they do or like what they do.



Yes, I agree with this. It is easier to have/display unconditional love for a child than it is for a spouse, IMO.

Love for your spouse is not only harder, it's one of the most "conditional" loves there is for most people! I think domestic violence and the feminist response, and Hollywood have a lot to do with this. People are taught that you are supposed to go from loving to hating your spouse as soon as they cheat, or at the early stages, displease you.

I don't see why it can't be unconditional the same way love for your children is. That doesn't mean you have to put up with their crap, but if you do have to divorce, you can still love them from a distance. I guess most people are too selfish to even consider that; many people don't even have it for their children in the first place.

Love for your spouse is not only harder, it's one of the most "conditional" loves there is for most people! I think domestic violence and the feminist response, and Hollywood have a lot to do with this. People are taught that you are supposed to go from loving to hating your spouse as soon as they cheat, or at the early stages, displease you.

I don't see why it can't be unconditional the same way love for your children is. That doesn't mean you have to put up with their crap, but if you do have to divorce, you can still love them from a distance. I guess most people are too selfish to even consider that; many people don't even have it for their children in the first place.


My husband is my true love, we've been married almost 18 years.  I love him no matter what he does or doesn't do.  I never asked him to change one thing for me.  I love him even if he goes hunting and fishing all the time.  ;)  Does he make me happy all the time?  No way, but that doesn't make me love him less. 

With my first marriage, it was a very one-sided relationship. I had to love him unconditional but he made it clear that he would only love me conditionally. I don't know how many times he would say, "If you love me, you would do this or that for me." With my present marriage, it is truly unconditional love-we both love each other despite our faults, and sometimes we will do things we don't want to do because we love each other-not because either one of us will say, "If you love me, you will..." I have never heard Carlos say that nor have I ever said it to him. The fact that we respect who we are as individual gives us a very powerful relationship as a couple.



Cat

I agree Cat. The difference between unconditional love in a relationship and with parents/kids is people will love their kids/parents even if they're bad people, but spouses will love each other unconditionally because they know the other person is good to them because they have mutual honesty, and if the other person did something horrible they would forgive because they would know it wasn't entirely their fault.

I wonder though, could anyone forgive their spouse for a Chris Benoit type thing?

As a mother I know what unconditional love is...I knew I loved my childen even before they were born.  They didn't have to do anything to earn my love.  I will always love my children, no matter what...that doesn't mean that I will agree with everything they do or like what they do.


Once again I totally agree with you, Carol.  :)

There is no love, only mutually beneficial circumstance.

Let's say I'm bored, lonely and in need of sexual gratification, I find a partner, who keeps me occupied, keeps me company and fulfills my physical needs.. and vice versa, the concept of love exists only to hone these circumstances. One is far more likely to remain in the company of somebody they have a lot in common with and thus can stay occupied with, there's your love my friend.


The funny thing is, you're probably the least likely to commit suicide (intentionally) out of all of us.

The funny thing is, you're probably the least likely to commit suicide (intentionally) out of all of us.


.. I'm not sure how you've tied this in here.

I think.. if I thought up the most brutal, most totally metal suicide ever, I'd probably have to do it just so I was the first. Like, something where all my guts ended up in somebody's face and I managed to gush 10 pints of blood all over the floor or something.

As a mother I know what unconditional love is...I knew I loved my childen even before they were born.  They didn't have to do anything to earn my love.  I will always love my children, no matter what...that doesn't mean that I will agree with everything they do or like what they do.



I agree with you Carol. However, if I would ever find out that he did something to distrust me (cheat on me), I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive him (beings that I already had to go through with all of that in my previous marriage). It's all about trust with me.

I agree Cat. The difference between unconditional love in a relationship and with parents/kids is people will love their kids/parents even if they're bad people, but spouses will love each other unconditionally because they know the other person is good to them because they have mutual honesty, and if the other person did something horrible they would forgive because they would know it wasn't entirely their fault.

I wonder though, could anyone forgive their spouse for a Chris Benoit type thing?

If you mean, if the spouse killed their child, then no. I could never forgive my spouse for that, which shows, that there really isn't unconditional love for a spouse, only in certain circumstances. We like to think there is, but in using that example, then the answer would have to be no. Now, for children it's different. I would die for my kids and when they hurt, I hurt.  I think it's a different kind of love.

If you mean, if the spouse killed their child, then no. I could never forgive my spouse for that, which shows, that there really isn't unconditional love for a spouse, only in certain circumstances. We like to think there is, but in using that example, then the answer would have to be no. Now, for children it's different. I would die for my kids and when they hurt, I hurt.  I think it's a different kind of love.



Right.  I didn't love my husband right away, we fell in love.  Like said before, I knew that I loved the baby inside of me.  I will love my children no matter what, that doesn't mean that I will agree with every choice they make in life.

As a mother I know what unconditional love is...I knew I loved my childen even before they were born.  They didn't have to do anything to earn my love.  I will always love my children, no matter what...that doesn't mean that I will agree with everything they do or like what they do.


Here, here. I fully agree with you. Now, with my husband, I love him. I love him dearly, but there are conditions. I will love you, unless there's an incidence of domestic violence, cheating, or anything painful brought into the marriage.

.. I'm not sure how you've tied this in here.

I think.. if I thought up the most brutal, most totally metal suicide ever, I'd probably have to do it just so I was the first. Like, something where all my guts ended up in somebody's face and I managed to gush 10 pints of blood all over the floor or something.


Heh, I meant that because people who don't believe in love tend to be pessimistic, and they tend to be the ones that commit suicide. Now I feel like a big controversy will start on this thread. Yippee.

I think "unconditional love" is like being there for someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to lend. :)

I think "unconditional love" is like being there for someone who needs a shoulder to cry on and an ear to lend. :)


Unconditional love is loving somebody NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO... ever.

Heh, I meant that because people who don't believe in love tend to be pessimistic, and they tend to be the ones that commit suicide. Now I feel like a big controversy will start on this thread. Yippee.


It's not that I don't believe in love per se, I just don't quite think it's what people think.

If you mean, if the spouse killed their child, then no. I could never forgive my spouse for that, which shows, that there really isn\'t unconditional love for a spouse, only in certain circumstances. We like to think there is, but in using that example, then the answer would have to be no. Now, for children it\'s different. I would die for my kids and when they hurt, I hurt.  I think it\'s a different kind of love.



What if the responsibility was diminished (drugs, mental illness, an accident, etc.) and they were still the person you thought they were? Would it make sense to stop loving them in that case?

Unconditional love is loving somebody NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO... ever.


That's what builds a relationship together.Loving someone in any given time of need. :)