Post your fortunes here. If you had chinese food & got a cookie at the end of your meal, save the fortune & share it with us, or just make one up, or you can go to one of many sites that offer online fortune cookies. Some have spoof fortunes and are quite insultive & funny.    here's a link to one    www.badcookie.com         and here's another link with regular nice fortunes  http://chinaunique.com/cookie/fortune.htm

here is mine from todays lunch. *Soon you will be sitting on top of the world*

now here's one from badcookie.com

*You have a reputation for being deceitful and treacherous*

I don't like the ones that aren't really fortunes, but just comments like "You are witty and popular" as opposed to "You will travel to exotic places in the near future."

The last piano sale I worked, we got Chinese food for lunch and my fortune said, "You will soon embark on a new career."  Hooray!

"Everyone agrees, you're the greatest"

"You are going to read this fortune and say 'I could have written a better fortune than that!'"

I've got a whole pile of them on my desk at work.  I almost thought of collecting them online too, but figured someone else was already a bigger geek than me and probably did it. 

I love those fortunes that tell you things that are common sense.  The last fortune cookie I had read "Your wellness is the key to a long life".  Really?  I had no idea  ::) ;D

Ever notice how just about every fortune cookie saying can be improved by the simple addition of the words "in bed"?

"You have a reputation for being deceitful and treacherous in bed."
"You are witty and popular in bed."
"You will travel to exotic places in the near future... in bed."
"You will soon embark on a new career in bed."
"Everyone agrees, you're the greatest in bed."
"You are going to read this fortune and say 'I could have written a better fortune than that in bed!'"
"Your wellness is the key to a long life in bed."

And that's just using the fortunes that got posted in... umm... thread.

Ever notice how just about every fortune cookie saying can be improved by the simple addition of the words "in bed"?

"You have a reputation for being deceitful and treacherous in bed."
"You are witty and popular in bed."
"You will travel to exotic places in the near future... in bed."
"You will soon embark on a new career in bed."
"Everyone agrees, you're the greatest in bed."
"You are going to read this fortune and say 'I could have written a better fortune than that in bed!'"
"Your wellness is the key to a long life in bed."

And that's just using the fortunes that got posted in... umm... thread.


I saw a show like that.. where, to piss a guy off, these other people gave him all these fortune cookies they stuffed themselves. It went like this:

Woman: Hey, let's make this fun! After you get your fortune, say 'in bed', and see if it works.
Man 1: Hmm.. "You will try new things.. in bed!" *laughs*
Woman: "You will make many friends by trying new things.. in bed!"
Man: Let's see.. "You leave all women disappointed.. in bed?" Lemme try another... "You are considered pathetic.. in bed?" These can't be right. "You're a small-winkied assh-ole"?! That's not even a fortune!

I do that "...in bed" thing with all my fortunes. It drives Rice Cube up the wall.

The best fortune I ever got (which I kept because it was so awesome) said, "You will live a long life, long enough to open many, many fortune cookies." ;D

I do that "...in bed" thing with all my fortunes. It drives Rice Cube up the wall.

The best fortune I ever got (which I kept because it was so awesome) said, "You will live a long life, long enough to open many, many fortune cookies." ;D


Awesome?  That's the most baleful curse I've ever seen in a fortune cookie.  I mean, it's telling you and your significant other that you're going to be picking crumbs out of the sheets for the REST. OF. YOUR. LIVES!

"Beware of a stranger with a smile" -- I got that one 26 years ago in college and since I had just met a guy....well, it was appropriate and I've always remembered it.

I just heard the **In Bed** ending addition to fortune cookies a couple of weeks ago and had never heard that, but it sure does make them a little more fun.

"Beware of a stranger with a smile"


...in bed?

a) words to live by.

-- I got that one 26 years ago in college and since I had just met a guy....well, it was appropriate and I've always remembered it.


b) ya don't say?  tell us!
c) all of the above?

I just found this one on the kitchen countertop
*Health and a good conscience is a good source of happiness*              in bed

are we gonna be doing the in bed thing?  that's pretty cool.
                                                         

"For a good time, call...."





Cat

Beware of a stranger with a smile...in bed?

a) words to live by.
b) ya don't say?  tell us!
c) all of the above?


Definitely choice "C"  ;D  (gosh he was cute but...oy vey!....a SLY one)

http://chinaunique.com/cookie/cookie1.jpg Love is like paint,...it makes things beautiful when you spread it,
...but it will dry up if you don't use it.
http://chinaunique.com/cookie/cookie2.jpg Your greatest fortune is the friends and family you have.  
http://chinaunique.com/cookie/cookie3.jpg You find beauty in ordinary things. Keep this trait.


*now for a bad fortune http://chinaunique.com/cookie/cookie1.jpg You have an unsually repulsive personallity        dang, that's brutal  ;D

For the first time ever.. last weekend.. everyone opened their fortune cookies and read out their fortunes.

I had no fortune in mine.

I guess I'm clinically dead.

For the first time ever.. last weekend.. everyone opened their fortune cookies and read out their fortunes.

I had no fortune in mine.

I guess I'm clinically dead.


That happened to me once, very disheartening.    :-\\

That happened to me once, very disheartening.    :-\\


How long ago did you get that happen to you?

I wanna know roughly how long I have to live..  ;D

How long ago did you get that happen to you?

I wanna know roughly how long I have to live..  ;D


Confucius say, the lack of fortune does not necessarily mean you are unfortunate...

Confucius say, the lack of fortune does not necessarily mean you are unfortunate...


Like.. man.. I gotta like... make me own fortune right.. dude... groovy.. wow.

I got one today, opened it and was bummed. *Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst*  what the heck kind of crap is that to give to customers?  >:(

I got one today, opened it and was bummed. *Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst*  what the heck kind of crap is that to give to customers?  >:(


You forgot "in bed" at the end!

You forgot "in bed" at the end!
Dang it Meat!  you had to bring that up didn't ya. I left that part off on purpose  ;D

How long ago did you get that happen to you?

I wanna know roughly how long I have to live..  ;D



It's been at least 25 years so keep paying the rent.  ;)    My strangest fortune was "You will find the whereabouts of Yma Sumac"  :o  huh!  Well, a few months later I was with a group of people and I mentioned the fortune and a guy said that Yma Sumac was an opera singer whose name was really Amy Camus(backwards, forwards name) and at that time, she lived a couple of cities over in Winchester.  So I guess the fortune came true.

here is mine from the fortune cookie generator...

Your Fortune Is

http://images.blogthings.com/fortunecookiegenerator/cookie.jpg

7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

http://www.blogthings.com/fortunecookiegenerator/

I don't believe in fortune Cookies

I don't believe in fortune Cookies


You deny their existence?

You deny their existence?



I only eat the fortune cookies for the crunchy cookie only

You forgot "in bed" at the end!



we do the "in bed" thing....or the "in my pants" thing!  :D ;D

The last time I opened a fortune cookie, inside was the check for the next table...

I said, "Hey, man! I think I got your check!"

...They walked out, and I was stuck paying $75.00...... >:(