The ironic thing is I don't really have any in real life.

I guess I'll just be my own friend, my own company isn't so bad.

I no longer have any expectations..wherever the wind blows..

I guess I'll just be my own friend, my own company isn't so bad.


Lucky bastard, I hate my own company.

That's a good song. I like how you somehow managed to get every lyric into your profile somehow. Props for that, sir. ;D

The ironic thing is I don't really have any in real life.

I guess I'll just be my own friend, my own company isn't so bad.

I no longer have any expectations..wherever the wind blows..
Having expectations that don't get met can be a bummer. Perhaps it's better to not have high expectations of people so we don't set ourselves up for dissapointment. Being your own friend and company ain't so bad. Where you live and being in your situation hasn't provided many oppotunities for friendships to develop. Hopefully one day things will change. For now you'll get by with a little help from your friends and you do have some friends here, don't you?

The ironic thing is I don't really have any in real life.

I guess I'll just be my own friend, my own company isn't so bad.

I no longer have any expectations..wherever the wind blows..




ya know what? I don't have any in real life either. I've always been the type of person that wanted to have lots of friends...but for some reason or another..any friend that I have had...we've been separated at some point. I have my family...they are my best friends. My husband, my sister Beth, my parents, my little guy Vaughn....and even my sister Brandy would have my back if needed.  They are all that I need in life.  I have some very nice people that I have gotten to know here at inthe00s....and even if I never get the chance to meet them in person...I will say that it is very fun chatting it up with them on the weekends, etc.  I have some acquaintances (that are more friends with my parents)...but we don't have that much in common...but, meh, really I've learned to be okay with it.  However, Alex...if you feel lonely or need someone to talk to...PM me...I've been told that I am a pretty good listener! :)

I dun have any in real life either... I mean, like.. two. But anyway, I have online friends, some I might even call my best friend! So... yeah, I'm not sure what this thread is about.

I've been called antisocial and told I'd live the rest of my life alone.  Thank God for the internet or I'd never socialize. :-[

Having expectations that don't get met can be a bummer. Perhaps it's better to not have high expectations of people so we don't set ourselves up for dissapointment.


I agree its just sometimes one is led into believing they should be that high when they really shouldn't.

The solution is to date older women I think.

I agree its just sometimes one is led into believing they should be that high when they really shouldn't.

The solution is to date older women I think.
I don't think it's the womens age. I have a feeling that any female 18 & older will trigger the love bug in you if they show interest in you. You're so ready for a girlfriend that you fall head over heels for a chick way to quickly & easily. Not that that is a bad thing, it's nice to be liked and to like someone or even to feel like you love someone.  Don't sweat it.  You're learning as you go along. stay cool  8)

I don't think it's the womens age. I have a feeling that any female 18 & older will trigger the love bug in you if they show interest in you. You're so ready for a girlfriend that you fall head over heels for a chick way to quickly & easily. Not that that is a bad thing, it's nice to be liked and to like someone or even to feel like you love someone.  Don't sweat it.  You're learning as you go along. stay cool  8)


Well I do.

A little honesty and consideration goes a long way. I tend to think that would be easier to find from an older more mature person.

F*ck this drama bullsh*t. This experience only makes me feel I was right to think I should stay away from girls my age.

And thats not true at all, about me falling for any girl who shows interest in me. *I* made the move there, because I wanted to. I regret it now.

My advice is to stop looking. Find something to constintrate on, i.e. school, volunteering, etc. and when you aren't looking, that is when it will happen. I know you probably heard that before but it is true.




Cat

And thats not true at all, about me falling for any girl who shows interest in me. *I* made the move there, because I wanted to. I regret it now.
I was assessing your situation based on past threads where you seem to me like you want a girlfriend pretty badly and needed and asked for advice. If I assesed you wrong and made a judgement of you that isn't accurate, then I apologize.

...and maybe we'll try With a Little Help From the Ents ;)

The problem I have here is with self-identity. Most people struggle with it in some way or another. We deal with what we want to be compared to what we're destined to be, where our path leads us. Eventually you have to quit fighting it. My life is sh*t, its not meant to be anything remarkable in any aspect. The sooner I accept this the better off I will be.

I've just got to live my life and stop CARING too much about anything, investing myself too much in anything or feeling too passionately about anything.

The problem I have here is with self-identity. Most people struggle with it in some way or another. We deal with what we want to be compared to what we're destined to be, where our path leads us. Eventually you have to quit fighting it. My life is sh*t, its not meant to be anything remarkable in any aspect. The sooner I accept this the better off I will be.

I've just got to live my life and stop CARING too much about anything, investing myself too much in anything or feeling too passionately about anything.
Yes and no. I mean, I'm guilty of that myself, there's not a whole lot that I'm too passionate about either. But I don't think you've got it quite right. From what I gather, it's not so much that you need to stop caring as much as you need to stop WORRYING. What keeps me going is that I don't take life all that seriously and I just try and have fun and make the best of what I've got. I think the key is to accept whatever flaws you may have, because we've all got them, and to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
  Alex, I know we've IMed and forth about this very subject and I think finally, after all these years, I've learned the key to true self-confidence. I honestly believe that it's all about not being afraid to open your heart to other people and to show them your true self. I think that if you're genuinely open and friendly to people, the overwhelming majority of them will respond in kind. And the few who don't? The hell with them, I say.

    F*ck it, Dude, let's go bowling.  ;)

Yes and no. I mean, I'm guilty of that myself, there's not a whole lot that I'm too passionate about either. But I don't think you've got it quite right. From what I gather, it's not so much that you need to stop caring as much as you need to stop WORRYING. What keeps me going is that I don't take life all that seriously and I just try and have fun and make the best of what I've got. I think the key is to accept whatever flaws you may have, because we've all got them, and to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
  Alex, I know we've IMed and forth about this very subject and I think finally, after all these years, I've learned the key to true self-confidence. I honestly believe that it's all about not being afraid to open your heart to other people and to show them your true self. I think that if you're genuinely open and friendly to people, the overwhelming majority of them will respond in kind. And the few who don't? The hell with them, I say.

    F*ck it, Dude, let's go bowling.  ;)
I agree, it's not the caring to much about people, you should never stop caring for people, it's the worrying about what people think. I used to do that all the time I was paranoid about people not liking me or making a fool of myself. I took a long hard look at myself changed some things I didn't like and accepted the rest as me for who I was. For example I wouldn't even bother talking to someone if I didn't think they were cool or it looked good for me to be seen with them, I was horribly shallow.I missed out being friends with some great people because I was a shallow pathetic snob, I also was friends with some really nasty tw*ts because I thought they made me cool. Now I have some very dear friends who I wouldn't be without, who I wouldn't even have stood in the same room as when I was  in my late teens early 20's.
Alex it doesn't happen over night, but you can grow so you are comfortable in your own skin and then it doesn't matter if some people don't like you because you can't like everyone and as long as you like yourself so what.
If your life is sh*t at the moment try to look at it as a passing phase and that better things will come along, easy to say when your not living through it I know. Or maybe it's a phase in life you NEED, to learn about yourself and grow, you can either wallow and be miserable for ever or  try to make the most of a bad thing and move on to the bigger better picture.
Finally I know it kills to get rejected, but that is also part of life. It would be so sad to get so angry and bitterfrom it you destroy the good thing when it does come along. Also Cat is so right you look to hard and you won't find, I've said it before but there is nothing more likely to scare the good ones off than desperation. Didn't you say you were going to a new town for work? Isn't that the perfect oppertunity? Noone knows you there so they have no preset expectations.

Yes and no. I mean, I'm guilty of that myself, there's not a whole lot that I'm too passionate about either. But I don't think you've got it quite right. From what I gather, it's not so much that you need to stop caring as much as you need to stop WORRYING. What keeps me going is that I don't take life all that seriously and I just try and have fun and make the best of what I've got. I think the key is to accept whatever flaws you may have, because we've all got them, and to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
   Alex, I know we've IMed and forth about this very subject and I think finally, after all these years, I've learned the key to true self-confidence. I honestly believe that it's all about not being afraid to open your heart to other people and to show them your true self. I think that if you're genuinely open and friendly to people, the overwhelming majority of them will respond in kind. And the few who don't? The hell with them, I say.

    F*ck it, Dude, let's go bowling.  ;)



I agree, it's not the caring to much about people, you should never stop caring for people, it's the worrying about what people think. I used to do that all the time I was paranoid about people not liking me or making a fool of myself. I took a long hard look at myself changed some things I didn't like and accepted the rest as me for who I was. For example I wouldn't even bother talking to someone if I didn't think they were cool or it looked good for me to be seen with them, I was horribly shallow.I missed out being friends with some great people because I was a shallow pathetic snob, I also was friends with some really nasty tw*ts because I thought they made me cool. Now I have some very dear friends who I wouldn't be without, who I wouldn't even have stood in the same room as when I was  in my late teens early 20's.
Alex it doesn't happen over night, but you can grow so you are comfortable in your own skin and then it doesn't matter if some people don't like you because you can't like everyone and as long as you like yourself so what.
If your life is sh*t at the moment try to look at it as a passing phase and that better things will come along, easy to say when your not living through it I know. Or maybe it's a phase in life you NEED, to learn about yourself and grow, you can either wallow and be miserable for ever or  try to make the most of a bad thing and move on to the bigger better picture.
Finally I know it kills to get rejected, but that is also part of life. It would be so sad to get so angry and bitterfrom it you destroy the good thing when it does come along. Also Cat is so right you look to hard and you won't find, I've said it before but there is nothing more likely to scare the good ones off than desperation. Didn't you say you were going to a new town for work? Isn't that the perfect oppertunity? Noone knows you there so they have no preset expectations.


I could not have said it better myself.

Personally, I didn't find my true love until the age of 30. And let me tell you that it sucked and it hurt when I put my heart out there and it was just trampled on! However I look at those as learning experiences, they helped to form me into the person I am today and actually helped me to NOT be like they were to me. I value those lessons in my life because I love now like I have never loved before. Those lessons also taught me that each person is completely different and we react differently to situations. You have to look for the good in a situation - even if there doesn't appear to be any.

There are other ways as well Alex, to feel out a situation before you put your heart on the line. Our preceptions are so different that harmless flirting to one may be declarations of love to another. You need to take time and not try and rush into things because you want it so desperately. The slower you take it, the more understanding you gain and the less likely you will be torn apart. That's not to say that it won't still hurt if it isn't what the other person wants - but it is a little easier and it gets easier as time goes on.

I could not have said it better myself.

Personally, I didn't find my true love until the age of 30. And let me tell you that it sucked and it hurt when I put my heart out there and it was just trampled on! However I look at those as learning experiences, they helped to form me into the person I am today and actually helped me to NOT be like they were to me. I value those lessons in my life because I love now like I have never loved before. Those lessons also taught me that each person is completely different and we react differently to situations. You have to look for the good in a situation - even if there doesn't appear to be any.

There are other ways as well Alex, to feel out a situation before you put your heart on the line. Our preceptions are so different that harmless flirting to one may be declarations of love to another. You need to take time and not try and rush into things because you want it so desperately. The slower you take it, the more understanding you gain and the less likely you will be torn apart. That's not to say that it won't still hurt if it isn't what the other person wants - but it is a little easier and it gets easier as time goes on.




I didn't find my true love until I was OVER 30.


Also Alex, there are worse things that being alone. Trust me. I know from personal experience. You don't want to have a relationship with someone just to have a relationship. I did that with my first marriage and I married the wrong person, at the wrong time, for all the wrong reasons. It turned out to be a living hell that lasted 6 years. You are much better off waiting until the right person comes along. Sometimes that doesn't happen for a LONG time but you must be patient. If you settle too soon, you may regret it (like I did). The second time around, I waited, and waited, and waited and my patience paid off.




Cat

Yup I was 29 when I met Ian. I had my heart shreaded a couple of times before then, so did he infact. Didn't think I'd get over it at the time but I did and I don't regret it with hindsight either. 

The solution is to date older women I think.


Can be much more fun.

I was thinking about this recently, in terms of sexual hangups and emotional frailties, you'll find these far more in your 16- 20something range.

.. not that I've ever slept with a 16 year old girl.

Anyway pal, what you have to consider is this.

Shocking as it may or may not be to you, at points in our lives and for some of us, for long periods of time, we are alone. The human being is a pack animal but, it is more than capable of surviving on it's own.
There is no point forcing your way in to a situation just because you think it's the best course of action, simply because if you're having to push and pull and change direction all the time to even involve yourself.. then it's probably not going to work.
Oh man, you'll like this, I went to a big conference the other day right. All the big hot shot contractor dudes were there (I of course was in my second hand suit and baseball cap).. I would at one point have felt self-conscious seeing as I'm pretty new to the game and a lot of these guys were millionaires, big hot shot mother fuc.kers.. then I thought about it and realized that of all the people in the room, I had by far the best opportunities of them all, because I was (with one exception) the youngest guy in the room, by far the most virile (If you smell what the rock is cookin') and if I dare say so myself.. the only one that wasn't certifiably retarded (I'm borderline). See, address the situation, inject humor and see what you come out with.

Oh by the way, a little story to cheer you up. So, at this conference, I've gone with this guy called Len right, he's a bit of a prick.. but an amusing fella. So anyway, we're there and he introduces me to a fella named Charles and Charles's 'Personal Assistant'. I shake hands with Charlie and then meet his P.A and stone me dead, it was this bird I used to go out with, named Stacey. I could hardly control my laughter at that point.. she was a horrible horrible bitch! "You look awful, if you don't change I'm not going anywhere with you." "If you buy a motorbike then I'm not getting on it." "You want to see what?! No, I want to see this film." Anyway... Charlie sends her off to make the bloody tea!  ;D My leg was shaking..I was trying that hard not to laugh. Bright side of the situation right pal, these things turn around.

I'm in a very upbeat period of my life at the moment, it seems that things are falling in to place real nice, you'll have the same thing happen at some point... things just happen, you can't predict stuff, you can't imagine when or what or why things will happen, they just do.

I wouldn't worry too much about things right now, you'll get wrinkles.  ;)

I agree, it's not the caring to much about people, you should never stop caring for people, it's the worrying about what people think. I used to do that all the time I was paranoid about people not liking me or making a fool of myself. I took a long hard look at myself changed some things I didn't like and accepted the rest as me for who I was. For example I wouldn't even bother talking to someone if I didn't think they were cool or it looked good for me to be seen with them, I was horribly shallow.I missed out being friends with some great people because I was a shallow pathetic snob, I also was friends with some really nasty tw*ts because I thought they made me cool. Now I have some very dear friends who I wouldn't be without, who I wouldn't even have stood in the same room as when I was  in my late teens early 20's.
Alex it doesn't happen over night, but you can grow so you are comfortable in your own skin and then it doesn't matter if some people don't like you because you can't like everyone and as long as you like yourself so what.
If your life is sh*t at the moment try to look at it as a passing phase and that better things will come along, easy to say when your not living through it I know. Or maybe it's a phase in life you NEED, to learn about yourself and grow, you can either wallow and be miserable for ever or  try to make the most of a bad thing and move on to the bigger better picture.
Finally I know it kills to get rejected, but that is also part of life. It would be so sad to get so angry and bitterfrom it you destroy the good thing when it does come along. Also Cat is so right you look to hard and you won't find, I've said it before but there is nothing more likely to scare the good ones off than desperation. Didn't you say you were going to a new town for work? Isn't that the perfect oppertunity? Noone knows you there so they have no preset expectations.


I could not have said it better myself.

Personally, I didn't find my true love until the age of 30. And let me tell you that it sucked and it hurt when I put my heart out there and it was just trampled on! However I look at those as learning experiences, they helped to form me into the person I am today and actually helped me to NOT be like they were to me. I value those lessons in my life because I love now like I have never loved before. Those lessons also taught me that each person is completely different and we react differently to situations. You have to look for the good in a situation - even if there doesn't appear to be any.

There are other ways as well Alex, to feel out a situation before you put your heart on the line. Our preceptions are so different that harmless flirting to one may be declarations of love to another. You need to take time and not try and rush into things because you want it so desperately. The slower you take it, the more understanding you gain and the less likely you will be torn apart. That's not to say that it won't still hurt if it isn't what the other person wants - but it is a little easier and it gets easier as time goes on.


Yes and no. I mean, I'm guilty of that myself, there's not a whole lot that I'm too passionate about either. But I don't think you've got it quite right. From what I gather, it's not so much that you need to stop caring as much as you need to stop WORRYING. What keeps me going is that I don't take life all that seriously and I just try and have fun and make the best of what I've got. I think the key is to accept whatever flaws you may have, because we've all got them, and to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.
  Alex, I know we've IMed and forth about this very subject and I think finally, after all these years, I've learned the key to true self-confidence. I honestly believe that it's all about not being afraid to open your heart to other people and to show them your true self. I think that if you're genuinely open and friendly to people, the overwhelming majority of them will respond in kind. And the few who don't? The hell with them, I say.

    F*ck it, Dude, let's go bowling.  ;)


Anyway pal, what you have to consider is this.

Shocking as it may or may not be to you, at points in our lives and for some of us, for long periods of time, we are alone. The human being is a pack animal but, it is more than capable of surviving on it's own.
There is no point forcing your way in to a situation just because you think it's the best course of action, simply because if you're having to push and pull and change direction all the time to even involve yourself.. then it's probably not going to work.
Oh man, you'll like this, I went to a big conference the other day right. All the big hot shot contractor dudes were there (I of course was in my second hand suit and baseball cap).. I would at one point have felt self-conscious seeing as I'm pretty new to the game and a lot of these guys were millionaires, big hot shot mother fuc.kers.. then I thought about it and realized that of all the people in the room, I had by far the best opportunities of them all, because I was (with one exception) the youngest guy in the room, by far the most virile (If you smell what the rock is cookin') and if I dare say so myself.. the only one that wasn't certifiably retarded (I'm borderline). See, address the situation, inject humor and see what you come out with.

Oh by the way, a little story to cheer you up. So, at this conference, I've gone with this guy called Len right, he's a bit of a prick.. but an amusing fella. So anyway, we're there and he introduces me to a fella named Charles and Charles's 'Personal Assistant'. I shake hands with Charlie and then meet his P.A and stone me dead, it was this bird I used to go out with, named Stacey. I could hardly control my laughter at that point.. she was a horrible horrible bitch! "You look awful, if you don't change I'm not going anywhere with you." "If you buy a motorbike then I'm not getting on it." "You want to see what?! No, I want to see this film." Anyway... Charlie sends her off to make the bloody tea!  ;D My leg was shaking..I was trying that hard not to laugh. Bright side of the situation right pal, these things turn around.

I'm in a very upbeat period of my life at the moment, it seems that things are falling in to place real nice, you'll have the same thing happen at some point... things just happen, you can't predict stuff, you can't imagine when or what or why things will happen, they just do.

I wouldn't worry too much about things right now, you'll get wrinkles.  ;)


LOL, funny story, Andy.

Thank you for sharing this stuff with me, everyone.

You all have good points and they make logical sense, however applying them to my life is another story. I just cannot help myself. I'm love crazy and its how I am, some people need to be with someone.

LOL, funny story, Andy.

Thank you for sharing this stuff with me, everyone.

You all have good points and they make logical sense, however applying them to my life is another story. I just cannot help myself. I'm love crazy and its how I am, some people need to be with someone.


Get a dog. Seriously! I love mine like crazy!

Get a dog. Seriously! I love mine like crazy!


I have a dog.

I have a dog.


.. get a horse.

lol

applause for everybody's great advice. I couldn't have said it better myself! :)

Yeah I'm gonna give karma too, it was very good.

I have a few friends.Robert who've I've know for 10 years,Randy I've know for almost 12 years and my friend Peter for almost 3 years now.