Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter


Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

That sounds like a stupid and poor conceived plan to me, he must be nuts to do that.

"The penis has been taken into custody for further quesitoning"

he must be nuts to do that.


Odd choice of words  ;D

Odd choice of words  ;D



I WAS going to say something about that but I thought that I should  :-X    ;D ;D ;D




Cat

he must be nuts to do that.


That's probably all he had left! (Har! Har!)

Some stupid Welshman did the same thing some while back when the Welsh Rugby team defeated England in an international match...drunk out of his mind (obviously!) he boasted to his pals that '...if we beat England, I'll chop my todger off!'

Which they did...and he did!

Back to the original question...Why?

Odd choice of words   ;D


Well, I didn't think about that when typing that word. :D

That's probably all he had left! (Har! Har!)

Some stupid Welshman did the same thing some while back when the Welsh Rugby team defeated England in an international match...drunk out of his mind (obviously!) he boasted to his pals that '...if we beat England, I'll chop my todger off!'

Which they did...and he did!

Back to the original question...Why?


Heh, I would never bet my manhood like that, even if I was drunk.

What's wrong with criminals today? I just can't picture, say, John Dillinger or Machine Gun Kelly chopping off his willy, throwing it at a bunch of policemen, and shouting, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!!"

An officer at the scene has been quoted as saying "this gives a whole new meaning to biting your nose off to spite your face".

What's wrong with criminals today? I just can't picture, say, John Dillinger or Machine Gun Kelly chopping off his willy, throwing it at a bunch of policemen, and shouting, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!!"


LOL  ;D ;D ;D

I hate having a penis. penises are lame.

I kid, of course.

you know about the german cannibal guys, right? the guy ate his own johnson, man! That's a story that'll haunt your dreams, fer schnozzle.

I hate having a penis. penises are lame.

I kid, of course.

you know about the german cannibal guys, right? the guy ate his own johnson, man! That's a story that'll haunt your dreams, fer schnozzle.


Well, if you ever get tired of your penis and decide to get rid of it, just promise me that you won't throw it in my direction. I don't want to have to go through years and years of therapy.

I wouldn't want to throw my own penis at Robin. ;D

An officer at the scene has been quoted as saying "this gives a whole new meaning to biting your nose off to spite your face".

HAHAHA!!  ;D

Why did they reattach it?  Someone that stupid doesn't deserve to have any reproductive organs.

Why did they reattach it?  Someone that stupid doesn't deserve to have any reproductive organs.


;) Whatever happened to everybody should have the right?


What's wrong with criminals today? I just can't picture, say, John Dillinger or Machine Gun Kelly chopping off his willy, throwing it at a bunch of policemen, and shouting, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!!"


;D

Well, if you ever get tired of your penis and decide to get rid of it, just promise me that you won't throw it in my direction. I don't want to have to go through years and years of therapy.
hmm, I didn't know you felt that way about it.

um, you might not wanna open your desk drawer, then.

you may or may not know the heavens gate cultists underwent voluntary castration. One of the funniest SNL skits I ever saw, right after the heavens gate thing they spoof it where it totally works and they're on the hale-bopp comet drinking cocktails and chatting with a white-haired alien dude and they're all, yup, and we did everything you told us to! We even castrated ourselves! And the alien's all, castrated yourselves? you didn't have to castrate yourselves. Who told you that?

I'm willing to bet our young penisflinger was on PCP. PCP is exactly the sort of drug that would make something like this seem like a good idea.

Why did they reattach it?  Someone that stupid doesn't deserve to have any reproductive organs.


I bet it won't ever stand to attention again!

I bet it won't ever stand to attention again!
They reattached mr. bobbitt's penis and he made a porn film after that.

I bet it won't ever stand to attention again!


;D

I wouldn't be so sure.  That Bobbit guy who's wife cut off his penis had his reattached and he's now doing porn.

Ope! great minds think alike.

Ope! great minds think alike.


;D  Is there an echo in here!?

I guess now he is a "loose cannon" ;D

I wouldn't want to throw my own penis at Robin. ;D
You shouldn't fling your penis at your romantic partner. You should dispose of it in an environmentally responsible fashion.

I wonder if the nerves,muscles etc really will be fully functional again??
Or will he need Viagara or a splint?

You shouldn't fling your penis at your romantic partner. You should dispose of it in an environmentally responsible fashion.



Under her Pillows ;D :P

During Whaling days the sailors would make vests out of the whales foreskin(that's true), when it got real cold it they would rub it and it
would turn into a coat 

I wonder if the nerves,muscles etc really will be fully functional again??
Or will he need Viagara or a splint?


If you can show me what a cock splint would look like...

You shouldn't fling your penis at your romantic partner. You should dispose of it in an environmentally responsible fashion.


I feel a really bad, nasty joke coming on...

You shouldn't fling your penis at your romantic partner. You should dispose of it in an environmentally responsible fashion.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA   ;D ;D  That made me shriek with laughter...imagine getting it in flung at your face..the sound would be so funny!!  

I feel a really bad, nasty joke coming on...



Then say it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA   ;D ;D  That made me shriek with laughter...imagine getting in flung at your face..the sound would be so funny!!  



Just remember to keep your mouth closed.

Just remember to keep your mouth closed.


  ;D  I swear this thread is totally hilarious but we should be serious really!! a man is now left with a stump!

   ;D  I swear this thread is totally hilarious but we should be serious really!! a man is now left with a stump!



How do you think a woman feels?

Detachable Penis is a song by the band King Missile from their 1992 album Happy Hour and is their best-known song. The song is narrated by the unnamed owner of the detachable penis. In the course of the song, the title is repeated with an interval of c. 4 seconds.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
The narrator wakes up with a bad hangover to discover that his detachable penis is missing. After searching his apartment, calling the location of the party he attended the night before, and querying all his friends, the narrator is unable to locate his penis.

Depressed, the narrator goes for a walk, and sees his penis for sale on a blanket near an alley next to a broken toaster oven. The man selling the penis asks $22 for it, but the narrator is able to talk him down to $17. The narrator then takes his penis home, washes it off, and puts it on. With his penis back in place, the narrator says he is happy again. Ironically, the song ends with the narrator saying, "Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis."


Song Meaning
For as long as it's been around, there has been a debate about what the song means. One side claims that the Detachable Penis is a metaphor for the writer's girlfriend. They say the song depicts a man losing his girlfriend at a party, calling his friends looking for her, only to find her being sold on the street by a pimp. Finally, he takes her back, and she remains with him until the next party. Several lines from the song seem to support this interpretation: "I dont like being without my penis for too long, it makes me feel like less of a man" or "I was happy again. Complete." The final lines of the song, "Some people say I should get it permanently attached, but I dont know. Even though it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis." can be interpreted to say that people pressure the narrator to get married to his girlfriend, but he prefers to have a relatively loose relationship. The phrase now and then, I go to a party, get drunk and the next morning, I can't remember what I did with it could signify that the guy's girlfriend heavily disapproves of him drinking alcohol.

The other side claims that the writer was just having fun and writing a silly song about a guy with a detachable penis.

The song itself is frequently mistagged as being by Primus, The Dead Milkmen, Butthole Surfers, They Might Be Giants or Nada Surf.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detachable_Penis"