http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm

this was really fun.



Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
   
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Davey's Office party. It was Tia who spiked the punch with too much jaegermeister. I can't help it if I drank 34 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like my dog's butt.

I thought it was funny when I put Hallie's blouse on my head and danced the cha-cha on the sofa while singing `Why Don't We Do It In The Road?'. I didn't mean to break Davey's blender and don't know why Davey would accuse me of child porn distribution.

I don't remember calling Carl's wife a sexy goat---even though she looked like one with chatreuse eye shadow and black lipstick!

And when I threw up on Abby's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that freeze dried peas.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Chevy van through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a funky chicken and have me arrested for Grand Theft Auto!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all blue and dirty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this raunchy stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quietly yours,
Karen (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 99 bucks!

hahaha...this is like Mad Libs!! I love it!


here's mine:



Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
 
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Beth's Office party. It was Ash who spiked the punch with too much singapore sling. I can't help it if I drank 35 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like skunk.

I thought it was funny when I put Doms's bra on my head and danced the hustle on the bunk bed while singing `The Humpty Dance'. I didn't mean to break Beth's wheelchair and don't know why Beth would accuse me of Pulling the tag off of the mattress.

I don't remember calling Mike's wife a fluffy Llama---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Carol's husband's toe, it was only because I ate too much of that Spam.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Pinto through my neighbor's Attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a smelly cat and have me arrested for stalking!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lumpy and snotty. And I'm really not to blame for any of this silky stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and oddly yours,
Erin (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 4 bucks!

my forum quote of the day:

I thought it was funny when I put Doms's bra on my head and danced the hustle on the bunk bed while singing `The Humpty Dance'.

my forum quote of the day:

I thought it was funny when I put Doms's bra on my head and danced the hustle on the bunk bed while singing `The Humpty Dance'.


This one made me laugh pretty hard too:


"So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lumpy and snotty."

my forum quote of the day:

I thought it was funny when I put Doms's bra on my head and danced the hustle on the bunk bed while singing `The Humpty Dance'.


;D ;D ;D



This one made me laugh pretty hard too:


"So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lumpy and snotty."








;D ;D ;D

so funny. i liked this one from mine:

I didn't mean to break Davey's blender and don't know why Davey would accuse me of child porn distribution.

so funny. i liked this one from mine:

I didn't mean to break Davey's blender and don't know why Davey would accuse me of child porn distribution.





;D

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
 
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Kay's Office party. It was Mike who spiked the punch with too much Black tooth grin. I can't help it if I drank 666 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Sweat.

I thought it was funny when I put Pete's Robe on my head and danced the Cock Knocker on the Barker Lounger while singing `Powerslave'. I didn't mean to break Kay's Screwdriver and don't know why Kay would accuse me of Beastiality.

I don't remember calling Dave's wife a Rabid Camel---even though she looked like one with Black eye shadow and Red lipstick!

And when I threw up on Jenna's husband's Left Testicle, it was only because I ate too much of that Sushi.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Crown Vic through my neighbor's Attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a Brutal Shark and have me arrested for Regicide!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Horrific and Sucky. And I'm really not to blame for any of this Vertical stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and mournfully yours,
Davey (Really a nice Boy!)

P.S. It's only 1 buck!

what else is new?
^

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all Horrific and Sucky

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
 
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at anne's Office party. It was brenda who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 11 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.

I thought it was funny when I put leeann's pants on my head and danced the the twist on the couch while singing `jingle bells'. I didn't mean to break anne's stereo and don't know why anne would accuse me of shoplifting.

I don't remember calling michael's wife a quick chicken---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on linda's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my scooter through my neighbor's window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slow beaver and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fancy and tall. And I'm really not to blame for any of this rich stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and very yours,
carol (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 37 bucks!

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
   
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at anne's Office party. It was brenda who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 11 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.

I thought it was funny when I put leeann's pants on my head and danced the the twist on the couch while singing `jingle bells'. I didn't mean to break anne's stereo and don't know why anne would accuse me of shoplifting.

I don't remember calling michael's wife a quick chicken---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on linda's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that pizza.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my scooter through my neighbor's window. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a slow beaver and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all fancy and tall. And I'm really not to blame for any of this rich stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and very yours,
carol (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 37 bucks!

^ ;D

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.

It really wasn't my fault what happened at Sarah's Christmas party. It was Patrick who spiked the punch with too much Hypnotique. I can't help it if I drank 46 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.

I thought it was funny when I put Jerry's pants on my head and danced the Mosh on the couch while singing `Power & the Passion'. I didn't mean to break Sarah's coffee maker and don't know why Sarah would sue me for shoplifting.

I don't remember calling Kirt's wife a fat goat---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Kim's husband's arm, it was only because I ate too much of that tuna.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my truck through my neighbor's livingroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a stupid bird and have me arrested for scam artist!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tired and smelly. And I'm really not to blame for any of this skinny stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and away yours,
Mia (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 69 bucks!

In every letter, this is the best line:

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tired and smelly.

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
 
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Mike's Office party. It was Mike who spiked the punch with too much Baileys. I can't help it if I drank 22 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cheese.

I thought it was funny when I put Lucy's jumper on my head and danced the Hokey-Cokey on the office chair while singing `Macarena'. I didn't mean to break Mike's iPaq and don't know why Mike would accuse me of breaking and entering.

I don't remember calling George's wife a huge cow---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and green lipstick!

And when I threw up on Helen's husband's toe, it was only because I ate too much of that lasagne.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's door. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a motley boar and have me arrested for stealing!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all technical and decorous. And I'm really not to blame for any of this viable stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and quietly yours,
karen (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 369 bucks!

Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth


Dear Santa,
 
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Richard's Office party. It was Mesha who spiked the punch with too much Rum. I can't help it if I drank 32 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Sage.

I thought it was funny when I put LaDon's sock on my head and danced the Lambada on the Rocking chair while singing `Rock On'. I didn't mean to break Richard's palm pilot and don't know why Richard would accuse me of obstruction of justice.

I don't remember calling Luther's wife a nasty hen---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and pink lipstick!

And when I threw up on Michelle's husband's ear, it was only because I ate too much of that philly cheesesteak.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my durango through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a cracked dog and have me arrested for murder!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all relaxed and refreshed. And I'm really not to blame for any of this trivial stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and faithfully yours,
TamTam (Really a nice Girl!)

P.S. It's only 31 bucks!