I'm frustrated as hell from my lack of success in the dating world and I've tried time after time after time to get some help from my brother, my uncle, my dad, it seems like noone I know is willing to help.  They just don't seem to care and I'm getting sick of it.

I wanted to know if this is how people are in general or if my family/friends(well, actually just family I don't have any friends here) are such Aholes.  :\'(

[quote author=

All of my family have been very helpful with me and still are. My cousin David has always been a fountain of wisdom for me.


Thats good.

I don't know why no one in my family will help.  I can't even get them to TALK to me about it, they just change the subject as quickly as possible and/or give me a variant of "don't worry about it". ::)

There are some people you don't want help from in this department!  :-X

What kind of help?  You want them to set you up with a blind date?  Or you want advice?  Can we help?

There are some people you don't want help from in this department!  :-X


True, but the three people I mentioned(my dad, my uncle, and my brother) are all good at it so I don't understand why they refuse to help.


What kind of help?  You want them to set you up with a blind date?  Or you want advice?


Setting me up on a blind date would be nice, or just setting me up with somebody period.  Advice too.


Can we help?


I hope so, but theres probably not too much you guys can do being on the internet.

I wish there were some local personals, but the paper doesn't have them.

I'm thinking about going to the local strip club because its probably the closest I can get to any action.  Its  18+ not 21+ so I can get in.. i know you just get to look at the dancers and all it does is get you hard up but damn I am anyway.  At least I can see some boob if I go there.

[quote author=

If I "set someone up", I try to be careful about it. I don't set people up, just to set them up. Just because I know a single guy and a single girl (or visa-versa), doesn't mean that it will work. I usually try to get a sense about people, what they are looking for in a relationship and if I see some commonality there, I just may try to set them up. But, I do it in a certain way. I will introduce them to each other and then whatever step they decide to take is up to them. Even though I may feel that two people are right for each other, they just may not have any chemestry together. In high school, my then boyfriend and I set his brother up with a friend of mine. To this day, they are still married.




Cat

Having said that, I haven't really used the dating sites much yet. I've registered, but am still hesitating taking the next step...


They're a total waste of time unless you're willing/able to pay money for a membership.


If I "set someone up", I try to be careful about it. I don't set people up, just to set them up. Just because I know a single guy and a single girl (or visa-versa), doesn't mean that it will work. I usually try to get a sense about people, what they are looking for in a relationship and if I see some commonality there, I just may try to set them up. But, I do it in a certain way. I will introduce them to each other and then whatever step they decide to take is up to them. Even though I may feel that two people are right for each other, they just may not have any chemestry together. In high school, my then boyfriend and I set his brother up with a friend of mine. To this day, they are still married.




Cat


I'd take anything I could get right now.

[quote author=

Have you really tried many online dating sites? Is this speaking from experience?


I've tried literally somewhere in the ballpark of 15-20 different sites, and ALL of them have free membership which allows you to search but not do much else.  You have to buy a premium membership to send messages and things of that sort.

[quote author=

Yeah I'm aware of that, have you ever took that step and bought 'premium' membership to send messages? Do ppl really have much success? It struck me as a bit of a rip-off the first time I saw how much they were charging.


It seems like a rip-off to me too.  Most places charge something like 20 dollars a month, or over a hundred for a 6-month membership.  No way am I going to pay money like that for a service that cannot be garaunted to work for you.  Besides, I really don't have the money.

[quote author=

I don't take a lot of stock in dating services. Of course the thing is when you stop looking, that is when you will find someone. There are always chat rooms/message boards that do not cost but who knows who/what you will find in them. You have to be careful. There is also another place where I have known people who met and eventually got married-Pogo.com. It is a gaming site. You can play games, chat with people and for the most part it is free (but they have an "excusive" club that you have to pay for-I never did). I also know that yahoo has groups-I don't know if they have a singles group or not (not something that sought out).

For off-line, going to school is a great place to meet people. Churches, social clubs, volunteer services, even working on a political campaign you can meet people. Bars are the WORSE place to meet anyone.



Cat

[quote author=

Try Nerve.com.  It's a different kind of site and their pay structure (at least last time I was there) is different.  You purchase a certain amount of points and then use a point for each time you send a message to someone -- something like that.  I don't think it's too expensive.  Forgot about places like EHarmony -- WAY too expensive and you might not wind up with any dates anyway.

However you're feeling, try to keep your communications sounding positive.  Desperation and pessimism scare people.

Ihave never tried helping someone...but i dont think i'd be good at it...i like everyone and would be a poor judge of matches.

[quote author=

[quote author=

No.  I wouldn't want people messing in my personal life, so I stay out of other people's.

My Mother has been very helpful so far with my relationship with Robin in the past year or so.She's been given me ideas on how to make her happy and I thank her for that. :)

Blind dates suck.  I went on one before.  I wanted to die.

My mom set me up on a blind date once.  It was a pretty good time, especially considering he was mom's choice.  (Didn't go for date #2, but still -- a cool guy).

Blind dates suck.  I went on one before.  I wanted to die.



How do blind dates work? ???

How do blind dates work? ???



Someone you know (a friend, co-worker, family member) sets you up on a date with someone you don't know.  Hence why it's called a "blind" date; you've never seen the guy/girl before.

My last boyfriend was sort of a blind date incident. We met online but met in person some 2 years later. When we met in person (some 3,000 away from home for me  :o ) It was like meeting a totally different person.

Someone you know (a friend, co-worker, family member) sets you up on a date with someone you don't know.  Hence why it's called a "blind" date; you've never seen the guy/girl before.



Thank God it never happened to me.

No.  I wouldn't want people messing in my personal life, so I stay out of other people's.


Good point, but I'm a social cripple. ;D :D

[quote author=

For off-line, going to school is a great place to meet people. Churches, social clubs, volunteer services, even working on a political campaign you can meet people. Bars are the WORSE place to meet anyone.


I didn't have much luck at school.  I'm just so shy I can't approach people at all.  I didn't make friends either.

I don't really participate in any of that kind of stuff which probably doesn't help but there aren't any activities like that around here that interest me really.  I swear to god this town is like the f*cking arm pit of America.

The only local dating service is Christian. ::)



However you're feeling, try to keep your communications sounding positive.  Desperation and pessimism scare people.


Yeah, I know.  Its just hard to keep from it, at least for me in my situation.


This is just a theory, but they might not want to take you along on their "adventures" because they are afraid you may be relegated to wingman status.  This is not to slight you in any way, but it does happen.  I have played wingman for my friends many a time, but that was voluntary...your family may be afraid that you may become the wingman subconsciously.



What do you mean, like they want me to learn on my own?


This, if it's true, is why any method anyone suggests won't work.

you need to find a way of feeling comfortable just chatting to females, getting to know them as people rather than potential bed mates.  Do an evening class or join a social group where you will have something in common with everyone going.  Then you can widen your circle of friends and go out as a group with no presssures.


This sounds pretty good but theres not really anything like that around here.  Not anything that would interest me anyway.

I guess I could pretend to be a Christian and try that local dating service.

[quote author=

There must be something!  A cookery class, language lessons, exercise group, swimming classes, flower arranging, photgraphy, car maintenance, a political action group, charity work, scouting, music group.  What about work (I've forgotten if you work or not but I think you don't and are waiting to go to college?)  there are plenty of jobs out there where you could be working with people a similar age to you that get together outside of work for a beer or two (or whatever those underage do)


I really can't think of anything.

Here in a few weeks i'll start working part time for my dad.  Hes a residential painting contractor.  Its not the type of job where I'll be working with people my own age of course, but I've really got to take it.  My dad needs some extra help, and I can make more money doing that than at any other kinda job I could get.

I dunno, I guess I'm purely at the mercy of luck.  And mine is not so good. :P

I'll be taking some classes again in the fall, thats the only thing that could possibly work but it didn't last time.  I guess shy guys are doomed to be alone, its not f*cking fair.  Chicks can just wait on somebody to ask them out.  Why do we have to do the asking?

[quote author=

Then you are not trying imo.  remember giyf


Whats that stand for? ???



I think you need to start by seeing women as people and potential friends first of all.  I really don't get the impression that you do from the posts I've read from you on this topic before.  You mainly come across as something who thinks that you can hang around and a women will just ask you to jump into bed with her.  It doesn't work like that at all.


Thats not how I think of it. 

[quote author=

Well I googled Tyler, Texas+clubs and I couldn't find one that interested me. I guess I could pick one to go to just for the sake of going.

[quote author=

[quote author=

I just googled tyler texas and found a few pages.  this one seems to have links to some organisations that you might like to join

http://www.cityoftyler.org/Default.aspx?tabid=32

also this one

http://www.tylerbicycleclub.com/

And another list of organisations in the area

http://www.volunteermatch.org/bymsa/m8640/c/org1.html


I'm aware of all those, its just that none of them peak my interest.


  Honstly..?  At least act disinterested.  The women most likely to respond to my charms respond as such because the charms aren't directed at them.  As long as you're slathering platitudes and witticisms unto them, a certain part of every person's need for security and attention is fulfilled...

  Consider going out for drinks with several of your friends.  If you continue to balance your conversation 'twixt all of your associates, the charm will become apparent, and perhaps desired.  If you're just giving it away to one person, what need has that person to make any effort?  As shallow as it sounds, I've discovered that women will, in some cases, pursue a viable charm merely because they aren't the focus of it.  Let me disclaim, though, that in relation to my own personality, these are generally not women on my "committed" list.  I'm all up for a good lay, mind you, but I just can't figure out the nature of the one-night stand.  Apparently you have to lie about your name, or something, because it truly does become an emotional mess for at least one party, and usually both.  I've rejected the notion of the one-nighter because I've never successfully pulled it off.  The best I've managed is a 1-week affair; the worst a five-year relationship in which we both continually made each other miserable.

  So what will happen is that a woman will approach in an attempt to get to know the person behind that flashing charm; if you both happen to be genuine people at that moment, the potential is limitless....

  I have never "successfully" accomplished what I have just described (botched one-nighters, yeah, those were real).  But the whole point is that two people who put up fronts to impress each other are invariably disappointed in each other.  "Be yourself", as the cliche goes, but for heaven's sake, don't aim it at the object of your desire exclusively...


I never got the "just be yourself" thing. I don't see how I can be more any more than I already am. :D

I always get some variation of JBY on this topic.

I think that the reason your male relatives won't help you out with dating is that they don't want you to be disappointed and take it out on them if it doesn't work out.

Don't you live near enough to Dallas to go there? People have said this before, but...you could do a cooking class, since that is your interest.

[quote author=

[quote author=

I just want to meet somebody who likes me, and get to know someone else.  I'm not just looking for sex or something, I want to be someone's boyfriend.

I just want to meet somebody who likes me, and get to know someone else.  I'm not just looking for sex or something, I want to be someone's boyfriend.




Awwwwww.  If I could move to Texas, I would.  I wish more guys thought the way you do.

Awwwwww.  If I could move to Texas, I would.


Wow thats nice of you.  Because thats like saying you'd move to purgatory. :P

[quote author=

Well, at least it's not hell, right?  That would be if you lived in Boston.


Zing! :D

You're once, twice, three times a Yankees fan. ;D

[quote author=

[quote author=

[quote author=

[quote author=

That seems a little contradictory to a lot of your posts, man.. are you looking for companionship, or the sex, or either, or both?


Both of course.

[quote author=

So you're looking to have sex with a guy? :o



WTF?  Where in the name of God did you get that from?

WTF?  Where in the name of God did you get that from?



I'm sorry SM,I didn't read it correctly.My Bad. ::)

What ARE you interested in?  If Tyler doesn't offer it, try a nearby town.  If you don't get out and do SOMETHING, you can't really expect to meet anyone.  I don't mean that to sound harsh, but if you're just sitting at home, unless someone who is visiting happens to bring a friend, you're not likely to meet anyone.


I wish somebody I knew would fix me up with somebody.  There are only 3 people to ask really, and I know none of them know anybody.

I'm going to be taking classes in the fall again, but I didn't meet anybody there last semester. 

So I'm really at a loss to solve this problem.

[quote author=

Alex check out becomeaplayer.com if you want advice in picking up women.

Do you help or have you ever helped somebody in dating?

Help ?  I could never work out how to help myself !  :( God help others if I started offering advice on the subject  :-\\

So your Family can't help you?


I guess not, Howard.  The most I get out of them is "don't worry about it", or "just be yourself".  Most of the time they try to change the subject.


Alex check out becomeaplayer.com if you want advice in picking up women.


Hmm, I'll give it a look since you suggested it, Donnie. 

Alex check out becomeaplayer.com if you want advice in picking up women.




Is that a good website?

Alex check out becomeaplayer.com if you want advice in picking up women.


Ah C'mon  >:( >:( >:(

A quick look at this reveals it is full of the standard claptrap.  Some examples after perusing the front page for no more than 10 seconds :

Everything from the best ways to apply cologne... to which ones you should buy. Learn how to use it right for maximum response from women.  ::)

What are pheromones? Learn everthing about them and why they are important if you want to seduce and attract women. Get any women in the mood!

Yes, it's the famous Player's Rulebook! Follow these rules and you'll attract and seduce women like a pro. Pick up women by learning the do's and dont's

Spare me  ::)

[quote author=

Ah C'mon  >:( >:( >:(

A quick look at this reveals it is full of the standard claptrap.  Some examples after perusing the front page for no more than 10 seconds :

Everything from the best ways to apply cologne... to which ones you should buy. Learn how to use it right for maximum response from women.  ::)

What are pheromones? Learn everthing about them and why they are important if you want to seduce and attract women. Get any women in the mood!

Yes, it's the famous Player's Rulebook! Follow these rules and you'll attract and seduce women like a pro. Pick up women by learning the do's and dont's

Spare me  ::)


Sheesh! ::)

You're right about that!

Sheesh! ::)

You're right about that!


Some of the advice seemed pretty good  :-\\

My best advice for men is LEARN HOW TO DANCE. Women love guys who are not afraid to go out on the dance floor. And personally, I think waltzing is one of most romantic dance. So guys, if you want to sweep women off their feel, waltz with them. (It worked for me.  ;) )




Cat

My best advice for men is LEARN HOW TO DANCE. Women love guys who are not afraid to go out on the dance floor. And personally, I think waltzing is one of most romantic dance. So guys, if you want to sweep women off their feel, waltz with them. (It worked for me.  ;) )




Cat




That makes sense.  A lot of women seem to like dancing. 

Okay, here's what I used to do before I was married (this doesn't include the random times I decided to hook up with chicks on the internet though :D )

I went out with friends.  Usually to places with lots of people around.  Also, usually in an environment where you can be active, not so much just walking around with a beer in your hand.

We went around, milled around, talked to people.  Discussed who was hot and who was not.  Migrated over to hot, stayed away from not.

Now, my definitions of "hot" are different from yours, so it's up to you to decide, but my friends and I would start talking to my particular "hot" girl and then they would gradually go off and do their own thing while I was left talking to random hot girl.  This has several possibilities:

1.  You find out that hot girl is married/engaged/lesbian/doesn't like you/you don't like her and move on (or you just made a friend, which ain't bad);

2.  You get invited to another party/venue where you just increased your chances of meeting more hot girls;

3.  You get a number, so use it.

What's the worst that can happen?  They say "no" to you, shatter your confidence for like 10 seconds, then you take another swig of your beer/soda/water and move on.

I wasn't looking to have sex either, just to have someone to talk to who was interesting.  Who wants to have sex with a log?

Btw, that one poster was correct in surmising that your family possibly doesn't want to help you because they're afraid you won't implement their advice correctly or something.  This is similar to what I meant by the "wingman" comment.  They don't want you to flame out and become a wallflower while they do all the talking, and they might be afraid that when they let you do the talking you crash and burn.

Best thing to do is to initiate the conversation yourself, then keep asking questions to find out more about the person you could be potentially interested in, and go from there.

Who wants to have sex with a log?


Well...




...I 'wood' !





(I'm so sorry!  :-[)

Alex doesn't need to become a player.  No woman wants to be with a "player".

Alex doesn't need to become a player.  No woman wants to be with a "player".


A lot of women are with players but just don't know it, or don't want to believe it when it's rather apparent (like on Maury Povich  ;D)

Ah C'mon  >:( >:( >:(

A quick look at this reveals it is full of the standard claptrap.  Some examples after perusing the front page for no more than 10 seconds :

Everything from the best ways to apply cologne... to which ones you should buy. Learn how to use it right for maximum response from women.  ::)

What are pheromones? Learn everthing about them and why they are important if you want to seduce and attract women. Get any women in the mood!

Yes, it's the famous Player's Rulebook! Follow these rules and you'll attract and seduce women like a pro. Pick up women by learning the do's and dont's

Spare me  ::)


You mean...

...that crateload of 'chest wigs' I ordered just ain't gonna cut it?  :o

Alex doesn't need to become a player.  No woman wants to be with a "player".


Some probably do.  8)

Alex doesn't need to become a player.  No woman wants to be with a "player".


I wasn't a "player".  I was just thrusting myself into situations where I could maximize success, success being a phone number and an official first date.  Is that not what he is looking for?  Because a "player" goes for the easy kill and one-night stands. 

He's gotta start somewhere, why not do something with a history of success?  And even if he tries something similar to what I suggested, there's no guarantee he'll bat 1.000, but at least he isn't sitting at home wondering what could have been.

I wasn't a "player".  I was just thrusting myself into situations where I could maximize success, success being a phone number and an official first date.  Is that not what he is looking for?  Because a "player" goes for the easy kill and one-night stands. 

He's gotta start somewhere, why not do something with a history of success?  And even if he tries something similar to what I suggested, there's no guarantee he'll bat 1.000, but at least he isn't sitting at home wondering what could have been.



I wasn't talking about/referring to you or your situation.  I was talking about that website link that Donnie Darko posted.

Hehe.  Yeah, be like Quagmire, that'll get you slapped.

Hehe.  Yeah, be like Quagmire, that'll get you slapped.


Quagmire get's all the "giggity" he needs.

I need to meet more women.  I've made no female aquaintences here. 

Unfortunately there are a lack of under 21 clubs around here.  A club would just seem easier because its more expected for you to chat her up there than at some random place like the grocery store or at the mall.  Cold approaches in places like that call for more experience than I've got.

[quote author=

I've never helped someone in dating, but when is someone gonna help me.  I need a woman  :\'(

I've never helped someone in dating, but when is someone gonna help me.  I need a woman  :\'(


Und vat seems to be ze problem, Mein Herr?  :)

[quote author=

I guess it comes down to I'm just too chickensh*t.  I can't do approaches at all. 

I need better confidence.

I could just instead concentrate on making friends so they could perhaps introduce me to someone instead, but I suck at making them too.

I already have a close friend, my best friend actually, whos good with chicks but he lives up in Dallas.

[quote author=

[quote author=

Its not a problem anyone can solve for me I suppose.  Its my problem, and my problem alone.  Frustrating as that may be...

I don't think I'll be able to solve it for a long time yet though. 

[quote author=

You should be dancing, yeah! Dancing, yeah!




that's a good one, learn to dance many styles very well and you'll be a hit

[quote author=

Some probably do.  8)


I'd like to meet those women then. And set fire to their heads.

Some probably do.  8)



Then those women are messed up and don't know what they want.  Men like that are no good. 

No man should be a player.  The way I see it .. find the woman that you want to be with for the rest of your days, and never let her go :)

this one time I thought I am just charming these chicks, they're all over me, and they keep coming up to me asking me if I wanna dance.  then I remembered I was at a strip club  :-[

No man should be a player.  The way I see it .. find the woman that you want to be with for the rest of your days, and never let her go :)


I think I may of already have :)

this one time I thought I am just charming these chicks, they're all over me, and they keep coming up to me asking me if I wanna dance.  then I remembered I was at a strip club  :-[


They just want your money.  Run!

I think I may of already have :)


But you can't marry a magazine ;D

But you can't marry a magazine ;D




Oh SNAP!

But you can't marry a magazine ;D


Is there a Tamara magazine?  ;D

Is there a Tamara magazine?  ;D


I can't tell because you got all the pages stuck together

Gross :P

I can't tell because you got all the pages stuck together

Gross :P


What's more gross, is that you imagined that I did  :P

They just want your money.  Run!
I know, the heartless scrumpets!!!! preying on the helpless & weak  ;D  actually I haven't been to one of those in a long time. plus I'm married to the church lady & she'd beat the sin outta me if she found out.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c235/badfingermike/DaCa-Church20Lady.jpg

I know, the heartless scrumpets!!!! preying on the helpless & weak  ;D  actually I haven't been to one of those in a long time. plus I'm married to the church lady & she'd beat the sin outta me if she found out.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c235/badfingermike/DaCa-Church20Lady.jpg



You should take her with you ;)

Where in NorCal are you?

You should take her with you ;)

Where in NorCal are you?
she wouldn't dig it, she's quite proper which makes the saying (opposites attract) so true. I'm in the East bay in El Sobrante, near Pinole & Orinda & Richmond.  I thought I read you guys used to be in the east bay.

I know, the heartless scrumpets!!!! preying on the helpless & weak  ;D  actually I haven't been to one of those in a long time. plus I'm married to the church lady & she'd beat the sin outta me if she found out.
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c235/badfingermike/DaCa-Church20Lady.jpg






Mike, do you know how long it would take to beat the sin out of you?  Yeah, too long.

she wouldn't dig it, she's quite proper which makes the saying (opposites attract) so true. I'm in the East bay in El Sobrante, near Pinole & Orinda & Richmond.  I thought I read you guys used to be in the east bay.


Do you ever go to Concord?

she wouldn't dig it, she's quite proper which makes the saying (opposites attract) so true. I'm in the East bay in El Sobrante, near Pinole & Orinda & Richmond.  I thought I read you guys used to be in the east bay.


Yeah, I was the one who lived in Danville and went to Berkeley for college.  My wife is from the Monterey Bay Area.  I have family in Vallejo and Danville still.

I guess having a proper wife would keep you in check eh?  :D

Yeah, I was the one who lived in Danville and went to Berkeley for college.  My wife is from the Monterey Bay Area.  I have family in Vallejo and Danville still.

I guess having a proper wife would keep you in check eh?  :D
she keeps me in check, unless I wanna be bad  and what she don't know wont hurt  ;D  I work in San Ramon and get my haircut in Danville. great places, and expensive towns to live in. 
**sorry to go off topic Alex***  but we are trying to help you get a woman .  se ya Rice_Cube

Yeah, start talking to girls and stuff.  It'll be fun.

Mike, do you know how long it would take to beat the sin out of you?  Yeah, too long.
It's a daily occurance, and there's never enough time for her to finish the beating. but like Ray Liotta said in 'Goodfellas'  "everyone takes a beating"


Do you ever go to Concord?
yup, many times this year. Are you familiar with the Concord area? I've seen many a concert at The Concord Pavillion, now known as the Sleeptrain Amphitheater. Good restaurants and a big cinemaplex there and I play softball tournaments there too.

  You're not alone there, bro...

  I'm seriously scared to death of them...



AWWW, Come on. We don't bite...hard 


Unless you want us to.


;) ;D ;D ;D



Cat

Some of the advice seemed pretty good  :-\\


Well, I don't where colonge myself... I don't like the smell of it and I've still had a couple of occasions where girls showed some type of interest in me(ones that I didn't even know).

But I seem to get more attention from bi/gay men. I can't figure out why... mainly because I'm not gay/bi myself. I think a minor reason for the lack of interest lately could be that people out on the street think I'm gay, one of my co-workers told me that her husband thinks I'm gay. What should I do about this crap?

Well, I don't where colonge myself... I don't like the smell of it and I've still had a couple of occasions where girl showed some type of interest in me(ones that I didn't even know).

But I seem to get more attention from bi/gay men. I can't figure out why... mainly because I'm not gay/bi myself. I think a minor reason for the lack of interest lately could be that people out on the street think I'm gay, one of my co-workers told me that her husband thinks I'm gay. What should I do about this crap?



Do you act outwardly effeminate?

Do you act outwardly effeminate?


No I don't, not from what I can tell.

I have nerdy voice, but it's not effeminate. It's not my fault it developed that way.

And please respond back, I've had too many instances where no one did when I feel it's important that they do.

No I don't, not from what I can tell.

I have nerdy voice, but it's not effeminate. It's not my fault it developed that way.

And please respond back, I've had too many instances where no one did when I feel it's important that they do.



I don't know what else to ask.  Usually when people assume a man/woman is homosexual it's because they act in a way that is stereotypically gay. 

I don't know what else to ask.  Usually when people assume a man/woman is homosexual it's because they act in a way that is stereotypically gay. 


This happened the last time I brought it up, where someone asked what type of colonge I wear(which my answer: none, but they never replied back to it, so I wasn't sure if they read it or not). I can't tell when  someone actually reads my response without one back, but this only applies to posts I think are important, which is less than 10% of them. If nobody responds to an image or video I find, I don't care.

This happened the last time I brought it up, where someone asked what type of colonge I wear(which my answer: none, but they never replied back to it, so I wasn't sure if they read it or not). I can't tell when  someone actually reads my response without one back, but this only applies to posts I think are important, which is less than 10% of them. If nobody responds to an image or video I find, I don't care.



The only other reason I can think of for someone assuming you're gay/bisexual is you talk about liking/having interest in things that are stereotypically associated with gay men (PLEASE no one crawl up my ass, I said stereotypically). 


Do you go out with friends to bars or clubs?

The only other reason I can think of for someone assuming you're gay/bisexual is you talk about liking/having interest in things that are stereotypically associated with gay men (PLEASE no one crawl up my ass, I said stereotypically). 

Do you go out with friends to bars or clubs?



Nothing in that category either, let's see...

Hobbies: video games, music, song and parody writing, game idea thinking, anime & manga and guitar playing. Those things are enjoyed by both men and women as far as I can tell(at least most of them).

What I don't have an interest in hobby wise is: cars and sports(playing or watching). The only game I actually enjoy that's similiar to a sport is bowling and I rarely play that.

I don't go out to bars and clubs either.

Someone could be spreading rumors about me, but considering how private I tend to be in public(I don't trust anyone in my neighborhood and I don't hang out with them), I don't who would.

I'm sorry if I sound abit sensitive about this.

Nothing in that category either, let's see...

Hobbies: video games, music, song and parody writing, game idea thinking, anime & manga and guitar playing. Those things are enjoyed by both men and women as far as I can tell(at least most of them).

What I don't have an interest in hobby wise is: cars and sports(playing or watching). The only game I actually enjoy that's similiar to a sport is bowling and I rarely play that.

I don't go out to bars and clubs either.

Someone could be spreading rumors about me, but considering how private I tend to be in public(I don't trust anyone in my neighborhood and I don't hang out with them), I don't who would.

I'm sorry if I sound abit sensitive about this.



There's nothing wrong with being sensitive about it.  I wouldn't like someone telling others I was a lesbian if I wasn't.  Maybe if you got out more and associated with the opposite sex, that might help?  Do you have any friends that might be able to set you up with someone? 

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive about it.  I wouldn't like someone telling others I was a lesbian if I wasn't.  Maybe if you got out more and associated with the opposite sex, that might help?  Do you have any friends that might be able to set you up with someone? 


Not in my current neighborhood.

And I meant both the gay thing and the lack responses to posts(I was apologizing for both, but posting more than anything).

My plan for right now is just to continue along, and improve myself.  I can't approach but maybe if I'm cool enough I won't have to.

I haven't helped somebody date, but I've helped people who were dating with problems, I guess...

i have two friends that i am dying to set up together but I think they live too far apart...

i have two friends that i am dying to set up together but I think they live too far apart...


How far apart are we talking?

How far apart are we talking?


well, one is in Hoboken and one is in Long Island.
On a good traffic day it's do-able, but if there is trouble on the roads it would be hours.
AND if they meet in Manhattan, she needs to get the last train back to LI and they would not get to stay out very late.

I don't think it's gonna work.

well, one is in Hoboken and one is in Long Island.
On a good traffic day it's do-able, but if there is trouble on the roads it would be hours.
AND if they meet in Manhattan, she needs to get the last train back to LI and they would not get to stay out very late.

I don't think it's gonna work.



Oh, I thought you were thinking cross-country or something, what was I thinking? lol. Oh that's nothing at all...but it might be different in New York for some reason, I don't really know...

[quote author=

Don't they have something called mixers for singles?

Another question(to keep the topic going), how'd everyone meet their first girlfriend or boyfriend?

[quote author=

Never had one :( Hopefully Tamara will return my love, but I kind of doubt it  :\'(


Sorry to hear, Donnie.

My question was directed at those who've had a g/f or b/f.

[quote author=

[quote author=

The Friendship Network


Whats that?

[quote author=

[quote author=

An organization for people with disabilities meet and greet for friendship dating or romance


I have disabilities! So does Tammy!  :D

[quote author=

I have disabilities! So does Tammy!  :D



This organization only caters to people in the New York City area

This organization only caters to people in the New York City area


I know, I was joking.  :)

I'm starting to resent my situation quite a bit, especially toward other guys who are having more success.

[quote author=

[quote author=

Dude, I'm not getting any.  :)


I was thinking about other people. ;D




we were in a community theater play together....that's a really good place to meet people. Alex, I think I remember you telling me one time that you liked to act....why don't you try something like that? ???


Thats an interesting idea. I like to act, yes.

we were in a community theater play together....that's a really good place to meet people. Alex, I think I remember you telling me one time that you liked to act....why don't you try something like that? ???


That would be an interesting place to meet someone. My parents met at a doctor's party as they both worked at hospitals and both somehow knew the same doctor.

[quote author=

we were in a community theater play together....that's a really good place to meet people. Alex, I think I remember you telling me one time that you liked to act....why don't you try something like that? ???


Ah yes.  I met...more than one boyfriend through community theater.  ;)  In fact, I think just about everyone I ever did theater with ended up meeting someone there who they dated at least for awhile.  Great idea.

You mean...

...that crateload of 'chest wigs' I ordered just ain't gonna cut it?  :o


No.  But it *may* get you mistaken for Barry Gibb in a 70's disco film clip  :P

I'm not sure how big you are into dating 40-year-olds ;) 


I wouldn't be opposed, actually.


If you're not having luck doing it the hit-and-miss way, these methods will somewhat increase your odds of success just because of the sheer quantity of choices in one place at one time.



Yes, thats what I was thinking.


Ah yes.  I met...more than one boyfriend through community theater.  ;)  In fact, I think just about everyone I ever did theater with ended up meeting someone there who they dated at least for awhile.  Great idea.


Wow, a second recommendation.  I might want try the community theater thing then.  I'll have to wait until I can get reliable transportation, though. 

[quote author=

Band. Social activities and clubs are a great way to meet people with like interests.


Yeah, a cooking class or community theater might be good places for me.  However the thing is I have to a)have the time and b)the transportation.  I'm going to be going back to school in the fall, and I'll be working with my father.  I currently don't have my own vehicle either so I guess I can't do these things right now.

In the meantime I guess I'll have to accept the situation staying unchanged.  I don't see what else I can do.  I'm not outgoing enough to meet girls at college, and you don't really interact enough with other students in class to get acquainted with anyone at all. 

[quote author=

[quote author=

[quote author=

Come to think of it,  pubs/bars, nightclubs etc. are pretty poor places to pick up. It's loud, noisy, often smokey - and the girls you bring home are often quite intoxicated, so you never know if well, you know...

Come to think of it,  pubs/bars, nightclubs etc. are pretty poor places to pick up. It's loud, noisy, often smokey - and the girls you bring home are often quite intoxicated, so you never know if well, you know...


.. you brought home a girl with a penis?

.. you brought home a girl with a penis?


I'm just saying, that's a possibility...

2.  Not true.  I met a few girlfriends in class.  You have to get into a position where you work with them on a project and/or talk to them before/after class. 


A few, huh? That seems to contradict the information you gave me when we met. ;D

Word of advice. Don't date anyone you work with. If you do and then the relationship goes sour, you will still have to face that person (or get a new job). Not good.




Cat

this one time I thought I am just charming these chicks, they're all over me, and they keep coming up to me asking me if I wanna dance.  then I remembered I was at a strip club  :-[


badddddd, Mike!  ;D

2.  Not true.  I met a few girlfriends in class.  You have to get into a position where you work with them on a project and/or talk to them before/after class. 


Teehee, you said "You have to get into a position... with them."

Word of advice. Don't date anyone you work with. If you do and then the relationship goes sour, you will still have to face that person (or get a new job). Not good.


Nods wildly in total agreement...

Well, I was young (and foolish!)

Have you ever tried speed dating?

Have you ever tried speed dating?



Someone already suggested that.

Someone already suggested that.


Who did? ???

Who did? ???



Rice Cube, I believe.  It was on the previous page.

A few, huh? That seems to contradict the information you gave me when we met. ;D


Yeah, there was the psychobiatch that you know about, then there was a couple more that I never actually did anything with that I didn't mention because they weren't as memorable as you ;)  Or the psycho, for that matter.  Ugh.

Rice Cube, I believe.  It was on the previous page.


Actually, he was suggesting it in a post, but had misgivings, so I told him that there's no shame in the shotgun approach.

Actually, he was suggesting it in a post, but had misgivings, so I told him that there's no shame in the shotgun approach.



What was your answer about speed dating?

What was your answer about speed dating?


It got lost in the mess, eh?  ;)  Hold on...

So he said:

Don't they have something called mixers for singles?

Then to encourage him to try new things, I said:

I have heard of the "speed dating" thing and also gatherings for singles.  Speed dating basically works as like a series of three-minutes-or-less interviews between potential datees...the guy asks the girl questions and vice versa, they answer each other, decide whether or not to switch numbers, and move on.  I actually think this is a lazy way to date, but if you have the time and think of it as going into a candy store and getting samples before deciding on which one to buy (which is a pretty shallow analogy but that's essentially what this thing is) you can give it a go.  The singles gatherings are sometimes broadcast on radio stations, so keep an ear open and find out where and when it is...the age bracket is also important, I'm not sure how big you are into dating 40-year-olds Wink  I do know some really cool 40-year-old women though.

If you're not having luck doing it the hit-and-miss way, these methods will somewhat increase your odds of success just because of the sheer quantity of choices in one place at one time.

I met my first and second girlfriends while in college.  Not as cool as my wife though Wink

And he was cool with the idea, so we shall see ;)

Robin tried speed dating behind my back! >:(

Robin tried speed dating behind my back! >:(


The girl you're dating?  Sorry to hear that :(

The girl you're dating?  Sorry to hear that :(



This was back in December when she thought that she lost faith in me and I wound up thinking she brought a guy back home to have sex with her and I wound up with stomach problems,nervous anxiety,terrible thoughts and not much sleep.She had me worried there. :(

Yeah, there was the psychobiatch that you know about, then there was a couple more that I never actually did anything with that I didn't mention because they weren't as memorable as you ;)  Or the psycho, for that matter.  Ugh.


Hehehe. I know about TWO psychos you were involved with, one of which you never told me much about, just that she was nutso. And the other....well, we'll just leave that alone. ;D

But the other girls you never mentioned. Skank.  http://www.inthe00s.com/smile/04/eek.gif

I have heard of the "speed dating" thing and also gatherings for singles.  Speed dating basically works as like a series of three-minutes-or-less interviews between potential datees...the guy asks the girl questions and vice versa, they answer each other, decide whether or not to switch numbers, and move on.  I actually think this is a lazy way to date, but if you have the time and think of it as going into a candy store and getting samples before deciding on which one to buy (which is a pretty shallow analogy but that's essentially what this thing is) you can give it a go.  The singles gatherings are sometimes broadcast on radio stations, so keep an ear open and find out where and when it is...the age bracket is also important, I'm not sure how big you are into dating 40-year-olds ;)  I do know some really cool 40-year-old women though.

If you're not having luck doing it the hit-and-miss way, these methods will somewhat increase your odds of success just because of the sheer quantity of choices in one place at one time.

I met my first and second girlfriends while in college.  Not as cool as my wife though ;)

My SIL met her current boyfriend at a "speed dating" thing.  The funny thing was, he had expressed interest in her and they were talking, but he still went to another one and she caught him and called him on it.  They're going on almost 2 years now (I think) ;D

What about something like Yahoo People finder or whatever it's called.  If memory serves, it's free :)

What about something like Yahoo People finder or whatever it's called.  If memory serves, it's free :)


People finder eh? I have a Yahoo account.  I'll head over there and check it out.

[quote author=

Well through trial and error I've come to the conclusion internet sites are pretty much worthless when it comes to this.

I can not stress enough the merits of the bar scene.

[quote author=

I can not stress enough the merits of the bar scene.


IMO the bar scene has merits if you're looking for....immediate gratification....but no for an actual relationship.

IMO the bar scene has merits if you're looking for....immediate gratification....but no for an actual relationship.


Actually my uncle met his wife of over 30 years at a bar so don't be too snooty. ;)


I can not stress enough the merits of the bar scene.


Well I'm under 21 so what can I do?  I've checked around endlessly for a fake ID, but here in Texas they're pretty hard to maintain.  The state government here has taken a lot of measurements against fakes, like making under 21 drivers' licenses differently from over 21.

Someone i know offered to get me a hooker, but I turned them down.  Yeah I'm horny but if I went ahead with it, it would only be a temporary solution.  I'd go right back to being horny the next day, or the next hour lol.  Its not like it goes away.

There's a saying from the Bible that applies here: Give a man a fish and he won't be hungry, teach him how to fish and he'll go without hunget the rest of his life.  Um, thats not verbatim, lol.

IMO the bar scene has merits if you're looking for....immediate gratification....but no for an actual relationship.


that was the nicest possible way you could have worded that.  well done!

(and i agree)

[quote author=Keyser S

On a happier note, my brother currently found a wonderful girl through match.com. My brother is turning 27 tomorrow and I think he may have found the "one" But, after listening to what he's gone through over the years, it's been hard on him - yet he's persevered  ;)

that was the nicest possible way you could have worded that.  well done!

(and i agree)


Yeah, I'm pretty good at saying just about anything in polite language.  ;)

On a happier note, my brother currently found a wonderful girl through match.com. My brother is turning 27 tomorrow and I think he may have found the "one" But, after listening to what he's gone through over the years, it's been hard on him - yet he's persevered  ;)



Good Luck to him

IMO the bar scene has merits if you're looking for....immediate gratification....but no for an actual relationship.


I'm totally failing to see the problem here...

I'm totally failing to see the problem here...


;D  I didn't say it was a problem  ;)  (Just a different result is all).

I'm totally failing to see the problem here...


The problem in this case may be spelled "S-T-D"...

And wait a tic, I thought you wuz travelin'...

The problem in this case may be spelled "S-T-D"...



You can't live that way, being frightened.  I'll use common sense and of course always use protection.  Besides I know too many people who sleep around and don't have STDs to swallow the scare tactics that if you sleep around any you'll automatically get infected with some horrible STD. 

[quote author=Keyser S

Davey, you ignorant slut!      http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5wukLeVEWiQAoIijzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=125o8peua/EXP=1155956516/**http%3a//www.bluesbros.us/images/aykroyd_snl_09.jpg



Make fun if you want, but seriously, I know people who've slept around a bunch and don't have STDs.  I will always use protection.

The problem in this case may be spelled "S-T-D"...

And wait a tic, I thought you wuz travelin'...


S-T-D... isn't he that guy that used to hang out with Captain Planet?

(I'm in between stops.)

[quote author=Keyser S

Davey, you ignorant slut!       http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0Je5wukLeVEWiQAoIijzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA4NDgyNWN0BHNlYwNwcm9m/SIG=125o8peua/EXP=1155956516/**http%3a//www.bluesbros.us/images/aykroyd_snl_09.jpg



Sluts...



..wait for it...




... I said WAIT FOR IT!!!...



..


... BOOOOOOOOOONG!!!

Sluts...



..wait for it...




... I said WAIT FOR IT!!!...



..


... BOOOOOOOOOONG!!!
I did not need to be here for that  ;D

[quote author=Keyser S

[quote author=Keyser S

Just because you're going to use protection doesn't mean you should sleep around anyway.  Randon hook-ups can be fun, but they will get boring real fast.
I can see his predicament. the young man wants a poa, and I think he'd be better off finding a girlfriend instead of a poa, but I think he's open to any interaction at this point.

[quote author=Keyser S

I can see his predicament. the young man wants a poa, and I think he'd be better off finding a girlfriend instead of a poa, but I think he's open to any interaction at this point.


Correctamundo, Cunningham.

I dunno, I just kinda felt like talking like the Fonz. :D

[quote author=Keyser S

At the same time, If one just goes to bed with nice girls.. who ya know.. you actually like.. and would enjoy going out with.. who, probably haven't jumped in to bed with every fella that comes along, well then you're far less likely to end up with a green member.
who are you, and what have you done with andy?

Sorry Andy I just think you're too paranoid.  There are a lot of scare tactics out there about this subject, i think things are quite exagerrated.

And nothing will affect a person's feelings like their real life dealings, and I know too many people who sleep around and don't have an STD.

who are you, and what have you done with andy?


yeah- that was like a 1950's health class film. 

who are you, and what have you done with andy?


Hey, it's too late for me, I'm just thinking of the children, WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

who are you, and what have you done with andy?



*Everybody stops.* ... ANDY!?

*Cough*, I mean... Yes, Davey, I'm sure Tia meant Davey.

*Everybody stops.* ... ANDY!?

*Cough*, I mean... Yes, Davey, I'm sure Tia meant Davey.


I swing both ways.

Hey, it's too late for me, I'm just thinking of the children, WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/34213

http://mcsweeneys.net/

Read the Tornadic Scale thing.

SILLY THINGS
MY 3-YEAR-OLD SAID
THAT I'M CERTAIN THE
REST OF THE WORLD
WOULD FIND SWEET
AND CUTE.
BY DAN KENNEDY
- - - -

After a Walk in the Park

ME: Did you like having our silly time today? Did you like our walk?

HIM: I saw ... walky ... and ... (Starts giggling.)

ME: You saw a walky?

HIM: I will crush you.

ME: (Silence.)

HIM: Be certain that I am your undoing. I am everything. There were three things in my beginning: my interrupted biological sleep, a birth, and the end to a warm darkness and silence. And now I am here with you. And a reckoning is coming, that's all I'm saying.

[quote author=Keyser S

SILLY THINGS
MY 3-YEAR-OLD SAID
THAT I'M CERTAIN THE
REST OF THE WORLD
WOULD FIND SWEET
AND CUTE.
BY DAN KENNEDY
- - - -

After a Walk in the Park

ME: Did you like having our silly time today? Did you like our walk?

HIM: I saw ... walky ... and ... (Starts giggling.)

ME: You saw a walky?

HIM: I will crush you.

ME: (Silence.)

HIM: Be certain that I am your undoing. I am everything. There were three things in my beginning: my interrupted biological sleep, a birth, and the end to a warm darkness and silence. And now I am here with you. And a reckoning is coming, that's all I'm saying.


that's so cute!

chlamydia gettin' rid'a'ya

IMO the bar scene has merits if you're looking for....immediate gratification....but no for an actual relationship.
HEY!!!  I met my hubby at a bar and we're going on 12 years :o ;)

I swing both ways.





Me Too.

Me Too.


:)

(I'm kinda lost for words here)

Me Too.


XD Howard... Do you realize what you just implied?

XD Howard... Do you realize what you just implied?


The funny thing is...

..he probably does.

I heard chlamydia is nice this time of year.

And did you know that gonorrhea is the most beautiful word in the English language?  Say it, it rolls right off the tongue...


You've let the scare tactics get to you, my friend. 

XD Howard... Do you realize what you just implied?



What? I'm Gay? ???  :o

What? I'm Gay? ???  :o


It's Ok darling... all the evidence suggests I am as well.. you're in good company.

homos.

homos.

shut up, girl.

shut up, girl.
you'll kindly speak only when spoken to.

you'll kindly speak only when spoken to.


MOMMMMMM!  Tia's hijacking somebody's thread to make gay jokes!!!!!  and he's bothering me!!!

It's Ok darling... all the evidence suggests I am as well.. you're in good company.


Thanks boyfriend. ;D    ;)

MOMMMMMM!  Tia's hijacking somebody's thread to make gay jokes!!!!!  and he's bothering me!!!
*swat*

quit following me around!

*swat*

quit following me around!



Leave her alone

MOMMMMMM!   Tia's hijacking somebody's thread to make gay jokes!!!!!  and he's bothering me!!!


If you two wont shut up.. Your Father and I are turning this car around.. and we're not stopping until we get to Kansas!

If you two wont shut up.. Your Father and I are turning this car around.. and we're not stopping until we get to Kansas!


Great, Tia. You ruin everything.

If you two wont shut up.. Your Father and I are turning this car around.. and we're not stopping until we get to Kansas!



Listen to daddy

Great, Tia. You ruin everything.


Just for that.. we're leaving you in Kansas.

Just for that.. we're leaving you in Kansas.


You'd better apologize, Kansas really does suck.

You'd better apologize, Kansas really does suck.

lol  I know.. you're right

lol  I know.. you're right



..well.. I'm waiting.

..well.. I'm waiting.


i'm jsut agreeing with him. i'd rather stay than apologise to tia.

i'm jsut agreeing with him. i'd rather stay than apologise to tia.


To be fair...

..I think we should just leave him instead.

Just for that.. we're leaving you in Kansas.


With Dorothy and Toto  ;D

With Dorothy and Toto  ;D


No Howard, Tia is gonna come live with you and Stepchan in your enclave.

this has gotta be my least favorite thread since the what-image-is-in-your-head thread.

although judy garland is a hero!

No Howard, Tia is gonna come live with you and Stepchan in your enclave.



No. :o :P

No Howard, Tia is gonna come live with you and Stepchan in your enclave.


I don't know how that would be possible... I live in Indiana and Howard lives in New York.

I don't know how that would be possible... I live in Indiana and Howard lives in New York.



That's far away

I don't know how that would be possible... I live in Indiana and Howard lives in New York.


You could get a commune together in, like, Ohio or something.

You could get a commune together in, like, Ohio or something.



Sorry Rice much too far