Morphie?  My name's Beth, you fool.



And you're not making me mad.  My sister's laughing at you right now, actually.


i chose the name morphie because i've seen it used in another topic. and you got mad. (or atleast annoyed) as you can see, i've done my research BETH

Sometimes My Father punched me in the arm or slapped my head back in the 80's.He doesn't do that anymore cause he mellowed out after my brother passed away in 1995

I would have them learn from examples of devastation caused by drinking and the irresponsibility that it carries. My 15 year old cousin died in a drunk driving accident in 1991. She was thrown some 20 or more feet from the truck she was riding in. I went to her funeral when I was 9 years old and the images of her and my Aunt, Uncle and her younger sister devastated me and will never leave my memory. I have never been a drinker. I will maybe have one to two sips, but to be honest - I really don't like the flavor.

If your son did it to fit in, it is probably the oldest excuse in the world.

To discipline, (and only you know how good or bad your kid's track record is with this stuff, so if this is something out of character for him...) discipline shouldn't be out of malice or be overdone. I would take privelidges away and just be frank with the kid. Just explain to them how disappointed you are in them for 1) lying and 2) drinking under their age limit. And ask him how he feels about it.


To me, this is the big issue at hand.

I really can't see what the big deal with a few kids (who are more than likely physically able to handle it) having a few beers is.

However, when they decide to drive home, that's where the trouble starts.

It's hard to tread the thin line.

Has anyone ever gotten soap in their mouth as a punishment?

^ I did Howard. I refused to wash my hands when I was young and my Dad got fed up with me.

^ I did Howard. I refused to wash my hands when I was young and my Dad got fed up with me.



Did he like punch your arm or slap your head? :o

Did he like punch your arm or slap your head? :o


Oh, no. The soap thing was probably one of the worst things my Dad ever did. But, usually, he had very good reason for his punishments. He was never that bad to us. The only other time my Dad got really upset with me is when I slipped and said a foul word. He pushed me up against the wall and said to never say it again and not to talk back. I look back now, and I realised I was being mouthy and I felt bad.

Oh, no. The soap thing was probably one of the worst things my Dad ever did. But, usually, he had very good reason for his punishments. He was never that bad to us. The only other time my Dad got really upset with me is when I slipped and said a foul word. He pushed me up against the wall and said to never say it again and not to talk back. I look back now, and I realised I was being mouthy and I felt bad.



I hated the soap bit.My Mother forced into my mouth the big chunk. :P

I hated the soap bit.My Mother forced into my mouth the big chunk. :P


Was it Ivory soap? That's what my Dad gave me. It tasted awful  ;D

Was it Ivory soap? That's what my Dad gave me. It tasted awful  ;D



Coast Deodarant Soap

Coast Deodarant Soap


That stuff is pretty awful, too.  :(

That stuff is pretty awful, too.  :(



Did you ever swallow some?

Did you ever swallow some?


Woooww.. Howard, slow down.

Woooww.. Howard, slow down.



I meant soap,Damn You. ::)

I meant soap,Damn You. ::)


Sure ya did big guy.

Sure ya did big guy.



What did you think I meant? ::)

Was it Ivory soap? That's what my Dad gave me. It tasted awful  ;D
I use liquid soap with my kids.....the even BETTER part is when my son was mouthing back to me at our lake house, I made HIM go up to the house to get it.....one of the other moms that was there was AMAZED that he did it (since there's no way in he|| her son would ever do that.....not that she'd ever even threaten it ::)).

The first time, I just make them lick the spout, the second time they do it, they get a full pump ;)

I use liquid soap with my kids.....the even BETTER part is when my son was mouthing back to me at our lake house, I made HIM go up to the house to get it.....one of the other moms that was there was AMAZED that he did it (since there's no way in he|| her son would ever do that.....not that she'd ever even threaten it ::)).

The first time, I just make them lick the spout, the second time they do it, they get a full pump ;)


You're freakin evil.

That's total psychological mind fu.ckery.

I'm impressed.

Did you ever swallow some?


;D Poor Howard, when he's really being serious, people take it the wrong way anyway... it's okay..

I probably swallowed a little. But, it was a bar, so it didn't disintegrate all that much.

I probably swallowed a little.


Not what I heard.

Has anyone ever gotten soap in their mouth as a punishment?



Nope.  My grandmother did that to my mom when she was a little girl and she got so sick she had to go the hospital.  My mom said she'd never do that to her kids.

Has anyone ever gotten soap in their mouth as a punishment?


I haven't, thank god.

Not what I heard.


So wrong, man - so wrong  ;D

Being a 16-year old at the moment who does not drink, I think you should take the Carrie route and lock him in a closet and make him pray, until he passes out, and beat him with the bible. Either that, or chain him to you, and sitcom fun would ensue.

But, seriously...last year, when I was 15, three "upstanding kids" got caught on an elementary school field, drunk. One of them, a star student and athlete headed for Harvard (with a legacy), was high, drinking beers and shots, and fell asleep and almost choked on his own vomit. The three girls there with him called the police and got the book thrown at them. In my town, kids get their stomach pumped every week, and parents don't care less. When somebody tried to start a "Safe Homes", their houses got egged and toilet papered. Actually, I think a halfway decent punishment for drinking and driving would be taking him down to look at the winos in the bad part of town.

Being a 16-year old at the moment who does not drink, I think you should take the Carrie route and lock him in a closet and make him pray, until he passes out, and beat him with the bible. Either that, or chain him to you, and sitcom fun would ensue.

But, seriously...last year, when I was 15, three "upstanding kids" got caught on an elementary school field, drunk. One of them, a star student and athlete headed for Harvard (with a legacy), was high, drinking beers and shots, and fell asleep and almost choked on his own vomit. The three girls there with him called the police and got the book thrown at them. In my town, kids get their stomach pumped every week, and parents don't care less. When somebody tried to start a "Safe Homes", their houses got egged and toilet papered. Actually, I think a halfway decent punishment for drinking and driving would be taking him down to look at the winos in the bad part of town.
;D LOL  that's funny James, & as for the winos, when I was 13-14 we'd give them money to buy us booze, so not sure thats a good idea. I started out gettin drunk very young and was one of the bad kids parents wouldn't like their kids running around with, and now I'm the good guy and have learned a thing or 2 and hope my wife & I have raised our 17 year old daughter to make good choices in life. But they're her choices & i know there will be times she will be offered, and hopefully she won't be interested in that because I've done enough partying for 250 of of us and got the dead brain cells to prove it.  :D I think CeeKay did as good as any parent can in administering a fair and just punishment for her son.

What do you think is a fair response to a teen who goes to a drinking party and lies to his mom about it?


Late to the thread, hate to swing it back on topic, but wotthehell...

Dumb@ss question:  As a non-parent, but as someone who remembers his parents, why should the kid feel he has to lie about it?  If I were a parent, I'd go with "Grounding and driving him to and from everywhere he goes for a couple of months",  but with the deliberate loophole that there's no punishment  if the kid calls and says "Yo, Mom?  At this great party, but there was drinking.    Can't drive.  The last sober dude left an hour ago.  So I either need a ride home tonight from you, or I need to sleep here and come home tomorrow morning." 

'Cuz those were basically the options my folks gave me, and it seemed to work out OK.

Back in my young'un days, my folks made it pretty clear that they preferred that I not drink. But they also made it clear that that if I drank, the right thing to do was to either call and ask for a ride home, or that if I was so far gone that I couldn't face 'em (even knowing there would be no punishment involved!), that I could I call and tell 'em that I'm sleeping over.  As long as the keys stayed out of the ignition,  and as long as I wasn't lying about it, there was no harm, no foul. 

The important part is that by giving me those three options (1: lay off the booze.  2: call and ask for a ride home.  3: call and let 'em know I've really screwed up and am sleeping it off) as "no harm, no foul" options, they didn't have to tell me that "option" 4: weaving my way home half-buzzed, hoping not to get busted while and hoping not to kill someone just to make curfew -- was simply not an option. 

Result for me was that 90% of the time, I stayed off the bottle altogether and made curfew, fair and square.  5% of the time, the party really did run on for an hour or two later than expected, and/or as the designated driver, I wound up doing taxi duty for my inebriated friends and missed curfew for a darn good reason.  But the other 5% of the time, I'd had a beer or two - and wanted to give myself the time to be sure I was sober.  So those 10% of the parties, I called 'the folks and told 'em I was gonna be late. I gave them the courtesy of a phone call, and they gave me the courtesy of pretending to stay asleep when I came home late, and the courtesy of not being picky about why i was late.  Didn't really realize until college (when I saw people getting dangerously stupid with alcohol) that zero% of the time was I drinking enough to need a ride myself, nor to sleep it off overnight.   

There's an old pilot's saying: "24 hours from bottle to throttle".  I won't BS anyone and claim I'm a 24-hour guy (when it comes to cars), 'cuz I'm not.  But I will claim that there's nothing more freakin' boring than having "one more beer" around midnight, feeling sober at 1:00 in the morning... and watching late-night infomercials as the last sober dude amidst a sea of drunks until around 3:00 because "2 hours of  time" after the DMV-issued weight/drinks/BAC chart says you're sober is your personal limit. I was probably more at risk from driving tired than driving drunk.

It's been a decade or two since those days, and I love the b00ze, but I drink for the taste, not the buzz.  I'd rather have a one-ounce sip of my favorite craft brew than an entire keg of swill, on account of most of what's out there ain't worth drinkin'.  If it's Bud, Coors, Milller, or tap water, I'll take the tap water!  But when I do indulge, I still hold to my old limits, even though there are no longer any curfews to follow, nor parents to whom I must answer. Because I still have to answer to myself.

Looking back, I think my parents were a lot smarter than I ever gave 'em credit for.

Late to the thread, hate to swing it back on topic, but wotthehell...

Dumb@ss question:  As a non-parent, but as someone who remembers his parents, why should the kid feel he has to lie about it?  If I were a parent, I'd go with "Grounding and driving him to and from everywhere he goes for a couple of months",  but with the deliberate loophole that there's no punishment  if the kid calls and says "Yo, Mom?  At this great party, but there was drinking.    Can't drive.  The last sober dude left an hour ago.  So I either need a ride home tonight from you, or I need to sleep here and come home tomorrow morning." 


Well then, Foo, we think alike.  Because I had that exact conversation with all my children around the dinner table yesterday.  :)

It's been a decade or two since those days, and I love the b00ze, but I drink for the taste, not the buzz.  I'd rather have a one-ounce sip of my favorite craft brew than an entire keg of swill, on account of most of what's out there ain't worth drinkin'.  If it's Bud, Coors, Milller, or tap water, I'll take the tap water!  But when I do indulge, I still hold to my old limits, even though there are no longer any curfews to follow, nor parents to whom I must answer. Because I still have to answer to myself.



I agree here too.  And I'm glad to hear that the approach your parents took led to that result.  I'm kinda counting on that being the case for me and my young ones.  Time will tell....

When I was about 16, I got drunk, wrecked my Mom's car by crashing into a parked car.  The policeman stared angrily into my eyes.  When I got home, my Dad gave me the same angry stare and said I was lucky the cop didn't throw me in jail.  It was years ago but I still see their eyes staring at me, and I have the same feeling of shame :-\\.

Well then, Foo, we think alike.  Because I had that exact conversation with all my children around the dinner table yesterday.  :)

I agree here too.  And I'm glad to hear that the approach your parents took led to that result.  I'm kinda counting on that being the case for me and my young ones.  Time will tell....
Hubby and I have talked about this and we had come to the same conclusion.  When our kids get to the age where they'll be going to parties and such (although, most of their friends are pretty "straight as an arrow"), we're going to tell them that if they're honest with us, they won't get in (much) trouble, but if we catch them lying (which we ALWAYS manage to do, even now), the punishment will be HARSH.  There WILL be punishment for doing something they know they shouldn't, but they get "credit" if they're honest about doing it.  I hope that they will continue to be honest (even now, we tell them that they're in less trouble for telling the truth than lying and it's nothing even close to the drinking/driving/drugs issues) and open with us.  Sounds like you've done a pretty good job with your kids O0

The important part is that by giving me those three options (1: lay off the booze.  2: call and ask for a ride home.  3: call and let 'em know I've really screwed up and am sleeping it off) as "no harm, no foul" options, they didn't have to tell me that "option" 4: weaving my way home half-buzzed, hoping not to get busted while and hoping not to kill someone just to make curfew -- was simply not an option. 


Foo Bar = smart.  I will take this in mind when the boy comes "of age"...which might not be too long in the future considering his mama :D :D :-*

Foo Bar = smart.  I will take this in mind when the boy comes "of age"...which might not be too long in the future considering his mama :D :D :-*


Bite me. I was a good kid.

So....we were all 16 once (and some of you are 16 now!).  When you got in trouble, what happened (or happens)?

What do you think is a fair response to a teen who goes to a drinking party and lies to his mom about it?

My own mother was a bit too lenient.  On the other hand, overreaction doesn't help either.  Some suggestions thusfar have been:  grounding and no phone.  grounding and no playstation (not too relevant in this case).  Making him drink a case of beer (nah -- not my style).  Grounding and driving him to and from everywhere he goes for a couple of months (tough on me but appropriate).

What do you think.  Feel free to be creative.  And tell some personal stories.  This could be fun.  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/03/clock.gif
Depending on how much he drank ,he may have already learned a lesson.beer has about half the  alchohol as wine,so any more than the equivalent of 2 cans can really make you barf!Making him drink a case is obviously illegal,and he's sure to tell his friends,who will be impressed.Grounding is probably the safest option,or unearthing some horoe stories about drinkers from your own youth.

Nope.  My grandmother did that to my mom when she was a little girl and she got so sick she had to go the hospital.  My mom said she'd never do that to her kids.


When she grew up and had kids did she mellow out?

When she grew up and had kids did she mellow out?



Who, my mother?  My mother was not a bad child.  My grandmother was a sh*tty mother.

I haven't, thank god.



I hope you do ;D

Foo Bar = smart.  I will take this in mind when the boy comes "of age"...which might not be too long in the future considering his mama :D :D :-*


Foo Bar's Mom And Dad = smart.  Foo Bar = lucky.  (Fixed that for ya.)

Poster "Marian" also has a good point:  Why not have a glass or two of wine over a family dinner (or cook good burgers/chili and use  good beer!) every once in a while.  Depending on what state you live in, it might even be legal to do so at a restaurant, so long as his/her parents are present and have ordered it for him/her.

In much of Europe (France, Italy, Spain in particular), there's a culture where everyone gets a glass of wine with dinner.  Whatever fun we may want to make of the French, they seem to have fewer problems with teen drunkenness than we do in North America.  And as for the Italians and Spaniards, they join the French when it comes to having fantastic culinary traditions.  The wine's part of it.  (Just try cooking without it!)

My parents never punished me, really...I mean I used to get time-outs and stuff, but that was it. They just yelled at me and berated me until I apologized. And whoa-boy, do my parents know how to berate me/yell at me.

My parents never punished me, really...I mean I used to get time-outs and stuff, but that was it. They just yelled at me and berated me until I apologized. And whoa-boy, do my parents know how to berate me/yell at me.


My parents were like that too pretty much.

My parents never punished me, really...I mean I used to get time-outs and stuff, but that was it. They just yelled at me and berated me until I apologized. And whoa-boy, do my parents know how to berate me/yell at me.



My parents' idea of punishment was not physical.  As I said, they both were abused as children and they vowed never to hit their kids.  We got spanked maybe twice in our entire childhood.  And it wasn't even a bad spanking.  My parents punished us by taking things away, severely curtailing our freedoms , stuff like that.  I think if we had been treated the way they were, neither of us would be talking to them today.